by Divya Anand
‘Team, this is our most critical project so let’s double down,’ said Ash. He stared at Basit and Bhargavi to make it clear he had overheard their whispers. With that, he sashayed out, leaving the rest of us to figure out how we were going to make these magical dates come true.
‘Launching a project at this scale is like giving birth,’ Harsh began, as if he were intimately acquainted with labour and all that it entailed. Everyone in the room was waiting for him to finish his monologue so that we could begin to work. I stopped listening and began surreptitiously checking Abhimanyu’s horoscope to verify whether Ash’s dates were ‘good’ or if I needed to prepare for damage control.
I placed a Starbucks coffee cup and a paper bag with an almond croissant on Shirin’s desk. She ignored me. I turned it around so she could see ‘SARI SIREN’ was written on it in block letters.
‘You can keep your apologies to yourself,’ she said. Upasana walked by, and I silently handed her a cookie and a coffee cup that said ‘SARI WHOOPSNA’.
‘Listen, I’m really sorry . . . ’ I began, addressing them both.
‘You’re not,’ Upasana said coldly. ‘You just want our help. You think we don’t know what you said?’
‘What?’
‘We’re not falling for that innocent look!’ Shirin jumped in. ‘We know exactly what you think of us.’
I was at a loss for words for a few seconds. I opened and shut my mouth a few times, like a gaping goldfish, as I racked my brains for the right response.
‘We’ve been friends for years. I don’t know what you heard, but let’s talk. Maybe I can explain,’ I begged.
‘It’s not just about what we’ve heard. You’re selfish,’ Shirin burst out. ‘You couldn’t even swap a meeting! And that wasn’t a one-time thing.’
‘Yeah, it’s not just meeting slots, it’s also meeting rooms,’ Upasana added.
Shit, shit, shit.
I had been pretty anal about swapping meeting slots and rooms, but I had a reasonable explanation. Except, it wasn’t one I could share. I mean, how could I tell them that there were very few meeting rooms on our floor that were ‘lucky’ for Abhimanyu. Or that I had to fiercely protect the dates I scheduled meetings on because they were ‘good’ dates per Abhimanyu’s horoscope. I wondered if it was time to finally confess. I really didn’t want to lose my friendships over this.
‘I can explain . . . ’ I began.
‘Never mind. I’m not ready to talk to you,’ Upasana said and walked away, leaving the coffee cup and cookie untouched. I looked at Shirin, hoping I could salvage at least one friendship.
She picked up both the Starbucks cups and the paper bags, and pointedly tossed them all into the dustbin.
There was nothing I could do.
21
Saturn Opposes Mars to Increase Your Workload
There were only ten days left to launch the experiment.
Ten days to close out partnerships with a belligerent sales team who was insistent that this was a fool’s endeavour.
Ten days to come up with the final designs for our landing page, while the entire design team had decided to take time off to attend a colleague’s wedding, necessitating me to coordinate with people over the phone while they were half drunk.
Ten days to put our marketing plan into action without having to run to Abhimanyu for every question since the rest of his team was going out its way to avoid me.
Ten days to launch the most important experiment of my entire professional career when the entire team seemed to be rooting for me to fail.
Ten days that were giving me a lifetime’s worth of stress.
Things were moving forward, but every last person on the team would have to burn the midnight oil to get them completed in time. I convinced Binoy, one of our best designers, to work on the project from the resort the design team was holed up in in the backwaters of Kerala. He agreed, but that meant Aakash’s upcoming launch was stuck, and he was fuming.
I cajoled Basit into convincing partners to sign up even though he spent all his time whining about how I was asking for the moon. I even worked on the marketing plans myself, just so I didn’t have to get in either Dhruv or Upasana’s way. And yet, I was worried that we hadn’t done enough.
‘How dare you guys bring this half-baked presentation to me?’ Ash yelled as everyone in the room squirmed uncomfortably.
