by Bryn Roar
Tubby smiled and raised his hand. Mr. Pete ignored him. “Yeah, yeah. Another loopy kid to bust my chops. Is you ordering or what?”
While Tubby contemplated bolting from the diner, Josie covered her mouth and giggled. This was typical banter between theCreeps and Mr. Peteovich. Unlike most of the kids on the island, who Mr. Pete had little use for, ‘spoiled rich brats’ was how he referred to them, he was actually quite fond of Josie and her green-coated friends.
“Don’t get your girdle in a twist, Mr. Pete. I’ll have my usual, and make another of that to-go for my little bro.”
“He too skinny, that freckled brother of yours. I make it a double, hokay? Hokay.”
Josie beamed up at him.
Bud pointed to the menu-board behind the counter. “I think I’ll have the French toast today, Mr. Pete. Extra sausage, please.”
Gregor scowled and wagged a fat finger at Bud. “Too much sausage bad for heart! Two links! No more!”
Rusty proved Josie’s theory on his unflappable appetite by ordering nearly half of the breakfast menu. Used to this by now, Mr. Pete rolled his eyes and sighed again. He licked one greasy looking thumb, and used two pages on his pad to get Rusty’s order down.
Tubby stared at Rusty, waiting for the punch line. It had to be a gag, all that food. Rusty looked back at him blankly, pushing his glasses up on his nose.
“Well?” Mr. Pete said, waiting on Ralph. “What is you having, big boy?”
Startled, Tubby jumped in his seat. “Oh! I guess I’ll just have some unbuttered wheat toast and a large apple juice. That is, if it’s unsweetened.”
Mr. Pete scribbled it down and walked away to take an order from another table. Rusty made a face. “Damn, Opie. That’s all you’re having? Didn’t Joe tell you this all goes on our Tab? Cause if money’s the problem—”
“No. I’m just not that hungry,” Tubby lied. He was actually famished but he’d made up his mind last night that he was finally going to do something about his weight. Maybe Josie would look at him differently then.
Rusty shrugged. “Okay, but don’t be eying my food, Opie. Touch my plate and I’ll stab you with this fork! Now let’s get back to what you saw. How do you suppose they found out, Buddy boy?”
“I put in an anonymous call to the sheriff this morning before you woke up,” Bud said, avoiding Josie’s sudden glare.
Incredulous, Rusty stared back at his friend. “Why on earth would you do such a thing? And please tell me you didn’t use your own phone!”
Josie continued glaring at Bud.
“What? You think I’m stupid? I used a cell phone somebody left behind on the ride a week ago, and then I tossed it in Mr. Pete’s trash. No way Rupert could trace it back to me.” Seeing he hadn’t convinced them, Bud appealed to their reason. “Look, it had to be done. Even if Josie and I hadn’t run into that…” he blinked, trying to come up with a name for the red-eyed phantom, “…that thing on our way out of the Pines, there’s still no way of knowing if the Gray spread the virus around or not. If the four of us had given it some more thought yesterday, before starting that damn fire…
At this, Bud huddled in closer. “Then we would’ve known we were only stalling the inevitable! We have to tell the authorities about the rabies!”
“Maybe they already know,” Tubby said. “You suppose that’s the reason they’re out there right now?”
“That was my other reason for calling.” Bud fiddled with the top of his Zippo, nervously opening and closing the lid. Click, clack. Click, clack. Click, clack.
Rusty put his hand over Bud’s lighter. “Now I get it, Gigantor. You were trying to smoke those lab rats out!”
“Shhh” said Josie.
Mr. Pete was bringing their order over. He set the huge tray on the table across from theirs and began to serve them. Rusty was already carving into a stack of wheatcakes before half his food was set before him.
“Gee whiz, that’s not fair,” Tubby said, staring hungrily at all those steaming carbs. “I’m gaining weight just looking at all that.”
Rusty pointed at his plate. “And yet all these calories will run through me like diarrhea through a duck.”
Josie pushed aside her plate. “Thanks for that lovely image, Gnat.”
Rusty snickered and turned to Bud. “So you suspected them, too, huh?”
“Where else could Scooby Doo on steroids have come from yesterday?”
“Zoinks, Shaggy!” Josie laughed, hiding her mouth with a napkin. Just as quickly, she was all business. “Now, Bud, I know this Center connection has got you all worked up, and that’s certainly understandable, but I think you need to leave this business alone now, hear? I mean, it’s not as if you haven’t tried getting out the warning!”
“Sure. I’ll leave it alone…as long as someone takes my call seriously.” Bud eyed them all soberly. “Listen, guys, there’s something else we need to discuss. I’m not going to ask any of you to lie for me. If you’re questioned—and since everyone on Moon knows we hang out in the Pines, I think we will be—I just need to know what you’re going to say in advance.”
