‘What are you up to?’ she asked.
‘I’m in the Rocket, stuck up a mountain and freezing my butt off in Montana,’ I said.
I could almost hear her wince. ‘Ouch! Visiting your folks I guess. Well, in that case I won’t hold you up.’
‘No, it’s OK…really. What’s up?’
‘Well, it’s just that my housemate has gone away on a last-minute vacation, so I’ve got the house to myself. I thought maybe you’d like to come and visit. I know it’s short notice, but I could use some company. Don’t worry about it now though…call me tomorrow.’
I nearly jumped down the phone. ‘Let me get this straight, Ramona…you’re inviting me to spend a few days in a place that’s warm and sunny, with sandy beaches and hot guys wearing hardly any clothes?’
She laughed. ‘Yeah, that’s about it.’
I thought for a moment about my frozen butt and frost-hardened nipples. Andy would have to stick his stiffy somewhere else.
‘I’m coming,’ I said. ‘On the next flight I can get.’
***
I got the red-eye down to Miami a couple of days later, and Ramona met me off the flight. She looked as hot as ever, although she was dressed a little more soberly than I had expected. But that didn’t stop the guys eyeing her up as we walked through the airport terminal. Frankly, she could have walked around wearing sackcloth and ashes, and guys would still get hard-ons just looking at her.
‘Thanks for meeting me at such an early hour,’ I said. ‘It’s so great to see you again.’
‘You, too, Angel. I’ve been looking forward to this…we’re going to have so much fun!’
Ramona’s idea of fun usually involved a diverse range of activities with naked men, so I was definitely looking forward to it, too. When we walked out of the airport, the hot, humid air hit me like a tsunami. I was still wearing the sweater and jeans I had put on in the frozen wastes of Montana, so I was sweltering within moments. Boy, was I glad that Ramona’s car had air-conditioning.
When we got to her place, I immediately showered and changed into clothing better suited to the climate – a summer dress and sandals. Ramona gave me a tour of the house. It was a Mediterranean style villa that was airy and well-lit, with a good-sized pool out the back and plenty of space for lounging around and soaking up the sun. In other words, it was a little piece of paradise. Ramona put me in the room where her housemate usually slept. That was the best room in the house, adjacent to the pool area - with patio doors that opened straight onto the pool.
Awesome!
When the official tour was complete, we sat out on the sun deck and drank some iced tea. It was still early in the day, yet it was as warm as Montana in mid-summer.
‘Ramona, it’s just beautiful here. I don’t know how you can bear to leave and go to work.’
‘Yeah, it can be tough. But then again, it’s lovely to come home to in the evening. Miami is wonderful…you should think about moving down here.’
‘If you’re not careful, I might just not leave. I feel I could stay here forever. Especially when you get views like that one.’
I nodded in the direction of the neighbor’s house. I wasn’t referring to the flourishing palm trees, or to the beautiful display of whatever the hell kind of flowers they grow in Florida. I was referring to the guy who was skimming the pool next door. He was dressed up to the nines in a business suit and highly-polished shoes, and was handling the net carefully to ensure he didn’t get water or leaves on his expensive gear. He was about thirty, and had a kind of James Bond look about him.
‘That’s Graham,’ Ramona said. ‘He’s a high-powered lawyer. Specializes in copyright law or something. I’ve only spoken to him a couple of times, so I don’t know much about him really.’
I looked at her with a dubious expression. ‘Ramona, are you telling me you have a hot guy living next door and you haven’t had sex with him yet? That’s doesn’t sound like the Ramona I know and love.’
Ramona looked embarrassed. Offended even. I couldn’t work out what I had said wrong. I knew perfectly well that Ramona had a sex drive that made me feel like a nun by comparison. Hell, between the two of us, we had boinked our way through half the male population of Texas in our student days. So what was she getting so uppity about now?
‘Angel, I have something to tell you,’ she said, her voice surprisingly serious. ‘I wasn’t sure how to bring this up, but I guess now is as good a time as any. You see, I don’t do casual sex anymore. Things have changed. I have someone more important in my life now.’
I was stumped. ‘What does that mean? Are you married?’
