“Oh.” I hesitated. I did have his personal phone number, of course, but I wasn’t about to just give it to her. “Um... Why don’t I give you the name of the company he works for? That way you can go through them. I’m not... I’m not sure if he specifically is going to be taking on any more clients like this.”
“What do you mean? You’re his one and only?” She giggled.
“No,” I said, feeling my face flush. “That’s not what I mean. It’s just... well, I don’t know, maybe he’d be available to do this for other people, too, but really that’s something you should talk to him about.”
“Would he be open for a lunch meeting to discuss options?”
Lunch meeting? An image of Meredith flashed across my mind, her all dolled up, looking amazing because someone like her always looked amazing, taking Ben out to some swanky restaurant, convincing him that he should work with her... She might be able to convince him that he should work exclusively with her. That wouldn’t surprise me one bit.
“I honestly don’t know,” I said to Meredith. I tried to push those thoughts from my mind; I didn’t want to think that. “You should really talk to him.”
“Well, I can’t do that if I don’t have his phone number. I won’t even tell him that you gave it to me.”
“I’m sorry; I just don’t feel comfortable doing that.”
“Really? Come on, Teagan.”
I could hear the edge in her voice. She was not a person who was used to being told no; she was used to always getting her way, especially with someone like me. In high school, Meredith would’ve been the leader of the popular girls; I was someone always on the periphery, kept around to make the other girls higher up on the social hierarchy feel better about themselves.
“Really,” I said, trying to keep my voice strong even though my insides felt like they were shaking. “But I will definitely give you the number for where he works, and then you can…”
“That I can just look up online myself. Thanks a lot.” She hung up.
Something similar to nausea swirled through me as I looked at the phone, Meredith’s voice still ringing in my ears. She was mad because I hadn’t given her Ben’s number. Was she now going to try to call him up and convince him that he shouldn’t work with me anymore? It wouldn’t surprise me, especially now that she felt like I had wronged her.
Chapter 11
Ben
I was about a block away from the house, having just taken the long walk home from the office, when my phone rang. It was a nice evening, though, and I had been sitting at my desk all day, so getting the exercise was good. I looked at the screen and saw that it was someone from the office calling, so I picked up. It was Cole.
“Sorry to bother you,” he said, “but I’ve got a girl on hold right now who is demanding to speak to you, and only you.”
“Me?”
“Uh-huh. I told her you had left for the day, but then she started harassing me about giving out your personal number, to which I of course laughed and said hell, no.”
I smiled as I turned the corner, because I knew Cole had probably said it exactly like that.
“And how’d she take that?”
“Er... you know. She keeps calling, saying that it’s really important. That you know her.”
“Who is it, again?”
“Her name’s Meredith. She says she’s good friends with Teagan.”
“Ah. Yeah, I think I met her the other night. Another Instagram star. Who knew there were so many of them?” I pulled my keys out of my pocket as I walked up to the front door of the house. “So she wants me to call her?”
“No—she wants to call you, but on your personal phone. I told her it was against company policy to give out personal phone numbers, but she didn’t really seem to hear me. Should I just tell her to call back on Monday, when you’re in?”
“Yeah, why don’t you do that?” I stepped into the house and pushed the door shut behind me. I could hear something playing on the TV, sounded like some sort of courtroom drama. “I don’t need her calling my phone or anything. And if it’s really that much of an emergency, she can talk to you.”
Cole laughed. “I already made that suggestion, and it didn’t go over so well. It’s you they all want, my man!”
“Well, she’s going to have to wait.” It was Friday, which meant after I cooked a few meals for Dad to have in the fridge for the weekend, I could head up to the Russian River. If Camille and her lover boy were up there, well, tough shit, they’d have to leave.
“You know what she wants to talk about?”
“I could take a few guesses. I don’t really have the bandwidth to take her on as a client right now. I mean me, personally. Which is why it might make sense if she talked to someone else.”
“I know, dude. I tried to sort of tell her that, but she’s pretty persistent.”
“You can tell her if she has to talk to me, then it’ll have to wait until I’m back in the office. Why don’t you get her number and tell her I’ll give her a call. If it’s anything more pressing, she can talk to one of my equally qualified colleagues.”
“Aw, shucks. I’ll pass the message along. You going up to your cabin?”
“I am. Need to get away from the city for a little bit.”
“I hear ya. Stell and I are thinking about going out to Tahoe at some point. You should come with us.”
“Yeah, we’ll see. I don’t want to be the third wheel or anything.”
“Aw, come on, man, you’d never be the third wheel. But... if you’re concerned about feeling that way, you could always invite someone along, too. The more the merrier!”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said, trying not to laugh. Cole could be persistent when he wanted to be, and sometimes it seemed like he wanted me to have a girlfriend more than I myself wanted to. “I’ll talk to you later, man.”
“Who was that?” Dad asked after I hung up.
“It was Cole. Someone’s trying to reach me at the office, but obviously I’m not there right now. She’s trying to get him to give her my phone number.”
