by A. P. Watson
His hands wrapped around mine as he leaned across the table. The touch was so simple, but the second our skin met, my trembling ceased. “I’ve really missed coming here with you too.”
I nodded, desperately absorbing every syllable he uttered. “So, how is David doing? It’s been a week since I’ve been over to see him.”
“He looks great, and I’m so glad he is back in his home,” he replied.
“Me too.”
Jacks topped off his wine glass. “He says you’ve been visiting every few days or so and dropping off food.”
I shrugged like it was no big deal. “You know I love to cook, and David seems to enjoy my company.”
“Enjoy?” Jacks repeated with a laugh. “He told me after a few glasses of brandy that he wishes he’d been born a few decades later.”
I shook my head. It was all too easy to imagine David spitting out that statement. “I believe it, that sly old dog.”
“You know, he was absolutely over the moon with my grandmother, and he certainly thinks the world of you. I think you remind him of her.”
“Well, I’m honored he feels that way,” I replied. “And I love going to visit him, because he has the best stories.”
“Did he tell you about Woodstock?”
“It was like my mind was exploding from all the awesomeness!”
“That’s exactly how I felt when he told me about it! I mean, I can’t even begin to imagine how incredible it was to be surrounded by so much life-altering music.”
“If we only had a time machine.”
“If only,” he whispered.
I finished every morsel on my plate, and noticed Jacks had barely touched his meal. He was way too skinny, but despite the fact, things felt normal. It was like before, when our friendship was the only defining relationship we possessed. And eventually, time began to slip away. Moments like this were the ones I missed the most. The ones I remembered late at night, the ones I cried over. The acceptance I found with Jacks was impossible to forget. I’d bared my deepest secrets to him, and he cherished each confession.
The sound of my phone ringing disrupted our conversation.
“Shit,” I muttered, reading Kenneth’s name as it flashed across the screen. Somehow, I had lost track of time. It was already 7:35, five minutes after my date with Kenneth was supposed to start.
“What is it?” Jacks asked.
“I’m late.” I rifled through my purse, grabbing a wad of cash. I stood quickly, almost knocking over my chair as I answered Kenneth’s call. “Hey.”
“You’re still coming, right?” Kenneth asked.
“Yeah, of course. I’m running a little behind, and I’m so sorry,” I explained, my voice sounding every bit as guilty as I felt.
“Not a big deal. I’m just glad you’re on your way.”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Okay, good. So I’ll see you soon?”
“I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“Can’t wait.”
“Bye,” I said, ending the call.
“Was that your date?” Jacks asked.
“Yeah. I hate to run out, but I’m already late.”
“It’s no problem,” he said, standing from his chair.
I threw my phone back into my purse as Jacks moved behind me, holding up my coat. “Thank you.”
“It’s no trouble at all.”
My fingers fastened the buttons in a rush, and I glanced down just to make sure I hadn’t missed one. Flinging my purse over my shoulder, I spun around to face Jacks. “Thank you for dinner.” I squeezed the cash in my hand, leaning toward him.
“Thanks for agreeing to come.”
I kissed his cheek at the exact same time he kissed mine. The double gesture was a surprise, and I quickly shoved the cash in the pocket of his slacks before he had a chance to realize what I was doing.
“Bye,” I whispered.
“Night.”
With a final wave, I raced out of Monteverde and practically sprinted down the street. Thank God Talay Chicago was within walking distance. My heels clacked against the concrete as I quickly weaved through the crowds.
I made it to the restaurant in a matter of minutes, and by the time the hostess led me to the table where Kenneth was waiting, only ten minutes had passed.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, sucking in a deep breath.
He stood at my arrival, rounding the table. “Did you run here?”
“Kinda.”
“You’re not that late.”
“I didn’t want to make you wait any longer!” I peeled off my coat and then gave him a quick hug.
“Believe me, you’re worth the wait,” he stated, his cheeks flushing as he assessed my outfit.
