“I think I was your age. I got another bigger bike later, and this one was tucked away.”
“Did your brother have a bike, too?”
“He did. I don’t know where his bike is.” Jack glanced around. Beneath a window, a large box with his name and one with Daniel’s sat side by side. “Dub, can you sit on the floor for a few minutes while I check out these boxes? I might find something in there for you.”
“Treasures?” Dub asked as he settled cross-legged on the floor.
“You never know. I can’t remember what’s inside.”
Jack pushed open the small attic window before he, too, settled on the floor and tugged the box with his name toward him. He slid his hand under the flap.
“What is it?”
Jack pulled out hardbound childhood classics. “Books.”
“My sissies read lots. Can we bring them books?”
“Sure.” Jack pulled out a plastic bag filled with metal toy cars. “Look at this, Dub.”
Dub clapped his hands. “Whoa. Cars. What are you going to do with them?”
“They’re yours, if Miss Lucy says it’s okay.”
“She will. I know she will. Can we ask her?”
“Absolutely.” He held the bag out to Dub. “Why don’t you hold them for me?”
“Yes, sir, Mr. Jack.” Delight spread like jam across Dub’s freckled face.
“I want to look for...” Jack grinned as he pulled boots and a helmet from the box. “This is what I hoped we’d find. Boots. My old riding boots. You know what that means?”
“What?”
“You can ride Grace.”
Dub’s eyes lit up. “This has been a real good treasure hunt.”
“It has.” Jack reached for his brother’s box, hating that he was going to look inside, but unable to stop himself. The box held bits of his brother’s life and right now, at this moment, he needed to see those pieces.
He inched back one flap at a time. Toys. The letters DH had been written on the tag of a chocolate-brown chenille-stuffed bear. Lifting the toy to his face, he inhaled. How could that be? The soft fabric still smelled like Daniel.
Twenty-five years. How was it possible that in one breath he was nine years old again, having his heart torn from his chest once more?
Jack’s jaw tightened as he gripped the toy. He swallowed hard, his eyes filling with emotion.
“Jack?”
He turned at Lucy’s soft voice.
“Everything okay up here?” she asked from the top step to the attic.
“Yeth,” Dub answered. “Look, Miss Lucy. I have cars. Mr. Jack says I can keep them if you say I can. Can I?”
“Sure, Dub. Let’s take them downstairs.”
“What about the bike?” Dub asked.
“I’ll bring the bike downstairs and we can put it in the trunk of the car,” Jack said. “Go with Miss Lucy, Dub. I’ll be right there.”
“Mr. Jack, I like it here. Your aunt is nice and I like the fish, and the lemonade, too. Can we come back?” Dub asked quietly.
“Maybe.” Lucy met his gaze and he sighed. “We will come back, Dub. I promise.”
* * *
Jack sat where he was, staring out the small attic window at the tops of the peach trees in the orchard. Minutes later he heard footfalls on the steps again. “Jack, I can take the children to the ranch and come back for you later,” Lucy said softly.
“No. I’m coming. I...” He faltered. “The heaviness in my heart I’m used to. This... I didn’t expect this.”
“Your brother?”
“Yeah. Funny. You think you have a tight lid on your emotions. Everything is under control, and then when you least expect it, you’re blindsided.”
She sat down on the floor next to him and took his hand. “I’m so very sorry, Jack.”
He shrugged. “Why are you sorry?”
“I’m sorry because you’re hurting.”
She spoke with care, as though he were a child. And in a way, when it came to Daniel, he still was.
Lucy continued. “I understand grief. Maybe it’s the one thing you and I have in common. It isn’t just about loss. It’s about the past, the future and the now. Grief touches everything in our lives.”
Her petite hand clutched his with a strength he hadn’t realized she was capable of. “Despite the fact that you and I don’t see eye to eye on everything, I actually like you. I never want to see people I care about hurting.”
When he turned to her, tears were freely slipping down her face.
Jack released the tight, hard breath he was holding, allowing the sadness inside him to be released into that one breath. Dust scattered in the air.
“Lucy, there’s something you should know.” Jack closed his eyes as shame filled him. “It’s my fault my brother is dead.”
When he opened his eyes, her caring gaze met his.
She wiped her eyes and placed a hand on his arm but said nothing. The warmth of her touch encouraged him to continue.
“We were playing outside. My family lived in Tulsa then. Typical for me, I was so engrossed in reading that I didn’t notice when Daniel ran out from in-between two parked cars to chase his ball. Right into the street. He was hit by a car.”
A long silence swirled around them.
“How is that your fault?” she whispered.
“I’m the older brother, by minutes. Daniel was...impulsive. It was my job to look after him. That was always understood.”
“Oh, Jack, surely you must see what an impossible burden that was for you at that age. Like our friend Dub downstairs. You were a child, Jack. A child. And it was an accident. A tragic accident.”
Jack sucked in a breath of air. He wanted to believe that. Desperately. But he couldn’t.
“You will never be free until you give this burden to God and let it go.”
“I’m sure even God is disappointed in me for that day.”
“It’s been, what? Over twenty-five years?
“You don’t understand.”
