by Kody Boye
I waited for him to say more. I knew it was coming—he just didn’t seem to want to voice it.
Stepping forward, I braced myself directly before him and said, “What are you saying? If your father doesn’t want me here and he’s the leader—”
“Then there’s no way I can openly defy him.”
“Unless—”
The flicker in Guy’s eyes cut me off.
Though nothing had struck me, I felt as though I’d just had the wind knocked from my lungs.
“She wants me to take you as my partner,” Guy said. “To turn you into one of the Kaldr.”
My existence was narrowed down in but a moment. Ripped, forcibly, from my place in the world, strung along on a journey that would redefine who I was both as a person and a human, placed in a situation where, trapped within four walls, I could do nothing but stay or leave—this was what my life had become, yet in but a second I had been offered a question: humanity or immortality, peace or destruction, human notion or carnal lust.
Having gone slack, my fingers dangled freely at my sides. I was vaguely aware of their existence until my fists tightened and all the knuckles in both hands popped.
“Guy—”
“I’m not asking you to do anything,” Guy said, placing his hands on my shoulder. “I would never force you to make a decision about something like that. Ever. I had no options. My choice was ripped from me.”
“Then how—”
“There’s only one other thing I could do to ensure that you remain in this house,” he said, withdrawing his hands and settling them at his sides. “And while the status of partner would benefit you far more, this alternative would at least allow you to keep your humanity.”
“What is it?”
“You could become my mate.” Guy waited for a response. When I had none to offer, he crossed his arms over his chest and continued. “Your purpose in my life would be as my warm flesh. You would provide me with pleasure, with companionship, but most importantly, with life. Traditionally, this would be seen as slavery—where the warm flesh had no option but to obey what his Svell Kaldr told him—but I hold you in far too great regard to ever treat you that way.”
“I don’t get it. If I’m just… your partner… then why is your father making such a big deal out of this?”
“Because you haven’t been marked—claimed, as we call it, by another. Hierarchy is important here. In the past, Svell Kaldr kept humans only for sustenance, as it was believed that it was the only way to be ‘truly’ Kaldr. But since that’s since been disproven… having warm flesh at one’s side is a sign of power, and a declaration of ownership.” Guy’s face paled and he stepped forward, hesitant to take hold of my arms, but doing so regardless. “It’s so fucked up. I know. I’m sorry.”
“I can see why you left,” I said, even managing a laugh.
Guy smiled despite the situation. “Yeah,” he said, setting a hand on my face. “If you decide you don’t want to do this, I’ll leave. I’d rather die than make you endure an endless hell.”
“And your father couldn’t do anything?”
“My father’s on the brink of self-destruction. The Kelda seeks reason to usurp his throne. There's a Kaldr killing innocent humans in Austin. It seems as if the dark age is upon us. So if he even so much as threatened to expel either of us if this happened… she’d banish him from the estate.”
“What is the Wendigo?” I asked, remembering the phrase she’d mentioned earlier.
His hands remained on my arms. Trembling, cold against my skin I knew from nerves rather than who he was, he kept his gaze set firmly on me—never faltering, never swaying.
“The Wendigo,” Guy said, “is the nightmare of the Kaldr people… and the one thing that could destroy us all.”
“Why is your father so afraid of it?” I asked.
“Because a Wendigo can only be made after a human has been bitten by a Howler… and then mated with a Kaldr.”
I closed my eyes.
Is he bitten? Is he bitten? Is he bitten? Eliot’s frantic voice echoed in my ear.
“Our worlds don’t bridge,” Guy said. “Attachments aren’t made, especially not among humans. It’s to keep the lines pure, our people safe. My father fears that if I don’t send you away… and that if you get bit by a Howler… I won’t be able to keep myself from saving you.”
“And turning me into a Wendigo,” I finished.
Guy nodded. “We don’t know what happens,” he said. “Whether it’s love or hate or something else that fuels its anger. All we’ve known is that it was a blight—that whenever it came, everything around it was killed. That’s why my father’s afraid, Jason. He wants you either away from me or mated to me. There’s no other options.”
To stay and remain safe forever, or to leave and risk a death unimaginable?
In the end, would it really be such a bad thing if, in the eyes of the others, I willingly submitted myself to him? I did love him, after all, and he’d done so much for me. There wasn’t much to argue.
I bowed my head into his neck and wrapped my arms around his waist.
“Jason?” Guy asked, his voice rough and filled with unease.
“It’ll keep me here,” I said. “And you safe. Right?”
“Right.”
“Then I’ve made my decision. Tell your father I submit to you,” I said. “Make me your mate.”
PART 4:
There was radio silence over the next few days. I mostly stayed in the flat. I rarely heard from Guy, I barely saw him except when I woke to find him sleeping next to me, and the few choice conversations we had were brief—over him brushing his teeth or hopping into pants as he darted out the door. Considering we’d spent the majority of our time together since leaving Austin, it was disconcerting to be without him, but I kept myself busy by preparing for the change that was about to come.
Would it be painful? Was there a ceremony involved? He’d said there was no transformation—that I would remain human regardless of whatever was entailed—yet he’d never specified just what would happen come time this supposed ‘bond’ would occur.
