by Alexa Milne
Ronnie took hold of my hands. “Talking of dancing…umm, there’s something else I’d like to ask you in the spirit of getting to know each other and moving toward being together. I know it’s soon, and you don’t have to say yes, even though I’d love you to—”
I placed a finger on her lips. “It’s okay,” I said, slowly. “Just ask me.”
“Right. Well. My sister is getting married next Saturday. I’m a bridesmaid and I’d like you to come with me—as my friend. Not girlfriend. I know it’s soon for that.”
Was it? I wasn’t sure. Girlfriend sounded nice to my ears.
“Are you ready to meet my family, Cass?”
Time to throw caution to the wind. I had the feeling it was all or nothing now. We couldn’t go back to what we’d had. “That’s dropping me in the deep end,” I said. “But on the plus side, it gives me an excuse to buy a new outfit. I’d love to come with you.” I could afford to treat myself to something new if I dipped into my funds.
“Good.” She pressed a palm to her chest and breathed out slowly. “Let’s go.”
Brighton was known for its shopping area, the Lanes, and we wandered through the many narrow streets with their little shops and cafes. The Internet had told us there were boutiques of all sorts, including those catering for women beyond a size ten.
“What about this one?” Ronnie asked, standing in front of a clothes shop painted in rainbow colors. “It says they have outfits perfect for a summer wedding.”
“What are you wearing?” I asked. “She’s not making you wear pink flounces, is she? You know you haven’t told me anything about her and her husband-to-be, or much about your mum.” I was curious, but I hadn’t said anything about mine either. “All you’ve said is how much you both owe her.”
“The answer to your first question is that the dress is dark green. There are no flounces and it has pockets. Marty’s nieces are also bridesmaids, but they’re only six and eight. Marty is the groom. My sister is Theresa. She’s a year younger than me. They’re having a civil service at a hotel with the reception there as well. It’s one of those fully inclusive packages. Why don’t we go in and I’ll tell you more later?”
In the end, I chose the first dress I tried on, as often happens. It wasn’t my usual structured style. The forecast said the heatwave would continue. This dress flowed from under the bodice, had mid-length sleeves and reached to mid-calf. I loved the multitude of purple shades. But the trouble with boutiques is they have boutique prices. I’d never spent so much on a single piece of clothing. It must have shown on my face.
“Let me,” Ronnie said. “After all, I invited you to the wedding. You’ll need shoes and a handbag too, and a hat if the sun is out.”
“I can’t,” I said. “I’ve always paid my own way. I’m sure there’ll be something else.” I put the dress back on the hanger.
She moved in closer. “But I want to see you in it. Please, let me. Consider it a birthday present for all those I missed.”
“But you’ve paid for this whole weekend,” I protested. I won’t deny I’ve let women buy me presents in the past, but this was different.
“Cass, I don’t care. I bet you don’t treat yourself often enough.” Had she guessed how I searched charity shops for the classic pieces I wore, or sometimes made my own versions? “I know you like to be in control, but this weekend…”
She didn’t need to finish. “Okay, just this once,” I conceded. “And I already have suitable shoes and a handbag. A big straw hat with a purple scarf wrapped around will do, or I can use the optional belt from the dress. It’ll be perfect.” Her smile set my heart fluttering. Shit, I had it bad. What the hell was happening to me?
“Of course it’ll be perfect. You’ll be wearing it.” She strode to the desk. “We’ll have this one, please.”
This Ronnie was so different. Here she was in command, used to giving instructions, and expecting great service. That I could bend her to my own will brought an aching desire to drag her into the changing room. Heat rushed to my face. Fuck. I never blush, but here I am.
Once outside, Ronnie took my elbow. “There’s another shop I want to visit just around the corner.”
We walked arm-in-arm down a lane lined with more shops and cafes. People sat outside in the sunshine and we had to maneuver around them. We stopped outside a shop which, from the display in the window, specialized in the more exotic and erotic end of lingerie.
“I ordered something for the wedding, and I need to collect it. They deliver, but I hoped you might like to have a look inside, too. They’re LGBT friendly.”
I wandered around the place while Ronnie collected her purchases. My gaze settled on some lingerie on display in the corner. I’d never seen anything similar. The background color was black, but it was decorated with embroidery patterned like stained glass with so many colors. It was beautiful but… Maybe I could dip into my savings for this instead of the dress? I had my two corsets and some pieces I kept for special occasions, but this was beyond them.
“Ready?”
I jumped when Ronnie appeared behind me and turned reluctantly away from the display. “Yes, let’s go to the pier and get fish and chips,” I said. “You can’t come to the seaside and not eat fish and chips, and I’m starving.”
Chapter Five
Veronica
I smiled to myself as we strolled, knowing the purchase I’d made included the very lingerie set Cass had stared at. I knew her size and the assistant had fetched them from the storeroom without Cass realizing. I’d seen this set in the catalog and was pleased with myself for knowing her tastes and how those tastes matched my own.
It had been years since I’d been to Brighton pier. I also wanted to try the new i360 tower. I knew from the way Cass had fucked me against the window on the twentieth floor that neither of us had a fear of heights. A flush of heat rushed through me at the memory.
