by Bryn Roar
She walked Joel over to the Drive-In, where Rusty and Tubby were already waiting
“Don’t forget to pick up that item we talked about,” said Rusty, giving Josie a wink. Josie ignored him and then told them to meet her and Bud at the museum at six sharp.
“Can I come, too?” said Joel, looking up at his sister hopefully.
“No!” Josie snapped, more harshly than she’d intended.
“Well, who gives a shit then! Just leave me alone with that crazy old drunk! I don’t care anymore!”
Tubby and Rusty looked away, knowing the poor kid was in for it now.
Josie grabbed Joel by the ear and pulled him aside where she could scold him in private. “Joel Samuel O’Hara, don’t you ever call our mother that word again! She’s trying to be a better person! The least you—”
“She’s not better,” he said, so sadly, so directly that Josie took a step back. “She’s worse. Something bad is inside her, Joe. Why can’t you see that?”
Josie groaned and checked her watch. She still had to get ready before Bud came by to pick her up. “We’ll talk about it when I get home tonight,” she promised him.
Joel didn’t look the least bit reassured. In fact, he appeared ready to start bawling.
She kissed him on his freckled forehead, and pushed him over to Ralph and Rusty, impatient to be on their way now. Joel turned around once more and waved at her. Staring at Josie long and hard. As if he knew it was the very last time he’d ever see his sister again.
*******
Rusty and Tubby hung tight together that day at school. Without Bud by their side, they felt like little sheep whose guard dog had forgotten to show up for work. Defenseless in a wilderness of wolves. Therefore they were greatly relieved to discover an epidemic of school absences had taken place. Including Josie and Bud, off playing hooky in Beaufort, Lester Noonan and Tansy Wilky were also no-shows that morning, not to mention many of their respective lackies. And without the two biggest rectums in school, the other assholes seemed to relax a tad, barely taking time out to dole out their random acts of meanness. Even a few of the teachers had called in sick.
“Hurricane flu,” Rusty called it. “It crops up before every big blow; people using the approaching storm as an excuse to skip school, work, or whatever.”
Later, theCreeps would wonder at missing the obvious, the more ominous cause for all the absences that day. The boys ate lunch together in the nearly empty cafeteria and made plans to go to the doctor’s office at the same time after school. Neither of them really wanted their mothers to come along.
Rusty shuddered. “The thought of mom seeing me in my underwear makes me want to curl up and die.” Tubby agreed wholeheartedly with this assessment. This, despite the fact that their mothers saw them in their skivvies on a daily basis. They decided they would insist on going in together.
“Just don’t laugh at me, Gnat. Okay?”
“Shiiit. I won’t laugh, if you don’t laugh at me,” Rusty answered gravely in return.
*******
By the time the Browns’ picked Josie up, her earlier apprehension had begun to seem silly. Joel just wasn’t used to Shayna acting like a decent mother; that was all. He would get used to the idea, given time. That is if their mother really did mean to change. Josie had never been more hopeful. She actually said she loves me! Josie hadn’t heard those three words out of Shayna’s mouth since she’d said them to her husband’s empty coffin at the funeral, right before it was lowered into the ground.
Josie changed into her only pair of Levi’s, a snug tee that primly proclaimed Girls Don’t Poop, and her favorite red sneaks. She was tying herCreeps jacket around her waist when the Jeep’s horn tooted outside.
She stuck her head in Shayna’s darkened room and called out: “Mom?” Shayna, it must be noted here, though she was quite awake, did not reply.
*******
The ferry ride over to the mainland was so nice and the seas so calm it seemed unlikely that a major hurricane was less than three days away. Other than a few dingy clouds, scudding across the pale blue sky, it was a beautiful morning. The sun was bright and hot and the day seemed full of wondrous possibilities.
Josie and Bud stood at the bow, while Frank Tolson and Bill Brown talked of storm preparations down by the crowded stern. Josie told Bud of her plans for the day, and he expressed earnest delight in return. “That’s great, Big Red! Bout time you spent a little dough on yourself. Jeez alou, I wish I could hang out with you, but I promised the old man I’d help him load up the shutters.”
He took out a pack of cigarettes from the breast pocket of his coat and returned them in the same motion.
Bud hadn’t smoked around Josie since the other day in Margaritaville, when they’d kissed for the first time. She suspected he was cutting back because of her, and the thought warmed her worried heart.
“What’s that you say, youngun?” Bill Brown was walking towards them, Frank Tolson at his side, his lanky loose build in sharp contrast to Bilbo’s sturdier frame.
“I was just telling Joe I promised to help you load up the trailer today.”
“Well, if Mr. Tolson will agree to give me a hand, I don’t see why you two can’t go off together. What do ya say, Frank? Feel like working up a sweat?”
