by Radclyffe
Lids half closed, Allie smiled unsteadily. “I need to come and I’m really really trying not to.”
“You do whatever you need to do,” Deo groaned. “If you have to come, do it.”
“Oh I will.” Allie shivered. “Once I get you inside of me and start to move, I won’t be able to stop it.”
“I want you to feel so good.” Deo lifted her hips slowly, pushing inside just a little bit at a time. When Allie’s eyes closed and she sagged forward, catching herself with both hands on Deo’s shoulders, Deo stilled. “Okay? You okay?”
Mutely, Allie nodded, her hips gliding back and forth in Deo’s lap.
Deo cupped both of Allie’s breasts and squeezed. “You go ahead now. You ride me any way you want to. Ride me until you come.”
“Uh-huh.” Allie’s belly undulated as she forced Deo deeper. “Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I will. I will.” She pumped hard twice and her eyes opened wide. “Touch my clit. Can you touch my clit?”
“Good?” Deo said, watching Allie’s face twist with pleasure as she massaged her with her thumb.
“I’m coming already. Uh, I’m coming.”
“You’re beautiful. You’re so beautiful.” Deo thrust her hips in time to Allie’s cries, feeling the push and pull between her legs as Allie climaxed hard on her. Slowing when Allie finally slumped forward into her arms, she kissed her hair and her face. Allie trembled, making small broken sounds of pleasure. “It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. You’re so beautiful.”
“Don’t move,” Allie murmured, rocking her hips slowly with Deo still inside her. “I’ll come again in just a second.”
Deo caught her breath. Allie was so raw and sensual and vulnerable she wanted to cry. She stroked her back and her shoulders and kissed her gently until Allie released a soft cry and shuddered with another orgasm. Deo groaned. “Oh yeah.”
“I’ll say.” Allie lifted her hips and let Deo slip out, then curled on her side with her cheek on Deo’s chest. She caressed Deo’s breasts and stomach. “You’re very patient. That’s nice.”
“I could watch you like that all night.” Deo drew a deep breath and let it out, feeling strangely content. She hadn’t come, but the pent up urgency that had plagued her for hours had dwindled away effortlessly as Allie had climaxed. It happened that way fairly often for her. Satisfying a woman satisfied her in some deep way that she’d never really bothered to analyze. It just was. She was lucky that was so, because there were plenty of times when the woman she was with showed no particular interest in her pleasure. Their lack of reciprocation never really bothered her. But Allie had not been selfish. She had given her a gift. She’d given her trust and allowed Deo to witness her need. Deo was more than satisfied. She was honored. “You are mind-blowingly sexy.”
“Oh yeah?” Allie propped herself up on an elbow and kissed the tip of Deo’s chin. “Well, I wasn’t doing it all by myself. Believe me, the way you look at me, the way you touch me, sets me on fire.”
“Then let’s feed the flames because…” Deo kissed Allie’s neck, then her breasts, then her nipple, “I want to hear you come again.”
Allie laughed. “Maybe. I need a little bit more time to catch my breath.” She pushed herself down on the bed and started to unbuckle the leather strap around Deo’s hips. “And while I’m recovering, I know just how to occupy myself.”
Deo lifted up so Allie could free her and then spread her legs as Allie settled between them. She closed her eyes and stroked Allie’s hair, her mind clear and mercifully free of memory or regret. She whispered a silent thank you as Allie took her into her mouth.
*
“What are you doing to me,” Bri moaned.
Carre kissed her as she languorously stroked between Bri’s trembling thighs. “I’m making you feel as good as you just made me feel.”
“I’m going to explode, babe.” Bri twisted in Carre’s arms, her mouth against Carre’s neck as every fiber in her body tightened. “Feels so good. I’m gonna…oh yeah I’m gonna—”
“Mmm. You feel so good.” Carre relaxed her grip on Bri’s turgid clit and vibrated her fingers lightly. “Too good to let it end now.”
“I gotta, babe,” Bri pleaded desperately. “Really, I’m hurtin’. I gotta.”