We wandered around the pier and played on the slot machines, which seemed so much more complicated than they’d been when I was young. I said as much.
“Anyone would think you were ancient,” Cass replied, laughing. I loved her laugh.
“I am beyond thirty,” I admitted. “Though only just.”
“Me too and so what? Enough, pet. I was promised fish and chips. There’s a place over there and we can find a bench. I can’t remember the last time I ate food wrapped in newspaper while sitting outside.”
The smell of the battered cod and chips brought back memories of those few times Mum had treated us to a chippy tea with fish. A lot of it had been scraps, those little pieces of greasy batter rescued from the huge vats of oil used for frying. A couple of fat seagulls landed on the wooden boards in front of us, hoping to capture a stray chip. It could be dangerous eating out.
“Ha’way with you,” Cass said, waving her arms.
I stared at her. “Are you a Geordie?” I asked.
“I am, pet,” she said, grinning broadly. “I gave myself away. Bugger! I worked hard to get rid of my true voice, but it comes out sometimes. I was born in Newcastle but got moved around the system. My foster parents moved south for my father’s work when I was a teenager, and I was encouraged to lose the accent so kids didn’t make fun of me in school.”
“It must have been hard,” I said. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to—you know, how you ended up in foster care.” But I want to know.
She took a deep breath and stared out to sea. “I never knew my father. I’m not sure my mother did either. She was a drug addict. No doubt some bloke she thought was her boyfriend had got her hooked. She’d managed to keep mostly clean while she was pregnant with me, but it didn’t last. There were always more men ready to tempt her back.”
Had her early experiences put her off men?
“My mother got caught shoplifting when I was five. Social services took one look at where we lived and took me into care. At first, I was in a group home. After that, I had a few foster places, then this older couple t
ook me on when I was ten. They were nice enough and at least encouraged me in school, but I wasn’t their child. I did well and was about to start my A levels when they were killed in a car crash. Some drunk driver doing nearly a hundred miles an hour plowed into them. I decided there and then to take control over my life in every way I could. Social services found me a room in a shared house, then I found a job in an office.”
Bloody hell. “Did you ever see your mother again?” I asked.
“No, but I discovered later she’d been found dead from an overdose. They didn’t know if it was an accident or not.” Cass grasped the bench either side of her thighs. My heart ached for her. My childhood hadn’t been easy, but I’d had a mum who loved me and worked three jobs for me and Theresa. I still had her. Cass leaned her head on my shoulder despite being surrounded by others, a gesture somehow more intimate than anything we’d done. I stroked her hand. I struggled to find words that wouldn’t sound patronizing.
“I expect you’re curious to know how I got to the States,” she said.
“You don’t have to tell me,” I said, though Cass was right—I was curious.
“The simple answer is I followed my boss. Shelley Howden was going places, but she had a secret life as well. A couple of years after I moved to London, I became her PA. We’d met at a club which catered for a certain clientele, and let’s say I made sure I took care of all her needs. I couldn’t believe my luck when she took me with her to New York. There I was, living in this huge city, like someone from a film. As you know, I was still working for her when I met you. I fancied you straight away and was determined to get to know you better. Shelley and I had an amicable, but non-exclusive, arrangement. As long as I was available for her, I could be with whoever I wanted. That I was good at my job was a bonus as far as she was concerned.”
I hated the thought of her with someone else, but I’d guessed as much. “But you came back here.”
“Shelley found the love of her life, got married and had a baby last year. No place for me then, so I decided to come home. Let’s say she gave me a generous severance. I had enough to buy somewhere small in London and still have some savings.” She skewered a few chips and ate them. “You know, I can’t remember the last time I had chips like these.” She gazed out to sea then along the promenade. “It’s beautiful here. I might investigate the costs of commuting. Imagine being able to sit on the beach every day. I love London, but the air here has a special quality to it.”
I didn’t comment. We sat in silence for a while, eating, people-watching, letting the sun warm our skin. The beach had filled up with excited families. Some brave souls had even ventured into the sea. I was reminded of the day Mum had taken Theresa and I to Whitstable. I’d always loved the beach. We’d packed our bathers and buckets and spades, dug holes and made castles. Perhaps I’d investigate property here. A tiny dream blossomed of me and Cass being able to sit on a balcony together, sipping drinks at the end of a day. I’d had enough of being by myself. Could we be more?
“Have you finished?” she asked, standing.
“Yes.” I handed her my rubbish and watched her stroll to the bin.
“So, what else do you have planned for us,” she asked.
“Are you still good with heights?” Her grin told me she got the reference. I’d hoped some day we might get to repeat the experience.
“Color me intrigued,” she said, now smirking. “What do you have in mind?”
I turned and pointed to the i360. “I thought we might get a better view from there.”
“I’m game if you are, though it might be rather too public for repeats. I mean, I know you like living dangerously but…”
I closed the distance between us. “Only with you,” I whispered in her ear. “Only with you.”
The attraction was busy when we got there, and I was glad I’d bought our tickets online. We grabbed a quick drink in the café at the bottom while waiting for the pod to return to the ground.
