Kara was speechless. Did he mean that she, also, forgot to give God the glory? Or was he saying he considered her one of his blessings? Before she could ask, he answered the unspoken question.
“When I'm with you, I feel…I don't know…kind of liberated. Like it's okay for me to be sad when we're together, because you'll understand and not try to talk me out of it. And it's okay to laugh, too, because you aren't judging me for being too happy when I should still be mourning.” He paused, looking into her eyes and searching for the empathy he knew he'd find there. “Does that make sense to you?”
“Perfect sense,” Kara whispered. She rested her forehead against their joined hands and closed her eyes. “I feel exactly the same way.”
Chapter Ten
It took Kara only a few moments to realize how unacceptably intimate she and Tyler were behaving.
It took a little longer, however, for her to convince herself to break the comforting contact.
She finally stepped back. He let her slide her hands out of his grasp without argument. She knew she should offer some kind of excuse for her behavior. The trouble was she couldn't seem to come up with any reasonable rationalization.
Nevertheless, she made an attempt to explain. “I…we…I mean…”
Tyler's expression was cynical. He nodded.
“Yeah. Me, too.”
They parted awkwardly. Kara immediately busied herself filling all the outside water dishes with a hose, then went inside to take care of the animals recuperating in smaller cages. She didn't want to even look at Tyler again, let alone engage in any more in-depth conversation with him. What had happened already was bad enough.
He followed her inside. “Where's Road Kill?”
“I saw him headed for the office.” Her words were clipped, her tone contentious.
“Oh.” Tyler casually strolled closer. “Is there anything else I can do to help?” When she kept on rinsing feeding bowls in the utility sink, pointedly ignoring him, he tried a more direct approach. “Hey, don't be mad at me. Holding hands was on the 'okay' list, wasn't it?”
It was his virtuous attitude that irritated her the most. To listen to him, a person would think they hadn't just looked through a mutual window into both their souls. Anger was her best—her only—defense against that kind of unwelcome closeness.
She sent a brief, icy stare his way. “I meant in public. When we want to be convincing.”
“Oh. Sorry.” Tyler stuffed his hands into his pockets as if hiding them would negate the social error. He stood back and watched her for long moments. “Speaking of lists, I had some trouble making mine. How about you? Did you come up with many rules?”
“No.” She tossed her head to sweep her long hair back over her shoulders without touching it while she dried her hands on a clean, white towel. “I had a terrible time deciding.”
“So how many did you write down?”
Kara made a face. “Two. But I've since thought of a couple more. Like, 'let's not be nice to each other when we don't have to be.’”
“You don't mean that.”
“Oh, yes, I do,” she insisted. “Look at us, Tyler.
All we have in common is our grief. What kind of basis is that for anything?”
He sensed the enormous protective wall she'd built around her broken heart. How sad to have nothing more than that to represent her years of marriage. And how truly blessed he was to have had the opposite kind of life with Deanne.
Rather than express thoughts that would only intensify Kara's hurt and resentment, he kept silent and gave in. “Okay. If that's the way you want it, that's how we'll do it. But I won't guarantee I'll remember I'm supposed to act unfriendly when we're alone. It's not my nature.”
“I know.” Kara's voice was barely audible. Then she raised her chin proudly and stood ramrod straight. “Leave the hostile stuff to me. I'm very used to handling it.” She saw a new tenderness start to shine through his eyes; a sentiment she wanted no part of. “And stop looking at me like that.”
“Seems to me we went over this subject once before, back in my kitchen. So how do you want me to look at you?”
“Not at all would be fine with me,” she snapped. “I felt like an animal in the zoo when we were in church this morning. Everybody was staring at us and whispering.”
“Well, not everybody,” Tyler said with a half smile. “There was that old bald guy in the back pew, second from the left. But I think he was asleep.”
He ducked just in time to miss being hit in the head by the wadded-up towel she chucked at him. Grinning, he caught it as it tumbled past and hefted it in his hand as if testing its weight.