Frank looked absurdly cheerful at the prospect. “Sounds fine! Only, Bud…If Ralph asks, tell him you had a miserable time today. Okay? The poor kid really wanted to tag along.”
“You got it, Mr. T.”
Strolling over to the galley for coffee, Bill looked over at his new friend. “Mr. T, huh?”
“Yeah,” Frank said, his thin chest puffing out a little. “Haven’t you heard? That’s what all the kids are calling me.”
After the Moon Beam docked in Beaufort, Bill told Bud and Josie to meet them back on board for the two o’clock returning home. With Frank Tolson out of earshot, he reminded them of their appointments later on that afternoon, since Bidwell had still been too busy to see them that morning.
Josie kept her mouth shut. Bill didn’t need to know her true intentions. As much as she liked the man, it wasn’t any of his damn business. Nothing could make her set foot in that office again. Nothing! Or so she thought.
*******
Josie and Bud disembarked and waved as the Jeep drove by, Bilbo tooting the horn like a moron, trying to embarrass his son. Bud took Josie’s hand as they strolled towards the shops and restaurants lining historic Bay Street. It would have been cheaper for Josie to do her shopping at Wal-Mart, on the outskirts of town, but there was something romantic about shopping in the old towne district of Beaufort, a city that went back to the beginnings of this country. Josie had been smiling ever since Bud took her hand in his, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t wipe the lovesick look from her face.
The only thing more surprising was the identical crooked smile on Bud’s happy face.
Their first stop was at the Army/Navy Surplus Store. While Bud went searching for some lighter fluid for his Zippo, Josie sought out the army coats. She pulled the only 3XL off the rack and held it aloft, eyeballing it for size. She decided it would fit their newest member just fine, purchasing the coat with a satisfied little smile on her face. She knew what this coat would mean to Ralph Tolson. A badge of brotherhood he’d never known before.
A symbol of friendship and love.
He reminded her of Good ‘ol Charlie Brown. A loveable, round-headed loser, who’d never in his life gotten a Valentine’s card from a secret admirer. A hopeless romantic who’d never stolen a kiss from the pretty little red head down the street. A tireless dreamer who’d never been able to kick that football away without some laughing goon pulling it out from under his foot.
Josie couldn’t wait to see his face when he pulled that clean, green jacket out of the box, slowly slip it on, and finally realize he no longer walked the earth alone. His impending happiness humbled Josie down to her toes. Glancing around the store, she wiped a tear from her eye.
<
br /> Bud was waiting on the sidewalk when Josie came out with her first package of the day. Fiddling with his Zippo. Opening and closing the lid. Click, clack. Click, clack. Click, clack. All the while staring out into some tumultuous inner space. Josie recognized the tense posture and the haunted look in his blue eyes.
“Your dreams?” she asked him. She took his hand again, and they made their way down Bay Street. It was a sensitive subject, and as usual, Josie tiptoed around it.
He nodded, peering off into the distance. As if his dreams were playing out on the horizon for only him to see. He wouldn’t elaborate, though, and Josie knew to leave well-enough alone. Besides, he was brooding a whole lot less these days. And that was blessing enough.
They stopped off at a set of wooden stairs leading up to Ella Day’s. A seamstress who conducted her business right over Marilyn’s Dress Shop. Marilyn’s specialized in clothes and undergarments for statuesque women. In both the practical and sensual sense. Josie had dreamed of someday having enough money to shop in the upscale store. Now she did!
She handed the box to Bud. "Aye, would ya look at that! They’re having a big sale! Would you mind taking the jacket up to Mrs. Day?” she said, practically jumping up and down. “At these prices I can double me haul!”
Ella Day was a nice old black woman who didn’t say much, and charged them even less for the iconic stitch work on their jackets. She took the coat and Bud’s instructions and told him he could pick it up in two hours.
Bud returned to the store below and stood at the glass door, peering in.
Studying her reflection in one of those three-way mirrors, Josie was checking out her rear end in a new pair of pants. She saw Bud in the reflection and impatiently waved him inside.
Bud blushed as he passed a woman buying bras for her teenage daughter. The lady, dressed in a preppy tennis outfit, the kind that was seldom employed to actually play tennis, eyed his army coat with open disdain. Her gum-smacking daughter casually tugged at the top half of her breasts, encased in a push-up bra that wasn’t at all necessary for her abundant figure. The look she gave Bud was frank and inviting.
The sales clerk held an assortment of bras for Josie to try on, and the blush on Bud’s face deepened. Never having been in a lingerie/dress shop before, he felt as conspicuous as a turd on a wedding cake.
The sales woman, a withered old crone, approximately the same age as Grandma Moses, looked at him askance when Josie asked for his opinion.
