by A. P. Watson
“Oh.”
“You can say that again.”
“Some pair we are,” I quipped.
“I think that sentiment gets truer every time we say it.”
Jacks had certainly hit the nail on the head. But after hearing the secret Ter had whispered in his ear all those months ago, it made sense. We were well on our way to being exactly like Ter and Ryan. And just like my best friends, we’d get there—eventually.
We spent the rest of our Sunday afternoon walking Ford and hanging out at the townhouse. Jacks even began researching flights for our trip. Although he refused my third condition, I made a new one. He had to swear he wouldn’t tell my mother about our trip. There was only so much nagging a girl could take. I had no doubt the woman would ship massage oils and lube to the damn resort we booked. No, I would spare Jacks that humiliation. The fact he knew my mother wanted us to procreate was enough torture.
After Jacks changed clothes at his apartment and we dropped Ford off, we drove to Miller’s. When we set foot inside the dive bar, Robbie was there as always, drying glasses.
“There she is!”
“Robbie!” I cried. “Ter and Ryan should be here soon. You got room for four at the bar?”
“You know I do.” Jacks and I settled onto two barstools while Robbie promptly placed two glass tumblers filled with amber liquid in front of us. “How are you guys?”
“Good,” Jacks replied. “And you?”
“Excellent, especially since my favorite tipper is here.”
I looked between Jacks and Robbie with confusion written across my face. “What the hell are you talking about?” I asked.
Jacks grinned wickedly. “Do you want to tell her or should I?”
“Be my guest,” Robbie answered.
I glanced at Jacks, eager to hear whatever story he was about to spill.
“Well, one of the first nights I was back in Chicago, I decided to go out for a drink. Naturally, I decided to come here, and it just so happened Robbie was tending the bar that night.”
“Okay, and?” I asked, prodding him to continue with the story.
“Robbie told me in order to become a patron of this pub again, I had to leave him a very generous tip.”
I suppressed a giggle, turning to look at Robbie. “Is that true?”
“Every damn word.”
“And how much did you tip him?” I asked.
“A lot.”
“I ran his tab for an even four hundred dollars.”
Whiskey nearly spewed from my lips as I took another sip. “Seriously?”
Robbie crossed his arms over his chest, grinning from ear to ear. “Yep.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“It was worth it,” Jacks added with a shrug. “I enjoy the ambience here.”
“I could’ve gotten more out of you, huh?”
Jacks caught my eye and winked before answering Robbie’s question. “I guess you’ll never know.” Robbie laughed as he refilled our glasses, and then he moved to the end of the bar to talk to a couple of new customers. “He wanted to protect you.” Jacks’s breath tickled my ear as he spoke.
“That was really nice of him.”
“He’s a good guy. I’m glad he was looking out for you.”
“How much would you have paid?”
“Whatever it took.”
I returned his smile, taking another swig of whiskey.
“Wren!”
Ter’s voice sounded from behind me, and I swiveled around to face her.
“Ter!” I jumped off the stool, barreling toward her. “How was your trip?” I asked, flinging my arms around her neck.
“It was amazing! The resort we stayed in was unreal. Honestly, I didn’t want to come home.”
“I bet you didn’t!” Immediately, I moved to hug Ryan. “Hey, Ryan!”
“Hey! How’s everything been in our absence?” he asked, his attention shifting to Jacks.
“Great,” Jacks replied, giving Ter and then Ryan a hug. “So, the honeymoon went well?”
“You have no idea, man. The food, drinks, location, it was all perfect,” Ryan answered.
Ter hooked her arm through mine as we walked back to the bar. She sat to my left and Ryan occupied the seat to Jacks’s right.
Noting Ter and Ryan’s appearance, Robbie returned to our section of the bar. “Hey! How was the honeymoon?” he asked.
“Amazing!” Ter answered, leaning across the bar to give him a quick hug. “If you haven’t been to Bali, you should go. I already want to go back.”
“I’m sure,” Robbie replied, grinning. “So, what can I get you and Ryan?”
“I’ll have a beer.”
“Same for me,” Ryan added.
Robbie grabbed two long necks, placing one in front of each of my friends.
“So, how are things with Sasha?” Ter questioned, smiling deviously.
“Incredible. I’m actually taking her to my sister’s next weekend. She’s going to meet my family.”
“That’s so exciting!” I cried.
“Hopefully, it won’t be a disaster. My family is a bit crazy.”
“Whose isn’t?” I asked.
He nodded, adjusting the thick black frames perched on top of his nose. “True.”
“Don’t worry, Robbie. It will be great. Sasha is crazy about you,” Ter stated.
“Thanks.” Robbie’s gaze shifted toward the end of the bar. A customer had his arm in the air, waving Robbie down. “Well, that’s my cue. I’ll come check on you guys in a few minutes.”
“Thanks!” I called out.
“So,” Ter began, moving close enough for her breath to fan across my hair. “What’s been happening with you and Jackson?”
My head snapped to where he sat beside me. He and Ryan were already engrossed in their own conversation. “You’re lucky they’re preoccupied.”
“Spill it, babe.”
“We’re friends.”