‘No, nothing like that. I’ve found someone far more important than any mere man.’
Oh, fuck! I thought. I knew what was coming next. I’ve seen it all before.
But not Ramona…please, no…not Ramona…
She reached into her purse and pulled out a Bible. My heart sank.
Noooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!
Ramona looked at me with total sincerity in her eyes, clutching the Bible to her chest.
‘I have accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. I am a born-again Christian now.’
I wanted to shout ‘FUCK!’ in capital letters, but that was obviously inappropriate. This was the worst news I could imagine. I couldn’t have been more bombshelled if my Dad had told me he was gay and moving in with a construction worker name Clive. I had spent the last couple of days planning a sex-soaked vacation with my man-eating friend, only to discover she was now on a man-free diet.
Bummer.
‘You’ve got religion?’ I squeaked. ‘I mean…really?’
‘Really. My housemate Sally is a true believer, and she has shown me the error of my ways. I can see now that I have been living a vain and empty life. All that meaningless sex…what was it all for?’
‘What was it for? It was for fun, Ramona. Remember fun? Are you really going to give all that up for the God squad?’
Ramona looked aloof, holding her Bible to her heart. ‘You can’t upset me with mere words. I know that I have found the life, the truth and the way. Jesus is right here beside me to help me resist the temptations of the flesh. Angel, I want you to see the error of your ways, too. That’s why I invited you down here. There’s a prayer meeting at our church this morning. Why don’t you come with me and meet Jesus for yourself?’
Well, I had been hoping to meet a cool guy on my trip, but the Son of God wasn’t really what I had in mind. After all, someone who is two thousand years old is a little past it in my opinion – even if he does have a history of performing miracles on women.
‘Ramona, if you don’t mind, I’d rather give it a miss. I’m tired after the flight and everything, and to be honest, all this religious stuff is a bit of a shock to the system.’
Ramona gave me a condescending smile, the kind that church elders specialized in back in my Sunday school days. Heck, I thought I had got away from all that.
‘I understand,’ she said. ‘Maybe tomorrow. But would you mind if I pop out to the prayer meeting? I will only be gone for a couple of hours, and it means a lot to me.’
‘Sure thing. I don’t want to come between you and God. He might start throwing lightning bolts at me or something. And I could do with a little quiet time to get over the surprise.’
Ramona made her excuses and left. Ten minutes later, I was sitting in the house alone, wondering what the fuck I was going to do for fun now.
***
Ramona? A friend of Jesus…one of the chosen few? It didn’t make any sense. I had expected us to be down on South Beach by now, checking out what Floridian guys packed in their board shorts. Instead, my buddy was in church, singing her heart out to Amazing Grace. (By the way…when I was in college, there was a girl named Grace. The guys nicknamed her Amazing Grace. I always wondered what she did to earn her nickname. But that’s another story…)
I loaded our empty glasses into the dishwasher and changed into my swimwear. I had a c
ouple of hours to kill, and a very inviting-looking pool just a few yards away. Time to check it out. I also figured that if I strutted around the pool in my bikini, I might get some attention from Graham next door. But even after I had whored around the back yard for a while, sticking my tits and bum out all over the place, there was no sign of Graham. He had obviously left for work.
I dived into the pool and swam a few lengths, and it felt very good. But I soon got bored of swimming on my own. There was an inflated airbed next to the pool, and the idea of floating around the pool reading a book seemed very appealing. I could work up a tan at the same time, to impress the folks back home. I toweled myself off and went to fetch some sun tan lotion and a book. I started slapping the lotion on around my bikini, but then I thought ‘what the hell’ – I didn’t want to go home with bikini lines, and there was no-one around to see me. So I stripped my bikini off and spread plenty of lotion on my naked body.
A few moments later, I was afloat in the middle of the pool, wearing nothing but sunglasses. I was reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which I had picked up in the airport bookshop to read during my flight. So far, I hadn’t been particularly impressed with Anastasia Steele. If she murmured or said ‘holy crap’ one more time, I was likely to strangle her – fictional character or not. And I could have quite cheerfully bludgeoned her inner goddess to death with a baseball bat. If I had come across a hot billionaire, I would have been bonking him to death by page three – never mind pussying around with legally-binding contracts.