“Sounds pushy.”
“A little.”
He folded his arms across his chest and gave me an irritated look.
“What?”
“I just don’t understand it,” Dad said.
“What don’t you understand?” I asked, with far more patience than I was currently feeling. “I’m just going to make you a couple of things to have in the fridge this weekend. I’m going up to the cabin.”
“I don’t understand why you would want to be on call the way you are. Is that way of life fulfilling to you? It sounds awful to me. Makes it seem like your time isn’t even your time.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Oh, yeah? How is it then?”
“It just is what it is. I’m not going back into the office right now; if this person wants to talk to me on Monday, she can call back then. I can’t control what she does. If she wants to keep calling the office all weekend until I’m back, there’s nothing I can do about it.”
Dad grunted. “It all sounds ridiculous, if you ask me.”
I guess it’s good I didn’t ask you, then. I didn’t say this out loud, of course. I took a deep breath and tried to tell myself that there was no point in getting into an argument with my father. Sometimes, though, I just wanted to be free of it all. Sometimes, I didn’t want to live in the city at all; I just wanted to pack my shit up and go up North and not have to deal with people ever again. But that couldn’t happen until... well, until Dad died. Which was an awful thing to think, and I usually never let my thoughts wander in that direction, because I knew my dad couldn’t help the way his life had turned out and wouldn’t have wanted it to be this way, if he’d had any say in the matter. And I wanted to do right by him. But still, that didn’t mean I wasn’t sometimes overcome with frustration and resentment, especially when he started in on me like this.
“I’m actually okay with the way things are
going right now,” I said. “I’ll be back Sunday night. Call me if you need anything. And there’s plenty of food in the fridge.”
He grunted as way of saying goodbye, and I hurried out to the garage, eager to get away. I was just about to put the key in the ignition when my phone rang. It was Teagan.
“Hey,” I said. “How’s it going?”
“Pretty good,” she said. “So, I know this is pretty last-minute, but there’s an art gallery opening that I was thinking I’d like to go to. It starts at seven. It’s at Toko.”
“Oh,” I said. Hmm. I had wanted to be on the road by now, and going out to an art gallery opening would certainly delay my start by a lot. I also knew Toko, and while it was a nice space, it wasn’t in the best neighborhood. Teagan would probably be totally understanding if I said that I was heading out of town for the weekend, but at the same time, if she went by herself and something happened, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to live with myself.
“Never mind,” she was saying now. “It sounds like you’re busy. And that’s fine. Like I said, I know it’s really last-minute.”
“No, no, it’s okay. I’m in my car right now; I could meet up with you and then head out later.”
“I don’t want to interfere with your plans.”
I glanced to my right, toward the house, where I knew my dad was sitting in the living room. I was glad he couldn’t hear this conversation right now.
“It’s nothing important,” I said. “I was just going to head up to the Russian River for the weekend. I have a cabin up there and it’s kind of like my respite from the city.”
“That sounds really nice. You should go do that.”
“Do you want to come with me?”
There was a second of silence, followed by another. I think we were both in shock—did those words really just come out of my mouth? What the hell? Maybe it was the barrage of shit my father had just given me, or the fact that, while I loved my cabin nestled in the redwoods, sometimes going up there alone was a drag. I liked my solitude, sure, but I also really enjoyed being able to share experiences with someone else.
“To the Russian River?” Teagan said.
There was no way to backpedal gracefully—plus, there was a part of me that didn’t want to. I’d also love to see the look on Camille’s face if she were to show up there and I had someone with me. That would be mint.
“Yes,” I said. “Only if you’re interested, though. No pressure.”
I hoped that by phrasing it that way, she would understand that I wasn’t after anything; I wasn’t going to try to put the moves on her. Drew wouldn’t be thrilled to hear about this, but then again, he didn’t have to know.
“Well... yeah, I’d like to do that,” she said.
“I’m in my car right now. I’ll come pick you up and we can check out that art thing and then head up there. Just make sure to bring some shoes you’re comfortable walking in.”
“That I can do,” she said, and I could hear the excitement in her voice, which made me smile.
“Awesome,” I said. “I’ll see you soon.”
I tossed the phone on the passenger seat, glad that I had been in the garage and not in Dad’s earshot when she had called. I’d probably never hear the end of it if he overheard me.
I’d lived my whole life doing things by the books—it felt good to break free of that for once.
Chapter 12
Teagan
I had been so surprised that Ben had invited me up to his cabin that I’d agreed to go before the reality of it sunk in: I wasn’t an outdoor sort of girl. I’d never been camping before, I barely went swimming, and I’d been to Golden Gate Park maybe two or three times in my entire life. What, exactly, would we do up in the cabin for the whole weekend? I hadn’t thought through the actual details of it, and now, as I sat next to him in his car, the city getting further and further away, I could feel my anxiety starting to creep its way in. What if we ran out of things to talk about? Or what if I did something foolish? Because I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I’d left the city. Even though the moments of silence between us were the comfortable kind, I couldn’t seem to control my mind from playing out every worst-case scenario that it could conjure up.