Carre sucked on Bri’s lower lip and teased her tongue in and out of Bri’s mouth. “I love when you get like this. So hard. So freakin’ wet.” She grasped Bri’s hair and tilted her head back so she could nip down the center of her throat. “I love to make you come.”
Bri choked trying to catch her breath. “Please I’m right there, babe. If you just, oh God… oh God…”
“I know, baby,” Carre whispered, stroking again, too slowly and too lightly to make Bri come. “I know what you need.”
Bri tried to keep her eyes open but the terrible wanting in her belly was too much to hold. “I love you so much.”
“I love you.”
“No one else,” Bri gasped, her body shaking with a series of bone wracking shudders.
“I know baby,” Carre whispered, milking her in long firm strokes. “You come now, baby. You come.”
Bri’s eyes rolled back in her head and she clutched Carre as if she were drowning and Carre was all that stood between her and oblivion. “Fuck!”
Laughing, Carre wrapped her legs around Bri and held her sweat-streaked face to her breast. “God, you are so sexy.”
“Trying to kill me,” Bri muttered, still quaking. “Think maybe you did kill me.”
“You know I have to go back to school in six weeks.” Carre caressed Bri’s shoulders. “I don’t want you to forget who you belong to.”
Bri opened her eyes and struggled to focus. Her vision was still blurry but clear enough for her to make out the scared look on Carre’s face. Bri’s heart plummeted when she realized that she was the cause of that fear. “I’ve only ever loved you. The only thing I’m gonna do while you’re gone is count the minutes until you come back.” She pushed herself up on both arms and waited until Carre looked into her face. “I’m only ever going to love you.”
“Me too.” Carre wrapped her arms around Bri’s shoulders and pulled her down until Bri’s body covered hers. She pressed her face to Bri’s neck. “Only ever you.”
*
“I’m awake,” Tory said as the bedroom door opened and a sliver of light slanted in from the hall. “You can turn the light on.”
“That’s okay,” Reese replied. “I’ll just…should I come to bed?”
Tory closed her eyes for an instant, the swift pain of the unthinkable question making her breathless. She pushed the sheets aside, making room. “Of course.”
Reese undressed in the dark and a moment later, settled onto the bed. She lay on her back, her arms by her side. When she spoke, her voice was hollow and flat. “I’m sorry.”
“For what, darling?” Tory inched closer and lay on her side facing Reese. She lightly placed her hand in the center of Reese’s abdomen. Reese’s skin was cool, and her muscles felt stretched tight over bones that were far too prominent. “You need to tell me, because I can’t help you if you don’t.”
Reese gripped the sheets, her body rigid. “I shouldn’t have left like I did tonight.”
Tory waited until the silence stretched so thin she feared the air would shatter like glass. “Why did you?”
“I was ashamed. Ashamed of forcing myself on you.”
“Oh no,” Tory murmured, grasping Reese’s shoulders in both hands and pulling her into her arms. She cradled the back of Reese’s head and pressed Reese’s face to her breasts. She rocked her, bleeding inside with the need to ease her pain. “You could never ever do anything to me that I didn’t want.” She kissed Reese’s forehead. “I love you. I’ve wanted you since the first instant I saw you. I will want you until the moment I die, and if there’s anything beyond that, I’ll want you forever.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing sometimes, Tor. I feel like I’m lost and you’re all I have to hold on to.”
“It’s okay. You hold on to me, darling. You hold on just as tight and just as long as you need to.” If Tory could have pulled Reese inside her body and sheltered her with her very breath and the last drop of her blood, she would have. Instead, she was left with inadequate words and what she feared was an all too fragile strength to fight off whatever monsters shadowed Reese’s soul. She tightened her grip and steeled herself for whatever might come. Reese was her life, and she had nearly lost her half a world away in a godforsaken desert in the midst of a war that no one understood. Now Reese was home again, and she would not lose her to whatever demon had followed her back.
“If I’m ever going to be any good to you again, maybe I need to go back,” Reese whispered in the dark. “Maybe I need to go back and find whatever parts of myself I left over there.”