“One of these days, you’re going to have to stop blushing every time you look at me,” I teased.
He pulled out my chair for me, motioning for me to sit. “I’ll work on it.”
I returned his smile. “Good.”
“So, did you get caught in traffic or something?”
“No, I was actually with a friend at Monteverde.”
“Oh, okay.”
“He and I were planning an engagement party for Terayn and Ryan, and time just slipped away from me.”
“Well, I hope you guys made a lot of progress with the party planning.”
“We did.” I picked up the menu in front of me. I wasn’t even remotely hungry after gorging myself on pasta, but I wasn’t about to tell Kenneth that.
“What’s his name?”
“Huh?” I asked, glancing up from my menu.
“Your friend. What’s his name?”
“Oh, it’s Jackson.”
He dropped his gaze to the menu in his hands. “I’m sure it will be a nice party.”
“I hope so.”
“I ordered a bottle of Riesling. I hope that’s okay.”
“It’s perfect!”
I glanced around, trying to get a feel for my surroundings. I had been so quick to get to the restaurant, I hadn’t even taken a moment to observe it. Bricks lined every wall, and a long sushi bar cut across the back of the building. The lighting was dim and intimate, and the steam coming from dishes on nearby tables smelled like heaven.
Our waiter appeared while we were reading the menus and poured the wine Kenneth had ordered. I accepted the glass graciously, thankful to have something to drink. After sprinting all the way from Monteverde, I was parched.
“Are the two of you ready to order?” our waiter asked.
I nodded in answer to his question. “I am. Kenneth, are you?”
“Yeah. Wren, you can order first.”
“I’ll have the Mongolian Beef and I’d like a glass of ice water as well.”
“And for you?” he asked, turning to face Kenneth.
“The Pad Saparot combo.”
“Excellent.” The waiter scribbled both of our orders on a small pad of paper before turning on his heel and heading in the direction of the kitchen.
“I’m such a dick,” Kenneth mumbled, surprising me.
My head snapped in his direction. “Why do you say that?”
“Because I haven’t told you how amazing you look.”
I rolled my eyes slightly. “You blushed almost as soon as you saw me. I took that as a compliment.”
“I know, but I also wanted you to hear me say it.” He held out his hand to me, and I placed mine on top of his palm. “Wren, you’re gorgeous.”
Now it was my turn to blush. “Thank you.” It was easy to tell Kenneth meant what he’d said, because his gaze slowly raked down my face before stopping at my lips. It was the type of look that made confidence radiate from the inside out. Last year, I would’ve said I only received it while working at The Peel. But that reality changed the moment I met Jacks, because his eyes made you want to cater to every whim and desire he had.
“You’re welcome. And I’d like to make a toast,” Kenneth said, holding his glass in the air. “To second dates
.”
I clinked the glass of water our waiter had just dropped off against his wine, smiling. “Second dates.”
“I’m going to have to learn your work schedule so that I can ask you on another date.”
“Is that so?” I asked playfully.
He took a sip of wine and nodded. “Oh, absolutely.”
“And what if I don’t want you tracking me?”
“Too late for that. I’m already taken with you.”
“You’re sweet. And this upcoming week, I’m working tomorrow, Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights.”
“So, you’re free next weekend?”
“Just Sunday night. The engagement party is on Saturday, and I’m going to be getting everything ready on Friday night.”
“Oh, okay.” He ran a hand through his hair, disrupting the short locks. “Well, I’ll just have to see you on Tuesday and Sunday night then.”
“Sounds good to me.”
