by Megan Duncan
I sat a moment just watching everyone slowly make their way in and out of the tomb. I felt Arrick’s presence nearby, but he gave me my space, yet was still staying close enough that I could sense him, or call out if I needed him. Which could happen very soon. I wasn’t sure my limbs would allow me to make the steps needed to pass through the threshold of the crypt. As soon as I entered that tomb there would be no going back. I would have to accept that those we lost were truly gone, and they’d never be with us again. My heart would no longer be able to play tricks on my mind, pretending there was hope for them. Pretending that Nyx would perform some miracle and bring them back to us. My mind knew that wasn’t going to happen, but my heart just wouldn’t let it go.
Eerie tingles ran across my skin and my instincts felt eyes penetrating through me. It wasn’t Arrick, I knew his gaze intimately, nor was it any other vampire for that matter. This felt different, it pierced straight through me making my heart beat faster and cry out with sorrow a thousand times more powerfully than any sadness I’d ever felt. I turned my head and locked eyes with the statue that stood beside me. My heart somersaulted in my chest and I stumbled out of my seat. Nyx’s head had turned in my direction. Horror was written on her stone face, as her emotions slammed into my chest like a train. A scream caught in my throat. Nyx’s pain was more than I could bear. Burning heat grew like wildfire in my body and any second I knew I was going to explode into flames. I closed my eyes tight, fear crippling me as I leaned my back against the bench. Was Nyx angry with me for what happened? Did she blame me? Was this my punishment? All these questions rampaged through my head until everything suddenly stopped.
“Claire! What happened?”
I was in Arrick’s arms and back on the bench. I squirmed out of his embrace and stepped frantically away from the statue, but it was back to normal. Nyx’s face retained the solemn gaze toward the crypt entrance. She wasn’t looking at me. Had she even moved at all, or had it all been in my head?
I fell onto another bench; this one more crumbled than the last, and scanned the vampires around me. Some of them gazed at me curiously, others seemed to find my outburst offensive, and glared openly. Arrick walked over and knelt before me. He pulled a tissue out of his shirt pocket and began dabbing my face. Sweat and tears mingled across my cheeks.
“Are you all right?” He took my hands in his and kissed them until I stopped shaking.
“I don’t know.” I placed my hands on my chest and tried to catch my breath. The stones under my dress were warm against my skin. Maybe I shouldn’t have worn them, but I hated taking them off. I hated being away from them. I knew it was strange, and Arrick worried about me, but the stones and I were somehow connected. “I felt someone watching me and when I looked up the statue of Nyx was turned to me. She was screaming in pain. I could feel her inside me.” I covered my face with my hands. I sounded like a crazy woman. Talking statue? Maybe I really was losing it.
Arrick turned toward the statue of Nyx a growl building in his chest like he’d kick that statue’s butt if he had to. It was almost comical. This man, this blood mate, would protect me from anything, even my own wild imagination.
I placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’m okay, Arrick. I think I just let my emotions get the best of me.” I smiled weakly.
“You? Let your emotions get the best of you? Such a thing could never happen.” His sarcastic smile broke through the last trembles of my nerves and warmed me through and through. “This is why I fear so much that you hold everything in. Feel, Claire.” He placed his hand on my chest just above my heart.
“But I don’t want to. It’s easier if I just block it all away.”
“It might be easier now, but it will cause you more pain in the end.” He looked away and lifted my Astraia flower from the ground. “Here.” The luminescent light was starting to fade. I took it from him and touched the petals gently. “Time heals all wounds, Claire. But they will not mend if you do not allow them to bleed.” He lowered the hood of my cloak and brushed the hair from my brow before placing a gentle kiss there. “I think there is someone who needs you.”
