I wanted to get back the feeling we’d had before that Grace chick had shown up, when it had just been Stella and me and our bikes, and we were about to enjoy a nice meal and then get back on our bikes and do some more exploring. Stella had been relaxed and enjoying herself then; now I could feel the stress radiating off of her.
“I think we should just go back to the house,” she said.
“Sure, if that’s what you want. Do you... do you want to ride there, though? I think we’ll make better time.” I was also starting to get a blister from so much walking.
We rode back to her place. I could feel that I had actually gotten a bit of a sunburn on the tip of my nose. We brought the bikes inside, back to the basketball court.
“Thanks for letting me take the Moots,” I said. “That was a fun ride.”
Stella brushed her hair back from her face. “Yeah,” she said, sounding distracted. “It was fun. Well, the first part was.”
“I had a good time. I’m sorry that you ended up seeing some people you didn’t want to.”
We were standing awfully close to each other. I wasn’t even sure how that had happened, but now that I was aware of it, it seemed to be the only thing I could focus on. She looked so unhappy right then, but I thought back to earlier, before we’d run into Marty or Grace, when it had just been the two of us and the bikes, and she’d laughed and smiled and we’d had a good time. I wanted her to be feeling like that again.
So, I leaned down and kissed her. That hadn’t been my plan. I hadn’t been thinking about doing it and just waiting for the right time—it just seemed like the thing to do in that moment. And there was a pause, but then she kissed me back. I brought my hands up to either side of her face, traced the contours of her ears with my forefinger, before she suddenly stiffened and pushed me away.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Shoot,” I said, still feeling the sensation of her lips against mine. God, that had been good. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I just... I…” My voice trailed off. I didn’t know what to say. Her expression was difficult to read. But she had kissed me back; I knew that. Which meant that she had to have liked it herself, at least a little bit.
“No,” she said. “You shouldn’t have.”
We both stood there, looking at each other. What was I supposed to do now, though? It wasn’t as if I could take it back, and I figured saying that I regretted it would probably not make the situation any better. And I didn’t regret it, was the other thing.
“I’ll just go now,” I said. “And... I’m sorry about doing that.”
“It’s okay.” She was nodding. “I mean, no, it’s not okay. But it’s already happened—you can’t take it back.”
“I don’t want to take it back.”
Her eyes widened, just a little. But she set her mouth in a determined line. “I think maybe it would be best if you just left for right now.” She rubbed her face with both hands. “I don’t even know what’s going on anymore,” she said, almost more to herself. “I just... I need to be alone right now.”
I didn’t even have time to say anything before she turned and left, leaving me alone on the basketball court. I stood there, surrounded by all these expensive-ass bikes, in the middle of this mansion that was owned by some billionaire. Sometimes, sometimes, you find yourself in a situation and you wonder, how the hell did I get here?
I wondered that for a moment, but then I had the more pressing question of, how the hell do I get out of here? Because I wasn’t quite sure. I left the basketball court and took a left, which brought me down a hallway past what looked like a personal movie theater, and another sitting area with a huge expanse of windows. Where I thought the exit should’ve been, there was another hallway. I needed a map of the place. I turned and started to walk back toward the basketball court, figuring I needed to take a right when I’d taken a left. That’s when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned. It was Gareth.
“Are you lost?” he asked, no hint of amusement in his voice.
“Um, yeah, actually, I am lost. I’m just trying to leave.”
“For good?”
“For the day.”
“Stella seemed rather upset just a minute ago. I saw her leave the basketball court. Did you do something to upset her? You wouldn’t be foolish enough to do something like that, now, would you?”
“Uh... no, I’m not trying to upset her. We actually had a pretty nice day. Well, it started out that way, but then—”
Gareth held up his hand. “I don’t need to hear all the mundane details,” he said. “That’s not necessary. To be honest, I’m a little surprised that you’re still around. I figured Stella would’ve scared you off within the first day or two.” He pressed his lips together and frowned. “She must like you.”
“We get along pretty well. I think it helps that we both like bikes.”
“Again, I’m not looking for an elaboration on the all the tedious details. What I can do, though, is escort you out of here.”
“That’d be great,” I said. The sooner I could get away from him, the better.
“Vivian doesn’t want you lurking around here,” he said as I followed him down the hallway.
“Lurking? I wasn’t lurking. I was in here with Stella, putting the bikes away. And then I was going to show myself out. Except this place is so big it might as well have its own zip code. But I wasn’t lurking.”
“We’re really not even sure it’s necessary for you to be in the house at all. Obviously we’re not concerned for Stella’s safety when she’s within the confines of her own home. Your presence is only needed when she goes out on those bike rides into the woods, where anyone could be.”
“Okay,” I said. “But Ed was the one who invited me in here in the first place.”
“But Ed isn’t here right now. And despite what appearances might tell you, this house is really Vivian’s domain. Ed might’ve provided the money, but it’s really Vivian’s. And don’t you forget it.”
