‘The nurse says we have to go,’ Gwen said. She stepped closer to the bed, drinking in the sight of her niece. Alive. Awake.
‘Okay,’ Ruby said. She stood up suddenly and hugged Gwen. ‘Thank you.’
Gwen didn’t trust herself to answer, so she just squeezed Ruby back.
Back at End House, after the professionals had taken Lily’s body away and Harry had come with another officer and taken photographs of the ceiling and the floor and the cracks in the walls, Gwen walked through the house. In each room she studied the ceiling for cracks and paused, listening, in case Iris had anything to tell her. She didn’t care if she was acting like a lunatic. She didn’t even care if Cam heard her muttering to herself. After completing the upstairs, the living room with its diseased walls and her beloved kitchen, she paused by the door to the dining room. She surveyed the mess of plaster dust and the hole in the ceiling that was like a gaping wound. Perhaps it was her imagination, but the whole place felt lighter. The room was a damn sight uglier, but the bad feeling, the slowness in the air that she’d only been vaguely aware of, had gone. She whispered goodbye to Iris and closed the door.
Cam was making tea in the kitchen. He handed her a mug and Gwen wrapped both hands around it, breathing in the steam. The adrenaline was ebbing out of her body, leaving her weak and slightly sick. Cam was watching her warily, and Gwen closed her eyes. Here it comes, she thought, this is when he makes a graceful exit.
‘I don’t know what to say,’ Cam began. ‘I was so sure—’
Gwen shook her head,;she didn’t blame him. Magic had been hard for her to accept, and she’d grown up with it. ‘It doesn’t matter.’ She was numb, but she knew that wouldn’t last. Later, the pain would hit her. She had the childish sense that if she didn’t open her eyes and look at Cam then he couldn’t leave, couldn’t say goodbye.
‘I can’t believe I got things so wrong,’ Cam said. ‘You told me but I wouldn’t listen.’
Gwen opened her eyes.
‘I’ll make it up to you,’ he said, looking wretched. ‘Tell me what I can do.’
‘You already have.’ Gwen put her mug down, reached out for him. ‘You helped me. You believed me. Or, if you didn’t believe exactly—’
‘I trust you.’ Cam said. ‘I don’t understand what happened, but I know it’s real. You were amazing.’ He pulled her close and Gwen wrapped her arms around him, holding tightly, hardly believing the words she was hearing. ‘This supernatural stuff is real. And you’re like a superhero.’
Gwen pulled back slightly to smile at him. ‘Is that a bid to make me wear a Wonder Woman costume? I always knew you were kinky.’
‘I’m being serious. I was wrong. I’ve been holding you away, trying not to get too close. I’m a fucking idiot.’
The intensity of his voice made Gwen’s throat close up. ‘Well, it was a lot to take in. That’s why I never told you about it before, when we were younger. I was frightened it would be too much, that you’d think I was crazy.
‘And I did.’ Cam gave her a rueful smile. ‘Sorry. But that wasn’t just it. I think I was using that as a bit of an excuse.’ He took a deep breath. ‘I didn’t trust that you were going to stay this time.’
‘Oh.’ Gwen blinked.
They looked at each other in silence for a moment. Then Cam smiled, breaking the tension. ‘So, what else is going to rock my world view? You don’t have to hide anything from me any more. Are werewolves real? Unicorns?’
Gwen shuddered, thinking about Lily’s house. ‘Don’t mention unicorns. They’re evil.’
Cam hugged her again, speaking into her hair. ‘Made-up evil, or really real evil?’
‘You’re taking this belief thing very seriously, aren’t you?’
‘Like I said…’ Cam kissed her ‘…I’ve got a lot of making up to do.’
Chapter 28
Giving people what they need is not popular, but at least it’s honest. And I’ve been fair. I’ve done the best with what I was given, too. There’s nothing worse than a squandered talent.
Gwen spent the rest of the week running her stall at the Bath market and making new shadow boxes. Every spare moment was spent reading through Iris’s journals. It felt important, like she was bearing witness to Iris’s life. A life that seemed to grow increasingly small and frightened as the journal dates got closer to the present:
She keeps bringing me gifts. Like I don’t know what she’s up to. Never lets a truth out untwisted that one. I’m Iris Harper. She can’t fool me. I’m Iris Harper and I mustn’t forget it.