I looked in the direction in which he had turned his gaze and found Robin, struggling to walk into the tomb. Without another thought I made my way to her. Tears spilled down my cheeks of their own accord as I pulled my friends hand into mine. She didn’t jump at my sudden touch, but squeezed back with the fierce strength she’d always possessed. Our eyes met, both red and swollen with tears, speaking more than any words could ever express. We would get through this together. I might be fighting the sorrow with every fiber of my being, but I wasn’t going to allow her to fight her’s alone. The walls around my heart crumbled and the flood gates released. Robin and I walked hand in hand into the tomb. Neither of us were ready to say goodbye, but it was the only way we’d be able to overcome the grief.
The roots of the ancient trees weaved through the stone walls of the crypt like spider webs, yet somehow it made it comforting. The smell of moss and earth filled the small confines and filled my nostrils. It wasn’t at all as horrifying as I’d thought it would be. The sight of the plant-life gave a small twinkle of hope in an otherwise heartbreaking place. The narrow hallway sloped down into an expansive room. Torches hung from sconces on the walls and lit the area with a brilliant warm glow, muffling the sounds of sobs with their crackling light. Robin shuddered as we weaved through the mourners. Several archways dotted the walls around the room, leading down other confined passageways. In the center of the room stood a massive statue that reached from floor to ceiling. It acted as a pillar and a focal point. The mourners gathered around it, and from the glow emanating upward I could tell that was where we needed to go.
I hesitated for a moment when I saw Nyx’s face carved into the stone. Even though her gaze was cast downward I still feared she’d look up at me. I felt ridiculous for fearing her. My belief in her had done nothing but help me in the past.
Her expression was chiseled to display a deep sense of melancholy. Nyx’s hands were cupped under her face, and tears dripped from them to a pool at her feet. I marveled for a moment at the magic of such a sight, but realized it was probably a fountain. Yet, that fact still did not change the message the image represented. Nyx was weeping for her lost children. Unlike at the temple in Naos, this water wasn’t crystal clear. It was dark and limitless like the night sky.
Robin and I approached, looking down into the pool, watching the flowers floating in the murky water. They twinkled like stars in the night sky, like the souls sparkling inside every one of us. Together, we gently dropped our flowers into the water and watched them mingle with the others. Even though I hadn’t decided if I was crazy, or if Nyx had tried to send me some kind of message, I whispered a quick prayer as my fingers dipped into the water and released the flower.
“My father always wondered what happened when we died. He had so many books on the afterlife and the realm of Nyx. Now he’ll finally know the truth.” Robin’s words were full of sorrow, but her tears had subsided. I hugged her and she rested her head on my shoulder. “Do you think it’s true what they say, Claire? That our spirits live forever, even after our bodies have turned to dust?”
“I do. Nyx wouldn’t have made a soul as bright as your father’s to let it flicker away. Something that beautiful can never fade.”
Robin smiled up at me. “I think so, too. I never gave much thought about dying. Not until now. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that I could come here and talk to him. Maybe he’ll hear me.”
“Our souls are always connected to us and the ones we love,” Arrick said as he sat beside us and placed a comforting hand on Robin’s shoulder. “The children of the goddess are laid to rest here so that their souls may visit this plane and hear the prayers and words of their loved ones. Your father’s body may be gone, but his soul will never die.” His words were full of sympathy, yet there was strength in them. I could feel his conviction.
“Thank you.” Robin patted
his hand. “I’m going to go say goodbye.” Arrick and I nodded as she stood up and walked toward her mother on the other side of the room. Mara rested her head against the wall, her fingers caressing a carving that I couldn’t quite make out in the dim light or through the fog of tears that still clung to my lashes.
Arrick guided me back out toward the tomb entrance and to an empty stone bench, different from where I’d sat before. Tonight had been harder than I had expected. Not just because of the pain I felt, but seeing the anguish in the ones I cared about. Every vampire around me had lost someone.
A face I recognized caught my attention across the expanse of the tomb courtyard. It was the young vampire who’d danced with Robin at my coronation ball. He was consoling a girl beside him. They looked like they could be related. They shared the same high cheek bones and dimpled chins. She was probably his sister, but the sight of the two of them standing alone sobbing meant only one thing. They’d probably lost both their parents. I could see him fighting back his own tears, trying to be strong as his sister whimpered on his shoulder.
