by JC Harroway
Overcome with a frenzy of confused emotions, I grip his face and bring his mouth back to mine.
‘I can’t stop touching you.’ He nuzzles my neck and palms my aching breast.
‘Me neither.’ I sigh, my hands roaming his strong back and tight backside. But we’ll need to find the strength to stop soon. Sterling will be in London next week for Mum’s memorial, which Hudson wouldn’t normally attend. He’s joining us there for a few days, given Sterling couldn’t make Tokyo, so we must appear normal when all three of us are together.
Fresh guilt grips my stomach. With any other man apart from Hudson, my ex-husband would never enter my mind after a one-night stand. But our past, our secret little triangle, complicates things.
I drop my head to Hudson’s chest and hold him tighter. Sterling can’t know about this. I can’t hurt either of them like that, because I’m certain there’d be a devastating fallout. Things could never be the same again. I might lose them both.
‘We have about fifty minutes until our meeting.’ I’m not sure which of us I’m reminding.
He pulls back and looks at me as if this hasn’t occurred to him. As if he’s forgotten last night was stolen time. My heart thumps with urgency. There’s a big part of me that wants to do it again and again. The fire between us is in no way extinguished. Can we pretend that we don’t burn? Pretend that we haven’t explored every inch of each other’s bodies? Pretend to work alongside one another with only professional and platonic thoughts?
‘Well, in that case...’ Hudson drops to his knees and guides one thigh over his shoulder. His mouth covers me, his stare blazing with that ruthlessness he applies to every challenge.
I surrender one last time.
* * *
Shingo and Yumi Kunosu, the brother-and-sister team at the head of a Tokyo-based tech company, impress me the minute they enter Hudson’s office. As they pitch their business to us through an interpreter on Hudson’s staff, I listen with admiration at what they’ve achieved alone, which has earned them a chance to share their ideas for expansion with Bold. The company develops technology algorithms directed at machine learning, language processing and deep learning. I can never hope to understand those concepts beyond a basic level, but their enthusiasm is contagious.
Only Hudson seems immune.
Kunosu’s directors won’t be aware, but his usual energy has dropped. Surprising, given this type of company is where his interest lies. It could be a result of how little we slept last night. Perhaps he’s just testy because he’s struggling to move on, as am I. Just one more time has been playing in my head all morning. But I know Hudson well enough to see it’s something more.
He glances my way and all traces of warmth—professional or otherwise—are absent.
‘We’re looking to invest in high-demand products,’ he says to Shingo and Yumi. ‘What kind of traction has Kunosu Tech had so far in the market and how do you differ from other companies in the field?’
His perfectly reasonable questions are standard, ones the duo would be expecting and no doubt are prepared to answer. Questions I’d ask myself, if Hudson hadn’t.
He rolls a pen between his fingers, a tiny tell that speaks to his tension. Prickles of apprehension buzz over my skin. Something’s bothering him, even though he invited Kunosu here. It’s as if I can hear the cogs of Hudson’s mind working at about ten percent their usual level. Where’s his enthusiasm? His instinct? We’ve both read the company portfolio—Kunosu is on the rise and we’d be stupid not to play a role in its assent.
We normally find a way to iron out any professional differences of opinion with clear communication. Only we shunned ‘professional’ last night.
This feels personal.
I half listen to Yumi and Shingo answer, my spirit dampened by my partner’s apparent reticence. I adore helping people achieve their dreams. My mother founded her own company when I was a young girl of eight. She’d spent many years raising her large family, so when her own aspirations came to fruition it brought her to life in new ways.
I still recall the celebration dinner we had as a family the day she secured an investor to help get her organic wholefoods business off the ground. The smile on her face as we’d toasted her success is one of my most cherished memories, along with the countless afternoons helping out at her shop after school. Coming from my big family, and Mum giving me my first job, helped me to discover my sense of belonging. It gave me the confidence to fail, knowing I had a safety net under me.