At eight o’clock every night, Cam would arrive, bearing dinner. On the Friday, it was Thai curry with hot and sour soup to start. Gwen washed the glue off her hands, while Cam plated up the food.
Afterwards, Gwen sat back, groaning. ‘So. Full.’
Cam smiled at her with such fondness that Gwen thought she was going to start crying. Again. It was like a bloody dam had burst.
‘I’ve been thinking,’ Cam said, playing with the stem of his wine glass. ‘Would you like to come to my mother’s Christmas Eve party?’
The shock made Gwen blink. ‘At your mother’s house?’
He nodded. ‘It tends to be pretty stuffy. It’s mainly clients and whoever my mother is trying to set me up with.’
‘Are you sure she’ll let me across the threshold?’ The words were out before Gwen could stop them. ‘Sorry.’
‘I know she’s difficult,’ Cam began. ‘She’s had a lot to cope with, though.’
‘I know. I am sorry. She’s just lost your granddad.’
‘She really misses Dad, too. I think this has brought it all back. She’s been talking about him quite a bit.’ Cam looked up. ‘So, what do you think? You on for the social event of the season?’
‘I’m not sure,’ Gwen said. ‘It doesn’t sound like my cup of tea.’
Cam’s face fell and Gwen rushed to explain herself. ‘I’m really happy to be invited. Thank you. I just think that maybe that’s all I wanted.’ She hesitated. ‘For you to invite me. Does that make any sense?’
‘Sort of.’ Cam frowned. ‘I still think you should come, though. My mum is expecting you, now. I kind of told her you were my date.’
‘Oh, well then.’ Gwen forced a smile. Her mother’s voice sounded clear in her mind. Unhelpful as always. Careful what you wish for.
Gwen stretched. ‘We can’t go on eating takeaway every night. I’ll be the size of a house in a month,’ she said.
Cam held up the Styrofoam cups, an injured expression on his face. ‘Soup’s good for you. It’s nourishing.’
Gwen laughed. ‘I’m not sure the deep-fried dumplings are quite as healthy.’
‘I’d love you if you were size of three houses,’ Cam said. ‘But if you’re that concerned, I’m happy to help you work off some energy.’
‘You’re a true gent,’ Gwen said, mind fizzing at his casual use of the ‘l’ word.
‘Or we could work up an appetite.’ Cam walked Gwen back towards the counter and boosted her up onto it. She wrapped her legs around his waist and gave in to the kiss.
Cam pulled at the tie at the waist of her wrap dress and it unravelled. He slid his hand inside the material, his fingers sending electricity across her skin. Gwen leaned forwards, kissing him harder.
‘I like this dress,’ Cam said against her mouth. ‘Easy access.’
‘Are you calling me easy?’ Gwen said. Then she gasped as he ran his thumb across her nipple.
‘I’ll call you anything you like,’ Cam said. He bent to kiss her neck and cupped the back of her head with his hand. ‘Have I mentioned that I like the haircut?’
‘I don’t remember,’ Gwen said, her mind clouded with wanting. She pulled his shirt out of his trousers and ran her hands up inside it. Cam sucked in his breath. Gwen felt a rush of power that was intoxicating. She was a mess, true, but uptight Cameron Laing looked punch-drunk, his eyes dark and focused on her.
‘Well,’ Cam said. ‘I. Really. Like. It.
’ He punctuated each word with a kiss. Gwen kissed him back with everything she had. The past melted away and there was nothing but the moment. Her and Cam moving together, their breath mingling, and his voice in her ear whispering that he loved her. All of her.
By the following weekend, Katie had made a full recovery. She was out of hospital and, according to Ruby, showing no ill effects at all. ‘She hasn’t shut up,’ Ruby said, and Gwen could hear the smile in her voice.
She went round to the house to visit; to hug Katie and, possibly, to throttle her for being so monumentally stupid.
Katie was on the sofa, covered in a duvet, a side table pulled up close and covered in magazines.
‘Hot drink?’ Ruby asked.
‘I’m boiling,’ Katie said. ‘If I drink any more hot chocolate, I’m going to be sick.’
‘It’s a hard life,’ Gwen said, smiling.
