by Naomi Lucas
Suddenly, her salvation appeared in the distance. A mass of asteroids floated just above them, coming closer every second. Reina shifted directions and flew straight for the dangerous giant rocks. She knew she was a good enough pilot to risk it.
Another hail for communication popped up on her screen. Fuck you.
The ragged, moving asteroids framed her screen as she entered their forever-shifting maze. She was grateful that the Earth Council and Space Fleet designed her ship small–small, fast, and high-end. Several enemy ships followed her into the rock fields but she was finally beginning to gain a significant amount of distance.
A flash of light flared up, casting light on the asteroids, just as an explosive rumbled through her ship. Shrapnel sailed by her window, hitting her, and disrupting her view. One down.
Atlas was visibly vibrating beside her. The heat he emitted warmed up the entire bridge.
“Are you okay?” she yelled, rounding a giant rock. A quiet grunt was her only answer; a grunt and the smell of burning flesh. Reina couldn’t risk turning to him. Her heart dropped into her stomach.
The end of the maze was just ahead, zipping out into open space once again. Only one more ship remained in pursuit. Atlas disconnected and they immediately lost speed.
“Answer their hail.”
“Absolutely not. Are you okay?”
“Hail them, Reina. Let them get close. I can disrupt their tech if they’re close, break them apart from the inside.” Atlas grated, “My antenna...”
“No. We’ll lose them, I’m not risking it.”
His sigh was heavy and exasperated. “Fine.”
A path was instantly charted, giving her a route to follow, but at the same time instilling a terror she had tried to keep at bay. It was no longer updating every second, and in fact, it phased out and vanished half a sector away. The end of Antix’s current relays, and the end of the network was now real and frightening, and they were approaching it fast.
Reina shot forward toward the end goal, gaining distance from their pursuers.
The incessant ring of hails annoyed her, but every minute that went by the pings became less frequent until they faded into a choppy buzz. Eventually they stopped altogether.
Abruptly, their last trailer turned away.
“We made it.”
But the relays were never established and they soon lost their last tendril of connection.
Chapter Nineteen:
Reina’s fingers tangled into her hair as she took in the events of the previous day.
They had been in the clear for several standard Earthian hours, and now that she felt safe enough–tired enough–she put her ship back into auto-pilot and fled to her quarters.
She knew she was running from him but her head needed the space to clear, even to heal after the euphoric high of chaos and chemicals, of change and intrigue, and because of the mild pain. Reina could just barely feel it course through her body.
He has his body back. That alone strangled her thoughts, suffocating them.
Her gaze shifted to her legs where flakes of dried blood dropped to the floor, crusted and stiff. Her hands were still cupping her head as she tried to massage the crazy out, shaking ever so slightly.
A knock sounded at her door. “Reina, let me in. Please, we need to talk.” It was Atlas. Of course it was him. She couldn’t bring herself to move.
Atlas.
Oh god. She whimpered. There goes my space.
He rushed in, forcing the locking mechanism out of place, approaching her with quickened steps and pulled her frozen form into his chest.
“It’s okay. Everything will be okay. We’re here. We’re fine, alive and well on our way to putting this all behind us.”
Reina barely acknowledged his words. Being pressed against him only reminded her of the utter mess she was. The hand that had just healed several weeks prior was now just skeletal metal, numb and frightening. She couldn’t see herself but her face was stiff from swollen flesh, bruised and raw, and her mouth was dry with the aftertaste of torture. It tasted like chemicals.
She sagged away from his arms, bumping into the wall, uncomfortable with his very human, very warm presence. He had a presence that overwhelmed. The only thing that kept her from barricading herself in the lavatory was how messed up he looked, how wrecked and pained: just like her.
They avoided each other’s eyes but maintained an electric connection. Neither one of them seemed to know what to say.
“You look terrible,” she uttered after an agonizing moment, sneaking a glance at his face, seeing a tweak of a smile.
“You do too.”