“Oh, but I do. I do. There were a thousand what-ifs about that day in the car with my parents.”
Jack reached out, and this time it was he who took her hand, enveloping her softness in his large hand as though it was something he did every day. She didn’t pull away. “I’ve never told anyone about this,” he murmured.
Lucy nodded.
“My mother left us when Daniel died.”
“It’s a horrible thing to lose a child. We can never say how we might react.” She sighed. “This is why my job at the ranch is so important to me. I want to save all the children.” Her voice cracked. “Sometimes you can’t, can you?”
“No. I suppose not.”
Moments later, he turned his head and met her gaze. “Thank you, Lucy.”
“Jack, we’re sort of friends now. Friends are there for each other.”
“Sort of friends?” The words made him smile.
“Yes,” she breathed softly in response.
He still held her hand, and he could feel her pulse jump when she looked at him.
He leaned forward and touched his forehead to hers. “Sort of friends. Right,” he said with a soft chuckle. Then he stood and pulled her to her feet. “Come on, let’s go down.”
“Yes, we better. Your aunt is feeding the children lemonade and cookies. They should be bouncing off the walls by now.”
“You left my seventy-eight-year-old aunt with three kids?”
“She was having a great time. Maybe you should consider making promises to Dub more often. She’d love that.”
“More promises. That’s a little scary.”
She patted his arm. “It gets easier every time.”
He looked into her eyes and realized that things were only getting easier because of Lucy. T
hat thought alone shook him.
* * *
Lucy waved a hand in front Jack’s face as he leaned against the pen fence. “Are you awake?”
“I’m sleeping with my eyes open. A trick I learned as a law student riding the subway to class.”
“Impressive.”
“Not really.” He grimaced and shot an accusatory look at the sky. “The sun has risen, so I guess it’s too late to go back to bed.”
She inhaled and assessed the deep blue panorama overhead. “Don’t be silly. This is going to be a lovely day. Not nearly as hot as usual, either.”
Jack yawned and stretched. He glanced around. His expressive face clearly said he was unimpressed with the sight of the ranch at 6:00 a.m. “Remind me why you’re here?”
“Pardon me?” she squeaked.
“That’s not what I meant. I promised Dub. You shouldn’t have to be inconvenienced.” He pulled out his phone and groaned. “Aren’t the horses still sleeping?”
“I’m here because you aren’t a certified instructor, thus you are not qualified to take Dub horseback riding alone.”
“Did you just insult my equestrian skills?”
“You were on a saddle for the first time since you were a kid two weeks ago. I’m a certified instructor. I’ll help you with Dub. My insurance carrier will be much happier that way.”
“Fine, boss. So which horses?”
“Dub wants Grace.”
“Isn’t Grace a bit more horse than a five-year-old can handle?” he asked.
“Grace is a beginner horse. All the kids start on Grace.”
He was suddenly wide-awake, his gray eyes round with a pointed accusation. “You put me on a kiddie horse for the trail ride?”
“You did fine.”
“That’s because I didn’t realize I had training wheels.”
Lucy laughed. “You hadn’t ridden a horse in two decades. What did you expect me to set you loose on?”
“Was everyone laughing behind my back?”
“Not at all. You did great.”
“I can’t believe Grace never let on. She kept eating those carrots I gave her and never said a word.” Jack shook his head with obvious disgust. “So which horse will I be riding today?”
“Chloe. She’s spirited, yet very well trained.”
“That still doesn’t explain why we’re doing this so early.”
“Apparently your coffee is not doing its job.” She slowed her words. “You promised Dub. The stables are very busy during the summer months. There’s a sign-up sheet for recreational riding and training. We were completely booked. I had to pull strings to get us this Friday-morning slot.”
“Maybe you missed the sign on your parking space, but you’re the director,” he said.
“That doesn’t matter. I play fair.”
She assessed his fancy stainless-steel container of coffee. “You know you can’t take that on the ride. Right?”
“Why not? I take it in the car.”
“When you ride, you focus on the horse, not coffee.”
“Yes, Madame Director.”
Lucy nodded toward the curb. “Lorna just dropped off Dub.”
They both turned in time to see Dub race to the stable entrance in his new riding boots. He wore a red polo shirt tucked neatly into his jeans.
“Wow, Dub, you look like a real equestrian,” Lucy said.
“What’s that mean?”
“It means you are ready to ride.”
He puffed out his chest and looked at Jack. “Ready to go, buddy?”
“I can see you are,” Jack said. “Nice boots.”
Dub grinned and stared at his feet. “Thanks, Mr. Jack.”
Lucy slid open the stable door.
“What’s my horse’s name again?” Jack asked.
“Chloe.”
“Chloe.” He started walking down the center aisle of the stable.
“Dub, do you know how to tack a horse?” Lucy asked the little guy.
“Yeth. Leo showed me. ’Cept I’m too little.”
“We don’t have much time today, so Mr. Jack will tack for you, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Tack his horse, Jack?” she called.
Jack nodded as he inspected each stall. When he stopped outside Chloe’s stall, his eyes rounded. “Lucy, this horse is as old as your Honda.”
