by S. R. Watson
“Where’s the fire, stallion?” she jokes, as I quickly get dressed.
“I need to get you back to the school. I have something to do this morning.” I pull my shirt over my head, but I don’t miss the disappointment in her eyes. It solidifies my earlier thought. To continue things with her would make ‘that look’ much worse later. I’m an asshole and she needs someone good. There is no happily ever after with me—only fucking and her time is up. “I’ll check us out of the hotel and meet you downstairs, out front.”
“Sure,” Her tone is dry. She gets up and puts her clothes on just as fast; only she isn’t looking at me now. I think she senses the change the day has brought about. I want to reassure her, but I can’t. I leave her to finish getting dressed and I feel like shit.
When I walk through the door, the guys are ready to give me a hard time. They know about my rules.
“So who is the lucky woman who made you break your “fuck-n-go”?” Keyser jokes.
“Yeah, must have been some piece of ass,” Xander chimes in. If he only knew and with who, that grin would be wiped off of his face right now. Gable eyes me suspiciously. I blew off the kiss he saw between Lourdes and me as temporary insanity. My excuse was that I was horny and she was there. I told him that I had come to my senses and nothing happened.
I can see the wheels churning in his head as he suspects now that may have been a lie.
“It’s not what you think, fuckers. I do have other friends you know? I got a little shitfaced with my buddy Sevyn while we played Destiny on the Xbox and I end up sleeping it off.” I shake my head at their nosiness of my sex life. “No pussy is worth breaking my rules for,” I reassure. That lie rolls off my tongue like it has been rehearsed. I’ve told myself this so many times, yet this morning it wasn’t the case. I’m trying not to let it get to me, so I’m not going to give these guys any indication that I was with a woman. I’d never hear the end of it.
“Who is this Sevyn person? I’m beginning to think he is a figment of your imagination,” Gable chides.
“Whatever, asshole.” I flip him off and make my way to the kitchen. I was supposed to have eaten already, so even the timing of my meals is off. Fuck.
“Well, why haven’t we met this dude? Why are you hiding him like a lover?” Keyser joins in.
“Shut the fuck up. He has no interest in hanging with you douche bags. And you have seen him.”
I ignore their questions of when, because truth is, they have seen him—more than once. They will never formally meet him and I can’t share our real connection or what we’re involved in. I’m actually meeting him at noon.
He is a separate part of my life that they can never be privy to. The only reason they even know he exists is because they kept questioning where I would disappear to sometimes. It’s not their business—they’re not my keepers, but I don’t want them to think the worst. When ideas of possible drug addiction start to circulate among them, I knew I had to give them a bone. Hell, they wanted to stage an intervention. We have a strict “No Drugs Policy.” No exceptions. We don’t want to be your typical rock band and allow drugs to fuck off our opportunities before we even start. I didn’t feel like making up a name—too hard to keep up with, so I told them I had a friend named Sevyn. I told them I was helping him with something and to let it drop. For the most part, they respect my wishes not to talk about him. This morning they just feel like giving me shit.
“Come on, Keyser. Your ass is going with me to buy groceries. Let Diesel and his mystery man have their privacy,” he jokes. Xander pats me on the shoulder and shakes his head.
“Ignore those two.” He grabs his water bottle off the table. “Hold on, dipshits, I’m going with you. You guys need chaperoning for the shit you like to buy.” Xander isn’t kidding. These guys stock up on more snacks than real food. At least with him going, I know he’ll get what I need for my meal preps. Once the guys are out the door, I eat, pack a few meals, and get ready to meet Sevyn.
I’m sitting on my bed trying to figure out what went wrong with Diesel. Things have changed in an instant. Was this all a game? I finally let down my guard and throw caution to the wind and had sex with him—twice. Now it is as if he is done with me. He couldn’t get out of that hotel room with me fast enough. He could barely even look at me, and the ride back to the dorm was quiet and strained. Was I not good enough for him? I don’t know what to think.
“So how was it?” Brooke says jumping on my bed. She wasn’t here when I got back so I thought I had time to think.
