I’d bought this home for a couple of reasons. Ones that I hadn’t shared with Jurnee yet, and after last night, I was a little afraid to do that. Growing up in the house Alley and I had lived in with our parents was not a child’s dream—it certainly hadn’t been mine. We didn’t have much money and my parents, if you could call them that, didn’t care at all about it, not as long as they had enough for their recreational vices. They didn't care about us either, for that matter. For me, it wasn’t about the money though; it was the lack of love they showed their children and how we were treated as a result. We could have been the poorest people around, but if we had been cared for, and loved as two little kids should’ve, then it would have been okay somehow.
That wasn’t the case at all.
This brings me back to the reasons I got the house. First of all, I could afford it, and not having a real home early on, I guess I needed to prove I could have it now, and someday provide for a family the way my parents hadn’t. And that I had accomplished it all on my own, without their support, help, or direction. I had saved every penny I could while I was in the military, but I had also made some great investments. Ones that had paid off immensely, and allowed for me to buy my home, and also start the business. Second, I wanted a place Alley always could come to if she ever needed it. Then third, was the one I was afraid to confess to Jurnee because I didn’t want to see any more sorrow in those pretty brown eyes of hers, but the truth was, I wanted to fill it with a wife and kids. It was my main thought when I’d purchased the place, even if I didn’t have a clue when such a dream might happen. Jurnee took me by storm though and surprised me, and I was already thinking about making it happen. With her, I could do this the right way.
My parents had shown me everything not to do.
And after hearing about Jurnee’s childhood I knew she desperately wanted the same, but wrongfully thought she would ever get that. Thinking she couldn’t have biological children and being scared to put herself out there, for fear the cancer would come back, terrified her. But the possibility that even adoption would be difficult really dug deep.
One thing I knew for certain was that I didn’t care how I came about getting the family I dreamed of—I just knew I wanted it with her. If she could never get pregnant, we would adopt and wouldn’t love those children any less than if she’d given birth to them herself. I wasn’t sure she’d believe me when I told her all this, but I planned to anyway.
I would just have to make her understand because she was it for me.
Also at the forefront of my mind was how important Embry was to her. All the kids at Hopeful Jurnee were, but she’d explained the bond she and the little beauty had with each other. If I could convince her to let me help, and the time ever came that Embry could be adopted, then I was going to do everything in my power to make sure those two ended up together.
My thoughts and feelings were fierce, they may also have happened sooner than some could comprehend, but as I said before when I know what I want I go for it. My mind wandered to Jurnee, Embry, and everything else as I finished up around the house, and I was thankful to see that it was time to get ready so I could pick up my lady.
After picking up Jurnee, we headed to dinner and were seated at one of her favorite places. Sitting across from me, which was too far away for my liking, she stared at the menu. No matter how many times I saw her, she got more beautiful each and every time.
She was everything.
Just looking at her had my groin coming to life. While I adjusted myself a bit and hoped nobody noticed me doing so, I must have made a noise.
Jurnee looked up, eyes sparkling, cheeks flushed pink as if she knew exactly what was going on. No doubt she did, because it seemed to always happen when she was near me. Not commenting, she looked back down at the menu, a knowing smile on her beautiful face. I loved seeing it and that dimple on her chin. Every time I saw either, my face lit up and my hand itched to touch her there.
“So, babe, do I even have to ask what you're having? You know darn good and well that you're getting the taco combo, it’s the same thing you did the last few times we came and you said you’re kinda boring and never change it up. But, just for the record, I don’t think you're boring at all. I mean you were the one slapping my ass last night were you not?” Giving her a sexy smirk, I prepared myself for what would come next.
Looking back up again, it was obvious she was shocked as shit I had said that, but then she bunched up her napkin and tossed it in my face. Laughing aloud, I had everyone in the restaurant turning to look our way. I didn’t care one bit, I loved the playful side of Jurnee. In fact, I loved everything about her.
“Fine, be a smartass. I will have my usual. And for the record that was me who smacked your very fine behind, and I’d gladly do it again.” Then she had given me her own sassy look, and fuck it was sexy.
“I thought so and I will be looking forward to it,” I said, laughing once again.
We ate, talked about work, and what we had coming up. I planned to spend as much time with her as I could, schedules permitting. A thought popped into my head, but I worried rushing things would send her running for the hills. My mouth, however, didn’t get the memo, and the words popped out before I could stop them.
“If you lived with me, we could see each other a lot more.” Saying it aloud, I knew it was what I wanted, but I also didn’t want to make Jurnee uncomfortable. Her fork clattered to her plate and her mouth fell open, but unlike me seconds ago, no words came out. Amid the silence, I decided to just let her think for a minute, and not rush her, because I was curious about what she had going through her head. And even though I may not like the answer she gave, I was going to listen to her.
A few minutes passed and finally, Jurnee spoke. “You were just kidding, right?”
“Jurnee…” I started to speak and shook my head no as I answered her question at the same time. “I would not say something of that magnitude and not mean it. I know it’s fast, but if you said yes, I would be damn lucky.”