‘Tea?’ Ruby asked.
‘Yes please.’
‘It’s not much of a thank you,’ Ruby said. ‘I looked, but Hallmark don’t make a “thank-you-for-saving-my-baby” card, so tea will have to do.’
Gwen looked at the floor, stunned. Ruby had run out of the room, her face red, and mumbling something about getting a tissue.
Gwen looked at Katie, who looked as horrified as she felt.
‘She’ll calm down soon. Be back to normal before you know it,’ Gwen said. ‘Then we’ll both be in trouble.’
‘Thank God. I’m in danger of being fussed to death,’ Katie said, clearly hoping for a laugh.
Gwen shook her head in mock-seriousness.
‘Too soon?’ Katie said. Her mobile phone buzzed and Katie launched herself off the sofa to grab it, the duvet slipping onto the floor.
Gwen rearranged it over her as Katie scrolled through her text message. She looked up and gave an unhappy smile. ‘I’ve never been so popular.’
‘They’ll all be talking about something else next week. People are very self-obsessed, you know.’
Katie hesitated, looking properly sick for the first time since Gwen had arrived. Her heart lurched. ‘What’s—’
‘I did a spell.’ Katie spoke quietly, but Gwen still glanced reflexively towards the kitchen. She hoped Ruby wasn’t listening. ‘I know. What kind?’
‘It was meant to make him fall in love with me, but it didn’t work.’ Katie’s pale face coloured. ‘I’m sorry. I know you warned me.’
‘Come here.’ Gwen pulled Katie in for a hug. ‘You think I never made a mistake?’
Katie looked up at her, eyes shining with cautious gratitude. ‘You’re not angry?’
‘No,’ Gwen said. ‘I have no room for angry. Nothing left. I’m a husk.’
Katie’s face fell again. ‘I’m so sorry, I never meant—’
‘What in God’s name were you doing up that hill, anyway?’
Katie looked down. ‘I was upset and I had to get away from that house. It was all I could think about.’
‘How much had you had to drink?’
Katie glanced to the kitchen. ‘Just a couple. I swear I wasn’t drunk, but I couldn’t stop crying—’
‘Over a boy?’
Katie glanced up. ‘He was kissing my best friend.’
‘Ouch,’ Gwen said. ‘Still. Going for a stroll in the middle of the night in winter. Not your smartest move.’
‘It wasn’t snowing when I started and I thought I was going to walk just a little way and they’d come looking for me to apologise and stuff, but they didn’t so I kept walking and then I got lost. And I felt really weird. There was like a rushing sound in my ears, and I couldn’t stop walking. I know that sounds stupid, but I really couldn’t stop. It was like something was making me keep going.’ Katie’s eyes filled with tears. ‘I was really scared.’
‘Oh, baby.’ Gwen put her arms around Katie. ‘It’s okay.’
‘Then the rushing sound got really loud and I don’t remember anything else. Not until I woke up in hospital. I’m so sorry.’
‘Shush. It’s all over. It worked out. You’re fine.’ Gwen hugged her harder.
‘Why didn’t it work?’ Katie mumbled into Gwen’s shoulder.
Gwen pulled away so that she could look into her niece’s eyes.
‘I’m not going to try it again,’ Katie said hurriedly, ‘but I really thought it had. I kind of felt something shift. I’ve thought about it and I didn’t imagine it. I know it sounds mad—’
‘Not as much as you might think,’ Gwen said. She checked that Ruby was still in the kitchen. You couldn’t pretend this stuff didn’t exist. Not if it came a-calling for you. ‘Bollocks,’ Gwen said.
‘Auntie Gwen!’ Katie laughed, a hand over her mouth.
‘Look. If you felt that spell work, then it probably did. Chances are, you phrased things a little sloppily.’
‘I was really specific.’ Katie was shaking her head. ‘I know you have to be careful about that.’
‘Okay; what did you say?’
‘That I wanted Luke Taylor to fall in love with me,’ Katie said promptly.
‘Are you sure?’ Gwen arched an eyebrow.
Katie nodded.
‘But what did you think underneath your thoughts?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Deep down, did you really think he could love you? Did you truly believe that a spell could make Luke Taylor actually fall deeply, madly, head over heels in love with you?’
