“I don’t need to read a book,” Tyler said flatly. “Just tell me what kind of stuff I need and I’ll buy it.”
“You mean make you a list?” Kara saw his color deepen. Even with only moonlight to illuminate the scene, it was evident he was embarrassed.
“Yeah, well…writing all that stuff down was a mistake. I think we should forget about it.” The silly list he’d made as a joke had ceased being funny as his personal awareness of Kara had grown. She was a desirable, witty, intelligent, attractive woman. Too attractive, considering their pledge to be no more than friends.
Tyler could see he’d made a big mistake by insisting he and Kara spend more time together. The only way to control his impulsive thoughts was to leave, as soon as possible. He got to his feet. “Looks like it’s time I went home.”
“Awww. The party’s over?” The hours had passed swiftly. Kara had no idea how late it was. Nor did she care.
“We both have to get up early tomorrow.” Tyler busied himself gathering the residue of their feast and stuffing it into a trash bag. “I’ll take this with me so your dogs don’t get into it and hurt themselves.”
“Okay.” Puzzled, Kara handed him an empty carton. For a guy who’d been so insistent that she dine with him, he was sure acting put off all of a sudden. She tried to recall exactly what she’d said or done that had triggered such an adverse reaction. Nothing came to mind. Still, something had definitely destroyed their earlier tranquility.
Deciding she should ask what was bothering him, Kara silently rehearsed speech after speech, trying to make up her mind what to say. No approach seemed suitable. Soon, her uncalled-for nervousness had built to such heights she could hardly form a coherent thought.
Her heart fluttered. That unique frame of mind was all too familiar. And decidedly unwelcome. Her body was reacting to Tyler’s mood change in precisely the same way it had whenever Alex or her father had gotten upset!
That honest analysis absolutely floored her.
Kara was still dealing with the possible ramifications of her disturbing conclusion long after Tyler had driven away.
Chapter Fifteen
Sunday after Sunday, Kara continued to sit with Tyler in church and try to act as if nothing had changed in their so-called relationship. But it had. She'd analyzed her innermost thoughts and decided that, although she did love him, she obviously wasn't trusting him completely. As Susan had pointed out, she wasn't even trusting God the way she should, and she had no idea how to change that, either.
Now that Road Kill's broken leg was healed and the pup no longer needed her care, it was getting easier to avoid Tyler during the week. Sundays, however, were a different story. She'd begun to dread going to church. She knew she could ask Tyler to worship somewhere else, only then he'd wonder why she'd suggested it. Which would mean either lying or admitting her emotions had gotten out-of-control. Neither would do. She was stuck in a no-win situation.
Still, Kara knew she must stop seeing Tyler…anywhere. Period. The more they were together, the harder it was to pretend she didn't care; to behave as if they were just casual friends. Given enough opportunity she was bound to say or do something that revealed how crazy she was about him. Once that happened she'd never be able to face him again. Because he was Mark's boss, that attitude could hurt Susan's family, too.
Thinking about the mess she'd gotten into by agreeing to a supposedly harmless little fib, Kara decided there was no such thing as a harmless lie. She felt like kicking herself. Instead, she simply stuffed her raw emotions into the farthest corners of her mind and refused to show anyone how much she was suffering.
Catching her between patients, Susan was the first to mention the symptoms of her withdrawal. “Hey, Kara.” She snapped her fingers. “Wake up. What's the matter with you lately?”
“Nothing. Sorry. What were you saying?” There was no enthusiasm in her tone.
“So,” Susan drawled, “you'll give me a big raise?”
Kara's mind jerked back to reality. “What?”
''I figured that would get your attention. I was actually talking about Ty's hayride idea for the fall festival at church. Do you like it?”
“Sure. The kids will love riding in a wagon.”
“So will the adults, if they're anything like Mark and me.” She giggled. “Are you working a booth, again?”
“No. I'm not up to it this year.” Placing one hand on the small of her back, Kara stretched to ease the strained muscles. “I carted all those boxes of old receipts home so I could rummage through them in the evenings. It's amazing how much trivia we accumulated when Alex was keeping the books. He sure didn't have his act together the way you do.”
