by Codi Gary
Kirsten stopped dancing when she noticed her. “What are you doing here?”
“I live here,” Caroline snapped, hardly glancing at the confused blonde when she caught sight of Gabe by the coffeepot, holding two cups in his hand. Their eyes locked, but she couldn’t get a bead on what he was thinking or feeling.
Doesn’t he feel guilty for bringing home a girl who is obviously too drunk to make good choices?
But Kirsten was a grown woman who had made the decision to get stupid drunk. And Gabe was making her coffee. It wasn’t like he’d spiked her drink.
Like Kyle did to you?
Caroline hated that Kyle was so fresh in her mind. “I’m going to bed. Try to keep it down.”
Gabe had the audacity to shrug. “I make no promises.”
Stomping down the hallway, she resisted the urge to slam her door.
Why are you mad? He’s not doing anything wrong.
She didn’t answer her inner voice.
Caroline realized she’d forgotten to brush her teeth and walked out of her bedroom again. Gabe and Kirsten were no longer in the kitchen. Another giggle came from behind Gabe’s closed door. She brushed her teeth quickly and went to bed, finally slamming the door again before she could stop herself.
She’s too drunk, and he should know better.
The thought came unbidden and caused her to catch her breath, trying to bite down the panic.
This happened sometimes. She’d catch the harsh scent of a cologne, reminding her of the one Kyle had worn that night. Or she’d taste that same cherry flavor that reminded her of the drinks Kyle had spiked.
Or she’d see a girl who was out of control from drinking too much.
Closing her eyes didn’t help, but she did it anyway and clenched her fists until her nails dug painfully into her palms. That night was still a blur, with patches of memory missing throughout, and that was almost more terrifying. Remembering the disorientation as she came in and out of consciousness. The heavy feeling of him on top of her, inside her. The pain so sharp it had made her sick. She remembered vomiting over the side of the bed and his laughter. He always seemed to be laughing at her.
He was still laughing at her.
Taking slow, even breaths, Caroline grabbed her iPad from her dresser and her Wi-Fi plug. Nothing could chase the past away, but sometimes an episode of The Big Bang Theory could push the memories back down.
Caroline set the iPad up on her nightstand and rolled onto her side, concentrating on the characters on the screen instead of the demons in her past.
Chapter Eleven
“I’ve been told if you want to find a good man, look at the way he treats his mother. I disagree. You want to find a good man? Watch the way he treats his dog.”
—Miss Know It All
CAROLINE WOKE UP to the sound of the front door slamming. Rubbing her hands over her face, she glanced at the clock next to the bed and groaned at the red 6:07 A.M. mocking her.
Climbing out of bed, she went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth. After washing her face and twisting her hair up in a clip, she came out of the bathroom and smacked into Gabe.
He grabbed her, steadying her, and she caught herself staring up at him. The lids were heavy over his obsidian eyes, as if he were only half-awake. His face sported some scruff that made him look a little less perfect but no less handsome. His warm, firm grasp on her arms felt good, and the close proximity made it hard to resist stepping into him and snuggling against that hard chest. Would he wrap his arms around her, or would he pull away?
“You okay?” he asked, his voice gravelly with sleep.
Are you okay? No. You’re fantasizing about a man you despise, who takes advantage of drunk women. Stop it.
It still took her another moment to pull away. “Yeah, just sleepwalking. I’m guessing that was your sleepover guest who slammed out of here.”
“Yeah, she was running late for something.”
“Nothing like the walk of shame on a Thursday morning.”
“I wouldn’t know,” Gabe said, running his hand up and over the top of his head. His muscles flexed and bunched as he moved, and she silently told her body to stop swaying toward him. He wasn’t hot, and she needed to stay away from him.
“You’ve never left a girl’s apartment after a one-night stand?” Caroline asked, taking another step back.
“Not that I can remember,” he said, moving around her into the bathroom. Spreading toothpaste on his toothbrush, he added, “And I don’t usually have overnight guests either.”