Tory’s world teetered on the verge of collapse. She wanted to scream no, but she stopped herself even though holding back made her feel as if she were dying. She didn’t say no, because what if Reese was right? She didn’t say no, because she didn’t want Reese to know the truth. I’m not strong enough to let you go. I’m not strong enough to be without you again.
“Promise me you won’t do anything without talking to me first,” Tory said shakily.
“I promise,” Reese whispered. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.”
Tory pressed her fingers to Reese’s lips. “Shh. Go to sleep, darling. It’s all right.”
Tory held Reese, wondering if either of them would sleep. As she listened to the lie echo in the stillness, Tory felt her heart breaking.
Chapter Five
When Tory awoke, the bed beside her was empty. Heart racing, she threw back the covers, grabbed her robe, and hurried into the hall. Reggie’s crib was empty, and the smell of coffee drifted up the stairs. Immediately, she felt calmer. Reese was downstairs with the baby. She was home, she hadn’t gone anywhere. Taking a deep breath, Tory went to greet her family.
“Hey,” Tory said casually as she bent to kiss Reggie, who was sitting in her high chair in front of the breakfast bar. Her hair smelled like baby shampoo and apples. The apples, she noted, were part of breakfast. Reese still had her desert tan, and her arms and legs in her faded green T-shirt and boxers looked sinewy and lean. Muscle and bone. A fighting machine, but she wasn’t a machine. She was a woman. “Good morning, darling. How did you two get up without me?”
“You were sleeping pretty soundly, so when Reggie started making hungry noises, I got up.” Reese’s eyes held an apology. “You must have been really tired.”
Tory wrapped her arms around Reese’s waist and kissed her. “I slept fine.” She could tell by the circles under Reese’s eyes that she hadn’t. She rubbed her hand over the center of Reese’s chest and kissed her again. “Nita is working today. I’m backup. Any chance you could switch your shifts around and stay home with us?”
“I don’t think so,” Reese said, stroking Tory’s hair. “You know, what with me only being back a few weeks, I think I should be there.”
“Okay. I’ll probably take the baby to the beach with Cath and the kids.” Tory sidled around Reese to the counter and poured coffee. “Dinner then?”
“I’ll try.”
Tory put the pot down and left her cup on the counter beside it. She slid a slice of toast off a plateful and handed it to Reggie, who promptly tore it in half. With the baby occupied, she focused on Reese. “We need you here, Reese. I know how busy things are during the season, but you can’t work twenty-four hours a day. Even if it makes you feel better somehow, it’s not the answer.”
Reese braced both hands against the counter and lowered her head. She was quiet a long moment before meeting Tory’s eyes. “I’m screwing everything up pretty good, aren’t I?”
“No, you’re not.” Tory traced the pink three inch scar that slanted across Reese’s forehead. It was healing well, and before long it would be only a faint reminder of the rifle butt some madman had swung into her face. That shattered collar bone, the burns on her arm, the shrapnel tear in her leg—they would all fade into the background. The real damage was on the inside, and she had no way of judging how deep it went or how permanent it might be. “I’m not going to make any excuses for you, because you’re not doing anything wrong. Just remember that we’re both dealing with something we’ve never had to face before. It might take us a while to figure it out.”
“I was trained to face it,” Reese said angrily. “That’s who I am.”
“And if you hadn’t been so well trained, God only knows what would’ve happened to you and the people who relied on you.” Tory struggled to keep her voice even because she didn’t want to upset Reggie, who thankfully was happily piling stewed apples onto her toast. “You kept them alive. You kept yourself alive. You did your duty.”
“Maybe I missed something. Maybe we ended up separated, cut off, because I wasn’t as sharp as I needed to be. Because I questioned why I was there.”
Reese spoke softly, almost to herself, her expression distant. Tory had seen the look before, but this was the first time she realized that Reese was replaying the events surrounding her capture. She had never once imagined that Reese blamed herself for what had happened, because it was so obvious to her that it was Reese’s skill and absolute dedication to her troops that had gotten them all through it. How could she not have realized that Reese would accept all the responsibility, even when she couldn’t have prevented what had transpired? Gently, she grasped Reese’s hand. “Darling, you couldn’t have foreseen that firefight. And from everything you’ve told me, you did exactly what needed to be done.”