“What?” I grab my folder off the dresser and pretend to look through my syllabus, to see what upcoming assignments I have. I can’t look at her right now. I’m afraid she will see the insecurities that have taken residence in my mind.
“Cut the shit. You guys fucked again. You left early yesterday and didn’t come back until this morning.” She yanks the folder from me. “Come on. I’m your best friend. Tell me what’s going on. You’re not catching feelings for this guy, are you?” I don’t know what I’m feeling. Of course I didn’t think this thing between could mature into anything. It was just fucking and now it’s over. He’s a manwhore. I gave in to what my body wanted and let myself have a piece of his sexy ass.
“There are definitely no feelings involved, Brooke. It was just sex. I was horny and he wanted to fuck. I needed brush off the old cobwebs,” I try to joke, but my laugh falls flat.
“Are you sure?” He eyes me suspiciously—unsure of what to believe. “Because you do know that his type will never change. The more famous he gets, the more pussy he will get thrown at him.”
“Yes, Brooke. I know this. I’m not a fool.” I tell her about our first hook up and then everything about yesterday. I leave out the part about his mood change this morning. I just tell her we ended it, but I don’t explain how or why because I’m not sure of that myself.
“Well, good. I’m glad you’re back on the proverbial sex horse so to speak.” She has no idea how off the horse I’ve been. She goes off on a tangent about me getting back on the dating scene, but then my phone rings.
“Hello?” I wave my hand to silence her because it’s Xander.
“Hey, sis. What are you up to?” I can hear the guys in the background. I wonder if Diesel is with them.
“Nothing. Just talking with Brooke. What’s up?”
“Well, I’m out grocery shopping with the guys and we’ve decided to fire up the grill while the weather is still nice. I was wondering if you and Brooke would like to come hang out for the day. I can come and get you and bring you back later tonight.”
“Uh, I don’t know Xander.” I’m not ready to see Diesel again. It’ll be a hard pill to swallow if he behaves like he did this morning.
“Aww, come on. I don’t want to interrupt your plans, but we may have a reason to celebrate. I wasn’t going say anything yet, but I want you here.” He lets out a sigh. “If you can’t, I understand.”
“No. We don’t have any plans for today so we can come.” I give Brooke a pleading look. She has to go with me.
“Great. We’re checking out now, so I’ll be there in an hour.” I can hear him telling the guys that he is going to be picking us up.
“See you then.” We say our goodbyes and hang up.
“What did you just volunteer me for?” Brooke smirks.
“The guys are grilling and apparently have some news to share. I can’t go by myself. You have to go.” I don’t have to explain the awkwardness I would feel with Diesel. Even without knowing, the entire story, she gets it. If I’m lucky, maybe he won’t even be there. He did say he had something he had to do. “Xander will be here in an hour.”
“Fine. I was planning on soaking up some warm rays and hottie watching on the campus lawn, so you owe me,” she kids.
“Well, tomorrow we’ll grab a blanket and hottie watch together,” I promise and she grins from ear to ear. There is an old oak tree by the library that is a popular spot for students to hang under to study. Brooke
likes to take her blanket and just people watch—hot guys to be specific.
She has been trying to get me to partake in this useless activity, but I always turn her down. I know I could have gotten her to go with me without that asinine promise, but I thought it was only fair that I return the favor. I decide to go with a simple tank top and jeans. I French braid my hair and call it a day. Brooke opts for a tube dress and wedge sandals. I sometimes envy her chic style, but I’d rather be comfortable. After we’re dressed and ready to go, we head downstairs to wait for Xander.
So far so good, no sign of Diesel. Xander is out on the deck with Gable, starting up the grill while Keyser seasons the meat and veggies. Brooke makes herself at home on the white leather sofa. She flips through the channels on the television, trying to find something interesting. I grab a glass and pour myself some wine before joining her. It’s a little past noon, but it’s not too early to start drinking. I have a feeling I’m going to need it. My premonition is correct. I haven’t even finished my glass when Diesel walks in with some leggy brunette. Her heels click on the tile when she walks. Her fitted dress leaves nothing to wonder about. She is definitely stacked, but where the hell is she coming from looking like that? Even Brooke is shocked. We exchange glances and I know she is wondering the same thing that I am.