“Aw, so Kirsten is special? How romantic,” Caroline said sarcastically. Without giving him a chance to respond, she walked out into the living room. She was angry again, wondering what had happened to Kirsten after Gabe had taken her back to his room. Had she woken up this morning with a fuzzy recollection? Had she realized what had happened and regretted it?
Needing something to do, anything to occupy her, she grabbed a few of the empty boxes left over from unpacking and headed for the front door.
“Actually, I’m just not as big of a dick as you seem to think I am,” Gabe called after her.
Caroline dropped the boxes to open the door and turned to snap at him. “Well, you certainly aren’t a good guy, or you wouldn’t have slept with a woman who could barely walk a straight line.”
His handsome face twisted into a glare. Had she struck a nerve?
“I wouldn’t be casting stones, princess. I heard all about your sins the minute I hit town.”
Furiously, she threw the boxes down the stairs outside and reached back for the knob. “I guess you know what I’m capable of, then.”
Slamming the door, she cursed all the way down the steps, her breath fogging in front of her as it hit the cold air. She saw frost coating the metal handrail and realized she was wearing only a thin long-sleeved shirt, pajama bottoms, and house slippers. She was too pissed off to go back and put on a sweatshirt, though. Picking up the boxes at the bottom of the stairs, she walked down the alley toward the Dumpster.
Gabe didn’t know her or what she had been through. He had no right to judge her.
You mean, the way you judge him?
Grumbling, she opened the Dumpster and had just dropped the first box inside when she heard a faint cry coming from within. She froze and heard it again. Heart pounding, her first thought was that it sounded like a baby. Someone had thrown a baby away.
No, that’s not right. Babies don’t mewl like that. It has to be an animal, right?
Caroline wasn’t much of an animal person, but the thought of someone taking something helpless and throwing it out like garbage infuriated her.
Looking around for something to stand on, she saw a stack of pallets behind the Local Bean Coffee Shop. It took her a few minutes to drag them over, but once they were stacked five high, she stood on top and looked over the Dumpster’s edge. It was pretty full, and reaching out, she moved the box she’d just thrown on top of the pile. At that moment, she saw a black plastic garbage bag move.
What if it’s a rat?
“What if it’s not?” she said aloud and climbed inside, crawling across the top until she reached the moving bag. Gripping it with both hands, she ripped it open wide and looked inside.
A lump formed in her throat as she stared at the tiny fuzzy bodies. A litter of kittens. She picked up one with fur the color of butter, but its body was cold.
“What the hell are you doing?”
Caroline looked up to find Gabe standing in front of the Dumpster, his expression blank.
“Someone just threw them away,” she said, her voice sounding hollow as she picked up the next kitten. And then the next.
But she’d heard a cry.
One of them must be alive.
To her surprise, Gabe took a few steps closer. “Here, hand them to me,” he said, holding his hand over the side.
She didn’t argue. Handing him the yellow kitten, she saw him grimace before he set it down outside the Dumpster. He he
ld out his hand again and one by one, she handed him the cool, lifeless bodies. When she reached the last two, a fluffy gray tabby and a short-haired, cream-colored kitten, she noticed that they were warmer than the others but still motionless. And then the cream one moved and meowed.
“Oh!” she cried, a wet laugh escaping. She hadn’t even realized she was crying. “This one’s moving.”
“What about the other one?” Gabe asked.
Her smile disappeared. “It’s warm still, but not moving.”
“Here,” he said, and she placed the kitten in his outstretched hand. To her surprise, he started rubbing the kitten gently.
“What are you doing?”
“I worked at an animal shelter once and saw the vet do this to a puppy that had stopped breathing.”
“Did it work?” she asked, hope constricting her chest as she held the squirming cream kitten close.
“No,” he said, before placing his mouth over the kitten’s tiny mouth and nose and breathing into its body. He pulled back and began rubbing it vigorously all over, turning it over and over in his hands.
“I’ve got him,” Gabe said, his handsome face shining as the kitten cried weakly and squirmed in his hands.