“We suit each other.” Reina rubbed the back of her hand across her chapped, dusty lips. He reached out to touch her cheek, an indescribable look marred his face. Her head hit the wall, evading the contact. “Where in all of the hells in space did you get a body? Your body?!” Her voice rose, “Why didn’t you tell me?” The more questions that crossed her mind, the angrier she got.
His thumb traced the outline of her ear, tickling her, proving his presence even more, but he didn’t move closer. “It’s been on the ship. Since the beginning.” Atlas moved a hairsbreadth closer.
She twitched. “Don’t, please. I should have known. How did I not know?” Reina could feel the pain that prickled every pore of her body cross over into her emotions. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She wanted to curl up into his warmth but couldn’t bring herself to do it.
Atlas clasped her hand, placing a tube of healing serum and cleaning cloths in her palm. “I’ll explain everything, Reina, I’ll answer every question. Just please...don’t shut me out. You’re in pain and I can’t stand to see it, I can’t stand that I may be the cause of some of it.”
Reina didn’t answer, taking the medical supplies, skirting around his body to find a seat to dress her wounds.
ATLAS STAYED WHERE he stood, only turning around to watch her take his penitent gift to the other side of the room. She didn’t say a word as she unfolded the cloth and rubbed her legs down. He was mesmerized by the movement; the saliva vanished from his mouth, and he found it suddenly very hard to swallow.
He conceded, “You didn’t know because my body was powered down, it was off and it was frozen in cryostasis from the beginning. Any signals it may have given off would have been background noise to the ship.” Atlas took a dry breath. “I also hid it from you. Only working on it when you were preoccupied or asleep.” Tiny flakes of blood disintegrated from her skin and into the cloth. Anything that fell to the floor was sucked into the ship and sanitized.
Her hand gripped the cloth vehemently, her dirtied legs pressed together. Reina was closed up to him, tense, and when she spoke, she spoke low and monotone. “Why? Why? Did you not trust me?” she whispered, barely audible, “I would have kept your trust.”
Atlas folded his arms and leaned back. “No.” Seeing her flinch from the truth hurt him.
“I wouldn’t have hurt you.”
“But you may have stopped me. I couldn’t let that happen.”
“How could I!? Why would I? I’m not cruel,” she hissed, throwing the cloth at him. “No one should be trapped like that–like you were. They should have fixed you long ago.” Reina stood up and faced him. “I wanted you to have your body back. No one should have their free will taken from them.”
Atlas laughed, “Shall we go free everyone from the penal colonies?”
“That’s not what–”
“I know.” He sighed. “I couldn’t tell you and I really wanted to tell you. I had legitimate reasons, Reina, logical ones. I can’t just turn off my ‘nature.’” She tried to speak but he wouldn’t let her. Atlas rubbed the back of his neck. “If I thawed and turned back on, I could have immediately died. I could have gone insane and lost myself again. When Yesne joined the crew, I took the opportunity I was given. The only reason my body was even on board was so Space Fleet had assurance I wouldn’t transfer my consciousness away if the mission took a turn for
the worse. I had no chance of revival if I ran away.”
“He knew?”
“He rebuilt my heart.” His eyes followed her every movement, watching her arms wrap around her middle. Distress was not a look he liked on her. “It wasn’t because I trusted him more,” he admitted. “I was done waiting. I forced his hand and threatened his life. I was willing to risk everything to be whole again.” Atlas took a step toward her. “I had you. I needed to protect you.”
Reina’s chest moved with every deep breath she took. She looked everywhere but at him. “That can’t be all.”
Atlas willed her to meet his gaze but the harder he tried, the more she locked away her feelings. She’s hurting.
“I didn’t want to disappoint you.”
She glanced at him. He could have roared with triumph. “Disappoint me?”
“If I told you I could be real, that I could be with you, physically, now, and banish your loneliness in every way. And if you wanted that, looked forward to it. If you became hopeful or excited, I would have never forgiven myself if Yesne or I had failed.”