Suddenly my anger was pumping through my veins and my hands flew to my chest, grasping the stones that lie hidden. “I’m going to make Baal pay for this.” I growled through clenched teeth.
Arrick tugged softly at my wrists, trying to pull my hands away. “Just not today, Claire. Control your anger.”
“I am controlling it, but I refuse to deny it.”
Okay, maybe I wasn’t controlling it. My future had more than one battle in it, the battle with Baal and his legion of dark vampires, and the battle within myself. Arrick had to be sick of always trying to calm me whenever I let myself get heated, which was pretty often.
“I’m not asking you to deny it. I can taste the vengeance you crave. I can feel the hatred sweltering in your heart. Baal will pay for his crimes. I promise you.” A hint of anger lingered on the edge of his voice. I hadn’t thought he could be as angry as I, but maybe he could mask it better. “I will fight beside you, Claire. No matter what, I’ll help you stop him or die trying.” The certainty in his tone was undeniable. Arrick was pledging an oath to me.
“As will I.” Robin’s voice was so deep with fervor I hardly recognized her. I looked up, startled to see not just the torment in her features, but the rage in her eyes. That wasn’t something I wanted to see.
“No, Robin. I need you to stay safe. I couldn’t stand it if something happened to you.”
She took a seat beside me, dropping her hood and taking my hand. Her red curls stuck in tendrils to the tears on her cheeks. She was pale; paler than any vampire would normally be. Dark circles had formed under her eyes and her body looked frail. All our bodies looked frail. The fasting was beginning to take a toll on us.
“And I couldn’t stand it if I let others fight for me. I have to do this, Claire. Not just for me, or for you, but for my father. I won’t let his death be in vain.”
“I won’t let that happen. I promise.” I pulled her into my arms and held her to me as tightly as I could. I didn’t know how, but I knew there had to be a way. No one was unstoppable. There had to be a way to stop Baal; we just had to figure out what it was.
“I want to go with you to Naos. I don’t want to stay here anymore.”
I pulled Robin away from my chest and looked into her eyes. “Are you sure?”
She nodded.
“Let her go,” Mara spoke up. She was sitting a few feet away, a black lace veil shrouding her face. “She will be safer there. There is nothing left for her here.”
Robin began to shudder, so I rubbed her back to comfort her. “What about you?” I asked Mara. Surely, she didn’t plan on staying here. Was she really just casting her daughter away; the only family she had left?
“I will stay with my husband.” There was cold finality in her words.
“But…” I blurted out to protest, but Arrick put his hand on mine and shook his head.
“Leave her be,” he said.
I could only shake my head as Robin began to sob softly. She’d lost her father, and now, in a way she’d lost her mother, too. I knew the loss of a mate was brutal for vampires, but I never quite understood how much until now. Mara would never let Edgar go, and she’d never be able to go back to who she was. Was this what happened to Ana? She was already a monster before Luka died, and it only amplified after his death. After I killed him.
I continued rubbing Robin’s back as she steadied her breathing. Maybe it was better for her to come to Naos than to stay here and watch her mother turn into a shadow of her former self. At least in Naos I could make sure she was protected.
My eyes traveled across the vampires around us as they gathered in small groups, shuffling slowly in and out of the tomb, and others beginning to filter back up the stairs looking completely weakened. The energy needed for the evening seemed to have drained them. The young vampire I’d recognized earlier with his sister was guiding her back up the stairs of the crypt, allowing her to rest all her weight against him. I watched his jaw clench with effort to hold her up, his muscles straining to comply. It normally took a lot of exertion to tire a vampire, but with such a long time since drinking blood it didn’t take much.
The crowd of mourners broke away to reveal Nicolae standing alone. I ground my teeth to keep from growling, but failed to prevent my fangs from stabbing into my lips. Luckily, they didn’t draw blood. He was standing off to the side, looking completely catatonic. He should be comforting his fellow vampires, telling them he will avenge their loved ones; that he will stop Baal from harming anyone again. Arrick might want me to control my anger, and he might also be right, but this I couldn’t stand for.
