“Ignore them,” he hissed bitterly, helping her inside. Daphne planned to do just that.
Chapter 19
Daphne was not surprised that Edward didn’t rejoin them for several minutes, nor was she surprised that the coach wouldn’t leave without him, (despite Anthony’s almost violent urges to the contrary.) A week ago the driver might have followed her commands, but now his master was Edward. Now her master was Edward. He was going to find out that she wasn’t quite the docile little wife that he had been expecting.
Daphne tensed, glaring in the direction of the opposite seat when her husband climbed into the carriage and they finally rolled away from the front of St Paul’s.
“Well then?” Edward said, casting his eyes about the inside of the coach. “Is anyone going to explain to me what just happened?”
Daphne remained resolutely silent.
“That was you making your first and last mistake, Coventry,” Anthony spat.
Daphne refused to even turn and look at her husband as her brother made this proclamation. She heard Edward move though, imagined the fleeting look of confusion that might have crossed his face as Anthony’s words sank in.
“What are you talking about?” he asked quietly.
“I told you that I’d take her home if you gave me the smallest hint of a reason to do so,” Anthony growled in disgust. “I think you just gave me a bloody huge one!” he swore, forgetting, or not caring, that he was in the presence of a lady, then again, perhaps he didn’t count his sister as such.
“What?” Edward roared, and Daphne had to fight not to flinch as his bellow filled the carriage. “You’re not taking my wife anywhere!”
“She’s asked me to take her back to Coventry,” Anthony smirked. “Isn’t that right, Daphne?”
She had been hoping to escape the ordeal of speaking throughout the whole carriage ride back to the house, but as her brother had called on her to talk, she offered waspishly: “I think it would be for the best, yes.”
“Daphne, you’re mad,” Edward gaped. He reached for her hand, but Daphne drew away from his touch-that was where her weakness lay, and she would not let him exploit it!
“I think that it might actually be the sanest decision I’ve made since your return from the continent, my lord,” she said coldly, every word clipped and hard.
He didn’t believe her. Daphne could see it in his eyes. He didn’t really believe that she would leave him. If anything could have convinced Daphne so certainly that she was doing the right thing then it was her husband’s insulting arrogance.
“Daphne,” he said slowly and quietly, as though he was talking to a child, and a particularly dim child at that, Daphne felt her hackles rise. “When we get home you can tell me what happened? I know my mother’s not perfect, and I’m sure she was partly to blame as well-”
“As well?” Daphne echoed harshly. “As well as me you mean? Because of course I had to be the one at fault!” she hissed bitterly. “Of course you would take your mother’s side over mine!” she added, her voice becoming louder and more erratic.
“Daff,” Edward growled, completely ignoring Anthony who was clenching and unclenching his fists threateningly. “I walked into the middle of a disagreement between the pair of you, what was I supposed to do?” he demanded angrily.
Take my side! Daphne wanted to scream at him, but she managed to save her dignity by remaining silent, until she could trust herself to murmur: “Hear the full story before casting judgment.”
“So tell me the full story!” Edward fumed, but there might have been just a hint of desperation in his voice as the carriage pulled up outside their house.
“It’s too late,” said Daphne, shaking her head sadly, as she accepted her brother’s help to get out of the coach. She swept past the men and into the house, Edward following hot on her heels, but a growled remark from Anthony made him turn on his brother-in-law.
“You put her up to this, didn’t you?” he snarled, but Anthony simply gave his head a pitying shake.
“You were meant to defend her,” he sighed. “Why couldn’t you just do that, Edward?” he frowned harshly.
Edward hesitated. “Next time-” he began, but Anthony cut him short.
“You don’t get it, do you?” he glared. “There isn’t going to be a next time, because there has already been six years of ‘times’ for Daphne - instances like the one that you just witnessed that she’s had to suffer though. Today was your one time, Edward, and you blew it,” Anthony spat, turning on his heel and disappearing into the drawing room.
Edward watched the door click shut, and then he snapped to, racing up the stairs after his wife. He found Daphne in her bedroom with a maid, packing. The servant Edward instantly dismissed.
“I won’t lose you,” he blurted, once they were alone.
Daphne sighed heavily and gazed out of the window, looking away from her husband. “You can’t lose something you never had, Edward,” she whispered sadly.
Edward baulked. “What does that mean?” he demanded, his voice raw and strained. She was his. She belonged to him, with him.
Daphne lifted a hand to her brow wearily. “What is it that you think you’re losing, Edward?” she sighed, sounding suddenly exhausted. “Because I don’t understand how it can be anything that you ever actually wanted.”
“My wife!” he growled, a vein pounding in his temple. “You’re my wife.” But Daphne was sadly shaking her head.
“I don’t think you even know what it means to have a wife,” she said softly, and then added quickly, because Edward looked almost ready to explode, “and perhaps I don’t understand what it is to have a husband either, but-”
“We could learn together?” Edward blurted. He simply couldn’t let her go! He thought he might very well get down on his knees and beg if it would make her stay, make her understand that what they had could be enough, had to be enough given that he wasn’t going to go seeking a divorce!