Who is this woman to Diesel? The better question is—is she what he had to do this morning? She flicks her hair to one side as she waits to be introduced. Diesel is beaming as he steps forward. Xander and Gable reenter the house, just in time for Diesel’s introduction.
“Everyone this is, Desiree Roberson.” The guys give her a welcoming hello while Brooke and I half raise our hands in a wave. “Desiree is with Platinum Records and has heard good things about our band.”
“Heck yea!” the fellas chant heartily. Platinum is a pretty big deal. They’re among the best record labels in the industry for producing rock music.
“Desiree got in contact with me and wanted to meet up today to talk about our music. She’s heard a few of our cover songs and is interested in hearing more of our original music,” Diesel adds. I’m happy for them. This could be their big break. I watch as Desiree rubs the top of his shoulder and he looks over and smiles at her. The scene before me doesn’t sit right. My stomach churns at the thought he may have been with her more than to discuss a possible record deal earlier. Maybe he used his assets to sway the decision more in their favor. She looks mighty comfortable with him.
“We have some of our stuff recorded,” Xander offers. We also have our own makeshift studio, if you want to hear us live,” he offers excitedly.
“Oh no. I’m not staying long. I just wanted to meet you guys. I’m coming Friday to see you guys play at Hundred Degrees,” she assures. The guys introduce themselves, one by one, and tell about their position in the band. I can hear the enthusiasm in their voices. I can only imagine how ecstatic they must feel to be recognized by such a big label. Xander briefly introduces me and Brooke, and then tries again to get her to stay, but she declines. “I’ll leave you gentleman to your afternoon. Nice meeting you ladies, as well,” she says as an afterthought. Brooke and I feign fake smiles and wave goodbye. I watch as her hips sway again as she walks out the door. The guys all walk her out. Yes. It took all of them.
Brooke looks at me when they’re all out of sight. “Did you get a load of her?” She shakes her head like she’s trying to clear it.
“Something is definitely off with her. She seems like the nicety type. Nice-nasty. Hidden agenda. I don’t know, but she make my hackles go up.” I can’t put a finger on the negative vibes she inspires. They’re just there.
“Not to mention, she had her claws in Diesel. She’s probably already fucked him. Maybe even how the meeting came about,” she ponders. My face falls before I can school my expression. “Shit that was insensitive, Lourdes. But see this is why it is best you cut all ties. If they get this record deal, things are going to change for them real quick.” I know she is telling the truth, so why does it feel like I’m being stabbed in the chest? I’m not supposed to care.
The look on Lourdes’ face as I introduced Desiree to the band was telling. She was jealous. I didn’t expected her to be there. Xander must have invited her over. When Desiree put her hand on my shoulder, I saw the slightest of flinches from Lourdes; one that could have been missed if you weren’t watching closely. I bet anything she thinks I slept with this woman, so that leads me to another conclusion. What a mess? I have to keep my distance from her today. I don’t have answers for her or have any idea how to move forward, right now. Yup. Avoidance is key, until I can get the hell out of here.
When we get back upstairs, I don’t even look at her. I know hurt no matter how much it’s masked, and I know exactly why it’s there. “Keyser, grab a beer and come down to the lake with me, fucker.”
“Sure. We can discuss how you really came to meet Miss Desiree,” he taunts. “Seriously though, we need a game plan for this weekend. Maybe even squeeze in writing a new song to showcase, if we can.”
“Already on it, man. I want us to have at least a few of our original songs ready and only our best covers.”
“Agreed,” Xander joins in. Keyser grabs a beer and heads toward the lake with me. We leave Xander and Gable with the girls.
“So how did you come in contact with Desiree?” he asks, when we’re finally alone.
“Mutual friend,” I answer simply, as I take a swig of my beer.