“What do you think, Buddy boy?” She lifted up the tail of her shirt and pointed her rear end at him.
Bud bit his lip to keep from telling Josie exactly what he thought. His face was lobster red by this point.
“Can you see my panty lines through these?”
Bud’s eyes went back and forth from Josie to the old sale’s woman. She looked scandalized enough to throw them both out on their ears. He felt lightheaded and dizzy.
Josie came to his rescue. “Thank you, ma’am. I can manage from here,” she said, taking the bras from her.
The old woman looked down her nose and stalked off to her counter, surprisingly spry for her age.
Josie sighed. “There. The big bad biddy is all gone. Feel better now?”
Bud looked back at the sale’s clerk, now ringing up the gum smacker. “I guess so, but I don’t think I should be in here, Joe. Why can’t I wait outside?”
“Jaysus pleezus! Man up, will ya, Bud? You know I’m no girly-girl! I need your input. My khakis are worn so thin they’re practically see-through these days. And I’m sick and tired of guys at school staring at me bum all day!”
Bud blinked in sudden comprehension. “Ohhh. So that’s why you’re always wearing your shirttail out at school.” He hadn’t realized Josie was so sensitive to all of the recent ogling. She acted like it didn’t bother her at all.
“Yeah, except for when Weatherbee makes me tuck it back in. Then me hienie is on display for every jackass to gape at. So will you please help me? I need a girlfriend for this kinda stuff, but you’re all I got.”
“Sure thing, Red. Turn around again.” Josie lifted up the tail of her shirt, looking over her shoulder. Bud could tell the fabric was on the thin side. After repeated washings, she would be back in the same old boat.
Looking around, he saw the familiar mallard head logo on the wall. “Better try on some Duck Heads. Maybe not so snug this time. If you don’t want those horndogs sniffin’ around as much, make ‘em a little baggy.”
“Good idea, love.” She kissed him on his cheek, and then padded over to the pants rack in her bare feet. Bud found a chair facing the mirrors and prepared to be on his best behavior. He watched his girlfriend add six more pants to the bras she planned on trying on afterwards. Satisfied with her selections, Josie made for the dressing rooms.
Twenty minutes later, and with her search for the perfect pair of pants complete, Josie focused her efforts on finding the perfect bra. Quite possibly an even bigger endeavor. “What do you think of this one?” she asked Bud, referring to the white sports number she had on when he peeked over the top of the stall. He drew the line at entering her dressing booth. Grandma Moses was upset enough as it was. If he entered Josie’s dressing room, he had no doubt the old lady would call in the National Guard.
Josie, as usual, was oblivious to the sexual overtones. Clad only in her faded Levi’s, with the ragged holes in the knees (her candy red toenails peeking over the edge of the frayed hem), Josie didn’t realize how provocative she looked. “Are you listening to me, Bud?”
“Huh?” he said, blinking at all that freckled cleavage. “What’d you say?”
“I said, what do you think of this one? You think its sturdy enough to hold the Bobble Twins in check?” Josie wiggled vigorously in place, testing the bra’s ability to do just that. “Ooops! Well, hello there!”
“I guess not,” Bud said, gulping.
Thrilled to be shopping for herself for once, Josie tried on eight more bras, asking Bud’s opinion every single time. As if he had a clue. To his disappointment, there weren’t any more wardrobe malfunctions.
She decided on four, wearing one out of the store underneath her Girls Don’t Poop T-shirt. Her breasts had never felt so comfortable or contained in an undergarment. Her back even felt straighter!
Bud sighed. “Man, except for that one bit of fun back there that was brutal. I didn’t think we’d ever leave.”
He shaded his eyes from the noonday sun. “Well, at least it’s over and done with.” He had a sudden distressing thought. “It is over…isn’t it, Joe?”
“Almost,” she laughed, wrapping her arm around his waist. Thanks to the Half-Off Sale, the shopping bags were pleasantly packed. They contained three pairs of Duck Heads, new Levi’s, three polo shirts for school, two more regular bras, and a sports bra, which she was eager to try out later on with a run. Added as an afterthought was a slinky green dress that was the costliest thing in her bags. It matched her eyes and hugged the contours of her hourglass figure like a silk glove. Though she didn’t mention it, she thought it perfect for the upcoming Senior Prom. Trying it on had made her feel grown up and sexy. And by the look on Bud’s avid face, he was most definitely in favor of her last-second impulse-buy. Shayna had a pair of emerald high heels that would fully complete the drop dead presentation! Topping off the contents of both shopping bags were several new pairs of panties, in various colors and styles, her old ones having seen better days and a tinier teasy. For Josie O’Hara, it was the shopping spree of a lifetime. Of the three-hundred-smackeroos Ham had given her, she had exactly thirty-two dollars left for the last item on her list.