Clearly, the Triangle of Tranquillity had washed away and instead left us with the ever-explosive Fountain of Frustration. No one had the guts to point out that we hadn’t actually invited Ash to this meeting. That morning, Ash had waltzed up to my desk and insisted he reviewed the execution plan. I explained to him that many things were pending, and, at the time, he acted as if he understood that things wouldn’t look ready but were still under control. Now, it seemed as though his memory had been modified and we never had that conversation. He was pacing the room, yelling, looking every bit like a fire-breathing dragon with smoke coming out of its ears.
‘What is this?’ he yelled at Shirin, as he pointed at a printout of the estimations she had been working on night and day.
‘Ash, this is still a work in progress . . . ’ she began. She tapped her fingers nervously on the table, and then reached out to grab a puff pastry.
Ever since Ash had accelerated all our deadlines, we had been working around the clock. The team had food coming in all day, every day—idli-vada combos from Sri Krishna Cafe, doughnuts from Krispy Kreme, Meghna biryani, the list was endless. Stress eating had become the new team activity.
‘This is nowhere close to what we need,’ Ash exclaimed, staring at Shirin as though she was a tiny creature that had crawled out of a hole. ‘You’ve been here two years and you think this analysis qualifies to be shown in public?’
I chewed at my cuticles. At this point, I had no fingernails left and was dangerously close to injuring myself if I bit off too much.
‘Ash . . . ’ I began, and immediately shut up when he shot me a thunderous look.
‘This is a work in progress,’ Abhimanyu jumped in. He ran his fingers through his hair, which now stood on edge. Even when the man resembled a porcupine, he was still heartbreakingly cute. ‘We’ll follow-up with you when this is ready.’
But Ash was not ready to listen. He insisted on looking at every slide and yelled at every single person. He had put his extensive vocabulary to use, managing to find a new way to call a person incompetent each time.
‘Inept . . . ’
‘Unskilled . . . ’
‘Amateur hour . . . ’
‘Blundering nincompoop . . . ’
The insults were endless. Five minutes later, and halfway through the presentation, he stopped.
I held my breath wondering what could possibly come next.
‘This presentation is so incomplete, I cannot waste a second more. Get out! All of you!’
My eyes widened. Ash had had some pretty large meltdowns but he had never thrown so many people out of the room before. I sat frozen in my spot. Everyone else seemed equally shocked because nobody moved. They were all staring at him.
‘What are you waiting for? Go!’
We filed out of the room in silence.
I got to my seat, trying to fight back tears. This was one of the worst meetings I’d ever been in. I began wondering if it was time to find a new job as I took a few deep breaths. I walked over to the water cooler to fill my bottle. I took a sip and closed my eyes to clear my head.
PING!
Glam Office Messenger Chat
[3 p.m.] Abhimanyu: Don’t worry about Ash. I’ve spoken to him. He’ll talk to everyone and smooth things over.
[3.00 p.m.] Sitara: Thank you. You’re quite the miracle worker to have got him to cool down.
[3.02 p.m.] Abhimanyu: My sources tell me it’s been termed the Thursday Thunderstorm. Care to confirm?
[3.02 p.m.] Sitara: I have no sources. Everyone hates me.
[3.05 p.m.] Abhimanyu: I’m sure they don’t hate y
ou, they’re stressed.
Abhimanyu has left the chat.
I hadn’t considered going to trivia, but with all the stress at work, I decided it would clear my head. I didn’t have the guts to approach Upasana and Shirin at work but I hoped they would show up to blow off steam too. As I was on the way to Last Call, Kavya messaged to tell me that she was stuck in a work crisis and wouldn’t be able to make it. I felt a mild sense of foreboding, but I clung to the hope that the need to relax would outweigh any resentment the others had against me.
As soon as I walked into Last Call, I realized how wrong I was. Our team’s usual table was empty. Even Krish wasn’t there, despite his gigantic crush on George. Krish had attempted to come to trivia even while he was sick because he didn’t want to miss a chance to flirt. But now, it looked like Upasana had told him all about our argument and he was taking her side. Sometimes, hatred can far outweigh love or friendship. It would be really awkward to participate in trivia by myself. I wondered if I should abandon this and head home. I could get back to reading Every Last Word and lose myself in Richard’s problems, instead of my own.
