by A. P. Watson
My fingertips played with the hem of my sweater. I sucked in a deep breath to calm my nerves. Revealing my past and the things I’ve tried so hard to ignore wasn’t easy for me. It never would be, but if Kenneth and I were going to be together, he needed to know about this part of my life. “There is a reason I’m so guarded.”
“I thought so.” His hands covered mine, and the warmth transferring from his flesh to mine was like an injection of comfort to my system.
“When I was in college, I had a boyfriend who treated me horribly. He nearly ran me into financial ruin. I worked and studied while he sat at home doing nothing. I made excuses for him and gave him second chances to get another job and get his act together, but one day, I caught him sleeping with his ex-girlfriend. As you can imagine, I was devastated.” Kenneth’s pale eyes locked onto mine, and I could tell I held his undivided attention. “And if that wasn’t enough, I discovered after I broke up with him that he had taken several credit cards out in my name. There was so much debt that I almost had to file for bankruptcy, but I eventually found a way out.”
“How?”
“Originally, I worked as a patient tech at the hospital. I worked twelve-hour shifts most nights of the week. I balanced work and school, nearly driving myself to the brink of exhaustion just to pay off Liam’s debt. But even working six nights a week, I still felt the burden of the bills piling up.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, leaning closer.
“There’s more.”
He nodded slightly. “Okay.”
My pulse quickened just a bit, and I licked my lips, preparing myself to reveal the truth. “In order to pay off the debt Liam left me with, I switched jobs and began working as a stripper.”
I saw surprise alter his facial features at my confession, but the judgment I was so afraid of never came. “That had to be hard for you.”
“It was. I pushed myself through it though, and I survived entirely on my own.”
“A lesser person wouldn’t have made it.”
I gripped his hands, tightening my hold on him. “I appreciate you saying that.”
“Wren,” he breathed, the tone of his voice lifting my gaze. “I’ve been lucky. I’ve never been through something like that. I’ve never felt that kind of pain, but the things you just told me would never affect my opinion of you.”
My lips barely curled into a smile. “Thank you.”
His mouth barely grazed mine as he leaned in. “And maybe you can dance for me sometime.”
His statement was playful, and I knew he meant to alleviate my uncertainty, but I couldn’t acknowledge it. “There is something else I want to say.”
“Okay.” Kenneth’s breath fanned over my mouth as he spoke.
“I’m not blind. I know my friendship with Jackson concerns you, but it doesn’t need to. He and I are friends, and I could never betray someone like Liam betrayed me. You asked if Jacks and I tried dating, and I told you the truth. We did try, but . . .”
“He hurt you?”
I chewed on my lip as I contemplated what words to say. “Honestly, I think he ended up hurting himself more. His life hasn’t been easy, and it’s hard for him to open up to people.”
“So, the two of you are alike in that regard.”
“Yes.”
“Is that why he gave you that necklace?”
My hand instantly moved to touch the delicate emerald. “It’s part of the reason.”
“And the other part?”
“It’s not my place to say.”
“I see.”
I could quickly tell my reply wasn’t what Kenneth wanted to hear, but it’s the truth. I bared my soul to him, revealed my darkest secrets, and explained my relationship with Jacks. I placed my trust in Kenneth, and at some point, he would have to do the same with me.
“I’ll always tell you the truth,” I whispered.
“Thanks.”
The tension from our conversation slowly faded. We watched a movie I picked out and finished the popcorn and beer. Eventually, the lighthearted mood we had before my confession returned. We laughed, drank, and watched another movie. When he kissed me good night before I left, I knew telling Kenneth had been the right decision. I felt unburdened, and I realized the weight of my secret was heavier than I first suspected. The pressure of his arms as he hugged me instilled relief into my bones. He sympathized with my pain, but . . .
He didn’t understand it.
And in the very back of my mind, I couldn’t help but wonder how long those words would haunt me.
