But my eyes drifted back, began moving down. Studying the brass zipper on his jeans, and the buttons embedded in his pocket. My tongue darted out to lick my dry lips, and like some weird alter ego of Tom, I kept going, studying his long legs wrapped in denim, and jumping back up to his exposed flesh. My eyes drug over his abs through his shirt, and then his chest. It moved up and down evenly as he watched television.
When I got to his face, I figured I may as well add fuel to this fire. His jaw was so defined, and his cheekbones, creating these alluring shadows. I saw earlier what they looked like when he got mad. And I saw what they looked like when he was tender. And I thought those damn bones were entirely unfair on an already handsome face. His thick lashes fanned out, and the gunmetal of his eyes looked electric in my room.
His thick tousled chocolate locks rested serenely on my pillow. My pillow would for sure smell like him later on. Like laundry softener, mint, and that light crisp cologne he wore. And probably his sweat and skin. I found myself swallowing so hard, I gulped.
His head whipped to the left and his eyes narrowed at me. “You okay?”
I bobbed my head and brought my knees to my chest, shoving my face between them to hide the intense blush I knew was burning my cheeks.
Maybe I was losing it. Days and days of pretending everything was okay had started to chip away at my sanity. I was insane. And Darren Morre was the only person who didn’t see that. Which should have been my first clue to run. I mean, I was in my room with Darren Freaking Morre! A few days ago, he was one more popular kid pitted against me in the hall.
Now we were sharing sushi and hiding in baseball dugouts.
“Are you still down to go to the party?”
I almost wanted him to leave. Once he wasn’t there, things would go back to usual. And as hard as it was, I understood things. I understood being hungry and coming home to an empty house. I didn’t trust Dare or my full belly. Depressed by that thought, I shrugged. “I’m probably not good company right now.”
He snorted. “You’re never good company. Are we going or what?”
I gave him a mean look and then considered my night otherwise. I’d stay in bed until it was time to get up for school. “It’s a school night.”
He let out a low growl of irritation and whipped his legs around and off the bed to stand. “I’m going. I need a drink and no rules.”
“I’m not a rule breaker.” It’s true, I wasn’t. Before my parents turned their back on reality, I was their main focus.
“Look around, Mel. No one’s here telling you what to do. They’re not even making sure you’re fed or not. Make your own rules.”
He looked angry staring down at me. I wondered if he were talking about himself, or me. Or even the both of us. There was a large part of Darren and I that were angry. There was a larger part of us that was sad too, though. And if Mom and Dad were going to continue on that way, I guessed making my own rules would be the only thing that kept me from making their mistakes.
“I’ve never been to a party.” I watched as he bent to put on his shoes, hopping around clumsily until they were both on.
He stooped down to tie them. When he looked up again, there was a hardness in his eyes I didn’t like. I had a feeling I was looking at the rebel in him right then. “Rule number one. You’re responsible for your own rules. Put your shoes on.”
I started to say another excuse, and then realized that even to my own ears I sounded lame. I’d never strived to understand the mind of a rebel, but in Dare’s logic, I found a shred of commonality. I’d followed my parent’s rules. I’d done what they asked. But they’d broken all their rules and they didn’t even listen to me. Didn’t see my wars, didn’t care for my raging storm.
Dare nodded looking into my eyes. “Put your shoes on, Mel.”
I walked over to where I’d kicked them off earlier and put my Chucks back on. I went over to the mirror over my dresser and let my hair down, shaking it out so it hung around my shoulders and the edges fell slightly in my face. I held my own eyes, the dark green and the light brown in my iris creating a camouflage I wanted to hide inside of. But there was no use in hiding anymore.
No one was even looking.
I grabbed a yellow beanie off the rack in my closet and plunged it down over my head, and then grabbed my phone and house keys from my backpack.
“Your beanie matches your sports bra,” Dare announced as we took my stairs. “That shouldn’t be so sexy to me.”
“You’re right. It shouldn’t be. Stop looking at me.”
