“Trust me, it’s not something I want to relive either. I wish it had never happened. But it was not something that I went out and looked for, not by a long shot. Ever since that night that I went over to Meredith’s to meet you, she has developed some sort of strange... I don’t know, fixation with me, I guess is the best way to describe it.”
“So—what? You’re trying to blame me for this? Are you saying that it’s my fault because I had you come over there that night?”
“No—that’s not what I’m saying at all. Listen, Teagan, you’ve got to believe me when I say that this whole situation is not anything I’ve ever been a part of before. I was in a long-term relationship with Camille for so long that there was never really any issue with girls trying to hit on me because they knew I was involved. Or if they didn’t know, once they found out, they’d back off. Because that’s the kind of guy I am—I have no interest in two-timing anyone, in lying, in any of that. Having been on the receiving end of it, I know how truly awful it is and how badly it can mess with your head. I did not tell you that I love just to turn around and go out and kiss someone else.”
“Yet somehow there’s a picture of you doing exactly that.”
“Right. I know how it looks. After I left your place, I was planning to head home, but my dad texted me and asked if I’d stop by the pharmacy for him. So I did, and it happened to be the one next to this smoothie place I like, so I went in. On my way out, who should I run into coming out of a bar, but Meredith, who was drunk, and immediately started in on me. I mean, the girl’s kind of ruthless, if you want to know the truth. I’m a nice guy, Teagan, and maybe it would’ve served me better if I’d been more of an asshole from the start. But that’s just not who I am.”
“I know,” I said, and I also knew that this was something I liked about him so much. He wasn’t an asshole, and maybe it was wrong of me to expect him to be one when it would benefit me.
“And I swear—she grabbed me and kissed me. The picture doesn’t show it, but there is no reciprocation on my part. You’re just going to have to take my word for it on that, but I hope you know that I would never lie to you.”
“Except you already have.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“Lying by omission is still a lie. If Meredith hadn’t posted this picture, I would’ve had no idea about what happened. And it sounds like that’s exactly what you were hoping was going to happen.”
He sighed. “Okay—I should’ve told you. You’re right. I wouldn’t be pleased about it if I was in your position, either. I can see that now. But you’ve got to believe me when I say that I just wanted to forget about the whole thing. Because it meant nothing. It meant less than that, actually, because you basically have this person who can’t take no for an answer. It’s kind of ridiculous, and I’m not quite sure what her problem is, other than she’s an entitled elitist who thinks the world revolves around her. I’m sorry to have to say that about someone you consider a friend, but that’s what my experience has been.”
My head felt a bit clearer than it had before. I didn’t want to be one of those foolish women who just looked the other way while her man continued to go out and do things behind her back, but I knew that Ben wasn’t really like this. I did believe him, now that I was sitting here and he was talking to me, and I could look into his eyes. Not that I was a psychic or anything, but sometimes you just know when someone is telling the truth.
“And, Teagan, I take relationships seriously. I would never have told you that I loved you if I didn’t actually mean it. I guess that’s one of the things that has me so messed up about this situation—that you think I’d be the sort of person who would say something like that and then go out and kiss someone else. I would never do that. I respect you, though, and I want you to know that I will accept it if you tell me to leave and never get in touch with you again. But I couldn’t just leave things without explaining myself first. Because I know how they probably looked to you, but the reality is much different.”
I could feel my resolve weakening, falling away. But it no longer seemed like a bad thing. I believed what he was saying, because I knew that Ben was a good person. Sure, he might not be perfect, but he was not someone who went out of his way to try to pull one over on people. And he was honest.
I nodded and leaned forward, letting my head rest against his shoulder. I felt his arms go around me and I sighed—this felt right. It felt so good to relax against him, to be able to set aside all those feelings of anger, resentment, confusion, and allow what I truly felt for him to take front and center stage again.
“Thank you for saying all of that,” I said. “And I do believe you.”
“You don’t know how happy it makes me to hear you say that. Because I did mean what I said to you, Teagan. I love you. And if you would be willing to give things between us another shot, it would truly mean the world to me.”
“Of course,” I said. I didn’t even need to consider it—it was the right thing to do.
“Listen,” he said, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “I’ve got a work meeting I need to get to, so I can’t stay, though there’s really nothing more I would rather do. But before I go, you’re going to let me run you a bath. You’ll feel better after you get cleaned up a little.” He smiled. “You have puke in your hair.”
“Oh,” I said, feeling my face redden a little. “That’s entirely gross. I’m really sorry you had to come down and see me like this.”
“Don’t mention it,” he said. “You kind of freaked me out on the phone there, so I’m just glad that everything is okay and you’re home safely. You’ll probably just want to take it easy. Can I call you when I’m done with the day?”
“Yes,” I said. “Please do.”
He kissed my forehead and then got up and went into the bathroom. I could hear the water running, and after a moment, I got up and went in there, too. He helped me get undressed, and then get into the tub. The water felt cleansing, like it was going to wash away every bit of grime and nasty feeling I had on me.