“Perhaps we could,” Daphne conceded hesitantly, and Edward felt his heart leap, and then abruptly fall again when she continued: “but not here, not like this. Perhaps, if you wanted, you could visit me at home though?” she said shyly.
Court her? Edward mused. Court her properly for the first time? Perhaps he could do that…? Although, damn it, what was the point! He had his wife. They were married, perhaps not in the most ideal circumstances, but they were man and wife – and, to his delight, Edward had discovered that they were more than compatible in the bedroom. So, what would courting Daphne actually achieve?
“You still owe me a son, Daphne,” he suddenly said churlishly.
Daphne started, and then her hand wandered to her stomach. “I may already be carrying him,” she breathed shakily, which made Edward start too. It was still quite unlikely, but by no means impossible…
“All the more reason not to go,” Edward said, grasping at that idea. He winced when Daphne shook her head. “People will talk!” he continued, growing increasingly desperate now, as it finally began to sink in that she was serious about going back to Coventry with Anthony.
“People always do,” Daphne laughed bitterly. “Do you think I’m not used to it by now?”
Edward reached for her, but she shrank away from him. Why, why was it hurting so much? “Tell me what I can do to make you change your mind?” he panted, dragging a hand carelessly through his hair. “Teach me what you need? I can learn,” he implored his wife, however Daphne remained tearful, but unchangeable.
“You have to let me go, Edward,” she whispered, her voice uneven and trembling.
“But I don’t understand,” he ground out through clenched teeth.
Daphne nodded her head, as if it all made perfect sense to her, and as if she didn’t think that she was talking in nonsense riddles. “And that’s why I have to go,” she sighed. “You will understand, Edward,” she said softly, and then bit her lip nervously. “At least, I hope you will.”
Chapter 20
“You’
re doing the right thing, Daff,” Anthony said, as he watched his sister look back at the house that had been her home ever since her brother-in-law’s death.
“I know,” Daphne nodded, and she did know. She had just hoped, that maybe, it wouldn’t really need to come to this, that Edward would say something or do something to magically put everything right again.
Miserably, Daphne had finally conceded that wasn’t going to happen. Edward had given up. He’d left her alone to pack and then held himself away in his study all afternoon while Anthony organized their trip back to Coventry. He hadn’t even said goodbye, and Daphne’s pride was too great to allow her to go and seek him out. It didn’t bode well for what was to come though.
Daphne took a little lace handkerchief out of the sleeve of her dress and dabbed at her eyes. She hoped desperately that she wasn’t making a huge mistake. She knew she was taking a huge gamble. She just hoped and prayed that it would pay off! Edward would calm down, he had to, and then he would come after her, wouldn’t he?
Life back in the country was hardly going to be fun for Daphne. She absolutely dreaded to think what her mother would say when she saw her daughter with Anthony. At least Daphne had her brother on her side now. Surely he wouldn’t let their mother berate her too badly? She chewed her lip and hoped not at any rate. Daphne hadn’t been home since before her father’s death, and she was growing increasingly nervous about the move.
“Are you ready?” Anthony asked, offering a hand to help Daphne into the waiting carriage.
“Maybe I should go back and say goodbye?” Daphne hesitated dangerously. “Or at least, write a note, or something?”
“You can write him a letter from Dunnely House if you really want to,” Anthony grunted, not allowing his sister to turn and go back inside the house.
“I didn’t say goodbye to Wilkins either,” Daphne said in a small voice.
“The butler? I’m sure he’ll understand,” Anthony growled, urging his sister towards the carriage.
“Yes,” Daphne nodded, but she continued to waver. “You’re probably right.” Besides, she might be back in London soon, if Edward came after her. Provided of course that he actually wanted her back. Daphne thought that he did. That was the assumption that her whole gamble rested on – that Edward wanted her back enough to change how he treated her and how he behaved within their marriage.
She had experienced things with Edward: his kiss, his touch, his body. Daphne wasn’t sure that she could give them up for the rest of her life. If he didn’t chase her back to Coventry then Daphne wasn’t sure what she’d do.
She couldn’t remember actually climbing into the carriage, but she obviously must have done so, because that’s where she was now, sitting on a padded seat opposite her brother. Daphne looked out of the window, back at the house, convinced that she saw a curtain twitching. She had to clamp her mouth shut to stop herself from begging Anthony to halt the carriage as they started to move and were slowly driven away.
Daphne did not find comfort in the once familiar countryside of her home county as she and Anthony journeyed closer to Dunnely House. Everything was just a little bit different. Just enough had changed from her girlhood memories to make Daphne feel uncomfortable and a little ill at ease.
“It’ll be good to have you home again,” Anthony said, trying to lighten the mood. He had been trying valiantly to do so ever since they had left London. He wasn’t having much luck, but he had particularly bad luck at that moment; the carriage was just rolling past the drive that wound all the way up to the front of Packwood House.
Daphne flinched and turned her face away from the sight of what should have been her home. What might still be her home someday? She had to stop doing this! Daphne told herself sternly. She had to stop hoping, because it wouldn’t do her any good whatsoever. She had lived her life in ‘hope’ for months after Edward had left her after their marriage. It had just left her empty and broken inside.