Again, with the fish face. I was trying not to laugh, but she looked stunned and so damn cute. Worrying she really was going to make a mad dash for the door, I needed to reassure her of how I felt, but that I also wasn’t going anywhere, no matter what her choice was.
“I meant what I said, babe, but I’m not rushing you either. I would love nothing more than to have you in my space. That house was made for a family.” Shit, now those words were going to cause her to coil back up and hide. I saw her start to close down the moment they’d left my lips. I didn’t mean for them to have the direct hit they did, but I could see what she was thinking, along with how her heart was bleeding. We needed to get out of here and talk.
Quickly asking for the check and paying, I slid out of the booth and put out my hand to a silent Jurnee. Even stunned and unsure, she grabbed it, which made me feel marginally better. It was time we had that heart to heart I mentioned earlier. Then she could determine what she was ready for and where things were going.
In the end, I would be there no matter what.
Jurnee
A family. He said the house was meant for a family. Something I more than likely couldn’t give him. I may not have known this exactly, but the chances were slim that I would be able to. Between that and the possibility that the cancer could one day return, it was time I turned, and quickly walked away.
It will kill me to let him go.
We walked toward the park that was close by, which brought back memories of our first date. Tears formed in my eyes and I was helpless to stop them from spilling over. Braxton never let go of my hand, and I wanted to keep mine in his forever, so I would never lose him. I wasn’t sure I could handle seeing him when he was around Alley, possibly with another woman, and knowing it could have been my life if things had been different.
Coming to a stop near a wooden bench that had seen better days, and one I wasn’t sure would even hold us, Braxton sat and pulled me down beside him. He turned his b
ody toward mine and using his free hand, he gently cupped my face and turned mine, so I was looking straight into his hypnotic eyes.
“Please don’t cry,” he whispered, as his thumbs caressed my cheeks. “I can’t stand to see the tears. We need to talk about this, and I want you to hear me out first, okay?”
Nodding my head, because I couldn’t speak over the lump of pain in my throat, he carried on.
“Don’t think, let all the worries fade for just a minute and just tell me straight up, is the idea of living with me so bad? I know it’s fast and I realize we just reconnected on a completely different level than what we’d known before. But based on how you feel about me right now, what would your answer be?”
A whispered, “Yes,” slid around my clogged emotions. “But—” I was cut off from going any further when Braxton placed a finger over my trembling lips.
“No buts. Your heart just told me the answer I wanted to hear, and I think we should talk about that. Being scared is natural, and I know you have your reasons, but baby, it will be okay no matter what. I will do everything I can to make you happy. You just have to let me try.”
This was crazy talk.
“You don’t know that,” I blurted out a little frantically. “How can you know that? You just said that the amazing home you bought was made for a family and you heard what I told you last night.” More tears fell down my cheeks and my heart cracked into tiny pieces at my words.
“We talked about this a little last night.” Gathering her up, I pulled her into my lap, needing her as close as possible. “I know you're scared and unsure what the future will bring when it comes to kids, but I’m not. Whatever is right will happen for us, and I have never in my life felt like this, and I want to take these steps with you. Only you.”
How can I say yes truly? Knowing what he would potentially be risking. But I want to so desperately.
I wasn’t sure I would ever find my way back, breadcrumbs be damned. Not that I truly wanted to. This is what I’d wanted forever, and somehow, I needed to take the leap. It may be a long fall, but this next journey for me could end up being my happily ever after.
Who could give that up, right?
Wait, am I seriously considering this?
A frustrated sound left my mouth as the kiss came to an end. I wanted more. The slight breeze in the air had his scent swirling around us as his hand gently caressed my cheek. His other had never left mine but had pulled our joined ones up over his heart.
“Do you feel that, Dimples? If the pounding you feel under the palm of your hand is any indication of just how right we are, and how much you mean to me, then leap with me.”
Wow, was he reading my mind now? Wasn’t I just thinking that leaping was exactly what I needed to do? I just hoped the girls would understand.
It was time for this little one to leave the nest.
“I want to try.” I was sure how I felt about this man, even if I were unsure what would come of it.
“Really, you’ll move in with me?”
“Brax, I’ve loved you since I was twelve-years-old. I know that at that age it was just a crush and that I didn’t understand what true love was. What I did know was what an amazing brother you were, along with a great friend, and overall a nice guy. What I feel now is totally different than what I did back then, and I love you more today than that little girl knew was even possible. So, yes, I want to move in with you. Just let me talk to the girls because it's a big adjustment.”
He quickly dropped my hand, jumped up from the bench, and plucked me up too. Spinning me around in circles, with a whoop, I tried not to get dizzy. Laughing with glee like a crazy-sounding hyena, I soaked up the feel of what being around Braxton would bring to my daily life.
With my decision made, now I just had to tell the girls. Not to mention, figuring out exactly what living with a man meant. We stopped twirling, and our eyes met.
“You have made me the happiest man in the world. Plus, now I get a lot of dessert.” He had the nerve to give me one of his sexy winks. What was a girl to do?