“I’m not running this too deep,” he said, turning the water off. “I don’t want you to fall asleep and end up drowning.”
“I won’t. I don’t even really feel that drunk anymore. Now I just feel mortified.”
“Don’t. Everything’s okay. I’ll see you soon, all right?”
“Okay.”
To say I felt confused about all of this would be an understatement, but it did feel good to have Ben back in my life. I did believe him. I also wanted to believe Meredith, but now I wasn’t so sure. Had she just been pretending this whole time, acting like we were friends because she wanted to try to... to... well, I wasn’t even quite sure what it was she wanted to do. Sleep with Ben? It wasn’t like she was going to start going out with him or anything.
I thought about this as I soaked in the tub, and felt the griminess of the day wash away. But I could speculate for the rest of my life and probably never know for sure—the only way to be certain would be if I talked to Meredith directly. And again, I knew that calling would probably be a better option, but I felt that I needed to see her in person. Because I had to be able to look her in the eye and know if she was telling the truth.
I did feel much better when I got out of the bath, so I decided I’d just drop by her place. If she wasn’t home, then maybe I’d text later and ask her if we could meet up. I knew that this wasn’t what Ben had in mind when he’d said that I should take it easy, but I figured a walk wouldn’t really be that bad of an idea.
When I got to Meredith’s place, I rang the doorbell, and a few seconds later her voice came over the intercom. “Hey, Craig, be down in a sec!” The intercom clicked off before I could say who it was. I waited awkwardly on the front step, and saw first a look of confusion and then maybe disappointment cross Meredith’s face as she appeared in the lobby and saw that it was me, not Craig, standing at the front door.
“Oh, hey,” she said. “I thought you were someone
else. How’s it going?”
“Hi there,” I said. “Sorry—I didn’t mean to just drop by unannounced like this, and if you’re expecting someone then I won’t stay long. Um... would you mind if we went inside for a minute? I promise this really won’t take long.”
She looked over my shoulder, as if Craig might be lurking there somewhere behind me. “Uh... okay,” she said. “But it really can’t be for that long.”
I followed her inside to her apartment. She did not turn to go into the living room, but instead stood there in the small front entryway. Okay, I guess this was where we were going to have our talk. “Listen—there was something I wanted to ask you about. I know it’s going to sound a little weird, but... I saw that picture you posted of you and Ben.”
There was a pause and her face remained impassive; then it appeared a light bulb came on as she remembered what I was talking about. I couldn’t tell if that was all an act or she really hadn’t remembered right away. She was good. It wasn’t going to be as easy as I might’ve thought it would to tell if she was being dishonest. “Oh, yeah, that,” she said mildly. “You didn’t mind that I posted it, right?”
“Well... it’s a little weird. I mean, I had just told you that he and I had slept together.”
“Right, but you didn’t mention anything about you being exclusive.”
“I didn’t realize I had to.”
Meredith laughed, her tone clearly indicating how bad she felt for me that I would think this way.
“Of course you do, silly!” she said. “As someone who does not play the monogamy game, I most definitely need to be told who is off limits. And Ben didn’t make that very clear, so maybe you should talk to him and make sure the two of you get on the same page before you begin calling on me with all these accusations.” A hard note had crept into her voice, and I realized how right Ben was—she was nothing more than an entitled elitist who thought the world revolved around her.
“That was all bullshit, wasn’t it?” I said. “All that stuff you told me when we had hung out. About feeling some connection and everything.”
“I don’t even remember what you’re talking about.”
“Wait—what?” I couldn’t help but sound incredulous. Did she really have no idea? Had the whole incident just been some figment of my imagination? No. No, it had really happened. I knew that for a fact. “At Sweetleaf,” I said. “How we sat there for, like, over an hour, just talking? I felt like we had really made a connection there.”
“Oh, Teagan.” She laughed. “I get together with so many people, it’s impossible for me to keep it straight. I mean, really. There are so many things going on, all the time, and I try my best to be at as many of those things as I can. I mean—why wouldn’t I? I think it’s a little unreasonable of you to expect me to remember some conversation that we had weeks ago.”
“It wasn’t weeks ago,” I said, though after I said it, I wished I hadn’t. I had been fooled. I had allowed myself to believe everything she had said that night, when maybe I should have known better. “You know what you are?”
She looked at me, raised an eyebrow. “I do, actually, but I’d love to hear what you have to say.”
“You’re a selfish bitch.”
She laughed. She actually started laughing, like I had just told a joke instead of insulted her. But maybe it wasn’t an insult to her. Maybe she considered being told such a thing, by someone like me, actually more of a compliment.
“Oh, is that so?” she said.
“Yeah, it is. You have this opportunity to actually do good things—you have the time, the resources—but all you care about is yourself, and doing what you want, and going after other people’s men, just for the fun of it.”