Silly cow.
But never mind her story – let’s get back to my story. There I was, floating around the pool under the Miami sun and enjoying every second. I let one hand drift in the cool water, while I held my book with the other. After a while, the sun made me drowsy, and I allowed the book to fall onto my face as a sun shield while I drifted off into a dreamy doze.
I’m ashamed to admit it, but I kind of slid into a rather naughty dream….
…Ramona dragged me unwillingly into her Church. When we got to the altar, we found Jesus himself waiting for us. I was still naked from my dip in the pool, and when Jesus saw me, I noticed a bulge growing in his white robe. Ramona was cross. ‘Jesus…you are not supposed to get the hots for girls!’
Jesus turned to her and said, ‘Remember what it says in the Bible. “Suffer the naked women to come unto me.”’
‘No!’ Ramona exclaimed. ‘That’s not right. It says “suffer the little children to come unto me.”’
‘Oh yeah, they got that bit wrong.’
‘Wrong? But it’s the word of God!’
‘Yeah, but the old man is a bit past it now. He makes a lot of mistakes, you know.’
Jesus started advancing towards me, throwing aside his robe to reveal a giant erection. Heck, he had the biggest dick I had ever seen. It was miraculous! No wonder Mary Magdalene couldn’t leave him alone. When they said that Jesus’ love for us is bigger than anything, they weren’t kidding. Jesus grabbed hold of me and said, ‘Lie down, baby…I’m going to show you what the second coming is really all about…’
A sound broke me out of my dream. A kind of click. I woke up and pulled the book away from my face. At first, I could only see the sun glaring down from the blue sky, but when I turned sideways, I saw two guys standing at the side of the pool. The click had been the sound of the pool gate opening. They were both wearing shorts and T-shirts, and one of them was carrying a net, while the other was hauling two big pots of chlorine.
The guy with the net gave me a smile.
‘Don’t worry about us. We’re just here to clean the pool. We’ll be done in a jiffy.’
They were both youngish lads – maybe nineteen or twenty-something. I was just thinking that they were a good-looking pair when I remembered I was stark naked. I threw my book away, sending Anastasia and her annoying inner goddess to a watery grave at the bottom of the pool. Serves them right. I sat up and crossed my hands over my chest to cover my boobs.
Of course, if you are floating on an airbed, the last thing you should do is try to sit up. I know that now. But it’s not the kind of thing they teach you in school in Montana. So I learned the hard way. The airbed folded in half and tossed me sideways into the water. The water felt cold on my hot flesh, and I sank down towards the bottom. Normally, I’m quite a good swimmer. But right now I was disoriented and confused. Water went up my nose and I couldn’t tell which way was up. My head bumped against the bottom of the pool and it hurt. I started to panic a little.
Then there was a splash and I saw a flood of bubbles as something hit the water. I saw a body slicing towards me, and the next thing I knew, strong arms were lifting me up. I surfaced and gulped down a big breath of air. As I gasped, I felt myself being carried to the edge of the pool, where another pair of strong arms descended and wrapped themselves around me. I felt myself being lifted out of the water. A few moments later, I was lying on my bed in the room next to the pool, with the two guys fussing around me. One of them gave me a towel, and I used it to cover myself up a little.
‘Are you OK?’ he asked.
‘Yes, thank you. I was just a bit taken by surprise, that’s all.’
‘You looked like you were going down for the third time.’
‘I’m all right now, thanks for your help.’
‘No problem. I’m Mitch by the way. And this is Ricardo.’
‘Angel. Pleased to meet you.’
‘And we are both pleased to meet you, as you can probably tell.’
Mitch glanced down at his shorts, and I understood what he meant. There was a very significant bulge, and when I looked over at Ricardo, I saw that he was in the same predicament. I guess the towel wasn’t doing that good a job of covering up my attractions.
‘Sorry,’ I said. ‘I didn’t know you were coming, or I wouldn’t have been in the pool naked.’
‘We’re not complaining,’ said Mitch. ‘You’re the most interesting thing that has happened to us for ages.’
