‘But you didn’t die,’ she said through stiff lips.
Jack smiled grimly. ‘Nay. I managed to stay alive, fuelled by my hatred of him.’ He glanced at her. ‘Do you understand now, Anna, the kind of man I am? The depth of my sin? I am responsible for the murders of those I loved and must pay the price for what I did to them. You must not try to prevent me from avenging their deaths. If I survive, then we will meet again; if I don’t, then pray for my soul.’
‘You’re a fool, Jack!’ she cried, unable to bear the thought of him leaving her to go to his death. ‘Put the past behind you and live!’ She felt as if her heart was being splintered into pieces and knew what she must do. How could she allow him to face his enemy without proving to him that his sins were forgivable and there could still be pleasure in life?
She gazed up into his shadowy features and touched the fine line of his jaw before running her fingers up the side of his face. She felt his facial muscles tense and, remembering what he had said about his scar being a reminder of his shame, she reached up and pressed her lips against it yet again. For a moment he froze and then he moved his head, so that his mouth found hers. As they kissed her fingers searched for the fastenings on his doublet and she began to undo them. She had not finished doing up her own fastenings and within moments he had torn them apart and they were breast to chest, tantalising each other as their bodies slid against each other, kissing in a hit-and-miss fashion, whilst he removed her gown and she eased off his nether garments.
Hand in hand they hurried over to the lawn and dropped onto their knees, each gazing hungrily at the other’s nakedness. All feelings of guilt or remembrance of past loves had fled. Both trembled with desire. Then they were in each other’s arms and rolling on the grass. His mouth blazed hot sensual trails over her skin, triggering pleasure that left her moaning. She longed for him to take her and she did not have long to wait. He slid on top of her and took possession of her in a passionate gallop that carried her to soaring heights of ecstasy and left her gasping for more. She heard the purr of fulfilment in his throat and believed that she had succeeded in her aim. She could only hope that he did not consider her wanton. If he did so then he had an odd way of showing it, for he continued to hold her in his arms as she came slowly down to earth, although the effects of that wondrous moment remained in her relaxed limbs and closed her eyes.
Never had Jack believed he could find such delight in pleasuring Anna. He had thought that her remembrance of her husband, and the shame she felt at being accused of being a wanton, might have made her resistant to his lovemaking. Instead, she had melted beneath his caresses in a wondrously thrilling manner. He felt good and could not deny the great sense of release and joy he had received from their coupling. He felt her stir in his embrace and she stretched and opened her eyes. Then he remembered where they were.
‘We’d best make a move and get dressed,’ he said in a low voice. ‘Raoul and his wife will be wondering what’s happened to us.’
For a moment Anna remained where she was and then she sat up. ‘I had forgotten about them. I had forgotten everything,’ she said in a shaky voice.
‘Me, too,’ murmured Jack, getting to his feet and moving away from her.
She gazed up at him and marvelled at the strength and shapeliness of his legs and the masculine beauty of his body. Surprisingly, she felt no shame in looking upon his nakedness even now. Rising from the ground, she followed him over to the bench where they had left their garments. As she dressed, Anna considered how her misery had fled. She was now filled with hope, convinced that Jack would change his mind about having his revenge on the Comte de Briand. She and Jack might not love each other, but, having found pleasure in each other’s arms, perhaps there might be a future for them together. She looked at him and saw that he was gazing at the pond and the statue of the boy in its midst. She remembered what he had told her about his son and felt an empathy with him. But all she said was, ‘Are you ready to return to the house?’
‘Give me a few moments. You go on ahead,’ said Jack.
‘If that’s what you wish.’
‘It is.’ He sounded unlike himself.
Anna was suddenly filled with uncertainty and did not want to leave him alone. ‘I’m sorry about your son. I do understand how you must feel.’
‘I doubt it. Now go, Anna. I have much to think about.’
She was still reluctant to leave him and touched his arm. ‘Jack!’