“Thanks.” Susan smiled, then sobered. “I wouldn't be so sure all that confusion was due to his lack of skill, though. I've been going over your personal records, the way you wanted me to, and I suspect the man was a lot smarter than we've given him credit for.”
Kara couldn't honestly refute her sister's theory. She had never caught Alex doing anything deliberately unlawful but she had corrected a few mistakes in his accounts once. Soon after, he'd started updating the bills on the computer terminal in his private office.
“Nothing was correctly filed, that's for sure,” Kara said. “Trying to put everything in order is a nightmare.”
“Are you close to being done?”
“Close enough.” She rubbed her back again. “I think I'll have the job finished this weekend, at the latest.”
“Then what?”
Kara arched her eyebrows and shrugged. “I don't know. Depends on what I find when I start matching our suppliers to the actual usage. I still can't bring myself to believe Alex purposely endangered the Corbett herd—or anyone else's animals—the way Tyler claimed he did.”
“I don't suppose you've asked Tyler for his version of the story, have you?”
“Of course not! Why would I bring that up? You're the one who told me he blames himself for his wife's death.”
“So?”
“So, it all ties together. If his herd hadn't gotten sick he could have sold it off, or used it as instant collateral, instead of borrowing against the ranch property to pay his wife's extra medical expenses. That would have been much faster and easier. Only nobody wanted anything to do with unhealthy cattle.”
“That's not your fault,” Susan argued.
Nodding, Kara sighed. “I just hope I can prove to myself that it wasn't my husband's fault, either.”
By late Friday night, Kara knew the worst. Alex had bought enough vaccine to cover the Corbett ranch's needs, all right. But he'd also treated a large herd out near Ravenden. That meant he'd either diluted all the vaccine or skipped half the inoculations he'd claimed to have given. Either way, she didn't think she could ever face Tyler again. Truth to tell, she was having enough trouble facing herself. How could she have been so stupid? So naive? So trusting?
She bit her lip as her actual weakness became clear. She'd been cowardly, not stupid. It had been easier to overlook Alex's faults than to face him, incur his wrath and insist on a clear accounting. Which meant she shared the blame for everything.
But what could she do to make amends? Nothing. She didn't have the monetary resources to pay anyone back for their losses, no matter how much she wanted to. Nor could she do anything about Tyler's personal hardships. The worst part was knowing he blamed himself for the tragedy Alex's dishonesty had sparked.
In need of comfort, Kara picked up the phone and dialed her sister. The minute Susan answered she blurted out the whole sordid story. When she was through, all her nervous energy had been spent and she plopped into the nearest chair, exhausted.
Susan offered reassurance. “Don't blame yourself, Kara. You didn't know what was going on.”
“I do now.''
''True, but so what? It's all in the past.”
Slowly, pensively shaking her head, Kara voiced the truth she'd been avoiding. “No, it's not. I have to tell Tyler. He deserves to kn
ow everything, so he can stop blaming himself.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” She pictured the ruggedly handsome face she'd come to love and imagined the loathing she'd see in his eyes once he heard the truth. “You and I both know it's the right thing to do,” Kara said with a shudder. In her heart she knew that facing Tyler and revealing the wrongdoing her search had turned up was absolutely essential.
It would also be the hardest thing she'd ever done.
On the morning of the bazaar, Susan drove her car to church so she could safely transport the cakes she'd baked. Mark rode with Tyler in the rubber-tired ranch wagon. They'd hitched a team of sorrel mules to it and lined it with bales of clean straw to use for benches. Tyler was driving.
“Susie called her sister, just like you wanted,” Mark said. “But Kara wouldn't budge. Says she's too busy to come today.” He plucked a shaft of loose straw, twirled it between his fingers, then stuck one end of it in his mouth. “I don't know what's gotten into her lately. I haven't seen her act so gloomy in years. Not since—”
“Since her husband was alive?” Tyler offered.
“Yeah. How'd you know?”