“It looks high,” Cass said. “I think it might be higher than the twenty-second floor.” Her wink did things to my insides. I’d never been in love, but in the last week it was as if I’d turned on a tap or unblocked a sink. I smiled to myself. Not the best of analogies. I’d never set my imagination alight, allowed my daydreams to roam free or believed there might be a future with someone else in it. Now, when I gazed at Cass, a whole host of possibilities opened. Not like a can of worms, but like a favorite book I loved to dip into over and over again, one I’d never part with. A tap on my arm broke my train of thought.
“I don’t know what you were thinking, but you had a smile on your face. The pod is here.”
“So it is.” I took her hand and pulled her forward, not caring about anyone else. She didn’t pull away. Soon we rose and turned slowly through three hundred and sixty degrees. I clutched at Cass. “It’s making me dizzy.”
“Let’s sit.” Cass took my arm and guided me to the seating.
“Wow,” I said. The English Channel stretched one way. We could see ships passing through the busiest piece of water in the world. In the other direction lay Brighton and the south coast.
“I wonder exactly how far you can see,” Cass said. “Those are the South Downs, aren’t they?”
“The website said you can see to the Isle of Wight on clear days. Can’t see to France though. When I was young, we went on a week-long school trip to North Wales. Mum worked so hard to pay for me. I remember one of the boys asking if we could see France when we visited the Welsh zoo. I hope his geography improved.”
“I went on a few one-day school trips. There was one to Edinburgh. We went to the castle. Scared me shitless when the canon went off. I’ve always loved castles.”
“Then you’ll enjoy the wedding next week,” I said, grinning.” I forgot to mention the wedding is at Lever Castle.” I let the information sink in.
Cass stared at me. “The one with the moat and the towers at each corner?”
“Yep. And we’ll be staying there overnight in one of the castle bedrooms.”
“Oh my God. That must be costing a fortune.” She covered her mouth with her hand. “Sorry, how crass of me.” Her cheeks gained a rosy hue.
“You know, I think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen you blush. But don’t worry, they can afford it. Theresa’s sold over a million books.”
I watched Cass’ face as the penny dropped. “Wait a minute. There was a big article online about a celebrity wedding at a castle. Nooooo. Really? Are you kidding me? Is your sister Tess fforbes-Smith, the crime writer? I’m reading her latest now.”
I’d noticed. “That’s her, though we still call her Theresa because it annoys her.”
“Aren’t they making her first novel into a movie?” Her hand clutched my arm.
“They are,” I agreed.
“And isn’t she marrying Marty Attis, the England footballer, in what’s been described as the wedding of the year?”
I nodded. “She is, and we’re going.”
“I need a drink.” Cass held out her hand. “Look at me. I’m shaking.” I’d never seen her less than confident.
“They’re just people,” I said. “My mum did well with her girls. She’ll be weeping buckets on the day, and with me bringing you as well…”
“Your family won’t mind? You are out and everything, aren’t you? I don’t want us to be a distraction.”
“Stop worrying. I may have mentioned I might be bringing someone, and they’re dying to meet you.” I took a deep breath. “And I’ve never brought anyone home before.”
“Okay. That’s…umm…intimidating, but nice.”
The pod started to descend. For the rest of the afternoon, we strolled along the beach then returned to the hotel. We decided on dinner out and to try a local nightclub.
“We need some dance practice,” Cass insisted. Her usual composure was back. “And I’m looking forward to getting close and personal with you on the dance floor.”
I couldn’
t wait.
* * * *
Some hours later, at a club, we’d danced for over an hour and I needed to sit. I leaned into Cass. “It’s so loud and crowded,” I complained. She grinned and moved nearer.
“All the better to get close to you.” She wrapped her arms around me from behind, brushing her hands across my breasts. I automatically glanced in all directions, only to find no one appeared to care what two thirty-year-old women did on the dance floor. The place we’d chosen was recommended for its diverse clientele, and there were certainly more interesting people to look at than us. My feet ached. I was definitely out of practice.
“I’m all sweaty,” I said, wiping my brow. Cass kissed the nape of my neck.
“I know. You’re such a gorgeous mixture of citrus and you. Makes me long to taste you.” She licked the spot just below my hairline, as I’d chosen to wear my hair up this evening.
“Oh God, Cass. The things you do to me.” One kiss, one lick had me aching. She grabbed my hand and dragged me through the crowd to a small booth in a dark corner. “I’ll get us a drink,” she said.
While she was gone, I watched the crowd. The music was from a mixture of times, but it all had the same driving beat. My sister had chosen something less pounding for her wedding, but then they could afford to hire someone who currently rode high in the charts, seeing as he was a friend. Cass reappeared with two glasses and sat close to me. I gulped down the cool liquid rather too quickly and burped. Cass placed a hand on my thigh.
“Now, about those things I do to you?” she said, walking her fingers over the cotton culottes I’d chosen to wear teamed with a sleeveless cotton top. I might not have been the height of fashion… Oh. Cass had found her way under my top, lifted the waistband of my culottes and started stroking my skin. I knew where this was heading and put my hand over hers.
“We can’t,” I said, shifting in my seat.