by Lola StVil
“Um…I don’t know.”
“HOW LONG?!”
“A day or so.”
“Seriously?”
“Bex—”
“Do you know how many times I’ve had angels come to me with suspicions that you and Silver were hooking up? Do you know the number of times I’ve had to defend you to my friends? Defend you to my people? Or the number of times I’ve had to defend you to my own brother?”
“Diana—”
“It didn’t matter who told me what or when. I always stood up for you. I did that because I believed you when you said you picked me.”
“I did pick you.”
“Bullshit! Ever since I got back, all I’ve been hearing are rumors of you and Silver. But I never even bothered to ask you about them, Pry. And do you know why? Because I had faith in us. I had faith in you. It has been month after month of rumors and whispers, yet I never even came to you, asking for explanations. But Diana makes some vague story about me on a roof and you go with it?”
“She acted like there was something going on with you two, and I—”
“I DON’T GIVE A DAMN WHAT DIANA DID OR DIDN’T SAY! YOU SHOULD HAVE HAD FAITH IN ME. I EARNED THAT.”
“You’re right,” I admit in a whisper.
“It took you mere hours to destroy what we built. So one minute I’m the guy you love, and the next, I’m some cheating bastard who can’t keep his hands to himself? All of that in a matter of hours? That doesn’t make sense.”
“I know, it’s crazy when I think about it now.”
“On second thought, I think it makes perfect sense,” he says bitterly.
“What are you talking about?”
“All Diana did was give you what you’ve been begging for since day one: an excuse to go back to Silver.”
“That’s not true.”
“The hell it isn’t. It could have been just about anything. You would have ended up fucking Silver no matter what. If it wasn’t because I supposedly cheated on you, it would have been because you had been in a battle and he rescued you. Or because you found yourself feeling sad in the middle of the night. Hell, you’d end up in Silver’s bed if the cable guy was late.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Any excuse whatsoever to be with him.”
“That is not what happened.”
“What happened was I was thrown in a hole and left to die, and you were too busy in another guy’s bed to give a damn.”
“I know you’re feeling—”
“YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW I FEEL!”
“I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry,” I reply as I reach out to touch him.
He moves away and looks back at me with disgust. “I saw the way you two looked at each other. But I kept telling myself that it was all in my head. I chose to believe you when you said you wanted to be with me.”
“I did—I do. I’m just confused.”
“That’s a lie; stop lying to me!” he scolds.
“Okay, yes, I have feelings or something for Aaden, but that doesn’t mean—”
“Are you listening to yourself? Pryor, do you even want to be with me?”
“Yes.”
“Yeah, you want to be with me so much you screw the one guy, the one guy you know I can’t forgive you for being with.”
“I know I messed up.”
“No, Pry. I did. I messed up by thinking you could ever love me like you do Silver. But you didn’t have to work so hard to get out of this relationship. All you had to do was say you wanted out. My heart was yours; it was yours to do what you wanted with. If you didn’t love me, all you had to do was give it back. You didn’t have to plunge a fucking blade into it first!”
“Bex, what can I do to make this better?”
“Was it a quick pull-your-underwear-off-to-the-side kind of thing, or did the two of you take your time?”
“Bex…”
“I want to know. Did you two spend hours exploring each other’s bodies while I lay in some hole dying? C’mon, paint the picture for me, Pryor. Were there candles? Flowers? Whips? Chains? What?!”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“YES, IT DOES!”
“I will fix this,” I vow.
“Fix? You think this can be fixed?”
“I’d like to try.”
“Then tell me something: have you revisited that night with Silver in your mind since it happened?”
“I have regretted doing what I did.”
“That’s not what I asked you. I asked if you’ve ever revisited the sex in your mind.”
“Yes—but that doesn’t mean anything. It was just sex.”
“I can conceive of forgiving you for having sex with another guy. But Silver will never be just ‘another’ guy. He’s always going to be the one you love, the one you make love to. And you know what’s really messed up about this whole thing? I thought I was making progress with you, with us. I really thought we had something.”
“Bex, we do. There is something between us.”
“Yeah, and his name is Silver. Good-bye, Pry.”
“Bex, wait! I love you,” I plead as I reach out and latch on to his arm.
“If this is what it feels like to be loved by you, I’d rather you hate me.”
“Bex, I’m sorry. I don’t want us to…please tell me, what can I do?”
“You can stay away, far away.”
Book ii:
Aaden Case (Silver)
“and in the end, letting go was a lot like finding love.
I had to learn to say goodbye to the one
who gave me the courage to say hello…”
—Robert M. Drake.
Chapter Twenty-One:
My Second Love
She’s being coy. She knows I hate that, but still she insists. It’s been ten minutes since she flew into the safe house and made her way to my room. Her name is Airabella, but don’t call her that. She hates it. She goes by Belle. She has long strawberry blonde hair, her eyes are crystal blue orbs that sparkle at the sign of mischief, and her succulent pink lips have been the downfall of more than a few angels.