“What kind of sorcery is that?” he grumbled, stepping out into the darkened driveway.
I laughed, hopping into the passenger seat of his truck, and choosing not to answer. What Dare thought shouldn’t make me smile. It shouldn’t. It wouldn’t. I bit down on my lip and buckled my seatbelt. Just as we pulled out of the driveway, I saw Sean getting out of his mom’s car with a grocery bag in hand. He was looking right at Dare’s truck with a deep frown in his forehead. I ducked down in the front seat and looked down at my lap when we drove by.
My cell rang in my pocket. I reached inside and hit the silent button.
Dare chewed on the corner of his lip as he drove. The windows were down, and the warm air still clinging to the night blew in, blowing my hair around. He drove one handed. Why was that so hot? And then, to make himself hotter, he grabbed the hat we’d fought over all day, from where he’d dropped it after school from the dash and slipped it on his head.
The tufts of hair on his temples turned up. I wanted to touch them. My fingers tingled, anxious to feel the silk of his chocolate hair against our skin. I sat on my hands and studied the night traffic instead of him. Something I’d been doing too much lately. In fact, it was kind of hard to remember what I focused on other than him now. And that was all kinds of concerning, especially since we’d been talking for only a few days.
We drove toward Paradise Valley and made the circle around Camelback Mountain. At night, the drive was beautiful. I snapped shots with my phone of the moon shining down on the mountains and the glare of taillights. Like nature and modern day was colliding in a collision of crag and lights. And then I flipped the camera, but kept it aimed at the mountains to use the selfie cam to catch one of Dare.
That picture was for me.
When we made it to North Yuca Road, my jaw dropped at the monstrosities. The mansion we approached was huge. I craned my neck to see it all. And then I started snapping shots of it as the moon poured its light onto it.
“Are you going to be doing that all night?” he asked, nodding at my camera when I looked at him.
“Oh.” I guessed that would be weird. Taking pictures of his friends all night. “No. Sorry.” I put my phone away. I put my chin in my hand and gazed outside as we started the long journey up the driveway.
Feeling like the rebel was bringing the tomboy to a party she didn’t belong at.
He parked behind a car that was worth at least one-hundred Nikon D500’s. The moment we got out, I heard the music. Loud, blaring, brain scrambling hip hop. There were no neighbors to worry about. The mansion was parked against the mountains. Dare looked at home, gorgeous and confident as he led me through the expensive cars.
“I thought this was only supposed to be a hang out?” I squeaked. If Rudy’s parents were gone, there was no way all those cars were theirs.
Dare laughed at me.
Oh, no, I thought miserably, missing Genna and Sean profusely.
He grabbed the huge door handle in the shape of a snake—omen much? —and pushed the gigantic door open. Did giants live there? I stuck close to him, entering into a lavish foyer. He seemed to know his way around.
“What’s up, Dare?” people said.
“Hey, Dare,” girls cooed, wearing close to nothing but skirts and low-cut tops. They had heart eyes and zero shame.
“Dare!” others hollered.
He nodded at them all, so at ease I envied him. No one even noticed me. Relieved,
I let my guard down a moment too soon. We entered into a kitchen four times larger than mine. And it was crammed. With people, food, and alcohol.
“Look who walked in. Darren and his little brother.”
Maisy was shitfaced. I saw it all over her face. Pink cheeks, red eyes, evil glistening in them. Miranda and Tyra were beside her, eating what looked like hot wings.
The song changed, and the deep beat seemed to add mayhem to the mood in the house.
“Ignore them,” Dare ordered, putting his mouth close to my ear. “Stick with me.” He took my hand, something Maisy noticed with shrewd eyes.
“Hi, Dare,” she said intimately, moving to come close to us.
Did she not see me standing there? I mean I knew she did, but she acted like even though I was there it didn’t matter. That pissed me off. I tangled my fingers with Dare’s and let him lead us further into the kitchen. Thankfully it was big enough to keep a distance between us and them.
