by Maggie Marr
Aubrey leaned toward Shelly and whispered, “I really like her. I’ve been trying to work some matchmaking magic, but I’m not sure if she’s right for Leo or for Anthony.”
Shelly’s stomach pitted. Anthony? Her Anthony? She forced a smile to her face. Was it possible Aubrey didn’t know about Shelly and Anthony’s past? More than possible, actually, if Anthony and Justin had been getting along as poorly as she’d witnessed last night. Plus, Anthony had completely insulted Aubrey with the whole DNA test. Anthony and Aubrey probably hadn’t had any heart-to-heart, tell-me-your-life-story sessions, and Justin probably didn’t have much to say to his new bride about the brother who was being such a jerk to her.
So yeah, to Aubrey, Shelly might just be a girl the brothers had grown up with, Mrs. Bello’s granddaughter, not the former love of Anthony Travati’s life.
“You’re glowing!” Gwen leaned in and kissed both of Aubrey’s cheeks. Shelly looked at her from head to toe.
“This is Shelly Bello,” Aubrey said. “She grew up with the guys. Like a sister, from what I’ve heard. She’s in from San Francisco for the holidays.”
“San Francisco!” Gwen gushed. “One of my all-time favorite cities. If I didn’t have my entire family in D.C., I’d be living in San Francisco. Do you love it?”
Her enthusiasm and beaming smile nearly knocked Shelly on her ass. She knew women like this, or had known, in her life before Texas. Something about them made her uncomfortable. Their constant smiles, their abject adoration of everything in life, and the way nothing ever seemed to bother them or make them sad.
“I do love it,” Shelly said. “I’ve only been there for about six months.”
“Oh! Wow. Where were you before?”
Heat flushed through Shelly’s chest and up her neck. She maintained her smile, but her lips tightened. “Texas,” she said, keeping her voice steady. This is when things always got tricky, or had in the last six months. Some people stopped their questions when she gave that one-word answer, sensing her discomfort, but others, whether out of curiosity or interest or because they were assholes, continued to ask questions. Questions that were uncomfortable for her to answer, because she didn’t want to have to discuss her past.
“I love Austin! It’s fabulous,” Gwen said. She punctuated her comment with a smile, then turned her attention to Aubrey.
Shelly swallowed. Took a deep breath. The awkward moment had passed. The knot in her chest loosened while Gwen and Aubrey discussed the decorations for the luncheon tomorrow afternoon. Would she ever feel comfortable about her past? Could she forgive herself for what she’d done and how strung out she’d been? For the rest of her life would she feel as though she clung to her sobriety like she was hanging from the edge of a great cliff by her fingertips?
“Oh, I think that will be lovely,” Aubrey said. “What do you think, Shelly?”
“Hmm?” Aubrey’s question jerked Shelly from her thoughts.
“The sleigh for Santa, we’ll put that in the center of the stage. And the teddy bear centerpieces include a bear for every child.”
Shelly nodded. “Sounds wonderful.” She’d get whiplash if she dove too deep into thoughts of her past while she stood here at the venue for a children’s Christmas charity event with a woman married to one of the richest men in the world.
Funny, she still didn’t think of the Travati brothers as billionaires, not even Tony, with his expensive car and custom-made suits. He was hard and focused now, not nearly as joyful and fun as she remembered. He covered himself in ultra-expensive clothes. His shoes must cost more than what she earned in a month working as a barista, she was sure.
But even last night, sitting high in the sky in a penthouse that was worth millions, both Justin and Anthony had still been those Travati boys, neighbors and compatriots who had run through sprinklers with her as kids and were best friends with her brother.
Shelly’s gaze swept the giant room, with all the decorations and all the people. The realization of just who the Travatis had become was sinking into her psyche. And in such a short time. When Vinnie had died, Justin had been well on the road to success. Anthony had just finished business school and had taken a job with Travati Financial and now…now, five years later, the brothers were four of the richest men in America.
“Let me show you the cookie-decorating station,” Gwen said, leading Aubrey across the room. Shelly followed three steps behind them.