By the time I reached the townhouse, I was spent. Ter and Ryan were still on their honeymoon, so I had the entire place to myself. After soaking in the tub for almost an hour, I changed into a pair of pajamas and crawled into bed.
Even though it was nearing three in the morning, sleep eluded me. I rolled to my right side and exhaled loudly in annoyance. I tried lying on each side and my stomach, but my eyelids never drooped. Defeated, I grabbed my phone and decided to text Jacks. Something in my gut told me he would still be awake too.
Me: You awake?
Within seconds, three dots appeared on the screen, answering my question before Jacks had the chance.
Jacks: Unfortunately.
Me: I’m sorry.
Jacks: I could say the same thing to you.
Me: Where is Ford?
Jacks: Lying in bed next to me, snoring.
Me: That sounds about right.
Jacks: How was your evening with Kenneth?
Me: Good. Just watched a movie.
Jacks: I’m glad you had a nice time.
My fingertips hovered over my screen as I considered what to say, but instead of typing out a reply, I decided to call him.
“Hey,” he said, answering after the first ring.
“Hi.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Oh, yeah. Everything is fine.”
“You know how I feel about that word.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at his reply. “I’m okay. No world wars brewing over here.”
“Good.”
“Are you reading?” I questioned.
“I was.”
“Why did you stop?”
“Because I was getting a phone call,” he teased.
“Oh, right.”
“Do you need something?”
“Yes.”
“What do you need me to do?” His voice was soft, and I knew there was no request I could make that he wouldn’t have done.
“Will you play for me?”
“Of course. Let me grab my guitar.”
“Thank you.”
“Anything for my girl,” he answered.
I knew such simple words shouldn’t affect me, but they did.
“You and David are still coming over tomorrow night for dinner, right?”
“Yeah. We wouldn’t miss it for anything.”
“Good.”
“Any requests?”
“Play something that reminds you of me.”
“Will do.”
Whenever I voiced that request, he always played the same song. This had almost become something of a routine for us. I never slept well because of my hectic work schedule, and Jacks never slept well because his mind wouldn’t let him. So, this is what we did—communicated with each other while the rest of the world slept. The tune he played flowed through the phone and into my ears. After hearing the first note, my body began to relax.
My mind slowed as I listened to him play. The music was soft and beautiful. Eventually, my eyelids grew heavy. Only when he finished the song did I open my mouth to speak.
“Thank you for playing.”
“It’s my pleasure. Do you want me to play it again?” he asked.
“Yeah, just once more please.”
“Okay.”
“You don’t mind, do you?”
“Not at all.”
“Thank you. I can already feel myself getting tired.”
“I’ll keep playing until you
stop talking then.”
“Thanks, Jacks,” I replied softly. “Are you going to be able to fall asleep too?”
“Yeah. Hearing your voice usually does the trick for me.”
“One of these days, you’ll grow tired of talking to me in the middle of the night.”
“I highly doubt it.”
“I really hope you don’t.”
I heard his fingers still on the strings. A second of silence stretched into a long pause. “I promise I’ll never grow tired of talking to you in the middle of the night,” he whispered. “Okay, chipmunk?”
“Okay.”
“Now, let’s see if I can help you fall asleep.”
I sighed heavily, my eyelids growing heavier by the second. “Thanks, babe.”
Panic or unease should have been dispensed throughout my body as I let the word slip again. Perhaps my body was too spent to care, but as I listened to Jacks play, I knew deep down I chose that word because it felt natural. And with the dizzying combination of those thoughts and the serenity of his music, I eventually drifted off to sleep.
The following afternoon, I woke up and immediately headed for the kitchen. After whipping up the filling for chicken pot pie, I lined two dishes with pie crust. Next, I filled each crust and topped both dishes with another layer of dough before placing them in the fridge. Once I finished, I fixed my hair and makeup. Then I threw on a pair of jeans and a sweater to complete my look. Making my way back to the kitchen, I checked the time and noted it wouldn’t be much longer until Jacks and David were here.