I slide a glance Hudson’s way, my mind sparking with the possibility that his hesitancy may be linked to regrets about last night. Because, where this morning in the shower he was the most emotionally open I’ve ever known, now he’s not only the ruthless, calculating businessman I admire, but it also feels like we’re no longer a team. He’s withdrawn. I’m on my own.
This was the risk involved in crossing that line.
To banish the I told you so in my head, I ask my own question, letting my partner see my interest. ‘How do you work as a team? Any sibling rivalries that get in the way?’
The air between Hudson and I on the opposite side of the conference table crackles with discordant energy. Vetting Tokyo business is his turf, but he allowed me to sit in on this interview. He even invited me to lead the meeting with his sexy stunt. Why is he letting what happened last night interfere?
Yumi and Shingo smile and make appropriate answers that leave me thinking about my own siblings and the ongoing working relationship I have with my family, given we now collectively run the business our mother loved.
I’m keenly aware of Hudson’s stillness, which seems brittle to my highly attuned senses and drags me from my memories. He has no faith in the family unit, and my chest aches for what he’s been denied in life.
But this is business.
Kunosu Tech is exactly the sort of company we can take global with the right management and with Bold’s connections.
The meeting comes to a close and we say our goodbyes—warm and encouraging on my part and stilted and awkward on my partner’s. Hina, Hudson’s personal assistant, escorts Yumi, Shingo and the interpreter from the room.
As the door closes behind them, I spin slowly to face Hudson, my stomach knotted with anticipation of a confrontation.
‘I like them. A lot.’ I return to the conference table and gather their company portfolio together for something to do with my hands. ‘What did you think?’
I wish I didn’t need to ask.
He retreats behind his desk, unbuttoning his jacket and hanging it over the back of his chair. ‘Mmm... I think their turnover projections made no sense. That makes me wonder what they’re trying to hide.’
I knew his heart wasn’t in it. My energy drains away, my body dragging. ‘Seriously... Don’t you think you’re being a little paranoid? Why would they waste our time like that? We’re not naive amateurs. They’d know we’ll do due diligence before making a decision to invest. I think we could squeeze them a little on the equity stake too, and the growth potential is obvious.’
He watches me in silence, his expression blank. My ire grows, heat rising like mercury in a thermometer.
I push on with my argument. ‘I respected their determined passion. Loved that it’s a family business. This is exactly how I want to spend my investment dollar, because with sufficient funding they’ll grow as a company and grow together as a family.’
Just like we did after Mum died. We might have lost her guiding light, but we still had a part of her to give us a common cause. I believe my brothers and sisters needed that as much as I did after her sudden death. Continuing her work strengthened us.
Hudson’s eyes narrow, razor-sharp. ‘You know I’m not sentimental in my business approach. The risks need to be stacked in our favour or there’s no point investing, in my opinion.’
I snort. No one could accuse Hudson
of sentimentality. But I bristle at his inference. ‘I’m not being sentimental. Allowing my emotional intelligence into my decision-making process is what gets me out of bed in the morning, what makes me love my work. I go with my gut. There’s nothing wrong with that. And you’re usually the person taking the biggest, ballsiest risks.’
I can’t help but think he’s being more bullish and uncommunicative than usual. What’s changed?
‘There’s nothing wrong with trusting your gut, but I prefer to put my faith in the figures.’ His mouth tightens with obstinacy. ‘Families argue. Become dysfunctional. Grow estranged. I’m not interested in watching that kind of dynamic sabotage what, as you point out, could otherwise be a highly profitable business venture for Bold.’
I understand his viewpoint, given his childhood. He’d once hinted at the number of foster homes he’d bounced between growing up—Sterling and I had been horrified and frankly a little speechless. But now his hesitance forces me to read between the lines. Would this perfectly standard business discussion, this minor difference of opinion, have mattered as much yesterday? Before we introduced sex into the mix?