“...eventually have to figure something out.”
I glanced at him, realizing that I hadn’t heard the first part of his sentence. But instead of letting on about that, I just nodded.
“I know it’s not the most conventional of things,” Ben continued, “but this cabin is really where I think of as home—not so much the city. Eventually, I’d like to come up here for good, but that means I’ll have to figure something out with Camille.”
Camille? I must’ve had a confused look on my face, because he smiled and shook his head. “I’m sorry,” he said. “We don’t need to spend another second talking about my ex-girlfriend.”
“It’s okay,” I said. That’s right. He had mentioned that the cabin was still technically owned by the two of them, even though they’d been broken up for a while. “I can only begin to imagine how complicated something like that must be. Luckily, I never went into something like that with this guy, Elliott, that I was seeing for a while. He was actually the one who suggested that I get a bodyguard in the first place.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah. And then I just happened to run into you in the elevator like that. I wasn’t planning on actually getting someone, even though Elliott really thought I should.”
“Funny how timing works out, huh?”
“It really is.”
“Your friend’s been trying to get in touch with me,” he said.
I looked at him in confusion. “Friend? Which friend?”
“Meredith? I was talking with Cole before you called and he said that she was calling the office, trying to get him to give her my phone number. Know anything about that?”
“Oh, my God.” I tried not to roll my eyes. “I’m really sorry. She’s trying to get in touch with you personally. She had called me first and tried to get me to give her your phone number, too. And basically hung up on me when I said that I wouldn’t. It’s not that I’m being territorial,” she added quickly, but the way she said it made it clear that she was—at least a little bit—feeling territorial. Which I actually found to be rather flattering.
“Well, I appreciate you not passing out my personal phone number. This is the girl who was at that thing you were at? Those people I met?”
“Yeah. She wants to talk with you about being her personal bodyguard, too. She probably has more of a reason to have one than I do, I guess, what with Alex getting beaten up the other night at the bar. I didn’t really get the whole story from her; we’re more like acquaintances than friends. I mean, she’s only friends with me because of Instagram. It’s not like she’d give me the time of day if I didn’t have more followers than she did.”
He was trying not to smile. “She’ll really have to talk with the guys down at the office then. If she’s serious about it. I’m not taking on any more clients in that capacity.”
“She’s not going to be very happy to hear that.”
“That’s kind of the impression Cole was giving me. Which is strange, because I certainly don’t consider myself the end-all when it comes to security. I mean, if she’s looking for dashing, dark, and handsome, she should really see if Drew would be willing to take her on.”
“You’re plenty handsome!” I said. Which is why I’d rather you not also work with Meredith. I had no problems with Meredith, but she was not someone I would want to be in open competition with.
He grinned. “Stop—you’re making me blush.”
“I think what it is, is that I went out and did something before her, and now she’s trying to regain some footing. She’s competitive like that. Even though I’m not trying to make anything a competition.”
“Yeah, I think I’d rather stay out of that one altogether,” he said.
“Fine by me.”
; “Can I be honest with you?” he asked. “Because I feel like I can. I find you very easy to talk to.”
I hoped I wasn’t blushing too badly, hoped that it wasn’t too obvious how pleased hearing him say that made me feel.
“Of course you can,” I said.
“It’s not my norm to ask someone whom I’ve known for such a short time to come up to the cabin with me like this. And I know that you and I have a professional relationship, and I do intend to keep it as such, though I know that probably doesn’t seem like the case at all.” He smiled. “I guess I just feel like I’ve always spent my whole life doing what I was supposed to do, following all the rules. Never even really rebelled during my high school years.”
I glanced at him. “Are you doing something wrong right now?” I wasn’t quite sure how to take what he was saying—it was wrong that we were going up to his cabin? True, it wasn’t the most orthodox of situations—it was really something that I’d expect my sister Aoife to partake in, not me—but maybe that was why part of me felt so exhilarated.
“No!” he said. “No, no, please don’t take it that way. It’s good, is what I’m trying to say, just not very eloquently. I guess the reason I’m bringing it up is because there is a part of me that feels a little sleazy, bringing you up here like this. And I want you to know that I’m not going to try anything, and it’s really just a beautiful area and I love to get to show people around, especially if they aren’t familiar with it.” The smile deepened a little, and he raised an eyebrow at me. “In particular if they claim they aren’t into the outdoors.”
I returned his smile, even though, inside, confusion whipped around me like a tornado. He was basically admitting that he did not like me, or not the way I liked him. But that also confused me, because I barely even knew him, so how could I be having feelings as strong as I felt I was having?
I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. There was no need to get all worked up right now, even if there was a part of me that wanted to ask him if he found me attractive. But that was stupid, and there was no way I’d ask him something like that anyway.
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