Rafe turned away not wanting Gray to see the truth. Fat chance. Gray was like a brother to him and he knew him like a goddamned book.
Grayson shook his head, and drove the knife in further.
“And if you might have done that, then tell me that you didn’t pull back, stop, and push her away without out telling her why. Instead, that you played the ‘I can’t take you card, because I’m an honorable asshole.’”
“Instead of just an asshole? Is that what you’re saying, Gray?”
“She’s vulnerable, Rafe. It’s painful to watch her, and you.”
Rafe shuddered. He’d rarely been ashamed of anything he’d done. But Gray was right. As always. Yeah, he’d seen her face. Hell he was haunted by it. And, yes, he was ashamed of himself.
He put up his hands in surrender. His voice was strained.
“You don’t know the half of it, Gray.”
“You don’t need to paint any pictures, buddy. I’ve seen the way you look at her. We all have.”
Rafe went back to his desk and sunk down in his chair. He pierced his friend with a ragged gaze.
“You do understand, Gray, there’s no way I can be with her. That there never can be anything between Nicki and me.”
“Because of Yuri?”
He shrugged, then remembering, Yuri’s distress, he nodded.
“You might want to talk with Yuri. Tell him how you feel about her. He might surprise you.”
Rafe flinched at the expression on Gray’s face. It was a mix of anger overlaid with compassion. A look that ate at Rafe’s soul. He knew what was coming now. Once again, Gray didn’t disappoint him.
“There’s more to it and you know it, Rafe. Someday, my man, you’re going to have to let go. Let go of what happened. Recognize you’re human, you’re not a god. You can’t prevent all the bad things that evil men do.”
Rafe glared at Gray, certain that his jaw was as rigid as Gray’s. But Grayson pressed on.
“When are you going to stop blaming yourself, refusing to live your life? Hell, to let yourself love someone?”
Rafe reached for his cigarette case. He removed a coffin nail and cupped a match to it. Leaning back in his chair he blew a cloud of smoke in the air. When it cleared and there was no barrier between him and Grayson, he leaned forward and drilled Gray with a molten stare.
“When the twenty–seven young girls I blew up come back to life. That soon enough for you, Gray?”
Chapter 13
Nicki crept down the dark hallway, moving soundlessly in her stocking feet. She’d put her boots in her duffle bag along with several changes of clothes. She planned to send a courier for the rest of her things once she got to Idaho. If she drove all night she’d be close to Cincinnati by daybreak. Then she’d sleep during the day in a rest stop and be ready to drive for at least another fifteen hours. She’d calculated her timing. Going west at least until she got to the Rockies it was better to drive at night. Easier to lose a tail, and no highway patrol to worry about. She could give her Porsche its head. Without a whimper it hit 100 mph. And 110 was an easy push. The thought of all that power taking her far away from the compound was exhilerating.
Five minutes after she hung up with her father, she made her decision. Three hours pounding a bag at the Lifetime Fitness studio in Stroudsburg helped formulate her plan and take the edge off her fury. A ten mile run along the biking trail cemented her determination. Rafe had warned her against the wooded trail at night. She scoffed remembering his concern. She wished someone would attack her. Some unsuspecting asshole would get the shock of his life. It would be the last time he mistook a force of nature for a helpless woman.
Following a quick shower in the fitness center she sat at a back table in the all-night diner where she was sure she wouldn’t run into any of the men out sampling the local wares. On her laptop she banged out a long e-mail to Caleb describing her findings. That was the other, much more important benefit of her ferocious workout: The clues that had been tantalizingly close, had fallen into place. She’d found the connections among the girls. They were still a long way from finding the girls, but at least Nicki had a damn good idea how they might have met. She also laid out a series of nationwide interviews the men would have to do to confirm her findings. The e-mail assuaged at least some of her guilt over leaving. She’d never abandoned a job before, but she knew she was useless in the state she was in. Besides, the idea of leaving before Rafe threw her out was worth it. It fact it was exciting.