For the second time that night, I gorged myself on delicious food. The cuisine and company at Talay Chicago proved to be just as wonderful as at Monteverde, but in the deep crevices of my mind, a voice kept reminding me that there was a not-so-slight difference. I desperately tried to dismiss the voice. It all boiled down to time. That was the only true difference. The effortlessness I experienced with Jacks would also happen with Kenneth. I simply needed to allow things to happen naturally. One day, I would flow into him as easily as I had Jacks, and when that day came, the tether would cease to exist.
chapter seven
fragile
WARMTH FROM KENNETH’S HAND spread to mine as we walked down the sidewalk. I barely sipped on the Riesling Kenneth ordered, so I was still good to drive home. Color me surprised when I realized not getting drunk on your first few dates was actually an intelligent decision. Not that I’d ever been too fond of making those anyway.
“I had a wonderful time,” he whispered, tightly squeezing my hand.
“I did too.”
We crossed the street together and reached my car in a few short steps.
“Okay, so I have to ask you something.”
“Alright, shoot.”
“Can I just sit behind the wheel of your car and look at it?”
I laughed at his request. A man who could appreciate a beautiful car always got extra points in my book. “Of course,” I answered, handing him the keys.
Kenneth looked like a kid in a candy store as he slid behind the steering wheel. “Wow,” he breathed. His fingers delicately rubbed the leather seat. “It’s immaculate. Whoever had her before you did an incredible job maintaining her.”
“Actually, the frame was practically rotted out when she was bought.”
“So, your car was rebuilt?”
“Yep.”
“Damn.” His eyes surveyed the dashboard, meticulously inspecting the updated stereo system. “Whoever worked on this car was worth every penny spent. It’s simply perfect.”
My heart swelled with pride at his compliment. It was a perfect car, but the pride I felt was for Jacks. No detail had escaped his attention while he restored this car. All his effort and tireless work had been for me. “Thank you.”
Kenneth glanced at the interior a final time before exiting. “Did you pick the paint color? Because it’s almost the exact shade of copper as your hair.”
“No. Jacks picked that out.”
Confusion etched itself along Kenneth’s forehead “Jacks?”
“My friend, Jackson.”
“Oh, the one you were planning the engagement party with?”
“Yeah. He rebuilt the car for me.”
“Damn.”
“He worked as a mechanic while he was in school, so he’s worked on a ton of cars.”
“Well, my hat is off to him. He did an excellent job.”
“I’ll be sure to pass along your compliments the next time I see him.”
He nodded in reply, his fingers motioning for me to step forward. Once I was close enough, his hands curled around my waist. When his face approached mine, my heart stilled inside my chest. Sinus tachycardia was nowhere to be found. “May I?” he breathed, his attention falling to my lips.
“Yes.”
His mouth claimed mine, warming it in the freezing Chicago night. At first, the kiss was chaste, but as it continued, his need increased. I reciprocated his movements and opened my lips to him. The space between our bodies lessened as his hold on me tightened. This was the first time I had been caught in such an embrace in months. The feel of it was almost foreign, and I poured myself into the gesture, desperately hoping for some kind of escape.
“Wow,” Kenneth muttered as we parted from one another.
“Yeah.”
He smiled, bending forward once more. “May I?”
“Are you going to ask for permission every time?” I asked, teasing him.
He peppered my lips with kisses. “Maybe.”
“It’s cute.”
“Glad you like it.” The ends of his fingers tipped my chin upward, and he claimed my mouth again. This time, his lips moved with urgency, and my own were quick to mirror them.
After a while, we eventually parted. I needed things to remain simple, and if we kept kissing, that road would only lead to a slew of complications I wasn’t ready to face. “I really had a wonderful time tonight,” I whispered.
“Me too.” He placed a final peck on my lips, smiling wildly. “Until Tuesday?”
“Tuesday.” I waved, sliding behind the steering wheel of my car.
He waved as he walked backward toward the other side of the street, watching until Harlow and I were nothing more than lights in the distance.
By the time I was climbing the steps of the townhouse, I was exhausted. Spending time with two men in a single evening was more mentally taxing than I expected. Although, I supposed I really had no reason to complain, considering I was having dinner by myself last week. That always seemed to be the way the world worked. It was either feast or famine. There was no sparkling area in between.