“I should get ready for work while the baby finishes breakfast with you,” Reese said, evading Tory’s gaze. “Then I’ll get her dressed if you want to take a shower.” She kissed Tory’s cheek and started to turn away.
Tory clasped Reese’s forearms, holding her in place, forcing Reese to look at her. “I love you with all my heart. Don’t ever walk out on me again. It hurts us both too much.”
Reese pulled Tory into her arms, gripping her so tightly it nearly hurt. “I need you so much, it doesn’t seem fair.”
“I need you every bit as much, I always have.” Tory stroked Reese’s face. “We’ll get through this, darling, I promise.”
Reese kissed her again and Tory felt a tremor go through her. When Reese abruptly let her go, she knew Reese was struggling to contain her desire.
“Don’t. Don’t try not to want me.” Tory framed Reese’s face. “I need you to want me. My need. Not yours. Don’t take that from me.”
Reese covered Tory’s hand and kissed her palm. “I have to go to work.”
“I know. Be careful.”
“Thank you for believing in me.”
“Always.”
Tory watched her walk upstairs, knowing that it didn’t matter what she believed. It only mattered what Reese believed. All she could do was be there for her, which at moments like this didn’t seem like enough.
*
“Oh shit!” Allie jumped out of bed and nearly tripped in the tangle of shoes and clothes next to the bed. “Ow. God damn it.”
Deo bolted upright. “What’s the matter?” She rolled over, yanked open the dresser drawer, and pulled out a .38 Smith & Wesson. Then she leapt upright and threw herself between Allie and the bedroom door. “Did you hear something?”
“Ho! Take it easy!” Allie held her hands out, palms forward. “Deo, baby. Easy. I’m just late for work.”
“Late for work?” Deo looked at her like she was crazy. “Jesus. What do they do, flog you?” She shook her head, breathing hard, and put the gun away. Then she grabbed Allie and kissed her. “Good morning.”
“I’m not going to ask if you have a license—”
“I do, Officer Tremont.” Grinning, Deo kissed her again. “I carry a fair amount of cash for the payroll and other things. I got jumped once in the parking lot on the wharf.”
Allie didn’t mention that Deo had reacted as if sh
e’d expected someone to break in and accost them. She’d slept with her—well, they hadn’t actually done much sleeping. She’d spent the night letting Deo explore just about every part of her body and had revealed a good deal of herself to Deo in the process, but four outstanding orgasms still didn’t give her the right to get personal.
“I’ve got first shift,” Alley said, hastily picking through the clothes on the floor, “and Reese will kick my ass if I’m not on time.” She dropped her panties back into the pile. She couldn’t wear those again. “Shit. I don’t have time to pick up my car at the station, go home, shower, change, and get back to work on time.”
“Is there a plan B?” Deo grabbed her khakis off the floor and pulled them on, not bothering with a shirt.
“I’ve got a spare uniform in my locker, and I can shower here.” Allie grimaced. “’Course I’m still going to have to walk in there with the same clothes on as I was wearing last night. Nothing like announcing I’ve been out all night fucking.” She scanned Deo’s body. Her biceps swelled even when she was relaxed and her chest and abdominal muscles rippled beneath the smooth burnished skin. Despite the hard body, her breasts were just large enough to soften her image. That—in addition to the fact that she opened so beautifully when Allie was inside her—made Deo a spectacularly delicious butch treat. Allie got a flash of how Deo’s stomach tightened when she was about to come and her clit pulsed. “Jesus, you’re sexy. I feel like a cat with a big ball of catnip. I just want to roll around in you.”
“If we weren’t on the clock, I’d drag you back under the sheets. I woke up with an urge.”
“Sorry,” Allie said, patting Deo’s crotch. “I can’t.”
“I know. That’s why I’m going to make you coffee instead of getting into the shower with you. Go.”
“You could give me a break and put a shirt on too.”
Deo laughed and stretched. “Sure.”
On her way to the bathroom, Allie called back, “I don’t suppose you have any underwear that aren’t boxers, do you?”