Kara noticed his eyes narrowing while his sly smile spread. She warned, “Whatever you're thinking, Tyler Corbett, don't you dare do it.”
One eyebrow arched. “I didn't start this.”
“Yes, you did. I was trying to be serious and you made fun of me.”
“Of us, Kara. Not of you. I know exactly what you mean about feeling like you're always on display. People mean well, but their morbid curiosity gets in the way.”
“Well, maybe.” Noting that he was still holding the balled-up towel in his hand, she edged to her left until her hip bumped against the rim of the sink. She'd been rinsing the kennel dishes with warm water from the spray nozzle and the main water supply was still turned on. If Tyler did what she thought he was planning to do, she'd be ready to retaliate immediately.
Looking at her askance, he drawled, “Kara…I see a funny look in your eyes. What are you thinking?”
“Why, nothing, Tyler.” The words were coated with far too much cloying sweetness to be believable.
He fisted the towel. “Get away from the sink.”
“Uh-uh. Not till you put that down and back off.”
“This could get nasty,” he cautioned.
“I'll take my chances.”
He charged.
She lunged for the sprayer. Grasping it, she swung it toward him without taking aim. As close as he was, she couldn't miss.
Tyler bellowed but kept coming. He grasped her wrist to divert the spray. It shot straight up in the air and rained down on them both like a private cloudburst.
“Let go of me!” she screeched.
“Not till you turn off the water!”
“I can't,” Kara shouted. “You're holding my hand shut.”
“Why didn't you say so?” Releasing her, Tyler started to laugh. “You're a mess, Doc. So's your hospital.”
“Well, so are you.” She was sorely tempted to shoot one last spritz at him. If he hadn't been drenched already, she might have given in to the whim.
“I'm not as bad off as you are,” he countered, wiping his face with his hands. “I hope your dress isn't ruined.”
“It's washable.” Kara looked down at the limp, soggy fabric. “I don't remember if the directions say I'm supposed to take it off first, but I suppose I am.”
“Undoubtedly. They probably figured it wasn't necessary to explain that part.” Still chuckling softly, he eyed the disorder they'd created. Water dripped from the overhead beams and puddles had formed on the concrete floor, especially where they'd stood. “I think it's my turn to mop,” he said.
“It's only water. It'll dry.” She handed him a fresh towel. “Here. Your hair's all wet. Just toss the towel into the hamper under the sink when you've finished with it. I have a laundry service.”
“Maybe you should jump in the hamper yourself,” he quipped.
“Naw. I'll dry, too. Eventually.” She glanced at her reflection in the window over the sink. One side of her hair still looked fairly good. The other hung limp and soggy. “I do think it might be best if I didn't go back to get my truck until later, though. No telling what rumors will get started if folks see me like this.”
“People mean well,” Tyler offered. “They don't know they're doing anything wrong when they pay so much attention to us. I think we scare them.”
That gave her pause. “Scare
them? How? Why?”
“Because they can identify with us on a basic level. Whether they admit it or not, they know that what happened to us could just as easily happen to them.”
Kara sighed. “I'd never thought of it quite that way. You may be right.” A slight smile lifted the corners of her mouth. “Of course, if you tell anybody I agreed with you about anything, I'll deny it.”
“You mean you'd lie? Tsk-tsk-tsk. Weren't you listening to the sermon this morning?”
“Since you insist on the absolute truth,” she said stubbornly, “the answer is, no. I didn't hear a word of it.”
“Why not?”
Kara shook her head slowly as she studied the handsome rancher. His dark hair was tousled from towel drying, his eyes sparkled with wit, his smile made her toes curl every time he flashed it, and his openness made her feel totally unequipped to cope on an equal level.
Starting for the door leading to the rest of the animal hospital, she looked back over her shoulder. “Only one embarrassing question per customer.