He turned on her. ‘Go!’ he roared. ‘Am I not plagued by demons of guilt? I no longer know what is right and wrong! Please, go and leave me alone!’
She stared at him in disbelief and then turned and fled up the garden. She should never have given herself to him. Her intent had been to help him, but somehow she had failed and added to his guilt. She had tempted him into fornication, so adding to her own sin. She burst into the house, pausing in the passage way, and wondered where to go next. She leaned against a wall, trying to calm herself. Her pulses were racing and her head was throbbing. How was she going to face Jack across the supper table with them both feeling the way they did? She was aware of a deep pity for the dead boy caught up in Jack and Monique’s affair. Suddenly she was raging inwardly at Jack for allowing an innocent child to suffer for his sin. How had he met Monique? How soon had they fallen in love and decided to risk all by having an illicit love affair? Was it so surprising that the husband had wanted to punish his wayward wife and kill the man responsible for taking her from him?
Rather a harsh punishment, though, said a reasoning voice in her head. He killed the boy, too, remember? Anna began to weep for that boy and her own son and strangely the two seemed to merge into one.
Suddenly a door opened and light flooded part of the passage ahead. A woman carrying a branch of candles came out of a room. She started when she saw Anna standing in the shadows. ‘Is that you, Lady Fenwick?’ she asked.
Anna wiped her eyes with her sleeve, knowing she could no longer remain skulking in the darkness. She forced herself to walk forward with a hand outstretched. ‘You—you must be the Comtesse d’Azay?’
‘Indeed, I am.’ The other woman’s eyes appeared to be searching the passage behind Anna. ‘Master Milburn is not with you?’
‘He said he will follow in a few moments.’ Anna cleared her throat. ‘It’s a pleasure to meet you, Comtesse. It is kind of you to welcome me into your home.’
‘Please call me Margaret.’ She looked at her with concern. ‘You don’t look well.’
‘I have a megrim, but it will pass. You must call me Anna.’
Margaret smiled. ‘You will wish to go upstairs and rest. Your bedchamber has been prepared, so I will take you up there.’
Anna’s body sagged with relief. To be alone and not to have to talk to anyone sounded bliss. ‘That would be most acceptable,’ she said.
As they climbed the stairs, Margaret asked her whether she planned on making a long stay. ‘Unfortunately not this time,’ answered Anna. ‘I was unsure whether I would be welcomed here and did not come prepared. There are important matters I have to deal with at home.’
‘You’re a widow, I believe?’
‘That is true. You have children, I believe?’
‘Aye.’ Margaret proceeded to tell her about her small son and daughter. Her descriptions about their appearance and cleverness lasted until they arrived at the guest bedchamber allotted to Anna.
The lighted candelabra revealed a well-appointed room, decorated in cream and pink draperies. There was a cherrywood armoire, a box bed, a chair, a washstand and a carved chest on which had been placed her saddlebags. Margaret pointed out various items, such as the water pitcher and the drying cloth, then she went over to the armoire and flung open the doors to reveal the clothes within. She fingered a couple of gowns before turning to Anna. ‘Please, help yourself to what you need and come down when you are ready.’
Anna thanked her. As soon as Margaret left her alone, she sank on to the bed. Her head felt as if i
t were splitting in half and that if she moved it, then it just might fall off. She could no longer think straight due to the pain, so she stayed where she was. After a while her back ached so much that she made the effort to remove her boots and outer garments. She washed herself and then rubbed herself dry on the extra-thick drying cloth. Taking out her silk night rail, she put it on and then blew out all the candles before climbing into bed.
She craved oblivion and closing her eyes, tried to relax. It seemed an age before she drifted into that state betwixt sleep and wakefulness. Now Jack filled her thoughts and she relived the moments of their coupling and prayed for God to forgive them and at the same time she asked him that it would not be for the last time. Snatches of their conversation echoed in her mind. She imagined he was standing nearby, watching her with sadness in his face, and dreamed that she was comforting him all over again.
