by Yule, S. K.
Nightmare. Yes. This had to be, but suddenly she remembered Galen’s fangs and claws. Had she imagined that too? No. A shiver ran down her spine. She hadn’t imagined any of it.
“You turned into a monster,” she whispered.
She struggled to get away from him, but he held her tightly as his body slightly shook.
“I’m sorry. I never meant for you to find out like this. I wanted to ease you into the idea.”
“Ease me into the idea! There is no easing anyone into the idea that werewolves exist. I can’t cope with this. I can’t do this.”
“You don’t have a choice in the matter now,” he whispered.
“What the hell does that mean?” She looked up at him again.
“You were bitten.”
“Yes. I was, and it hurt—still hurts like . . . Wait. Are you trying to tell me that I’m going to turn into a werewolf now?” She let out a hysterical shriek to keep from screaming because she knew if she started screaming, she may never stop.
He was silent, and the cold hand of dread tightened around her heart.
“Tell me it isn’t true,” she pleaded.
“I can’t. It should have been me that changed you.”
She pushed away from him, her shoulder screaming in agony at the movement. “No one should have changed me! I don’t want to be changed.”
“I would have never done so without your consent. This was forced upon you. This should never happen to anyone.”
“Is she going to be okay?” The voice came from behind them.
“Yes. I’ll make sure of it,” Galen answered.
“Anthony’s mate was turned the same way. Maybe she can help,” Brent said.
“No! No!” Myka struggled to her feet. “I want you both—all of you—off my land. Don’t ever come back. Just leave me the hell alone!”
How had this happened to her? She needed to go inside and climb into her nice warm bed. Her head pounded, her body ached, her shoulder was on fire, and she wanted this nightmare to be over. Surely if she went to sleep, she’d have a good laugh in the morning over the seriously fucked-up dream she’d just had. None of this could be real.
“I can’t leave you, Myka. I won’t let you go through this alone.” Galen stood slowly and took a step toward her.
She backed away from him, and he stopped. The pain that marred his beautiful face in obvious response to her rejection nearly sent her to her knees. The man she’d fallen in love with was not . . . She didn’t know what he was not, but she couldn’t be with him.
“I want you gone,” she said through clenched teeth as she turned and made her way toward the house.
After going inside, she locked the door. Yeah. A lot of good the locked doors and windows did earlier. She stumbled to the bathroom and started the shower. She winced as she peeled her now-ruined dress from her body. The fabric stuck to her shoulder, and she sobbed as she yanked it away from her skin. She stared down at the torn dress, and her chest ached. Maybe it was better this way. The dress that had meant so much to her earlier because it had come from Galen was beyond repair, just like her relationship with him.
After showering and washing the bite as best she could, she stood in front of the mirror, wrapped in a towel, trying to get up enough courage to look in the reflective glass that would make this nightmare all too real. Slowly she raised her eyes and stared at the punctures along her shoulder. She turned sideways and saw more on her back.
She was going to become a monster. Would she be a danger to Patrick? She began to cry. Her body shook with racking sobs that undulated through her. She couldn’t abandon Patrick. She loved him. He needed her. That was when she realized that no matter how much he’d hurt her, she needed Galen. He was the only one who could answer her question. Fear shot through her. She’d told him to leave. Was it too late? Had he already gone?
She ran to the front door, unlocked it, and jerked it open before running across the yard to the barn to find Galen standing by the stalls. His hair was damp, the dirt and blood were gone, and he had on jeans and a T-shirt.
“I got all of the horses back in their stalls.”
“I didn’t know they were gone.”
“Yes.”
“Galen, I, um—”
“I’m not leaving.”
“Oh.”
He gasped when he turned and looked at her. “You’re going to freeze out here. You only have on a towel.” He took a step closer, but stopped abruptly. He reached out toward her shoulder, but pulled his hand back before touching her.
“This changes everything.” She glanced down at the bite.
“I know.”
“I can’t be with you—not like we were—any longer, but I need you. You are the only one I can turn to who can help me through this.”
“Myka, I will never leave you. I love you. I will always love you. We were meant for one another, and whether you accept me or not, you are my mate, and I will protect you until the day I die.”
“I love you too,” she whispered. “But things are different now. I don’t know how I’ll feel in the future, but right now, I feel betrayed, hurt, and overwhelmed.”
“I’m sorry. You’ll never know how much this hurts me. What happened tonight is my fault. If I had only been strong enough to leave you, to lure them away before all of this happened.”
“I’m tired. I don’t want to get into deep conversation right now. Just answer me one thing.”
“Anything.”
“Am I a danger to Patrick?” She held her breath.
“No. You never will be either. He’s perfectly safe.”
She let the breath out in a whoosh. “Why were they chasing you?”
“Terrance, the one who bit you, told them I was a rogue. They’ve been chasing me for six months.”
“A rogue? That’s what Terrance was talking about. And what is Sanctuary?”