Before Arrick could react to the fury he was no doubt starting to sense within me, I bolted from my seat like a jack rabbit. I marched toward Nicolae with fierce determination to give him a piece of my mind. I’d been easy on him for everything, but not anymore. I’d overlooked his wrong doings because I couldn’t let go of the few memories I had when I had thought he was my father. Now that I knew my real father, I knew he’d never stand aside when others suffered around him. No, Nicolae wasn’t even half the man my father was.
“You!” I hissed the words like an angry cat. My attack was assembling inside me. I was ready to call him out on everything. Every dirty deed, every shameful act. He wouldn’t be able to hide from any of it. Arrick appeared by my side with lightning speed, but he didn’t hold me back as I had expected. He just stood like a guardian beside his princess ready to defend her and aid her in any way she needed.
Nicolae’s eyes fell slowly to me, and the vacant stare that I had thought I saw was nowhere to be found. Nor was the vampire I had once known. What stood before me was a broken shell, a fallen king with no will to go on. I could feel my wrath begin to dwindle as surprise and confusion snuffed it out.
“Forgive me,” Nicolae begged, his voice wavering with emotion and guilt.
I stepped away as he reached for my hand, a single tear falling down his cheek. I didn’t want to forgive him, but could I really refuse him? This man, this vampire, this king, was begging my forgiveness. Who was I to say no?
“You’re a monster.” I whispered the words, but was still able to express the ire I felt. “You had me kidnapped. You allowed me to live a lie my entire human existence. You risked my life when you knew others were vying for your throne. You knew didn’t you?” He blinked miserably at me, unshed tears threatening to fall. “You knew all along that the threat of The Dark returning was possible?”
Gasps and whispers fluttered behind me, but I ignored them. I might have decided that I would try to forgive Nicolae but there was only one way I could do that. He had to admit to everything. He had to confess his guilt, and beg Nyx for forgiveness; not me.
“No.” He swallowed hard and took a deep, wavering breath before continuing. “I didn’t know The Dark was coming. I knew Ana and her family was after my throne, but I never would have imagined in my worst nightmares that they’d attempt
what they did.”
“They almost succeeded,” Arrick replied in a growl beside me.
“I’m sorry.” He sighed at Arrick then looked back toward me. “Their thirst for power was stronger than I had ever expected.”
I could only shake my head. Claiming ignorance didn’t sit well with me. He was the king, he should’ve known everything. Especially when it came to the royal family and those in it.
“And what about me? You didn’t know I was Cathair and Ione’s daughter?”
“I knew,” he admitted, his head hung low.
Anger was storming inside me. He knew! He knew all along and he still took me. I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. How could anyone be so cruel, so evil as to steal a baby; a helpless, innocent child?
“Why?” Arrick wrapped his arm around me as I shook with pain and anger.
“The only way to keep Lilith and Samael from openly attacking the throne was to reestablish my power. Without that, I would lose the support of the other vampires in the region. They wouldn’t stand beside me should Lilith and Samael execute their plan to steal the throne.”
“You knew they were plotting against you. Why didn’t you just simply have them killed?” Arrick tried to keep the level of his voice down. Several of the vampires around us were attempting to listen in, while others shifted away; uncomfortable with the conversation or unable to handle whatever truths might be revealed.
Nicolae’s face lost its sadness and filled with regret. “I thought that I could change their mind. I hoped they would see reason. When I took my role as king I vowed an end to the killing, to death. I wanted to avoid it at any cost.” His face hardened at Arrick, but grew soft again when he looked at me. “I thought I could give you a good life, Claire. You are loved more than you’ll ever know.” His eyes drifted away from me, so I followed them.
Evilyn sat at a lone bench in the far corner of the courtyard. The hood of her cloak had remained draped over her face, but the light of the Astraia flower that she still held in her hands illuminated her ruby red lips. A long braid woven with black velvety ribbons spilled out of her hood.