“What do you mean?” Tubby asked.
“Well, if the Sheriff asks you if you’ve seen any strange dogs in the Pines lately, what’re you gonna say?”
Tubby shrugged. He had gone through his toast already and was hungrier than ever. “Gee, I don’t know, Bud. What do you want me to say?”
“It’s not what I want, Tubby. It’s—”
Josie put her hand on Bud’s arm, next to his plate. “You arse. Of course it’s what you want! Whether you want it to be or not. We’re not going to say anything that’s going to get you into trouble. Right?” she said, looking to Rusty and Tubby across the table. They nodded their heads in unison. “Okay. So let’s get our story straight then.”
Bud looked embarrassed. “Thanks guys. Really, though, I don’t have a clue. What do y’all think? Rusty?”
Rusty looked thoughtful as he tore into his second plate. Three Eggs over easy with a side of steaming yellow grits. “Because of the fire, I don’t think it’s wise to say we were anywhere near the Pines yesterday.”
Josie shook her head. “Nuh, uh, Gnat. At the very least, we have to say we witnessed the gray bitch behaving strangely…that is if they even ask.”
“Because if we don’t,” said Tubby, nodding his head, “there won’t be any corroborating evidence for them to take Bud’s anonymous call seriously.”
“That’s right, Hoss,” Bud said. When he’d shown Rusty the Aurora model left behind for him on the steamer trunk, Rusty confirmed his suspicions.
“‘Had to be Opie! Rusty had exclaimed. “‘He must’ve gotten it yesterday when he went back inside Moon Man’s to tee-tee. Oh, that sneaky-ass white boy.’”
The gesture had touched Bud's gruff heart. He smiled across the table. “Yeah, it’s important that Rupert take that call seriously. And since he’s already involved the Center, I’d say he has. Problem is, since there aren’t any remains from which they can test, all they’ll have is that anonymous phone call to go on. And I don’t think that’s reason enough to warrant a full investigation.”
“What about that thing from last night?”
“What about it, Joe?”
“Bud, you may have shot that red-eyed thing—dog, whatever. Right between the feckin’ eyes! For all we know it could be gathering flies in the Pines right now.”
“That’s right,” Rusty said, snapping his fingers. “If they do find it, then we won’t have to get involved at all!”
“How do you figure?” Tubby asked.
“As soon as they test the remains, they’ll discover the rabies. It’s in the Central Nervous System, I think.”
“Then they can take all the necessary precautions without our two-cents,” Josie said. “Maybe that’s what they were doing in the Pines. Checking out the remains.”
Bud shrugged. “Maybe. But before we concoct some story we need to find out what they know.”
Rusty groaned. “Which means we have to go back into the Pines.” He pushed his still full plate of eggs aside.
His appetite wasn’t invincible after all.
*******
After Bud finished telling them what he had in mind, Josie placed a hand on his thigh and asked him, “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Bud was wearing his Property of the Moon River Academy gym shorts and his favorite red T-shirt. The one with the faded Famous Monsters of Filmland logo on the front. Garfield sold it to him last year.
He cleared his throat and despite the pleasure it gave him, pushed her cool hand off his flushed thigh. “I do think it’s a good idea. Eventually, we’re all going to get the third degree, and I’d like to know what they know before we say a damn thing. Besides, I need someone to open up the museum, and I don’t want you in the Pines until I—”
“I can take care of meself,” Josie said, hot under the collar. “I don’t need you to protect me, Bud Brown!”
“I know that,” Bud said, looking around, embarrassed. Tubby and Rusty averted their eyes. “Just do me a favor and humor me, Joe. Just this once, huh?”
Josie cocked her head to one side, giving Bud the old stink eye. “Just this once, boyo. But don’t you be getting used to it!” She slid out of the booth and motioned for Rusty to join her. “I need to talk to Gnat, anyway. Take Ralphie with you on your little safari. I don’t want you out there all by yourself.”
It wasn’t a suggestion, and Bud knew it. He’d wanted to do some reconnaissance on his own but he knew when to pick his fights. It was enough that he’d managed to keep Josie out of harm’s way. Besides, if he argued the point it would really hurt Tubby’s feelings. “Sure thing, Red. Tubby and I will see what’s what. When we find out something, we’ll head back to the museum.” He made a gesture to huddle up, and their heads all closed in on his.
“Now if Rupert questions you before we get back, tell him that we did see a strange dog in the Pines yesterday, acting kinda loopy, you know, slobbering and all, and that we kept our distance from it. Say we saw it at Lizard Lake, on the swamp side. And that we left the woods before four o’clock! In case Henderson tries to pin the fire on us. If Tubby and I run into him in the Pines, we’ll tell him the same thing. Don’t embellish, though! That way our stories won’t contradict each other.”