***
When I got back to my place, I texted Stella. Even though part of me thought that it wouldn’t make a difference to her, I wanted her to at least know that I was thinking about her.
I’m sorry, I wrote. I messed up a perfectly good day by doing that. I’m really sorry.
I hit send, not expecting a response. When I heard my phone go off a few minutes later, though, I felt a surge of happiness, even though I hadn’t looked to see what she had responded with. It could’ve been telling me to go screw myself. I looked at the screen.
This is Marty. I met you a few hours ago at the bike shop. You came in with Stella. Can we meet up? There’s something I need to talk with you about.
Huh? I reread the message. He wanted to meet up? Was he secretly in love with Stella and now wanted to throw down with me or something? What the hell was this all about?
Obviously, the only way I was going to find out was if I texted him back to meet up.
Where do you want to meet?
I’m out of work at six. I can meet you at Coley Park at 6:15.
Okay, I wrote back. I’ll be there.
I got to Coley Park at 6:10 and realized that we hadn’t settled on a meeting place. I rode my bike around near the entrance, running possible scenarios through my mind: Marty was going to tell me I’d better leave Stella alone; Marty was going to show up with a crew and kick my ass; Marty was going to—
“Hey.” It was Marty. I’d been so lost in thought that I hadn’t seen him roll up.
“Hey.”
“Thanks for meeting with me,” he said. “I know this is a little weird.”
“Yeah, it is. How’d you even get my number?”
“I looked you up in the customer database at the shop. Which is probably totally uncool and not kosher, and if you wanted to rat me out to my boss, I’d probably get fired…”
“Which wouldn’t be the first time something like that has happened.”
“Right,” he said. He look
ed down at his hands. “And I would probably even deserve it, like I did when Stella’s father fired me.”
“So, what is this all about?”
“I’ve kept quiet about something for a while now, something that I should never have done in the first place.” I didn’t say anything and waited for him to go on, a strange squirming feeling building in my gut. I had a feeling I knew what he was going to say, though part of me hoped that I was wrong. “I did mess with Stella’s brakes,” he said. “It was me.”
“Why the hell would you do something like that? She could’ve been killed.”
“That was never my intention.”
I wanted to grab him by the collar and just start battering his face, then maybe throw him in front of a Muni. But instead I remained where I was and let him continue speaking.
“I had a lot going on at the time. Which is no excuse, I know—I’m just trying to tell you a little background so you’ll understand why I did it.”
“But you were her mechanic,” I said. “She trusted you.”
“I know she did. And I never imagined she’d get as hurt as she would—I thought she’d feel that there was something not right with the brakes immediately and pull up before she even got going.”
I shook my head. “Then you obviously don’t know Stella that well.”
“I thought if I just did my part, then I’d be free and clear. I needed the money. My ex was trying to get custody of my kid and she had lawyered up and there’s no way I was going to be able to afford a lawyer if I didn’t do it.”
“Wait a second,” I said. “Lawyer? Money? What are you talking about?”
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I didn’t screw around with Stella’s brakes because I wanted to. I did it because someone paid me to.”
My eyes widened. “Are you serious? Who?”
“I don’t know.”
“What do you mean, you don’t know? Who told you to do it?”
“I don’t know who it was. It was some guy who wore a baseball cap and these big sunglasses and I barely even saw his face. He gave me an envelope full of cash.”
“And it never occurred to you to say no? To go to the police? To tell Stella?”
“Look.” Marty held up his hands. The look on his face was pure anguish, and a part of me did kind of feel bad for the guy. “It was a really bad time for me. I try to keep my personal life and my professional life separate, so I don’t think that Stella or anyone had any clue what was going on. But all this happened right at a time when I needed a whole bunch of money. Have you ever gone through a custody battle before? Do you know how much of a retainer a good lawyer requires? And like I said, I didn’t think it would go so far; I thought Stella would notice right away.”
“It’s a race,” I said. “She’s not going to be using her brakes if she doesn’t have to.”
“It’s one of those things that when I look back now, I can’t believe that I did it. It’s easily the stupidest thing that I’ve ever done, and if I could go back and undo it, I would. Her dad was totally justified in firing me.”
“He doesn’t even know, though,” I said. “What do you think her father would do to you if he found out? Why do you think I won’t go tell him myself?”
“You might, and I can’t say I would blame you. But…” He paused, shifted uncomfortably.
“But what?”
“But the way the whole thing went down was just... weird.”
“Yeah, of course it was. You basically performed a hit for someone, except you didn’t actually kill the person. Well, you almost did.”
“That’s not it. I got a weird feeling from the guy. Like maybe Mr. Brookshire was somehow involved.”
That idea was so ludicrous I almost burst out laughing. “You’re sitting here telling me that you think Stella’s dad had something to do with this? Are you nuts? Or are you just saying that because you think I won’t go tell him?”
Was this whole conversation really happening? Or was I dreaming? Part of me expected to wake up at any moment, because there was no way that this was actually taking place. I pinched my arm. Marty looked at me.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m trying to wake myself up from this ridiculous dream. Did I have Chinese food last night?”