She huffed loudly, her eyes shooting toward the ceiling. “Boring.”
“I gave him the picture.”
“And?”
“He loved it.”
She tossed a strand of hair over her shoulder in triumph. “Of course he did.”
I leaned toward her, dropping my voice. “He also told me what you whispered to him the night Ryan proposed.”
“I meant every word.”
“Yeah, I figured as much,” I quipped.
She took a swig of her beer and shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. “I call ‘em like I see ‘em.”
“I also told Kenneth about my past.”
She stilled at my confession, her eyes growing wide as she looked at me. “Now, that I didn’t see coming.”
“Me neither. It sorta just slipped out.”
“How did he react?”
“He said the things I told him didn’t alter his opinion of me. He sympathized with my past and everything I went through.”
“I sense a ‘but’ coming.”
“But he is very jealous of the friendship Jacks and I have.”
“Yeah, he kind of should be, babe.”
“Ter!”
“Okay, first of all, you have eyes. You know what Kenneth looks like, and you know what Jackson looks like. Kenneth is super cute, don’t get me wrong, but . . . ” her attention briefly shifted to Jackson and her husband before returning to me. “ . . . Jackson looks like he just stepped out of an ad for Gucci. The man belongs on the covers of romance novels.”
“You are so not helpful.”
“I’m sorry, did I say I was done?”
Now it was time for me to roll my eyes. “I need to mentally prepare for this shit.” I snatched my glass off the bar and downed the rest of my whiskey in a single gulp.
“Well, go ahead and have another then ‘cause we’re getting down to business.”
“Fuck.” Like magic, Robbie appeared, pouring more whiskey into my glass. “And this is why you’re the best bartender in the entire city.”<
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“Anything for my best patrons,” Robbie answered with a nod. He briefly checked on Jacks and Ryan before leaving to refill a few pitchers of beer.
“You ready now?” she asked.
I took another sip of whiskey. “Sure.”
“It’s not just the way Jackson looks. It’s about the way the two of you act when you’re around each other. I saw the two of you dancing at my wedding, and I saw the photo you gave him. There is an electricity, a chemistry, between the two of you. You and Kenneth don’t have it. I know he’s nice and you like him, but you can’t force what doesn’t exist.”
I absorbed her words, allowing them to seep into my mind. “I know.”
“Jackson gave you his mother’s necklace.” Her fingers brushed against the pendant hanging from my neck. “This is a tangible piece of his mother. It’s a direct link to his memory of her. I know how special mementos can be.” Her eyes stared directly into mine. Her blue irises shined, the promise of tears imminent. “The fact he gave it to you speaks volumes. More so than what happened all those months ago.”
“David told me that I was it for Jacks,” I whispered.
“Yeah, we all know that, babe. It’s time you allowed yourself to see it too.”
“I need to make a choice.”
“Yeah, you do.”
“I wish it was a simple decision.”
“It is,” she breathed. “You just have to decide what you really want.”
“Shit.” I cradled my head in my hands, pissed at how far I let things go. “I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to grow a pair. I’ll call Kenneth tomorrow and set up a time to talk to him.”
Her fingers gently closed around my wrist. “You were just trying to protect yourself, and Jackson knows that.” Her voice was so low that I strained to hear it. She was right though. Protecting myself was important, but it was time for me to take a chance on something again. Otherwise, I was letting Liam and Elise win.
However, before I could delve any deeper into my thoughts, my barstool moved.
“What the?” I squeaked, jerking to the right.
Jacks’s hand clutched the wood, pulling me closer to him. “I want you sitting next to me.”
“I already was sitting next to you.”
“Maybe I just wanted you closer,” he whispered, his signature grin tugging at his lips.
“You could’ve asked.”
“I know.”
“Always so against using your words.”
“You’ve never seemed to mind.” His fingers released the stool I was sitting on, sliding up the seam of my pants to the exposed strip of skin between my jeans and crop top. My body rolled into him, allowing his arm to wrap around my waist. I inhaled slowly, breathing in his cologne. Hello, sinus tachycardia. My constant fucking companion.
“Hi,” I exhaled.
His hold tightened just barely. “Now I have a better view of those freckles I like so much.”
Staring into his eyes, I finally understood I was a fool to believe Kenneth would ever be anything more than a distraction. And it was high time I put an end to the charade.
chapter nineteen
riddled with holes
OVER A WEEK HAD passed since the reunion with my three best friends at Miller’s. Ter was growing tired of my incessant excuses. She had half a mind to drive me over to Kenneth’s house the day she got back from Bali. I knew dragging it out would only make it harder, but for once, I wasn’t the one delaying things. Kenneth had canceled our plans two different times this week. On both nights, I ended up having dinner with Jacks and David, so I couldn’t exactly say I was disappointed. Kenneth’s work schedule had become as hectic as mine, but I finally managed to talk him into having an early dinner with me on Tuesday.
My plan was for us to eat and then go back to his place. Once there, I would tell him I didn’t want to pursue a romantic relationship any longer. He was a great guy and had been so sweet to me. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. But he deserved to know the truth. He needed to understand things between us wouldn’t be progressing any further. And once I gave myself a few days to adjust, I’d sit down with Jacks to have a long overdue conversation.