“A rogue is a lycan who doesn’t abide by our rules. Our species is in danger of dying out. All potential mates—like you—are of the utmost importance to our survival. If one is found, she is meant to be cherished, and kept safe at all costs. Rogues do not follow that law. They believe potential mates are fair game for torture, rape, and murder. They use them for amusement more times than not. Once a rogue has been located, if the potential for reformation is there, they are sent to Sanctuary to go through a program. If they reform, they are allowed to live.”
“And if they can’t be reformed?” She raised a brow.
“They are put down,” he answered quietly.
“Oh my God! That’s wrong. Why don’t you send them to prison?”
“We can’t. Think about it. If humans find out about our existence, we will be hunted to extinction. We are already facing it as it is. That’s why potential mates are so important.”
“How do you know I’m a potential mate? How do you know I’m your mate?”
“All potential mates have two scents—one that all lycans can smell, the other only a fated mate can smell. I can smell both on you. That means you are my fated mate.”
“If another lycan, one besides you, had found me, what would have happened?”
“Nothing. You would have been watched. Protected. And any honorable single male in the area would have been free to see if you were his. If you were, he would have been free to approach you. It would always have been your choice, though. No potential mate is ever forced to accept a mate or change. Ever. Not by an honorable lycan. Unfortunately, rogues are not honorable. I’m sorry the choice was taken from you tonight.”
“Are the others gone?”
“Yes. They won’t bother you again.”
“What about Terrance?”
“I’m not sure. I can only assume he has already been dealt with. He hurt you. He would have had no problem murdering you for his own gain. And I will not lie to you. Had things been different, had I gotten my hands on him, I would have killed him for hurting you. He lied about me. I gave him a chance when, in my heart, I knew he was be
yond reformation. It’s my fault. All of it. I should have taken care of the problem. Instead, I let it get out of hand, and my mistake caused you pain.”
“I’m going to bed now. You and I will have a long talk tomorrow. Patrick won’t be home until the day after.” She turned to go back to the house, when his words stopped her.
“You love me?”
She kept her back to him as her shoulders sagged. “Yes, but as I said, things are different now.”
She continued to the house, where she crawled into bed and fell into an exhausted sleep.
* * * *
He’d lost her. Myka would never trust him again. Galen tore his clothes off and let his wolf roar to the surface. He ran for the woods with sorrow burning through his soul as brightly as the sun. He’d finally found his mate, and now he’d lost her. She said she loved you. It didn’t matter. He’d seen the hurt shining in her eyes.
She wanted him to stay, but for how long? Once she learned everything she needed to know about lycans, after she shifted for the first time, would she send him packing? He’d no longer be of use to her after that. Even if she did ask him to leave, he’d never go far away. He’d watch over her for the rest of his life. He had a little over three weeks before the next full moon, before her first change. He’d convince her to stay with him before then. Somehow he’d make her trust him again. He had to. He was lost without her.
He howled his pain to the sky and ran until his muscles clenched in pain from being overused. Hours later, he stared down at her while she slept. He’d have to fix her door tomorrow. The lock was broken, which was probably how Terrance had gotten in so easily.
She moaned as a scowl marred her delicate features. She was dreaming. Then an idea hit him. He turned to leave, but couldn’t resist fingering a soft curl before heading back to the barn. He would find a way to make her want him again, make her understand that they were meant for one another.
Chapter Twelve
“It’s beautiful.” Myka watched the slow rise of the sun above the tree line from the pasture fence.
“Yes. It is,” Galen agreed softly.
She spun around.
“I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said.
“Why do you keep showing up in my dreams?”
“We are connected by fate. We share a bond that can never be broken.”
“No.” She turned back around to face the sunrise.
“It’s the truth, but it can’t force you to be with me. Nor would I. But I won’t deny I will never quit trying to convince you that we belong together.”
“I’m scared . . . confused . . . worried. I don’t know how to handle this. I’m going to become something I only thought existed in fairy tales.” She shrugged. “When will it happen? Can I choose to stop it? Is there anything I can do to make this all go away?”
He leaned against the fence beside her. “You will change for the first time during the next full moon. You have no choice the first time. After that, you can decide when or if you want to shift again. Although I won’t lie. Your wolf will call to you no matter how hard you try to ignore it. It will become a part of you.”
“Why? Why did this have to happen?” She took in a shuddering breath. There was no way to stop what she would soon become.
“Will you ever be able to forgive me, Myka? I never meant for this to happen. I would never hurt you in any way.”
After everything that had happened, in her heart, she knew that to be the one thing true no matter what. He would never hurt her. Not intentionally.
“I’m beyond frightened right now. I don’t know what to do.”
He gently urged her into his arms, and she quietly sobbed against the warm comfort of his wide chest. Why did the one man she’d fallen in love with have to be a werewolf? Why couldn’t he have been a normal person with a normal life? The answer was simple. She would have been bored with a normal man. Galen could show her a whole new world. Maybe she was viewing all of this the wrong way.
“It’s okay. Everything will be all right. I’ll be here with you every step of the way. I’ll help you. I love you, angel.”