Katie winced. ‘Maybe not. Not like, completely and totally. But if I thought there was a real chance of it, then I wouldn’t even need a spell, would I?’
Gwen grinned at her. ‘Now you’re getting it. So, what did you really think? What was that very last, heartfelt thought? The one that bubbled up, beyond your control, as you blew out the candle or finished the potion?’
‘How did you…?’ Katie began. Then she paused for a moment and said, ‘I wanted him to notice me.’
‘There you go,’ Gwen said. ‘And you got your wish.’
Katie whistled. ‘Magic’s a bit of a bitch.’
‘Damn skippy,’ Gwen said.
On the last day of the market, Gwen treated herself to a beautiful leather journal from one of the other traders. It was a cheerful red colour and had a flap that was held shut with an ornate brass latch. Gwen opened it flat and, taking a good writing pen, wrote the date on the first page. After a moment’s hesitation, she wrote. ‘For Katie’.
Later, she was half-heartedly cleaning the hall floor when her mobile rang. It was Bob from the Red Lion. ‘That little crap-weasel came through,’ he said without preamble. ‘Have you seen it?’
‘No. What?’ Gwen was struggling to focus on Bob’s voice. She stared at the yellow police tape that flapped in the entrance to her dining room, still trying to believe that Lily was truly gone. Amanda’s husband was due that afternoon to quote for rebuilding the ceiling and redecorating the room.
‘The local rag,’ Bob said. ‘Ryan put your announcement in. For the book burning.’
Gwen closed her eyes. She’d forgotten about that.
‘They’ve got the time as five-thirty, so it’ll be proper dark. We’ll need plenty of torches and I’m going to do some snacks.’
‘Don’t call it a book burning; that sounds terrible—’
‘Whatever you like,’ Bob said patiently. ‘It’s on.’
‘Thank you,’ she managed. ‘I’ll come and help set up.’
‘No need. You sound like you need a rest,’ Bob said cheerfully. ‘Just make sure you turn up. Don’t leave me hanging, Gwennie.’
Gwen looked at the bags of Iris’s books arranged in her hallway. Lily had done a pretty good job of collecting them together, but there were still more. Gwen lay on the carpet in the bedroom and hooked a couple out from under the brass bed. She fetched three from the under-the-sink cupboard in her workroom and flicked through to check that they were just recipes. She added those to her own pile, ready to read, test and transfer to her own book. She felt a burst of happiness at the thought.
The phone rang and she picked it up, expecting Cam.
‘Are you all right?’ Gwen had never heard her mother’s voice sound so shaky.
‘Katie’s fine,’ Gwen said with a rush of guilt. ‘Sorry. I should’ve called.’
‘Thank God.’ Gloria let out a whoosh of breath. ‘I read your cards. I’m sorry, I know you hate it when I do that, but I did and I wasn’t sure—’
‘It’s fine. You helped,’ she said, hating that it was still so hard to say that to Gloria.
‘Katie’s really okay?’
‘She’s fine. I mean, she’s fourteen, so there are issues, but she’s got Ruby and she’s got me, so she’s going to be okay.’
‘That’s good,’ Gloria said. ‘And I will send her something at Christmas.’
‘Or you could visit,’ Gwen said. She closed her mouth immediately afterwards, amazed and slightly horrified by the words.
There was a silence.
Gwen rushed to fill it. ‘I know it’s really expensive and you probably can’t manage it, but I just wanted you to know that you’re welcome. I’ve cleared your old bedroom and I’m going to paint it sky-blue. I’ve pulled up that horrible carpet. The floorboards are a bit of state, but once I’ve painted them white and got a rug, it’ll be quite nice.’
‘I don’t know if we’ll be able to leave the farm,’ Gloria said, actually sounding a little wistful.
‘I understand,’ Gwen said.
‘But I might be able to come on my own.’
Gwen sat down in shock. Ruby was going to kill her.
After saying goodbye, Gwen took several deep breaths. Her mother had taught her that you never look back, but Gwen had shown her that it was, at the very least, an option.
Cam arrived with a duffel bag filled with Maglites and packets of glow sticks. ‘For the kids,’ he said. ‘I saw them in the shop and thought they might be a good idea.’
The Language of Spells Page 32