‘Sitara, over here,’ I heard a voice yell out.
I was surprised to see Satish from The Sherlock Homies waving at me shyly. I walked over, wondering why he was bothering to talk to me. Over the years, we had been cordial if we ever ran into each other outside of trivia, but we weren’t friends and there wasn’t much for us to say to one another.
‘George said that you guys weren’t going to be here tonight,’ he said when I reached their table.
‘I must’ve missed the memo,’ I said lightly, pulling my cardigan. I was feeling cold. The Sherlock Homies had picked a table that was directly under the AC vents whereas we normally sat in a warmer corner.
‘If you’re by yourself, you may as well join us,’ said Namrata as she took a sip of her drink. ‘You could help us get a leg up on the literature questions!’
‘Um . . . ’ I began, feeling extremely awkward about the entire situation. I couldn’t even begin to imagine playing with a different team. And that too one that was our arch-enemy! This would completely mess up my mental tally of wins and losses.
‘Come on,’ she said. ‘I know we haven’t spent time together, but Abhimanyu will be here soon so it’s not like we’re all strangers!’
‘And you can get to know the rest of us too,’ Arnav twinkled.
I wondered if Abhimanyu had said something about me to them. I couldn’t understand why his friends suddenly wanted to rescue me from being that loser who sat by herself at trivia night. As I considered whether I should make up an excuse and leave, each of them kept insisting until they wore me down.
‘Well, OK,’ I said and sat down. Arnav immediately poured out a glass of beer and handed it over. I had barely been here a few minutes and already my supposed trivia nemeses were being nicer to me than my own so-called friends.
‘So, where is Abhi? I never really understood why you guys don’t all carpool from work,’ asked Namrata.She grinned knowingly when she said the word ‘carpool’. I wondered if she knew about the other times we had carpooled, and what exactly she had heard about them. My stomach fluttered unhelpfully at the thought of my car rides with Abhimanyu.
‘Well, it’s hard to coordinate,’ I said, as I grabbed a plate and served myself some peanut masala. ‘What with last-minute meetings and other such things. I didn’t spot him while I was leaving today, otherwise I would’ve asked him if he wanted to carpool.’
‘Ah, still the ever-elusive ISI agent,’ Arnav said as the rest of the group erupted with laughter. He saw my puzzled look and explained.
‘Abhi was known for disappearing slyly at b-school. Once we were having chai. I swear, one minute he was right there, the next we realized he had jumped into an auto and left. The next we heard from him, he had gone to his then-girlfriend’s college. Which by the way, was in a different city!’
My eyes boggled. Who would’ve thought that the staid Abhimanyu had such an adventurous streak?
‘The things he does for the women in his life,’ said Satish, looking at me in a meaningful way.
The way he said it made my stomach flip. I was starting to feel uncomfortable. I wondered if it would be terribly rude to check my phone until Abhimanyu arrived. I suddenly felt like I had been called over to this table with the express purpose of grilling me. If only Kavya were here, she would have been so excited to see a table full of people to give her company with her conspiracy theories.
‘So, I only know that you work with Abhi, but I don’t know what each of you does,’ said Namrata.
I shot her a grateful look. I began telling her about my job, and what it was like being a product manager. She turned out to be a regular customer, and was thrilled to give me various suggestions on how the app could work better for her.
‘Are you guys going to talk about lipstick all night?’ Satish groaned.
‘It’s important,’ Namrata shot back. ‘Besides, who knew I could tell Sitara all my complaints? I’ve been wasting my time giving Abhi my list when I should’ve been befriending her!’
I smiled.
‘So, how do you all know Abhimanyu?’ I asked politely. I didn’t want to seem like I was monopolizing the entire conversation by talking about Glam, especially since the rest of the table, with the exception of Namrata, was clearly bored with the topic. Besides, I really wanted to know more about Abhimanyu.