He shrugged. “I knew her then, too. Not as well as you, of course, but well enough. In those days I never would have guessed she was so smart and funny, and-” He stopped talking when Mark began to laugh.
“You forgot beautiful,” Mark said. “And lovable.”
Tyler started to glare at him, then softened. “Yeah. And you forgot tenderhearted. I don't know why she insists on taking in all those stray animals.”
“I think it's partly because it's her nature to rescue things. Always has been. I suppose that's why she became a veterinarian in the first place.”
“What do you know about Alex Shepherd?”
“Not much. I never liked the guy. Don't have a clue why, though. He was always pleasant to me when we ran into each other at family gatherings.” Concentrating, Mark squinted and stared off into the distance, then added, “There was just something about him that put up the hackles on the back of my neck the minute he walked into a room. And that was back before I knew he was abusing Kara, so I can't blame my reaction on that.”
Tyler stiffened and brought the team to a halt with an abrupt, “Whoa!” When he turned to Mark there was fire in his eyes. “What do you mean he abused Kara? When? How?”
“Hey, don't look at me like that,” Mark said, flinching under his angry stare. “I just found out about it a couple of weeks ago, right after she finally told Susie.”
“Told her what?''
“That she'd been afraid of Alex. Apparently, he had the same kind of volatile temper their father used to have. Only Alex was better at hiding it. He saved his tantrums for his wife, when they were alone. One night he went nuts and broke every dish in a fancy set they'd gotten for a wedding present. It was a gift Kara had really loved, so I guess he figured he was punishing her.”
“And Kara put up with behavior like that? I can't believe it.”
“I know what you mean. I had the same problem when Susan first told me. But you have to remember how much Kara has changed since she's been on her own.” Starting to smile, Mark added, “She's gotten even more independent since she started seeing you. Obviously, being in love is real good for her morale.”
Tyler's gut knotted. Kara wasn't in love. She'd made it perfectly clear on more than one occasion that she wasn't interested in romance. And no wonder. Thinking about her appalling life with Alex Shepherd made Tyler want to lash out. Since Mark was the only target available, he squelched that urge and replaced it with a more acceptable one. He had to see Kara. Immediately. Eyeing the church in the distance, he told Mark, “Get out.”
“What?”
“You're walking from here. It's not far. A little exercise will do you good. Tell them I'll have the wagon back in plenty of time for the hayride.”
Mark did as he was told. “Okay. You're the boss. Where will you be?”
“I'm going to Kara's.”
Grinning knowingly, Mark stepped away to give Tyler room to turn the team. All he said was, “Well, well. What a surprise.”
Kara heard the jingle of the mules' harnesses before she actually saw the low-sided wagon turning into her driveway. She quickly called her dogs so they wouldn't spook the team.
Shading her eyes with one hand she recognized her visitor. Apprehension washed over her. “Oh, please, Lord, not yet. I know I asked for the opportunity to tell him the truth, and I will. I promise. But you can't expect me to do it now. I haven't even begun to decide what I should say or how I should say it.”
Heart beating wildly, Kara watched Tyler's approach. Normally, she would have admired the matched pair of mules. This time, however, she had eyes only for their driver. Tyler's hat was set low, shading his luminous, dark eyes. Strong hands held perfect command of the reins. One boot was propped on the footboard, the other on the brake. The sight of him was so dear, so heart wrenching, it caused her actual physical pain. So did her guilty conscience. She didn't have a clue how she was going to cope with both problems at the same time.
During the drive, Tyler's contemplation about how Alex had treated Kara had left him so upset he was barely able to curb his temper. He brought the team to a halt a few feet from her. Instead of his usual pleasant greeting, he ordered, “Get in.”
His overbearing attitude restored a measure of Kara's lost self-control. By focusing on being miffed she was able to reply with suitable sarcasm. “Good morning to you, too, Mr. Corbett. What brings you here like this?” She gestured at the wagon. “Did your truck break down?”
“I came to get you for the fall doings at church. Mark had some crazy idea you weren't planning to come.”
“I'm not.” Kara stood her ground.