I soften my tone in deference to his past experiences. ‘Many family-run businesses are hugely successful. Family loyalty can be their strength. This one has the clear and impressive management structure we normally look for.’
From where I’m standing, Hudson is being unreasonably prejudiced. It’s as if he’s determined to restate his commitment avoidance for absolute clarity and he’s using his reluctance to invest in Kunosu to make his point.
I stare him down, my pulse leaping. ‘Is there something you’re leaving unsaid? Are we just talking about business, or is there some hidden meaning I’m supposed to decipher? I’d rather you just spit it out. You’re acting weird.’
He rolls up his shirtsleeves and loosens his tie as he paces towards me with barely leashed purpose.
‘Weird?’ His face is a cool mask.
‘Yes.’ I fist my hand on my hip. ‘All morning you’ve been unusually quiet. Hesitant. Withdrawn. Is there something you want to get off your chest? About the sex, perhaps?’
He steps closer. I’m hit with the warmth from his body and his familiar scent. My mind helpfully provides images of him in the shower: on his knees, his mouth between my legs, and then later thrusting into me where I was pressed against the tiles.
‘Nope.’ His sensual lips emphasise the ‘p,’ drawing my attention to his mouth and the hundred kisses we shared last night. ‘I’m perfectly happy with the sex.’
I look away. ‘Good.’
I’m determined not to think about it. As great as it was, look where it’s brought us. ‘Because for a minute during that meeting it felt as if you were reminding me you’re a lone wolf.’ I snort. ‘I get that, believe me.’
Were we naive to think we could continue as if it had never happened?
‘Just because I’m thorough about the numbers adding up?’ Mild irritation narrows his eyes but he smiles. The effect is so Hudson, who does whatever the hell he wants. ‘That’s just good business. The reason you and Sterling came to me in the first place when you wanted a partner.’ His inflexible stare shifts over my face.
He’s right. We’d used the trust fund Sterling inherited when he turned twenty-one and my nest egg from the dividends of my shares in Mum’s business to make our first few investments. We were young, enthusiastic and smart enough to see the benefits of a partnership with a man making a name for himself.
‘I agree, and if that’s all this is about then we have no quarrel.’ It’s usually easy to laugh off his arrogance or calmly fight my own corner. I’m a sole woman in partnership with two big dogs. But, today, his attitude is grating on my nerves. It seems like a front to something deeper.
And, despite what he’s just said, the only thing that’s changed is the sex. It’s as if, having given in to our chemistry last night, he’s determined to retreat to a place of comfort and safety, even if it’s professional caution.
My stomach pinches with regret. Things are awkward now, muddy and murky. I feel as if I need to check myself before challenging him in business. I wonder if his motives around the investment are purely profit-driven, which normally I wouldn’t question.
His decision-making process invariably boils down to maximum growth potential for his equity share. It’s what makes him so successful. But sometimes I wonder if he misses the human angle. The potential in people.
‘I just don’t want us to write off investing in any company that happens to be family run. My family is a good example of how to work together successfully.’ I swallow hard, defensive. I’m proud of us. ‘Claire and Jeremy run the day-to-day side of things and Elliot, Brie and I are silent shareholders. We all manage to act in the best interests of the company our mother loved. Not everything is about the bottom line.’
I’m not expecting the wobble in my voice. I blame fatigue and the constant ache of missing my mum. She kept our family together, was both a wise and sympathetic shoulder to cry on and our biggest advocate. I tilt up my chin and hold his stare to hide my vulnerabilities from the man I’ve just shared an intense night with. Am I surprised he won’t believe that sometimes the best things come out of relationships between people who share a common goal? I’ve known him for five years. He’s always lived alone. He holidays alone. He’s never once accepted an invitation to spend Christmas with Sterling or me.