Caroline watched him cradle the small cat, amazed by his gentleness. “You saved him.”
Gabe glanced up from the kitten, and their gazes locked. Electricity crackled around them, and suddenly, she had the urge to crawl across the garbage and kiss those full lips. Just to thank him.
“Hey, what are you doing in there?”
The connection was broken by a woman’s voice, and Caroline turned to see Gracie McAllister, the jealous woman from last night, racing toward them from the back of the Local Bean.
Caroline cleared her throat. “Someone dumped a litter of kittens into the trash.”
“Oh my God! Bastards!” Gracie looked at both of them and then down toward the ground in obvious horror. Caroline wondered if Gabe had just set the other kittens on the ground and that was what Gracie was seeing. “Here, I’ll take him while you climb out,” Gracie said, finally, holding her hands up to Caroline.
For some reason, Caroline was reluctant to release the kitten. He had called out to her, after all, but in the end, she wanted to get out of the Dumpster. Handing Gracie the little kitten, she crawled out with the help of Gabe’s other hand under her elbow. As soon as her feet were back on the ground, she took the creamy furball back from Gracie, her heart melting a little as he nuzzled her neck.
“The veterinarian is down the street, but she’s probably not in yet,” Gracie said as she pulled out her cell phone. “Luckily, I have her cell number. I’ll let her know you’re coming down.”
“Thanks, Gracie,” Caroline said.
Gracie shook her head and hugged her before Caroline could react. “You are my new hero, Caroline Willis. There are not many women who would climb into a Dumpster—for any reason.”
Caroline had never been called a hero in her life and had no idea what to say as Gracie released her to make the call. With Gracie just a few steps away, Caroline didn’t want to say anything to Gabe that Gracie might hear, but damn it, the man had gone from being a total asshole to the type of guy who gave mouth-to-mouth to a kitten.
It was unacceptable.
That action alone said he had some redeeming qualities, and she didn’t want to think about him like that. From their first meeting, she’d put him down as self-centered and bad-tempered, but he’d followed her outside for some reason. To explain about Kirsten maybe? Had she jumped to the wrong conclusion? Maybe she’d been too drunk to drive, and he’d just taken care of her.
Was she reading too much into his actions? She’d tried too many times to see the good in people that just wasn’t there and learned the hard way that men would screw you and disappoint you every time. It made forming attachments almost impossible, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“Okay, she’s on her way to the office and will meet you there,” Gracie said, stepping close enough to stroke the top of the cream-colored kitten’s head. When she spoke again, she was talking to the kitten in a high-pitched baby voice. “I’m sorry people are assholes, but you’re going to be in good hands.”
Caroline glanced over at Gabe, whose expression warred between amused and how fast can I get out of here. Caroline understood what he was feeling as Gracie took her hand and squeezed it. “You come in for coffee anytime you want. It’s on the house.”
Before she could argue, someone opened the back door to the coffee shop and yelled Gracie’s name. As she hurried away, Caroline and Gabe stood alone.
Clearing her throat, Caroline said, “You’re the one who should be getting free coffee. I didn’t do anything but get a little dirty.”
“I didn’t do anything. Hell, I didn’t even think that shit would work,” he said sharply.
“Still, it did, so really—”
“Look, princess, I like animals and all that, but don’t go thinking I’m a hero because I got lucky. I’m no fucking hero.”
Caroline was taken aback at first, but then her temper flared to life. “Of course you’re not. But for a minute there, I thought you might at least be a human being.”
He didn’t say anything right away, and it burned her that she’d actually felt warm fuzzies toward him. He held the kitten in one hand and a box in the other. Since the other kittens weren’t on the ground, she assumed they were in the box, and she held out her hand.
“Why don’t you give me your kitten and the box. I can make it down the street on my own.”
“Not without dropping a kitten. They’re squirmy,” Gabe said, confusing her further. She’d given him the perfect out, and he wasn’t taking it.