“Thank you for switching up your schedule so we could have dinner. I really appreciate it,” I said, glancing over at Kenneth.
He took my hand in his, his attention never leaving the road. “I’m sorry I had to cancel so much. I’ve been wanting to make it up to you.” He tilted the steering wheel to the left, turning us onto the next street.
I took a deep breath to steady my nerves. Kenneth deserved to know my heart wasn’t in this, and I was going to make sure I let him down as gently as possible.
“So, besides hectic, how has work been?”
“Great. My boss just gave me a new region to cover. It’s a little more work, but eventually, I’ll be taking over this new area that has more steady clients, and I’ll be relinquishing my old region to someone else.”
“That’s awesome! Just don’t work too hard. Otherwise, you’ll end up wearing yourself out.”
“Good thing I’ve got the hookup with a nurse,” he replied teasingly. He gave my hand a squeeze, shooting a quick smile in my direction.
“I suppose that is true.” I tried to return his smile, but the gesture felt false.
“Next month, I have another conference to attend, but this time it’s in Charleston.”
“Charleston . . . South Carolina?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“Dang. That’s getting close to my neck of the woods.”
He chuckled, casting me a sideways glance. “It is.”
“Have you ever been?”
“No.”
“It’s beautiful. I’ve been a couple of times and I love it.”
“That’s good to hear, because I was going to see if you wanted to go with me. I was thinking we could spend a few days down there and stay on the beach or something.”
“Oh, that’s so sweet of you.”
Fuck.
The conversation I was planning needed to happen stat. What was I supposed to say? I’m sorry but I can’t, Jacks and I are planning a vacation to Hawaii. If I was in a mess before, it just got bigger.
“I was hoping you would be excited by it.”
“I don’t know what my exact work schedule is, but I know Nate is going on vacation sometime next month and I already offered to work a couple of extra shifts to help out.”
“Just let me know. I have some vacation days stored up. If we have to finagle things to fit around your schedule, that’s fine by me.”
“That’s so sweet of you.”
“We’ll figure it out.”
I nodded if only to keep from punching myself in the face. I was officially the worst. But I’d had to deliver difficult news as a nurse before, so I could go through with this too.
I glanced at Kenneth, and even though we were in the car, he was still managing to stare at me.
“Do I have something on my face?” I asked.
“No. I’m just being dumb.”
“What is it?”
“I was thinking about the confession you made the other night.”
“Oh.”
“The people who got to watch you dance were lucky because, gosh, you’re beautiful.”
“Thank you. You’re so sweet.”
The sound of my phone buzzing pulled my attention away from him. I’d been so engrossed in my own thoughts, I barely heard it. By the time I pulled my phone out of my purse, the buzzing had stopped. I had fifteen missed calls. Five were from Ryan and the other ten were from Ter. What the hell was going on?
I was about to redial Ter when another call came in from her. This time, I answered it immediately.
“Hey, Ter. What’s going on?”
“Where the hell have you been?” she asked, a flurry of emotions evident in her voice.
“Kenneth and I just got done eating. We’re on our way over to his place.”
“Oh my God! I’ve tried to call you so many times. I was starting to panic because I couldn’t get ahold of you. Ryan is beside himself and Jacks—”
My heart seized inside my chest. Anxiety gripped my throat, threatening to suffocate me. “What’s wrong with Jacks? Is he okay?” Tears welled in my eyes as I waited for her to answer my question.
I felt as though an eternity passed before she spoke again. “He’s not good. Ryan and I are with him, but he won’t listen to us.”
“What the fuck is going on, Ter?”
Kenneth’s head snapped in my direction at my tone.
“Oh, babe. I don’t know how to tell you this.”
“If you draw it out any longer, I’m literally going to have a coronary!” I shouted into the phone. “Is Jacks hurt? Is he okay?”
“He’s okay.”
“Then whatever it is, just tell me.”
“It’s David. Jacks got a call from one of his neighbor’s earlier today.”
My heart, which had just been trapped in my esophagus, dropped out of my body altogether. “Tell me.”
“David passed in his sleep last night. They think he had a heart attack.”
“Oh my God.” My hand clamped over my mouth. Heaving breaths filtered into my lungs through my nostrils. This couldn’t be happening. Jacks and I had just had dinner with him three days ago, and he looked great. There was no way he could be dead. “Please, Ter. Tell me it isn’t true.” Tears poured over my cheeks as I prayed for this all to be some kind of sick joke.
“I’m so sorry, babe,” she cried, “but he’s gone.”
“Where is Jacks?”
“We’re at his place now,” she answered. “The moment we brought him back from David’s, he went into a rage. His place is destroyed. The cops came out, but Ryan thankfully was able to talk to them and explain the circumstances. He won’t let Ryan or I near him.”
“I’ll be right there.”
“I think that’s a good idea. He kept asking for you right after the funeral home picked up David’s body, but I couldn’t get ahold of you.”
“I’m on my way. Stay with Jacks until I get there.”
“Okay, babe. Love you.”