by Sophia Gray
“So, I don’t imagine this was some weird freak coincidence, huh?” Abby said with a bitter laugh, finally getting Jagger to look up from the ground and meet her eyes.
“The most obvious answer is usually the correct one,” Jagger said, his eyes sad and deep and dark. Abby wanted him to look away from her again, the honest raw emotion in his eyes was too much to take, but she couldn’t bring herself to look away either.
“Right,” Abby replied, sniffling a little. She couldn’t tell if she was coming down with a cold or if her body was holding back tears without even trying. Abby had lots of practice doing that nowadays. “So, any clues or…?”
“Don’t worry about that,” Jagger said, offering Abby a sad smile.
Abby just scoffed and stood up straighter, stretching up to her full height. It was still several inches shy of Jagger’s eyes, so she had to keep staring up at him, feeling ridiculously tiny in comparison. “How can you say that to me?” she said, and embarrassingly the question came out sounding more hurt than accusatory. She set her jaw and forced herself to look and sound tougher than she really felt. “I mean, what the fuck am I supposed to do? Just sit back and wait for you to bring the guy in?”
Jagger shifted his weight from one foot to the other, crossing his arms in front of his body. He was clearly uncomfortable, but he cleared his throat and said, “Well, what else can you do?”
“I can fucking help, asshole!” Abby said, her voice coming out high and shrill. She knew she sounded hysterical, but at this point she really didn’t give a shit. Her entire life had just been burnt down to a crisp, the cherry on top of the worst year she’d ever experienced, and now this asshole who barely knew her was telling her that there was nothing she could do about it. How the hell was she supposed to react? “I’m not going to sit back like a good little girl and let you do all the heavy lifting. I’m helping. End of story.”
Jagger shook his head, and his expression changed from sad and sympathetic to exasperated. “You can’t. It’s too dangerous. Just leave it to me. I can handle it. I’ll take care of it for you. I promise.”
He sounded so fucking sincere and sweet, but it only made Abby madder. She felt like one of her patients, being talked down to by an arrogant doctor. She didn’t want to be comforted. She didn’t want to be placated, having her anger contained and regulated and controlled. She wanted to let it loose, send it out flying into the night sky like a projectile weapon, aimed right at anyone who’d ever hurt her. Instead, Abby grumbled under her breath, not even saying words but just mumbling noises that felt good to say, letting Jagger imagine the meanest thing he could think of rather than coming up with anything herself.
“Look, you’ve had a hard couple of days—” Jagger started to say, but Abby cut him off.
“Yeah, you can say that again,” she said with another harsh, humorless laugh. She knew she was being a bitch, but she just didn’t have the energy to care.
“I know,” Jagger said softly, stepping a little closer to her and dropping his voice when he spoke again. “Look, I know you’ve been through so much lately. It’s not fair. You deserve better.”
Abby could feel herself glaring at him, incapable of softening her eyes even if she wanted to.
Jagger kept talking. “I know you want to help, but it’ll go better if you let me handle things. I’m a professional. I know what I’m doing here.”
Abby clicked her teeth and laughed a little, but it came out more like a frustrated huff of air. “Yeah, right. And that’s why there have been a dozen fires now, and you still haven’t found the guy who did it.”
Silence fell between them, the air crackling with the weight of what Abby had just said. She kept her eyes trained on Jagger’s, refusing to look away or show any sign of weakness, preventing herself from even blinking once. Jagger returned the action, staring deeply into her eyes, his expression stony and unreadable. Abby wondered if she finally crossed a line and used up all Jagger’s patience with her. She knew she wasn’t easy to even tolerate, let alone be kind to, when she was pissed off. She wasn’t always this way. Back in the day she was nice to everyone, not just her patients. After she got sick and especially after the debacle with her ex, she just didn’t have the ability to be compassionate and sweet and light anymore. It had been taken from her, just like her money, just like her favorite patient, just like her home. She had nothing left except her anger, and she was going to use it as well as she could.
Jagger finally tore his eyes away from her, looking back at the burned apartment building. “You’re right,” he said a moment later, still not looking at her. “I have fucked up. I should have handled this by now. I know things about this guy that I didn’t before. He fucked up somewhere, and he knows it. If he hadn’t…” Jagger trailed off for a second, sighing deeply. He sounded so tired that Abby felt a little glimmer of sympathy for him spark up in her mind before she shut it down, not wanting to feel anything but the hard bitterness that kept her going. “If he hadn’t targeted you, I wouldn’t know anything about him, except that he apparently hates Satan’s Blazes. Robert must have known the guy, known him pretty well, to figure out where you lived. Even if he’s just been following you around since the fire at Bobby’s place, it tells me something. He’s invested in you because you’re invested in Robert. That means the arsonist had a special thing for Robert that he didn’t for the rest of the victims.”
“Murderer,” Abby said softly.
“What?” Jagger asked, turning to look at her again in confusion.
“You keep calling him the arsonist. He’s more than that now. He’s a murderer. He killed Robert. I know it. You know it. It’s the truth,” she said, her voice quiet and sad. She couldn’t bring herself to be scary and tough, not when it came to Robert.