I was to be made his mate.
Would we, before the other Kaldr, be forced to fuck?
I didn’t want to think about it. While not particularly embarrassing, given the Kaldr’s sexual nature, I wasn’t necessarily an exhibitionist. My greatest feat had been on top of a roof during one of Austin’s cooler months and then in a one-stall restroom in a park. I hadn’t even been in a three-way, so even the thought of fucking around in front of other people was a bit unnerving.
“If that’ll even happen,” I murmured, chewing on my nails. I caught myself before I could gnaw them down to stumps and shoved my hands into my pockets, my attention turning to the window.
It didn’t matter. If I had to endure a slight amount of discomfort to ensure my place here, that was fine. Besides—once I got going, I’m sure Guy could keep me focused. He hadn’t failed before, and I sure as hell doubt he would fail then.
The door opened.
I turned.
Guy stepped into the flat, careful to close the door behind him with the flat of his palm before stepping in. “Hey,” he said.
“Hey,” I replied. “Everything ok?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“I just haven’t seen you that much over the last few days. That’s all.”
Guy frowned, but his eyes didn’t stray as he fumbled with the lock. Once set in place, he crossed the room and stood before me with a sense of doubt I’d never felt from him before—like an atmosphere, bloated with precipitation, getting ready to spool from its surfaces the storm-giving chemicals of rain.
I cocked my head to one side.
He smirked, despite my curious action.
“You’re not telling me something,” I said, rolling my shoulders to loosen the tension in my upper back. “Come on. What’s going on?”
“It’s happening on the night of the supermoon.”
�
��Supermoon?” I frowned. “Guy, what do you—”
I didn’t finish my question. An abrupt silence created by my own revelation.
The Moon, larger than any other day on Earth—
Watch your calendars—it’s coming up soon!
Five times larger than its usual size—
Guy’s expression indicated that he’d taken note of my epiphany. While his demeanor lightened somewhat, his jaw still held the firm, unnerved set it usually took during uneasy conversations. This one was no exception.
“That’s in—”
“Three days,” he said. “I know.”
“Are you ready?”
“I should be asking you that.”
The supernatural chill that possessed my body reared its head in full force. The subtle sensation of spiders crawling along my arms and marching across my collarbone was almost enough to make me react. I wasn’t much for bugs, but I definitely wasn’t afraid of them. Spiders, though—there was something about them. The way they moved, how fast they were, those giant, piercing fangs—
I shook my head.
Guy sighed. “I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s the only night it can happen. Otherwise we’ll have to wait another year.”
“I wasn’t shaking my head over that,” I said. “It’s just…” I grunted. “Nevermind. I was just thinking.”
He settled himself atop an armrest and perched his elbows atop his knees, resting his chin on his knuckles and watching me with eyes that, at that moment, appeared more human than ever. The stark omen of a passing cloud upon a grand Texas sky had shifted the lighting on this side of the house just enough to where it cast darkness on particular features, Guy’s eyes included. I couldn’t see the light blue rings. Instead, all I saw was blue—dark, like the ocean, but blue nonetheless.
“I know you’re worried,” he said when I didn’t speak further. “I am too.”
“Why are you worried?” I laughed. “You’re not the one getting indoctrinated.”
His frown said it all.
“Tell me what’s going to happen,” I said. “You’ve left me in the dark for the past three days. You can’t just spring it on me the night before and expect me to be ready.”
“No, I can’t. You’re absolutely right.” He sat upright and tilted his head up. Now that the cloud had passed, his person was revealed in full—the Kaldr spirit ancient and strong around the pupils of his eyes. “We’re to engage in a mating ritual on the night of the supermoon.”
“I figured that much,” I laughed.
“In front of my father’s clan.”
I laughed. Guess irony had gotten the best of me.
“What?” Guy asked.
“I just expected it,” I said, then shrugged when he raised an eyebrow. “Not sure why. I just did.”
“The point of the ritual is to establish a link between the two. Normally, the act of a Kaldr taking a mate would be seen as aggressive and therefor imply dominance, like I’ve said before. However—” Guy paused. He looked down at his hand, where the fading remnants of his contact with the Kelda could be seen. “I want this to be seen as a sign of respect.”
I waited.
Lifting his head, he looked me straight in the eyes, then said, matter-of-factly, “I want you to fuck me.”
“What?” I asked.
His eyes didn’t stray. The pureblooded confidence that could make kings and set ablaze the mightiest of ships burned in the gaze of one whose ancestry lay in beings unlike anything the modern world had ever seen. They didn’t glow, they didn’t blink, nor did they falter in any way. Rather, they merely stared—watching me with the intensity of a great predator whose mournful mercy was to let escape the prey it had spent so long tracking.
I wasn’t sure what to say. I cleared my throat with a cough and reclaimed the breath I had lost due to shock.
“Well?” Guy asked.
“Well… what?” I asked.
“Will you fuck me or not?”
“This isn’t about whether or not I’ll fuck you, Guy.”
“I never did take you just for a bottom anyway.”
“Guy!”
He chuckled and winked. “I’m joking, Jason.”