Chapter Ten
It was the noise of someone moving about the room that woke Anna. Then a shaft of sunlight painted a bright lozenge of pale gold on the wooden floor. She could not believe it was morning. Another shutter was flung open and she realised it was Margaret in her room.
‘Have I slept all the night through?’ asked Anna, somewhat in a daze.
Margaret smiled at her. ‘Aye. Master Milburn said you were exhausted and must be left to sleep.’
‘When was this?’ asked Anna.
‘Last night. You must be famished. You missed supper.’
‘Where is he?’
‘He had to leave early. In truth, he did not even bid Raoul farewell.’
Remembering Jack’s mood when she had left him last evening and also what he had said about confronting the Comte de Briand, Anna was filled with apprehension. She sat up. ‘Has he gone alone?’
‘He must have done. Raoul is vexed with him, for he left without saying where he was going or when he will return.’
Anna climbed out of bed. ‘That’s because he believes he might not return.’
‘Why do you say that?’ asked Margaret, looking startled.
Anna did not answer, but gazed about her for the garments she had taken off last night, but she could not see them anywhere. ‘Where are my clothes?’ she asked, frowning.
‘I gave them to the laundress to wash. I thought you would appreciate some clean raiment.’
‘I would, but I plan to go after Jack. How will I return them to you if I borrow some now?’
Margaret’s eyes almost popped out of her head. ‘Does he know you plan to follow him?’
‘Not yet he doesn’t,’ said Anna, opening the armoire. ‘But he must be stopped.’
Margaret shook her head. ‘You really are the most unusual pair. Do help yourself to whatever you need, Anna. Don’t worry about returning them. They belonged to Raoul’s mother and I planned to give them away to a used clothes-dealer sooner or later.’
‘Thank you,’ said Anna, deciding to make the most of the offer and to pack a change of clothing just in case she should get wet. ‘Where is Raoul?’
‘In the parlour. Jack told him about your parchments and he’s perusing them.’
‘I see.’ Anna was surprised that Jack should have remembered about them in view of what had happened last evening.
‘I’ll tell him to expect you down soon, shall I?’ asked Margaret. ‘No doubt he’ll be eager to speak to you.’
‘And I with him,’ murmured Anna, giving her attention once more to the garments hanging in the armoire.
She removed a cream kirtle in soft linsey-woolsey and placed it on the bed. This was followed by a gown of green linen, embroidered about the neck, cuffs and hem in red and yellow silk thread. After a couple of years of wearing black or grey, Anna felt a lift of the heart at the thought of wearing such a gown. The fact that Jack was not there to see her dressed in such a fine garment grieved her, but she was determined to prevent him from getting himself killed. She’d had to cope with so much loss and sadness in her life that she did not wish to face any more grief. She took a shift of primrose yellow and a gown of blue from the wardrobe. Later, she would pack them in her saddlebags.
After performing her ablutions, Anna donned the fresh garments. They smelt faintly of lavender. Then she tidied her hair and covered it with a fresh wimple and veil, before leaving the bedchamber and going downstairs.
She had little trouble finding the parlour and expected to find Margaret and Raoul’s children there, but he was alone in the room. He was sitting at a table gazing down at one of her parchments. She cleared her throat.
Instantly Raoul lifted his head and rose to his feet. ‘Anna, you are much better this morning? You look delightful.’ He held out a hand to her. ‘Come and be seated. I must say that whenever I considered the possibility of meeting you, I did not think you would have with you such fine parchments as these.’ He pulled out a chair for her. ‘Your husband was a connoisseur.’
She ignored the chair. ‘I am pleased to hear you say that. Jack certainly thought they were fine examples of the period.’
‘Ahhh, Jack!’ Raoul grimaced as he picked up a silver bell and rang it.
A few moments later the door opened and a servant entered. Raoul spoke rapidly to him and then he left. ‘I have ordered you a substantial meal, presuming you are very hungry after missing your supper.’ He raised an eyebrow.
Anna thanked him. ‘You must forgive me my bad manners last evening, but I fell asleep.’