She had to get on with her life. Not that Daphne knew how she was meant to do that exactly. It was all backwards! She had gone from being a married woman, a countess no less, to living under the same roof as her mother, in the house where she had lived as a child! But what other choice had Edward given her? Oh she could have stayed. She could have lived a half life with Edward, sharing her body and nothing more, but she was tired of settling. She wanted everything, or else she would just have to make do with nothing.
“Strange. It looks smaller than I remembered,” Daphne mused quietly, as Dunnely finally came into view. Anthony gave an affronted huff and didn’t deign to make any reply to her remark. “I suppose that mother will be at home?” she asked in a small voice.
Of all the topics that Anthony had tried to discuss over the long hours of their journey their mother had never once been one of them.
“I should think so,” he nodded slowly. “She could have gone visiting, but-she tends to keep to herself nowadays.”
Nowadays… he meant since their father died, Daphne assumed, or maybe he even meant since her marriage and disgrace had left the family name in ruins? Well, not ruins, but definitely tainted.
“She won’t want me back here, Anthony,” Daphne blurted, unable to hold the words inside any longer.
“I want you back here,” her brother growled forcefully. “Mother will see that it’s for the best. You’re still her daughter after all.”
Daphne couldn’t seem to find her tongue. She could barely even nod. Yes, she was still her mother’s daughter, but that hadn’t made any difference when her father had died… and it hurt, it hurt so much, and that was why Edward had to understand! She had sacrificed everything for him. Unknowingly perhaps, but it was done just the same, and that was the real reason why she couldn’t settle for second best where her marriage was concerned.
.
.
Chapter 21
She’d gone. She’d really gone. Edward let the curtain drop from his numb fingers and stumbled back to the chair by his desk. How dare she just just get up and go! She was his wife! Didn’t that mean anything to her? He stared, unfocusedly, at the bottle of whiskey that sat on the middle of the desktop, glared at it accusingly, and then rang for another.
She wasn’t allowed to just leave whenever they fell out. Edward lost his train of thought slightly as he nearly fell out of his chair.
She was the one who had wanted to marry him after all! Edward thought accusingly. He might also have been muttering words to the same effect when Wilkins came in with a fresh decanter.
“Women,” he slurred, before barking at the servant to leave him alone, not bothering with a glass as he took a long swig of whisky.
He wanted to numb his thoughts. He wanted to numb the pain. Edward hiccupped. Was this-was this how Daphne had felt after he had gone? Was that what Daphne leaving was all about, revenge? He frowned furiously at the opposite wall. Had she been looking for any excuse to punish him? Well, it wasn’t going to work! Society would judge her far more harshly than him after all, and besides, he had lived the past six years without his wife, what was to stop him living the next six without her too?
“Oh damn!” he cursed aloud, banging the whisky decanter down on the top of the desk. “Baby,” he groaned, burying his head in his hands.
Well, as Daphne had said, she might already be expecting. That would solve everything nicely, Edward thought wryly, he could simply swap his wife for his son and everyone would be happy. Perfect. Of course, if she wasn’t pregnant then he was definitely going to need her again – that idea still held a perverse appeal.
Daphne had betrayed him, she’d left him, but he still wanted her. How long would it be before that desire faded, Edward wondered dimly, and what if it didn’t fade? He groaned heavily. There was something about Daphne that he hadn’t ever found in a woman before, something special that he couldn’t quite name.
Edward gulped down another mouthful of whisky quickly. He really didn’t want to be thinking these things! He definitely di
dn’t want to weaken and find himself riding down the road to Coventry. He should have found a way to stop her. No! He had tried to stop her! Hard enough though?
“I don’t know what she wants from me!” Edward railed at himself.
He was beginning to fear that, instead of numbing his thoughts, the whisky was only unlocking his true desires, because he was beginning to realize that he wanted to know what it was that Daphne wanted from him, but he still didn’t have a clue how to work that out for himself— so he drowned his thoughts in another glass of whisky.
“This is a good look for you.”
Edward winced as the sound of a loud male voice met his ears, and then he flinched when the glare of daylight met his eyes. He squinted up through a drunken haze and tried to focus on a blurry Berwick.
“How’d you get in ‘ere?” Edward slurred, trying to glare accusingly at the Duke, but he wouldn’t seem to stand still.
“Your butler showed me through,” Berwick said affably, taking a seat, and not outwardly appearing to find anything amiss with coming to call on a friend who seemed to be dressed in last week’s clothes, who was slumped over his study desk, and who was surrounded by a forest of empty whisky bottles.
“Bastard,” Edward growled.
“He didn’t want to let me in,” Berwick admitted mildly. “But then I promised to knock some sense into you, literally if necessary, and after that he seemed quite happy to show me through to your study.”
“Bastard,” Edward grumbled again. He muttered something almost incomprehensible, although it seemed to have something to do with firing the butler… out of a canon? And then he laid his head down on the desktop and shut his eyes.
Berwick leant forward in his chair, reached around the labyrinth of bottles and gave Edward a sharp prod. “I know you haven’t been back in England long, but I should tell you, sleeping when you have guests, not really the done thing.”
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