She pulled her Porsche alongside the dormitory wing, not willing to chance parking in the garage. Coming in the back way with her lights off she was certain no one would see her enter. She slipped inside, packed her bag and penned a one-line note to Rafe. She planned to put it on his desk where he wouldn’t find it until morning… when she was miles away, out of his grasp forever. She tried the office door but it was locked. She frowned, then shrugged and knelt down to slip the note under the door.
“If that’s for me, you can give it to me now.”
Nicki leapt up, shaking so hard she fell against the door. She looked up to see him standing less than a foot away. Rafe was leaning against the wall. The anger rolling off of him belied his casual pose. A second later he was on top of her trapping her between the door and his powerful body. He grabbed her arm in one hand then reached in his pocket, pulled out a key and unlocked the door. She tried to twist away but his grip was firm. He lifted her off her feet with one hand and planted her inside the office. Locking the door behind him he strode over to his desk and flipped on the lamp.
Nicki leaned against the locked door, certain that she would suffocate. Her ragged breaths were useless. No matter how hard she tried she couldn’t suck enough air in to fill her lungs. She fought waves of dizziness, feeling faint, sick.
Rafe pulled out a chair and motioned to her to sit down.
She shook her head. Instead she reached behind her grabbing for the doorknob to keep from sliding to the floor.
He quirked a brow as if to say suit yourself, then unfolded the single sheet of paper. He read it then nodded. His voice was steely.
“You’re welcome.”
It was the third note she wrote. She discarded the first two. They were longer. She ended up with the single sentence, ‘Thanks for the opportunity’.
Nicki met his gaze. His jaw was rigid, his eyes hooded. Not caring that her voice shook, she said, “I’m leaving here, Rafe.”
He shrugged.
“How are you going to do that, Nicki?”
He reached in his pocket and pulled out a metal object and tossed it on the desk. It was the distributor cap from her Porsche.
She gasped.
A wicked grin tugged at the corner of his mouth.
“I figured it wouldn’t take you more than two minutes to hotwire your car.”
She scoffed. “My record is 23 seconds. What do you take me for? An amateur?”
“Hell, no, Princess. That’s the last thing you are. You’re a pro in more ways than one. But even you can’t make your car run without a distributor cap.”
Anger stiffened her spine. It was invigorating. So much more powerful than fear.
“Give it to me, Rafe.”
His smile broadened.
“Come and get it.”
His cocky grin infuriated her. Taking deep breaths she did her best to contain her anger, focus it. The only way she was going to get out of here was by being calm. Not letting him intimidate her. She wasn’t a prisoner. He couldn’t lock her up. He could strut around like a barnyard rooster, but if she chose to leave she could, and she would. But first she had to get out of this room. Get away from him, from his overwhelming presence. Just for a moment she gave in to his seductive pull. His granite hard jaw, flashing eyes and rigid body all reeked of danger. And sex. What the hell was wrong with her? Even now, just being near him churned up a thousand sensations all of which compromised her ability to think. Turned her knees to rubber.
Determined not to l
et him see her fear, or her confusion, she sneered.
“Do you always prowl the hallway at night looking for prey, someone to intimidate, Rafe?”
“No Princess. I don’t. The only time I resort to prowling at night is to flush out frightened little creatures who won’t show their true faces in daylight.”
Nicki felt the heat flood her cheeks. She stood up straight, no longer needing the wall for support. She didn’t try to hide her anger.
“You arrogant bastard. I am not afraid. Most especially not of you.”
“I see. And yet you snuck back into the compound under the cover of darkness and crept to my office on your little cat feet to put a note under my door. Hmm….”
She broke in.
“Not because I’m afraid of you! Because…because I couldn’t bear to look at you for another moment.”
His voice was soft, silky.
“Or because you knew that if you did, you would not be able to run away.”
“Damn you! I am not running away. I am leaving. Tonight, Rafe. I am leaving tonight.”
His voice was soft, a hammer wrapped in velvet.
“We both know that’s not going to happen, Nicki.”
Nicki’s stomach pitched. She swallowed hard to quiet the rush of sensation his silky words provoked. She closed her eyes to avoid looking at him or at the fact that he likely was right.