He plucked up a shot glass from the counter and brought it to his lips. There were shots of brown and clear liquid set out like hor d'oeuvres. “Want one?” he said, loud enough for me to hear over the music.
I felt out of my element.
Wasn’t sure I even had an element.
But I didn’t want that one. I shook my head.
He shrugged and took another, and then he plucked two beers from the ice bucket in the corner. He cradled both beers by the glass necks, and then made a treacherous journey through the house and to a back-glass patio door. The backyard was an oasis. A pool cut into the mountain, a hot tub with no edges. Gold lights, the moon—the backyard looked endless.
People were making out on the tennis court, women walked past us in bikinis, some of which I recognized from school. All of them paused to stare at Darren, and then at me. Their faces turned quizzical, as though him and I together made no sense.
“Bitches,” I whispered under my breath.
Dare winked at one of them, a bad boy grin on his face. Full of straight white teeth and sexy edge. I’d never seen him smile like that. I was tempted to smack him, and then thought better of it. I felt guilty for it. I wanted to go home.
I made a promise to myself. The moment Dare was occupied, I’d slip out the back, and walk home. I could use the time to think anyway.
“Yo, over here!” someone hollered.
Rudy, all of the basketball team in fact, were lounging in a cabana-like set up. Bodies on display in their designer swim trunks. Miranda wasn’t on him. It was another girl. With huge boobs and a little bikini top.
Was I on a new planet?
Dare and Rudy bro-hugged, and everyone said hello. There was more booze out there, and far less inhibitions. I felt overdressed—thankfully—and just plain lame. But not in a way where I wanted to be like them. In a way where I wanted to be me somewhere else than there.
Dare pulled me down beside him and handed me a beer. He cracked his open and leaned back, putting one of his feet on the table. He blended into the crowd, picking up on their conversation about basketball stats.
The same boy who’d smiled at me when I was introduced to Rudy, smiled at me again. I smiled back. He was cute-ish. With spiked ruddy hair, sky blue eyes, and freckles. He had a killer body, though, and I tried not to look at it longer than what I thought was normal.
“Melanie, right?” He got up and settled beside me on the outdoor couch, a bottle in his hand too.
I nodded.
He smiled bigger, and then held out his hand. “Cason.”
I didn’t realize I was choking my beer bottle with both hands until I let one go to shake his. “Hi, Cason.”
If I could only view the entire party through my camera lens.
“I think you actually have to drink your beer for it to take effect.” He chuckled at my hands.
Somehow, telling this boy about myself, like I didn’t drink, or I didn’t want to be there, didn’t feel like an option the way it felt with Darren, or even Sean. I twisted the top, having seen Dad do so before; I brought the bottle to my lips. It was a citrusy beer, and I thought I’d hate it, but it was ice-cold, and the air was still hot. It was refreshing.
“So, Melanie. How’d you and Darren meet? You don’t really seem like his type.”
I bristled. “What’s his type? Dumb half-dressed psycho?”
He laughed. “Whoa, whoa, you’re not going to hit me or anything, are you? I just meant that you give a much younger impression than the rest of his girls.”
I did? I frowned. “So, Cason,” I said, to change the subject before I smacked him. “You’re on the basketball team?”
“Um-hmm. You want me to show you a few of my moves?”
Dare leaned forward suddenly, and he gave Cason a withering look. “Get lost, Cason.”
Cason’s face scrunched up. “Since when do you care who I talk to?”
“Since the person you’re talking to is her. She doesn’t want to talk to you. So get the shit out of here.”
I froze. The look on Dare’s face was ice and rage. He looked scary. And pissed.
“She’s a big girl. She can make her own choices.”
“You’re right, she can, just as long as that choice isn’t you. Dipshit,” Dare sneered when Cason got up and stomped away, but not before throwing “asshole,” over his shoulder.
Dare’s gray eyes shot to mine. “Don’t talk to him.”
I brought my beer to my lips and closed my eyes as I chugged it. When I opened them, he was still glaring at me. “You’re not my boss, Darren.”