You've already used yours. Sorry.”
“Where are you going?”
“To look for Roady and see what kind of trouble he's gotten himself into this time.”
Pensive, Tyler watched her leave the room. Trouble? Hah! That scrawny brown pup's antics were nothing compared to what was happening between him and Kara. He was starting to like her. Really like her. They could become friends, perhaps even confidants, if she ever got over being so blasted standoffish.
He sighed deeply. It was easy to believe Kara's claim that she was an expert at handling hostility. She should be, given her past. But there was more to her than that. Much more. Tyler just wasn't convinced that he wanted to get close enough to her to find out what else there was to know.
Kara's dress was still speckled with damp spots by the time Tyler drove her back to the church to get her truck. Road Kill napped on the seat between them, providing the barrier both of them wanted.
When she opened the door to get out, the puppy acted like he expected to go with her. Kara put out her hand to stop him from trying to jump down and hurting himself. “No, Roady. You go home with Daddy.”
“I wish you wouldn't keep calling me that.” Tyler pulled the pup to him so she could safely close the truck door. “It's embarrassing.”
“Don't be silly. There's nobody else here to hear me say it,” she countered, waving her arm in a wide arc.
Road Kill cuddled up to Tyler as Kara peered in the half-open window. “Besides, I do see a family resemblance. For instance, you both have brown eyes.”
“Sweet of you to notice,” Tyler grumbled. “So, how much longer am I going to have to baby-sit this monster?”
“I'll probably need to work on his leg a couple more times, depending on how fast he's growing. On an adult dog, we could just cast the break and leave it alone, but on a growing pup the dressings can get too tight if we're not careful.” She noticed that Tyler had laid his arm across the puppy's back, like an armrest, and was absentmindedly scratching his fur under the Elizabethan collar. Road Kill's eyes glazed over, then drifted half-shut with utter bliss.
Tyler nodded. “Okay. How about this funnel-shaped thing you put on him? When can I take it off?”
“Whenever you want. I'd probably give him a few days, then remove it and watch to see what he does. If he leaves his leg alone, it should be safe to stop using the collar.”
“Do you think he will?” Tyler asked.
Kara chuckled. “Not in a million years. He has your stubborn streak, too. Must run in the family.”
Susan was lying in wait for her when Kara got home. “Aha! I knew you'd show up here, eventually. You might abandon your only sister and run off after church without a word, but you'd never leave your helpless animals to fend for themselves.”
“Did I forget to put out bowls of kibble and water for you, sis? Sorry.”
Susan giggled. “You should be.” She trailed Kara into the house, continuing to badger her. “Well? Give? What happened with you and Tyler? Where have you been all this time? Do you know it's after three o'clock? I've been going nuts, waiting and wondering.”
It suddenly occurred to Kara that she wouldn't have to tell a single fib. Not one! Susan's wild imagination would supply enough lurid details all by itself. “There's absolutely nothing between me and Tyler Corbett,” Kara declared, relieved.
“Oh, sure. I saw the way you two looked at each other in church. And then when he hustled you out the side door the way he did, I thought I'd faint. What a hunk!”
“I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about. We just left that way to avoid the crowd at the other door. There was nothing romantic about it.” She almost laughed at the disbelief in her sister's expression.
“Sure, sure.”
“It's the truth. Actually, I'd expected to sit by Louise this morning, but she's out of town. I understand she went to visit her sister.”
“Oh, yeah, I see. Be nice to the former mother-in-law. Good plan, kiddo. If Louise Tate is on your side, you've won half the battle.”
“I'm not being pleasant to Louise because she was Deanne's mother. I happen to like the woman. I probably would have liked Dee, too, if I'd had a chance to get to know her.” Pausing, Kara decided to go on. She stared directly at her sister to reinforce the point she was making. “The only thing I don't like about Louise is her nosy attitude.”
“Oh, really?”