I locked the door behind me and let out a deep sigh. The apartment was empty because Ter and Ryan were having a date night, so I didn’t expect them to return until late in the night. My body ached from the three consecutive pole classes I decided to take yesterday. When I was stripping, my body always ached and was covered in bruises, but I preferred it that way. Every mark, every tender muscle was a badge of honor. And when I added them all together, it meant I was finally able to climb out of the pit Liam threw me in.
I trudged through the living room, made a pit stop in the kitchen for a bottle of water, and then carried it and my phone into the bathroom. I lit a few candles, scattering them along the vanity, and dimmed the lights. While the tub filled with steaming water and bubbles, I checked my phone to see if Kenneth had texted me.
He hadn’t. But Jacks had.
Jacks: That was a devious move you pulled.
Confusion filtered through my body as I read his message. Was he referring to my date with Kenneth? Because I was pretty upfront about the fact I had a date.
Me: Huh?
Jacks: You slid a wad of cash in my pocket right before you left Monteverde.
Me: It was the only way I could pay for my food! You wouldn’t let me pay otherwise.
Jacks: Of course I don’t want you to pay. Seeing you was my treat.
Me: Even if all you ever comment on is how I’m going to cause your death?
Jacks: Yep.
Me: Whatever.
Jacks: How did you manage to do it without me noticing? I didn’t even find the money until I got home.
Me: I’ve had enough cash stashed in my clothes to know how to do it properly.
Jacks: Not that I’m complaining, but my mind isn’t really equipped to handle that kind of visual.
I giggled at his reply.
Jacks: It’s like you have absolutely no concern for my well-being.
Me: What? I’m a nurse. Compassion is my game.
Jacks: I’ll be sure to relay your sentiments to my doctor the next time I see him.
Me: I’d appreciate that.
Jacks: So, it wasn’t as terrible as you thought, right?
Me: What do you mean?
Jacks: Seeing me.
Me: It felt like it used to.
Jacks: Yeah . . . it did.
I slid into the tub, contentment washing over every inch of my body as the water soothed my aching muscles.
Jacks: I want you to know that I’m still me, and I’ll always be here. Whatever you need.
Me: Thanks.
Jacks: I should be the one thanking you. I can’t stop listening to the CD you gave me.
Me: Their voices are amazing, right?
Jacks: Yes. You’ve always had impeccable taste.
Me: True.
I should’ve been texting Kenneth, not Jacks, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. The thought of having my best friend back was a relief. I had Ter, and she was like family to me. But she also had Ryan. Their connection was incomparable, and that was how I felt about Jacks. Our connection was instantaneous, and clearly, neither one of us knew how to let it end.
Me: You haven’t been sleeping well, have you?
Jacks: Nope. Not for a long time.
Me: I thought so.
Jacks: Are you subtly trying to tell me that I look like shit?
Me: I mean, you do still have your puny chest.
Jacks: You know what happened the last time you insulted my chest.
Me: Bring it.
Jacks: You’ll be eating those words, chipmunk.
Me: Doubtful.
This playful banter was something Jacks and I excelled at. It made me want to renew our friendship. He was miserable, and deep down, I knew I was the same. We’d been apart for months, yet neither of us had managed to move on. All I knew was that I was tired of being unhappy. Sure, rock bottom held no illusions of a perfect ending, but there had to be a solution to end this hell I’d been living in. And I wasn’t completely certain Kenneth could be my solution.
I was heartbeats away from asking him to come over when caution prevailed. This was exactly the type of situation I feared. One meeting with Jacks and I was ready to trace that tether right back to him. My mind hoped we could be friends again. If I could trust him with my deepest secrets and flaws, then I could surely trust him to not hurt me again, right? But the logic behind that line of reasoning wasn’t so sound. I thought I had already been conflicted about talking to him and then seeing him, but in this moment, I was even more confused about which path I should take.