“He plays fast and loose with the word no. Still want to be your own boss?”
I shuddered and lowered my voice, aware of the eyes on us. Curious, judgmental eyes. “What’s he doing at a party then?”
“He’s rich. His dad’s close to the governor. I’ve heard some things. I don’t want to find out if those things are true. And especially not on you.” His gaze darkened further. “Got it?”
“Got it,” I whispered.
He sat back and returned to his conversation like nothing happened. I sighed and looked around, hoping those rumors were really just that. I drank more of my beer, avoiding eye contact. The pool was shimmering blue under the moon, and the lights around it was the same color, making it glimmer like the sea. I bet the water was silk and warm. Most of the people in the pool were hanging around the bar built into the mountain. It looked so safe.
“You wanna swim?” Dare’s warm voice crept down my jaw. I smelled the beer and the sweet scent of alcohol from the shot he’d taken.
“I didn’t bring a suit.” Not that I wore one anyway. I meant, I didn’t have any of Sean’s boxers on me.
“Wear your bra and panties.”
“No,” I said, outraged. I glared at him. “Are you dumb?”
He put his arm behind me on the couch, eyes slightly heavier than I’d ever seen them. “You’re wearing a sports bra. And I can guarantee your granny panties cover more of you than hers do.” He nodded at someone.
When I looked, I saw a girl I thought was named Susan wearing a scrap of lavender hued material barely hiding her important parts. I paled looking at her. No way would I embarrass myself like that, not when there were women who looked like that hanging around.
“Shut up, Dare.” I didn’t know why that bothered me. I liked myself. Liked my body. I never wanted to be someone else, not even when girls like Maisy teased me. “And I do not wear granny panties, jerk.”
“Hey,” he murmured, leaning closer. “What’s that look for? Did I hurt your feelings?”
“Which time?” I muttered, avoiding his gunmetal gaze.
“I wasn’t telling you to look at her and doubt yourself. I was telling you to look at her and feel better about yourself.”
Boy logic, I decided. “Back up.” I tried to shove him, but he only pressed his chest to my side.
“You’re just as sexy as her,” he insisted angrily, acid and lies dripping from his tongue. “Sexier even.”
“Dare,” I begged. “Please. Shut. Up. You’re drunk. And stupid.”
“You are, Melanie. So you’re not wearing tons of makeup and your tits aren’t hanging out. That’s sexy without thinking. There’s no thought in that. There’s thought in every single thing you do, wear, and say. That’s just as sexy.”
I looked at him sideways. He didn’t appear to be lying. Or teasing. It would have been easier if he were. His eyes were terribly serious. He actually thought that. Fire, rage-filled and intense, began to burn in my blood. His lips were so close. His eyes were gunmetal waiting to shoot me right in the heart with those acid truths.
He leaned in like he was going to kiss me.
I stayed still like he was going to kiss me.
Our lips, our fire, the free fall in his eyes, were so close to connecting. Just a breath away from catching blaze.
Until something ice-cold poured down on me, and my fire went out. Dare and I both flinched way and he shot to his feet. Maisy walked away, her empty cup tossing over her shoulder.
I was panting. Falling back down to earth. “Okay,” I said.
Dare paused in the middle of knocking ice out of his hair. “What?”
“Let’s swim.”
A slow, bad grin spread across his lips. He knocked his hat off. He reached for the collar of his shirt and pulled it over his head by reaching backward. My entire body felt like it was on fire at the sight of his body. It was as hard and defined as his jaw. He kicked off his shoes and started working on his zipper, stepping out of his jeans and leaving himself in a pair of black Calvin Klein boxer briefs.
I was melting.
His eyes shimmered sinfully as he gave me a look like your turn.
I set my beer down and stood up. I kicked my Chucks off, and then closed my eyes and prayed he didn’t run away screaming. I grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head, leaving me in my neon yellow sports bra. I undid the buckle on my black baggy jeans, and then pushed the zipper down, letting them fall at my feet.
The Tomboy & the Rebel Page 8