Jagger nodded again, frowning deeply. “You’re right. He’s a murderer. And I’ll find him. I promise. I swear to you, Abby.”
Abby cleared her throat, willing all the emotion in her body to go away. “Okay,” she said, barely above a whisper. “Okay, do it, then. Please just do it. Find the guy.”
Jagger smiled then, sadly but genuinely, his eyes lit up for a second before dimming again. “Just do me a favor, okay? Stay out of it. Please. I can’t do my best possible work on this if I’m worried about your safety. Just stay at the compound and you’ll be safe.”
Abby suppressed a groan, instead burying her head in her hands, staring at Jagger only through the cracks between her fingers. She couldn’t understand why Jagger was being this way. Maybe he thought he was being a gentleman, treating her like fragile goods, but she just felt insulted. At this point, however, she’d yelled at him so many times for it that it was clear that approach wasn’t going to work. It was evident that there was no way he was just going to back down from this and trust her enough to include her in the investigation.
Abby couldn’t help but think that if he was going to treat her like a toddler, she might as well act like one and stamp her feet until he gave in and did what she wanted. She figured that wouldn’t work on him. He was determined. Well, Abby was determined, too, and she wasn’t going to be shut down that easily. She’d save her energy for where it counted, though.
So, for tonight, she allowed Jagger to usher her into his car, sitting passively in the passenger seat and staring out the window toward the smokestack that used to be her home. It wasn’t everything to her. It was honestly a pretty shitty place, but it was what she could afford. It was what she had worked for, to have a little slice of independence, a space of her own, a life of her own. And it was taken away. There was no way she was just going to sit back and let Jagger handle the whole situation. No way in hell. But she’d have to be smart about it. She stayed silent the entire ride back to Satan’s Blazes’ clubhouse, getting out of the car when Jagger did and slowly following him wherever he went. Letting him think he’d talked her into being obedient. Things were easier that way.
“You should get some sleep,” Jagger said as they walked back
into the compound, heading up toward Abby’s temporary room. The sun had started to rise outside, sending orange streaks of light streaming onto the bed. It was so tempting that it was almost seductive, the idea of cuddling up to her blankets and pillows and allowing the sweet warmth of dawn to wash over her.
“Yeah,” Abby agreed, sitting down on the bed and taking her shoes and socks off, stretching her body out like she was preparing to sink back into sleep. “I guess I should call into work tomorrow and tell my patients I can’t see them for a while.”
Jagger nodded quickly, his head moving so fast up and down that Abby wondered if it was about to pop off his neck and fly across the room. What an eager puppy, she thought to herself. It was almost cute. “Yeah, yeah, that’s a good idea. That’s what you should do. Just stay put and everybody will be safe.”
Yeah, right, Abby thought, but she nodded back at him, biting her lip and feeling guilty about her decision. Regardless of the feelings eating away at her, she’d never felt so certain about anything in her life. She was going to sneak out of here as soon as the opportunity arose. Jagger was being too difficult, so she’d have to find a way to work around him. Abby figured it was easier to lie to him than waste any more energy trying to convince him. It had become obvious that he was a lost cause.
“Sleep well,” Jagger said as he backed up, heading for the door. “Please let me know if you need anything. Or if I’m not around, you can ask Tony. You can trust him. He’s a good guy, and he’ll take care of you when I’m not around.”
Abby bristled at that phrase. “Take care of me?” As fucking if, she thought. Nobody had ever taken care of Abby unless they were paid to do it. Her time in the cancer ward as a teenager taught her that much. She quickly decided not to show any of her frustration to Jagger. He couldn’t be trusted to deal with the reality of the situation. She would have to treat him the same way she treated her problematic patients, the ones who couldn’t handle the truth about what she was going to do to help them. She would help Jagger the same way, take away the burden of handling the arsons on his own— But first, she had to get out of there. She had to take care of her patients. There was no other option.
“When are you going to work?” Abby asked as innocently as possible, stuffing her face into a pillow and yawning as though exhaustion was overtaking her. “Just wondering when I should look for Tony rather than you.”
“Basically… now,” Jagger said, looking briefly at his watch. “I have to be on call at the fire station for the next 24 hours. I’ll sleep over there.”
“Jesus,” Abby said. “And I thought my 12-hour shifts were rough.”
Jagger laughed a little, giving her the first happy-looking smile that she’d seen in over a day at this point. “I’m pretty sure your job is a lot harder, trust me. I’ll end up playing cards with the boys for most of the time.” He cleared his throat and smiled at her again, but this time sadness slipped back into his eyes. “Get some sleep, okay? You deserve it.”
“Will do,” Abby promised, clenching her teeth behind her lips as soon as the words left her mouth. Somehow, despite everything, directly lying made her feel a little sick. Honesty just came more naturally to her, probably causing a lot of her problems. She was usually a little too blunt, avoiding saying anything if she couldn’t afford to tell the truth. But desperate times called for desperate measures, right? Jagger had left her with no other choice.