“If other people’s men weren’t interested, it wouldn’t be a problem. But clearly their partners are lacking in something. Do you know what James always tells me after he hooks up with someone else? That it wasn’t nearly as good as if it had been with me. Sometimes, that he thought of me the whole time.” She had such a self-satisfied smirk on her face that all I wanted to do was go over there and slap it off. She took a step closer to me, then another, until there was barely any distance separating us. Up this close, I could see the fine lines on her face that her makeup couldn’t quite conceal, a small zit on her cheek that looked about ready to be squeezed. “Ben was probably thinking the same thing, too, that night we kissed.”
I knew for a fact that he wasn’t, and that should’ve been enough. But it seemed like some sort of power had taken over me, something beyond my control, and before I even really knew what was happening, I reached out and slapped her. Not hard, more like a tap, really, but I had never done anything like that before, and I think it shocked me as much as it shocked Meredith. Her hands flew up to her face and she cradled her cheek.
“Holy shit!” Her eyes bulged out of her head, and I had the absurd wish that I had my phone at the ready, to snap a portrait and post that to my account, for all to see. “Did you just hit me? Did you just assault me? In my own home? I should call the police.”
It must’ve been the alcohol, I told myself. There was no way in hell I would’ve done such a thing if I hadn’t been drinking; I wasn’t a violent person. Even though I had barely made contact with her at all.
“That was wrong of me,” I said. “And I apologize for doing that. I guess I just don’t understand why you would bother telling me all that stuff you did earlier, about how you and I had this amazing connection and you wanted us to be good friends, if you didn’t really feel that way. I would’ve been fine with things the way they were.”
“God, Teagan, do you know how fucking needy you sound? And how fucked up it is that you would come over my house without even bothering to get in touch first, and then fucking assault me after accusing me of not wanting to be your BFF. What the fuck—are you like a psycho or something? You and Elliott never should’ve broken up, because you make the perfect couple! Two psycho losers who totally deserve each other.” She shot me a look of disgust.
“Elliott?” I said. “Why are you even bringing him up? And I thought you were friends with him.”
“Again, another prime example of delusions of grandeur. James was like, sort of friends with him, for all of half a second. Enough time for him to bring you around. And I told James that we didn’t need to be friends with someone like Elliott, but sometimes James just doesn’t want to listen. Oh, he’s cool, he’s different, he marches to the beat of his own drum or some shit is what he used to tell me. I’m relieved that Elliott barely comes around anymore, but the unfortunate part of that is that you still do. So get the hell out of my house and don’t bother trying to invite yourself back over. As far as I’m concerned, you don’t exist anymore.”
“Wow,” I said. “We really are still in high school, aren’t we? I never invited myself to any of those get-togethers—the invitation was always extended to me. If you didn’t want me there, then that’s fine, you can tell me. I’d rather not be invited somewhere than be invited there if I’m not really wanted.”
“Just get out of my house!” Meredith snapped. “I’m not interested in hearing your pathetic attempts to justify or explain your disgusting behavior. You should really be ashamed of yourself, but I’m sure you’ll probably just go do something like post a picture of a bowl of fruit sitting on your counter.”
Of course there were a hundred more things I wanted to say to her, but I realized that nothing I said would matter. She had her mind made up, and even though she was wrong about so much, there wasn’t going to be any way that I could make her realize that.
“Fine,” I said. “I’ll go. But stay away from Ben, okay? He and I have talked and we’re back together. He’s not interested in you like that.”
She burst out laughing. “Oh, my God, Teagan, you really are so pathetic. Ben’s a big boy, and he can tell me that—if that’s how he really feels.”
“I just figured I’d mention it now, since I’m here.”
“Or what—you’re going to come hit me again? I’m not afraid of you, you know. You just might get hit back if you try it.”
“You don’t have to feel threatened by me. I’m not a violent—”
“That’s so funny that you would say that, seeing as you basically invite yourself over and then hit me. I think that is absolutely the definition of threatening. Now get out.”
I stood there a moment longer, the two of us looking at each other. The air crackled between us, but not in a good way. It was certainly one of the most uncomfortable situations I’d ever been in, and so, after another second, I turned and left. There was a guy coming up to the front step as I walked out, and I held the door for him. He was blond, clean-cut, and he gave me a smile which showcased his perfectly straight, white teeth.
“Hey, thanks,” he said as he walked through the open door. He could’ve been one of the building’s residents, but he looked vaguely familiar, like I had seen pictures of him on Meredith’s feed, and I knew this was Craig, and he was going to go up there and she’d tell him how I’d just assaulted her, and maybe she’d call the police, and then he’d fuck her brains out, just to make her feel all better. She’d probably forget about the whole thing before dinner tonight.
Chapter 24
Ben
Drew and I sat in the small waiting room at Hartley Restoration, waiting for the owner to finish up with a phone call so we could go in and talk to him about providing security services for a few of the higher-profile properties he was working on. There’d been some vandalism recently, people going in and trying to remove any and all copper they could get their hands on, and then the usual graffiti artists. We did a lot of work with various construction companies, so Drew knew exactly what he was going to say, so he was relaxed—for Drew—and seemed more interested in asking me about what had happened with Teagan earlier, which I had foolishly mentioned to him.
Parker Security Complete Series Page 92