A rock the size of a boulder had lodged in her throat, and that queasy feeling was back in her belly. She didn’t fit in here. Aubrey, with her smooth business demeanor, seemed meant to be a Travati wife, and Gwen too, with her great hair and perfect outfit, who organized these fabulous parties for the über-rich all the time. They were the type of women who fit this world, the new world that the Travatis inhabited. Who was she? Just a girl from Long Island who’d ditched college for drugs.
Her heart thumped hard inside her chest.
Done anything for drugs.
“Aubrey, I think…would you mind if I head home?”
Aubrey spun around, teetering a bit like a Weeble Wobble. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, no, I just…I have some Christmas things to do and I promised my grandmother I’d help her with the wrapping and—”
“I’ll take you—”
“No, no, no, I’m sorry. I don’t want to mess up your plans.” Shelly wound the loose end of the scarf she had borrowed from Nonna around her throat. “I just, I forgot how close we were to Christmas until I saw all this.”
“Take the car then, at least,” Aubrey said, referring to the chauffeured SUV that had brought Shelly into the city. “I’ll be here for a while, and you can send him back for me. Please.” The hopeful look on Aubrey’s face held concern, and a bit of worry.
Aubrey was truly nice and kind. Really, if Shelly hadn’t fucked up her own life so badly, Aubrey might have ended up being a good friend.
“Okay. Thanks,” Shelly said. She hoisted her bag higher on her shoulder as she took a step back, preparing to leave.
“It was nice meeting you,” Gwen called. “See you tomorrow.”
Shelly nodded, smiled, and scurried away, knowing in her heart that Gwen was the type of woman Anthony should have in his life, not the broken, battered woman she had become.
*
“Anthony, you brought more treats?” Mrs. Bello nodded at the red and white Carmine’s bakery box he had handed to her. “I’m baking, too. I can’t eat all this, and I know Shelly can’t either. She’s as big around as a broom handle.”
Anthony stomped his feet on the concrete steps. The morning sleet had turned to afternoon snow, which had bled into the evening. The flakes turned into drifts that grew deeper and deeper.
“I just made espresso, come get out of the cold.”
Anthony slipped off his coat as Mrs. Bello walked toward the kitchen.
Why was he here? This made three days in a row. He usually saw Mrs. Bello once a week, perhaps even twice, but he didn’t come every day. He definitely didn’t have his assistant clear his schedule of meetings and a dinner engagement so that he could come visit Mrs. Bello in Long Island, as he had done today. No, that he didn’t do.
“Shelly’s not back yet,” Mrs. Bello called over her shoulder.
His body warmed. Shelly. That was why he was here again. Sure, he could pretend that he wasn’t on Mrs. Bello’s doorstep because Shelly was home. He could make up a dozen excuses as to why he was here for the third time in as many days. He might even give those excuses to Mrs. Bello and to Shelly herself, but he was, it was true, here for Shelly. And to understand a piece of his past. A childhood that had been simple and filled with love. A childhood before parents abandoned children and died and best friends got shot up in foreign wars and girlfriends ran away and became drug addicts and little brothers were faced with either jail time or ratting on a Russian mobster.
Yes, he missed those simple, wonderful, easy times. There’d been nothing but loud music, fast c
ars, cold beer, and Vinnie driving with Shelly scrunched between them in the front seat on more Friday nights than Anthony could count. He stood in front of the wall of pictures and peered into his best friend’s face. Vinnie, young and confident in his dress-blue Marine uniform, looking sure that he was doing exactly what he wanted to do.
“Where’d she go?” Anthony called.
“She’s with Aubrey. They were checking on the decorations for the Teddy Bear Luncheon.” Mrs. Bello’s voice grew louder as she entered the room carrying a tray. Anthony hurried over to liberate the tray from her hands.
“You complaining about me always bringing you food, but you’re always trying to feed me,” he teased. She had brought out a plate full of the Christmas cookies from Carmine’s, as well as two espressos. “Swear to God, I’ve gained seven pounds in the last three days.”