“How… how did you know? Know that I was leaving?”
“First, to be clear. You are not leaving. Second, I spoke with your father. He told me that you were unhappy, which I already knew. He was concerned you might try to leave. I assured him that wouldn’t happen.”
Nicki gaped at him, stunned at his arrogance and crushed by her father’s duplicity.
“I…can’t believe my father did that. That he betrayed me, to…to you.”
Her voice trailed away as she struggled with the enormity of her father’s disloyalty.
Rafe frowned. “Nicki, your father is frantic with worry about you. He called me not to betray you but to protect you.”
Nicki exploded.
“Damn you! Damn you both to hell! I don’t need you to protect me. Not him and especially not you! How many times do I have to tell you that I take care of myself?”
Fighting a sob, her voice rose to a shriek, “Don’t you get it? Are you blind? Can’t you see how much I despise you? I…I hate you. And…I am leaving. Now!”
She rushed toward him, her anger propelling her. She knocked him to the side and grabbed for the distributor cap.
Rafe caught her as she flew by, trapping her in his strong arms. It was like wrestling a greased pig and an angry one at that. She was a flurry of arms and legs. She kicked, she bit and would have torn chunks out of his skin if hadn’t contained her hands in one of his. He managed to trap her legs between his. If she got loose, no telling where one of those expert kicks would land.
It took everything he had to contain her writhing, twisting body without hurting her. She was wild with rage. With a fierce twist she broke his grip and shoved against his chest with surprising force.
“Damn you! Goddamn you, Rafe! Let me go. Now!”
He wrapped himself around her, trapping Nicki in the vise of his arms.
“Not going to happen, Princess.”
After a few minutes of shrieks and frantic attempts to free herself, she gave up her fierce struggle, and to his surprise she burst into tears.
He held her tight, murmuring in her ear. “Nicki, Nicki, Nicki. Calm down, baby. It’s okay. I’ve got you now.”
She wailed, “No! I…I don’t want you to hold me, to touch me.”
Even as she spoke she buried her head against his chest. Her wrenching sobs broke his heart and every bit of restraint he had.
He ran his hands over her quivering body breathing in the intoxicating odor of lavender, spice and sweaty woman. He kissed the tears on her cheeks then nuzzled the soft skin below her ear, whispering comforting nonsense words. When she collapsed against him, clinging to him, he shuddered. Damn, he didn’t need his unruly cock rising to full staff to know that he was a goner. There was no way he could resist her. Damnable rogue that he was, he would take this lovely, vulnerable woman. This innocent woman who thought what she felt for him was love. He knew better. What she would know soon. No woman, especially this one, deserved a man like him. A man she’d be wiser to fear than to love.
Chapter 14
“Jesus, Nicki. Your smell. I can’t get enough of it.”
He buried his nose in her hair, drinking up the scent of lavender and lemon. He’d always been sensitive to smells. The ones that made him the man he was. The smell of rot in the place where he was born. The smell of decay in his mother’s wasted body. The mix of alcohol and blood on his father’s lash. The smell of fear, first his own, and then in the men he killed.
But there were also good smells. The pungent odors of roasting meats and spicy lentils served by immigrants from the African Maghreb, caring immigrants who took in the abandoned boy and accepted him as one of their own. Their smells were as varied as their languages. Moroccans, Algerians, Libyans, and Turks—no matter what language they spoke he learned it. Parlaying his polyglot talents and skill with weapons, he became the precocious leader of the most violent gang the Paris banlieues had seen.
He’d smelled death from the moment he was born. But he’d never known how varied it could smell, until Yuri helped him lie his way into the Army Rangers at the age of sixteen. Death from Rwandan genocide smelled different than mowed down rebels in Somalia. Rape victims in Bosnia didn’t smell like the corpses of stoned women in Afghanistan. And nothing, nothing smelled like bodies burned to death in a violent explosion.
But from the time he first smelled her, he knew Nicki’s smell was the one he’d sought all his life. Warm, spicy sweet and musky, it took his breath away. It was intoxicating, consuming. He had to have more. He wanted to smell all of her, her hair, the soft skin of her plump breasts and the hidden places between her thighs that beckoned him.