I stood in front of the fridge and retrieved a bottle of wine as I answered my mother’s call. Ever since Ter and Ryan’s wedding, she’d been calling me almost daily to ask about Jacks and Kenneth. The woman was anything if not persistent. She believed I was stuck in some kind of tawdry love triangle. I tried to dispel this notion, but I might as well have been speaking to her in Mandarin. She wanted grandchildren, and she was hell-bent on leasing out the uterus of her only child to get them.
“Hey, Momma.”
“Hi, baby. How are you?” Her voice sounded as sweet as sugar over the phone, but I knew she’d get down to pestering me about Jacks within a matter of seconds.
“Good. How are you and Daddy?”
“Oh, we’re just peachy!”
“That’s good.”
“So, what do you have planned for tonight? Are you going to see Jackson?”
“I’m making dinner for David and him at my place. They should be over soon.”
“That’s so nice, baby. He’s such an impressive young man, and my word, he is handsome.”
I fashioned my hand into a fake gun against my head and pulled the imaginary trigger. Honestly, I should put myself out of my misery and get a hysterectomy right now. “Yes, he is. But we’re just friends.”
“He gave you his mother’s necklace,” she leveled.
Yep. Just like I thought.
My eyes narrowed shrewdly. “You’ve been talking to Ter again, haven’t you?”
“What? A mother isn’t allowed to pry into her daughter’s life?”
“Geez Louise, Momma.”
“A man doesn’t give you jewelry that belonged to his mother unless he has feelings for you.”
“We’re best friends. That’s all.”
“And the way you danced together—”
Apparently, everyone had made note of that. Even my dad’s eyes softened when he asked me about Jacks after the wedding. It seemed like, where my family was concerned, my friend resonated more than the man I was currently dating.
“Jacks and I are two people who enjoy dancing. That’s all you saw. A mutual shared interest.”
I could hear her exhale dramatically through the phone. “Baby, I wasn’t born yesterday.”
I opened the wine and chugged an entire glass worth before even attempting to reply. “We aren’t together like that anymore.”
“Okay, baby,” she replied sweetly. “So, Terayn and Ryan fly back tomorrow?”
“Yeah. They should get in tomorrow afternoon. I can’t believe they’ve already been gone for two weeks.” Two weeks of honeymooning in Bali sounded like pure bliss. I’d sign up at the nearest kiosk if one existed. And at that thought, I downed more wine. The sound of the front door unlocking pulled my attention away from the conversation with my mother. Jacks entered the apartment with Ford right on his heels. Immediately, I waved him over. “Well, Jacks just got here, so I should probably let you go, Momma.”
“Oh, he did?”
Jacks lifted a brow as he approached me. I held the phone out to him “Please, save me. I can’t take any more.”
He let out a deep laugh, the sound like audible chocolate. As his hand closed around my phone, I breathed a sigh of relief and returned to the wine. “Mrs. Williams?” he asked. “Yes, I’m well. And how are you?”
Ford nuzzled my leg as I bent to kiss him. “She’s driving me crazy! Besides, who needs a baby when I have you, right?” He responded by licking my cheek, and that was agreement enough for me.
“That is very kind of you. How can I possibly say no?” Jacks asked.
“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath. Whatever they were talking about, it definitely wasn’t good.
In the two weeks Ter and Ryan had been on their honeymoon, Jacks and I had become almost inseparable again. My one stipulation was for things to be like they were before we tried dating. I wanted things to go back to when we were friends who hung out, discussed music, and had brunch together. The only problem was that when Jacks and I were just friends, I craved more. My, how the tables hadn’t turned. I knew if things were going to progress with Kenneth, I wouldn’t be able to spend so much time with Jacks, but I didn’t know how to stop. Kenneth and I were great together, but Jacks was my best friend. For the first time in my life, I wanted to have it all, and damnit, I was sure as hell going to try to make it happen.