“Since you told me I won’t be dangerous to Patrick, I assume I’ll have control over what I’m doing once I . . . I can’t say it.”
He stroked her back. “You won’t be any different than you are now. You won’t do anything as the wolf that you wouldn’t do as a human. Your wolf and human sides will both be conscious of one another at all times no matter what form you are in. The biggest changes you will notice are your heightened senses and strength. You’ll be faster, stronger. Your hearing, taste, smell, sight will all be enhanced. Your instincts will become more honed. Best of all, if you get hurt, you will heal when you shift.”
“Seriously?” She looked up at him.
“Yes.” He smiled.
“I wasn’t imagining it,” she said quietly.
“Imagining what?”
“You were hurt. When Terrance had me, you were bruised and bloody, but after I woke up in your arms, you looked fine. You were still covered in dirt, and strangely naked, but not hurt.” Her mouth fell open. “They hurt you, and you changed and healed yourself.”
“Yes.”
She stared at him for several long minutes before finally asking, “From the very first day we met, you knew I was your mate. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“How do you walk up to someone and say, ‘Hi. I’m Galen. And by the way, I’m a lycan, and you are my mate. Will you let me change you and spend the rest of your life with me?’ I was going to tell you, but we were interrupted. Remember?” He frowned. “Your life span will be”—he cleared his throat—”a bit longer as well.”
“How much longer? How old are you?”
“Do you really want me to answer? Because I won’t lie to you, but you already have a lot to handle.”
“How old are you?” she asked firmly again.
“Five hundred, give or take a few years.”
She gasped, stepped back, then slowly covered her mouth with her hand. After several seconds, she looked up at him.
“I’m going to outlive Patrick?”
He grimaced and nodded.
“After he grows up, can we change him if he chooses?”
“No. Only a potential mate can be turned. Patrick would not change if bitten. He could even possibly develop an infection from the bite.”
“No! This is not fair. How am I supposed to be expected to watch him die one day?”
“Myka.” He took her by the shoulders. “It won’t happen for a long, long time. Death is something we all have to deal with. You can’t imagine how lonely my life has been. You can’t imagine how happy I was when I found someone who I wouldn’t eventually have to watch die.”
Now she was beginning to understand Galen better. He’d always had an edge about him. Always seemed to be friendly, yet kept a distance from others. He shielded himself from getting close to others because he knew one day he’d lose them. She couldn’t imagine how many people he’d cared about that he’d lost in his long lifetime.
Her chest ached thinking about all of the pain he must have endured. Now he’d found her, and she wanted to leave him too. But she couldn’t deny the part of her that felt betrayed. Although he did have a point. He couldn’t exactly have walked up to her after their first meeting and expected her to believe that he was a lycan. And he had been about to tell her before they’d been ambushed.
“When you say you are here in my dream because we are connected, what exactly does that mean?”
“When we are together in our dreams, it is real. This is real. Everything we experience is real. But only the memories of what happens here—nothing physical—can be carried back when we awake. And while it is possible to carry real injuries we might have sustained while awake into our dreams, once we realize we are dreaming, those physical limitations disappear here as well. Nothing physical—tangible—can travel between the two.”
“How am I supposed to wrap my min
d around all of this? What am I supposed to do?”
“Give me a chance to love you, to show you that I can make you happy. Give us a chance, Myka. I need you, angel. I’ll help raise Patrick. I’ll love him as my own. I already love him as my own. We’ll fix the farm up. Expand the barn and chicken coop. Take in more horses if you like. Together we’ll make it our own. Make it perfect for our family.”
She shook her head. “I don’t have the money for that, and there aren’t many jobs around here for you, Galen.”
“I have money. More than I know what to do with. I’ve had a very long time to save up.” He smiled.
“I can’t just take your money,” she said in a huff.
“You can’t take something that is freely given. Everything I have is yours.”
“It’s not right.”
“Why? Why is it not right? You’ve worked hard your entire life. You lost your parents. You lost your brother, and you are trying to give Patrick the best of everything. Let me help you do that. If not for you, for Patrick. Let me make your lives easier for a change. Let me provide you the opportunity to enjoy life and what it has to offer instead of struggling with everything it’s taken from you. I know money can’t buy happiness, but it can be a true blessing if you have the right person to share it with. I’ve never wanted to share it before, but I do now.”
“I don’t want you to think I want you for your money,” she scoffed.
“I would never think that. You wanted me before you knew I had money.” He chuckled.
“I can’t deny it makes you even more attractive.” She pursed her lips. “Actually, I don’t think it’s possible for you to be more attractive. And that was a joke, of course. Money has nothing to do with how gorgeous you are, or my interest in you.”
“Angel, if there is one thing I’m sure of about you, it is that you are not a shallow woman.” He took her hands in his. “Give us a chance, Myka. Just a chance. I’ll get on my knees and beg if you want me to.”
“I would never ask you to beg for anything, Galen. No one should ever have that much power over another person.”