“That can’t be all my fault,” Mrs. Bello said, sitting on the couch. “I hear your sister-in-law had quite a nice dinner last night.”
Shame flashed in his heart. His sister-in-law. Yes, that was what Aubrey was, and he hadn’t been treating her very much like a sister, even after she’d married Justin.
A Travati didn’t enjoy being wrong. Being wrong meant he owed an apology. Damn, he was going to have to make things right with Aubrey and Justin, and even Max.
“Last night was…” Anthony paused, not sure how to continue. He could gloss over his feelings, but Mrs. Bello would see right through his facade.
“I like Aubrey,” Mrs. Bello said. “I think she and Justin are well matched.”
“You’re right.” He glanced down, suddenly feeling like an eleven-year-old kid who got caught throwing a football in the house. “I might not have been sure before now, but you’re right. They are well matched.”
“Well, we wouldn’t always pick the people for our family that they pick for themselves. I mean, I love you Anthony, but I remember when you and Shelly started dating. Vinnie wasn’t very happy about the situation.”
“Not happy is an understatement.” A smile crept over Anthony’s face. He’d earned a black eye from his best friend when Vinnie discovered that Anthony and Shelly had been sliding out together on the sly.
“But you won him over, as I remember.”
Anthony nodded. He’d made some serious promises to Vinnie to get his best friend’s blessing. Promises that he might have forgotten.
“She…Shelly seems good.”
Mrs. Bello nodded. Her smile remained, but worry flooded her eyes. “She seems better. But I think…I think she feels a lot of guilt. I’m not certain she’s forgiven herself for the past. I don’t think she got over losing Vinnie, came to peace with it. And I definitely don’t think she’s forgiven herself for what happened between you two.”
Anthony lifted an eyebrow. So he wasn’t the only person who harbored guilt over the demise of their relationship. He’d carried it so long: Guilt that he’d let Shelly get away from him in Texas; guilt for not finding her again; guilt for not spending more time trying to convince her to come home, get help, surround herself with the support of her family and close friends.
“You shouldn’t blame yourself,” Mrs. Bello said, as though reading his mind. “Both of you are stubborn. Your father and her father were friends but stubborn, oh so stubborn. Maybe you should both forgive each other for the things you think you did wrong? Maybe you start fresh and—”
The suctioning sound of the weather strip seal on the front door opening broke through Mrs. Bello’s words.
Shelly walked into the house, shaking her blonde hair and stomping her boots. “Nonna, the weather outside, jeez, I forgot what it’s like! So cold, just bites through the bones.”
Anthony’s blood heated. His eyes burned over her pale golden hair and long graceful neck, her slender legs and a waist that he wanted to wrap his hands around. The soft, absent smile on her face as she walked to the closet. Those lips, those lips he’d kissed and caressed and made call his name…repeatedly. Could he still? Would she still?
Shelly flipped her long golden locks over her shoulders as she pulled off her coat, and her gaze landed on him. Her lips opened in surprise, and her already flushed cheeks seemed to redden even further.
“Hey, didn’t know you were here.” She hung her coat in the closet. “Don’t want to interrupt.” She turned toward the staircase.
“Come and sit with us. I’ve got more coffee in the kitchen, let me get it.” Mrs. Bello started to rise.
“No, I’ll get it.” Shelly swept by with a gentle touch on Mrs. Bello’s shoulder, pressing her back into her seat. Like a wisp of wind she whisked out of the room and into the kitchen.
Chapter 9
Why did he have to be here? Walking over hot coals would be less painful than returning to the living room. Ghosts, Anthony’s judgment, and all of Nonna’s hopes inhabited that room. The walls closed in around her.
Her throat tightened and her chest felt caught in a vise. Deep breath. She poured a cup of coffee. Focus on the now. This moment. One breath in…one breath out. Forget the past. She couldn’t control the future. All Shelly had, all anyone was guaranteed, was this moment, this very moment.