“Goodnight, Abby,” Jagger said as he finally stepped back through her door and shut it behind him, leaving her alone in the bedroom. She exhaled heavily and pressed her head back into the pillow, allowing her muscles to relax for just a second before sitting up in bed. All her muscles were tense as she listened to Jagger’s steps receding down the hallway and down the stairs. So, he really was leaving. That meant it was show time for Abby.
Abby quickly assessed her options, looking around her room for tools to use for her mission. She could jump out of the window and scale down the wall, staying close to the building until she was sure Jagger was gone. Then how could she get off the acre of land that stood between her and the rest of civilization? She didn’t have a car, and it wasn’t like she knew how to steal one. Of course, that was a ridiculously stupid idea anyway. The MC members would hunt her down like a rat if she stole anything from them.
She groaned to herself and stood up, beginning to pace around her room in circles. How the hell was she going to accomplish this? She needed someone to give her a ride, but it wasn’t like there was anybody she could call. Maybe she could call a cab, but that might garner unnecessary attention. She didn’t want the whole club to notice she was leaving and alert Jagger to her motives. Abby knew he would jump right away at the chance to ruin her plan. Dammit. What am I going to do? She was positive that she wasn’t going to get out of this compound without some help.
Anyway, maybe Jagger had a point, right? Someone must be tailing her, at least enough to figure out where she lived. So, she was in some degree of danger, even if Jagger was exaggerating the stakes of the situation. It was safer if she brought someone with her. But who?
The answer hit her all at once, the way all clever ideas presented themselves to Abby. Tony. He’d driven her to her apartment before, and she could tell that he was exactly what she needed. He was a grumbly, impatient fellow, as far as she could tell from spending twenty minutes with him in the car, but he was also the strong and silent type. Tony was Jagger’s immediate inferior, maybe even his assistant or an overly loyal best friend. He was also huge, a hulking mass of muscles and tattoos. Abby knew what to do. She reached down and put her socks and shoes back on, rushing out of her room and across the hall to where she knew Tony was staying.
He was asleep in a chair, his head slumped against the wall, frowning as he dreamed. Abby carefully walked over to him, shutting the door behind her so that anyone else awake in the compound wouldn’t overhear the following exchange. “Tony, Tony,” she whispered as she shook him by his shoulder. “Tony, wake up, please, I need you.”
Tony twitched awake like a kitten. “Hm? What?” he mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes before even opening them.
“Jagger needs you to take me to my appointments. He’s working today,” she said, keeping her voice as steady and casual as possible. “Please, Tony, I need to meet with my patients.”
Tony groaned and rubbed his forehead. “Jesus,” he mumbled.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I keep waking you up. But I only have three or four appointments to make today, and then I’ll shut up and leave you to sleep, I promise,” Abby swore, meaning every word. She felt pretty guilty, manipulating this poor guy, but she had to do what she had to do. Her patients needed her.
Tony was quiet a moment, holding his head still in his hands and breathing deeply. For a second Abby was afraid that he had just fallen back asleep before he finally spoke again. “How long’s it going to take?” he mumbled.
“Five hours, six tops,” Abby rushed to answer, ignoring the grimace that crossed Tony’s face in response. “I’ll be as quick as ever, I swear.”
“Okay, okay,” Tony finally said. “But I’m sleeping in the car while you visit them.” He got to his feet, stumbling a little as he crossed the room to grab his car keys off the dresser. “Let’s go.”
# # #
Jagger
Jagger struggled to keep his eyes open on the ride home, blinking furiously to stay awake. He was usually better at staying alert on his long shifts, but things had been so stressful lately, they weighed him down. Too fucking bad, he said to himself. Toughen the fuck up. People are depending on you. He straightened up in his seat as he took the last turn to Satan’s Blazes’ compound. He breathed a sigh of relief as he parked his car and got out, stretching his wound-up body in every direction imaginable. He was finally going to get some well-deserved rest. Jagger was going to need it if he was going to find the arsonist that was targeting Abby.
He waved politely at various MC members on his way through the first floor
of the clubhouse, but he didn’t have the energy to engage with them. In the back of his mind, Jagger wondered if he was starting to annoy people with how distant he’d been. It was affecting his work. He used to hang out with the other firefighters after his shifts, getting drinks and talking about their personal lives, but now he was so focused on the investigation that he’d lost touch with people even though he still saw them every day. Still, he couldn’t let himself be bothered by that. He was willing to sacrifice his personal relationships if it meant finding the fucker who was targeting Satan’s Blazes. They were his family, after all. He had to protect them.
Jagger quickly scaled the steps to the second level of the clubhouse, rounding the corner to Abby’s room. The door was shut and locked, but Jagger had a key. He slowly stuck the key into the lock and opened the door gently, trying not to make any noise in case Abby was asleep. But when he opened it up she was sitting on her bed, staring at a pile of papers. Jagger didn’t have time to ask what she was doing before she leapt to her feet, fire burning in her eyes. “What the hell? I know I locked that.”
“Yeah, I have a key,” Jagger said.
Abby huffed out a humorless laugh, stepping closer to Jagger. “What? And you think that’s okay? Give it to me.”