“Would you like me to put her back on the phone?” His attention flitted to my face, the corner of his mouth turning upward. “I’ll let her know, and believe me, the pleasure was all mine. Take care.”
He set my phone on the island, standing across from me. “Hold on. I need to prepare for this shit,” I said, taking another swig of wine. “What did she say?”
“She invited me for a visit.”
“Don’t do it, dude. It’s a trap.”
“Your mother was simply being polite.”
I burst into a fit of wine-induced giggles. Thank God in heaven for alcohol. “Oh, that is so not it. You ain’t got the first clue about how deep the rabbit hole goes, darlin’.”
“Is that so?” Mischief flickered in his deep-set eyes. “By all means, enlighten me.”
I pushed the wine toward him. “I think we’re gonna need a bigger bottle to have this conversation.”
His fingers closed around the bottle as he took a drink. “You’re only making me more intrigued.”
“Hells bells.” Gently, I took the emerald pendant between my thumb and finger, finding reassurance in its presence around my neck. “Nope. I’m divulging no more information.”
Jacks rounded the island, approaching me. “Come on, chipmunk. You can tell me.”
“Negative.”
Never one to give up easily, he pushed closer. “Tell me,” he ordered, his breath fanning against my ear. His voice was like a dose of pure kryptonite to my system. No good decisions were ever made when I was three sheets to the wind and Jacks was around.
“You have to promise you won’t treat me like a crazy person, because this shit is coming from my mother, not me.”
“Deal.”
“And just so you know, I’m getting more drunk after I tell you.”
“Okay,” he said with a smile.
Fuck me sideways. He was amused as shit by this conversation.
“My mother practically begged for us to combine our genes and make her a grandbaby.”
His arched eyebrow made its second appearance for the evening a
s he stared me up and down. Based off the way my skin burned, he might as well have doused me in gasoline and set me on fire. “Interesting.” Before I even had a chance to spit out a witty retort, he grabbed my waist and flung me over his shoulder.
“Jacks! Put me down!”
He walked toward the front door, his hand securely holding onto my thighs in spite of my best attempts to pound on his back. “There’s a fertility clinic on Lexington. We wouldn’t want to disappoint your mother, now would we?”
“Always such an ass.”
“Now, chipmunk.”
“Put me down!”
His hand reached forward to turn the knob right as the door flung open, revealing David.
“I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” he inquired, his tone full of mirth.
“Not at all,” I replied, still suspended over Jacks’s shoulder. “We were just about to start cooking.”
“Yep, putting the buns, I mean rolls, in the oven and whatnot,” Jacks added.
I pinched him as hard as I could, but it didn’t even faze him. Thankfully, he set me back on the ground and closed the door behind David. Ford immediately rushed forward, wanting to be acknowledged by the newest member of our group.
“So, how are you doing?” I asked, motioning David toward the barstools in the kitchen.
“Excellent.”
“Good!” I slid my arm around his neck, hugging him tight. “I’m glad both of y’all could come over tonight.”
David beamed. “Me too.”
My body was replaced by Jacks’s as he moved in to hug his grandfather. I stepped around the end of the island and grabbed the pie dishes out of the fridge.
“Is that what we’re eating?” Jacks asked with a groan, practically salivating over the food I held.
“Yep.” I set the oven to preheat and then placed the pie dishes on top of the stove as I waited for the oven to heat up.
“Is that the famous chicken pot pie I’ve heard so much about?”
“Yes,” I said, answering David’s question.
“It’s one of the best things I’ve ever tasted in my life,” Jacks added with a wink toward me. He poured the rest of the wine in a glass for me and moved to retrieve another bottle from the fridge. “Thought this might help with your earlier promise.”
A blush crept up my neck, settling in the apples of my cheeks. “Thank you. It’s much appreciated.”