“And why is that?”
“Because, I…” Hands on her hips, she scowled up at him. “Hey. Hold it, mister. I don't have to explain a thing to you.”
Tyler knew she was right. He hadn't meant to come on so strong. Or to start ordering her around, either. He was just so furious and so frustrated by what he'd recently learned from Mark, he hadn't been thinking straight. And now he'd made a bad situation worse.
Wrapping the reins around the wagon brake he climbed down, intent on looking directly into Kara's eyes when he apologized. He had to be sure she didn't fear him the same way she'd feared her late husband. A slightly built woman like Kara would have been crazy to stand up to Alex Shepherd when she'd already seen proof of his violent tendencies. Leave him, yes. Challenge him, no.
All Tyler wanted to do at that moment was take her in his arms, hold her tight and promise to protect her forever. Instead, he stepped closer and solemnly removed his hat. “I'm sorry, Kara. There's no excuse for my lack of manners. Will you do me the honor of letting me drive you to church in my wagon? Please?”
She didn't know what to say or do. In all the times they'd been together she'd never seen him act so earnest. When he added a second, “Please?” it was hard to refuse.
“I have a lot of chores to do,” she alibied. “I really can't spare the time.”
Placing his hand gently on her shoulder he felt her flinch. The unconscious reaction to being touched tore him up inside. Speaking softly, comfortingly, he reassured her. “You don't have to be afraid of me, Kara. I'd never, ever hurt you. I swear it. As God is my witness.” There was a quick flash of doubt in her upturned gaze. It was replaced by a subtle yet perceptive smile that reached into Tyler's soul and calmed his uneasiness.
“I know.” Kara slipped her arms around his waist and stepped into his waiting embrace. Laying her cheek on his chest she listened to the heavy, reassuring beat of his heart. If she could have stayed there like that for the rest of her days, she'd have gladly done so. Unfortunately, that was impossible.
Acting lighthearted to keep Tyler from seeing how deeply his vow had touched her, she leaned back and smiled up at him. “I suppose this means you'll expect me to give in and
go with you now?”
“Only if you want to.” He brushed a conciliatory kiss on her forehead. “I've been praying hard that you'd change your mind, though.”
She rolled her eyes dramatically. “Oh, great! So, if I refuse you, you'll blame me for undermining your faith?”
“It could happen.”
Kara watched his grin spread, crinkling the corners of his eyes. This was the kind of cheerful give-and-take she'd missed so much when she'd stopped spending extra time with him. She knew it was foolish to resume the sham relationship that had already caused her to lose her heart, yet the urge to allow herself a few more hours with him was very strong. Besides, she reasoned, if they spent the day at the church get-together, maybe she'd have a chance to explain what Alex had done.
Kara sighed. Who was she kidding? All she wanted was the opportunity to enjoy a few more special moments with the man she loved. To make memories that no one could ever take away. Once Tyler learned who had been responsible for his loss, there was no way he'd ever be able to look at her again and not remember, not think the worst.
“All right. I'll go,” Kara said, feigning a casual attitude. “Give me a few minutes to change.”
“Why? You look fine to me.”
The compliment made her feel like she'd just been handed first place in a beauty contest. “Thanks. You're not so bad yourself, cowboy.”
“It's the hat,” Tyler quipped, squaring it on his head. “Gets 'em every time.” He held out his hand. “Come on. Let's go before you change your mind.”
“I won't change my mind,” Kara promised. “But I do intend to change to newer jeans. If I go to the church in these, my friends are liable to take up a collection to clothe me!”
“If you ask me, you'd even look good in a feed sack,” he insisted, “but I won't argue. Just hurry. A lot of kids are waiting for hayrides. I don't want to disappoint them.”
“Right. Be back in a flash.”
Kara was still reeling from his compliments as she ran toward the house. Could he have meant them, or was he just being polite to add emphasis to his apology for being so grumpy? It had to be the latter. After all, he'd been married to Deanne, a tall, beautiful blond who looked like an angel and was so perfect she was practically a saint.
The Perfect Couple Page 16