‘Jack said you were exhausted. I presume you know where he has gone if you intend following him.’ He placed the parchments in their cloth wrappings and, putting them aside, stared at her.
‘Indeed, I do. I must stop him from throwing his life away.’
Raoul frowned. ‘I did not expect him to leave this morning without a farewell. My wife says you believe he might not return. Will you explain this?’
Anna hesitated. ‘It is Jack’s tale to tell. I can only say that his destination is Amiens and…’
‘Ahhh, perhaps it has to do with the disagreement between King Edward and King Louis.’ Raoul pursed his lips. ‘I am still surprised that he did not mention this to me.’
Anna made a decision. ‘Raoul, do you know the Comte de Briand and, if you do, do you like him?’
He seemed surprised by the question. ‘Gaston and I have done business together recently. He is not a friend. Although, one cannot blame him for the kind of man he is. He has not had an easy life.’
‘Jack told me his wife had a worse life at his hands.’
Raoul frowned. ‘I did not know Jack knew him or his wife.’
‘Apparently he did.’ Her voice trembled. ‘Is the Comte a strong man? A good swordsman?’
‘He is a well set-up fellow and I should imagine he is as skilled at swordplay as the next man.’
‘Jack plans to kill him or die in the attempt,’ she said, pacing the floor.
‘You must be mistaken!’
‘You think I would say this if I was not sure of it?’ she said passionately.
Before Raoul could reply, the door opened and Georges entered, carrying a tray. Her host sighed. ‘You must eat now, Anna. You can explain what this is all about after you’ve done so.’
‘But we must try to stop Jack before it is too late.’
Raoul looked at her sympathetically. ‘You are overwrought because of what you discovered about your parents. I cannot see what quarrel Jack has with Briand. Calm yourself and eat.’
Anna gazed down at the slices of ham, fresh bread rolls, butter and honey. ‘What I feel has naught to do with my parents. Jack believes the Comte de Briand did him a great wrong and he is determined to have his revenge.’
Raoul looked incredulous. ‘I cannot believe this.’
‘You must believe me,’ said Anna forcefully. ‘We have to stop him.’
He sighed. ‘Be silent. Eat whilst I ponder this matter.’
Anna thought—how could she be silent when she was seized by such a sense of urgency? She managed to force a little food down, impatien
t for Raoul to speak. Eventually he looked at her. ‘Has this to do with the years he spent in slavery?’
‘Aye! But that is all I can say.’
Raoul looked annoyed. ‘I cannot believe that Gaston played a part in Jack’s abduction,’ he said, shaking his head.
‘Jack believes it. We must persuade him that there is another way to deal with him,’ she persisted.
‘It is not so easy for me to drop everything and follow Jack. There are arrangements I would need to make. In the meantime, Anna, you will do naught so foolish as to attempt to follow Jack on your own.’
Anna nodded, before sweeping out of the room and going upstairs. Raoul just did not have the same sense of urgency as herself, she thought. She fastened her saddlebags and hoisted them over her shoulder. Then she went downstairs and made her way across the yard to the stables. There she saw Raoul in discussion with one of the men and instantly she changed direction and went into the garden.
She sat on the bench overlooking the pond, reliving those moments of lovemaking again, wondering if Jack had felt something more than lust for her. If Raoul did not make up his mind soon what to do, then she would leave without him.
She gazed at the statue of the bronze boy in the pond and felt a familiar tightness in her chest and a stinging behind her eyes. She wondered if the sculptor had used a real child as a model or whether he had imagined those mischievous, boyish features. She thought of those moments spent here with Jack last night, when he had told her that he had once had a son. Possibly the moonlight shining on the statue had caused that explosive statement. Her mother’s heart ached for the child and the man. She could so easily imagine Jack’s anguish and guilt for not being able to save his son. Had she not felt the same when, despite all her attempts to heal Joshua with her potions, she had failed to do so? At least she had been able to kiss her son’s eyes shut and prepare his body for burial. Poor Jack! She doubted he even knew where his son was buried.
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