“Huh?”
“The MSG in Chinese food always gives me these crazy dreams. Like crazier than regular dreams. And this must be one of them.” I gave my arm a harder pinch.
“Will you stop that?” he said. “This isn’t a dream. Well, maybe a nightmare. But it’s really happening.”
“This is insane. You’re not only telling me that you messed around with Stella’s brakes and caused her accident, but that someone paid you to do it, and for some unfathomable reason you seem to think that it was her father?” I shook my head. “You know what this sounds like to me? It sounds like you are overcome with such guilt—which you should be—that it’s now eating away at you and you’re trying to find a way to get out of this, or to make it sound like you were just a pawn in this whole thing.”
“I’m not trying to get out of anything. I will freely admit own my actions. I had tried to forget about it for the longest time, and I thought that maybe I had managed to, but then seeing you two at the shop the other day... that brought it all back. I’m not trying to place the blame on anyone else, because I know that I was the one who did it. But what I am trying to say is that I think Stella might still be in danger. I wanted you to know that.”
“Why do you think it was her father who had something to do with it? Ed’s a nice guy.”
“Yeah, I always thought so, too. But does a guy get as wealthy as he is by being nice?”
“Probably not, but Stella is his daughter, not his client.”
“It was the shoes.”
“Huh?”
“The guy who met up with me was wearing these shoes. I don’t know what kind they were. But they were similar to a pair that Mr. Brookshire wore a lot.”
“That doesn’t mean anything,” I said. “People wear shoes. Shoes look alike.”
He shrugged. “I noticed the shoes. And it was a feeling I got. I don’t know. All I do know is I did the wrong thing once; I don’t want to do it again.”
“But all you’re doing is telling me this. You’re just passing your guilty conscience on to me.”
I mean, really—what the hell did he expect me to do? But then I remembered that text that Stella had gotten, the one I’d seen that day at Round Pond. Not that I was going to bring that up with Marty.
“I’d just like to do the right thing,” he said.
“It’s too bad you weren’t overcome with that feeling before Stella’s last race.” Marty flinched, as if I had just physically assaulted him. I felt a little bad saying that; I wasn’t used to being a jerk to people, but it was true. Now all of a sudden his conscience was kicking in, yet the damage had already been done.
He left a few minutes after that, but I stayed there at the park, trying to process everything he’d told me. He’d left me with more questions than answers, but I knew that I couldn’t go to Ed Brookshire about this, not just yet anyway. I needed to figure out if there was any merit to what Marty had said, if it was at all possible that Ed had had something to do with Stella’s accident. And I couldn’t let her know either.
Chapter 14
Stella
I all but fled back to my bedroom, leaving Cole standing there amongst the bikes on the basketball court. My heart thudded, even after my bedroom door was firmly shut. I paced back and forth in front of the window seat. He’d kissed me. He’d kissed me. This thought repeated itself over and over in my mind, building steam until it was the only thing I was really aware of. Until another thought muscled its way in:
And I’d liked it.
That stopped me dead in my tracks.
It was true—I had. Not only that, I enjoyed getting to hang out with Cole. He was different from other guys I’d hung out with before.
Yeah, there was a little bit of a competitive edge between us, but there was nothing wrong with that. What really mattered to me was the fact that Cole treated me like a regular person. Sometimes people had a hard time doing that, even when they tried—it was like I could sense it. Whether it was because I had been a professional racer or because my dad was so wealthy, I wasn’t sure. My mother might have luxuriated in such treatment, but I had always just wanted to be a regular girl. With Cole, I was actually able to feel that way.
I brushed my fingers against my lips, closing my eyes. I hadn’t handled that the right way, not at all. It was true what I had said—I didn’t know what was going on anymore. And it had happened so fast—one moment we were standing there, putting the bikes back; the next moment, he was kissing me.
Cole was probably long gone, but I left my room and walked back toward the basketball court. On my way there, I ran into Gareth.
“I’ve seen to it that Mr. O’Keefe has left the premises,” he said. “As I told him, I don’t need to know all the details, but it’s clear that he did something to upset you. Which is simply unacceptable. If you’d like to talk about it, I am willing to listen.”
The thought of confessing anything to Gareth made me smile, the tiniest bit, because the idea was so ludicrous. My mother might find Gareth to be the ideal confidant, but I certainly wasn’t going to start talking to him about things—and definitely not anything to do with a guy.
“Thanks,” I said. “But I think it’s okay. Cole left?”
“Yes. Your mother and I have been discussing it, and it seems it might be in everyone’s best interest if that were to be a permanent thing.”
“I don’t know about that,” I said. I looked at him more closely. “You and Mom have been discussing it?”
“We were both rather surprised that he’s managed to hold on for this long. When others in the past have not been able to do that.”
I shrugged, not wanting to elaborate that the reason Cole hadn’t run off yet was because I liked him. If I wanted to chase him away, I probably could, though there was something about him that seemed more resilient than the other guys who had attempted to be my bodyguard.
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