“I know. And hell—who wouldn’t want to fuck you? You’re fucking gorgeous. But this isn’t about gender roles—it’s about screwing around in front of dozens of people.”
“If it helps, most of them won’t care. They’re just required to watch, not give opinion.”
I lowered my face into my hands and groaned. “This isn’t helping!”
Guy stood and wrapped his arms around me, his hard body welcoming as I leaned against him. “I’m not forcing you to do anything.”
“I know.”
“So you don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”
“I’m just not much of an exhibitionist,” I said, then started laughing as the absurdity of it came to mind. “God. Why the fuck do you have to have sex in front of other people to claim a ‘mate?’ That’s not what animals do.”
“But animals are driven by evolutionary nature. They have to breed to survive. Humans, though… or anything like humans… sex is optional. It’s merely a pleasure of the flesh.”
“So you’re saying the sex is a decision,” I said. “A declared mark.”
“Exactly.”
I looped my arms around his neck and leaned away just enough to where I could look at his face. “But you want me to fuck you because you want to show we have equal ground.”
“That I see you as my equal and not someone whose service I am just obliged to use.” Guy nodded. “That’s right.”
“I guess it makes sense now that you’ve explained it.”
“Not really,” Guy smiled. “It’s an old tradition set in old ways. I love my father with all my heart, but God… if I were to do one thing after he died, I would recreate the entire social structure of this house so ceremonies like this wouldn’t have to exist.”
“It’s amazing you don’t hold a bigger grudge after everything he’s done to you.”
“He means well, in his own way. The only problem is that his way isn’t the way I want it to be.”
I nodded.
Leaning forward, he bowed our heads together—brow to brow, nose to nose—and said, “Everything’ll be fine. I promise.”
Three days.
That was all I had before I was officially, and permanently, a part of the Kaldr.
Venturing beyond Guy’s flat was completely unnerving. With word having spread of the impending exalting ceremony in which Elliot Winters’ son would become prince and take a mate, I was under near-constant scrutiny everywhere I went. Walks outside were met with looks, glares, sometimes spiteful deceit. Those who worked inside the home would do anything to avoid me and flat-out ignored any questions posed. The only one who appeared to give me even the slightest consideration was Amadeo—who, upon our rare encounters, would give pause to speak to me.
The night before the ceremony—during which time Guy had departed to alternate corridors to abstain from physical contact—I wandered into the downstairs kitchen and found Amadeo drinking what appeared to be a glass of wine, his eyes lost in the thunderstorm taking place outside.
I cleared my throat, wincing at a bark of thunder, and tapped my fist on the doorjamb. “Sir?” I said.
He turned his head to look at me. “Jason,” he said.
“Can I come in?”
He gestured at me with a wave of the hand. “Would you like something to drink?”
“You don’t know the half of it,” I said.
He pulled the stopped bottle from the opposite counter and lifted, awaiting my approval before pouring me a glass. “How have you been?” he asked as he slid the glass toward me.
“Better,” I said. Amadeo watched me lift the glass to my lips and drink—probably more than I should have at once, considering my low tolerance, but I didn’t care. I slicked the back of my hand over my lips and forced a smile. “Sorry.”
/> “No need,” he said. His chest rose and fell, as if struck with the loss of air. The glass of wine returned to his lips shortly after. “You appear troubled.”
“Not very often you’re put in a situation like this.”
“But you agreed.”
“Yes,” I said. “I have.”
There wasn’t anything to say in regards to my decision. Freedom of choice expressed many latitudes—to do good things, to do bad things, to do things that walked along the neutral boundary erected only in the minds of those individuals who wished to seek fit the notion of right or wrong. For most people, my decision would’ve been seen as a complete denial of self. I saw it as a liberation.
“Amadeo,” I said.
“Yes?” he asked.
“Did you feel this way when you were made into a Kaldr?”
The man’s lips pursed, lifting the fan-shaped spread of facial hair along his chin. Contempt wasn’t an emotion I often saw on the Spanish man’s face. Rather, his confidence came in his subtlety. The way his lips were held, the way his jaw was set, the way his eyes were always direct and unfaltering—now, though, he appeared just as I imagined I did: lost, confused, and completely alone in the world.
Since I didn’t expect him to respond, I lifted my wine to my lips and let my eyes stray to the window, in an attempt to see just what it was he’d been looking at before I’d entered the room.
I saw it clearly—almost plain as day: the moon, not yet full, but nearing its total completion.
“Of course I was scared,” Amadeo finally said.
My eyes returned to the man’s face. Upon it rested relief, spelled clearly in his softened eyes and his lightened expression.
“I wasn’t nearly as fortunate as Guy’s father when it comes to past history,” he said, refilling his glass of wine and leaning forward to face me head-on. “Whereas Elliot fled to eventually find the Americas due to invasion, I arrived due to conquest.”
He took a grand sip from his glass, as if to placate himself of any guilt that might’ve come from opening the closet and bringing out the old skeletons. “I won’t go into details,” he said. “All I’ll say is that, during the height of the Aztec empire, I arrived with a number of other Spaniards and set into motion the events that history now knows as the Spanish conquest.”