Duh, I attacked his mouth.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Jurnee
This was going to be hard.
I’d asked the girls if we could talk tonight after everyone got home. I was spending the day attending a special event at the hospital in the cancer wing. Then I planned to go by Braxton’s work to finally check out his and Gyth’s place, before heading off to Hopeful Jurnee to check on a few things before I would have time to sit down with my besties. I had a feeling that by the time I was done, I was going to be emotionally spent. The one awesome thing in today’s events was that Brax had asked to come with me to the hospital. He wanted to see that part of my world, and it made me happy inside that he did.
But leaving the house the girls and I have had together for so long, would be bittersweet. I would miss them so damn much and yet I was practically bouncing like a crazy ball at the prospect of moving into Braxton’s place. One night and I was already over the moon in love with him, the house, and the idea of what our future could hold. Although, the love had always been there in some form or another.
Please let it be okay.
Alley and Summer didn’t know what I wanted to chat about, and I wasn’t sure if they had an inkling of a clue, but I hoped they wouldn’t think I was one hundred percent crazy for moving so fast. Like, strap me in a straitjacket and toss me into a padded room kind of crazy. Growing up sick, lonely, abandoned, and sad, taught me two things that truly contradict one another. First, it taught me to never expect anything or assume life would bring me happiness, that heartache was just around the corner, and to be cautious. Second, life could be short and you didn’t know how long you had, so don’t hold back and wait, just jump into the deep end with both feet. Happiness is what you make it.
Anyone who knew me well was aware that the two were always at war with one another in my life. I had done both, but this time I wasn’t just jumping cautiously. This time, I was doing a huge cannonball off the board, straight into the deepest end of the pool of life.
And I prayed I’d come up for air.
Heading out the door, I didn’t bother to pop in on Alley, or she may throw something at me. She was in the middle of edits on her book and I knew better than to step foot in her space during that time. The girl drank a shit load of coffee, was always talking to herself and when she began each round of edits she had to buy a new stress ball because the one before was worn out. This was one of her least favorite aspects of her career. Although, she’d probably also say that writing her blurb was a close second.
As I walked to the car, I took a deep breath of fresh, crispy morning air. It wasn’t super cold, but there was a slight chill still and a few sprinkles of rain coming down. It was a good thing I had thrown on a light jacket. Jumping in my cute Mazda, which probably could’ve used a trade-in even though I didn’t want to part with it, I cracked the window, started the engine, and took off towards the hospital. Brax was meeting me there. I was curious about how he would act around the ill kids. Some people were great, and others didn’t know how to act around the little ones at all.
For the children, it was all about someone who cared and wanted to spend time with them. Their pale little faces as sick as they were, still lit up every time, showing the happiness that it brought to them.
When I got there, the place was hopping with people, buzzing around this way and that. Staff were everywhere, and kids indulged in some treats they didn’t get very often these days while playing games all over the spacious room where everything was set up.
There had recently been some very substantial donations to the children’s cancer center that allowed for some remodeling, new equipment, and some upgrades that were needed to care for the children better. It was amazing to not only witness it happen but to be a part of it all. And today, the kids were getting their own little mini carnival to celebrate.
I jumped right in helping with anything I could an
d playing with the kids. Parents and siblings of sick little ones had taken a little time off work or school, to spend this time with their family members. It was a beautiful sight to see.
Even if it was a tad bit sad.
Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t be happier for every child there because I knew they had the love and support they needed right now. I had witnessed that day in and day out while volunteering, the devotion that their families had to taking care of them, and just being present. It was just that sometimes I couldn’t escape the flashback to my time in the hospital where I’d needed that same love and care too, but had never got it.
If I was ever lucky enough to have children someday, I knew deep down in my soul I would never abandon them, always support them in any situation, and that I would love them to the moon and back.
With that thought, a sweet little angel's face appeared in my mind. I swear I heard a light whisper, and her name tickled my ear. Embry...
Then my attention from that thought was pulled as my body tingled with awareness and I turned slightly to see Brax headed my way. I should’ve been jealous that all the nurses seemed to notice him too, but I couldn’t really blame them. He was wearing black jeans, with another fitted t-shirt—God I love witnessing his sculpted chest even through his shirt—and a black leather jacket, along with boots. He was a tantalizing sight to see. Holy shit, it was as if suddenly someone threw a bucket of cold water on me as an unexpected realization struck.
He was mine.
Looking right at me as if he just saw a lightbulb go on, a devilish grin spread across Braxton’s face. The man was too in tune with what I was thinking. But what I also noticed was that he wasn’t looking at any of the nurses, he only had eyes for me. Brax was a nice guy, so he was polite with them, but that was as far as it went.
All the nurses had probably been crying in their Wheaties when Braxton had stalked right toward me and sweetly kissed my cheek. Then, he leaned in, quietly whispered in my ear, and goosebumps had spread all over my flushed skin. “I’m keeping it clean for the kiddos, but later when I get you alone, that won’t be happening. Think dirty, baby.”
Entwined Souls (Soul Sister Book 1) Page 15