Yup, I’m fucking off my diet regimen, but today calls for a celebration. It was fucked today from the start, when I didn’t have my ass at home to start my first meal on time.
“Sevyn?” His face lights up like he just had an epiphany or some shit. “You said you were meeting him today, and you came back with her. He’s the mutual friend, isn’t he?” It’s weird hearing the name, especially since he has no idea how close he is.
“Yes. Sevyn has done business with her in another capacity and told her all about us. She was intrigued, to say the least.”
“That guy is alright with me. We may give you shit for not bringing him around, but that was good looking out. I hope she signs us.”
“She is one of the managers who introduces the talent and manages them, but she is not the one who actually does the signing,” I explain.
“Yeah, but she if she is interested, she can get us in front of the right people. We will take it from there. I have all the confidence in our talent, so same difference.” I agree with Keyser. The band’s sound is pretty amazing and we don’t look like your typical rockers, for the most part, except Gable. His appearance screams rocker with his black mohawk and piercings. Too bad, he really is a big softie. I have a song in mind that has been playing on a loop in my mind.
I can probably have it finished by tonight, so I hope it’s well received. “Yeah. I think we have this one in the bag. We just need to get in front of those executives. We’ll have them eating out of our hand,” I say.
“Especially if they’re more of the female persuasion than men. You can use your magical charms.” Keyser nearly chokes on his beer, he is laughing so hard.
“Whatever, fucker. We don’t need charm when we got the talent.”
“Your pretty face will help,” he teases. “You know the women always see you first. Our asses get the leftovers.” He wants to give me shit, so I dish it right back.
“It’s not the face, bro. It’s this dick. I think the word has gotten around about my anaconda and now they all want a piece. Hard to keep that shit a secret.” He laughs even harder and I join him.
“Okay, let’s change the subject, dude. We are not going to discuss your dick and how big you think it is.”
“Oh, I don’t have to think. I have to fit this motherfucker in my jeans everyday.” He gives me a look of disgust, and I wink at him before slamming back the rest of my beer. The group joins us so we indeed change the subject.
Lourdes sits across from me with a glass of wine in hand. The discussion quick
ly turns to football and our opposing love for the Cowboys and the Eagles.
Surprisingly, Brooke is a Dallas Cowboys fan, like Gable and myself, so it makes it three against two. Xander and Keyser are traitors. The game is going to start in a few hours, and we’re all making bets on which team we think is going to win. Dallas is on a losing streak right now, but they’re my team, no matter what. Lourdes looks on, but she doesn’t join the conversation. She just sips on her wine and listen to our craziness.
“So who do root for, Lourdes?” Keyser asks, in attempt to include her in our conversation.
“I don’t,” she says simply. “I don’t know much about the game. She looks at me briefly, but quickly looks away.
“Tragic,” he retorts. “We have to teach you about football, girl. Brooke, you’re slacking woman.”
“It’s not her thing.” She grins at her friend. “And that is okay, so hush.” After a beat of silence, everyone goes back to making their wagers. Not for money, but for bragging rights. I get up to go get another beer.
“You guys want anything, while I’m getting a beer?” I ask. They all shake their head no so I make my way back to the house. I scarf down a sandwich while I’m in here. I’m about to grab the beer I came in for when I turn and see Lourdes. She is standing there looking unsure, but clearly with something to say.
“Are you going to tell me what this morning was all about?” she asks.
“What do you mean?”
“Why you were so in a hurry to get away from me?” I don’t know what to tell her. This is more than just a little awkward.
“I can’t do this with you right now,” I say trying to push past her, but she stops me.
“Just say it,” she says getting flustered.
“What do you want me to say huh?”
“That you fucked me and now you’re done with me. Just have the balls to say it’s over, instead of running away like a fucking coward. It was just sex for fuck’s sake. Just do me the decency of ending it.” I see the unshed tears glistening in her eyes, and I’m about to lose my shit. I don’t get off on hurting a woman. I hate that I’m in this fucking position.