“You were afraid to hurt me?”
“Of course.”
“Cyborgs aren't supposed to be afraid!” She stepped toward him in anger and grabbed the body armor surrounding his chest, clenching it.
“I guess that makes me defective.”
Reina pulled at the material roughly. Atlas caught her hands.
“Let me see it,” she demanded.
He stared at her as he pulled the material over his head, hearing the faint sound of ripping, and bared his ruined chest for her, bringing his biggest failure to the stark light of the room. Reina didn’t make a sound as she judged the damage and his shame for herself.
There was a disturbing red incision, not unlike the ‘Y’ of a corpse that had undergone an autopsy, directly before her gaze. It wasn’t healed, not be a long shot, the skin had barely begun to knit itself back together. Atlas didn’t feel anything but a slight twinge of pain. What he did feel was harder to hide, and the moment Reina moved to touch the white skin that framed his cut, Atlas couldn’t keep it from her any longer.
His cock stiffened, painfully, with a mind of its own, desperately wanting to be freed like his chest was. It bulged like an obstacle between them, trying to break the barrier of his pants and fill her up.
His cock grew even harder, and Atlas would have taken anything Reina would give him, anything to release the pressure raging inside him.
It pushed into her stomach. He couldn’t stop his body’s reaction. She yelped and jerked back. Even the terrible cage of his pants, shielding his erection from her, was pleasurable beyond comprehension.
“Atlas?” Reina rasped, bringing him back into himself.
“There is one more reason I didn’t tell you, sweetheart, and I need you to know.” He tried to ignore his cock. It was hard when she kept looking at it, at his chest, to settle on his face, only to look back down at his bulge.
“What is it?” she asked warily. Her eyes kept perusing him. She should never look at anyone but me.
“Loyalty.”
“What do you mean?”
Atlas closed the distance between them. Reina leaned away, almost like he might burn her, but she didn’t need to. He didn’t touch her.
“Your loyalty to the Earthian Space Fleet and the Council.”
“Is there a reason why that would matter!?”
“What do you expect? You’ve worked tirelessly for the Fleet for nearly a decade. We’ve known each other for a month. Of course it matters. I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t rationally assume your loyalty lay with me, or that it eventually would. How could I guarantee that you wouldn’t tell them after everything I have been through? After your years of perfect service?”
“So that’s it.” Reina twisted away. Atlas caught her arm and held her in place.
“That’s not all.”
“Let go of me.” She jerked. “I really can’t do this anymore. You need to get out.”
His grip tightened. “I’m not done.”
“Yes. You are. Because I’m done being lied to. I’m done with men, with aliens, with fucking Cyborgs. You can all go to hell.” Reina struggled and pulled but he held firm. “Let go of me, Atlas.”
“So you’re upset with my lies. You sure as hell didn’t seem all that upset when I told you about how many Wasson and Estond killed trying to find someone capable of your position. That, Reina, proves your loyalty.”
“I didn’t expect the truth from them,” she stormed. Her back hit the wall, toppling over the chair as he caged her in. “I expected it from you after everything.”
“Poor baby. Life is hard. Too bad it’s fucking better than nothing. You don’t even know how terrible our employers are because you don’t seem to fucking get it, blindly following orders. They’re tyrannical slavers, unrepentant liars, and all in the name of ‘the greater good.’ They don’t care about you–you’re just a grunt to them. What we want doesn’t matter. Only results matter–only progress. And progress doesn’t differentiate between the worthy and worthless. It’s unbiased as long as we all survive one more day.” He cupped her cheeks, leaning down to press his forehead to hers, threading his fingers through her hair, tugging the strands painfully. So much desire coursed through his system. “You should know that.”
“Let. Go. Of. Me,” she panted under him. Atlas could smell her wet heat through the layers of grime and sweat that still covered them.