He forced himself to focus on her anguish, anything to tamp down his lust. Swiping at the tears trickling down her cheeks, he shook his head.
“Damn, Nicki. Do you know I’ve never seen you cry? I’ve seen you happy, and sad, and furious, but I’ve never seen you cry. You’re breaking my heart, Princess.”
Nicki gazed up at him, her tear streaked face was flushed, her voice pleading.
“Please, Rafe, let me go. I have to leave. My father’s wrong. He’s always been overprotective. But I can’t stay here…with you. Not after what I did.”
“Sorry, Princess. That’s not an option. And, Nicki, this is not about your father. It’s about you and me, and my rules.”
He ignored her when she bristled.
“You can’t do what you did today. Leave without telling anyone where you’re going. No one knew where you were. That’s not acceptable. As for what happened with Katya, Grayson told me that you saw Katya and me together and misunderstood.”
She flushed a brighter pink and ducked her head trying to wriggle out of his grasp.
Seeing her embarrassment he added with a grin, “Hey Princess. C’mon. What guy doesn’t like idea of a hot chick fighting over him? Hell, it’s flattering.”
Pressing her hands against his chest, still trying to twist out of his arms, Nicki’s eyes narrowed.
“You are the most arrogant man I’ve ever met. Let go of me. Now, Rafe!”
He pulled her up close to him and nuzzled her cheek.
“We’ve already established that I am an arrogant asshole, Princess. What we haven’t agreed to is that you understand that you aren’t going anywhere unless I say you are. Once we agree on that, I’ll consider letting you go.” He nipped lightly at her earlobe giving a low chuckle when she jumped.
“On the other hand, now that I have you in my arms I’m thinking this is where I want you. And if that little gasp I heard is confirmation, this is where you want to be.”
He drew
a lazy pattern of circles on her throat with his tongue, licking the sensitive skin. She tasted as intoxicating as she smelled. He fought and lost the effort not to groan when she shivered in response to his tender assault.
“Hell, Nicki. You taste as sweet as you smell. What am I going to do with you, Princess? You’re driving me crazy, baby.”
And she was. He was seconds away from kissing her. Parting those puffy lips, swollen from her nervous bites. Then what? He’d stop? That would be enough? Or would he do what he’d done to her the other night? Live up to Grayson’s cutting description of a scoundrel? Drive them both to the edge of desire, then pull back? Remembering the devastation he’d caused, he knew he had to stop. At that moment she whimpered a soft yielding sound. Or not.
Nicki was stunned. Oh God, this couldn’t be happening again. But it was. She was in Rafe’s arms and he was whispering soft crooning words. Words that sent shivers of desire from her breasts to her core and back to her hardening nipples. She fought to remember the pain she felt when he’d pushed her away. To hear his crushing words. You’re not the kind of woman I fuck, Nicki. But it was no use. Here, now with his wicked tongue wakening receptive nerve endings, she was helpless to resist him.
All of her plans to leave, her anguish at hurting Katya, the angry conversation with her father—none of it mattered. At least for now. At this moment she could think of only one thing. If Rafe didn’t make love to her now, she might die of deprivation.
He wove his tongue across her throat, licking, sucking the sensitive skin, then he nipped at the throbbing pulse sending a cascade of desire to her core.
“Oh God, Rafe. Don’t…don’t stop.”
He groaned. “Damn, Nicki. I don’t think I can. I…I want you, Princess. So damn bad.”
Any response she could have made was swallowed up when he captured her mouth with his lips. Unlike before he wasn’t gentle, delicately probing. No, this time he was fierce, powerful, demanding. He forced her lips open and drove his tongue deep in her mouth mimicking strokes her body ached for. She was as fierce as he was. All the pain and anguish she’d been feeling were blasted into her kiss. She tangled with his tongue, fought against his teeth. Winding her hands in his hair, she dug her fingernails in his scalp and pulled him closer.
The Ultimate Mystery Thriller Horror Box Set (7 Mystery Thriller Horror Bestsellers) Page 9