Kara couldn't believe Susan's blameless demeanor. “Yes. Really. There seems to be a lot of that kind of interference going on around here. Have you noticed?”
“Nope.” Susan giggled again. “Must be your imagination.”
“I doubt it. And if you don't want me to disown you, you'd better not set up any more surprise dinner parties with me as the patsy. Got that?”
“Sure. You don't need my help. At least not anymore. I can't believe how fast you and Ty took to each other. Has he forgiven Alex, too?”
Sobering, Kara shook her head. “I don't know. I haven't asked. Don't you bring it up to him, either. The less said about Alex, the better.”
“Was it really so bad…living with him, I mean?” Susan laid a comforting hand on Kara's arm.
Now that Kara had spent a little time with Tyler Corbett, she could see how much she'd missed—would continue to miss—in life, simply because she'd chosen to wed the wrong man. That knowledge intensified the depth of her remorse. “It was what it was,” she said softly. “I have no one to blame but myself.”
“Why? Because Alex was a skunk? That wasn't your fault, it was his.”
“I married him,” Kara said flatly. She pressed her lips into a thin line. “I made the choice. That makes it my fault for the way my life turned out.”
Susan raised her voice, nearly shouting, “Phooey! You're as bad as Tyler.”
“What do you mean?”
Shaking her head, Susan huffed in disgust. “As close as you two have been, lately, I thought you'd know already. He blames himself for Deanne's death. Talk about dumb.”
“What?” Kara's knees felt suddenly rubbery.
“Why?”
“I don't know all the details. Just what Mark's told me. I guess there was a problem getting the treatment Dee needed, because of the cost involved. Ty finally worked it out by mortgaging everything, but in the meantime, her condition got a lot worse. More than one doctor told him the short delay didn't affect the inevitable outcome, only he refused to believe it.”
“Oh, how awful for him.” Unshed tears filled Kara's eyes, threatened to spill over. She blinked rapidly to hold them back.
Susan was nodding with comprehension. “The poor guy went through hell. So tell me again how you don't care a thing about him.”
What could Kara say? Of course she cared. But that didn't automatically mean there was anything else brewing between her and Tyler. On the contrary. Susan's story further underscored his phenomenal love for his wife. A perfect devotion like that was a onc
e-in-a-lifetime gift from God, not something that could ever be replaced.
Sniffling, Kara turned away to hide the consequences of her overwrought state. Naturally, Susan wouldn't be fooled, it just helped to avoid seeing the sympathy mirrored in her eyes.
“I do care about Tyler,” Kara said. “Not for personal reasons, but because I understand what he's going through.”
“Is that why you're crying?” Susan asked tenderly.
Within the jumble of Kara's emotions, one unwelcome fact continued to surface until she could no longer deny its existence. All her tears were not for Tyler. Or for his loss. Some were for herself. She'd wasted her chance for the kind of happiness he'd found, and, like it or not, she was envious of a woman she'd hardly known, simply because he'd once loved her.
Oh, Father, forgive me, Kara prayed silently. I don't mean to be covetous. I just wish…
Breaking off, she tossed her head stubbornly and started for the kitchen. “Forget it. I'm acting silly. I'll be fine as soon as I can find a tissue and blow my nose.” She managed a smile as she glanced back at Susan. “I've been shutting Speedy in the laundry room while I'm gone. Let him out for me, will you?”
“Sure. Why's he in the doghouse?” Susan was still a bit subdued.
“Because he's tried twice to chase a rabbit by jumping through the screen on the front window. I don't want him to try it sometime when the glass is closed. He'd probably be cut to ribbons.”
“Ugh! No kidding.” She finally started to smile. “You and your menagerie. I swear, I don't know why you keep taking in so many strays.”
“They don't have anybody else. They need me,” Kara said. To herself, she added, And I need them for the same reason.
Chapter Eleven
Kara was surprised when Tyler showed up at the animal hospital just after closing the following Wednesday.
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