“You had all the power to lock me out before. Now we’re even. Get used to it.” He leaned in, brushing his nose over the edge of her ear, feeling her hands come up to press against his but she didn’t push him away. “I’ve worked for your species since I was little more than a cell cluster and a program.” Atlas breathed over her ear, blissfully taking in the shivers that coursed through her. “I wasn’t created to be outside of my biological shell. All Cyborgs need a root. But my creators, my doctors, and so-called surrogate teachers didn’t help me when I became lost. They thought me dead.” He placed light, tickling kisses along her racing pulse, wanting to feel more of her subtle writhing.
“You’re not playing fair.” Reina grew pliant, almost malleable, and lust raced through him like a bullet. This time, it felt like heaven.
It was worth the risk. It was worth the lies.
“We’ve never played fair, sweetheart.” Her hands moved over him softly, skating his cut, until they clasped his shoulders.
Killing aliens, winning battles, or bathing in the blood of his enemies could never feel as good as the psychotic sexual arousal he felt at that moment.
Atlas lost himself to the salty sweat of her skin, wanting to drown in the taste of her, needing more of it. She turned her face away when he tried to capture her mouth.
He took a deep breath and leaned back until she turned back toward him, shaking her head.
“I want you to continue,” Reina’s voice a harsh, brushed off whisper.
Atlas tensed at the command. “They had my body, and when I came to, years later, they had my being too. An atypical creation–next gen knowledge. They promised to rebuild me, for years they promised, if only I did what they demanded. God, the excuses they gave. Endless reasons why they couldn’t fulfill their end of our bargain right up until they stopped giving them. The people you work for and the people I’m enslaved to kept me the way I am longer than your lifespan and there was nothing I could do when they owned the one thing that could free me. The one thing I wanted most in the universe.” He watched her eyes fill with pity and he hated it.
He let the words settle themselves, waiting for a response from her. She reached out and touched his chest only to pull her hand back as if it had been shocked.
“How could I risk telling you what Yesne and I were doing when you’re so willing to die for those same people?”
Reina looked away and when she pushed away this time, he let her free. “I understand.” She put several steps of distance between them. “I�
�m so sorry for what happened to you. I can’t even imagine it, I can’t comprehend it, but I can’t stop this sinking feeling of betrayal, and after all this crazy.” Her arms wrapped around herself as she continued, “We nearly died, several times in the last day alone. I don’t think I can forgive so easily anymore. All of this is so confusing, so wrong. What I feel for you feels wrong. How long? How long were you without your body?”
“Since Cosmic Storm,” Atlas reminded her.
She shook her head, not understanding.
“An offensive mission to retake one of our bases on Gliese. Nearly seventy-five years ago.”
“Oh my god.” Reina froze, her eyes widened in shock. Atlas took a step back as she rushed him, unexpectedly throwing her arms around him. “I’m so sorry. So, so sorry.”
Atlas clasped her to him. “It’s not your fault, sweetheart. I don’t want your pity.”
She shook her head again, pressed into his raw chest. “You should have told me. I would have never betrayed you.” Reina whimpered, “What can we do?” He smelled the dew of her tears right before they fell in droplets over his wounds. “How can we get past all of this?”
“We can disappear. We’re off their radar, Reina, we don’t have to finish this. We don’t have to go back.”
I’d do anything for you.
Reina leaned back, wiping the tears from her cheeks, gifting him with a sad smile, then a soft laugh. “Absolutely not. We’ve finally made it this far. I want to know what’s out here.”
Atlas smirked. “I’ll admit, I’m a little curious too.”
“Who knows, maybe getting some answers will be worth everything. If we survive this, I’m going to need to know what exactly Pirate Captain Larik stole from the Trentians.”
“That is even more dangerous territory than dead space. I’m sure there are thousands of others who want answers from him as well. You would be contending with others, who have a far greater need, a vengeance against him,” Atlas warned as he walked toward the door, preparing to leave and give her the space she needed. He hated every step.