‘It’s a pity this isn’t a porn movie,’ Ricardo said.
I walked right into that one. ‘A porn movie? Why?’
‘Because at this point in the story, the hot girl usually gives the pool guys a blow job.’
‘Ah, yes.’
I looked the two of them over. Mitch – who had dived into the pool to rescue me – had removed his wet T-shirt, so that I got a very good view of his chest. And it was worth looking at. He was the older of the two – maybe early twenties. Ricardo I guessed to be about nineteen. They both still had the fit, young bodies of youth. I imagined they didn’t have too much trouble getting the local ladies between the sheets.
So what was a girl supposed to do? Leave them both disappointed? After all, they had rescued me from possible drowning, so I felt I ought to do something to say ‘thank you.’ And there is only way I know to show my appreciation to a guy.
‘I’ve always wanted to star in a porn movie,’ I said. ‘But I’ve never had the chance. Maybe I need to practice my acting skills in case that opportunity ever arises.’
‘That would be cool,’ Mitch said, and the gleam in his eye told me I was on the right track.
I let go of the towel so that it slipped down and revealed my boobs. Both guys switched their attention to my chest, and the bulges in their shorts seemed to grow a little bigger. I’m sorry, but there is no way I could pass up two healthy dicks. I leaned forward and touched Mitch’s shorts.
‘These are soaking wet,’ I said. ‘Better take them off before you catch a cold.’
I tugged at his shorts, and pulled them down to reveal his underpants. ‘Those are wet, too. You will just have to take it all off.’
Mitch didn’t resist, and I tugged everything down to his ankles. As he stepped out of his clothes, I took a closer look at what he had been hiding in there.
Lovely.
A nice-sized cock with a bulging head. Exactly the right size for popping into your mouth and sucking on. So that’s what I did. It felt good…thick
and tasty. I rolled my tongue around the head, and was rewarded with a gasp of pleasure from Mitch. I turned to look at Ricardo, and saw that he had also stripped out of his shorts, as well as discarding his T-shirt. His cock was a little longer and thinner than Mitch’s, and he was working it into a firmer erection in his hands.
So here I was with two hot, naked men in my bedroom. My Florida vacation wasn’t turning out to be so bad after all. I felt a little overdressed now, with the towel still half-wrapped around me, so I pulled it aside and dropped it to the floor.
Now it was Ricardo who gasped. ‘Oh, look at those tits. They’re just awesome!’
I took Mitch’s dick out of my mouth for a moment. ‘Then come and try them. You can suck my nipples while I suck your friend’s dick.’
‘All right!’
Ricardo was kneeling beside me in a moment, taking my breasts in his hands. I turned my attention back to Mitch and slipped his member back in my mouth. I pushed it deeper and deeper inside until I felt I was about to gag, and then pulled out again. Meanwhile, Ricardo had switched his hands for his mouth, and was now exploring my nipples with his tongue. My nipples hardened instantly, and this time it wasn’t the cold weather that was doing it.
Mitch ran his fingers through my hair as I sucked hard on his dick.
‘That’s awesome, baby,’ he said. ‘Just keep doing what you are doing. This is a whole lot more fun than skimming swimming pools.’
I would have replied, but I had my mouth full at that particular moment, so I just kept on sucking. I was exploring the contours of his dick, loving the way the veins traced around the outside, and how the head bulged until it almost throbbed. If Ramona was right, and it turned out that God really was behind all this creation stuff, then I would have to applaud him for penis design. He had really excelled himself with that idea. He had come up with just the right shape and texture.
Ricardo was doing a great job with his tongue, and I began to feel I should reciprocate. It seemed a little unfair that Mitch was getting all the fellatio. So I turned and gently pushed Ricardo away so that I could get a better look at him. I don’t know about his pool cleaning equipment, but his pussy-cleansing equipment was looking in pretty good shape. I teased him a little by starting right down in his balls, flicking a few tiny licks at his sacs. Now it was Ricardo’s turn to let out a gasp. Heck, we were gasping all round. But I couldn’t blame him. If I say so myself, I’m pretty good in the man-pleasing stakes. You know what they say – practice makes perfect, and I’ve had a lot of practice.
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