Acknowledging my part in ruining what was yesterday a perfectly harmonious business partnership, I take a deep breath and back down. ‘I think I need some fresh air. We’ve been cooped up in here for too long.’ I tuck my laptop into my bag and offer my most Zen-like smile. ‘Let’s park this discussion until we can patch in Sterling for his input.’
At the mention of our third partner, the room falls into an uncomfortable silence. I shove my arms into my coat, cursing my timing at mentioning my ex’s name. Bringing him up—a reminder that any investment over seven figures into a single company requires unanimous sign-off by all three of us—feels as though I invited him into the bedroom last night.
‘Yes.’ His tone is brittle. ‘Thank goodness there are three of us.’ His eyes glitter, as if he’s no longer talking about business.
I stare, my body doused in chills. Our trio has never attracted personal tensions before. Sterling will surely put two and two together as soon as he sees Hudson and I together, given that a simple everyday business discussion is awkward as hell.
Should we keep our fling a secret or come clean?
I clear my throat, desperate now to get some air, and some perspective on the implications of our changed dynamics. ‘As you say, perhaps Kunosu’s financial reports will remove the need for further discussion.’ I sling my bag over my shoulder.
‘I’ll organise my car to take you to the hotel,’ he says, retrieving his phone from his pocket.
‘Please don’t. I want to walk.’ I smile, regret driving me to get away from him. Perhaps I’m just tired. Jet-lagged. Stir-crazy.
He looks as if he wants to argue, but only says, ‘Are we still on for saké tonight?’
I breathe through the tightness constricting my throat. I want to nod, to declare I’m looking forward to some downtime during my remaining four nights in this fabulously vibrant city. Instead I hold back. Each second I delay pulses through me to the tips of my toes. Can I spend platonic time with him, or have we broken our easy friendship and camaraderie too?
My silence has stretched way beyond comfortable.
‘We didn’t sleep much.’ I button my coat. ‘I’m going to have a long soak in the bath. Can I let you know after that?’
No one is more disappointed by my hesitation than me, but I need some time away from him and his uncompromising masculinity to gather my thoughts. To reset my mind to our post-sex reality. To refocus on work and to detangle personal feelings from our professional relatio
nship.
‘Sure.’ He shrugs. ‘I’ll be here.’ He presses a chaste kiss to my cheek and moves back behind his desk.
On heavy feet, I wheel my small case to the lift, wondering where, in the short time from the shower this morning to now, we went so horribly wrong.
CHAPTER FOUR
Hudson
THE MINUTE SHE enters the bar on the ground floor of her hotel I’m hit with a vibrating wall of energy. It’s as if I thought I’d never see her again after our spat. I stand, sling my hands in my pockets, convinced now I need to make things right between us.
She’s my partner. I brought personal shit to work. How could I not? We walked straight from an incredible night into the office, trailing our baggage.
Why did I think one night would be enough? Unlike the first time three years ago, when we hardly kissed before rushing to the main event, now I know every inch of Monroe’s body—what makes her moan, and how she’s even competitive between the sheets. Now I’m supposed to somehow unknow those things. Scrub them from my brain as if it never happened. No wonder I failed to do that today.
I watch with rising arousal—clearly my dick can’t forget either—as she clips across the marble foyer towards me, her heels high, her stunning body encased in a red sheath dress and her eyes alight with passion and determination, as if I’m in her sights.
After our disagreement, it’s what I expect of Monroe.
I dug in my heels over the Kunosu Tech investment because I was grappling for control—over the desires unleashed by our night together, over my unexpectedly fierce reaction to her and over the fear my concerns for Bold were justified.
I straighten my shirt cuff, my fingers encountering the cufflink there. It reminds me of the times I had nothing more than the clothes on my back and a few more in a sad little carrier bag. Those days, I had no control over anything—where I lived, where I went to school or even what food I ate. I never want to feel that helpless again. For the first time in years, today when we disagreed in a way we never had before, I had a glimpse of what losing it all could look like.