“Thank you,” I said meekly.
Drew was trying to hold back his laughter as we walked back out into the parking lot. “Man, those ladies must deal with all sorts of shit, all day long,” he said. “They both looked like they wanted to bite your head off.”
I scoffed. “Surely that is not the most ridiculous question they have ever gotten. And it’s not like I was being rude or anything.”
I’d grabbed a map of the beaches and opened it after we were on the road again. Basically, all you had to do was take a left off of Main Street and you’d eventually find yourself at the beach.
We stopped at a little market and picked up a couple of snacks before driving for a little bit, picking a road then taking a left. We came to a fairly crowded parking lot at the end, though we were able to find a spot. I wasn’t sure if I should feel strange or not, getting my towel out of the car, my little bag with sunscreen and a magazine. Drew had the snacks. This really did feel like a vacation as we made our way through the parking lot and onto the beach.
It was different from the beaches on the West Coast, or at least the beaches I’d been to. First off, there was a ton of people in the water. Usually the only people you saw in the water on the West Coast were surfers or folks wearing wetsuits and swim caps, sometimes even flippers. But here, it was young, old, men, women. It helped that it was very warm, the air relatively still and the water calm. Much calmer than I’d expected.
“This is the bay,” Drew said. “It’s rougher on the ocean side. But I was reading about it before we came here, about how when it’s low tide, you can walk out for over a mile. The tide’s going out now, too, so we’ll get to see it if we stick around long enough.”
“I would like that,” I said, gazing across the beach. You could see the outline of the Cape, the land curving to my right, going up to make the forearm and the eventual fist, the tip of Cape Cod. There were no towering rocky cliffs or giant boulders. There was a jetty, though, and you could walk out on it, which was what several kids were doing right then. We were surrounded by people on their vacations, people who were away from the grind of their daily lives for a week or two, all these people flocking to sit on some sand and swim in the sea water.
Drew was also looking out at the sea, at all the people. “You know,” he said in a low voice, “it kind of feels like we’re in a scene from the movie Jaws.”
I bit back a snort of laughter because he was absolutely right: everything was so idyllic that it seemed only right for something like a giant shark fin to appear in the water.
We set our stuff down and I took off my sundress. The bathing suit I’d brought was a modest bikini, with a turquoise top and a purple bottom. I did not feel self-conscious about my body because yoga had taught me that having a strong, taken-care-of body was more important than anything else. I also knew that my body had benefited from the discipline of regular yoga practice, even if I hadn’t been doing as much of it recently as I should have been.
Being with Drew, though, made me feel like I looked even better. I was aware, as we walked to the water’s edge, of the way people looked at us; some would openly look over while others tried to be a bit more discreet about it. It also could have been Drew’s tattoos, which covered the length of both arms. Despite all the artwork, there was no way you couldn’t notice how sculpted and toned his upper arms were. Not in a bulging, veiny way, but a way that communicated just how strong he was. I’d been checked out before and had never given it much thought, unless the person in question said something vile along with the look—but it was hard not to be aware of it now.
“Oh, my God,” I said when we reached the water’s edge. I couldn’t believe how the water felt as it gently lapped against my toes. It was so warm.
It wasn’t bathwater-warm, but it was at the very least tepid, without a hint of cold. The sand was silky between my toes and the water was clear as we walked out—no seaweed, no debris.
We had to walk out a bit before we got to deep enough water to really swim, and it still wasn’t over our heads. I let my knees buckle and my body slide through the water. I stopped right before the water reached my ears, then stayed like that, feeling the saltwater sting on my lips. Drew dove straight in and splashed around, and then I slipped underneath completely and kicked through the water. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been swimming in the ocean like this. Maybe never.
***
When we finally left the beach, I was starving. We’d gone through the snacks we’d brought with us, but now I wanted real food, and a lot of it. My skin felt warm and a little sunburned, but it wasn’t uncomfortable—yet, anyway. I’d sleep well tonight, I could tell already.
We ended up going to one of the many fried-seafood places, and we both got a Fisherman’s Platter, which consisted of clams, scallops, and big pieces of fresh cod all dipped in batter and fried to perfection. They came atop a heap of French fries and a nice-sized portion of coleslaw, and once I’d added a little salt, a squeeze of lemon, and a little paper cup of ketchup for the fries, I started to eat and it was so good I wondered if I would be able to stop.
“Have I died and gone to heaven?” Drew asked as he licked his fingertips. “Because, holy shit, is this good.”
I would have agreed but my mouth was full of food, so I just nodded. Everything about today had been incredible and I didn’t want it to end. I also didn’t want to think about the fact that this whole experience was happening in the first place because we were supposed to be looking for Brandon and Ashleigh. That’s what this was about—it wasn’t about going to the beach and then feasting on delicious fried seafood. But we kind of deserved it, didn’t we? Didn’t we deserve a few fun experiences throughout this whole process? Because much of it hadn’t been fun. Hearing the truth from Skip about my parents’ deaths had not been fun. Reconnecting with Judd only to find out that he had lied to me had not been fun. Even visiting Drew’s friend Sebastian, while not terrible, had been awkward at times.