Belle is into both guys and girls. It doesn’t matter to her. The only thing she cares about is finding a mysterious guy or girl to hold her interest. And Omnis help you if she finds anything interesting about you. She will make it her mission to find out all your secrets. You’ll spend endless nights in the throes of passion in her bed. Her kisses make it hard to remember what day of the week it is. Her knowledge of an angel’s body surpasses that of anyone else in the angel world. But once she feels she has “solved” the mystery she found in you, she’s done with you. You will never hear from her again. I’ve heard of her dumping guys midsex.
Belle and I have gone a few rounds in the past. When she breaks up with a guy or I end it with a girl, we find ourselves back with each other. Sometimes it’s only for a week or a weekend. And once we hooked up for a few hours in Tel Aviv, Israel. We drank more than any two angels should, set a few demons on fire, and had sex until neither of us could move.
Once I came back to the team, Belle and I lost touch. It’s hard for others to understand, but Belle and I are actually more than just sex. I think the reason she is always seeking out a guy or girl is because she’s afraid of being alone. I get that—more than I care to say out loud. And while we did have our fair share of wild nights, we also had some really good conversations. She never judged me, and I never judged her. I always thought of her as the angel version of Diana. It’s funny, but the two of them hate each other.
“Belle, was there something you wanted?” I ask when she falls silent and studies my room.
“What I wanted was a phone call from you, but that never came,” she says, pretending to be hurt.
“Belle, you have the power to freeze things. If you really needed me, you would have turned everyone and everything around me into Popsicles.”
“Yes, but where’s the fun in that? A lady wants to be sought out, Silve
r.”
“Are you being a lady today?” I tease.
“Yes. And that means you have to treat me with fragile delicate hands.”
“Well, I don’t think that will work. I’m more of the throw you across the room and get what I want from you kind of guy,” I reply with a smile.
“I know. And I miss that,” she says as she laughs and heads over to the bed.
“We had fun, I can’t lie about that. But that was then. Belle, you know where I stand.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. The First Noru better be worth all this.”
“She is. Now what did you come here for?” I ask.
“I came because I have some info that I thought you would want to know. But to be honest, I don’t feel very appreciated by you. I may have to take my info elsewhere,” she says.
Belle may be a fun-loving tease, but when it comes to acquiring information, she’s the real deal. She is a keeper of secrets. Angels trust her. The fact is, she never betrays anyone. So if she’s here sharing info, I know it must be important.
“Belle, you know I appreciate you,” I reply sincerely as I look into her eyes.
“Show me,” she purrs as she gets comfortable on my bed.
“Belle, you know I can’t.”
“You really love Pryor?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Fine. But I’m leaving here with my info.”
“C’mon, whatever it is, you know you want to tell me. That’s why you came all the way over here.”
“I came over here because I wanted you to make me feel good. But you won’t even touch me,” she says like a petulant child.
“Okay, then get out,” I reply, knowing she hates to be dismissed.
“Silver!”
“Belle, I have a lot going on. The Guardians just got back. My team and I are dealing with some serious shit. So if you came here to get laid, that’s not gonna happen. But if you came here as a friend and want to tell me something, stop playing games and tell me what you came to say.”
“I MISSED YOU!” she blurts out, unable to stop herself. She pouts and looks down at the floor.
“Airabella Madison, you know how I feel about you. You know how much our nights together mean to me.”
“So you say, but you never call.”
“Because you’re dangerous. One look at you and I’ll quit the team and be your damn slave,” I reply, knowing how much she loves to be flattered.
“Well, that’s true. I’m impressive.”
“Yes, and well, I didn’t want to tempt myself by being near you.”
“Fine, but I still want you to make me feel good. No one has been able to do it like you do,” she insists.
“I told you we can’t—”
“I know. But can you say that thing to me? That thing that you always say that makes me…”
“What thing?” I tease.
“You know what thing!” she scolds.
“Belle…”
“Please.”
“Belle, is your info really that important?”
“I promise. And it’s also time sensitive, so…”
“Argh, fine. I’ll say it to you, but then I want the info. Got it?”
“Deal,” she says as she purrs with anticipation and sits up on the edge of my bed.
This woman is going to drive me crazy.
I sit on the bed beside her, lean in, and say something into her ear. As I whisper the words, she starts to blink rapidly. She places her hands on either side of her and clutches the sheets on the bed between her fingers. I’m only saying five words to her, the same five words repeatedly, but it’s enough to make her eyes roll to the back of her head.
I make it a point not to touch her. I promised I would say the words that excite her, but touching her is over the line. In fact, whispering might be over the line too, but knowing Belle the way I do, she will not leave here until she gets what she wants.
Soon, her head falls back and she gasps with pleasure.
Yup, this is crossing the line. Shit!
I stop and back away from her. She opens her eyes and desperately begs me to continue.