Then she sensed a change in the atmosphere of the room. The skin on her neck tingled. Her nipples tightened beneath her sweater. She didn’t need to turn around to know that Anthony stood in the kitchen behind her. Being beside him was like stepping into an electrical current, sharp and fizzing, with sparks arcing between them. She brought the porcelain Santa mug to her lips and turned to face Anthony.
The dark eyes. The lean body, perfectly kept. The sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up over his forearms. She swallowed and heat passed through her gut and in between her legs. That golden olive-toned skin, black hair, and ridged muscle of his arms. She took another sip of her coffee and forced her gaze away from Anthony’s arms, back up to his chocolate-brown eyes.
“When did you start wearing three-thousand-dollar suits, anyway?”
The corner of his mouth lifted in a playful look that she remembered from long ago. “When Justin did.”
“Ah, of course. Still fighting that battle, are you?”
“I thought we determined that in the car last night.”
“We didn’t determine anything, other than your disagreement with nearly every word that came out of my mouth.”
“Denial is probably a more accurate word than disagreement. One has to be in possession of the facts to adequately disagree.” Muscle rippled beneath his shirt as he crossed his arms over his chest.
Her breath shortened.
“It would seem I may owe some apologies.”
Her heart rattled about her chest. She swallowed. Desire hollowed out her belly. He stepped closer and she pressed back against the counter. No where to go, no where to run. She was boxed in. Really to be honest, being boxed in by Anthony didn’t feel so bad.
“What put you in possession of the facts?”
“Rain, sleet, a meeting with our attorneys. Your grandmother and you. Nearly everyone and everything pointing out that Justin is happy, Aubrey is a good person, and Max is my nephew.”
“That only took…what? Five months for you to admit?”
He stepped closer. Inches separated them. The heat of his breath skimmed the flesh of her face. “Slow learner.”
Her belly coiled with heat. His eyes, his lips, his body so close to her. Nearly touching hers. Aubrey leaned back and placed her mug on the counter. She started to turn, to pull away, to squeeze by Anthony. How long since she’d been this close to a man and not been high? Been this aware? Most likely since the last time she’d been with Anthony. Could it really be that long?
“I…I should go check on Nonna—”
“She’s gone up to bed.” His voice velvet soft. A subtle emphasis on the final word. He reached out and tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear. Then he dropped both hands to the counter, one on either side of her. “Left us two alone to fend for ourselves.”
Shelly�
��s heart thundered in her chest. Fending for herself hadn’t turned out so well in the past. Now she was really boxed in, his body skimming hers. His eyes flickered from her chin to her lips, then back up to her gaze.
“I may owe you an apology for last night.”
“May?”
Anthony dipped his chin, his eyes breaking contact with hers.
Apologies weren’t easy for Anthony.
“I do owe you an apology.”
She folded her arms over her chest, fortifying herself, standing her ground. There was a millimeter between her arms and his chest. His thick thighs touched hers. Her nipples rose pert and tight beneath her bra, and she wanted to give in to the desire to tilt her head, to feel his lips on her neck, to claim those lips with her own, to be the girl she once was with the man she’d loved. To press her whole body against him. Standing her ground was killing her, but she wouldn’t let Anthony know that. She locked her gaze onto his, waiting, waiting for the words that were so hard for Anthony to say.
“I’m sorry,” Anthony said, his voice a warm caress promising pleasure. “I’m sorry for my tone, for disregarding what you said, for saying unkind things to you.” He leaned in. His warm eyes pinning her with his gaze, his lips nearly touching hers, his huge beautiful body against hers. “I’m sorry.”
Shelly laid her palms on his chest. A tingle jetted through her fingertips. Solid muscle like hard carved steel. With every ounce of fortitude she possessed, she gently pushed Anthony away and slid out from between him and the counter.
A deep breath filled her lungs. For a moment she’d forgotten the past. For a moment she’d enjoyed Anthony’s proximity, without guilt and shame.
“I accept your apology,” Shelly said. “In return, I need to apologize to you as well.”
His jaw muscle flinched.
“It’s part of my program. I’m sorry for so many things—”