And right now, today, Drew and I had let all of that fall away and we’d focused on each other, and on doing what we wanted, enjoying our time together. My whole body buzzed with heat and warmth and salt and sun, and on top of that I was indulging in the most delicious meal I’d had ever had, with a person I found myself wanting to be around more and more. That was, perhaps, the most surprising thing to me out of all of this—just how much I liked Drew, and enjoyed being with him.
***
We spent the next two days driving all over the Cape. While Drew drove, I searched online, looking for anything that might include Brandon Lillie or Ashleigh Parker, or Ashleigh Lillie, or Ashleigh Parker-Lillie, or any combination of those. And of course people came up in my search, but it wasn’t the right people.
We spent considerable time at the coffee shop, hoping that they might just randomly show up. It did seem to be the place that locals and tourists alike went to, although I had a feeling there might’ve been another place that was really just for the locals or the people in the know. I might’ve even started to think that Brandon and Ashleigh weren’t even really here on the Cape, had it not been for the fact the barista had said he would give them our number. So that had to mean they were here—right? He wouldn’t just agree to do something like that if he had no idea who we were talking about, would he?
“Do you think we should ask him again?” I asked Drew. We were sitting outside, drinking cold-brew coffees, which were rich and smooth and quite good, especially on this humid day.
Drew cast a gaze toward the coffee shop, where a steady stream of people flowed in and out. “I don’t know,” he said. “Any other person, I’d probably be inclined to say yes, but that guy... he seemed to be the sort to take himself a little too seriously. Which leads me to think that if we go bother him about this any more, he’s just going to get even more indignant.”
“He’s really been the only one able to confirm that they’re here, though,” I said. “I mean, that postcard of Judd’s was from so lon
g ago. They may very well have been here but then decided to move on.”
“The thought’s crossed my mind, too. But... the guy did say he would give them my phone number. It doesn’t really make sense for him to say that if he has no idea who they are. I’m sort of running out of ideas, though. It’s not like we can just start going up to people’s houses and knocking on doors.” He paused. “Or can we? That would be weird—right?”
I considered this. If we really wanted to find them, then all options should be on the table. But it was hard to get behind that if we weren’t even sure whether or not they were really here.
“You know what?” I said as I stood up. “Wait here. I’m going to go talk to that guy.”
“Good luck,” Drew said. “Maybe it’ll go better if it’s just you.”
“Thanks.” I didn’t have high hopes, though, especially when I went back into the coffee shop and saw how busy it was. It wasn’t reasonable to expect this guy to stop and answer any questions I had, unless they were related to coffee, when they were this busy. I stood there at the end of the line for a few seconds before realizing that I didn’t see the guy behind the counter anymore. He appeared a moment later, carrying a bag of trash, came out from behind the counter and headed through a side door. I hurried after him, not caring that this was probably a little bit stalkerish.
I waited until he’d thrown the trash bag into the dumpster.
“Hey,” I said as he turned around, and he jumped.
“Jesus Christ!”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”
“That’s okay.” He looked at me more closely. “Wait a second... Where do I know you from?”
“I’m the person who was here a few days ago asking about Brandon and Ashleigh. And you said that you weren’t going to give us their contact info—which I totally understand—but you did say that you’d pass our info along to them, and if they wanted to get in touch with us, they would. See, I just figured that they would want to talk to us, and we haven’t heard from them yet, so I thought I’d ask you if you really gave them our number, or if you really even have any idea who we’re talking about.”
“You think I’m lying?”
“No. I mean, I really hope that you’re not lying. Can I explain something to you? Do you have a minute?”
“Not really.” But he didn’t make a move to go back into the coffee shop, and instead just folded his arms across his chest. “What exactly do you have to explain?”
“We came all the way out here from California. We’re looking for Brandon and Ashleigh because we’re family members and they both disappeared years ago. I was still a kid. And I haven’t heard from Brandon since, and I’d just really like to see him. We were close.”
“If you were so close, why wouldn’t he tell you where he was going?”
“I don’t know. There’s a lot of unanswered questions with all of this, and that’s part of the reason why we want to find them. Having someone just vanish from your life like that isn’t easy.”
The guy took a deep breath and then sighed. “I don’t imagine it would be,” he said. “Fortunately, I don’t have any personal experience with it. Listen. I haven’t given your number to either of them because they haven’t been in since you were. Or they came in when I wasn’t working—I’m not here every waking hour, despite how it might feel. But if and when I see them, I will give them your info. I told you I would.”
“If and when,” I repeated. “So… maybe never.”
“It’s not like I’m never going to see them again.”
“But it could be a while. Weeks, maybe, if they don’t happen to come in here when you’re working. Or maybe they even do come in when you’re working, but you’re helping other customers, or you’re out here throwing the trash away, or you’re in the bathroom or something... I don’t know. There’s a million different things that might happen that could prevent you from giving them our info. It’s not like we live here; we’re going to be heading back to California soon.”