“Belle…I want to know what you have to tell me but not like this. Pry and I…I think there’s a chance she’ll forgive me. We might get past this—finally. I don’t want to screw that up. If this is the only way I can get you to tell me what you know…I guess I’ll never know it.”
She rolls her eyes with irritation, stands up, and folds her arms across her chest. “Fine. I’ll tell you,” she grumbles.
“Really? Why?”
“Because you’re the only angel or demon who can give me an orgasm from across the room,” she says wistfully as I laugh and shake my head.
“Thank you. Now what is it?” I ask.
“I have a friend who works at the Hole in Las Vegas,” she says.
The Hole is a place run by Quos with the power to alter reality. Angels go in there to relive memories with loved ones. You pay them by giving them a few feathers from your wings. I went there many times to relive my days with Sparks. If an angel goes there too much, they are in danger of giving away all the feathers from their third coat. That would result in being grounded on Earth forever and never flying again.
“According to my source, there’s a guest there tonight that’s going to get the infinity treatment.”
“What? No! No one would be that crazy,” I reply.
The infinity treatment is where an angel willingly signs away the entire layer of their third coat in order to stay in the memory of their loved ones—forever. They never come back to reality. It’s so rare that only three angels have dared to do it. In the end, all three of them died because no matter how real the fantasy is, that’s all it is. The angel soul is starved of light from the real world, and in a few years, that angel dies.
“What angel would be desperate enough to give up their whole life for a memory?” I ask her.
“Rumor has it you frequented the Hole many times,” she reminds me.
“Yes, and it was wrong. It made it that much harder to move on.”
“Well, this angel doesn’t care about that. He wants to live with his memories and doesn’t care what happens in the real world.”
“Whoever it is, they will spend their entire life in one room. And sooner or later their body will reject the fantasy. And the sorrow that follows—”
“Will kill him. It’s kind of like living inside a time-release Soul Chaser,” she concludes.
“Belle, who is it? Who’s about to end their life to live in a fantasy world?” When she says the name, shock and worry spread through me.
“Damn it, Belle! You should have told me when you first got here!” I yell as I bolt out the window and take to the air. I fly at top speed and hope to Omnis I’m not too late.
Moments later I find myself standing in front of a seedy hotel a few blocks off the Las Vegas Strip. The streets are littered with used-up angels desperate to gain entrance and spend time in a fantasy world. But they have used up all the feathers from their third coats and have nothing left to offer the Quo. So they loiter outside, hoping the Quo will have mercy and let them in. The place is what to humans would be a drug den. And inside is a user who really should not be here.
I march up the steps and burst through the double doors. There are twin Quo guards standing just beyond the doorway. Red beams emerge from their eyes and form a barrier like an electric fence so that I can’t get through.
“You need an appointment, Noru,” the twins reply in unison.
“I’m not here to use your services. I’m looking for someone,” I reply.
“No one is allowed entrance without an appointment. The one you are looking for has to leave here of his own accord,” they inform me.
“You can put your shield down and I can get my friend with no hassle, or I can get him by walking over your charred bodies. Either way, I’m getting inside.”
“You have no authority here, Silver, and as an angel, you won’t
attack a Quo,” they conclude.
“That isn’t a very angel thing to do. You’re right. But today, I’m no fucking angel,” I swear as I begin setting the hotel on fire. One by one the customers flee from the hotel.
“This is nothing. I will take down this whole damn block if you don’t get out of my way,” I warn them. They glare at me, and I summon a fresh orb of fire in the palm of my right hand. They look around at their fleeing customers and let down their force field.
“Where is he?” I demand.
“He wants to get the infinity treatment. He has a right to do that,” a tall Quo woman says as she enters the hallway.
“Look, lady, tell me where the hell my friend is, or I’ll plaster this damn place with your flesh.”
“This is our place of business. You can’t just—” Before she can finish, I set her ass on fire. I throw a small fireball at the hem of her dress. I make it small so that the guards have time to save her before the white dress catches fire. As they throw their jackets over the woman, I remind them that I am just getting started.
Finally they point me to the last door on the right of the hallway. They inform me that my friend is just about to sign away the rest of his life. I race down the hall, past the smoke and fleeing angels, to where he is and kick the door down. There is an old Quo man who has summoned a memory that plays out before us.
In the memory, the father’s hands and feet are loosely tied to a pink plastic chair by satin ribbons. The father pretends to struggle as if his life were really in danger. He calls out for help. And as soon as he does, an excited toddler angel with pigtails and a soft pink dress comes through the door with her hands on her hips.
“Daddy, I save!” she announces proudly.
“Yes, please, please help me!” he says dramatically as if his life were really in danger.
“Be white back,” she says, not yet fully able to say the word right.
But instead of “saving” her dad, she goes back out the door.
“Key, c’mon, baby girl. Aren’t you gonna save Daddy?” the father asks.
She comes back in the room and sighs dramatically. She then tries to calm herself and explains to her father what he seems to be missing.