‘I have known Abhi since he was six and moved next door,’ Namrata immediately began. ‘So I’m the keeper of all his secrets.’ She winked at me. I wondered what kind of secrets she knew, and what it would take her to spill some of them.
‘Zaina went to school with us,’ she continued. ‘The three of us were inseparable through our childhood.’
‘And, he was kind enough to set me up with Namrata once we met at b-school,’ Arnav jumped in with a grin. He draped an arm around Namrata’s shoulders and smiled down at her. Wow, a couple that quizzed together. That was rare.
‘I joined the group because we all shared an apartment when we first began working in Delhi,’ said Satish. ‘Our group is very Friends-like in some ways.’
‘Except, we’re not that incestuous,’ Namrata jumped in as they all burst into laughter.
‘Well, I wouldn’t really know about that,’ I quipped.
They stared at me for a second and then began laughing.
‘This one will keep Abhi on his toes,’ Arnav said, as he downed the rest of his beer in one gulp. Namrata threw a coaster at him.
‘We’re just friends,’ I said, wondering just how many more times I would have to set the record straight on this.It was bad enough that my sister and my friends were on my case about Abhimanyu. I was now getting the sense that The Sherlock Homies also thought there was more to our friendship. Even as I insisted we were friends, I could see that each person at the table was looking unconvinced.
Suddenly, I wondered if this was a good idea. I felt cornered and didn’t want to justify myself to a bunch of strangers. I decided I would finish my beer and make up an excuse to leave.
‘Sorry,’ Arnav said, as Namrata shot him a look. ‘I’ve forgotten how to behave in polite company. I didn’t really mean anything, I was just going by . . . ’
But I never really found out how that sentence ended. The door opened and in walked Abhimanyu.
Except, he wasn’t alone.
He was with a woman who was a dead ringer for a supermodel. She had straight, shiny hair with blonde streaks and was wearing a bodycon dress. I wondered if she really was a supermodel, since she looked familiar. She was hanging off his arm and was staring at him all moon-eyed. Meanwhile, every guy in the bar was surreptitiously staring at her.
‘Abhi,’ yelled Satish. ‘And Pooja! What a surprise.’
Oh. Oh.
They came over as Satish continued, ‘We just invited Sitara to join us because her team isn’t here tonight.’
Abhimanyu stared at me, his ey
es widening in shock.
‘This is Pooja,’ he began, as she glared daggers at me. ‘She’s here to . . . ’
But I had no interest in hearing about what she was here to do.
‘It was great meeting you all, but I feel a migraine coming on,’ I said, as I collected my bag and phone. ‘I’ll be pretty useless at trivia tonight, so let me just get home. Bye!’
I sprinted through the pub at a speed that would’ve made Usain Bolt proud and grabbed the door. I pushed and pushed, but the door just wouldn’t open. I was about to throw my entire weight at the door to force it open, when someone interrupted.
‘Ma’am, it says pull,’ a helpful server said as he passed by. I nearly died of embarrassment. I had been here so many times and still had forgotten how the door worked. I pulled and ran out into the street.
I couldn’t hold back the wave of emotions washing over me. My mind was exploding with thoughts. All this while, I had been thinking we were becoming friends, and good friends at that. And yes, my stomach seemed to be in a perpetual state of butterflies when he was around and my heart was often hammering in my chest. So maybe, just maybe, my sister and Kavya were right.
But how did it matter if I liked him, I thought as I rubbed my fists against my eyes to stop the wave of tears threatening to engulf me.
It was clear he wasn’t completely over his cheating ex. And she was here, in Bangalore. So they were most definitely getting back together. Yet again, I had managed to fall for a guy who didn’t seem to reciprocate my feelings.
I kept running down the street, putting as much distance as I could between myself and the bar. I would hide out somewhere before getting an Uber. By the time I got to the end of the road, tears were streaming down my cheeks. My mind replayed the moment when they walked in over and over. He knew I’d be there, so it was his way of sending out a message.
Well, now I knew what I’d told Sahana was right. It didn’t matter what I felt. It didn’t matter if I was in denial.