“You’re telling me that you came all the way out here just to find them? How did you even know they were out here if you haven’t been in touch for so long?”
“It’s a long story. A really long story. Let’s just say that certain things happened that made me think that finding them would be more possible now than it ever was. Like, things aligned how they should.”
“And that guy you were with?”
“He’s Ashleigh’s older brother. Brandon’s my cousin. We both just want to see them again, and Brandon did send his friend Judd a postcard a while ago saying that they were here. Which is why we’re here. And you’re the only person who has really confirmed that they are still around.”
I could see that my words were having some impact on him, though it was hard to tell if it was going to be enough.
“Please?” I said. “Would you please help us just a little bit?”
He rubbed a hand across the lower part of his face and looked off into the distance for a moment before looking back at me. “I don’t feel comfortable giving their personal information to you. I really don’t. And this isn’t something that I want to get in the middle of. I will give them your phone number if I see them, like I said. I usually see them every week, so I don’t think you’ll be waiting that long.”
My heart sank a little. We were basically right back where we had started.
“And,” he continued, “I will tell you that they go to Cormier Park a lot. That might be a good place to just hang out, if you’re hoping to run into them.”
“Cormier Park?” I said. “Thank you. Really, thank you for telling me that.”
“No problem. It’s a nice place. Their kids really like it. And now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back inside; we’re slammed.”
Their kids?
I just stood there, his words reverberating through my head. It was silly to think that they wouldn’t have kids, but it still came as a shock nonetheless.
“I take it that didn’t go so well,” Drew said when I finally made my way back over to him. I sat down and had a long sip of my coffee.
“Um... well, I think we were at least able to establish the fact that they’re here. They are on the Cape. And then he wouldn’t agree to give us their contact info or anything, and kept saying that he would pass our information along when he saw them next, but... he did also tell me that they go to Cormier Park a lot.” I paused. “With their kids.”
I tried to gauge Drew’s reaction to see if this news surprised him as much as it surprised me, but his face remained relatively impassive.
“Cormier Park,” he said. “I’ll have to look that up.”
“Did you hear that part where I mentioned their kids?”
“I did.”
“You don’t seem nearly as shocked as I felt when I heard that.”
He shook his empty coffee cup, rattling the ice around. “At this point, I’m not sure anything would surprise me anymore. It sounds like we should go hang out at the park for the rest of the day. Is that what you’re telling me?”
“That’s the best I could get from that guy. So, yeah. Either that or start knocking on doors.”
“The park it is.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Let’s just look it up and figure out how to get there.”
It wasn’t far from where we were. I brought the rest of my coffee with me and we got in the car and headed off. I felt strangely nervous as we drove, and I said as much to Drew.
“Is that weird?” I asked.
“No, I don’t think so. I kind of feel the same way. Because if this doesn’t work, then we’re kind of at the end of the road here. I’m down for staying a little longer, but... maybe after that it really is time to give this up. To know that we tried but, for whatever reason, it just wasn’t supposed to work out like we had hoped.”
Cormier Park was a big, sloping field with a playground section on the flat part and walking trails that eventually led
to the beach, far off in the distance. There were benches and picnic tables dotted throughout, and a gazebo near the middle of the field. We started to walk toward the playground.
And as we got closer, I saw them. I knew it even from a distance where I couldn’t know it—I did. The closer we got, the clearer it became that I was right.
There they were. Even if I’d never seen a photograph of Ashleigh, I would’ve known it was her because of how similar she and Drew looked. She didn’t have the spiky, colored hair that I’d seen in the pictures, though—her hair was actually rather long now, well past her shoulders, a brilliant chestnut with golden highlights. She was wearing a long skirt and a gray T-shirt with a neon-yellow octopus screen-printed on it. And Brandon... my heart skipped a beat because I couldn’t quite believe my eyes. They hadn’t noticed us, and I was aware of Drew next to me, both of us frozen there, watching these two people whom we hadn’t seen in so many years, these two people we’d thought we might never see again. Yet here they were.
Chapter 27
Drew
How many times had I played the scene over in my head, what I would do if I were to see Ashleigh again? Hundreds, maybe thousands of times, all different variations on the same theme. What did stay the same, though, was I knew that if I ever saw Ashleigh again, I would run over to her and give her a big hug. That would be the first thing.
But now that I was faced with this reality, the reality that there she was in front of me, I couldn’t move. I could only stand there, frozen to the ground, and watch as she carried on like it was just any old day.
She looked different, but also the same. And that guy with her... that must’ve been Brandon. I knew it was, even though I had never seen a picture of him before, because I could sense Gwen frozen next to me, watching him the way I was watching my sister. And those two children, a boy and a girl, the boy around eight, the girl probably a year or two younger. Were they theirs? They must be, and that made my heart hurt, watching them, thinking about this whole life that Ashleigh had that she’d never had any desire to share with me.
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