Relieved, Rusty slid out of the booth before they could change their minds. He didn’t want a repeat performance of yesterday’s events. He grabbed Josie by the hand and nearly dragged her from the diner.
Bud watched Josie head for the door, enjoying the way she filled out that Godfather T-shirt; the way her butt strained the denim in her old blue jean cut offs, switching side to side like a thing alive. Funny thing, she’d worn those same shorts the year before, and they had been flat on her hips and behind. Now they were chock-a-block with sweet Josie goodness. Maybe too much so…
Every man in the diner turned on his stool to watch Josie O’Hara leave the restaurant. Even Minister Milo Tipple leaned back to sneak a peek, nearly falling off his seat. Bud could hardly blame the men. The frayed hem of Josie’s shorts failed to cover that teasing swell of the lower buttocks. That pleasing pinch of female flesh beneath the swollen back pockets. Such a sight made it nigh impossible for any straight man to keep his eyes in his own head.
Annoyed, Bud cleared his throat, until one by one the older men returned their chagrined focus on the coffee cups in front of them. To Bud’s surprise, the only one left staring was Ralph Emerson Tolson.
*******
Josie went over to the concessions counter where Rusty was counting out the change. She had already gotten the box office ready, and it was almost time to unlock the front doors. Joel would be here soon for his breakfast. Before that happened, though, she needed some privacy with her trusty old sounding board.
Rusty looked up from his counting and did a double take. Josie had an embarrassed, stricken look on her face. “What’s up, Big Red?” he asked, putting the change aside. “This about Buddy boy and you?”
Her eyes downcast, Josie nodded. Rusty jumped up on the counter and made himself comfortable beside her. Josie leaned her head on his shoulder. “Rustoleum, what do you know about sex?”
Rusty squirmed on the counter, uncomfortable with the question. “Probably no more than you, Red. Pretty much what we learned in Sex Ed., what we’ve seen in the movies.” He sniffed. “What’s on your mind, girl?”
Josie shrugged; her eyes still on her canvas Nikes. Her little toe peeked out the side of her right shoe. She wiggled it. “Because I need to know what a guy’s thinking when he’s…excited…and that’s something Miss Ibeken didn’t cover in health class.”
Rusty took a deep breath. “Joe…have you and Bud had sex already?”
“As if! You know me better than that, Gnat! We just started this thing yesterday! I’m not a slut, you know!”
He held his hands up in surrender. “All right, all right! My bad. But look here, girl. If we’re gonna be talking about this stuff, you can’t be yelling at me ‘cause I asked the wrong question or said the wrong damn thing. After all, I’m a lot less experienced than you!”
“Shite, Rusty, just ‘cause Buddy boy and I kissed some doesn’t make me experienced. Jeez alou!”
“I’m talking about puberty, Red. In case you hadn’t noticed, I haven’t reached it yet.”
Josie didn’t know what to say to that. “Gee, love, I’m sorry. It’s not something I think about to tell you the truth. I’m sure you will soon enough. I mean, I didn’t hit it meself until I was fifteen! Anyway, I don’t think it’s a prerequisite for answering the questions on my mind.”
“Okay. I can sure try.”
Josie took a deep breath of her own. “All right, first off, I’m not interested in having real sex any time soon.”
“Course not. You don’t want to get pregnant.”
“Well, there’s that, naturally, but mostly because I’m too young. I mean, just ‘cause I look like this doesn’t mean I’m ready up here,” she said, tapping her head with one finger. My guess is, neither is Bud.”
“So what’s the problem? Are you worried about Buddy boy getting worked up, maybe forcing himself—”
“No!” Josie snapped. She saw the irked look on Rusty’s face and apologized. “I’m sorry. I know you’re trying—but no, I’m not worried about that at all. Bud would never force himself on me.”
“I don’t get it then.”
“He gets…Hard!” she blurted out.
“Huh?”
Josie sighed. This was turning out to be tougher than she thought. It was times like these when she wished she had another female perspective in her life. “Buddy boy gets erections,” she whispered to her feet.
Rusty laughed so hard he almost fell off the counter. “Well, of course he does! The way you flirt with him and all! That touchy feely shit gets a dick’s attention, Joe.”
“Really?” The thought made her feel awful. “Does it hurt when the penis gets hard like that? Bud acts like it hurts…and don’t call it a Dick. That’s so vulgar.”
Rusty giggled. “Sorry, Church Lady. Now to your query regarding penile pain,” he said teasingly. “I can’t speak from experience, mind you, but not from what I’ve read. But I believe it can become quite uncomfortable if…”
“Go ahead,” she urged her reluctant friend, “If?”