Throwing up her free hand, she snapped, “Fine. Whatever. Let’s go.”
But as she started down the alley, her little kitten began to nuzzle and knead her neck, its tiny body vibrating with a clicking purr, effectively melting Caroline’s heart and diffusing her anger.
He’s not worth your anger or your energy.
Which killed her, because for just a moment, she’d thought he might be.
GABE, WHY THE fuck do you have to be such an asshole?
Gabe couldn’t answer the question.
It was true he’d seen the vet use mouth-to-mouth on the puppy at the shelter, but the rubbing trick he’d remembered from watching 101 Dalmatians, Honey’s favorite movie.
Now, all he could think about was the time Honey had brought home a very pregnant stray dog when they were kids. Their mother had bitched that they didn’t need another mouth to feed, but she’d let them keep the dog anyway. When the mutt gave birth, one of the puppies hadn’t been moving. Honey started crying and praying, but he’d grabbed a towel from the bathroom and started rubbing.
Gabe had told Caroline that it hadn’t worked because he didn’t want to get her hopes up, but it had worked. The little puppy had started moving and squirming, and Honey had thrown her arms around him.
“You’re my hero, Gabe.”
Hearing the same words from Caroline had sent panic bubbling up his throat. He wasn’t a good guy or a hero. If she started thinking he was anything but an arrogant dickhead, he would only disappoint her. Even at his best, there was too much bad surrounding him to combat the good. It haunted him constantly; if Honey hadn’t sustained brain damage, would she remember the accident? Would she blame him? Hate him? He could only imagine, and the scenes that played out in his mind were never ones of forgiveness.
Which was why allowing Caroline to get close to him would be a mistake. Despite the rocky start between them, he liked Caroline’s spunk. But he didn’t want to feel anything for her, especially when it would only lead to hurt later on. What could he offer any woman but a broken man with a checkered past?
But when he’d come down the stairs and found her in the Dumpster, she’d looked so sad and vulnerable, he’d wanted to help her. Protect her.
And now, the best way to do that was to keep h
er from getting too close.
“I think this is probably her,” Caroline said, breaking into his thoughts when they arrived at the vet’s office just as a large truck pulled up in front. “I can take the kitten if you want to go.”
“I’m good.” He rubbed his thumb across the fuzzy little baby’s back and almost smiled when it arched and mewled.
“You must be Gabe and Caroline,” said the young black-haired woman who jumped out of the lifted diesel truck. “I’m Zoe Carver.”
Zoe was tall and leggy, and as she passed them to open the office, Gabe noticed she walked with a small limp. She pushed open the door and turned to him with a sad smile on her face. “I’ll take the box, if you’d like.”
Gabe handed her the box of dead kittens and let Caroline go ahead of him as they followed Zoe through the lobby and into a small exam room. As Zoe clucked and tsked over the box, Gabe glanced toward Caroline and saw she was fighting to control her expression. It surprised him; he hadn’t pegged her for the type to cry over anything. Ever.
“Most likely, they died from hypothermia or suffocation. Gracie said you found them in a Dumpster?” Zoe asked. She didn’t give them the opportunity to answer before she continued. “Some people just suck.” Zoe came around the exam table and held her hands open. “Why don’t you hand over your little darling, and I’ll examine him or her.”
Gabe released the kitten to her and balked when she said, “You two should get medals for heroism.”
“I didn’t do anything,” he said quickly. “It was all her. I just held the box.” He avoided Caroline’s gaze but could feel it boring into him. The intense stare finally pulled his gaze up to meet hers, and he saw the confusion. The disappointment.
If she knew the truth, she’d understand.
The air around him became hot and stifling as he imagined telling Caroline everything he had done. The disgust and resentment it would cause.
People who found out about his DUI assumed he was an alcoholic, that he just couldn’t help himself. But he hadn’t been drunk or high since that night. He could have a beer or drink, but never more than one if he was out. Still, people didn’t want to hear that. They just assumed the worst and wrote him off.