“That is not true, and do not let Chloe hear you say that.”
He peeked over the stall door. “How about this one instead?”
Lucy carefully chose her words. “Zeus? That gelding is a bit strong-willed.”
“I can handle strong-willed.” He looked pointedly at her.
“Jack, I really don’t think...”
“Lucy, I can handle Zeus.”
“Fine. If you insist, but you will wear a helmet.”
“I didn’t wear one on the trail ride.”
“That was with Grace. No helmet, no Zeus. If you keep pushing me, I’ll have to insist on a riding vest, as well.”
“Helmet it is.” He rolled his eyes.
“Role model, Mr. Jack. Role model,” she murmured.
Lucy led Grace outside the barn once Jack had the horse saddled up. She gave Dub a boost onto the mare’s back. “Collect your reins,” she instructed.
“Like this?”
“Very good. Blaze and I are going to walk next to you this session. Grace and Blaze are good friends. Did you know that?”
“They are?”
She nodded.
“Where will we go?” Dub asked.
“Just down the trail to the big corral.”
“Keep your hands low and together on her neck,” Lucy instructed. She stroked Grace’s mane. “You’re a good horse, Grace.”
Lucy slid her foot in a stirrup and hopped onto Blaze at the same time that Jack trotted past them. Zeus offered an unhappy snort.
“Jack, you’re a little tight on the reins. Ease up. Zeus gets cranky if you pull on his mouth.”
“I got this.”
Zeus began to move faster.
“Don’t kick him,” Lucy said. “He doesn’t like to be kicked. A gentle squeeze will be sufficient.”
“Now you tell me!” Jack called back.
The discordant and loud vibrating trill of an old-fashioned alarm clock ripped through the quiet morning.
A cell phone alarm? It must be Jack’s.
Clearly distressed, Zeus began to buck.
“Hold on to the horn!” Lucy yelled as Jack flailed back and forth in the saddle.
She turned to Dub. “Keep Grace very still. Okay?”
The little boy nodded.
Lucy clicked her tongue and nudged Blaze toward Jack. “Toss me the phone, Jack.”
Without looking, he threw the device in her direction. It bounced on the ground, but the alarm kept going.
Lucy slid off Blaze and scooped up the phone, fiddling with the screen until the noise stopped.
“Whoa. Zeus. Whoa,” Jack said. Though he pulled up on the reins, he began to slide sideways off the saddle.
When Zeus finally obeyed and stopped, Jack was dumped unceremoniously to the ground on his backside.
Lucy ran and grabbed the horse’s reins.
“Mr. Jack, are you okay?” Dub hollered.
Jack stood, dusted himself off and yanked off his helmet. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Cowboys slide off like that to protect the horse. Happens all the time.”
Dub stared at him, confusion and concern on his face.
When Dub looked away, Lucy leaned over. “He can’t hear you. You can whimper now.”
“No, really,” Jack said. “I appreciate your concern, Madame Director, but I’m fine. Even though that crazed horse just threw me off, and I could have broken
every bone in my body.”
She handed him his phone. “You slid to the ground.”
“Whatever.” Jack stared at the cracked screen and slowly shook his head. Grabbing Zeus’s reins from her, he started walking toward the stables.
“Come on, Jack, you have to get back in the saddle. Literally.”
“Seriously? This horse hates me.”
“I didn’t mean Zeus. Chloe would love a morning ride. We’ll meet you at the corral.”
“Chloe, huh?”
“Yes. You can untack Zeus when we’re done. We only have the corral for the next twenty minutes. In the meantime, we’re burning daylight.”
“You aren’t going to say I told you so?”
Lucy put her foot in the stirrup and mounted Blaze. “No. We all make mistakes. The important thing is that we don’t waste our time with Dub.”
Jack stared at her for moments. Then he nodded. “You’re right.” A slow smile spread across his face before he turned toward the stable. “Thanks for reminding me of what’s important. It’s not every day I get to go riding with two of my favorite people.”
Lucy’s eyes rounded at his words. If he was messing with her, someone needed to notify her heart right away, because it had melted and she was dangerously close to falling for Jack Harris.
Chapter Ten
“Big Heart Ranch. Lucy Maxwell speaking.”
“Maxwell? This is Alberta Hammerton, returning Mr. Harris’s call. Is he available?”
“Mr. Harris?” Lucy blinked, confused.
“Yes. Your retreat facility coordinator. I have those quotes he requested.”
“May I take your number and have him call you back? He stepped out for a moment.”
“Who did you say you are?”
“Lucy Maxwell. Ranch director.”
“Thank you, Ms. Maxwell. Oh, and he has my number.”
“Perfect.”
She dropped the phone into its charger. “Retreat coordinator? Yes. Absolutely perfect.”
She turned to her computer, fingers flying across the keyboard until she pulled up the staff and volunteer schedule. A quick search on the spreadsheet directed her to Jack Harris’s schedule.
Stall mucking. Knee-deep in horse manure, and the man was still causing problems. A multitasking troublemaker.
The phone rang again, and Lucy grabbed the receiver a second time. “Big Heart Ranch, Lucy Maxwell speaking.”
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