by Ava Alise
“Fine.” I say, and begin walking up the stairs.
We are quiet as we make our way toward his car. My mind bounces between telling him the rest of the story and not telling him, and it isn't long before we are in the car and pulling out of his parking spot.
“So talk,” he demands. “What is this shit with Tara?” He shoots me a steely glare.
“How is it that you don't know all of this already?” I huff. “You and Tara are close.”
“I wasn't in the country when it happened. After Mr. Benton died…” He sighs, swiping a hand over his head. “I left. It was too much. I was in Europe when I got the call about Liam, and by the time I got home, it was over. Our families started fighting because of the grief. We couldn't figure out how we all missed the signs. Everything was a mess and everyone was trying to find an answer or someone to blame. After awhile we decided not to talk about it anymore and focus on happy memories of Liam instead.”
“Oh.” I breathe. “I know that had to be hard for everyone, especially just months after losing his father.”
“Yeah. It was. We were just figuring out how to see straight again having just lost my brother a few years before,” he says. “Then with Liam, and all the drama with the police being involved… Tara kept going on about you being to blame.” He sighs, and my body shifts as he comes to a stop at a light a few blocks from EDG. “I didn't need to know the details. The only thing that mattered was that Liam was gone and my family was falling apart.”
My heart aches for him, for his family. Everyone was changed forever and I hope it’s for the better after so much suffering. Learning to listen a little harder, to take a second look at the people closest to us, because sometimes they hide their pain the best.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. He bites his lip. “I'm sorry for the part I played in it.”
Tension rolls through him, but he only nods. “So, what do we do now?”
My heartbeat picks up as a million questions run through my head on hyper-speed. Is opening these wounds worth it? Will his family be thrown into turmoil again because of my existence in Drex's life? Is this truly a losing battle?
“You know how much I care for you, Drex.” I say. “But… with all the pain surrounding us, do you think it's worth it? Don't you think we'd just end up resenting each other?”
“Why would we resent each other?”
“My mere presence in your life would cause a divide in your family. Every time they saw me they would be reminded of something so awful that I'd never be accepted.”
And you'll probably hate me too once you find out why.
I clench my jaw as I feel the heaviness pull at my heart. “Not to mention Tara and the baby. It would be easier to stop things now before we get to that point.”
We pull into the parking garage at EDG in silence. Every nerve in my body tingles as I wait for him to respond. It isn't until we are parked and the car is turned off that he speaks.
“You’re running,” he says.
I scoff. “I'm making the hard decision.”
He turns to me and holds me with his gaze in a way that makes me want to erase everything I just said.
“Is it the baby, or is it Tara? Because if you're apprehensive about the baby, then I'll accept that, but I’m not letting you run for any other reason.”
“I'm not running,” I say.
At that moment, a few of our co-workers, Matthew and Shane, pull into the garage and park near Drex's car.
“Which is it, Kels?”
I close my eyes briefly and exhale. Before I can say anything, Shane makes eye contact with me as he's walking by.
Great.
“I should probably go. People shouldn't keep seeing us together until we take care of this thing with Marsh. I'll see you at the meeting, ok?”
Drex groans in frustration as he watches me leave to catch up with Shane. My thoughts are far away as I get out of the car and I can't grasp hold of a single one.
The mood in the office is stale. Shane and I have our normal morning meeting, but it's pointless until we get the final verdict about my job. At first, I was hoping the meeting would be later in the day so I could prepare myself, but now I really just want it over with. I'm unfocused, dropping things, I've asked Shane to repeat himself at least four time since he got here.
“I'm sorry,” I say, running my hands through my hair.
“It's fine. I'm going to head to my office. Try to breathe, Kelsa. Come see me after the meeting,” he says, giving me a hopeful smile.
I nod. “Thank you.”
I spend the next forty-two minutes and thirty-three seconds trying, and failing, at not staring at my phone. Any minute Amber will call me and I can't stop obsessing over it. I wonder what Drex is doing. I know he's pissed at the way I left him again, but I said what needed to be said. It fucking hurt, but it's probably best it happens now instead of later.
When the call finally comes, it's from Marsh's assistant, Julie, telling me to come to his office. My steps are heavy as I make my way to his floor.
“Just breathe. Either this will happen or it won't, right? You knew what you were getting into. If the worst happens, you are smart and talented enough to pick up the pieces and keep going,” I whisper in the elevator. Right as I'm about to step out on the floor, my phone chimes with a text from Drex. It's the same question he asked me in the car.
DREX: Is it the baby or is it Tara?
I don't respond. Of course it's Tara, but if I tell him that, then I'll have to tell him why and none of that will make this any easier. Steadying myself with a few deep breaths, I walk to Marsh's open office door and knock lightly on the trim.
“Ms. Preston, please join us,” Marsh says, gesturing to a seating area that hosts a few leather couches and matching chairs. Amber and Ronald are already seated on one of the couches across from Marsh. They both hold unwavering expressions as they listen intently to whatever Marsh is saying. It feels like my heart is about to freaking explode with how hard it's beating. I wonder if they can tell how freaked out I am. Hopefully I don't look as scared as I feel. “Have you seen Mr. Adams?” Ronald asks. I pause at that. Is this a trick question?
“No, I haven't.” I clear my throat and take a seat on an empty couch.
“Oh, he's running…” Ronald starts to say, but Drex appears in the doorway before he can finish. “Good, here he is.”
It's hard to describe what I'm feeling as I watch Drex approach. It's a flood of emotions—pain, longing, fear, hope. Too confusing and too fucked up to pinpoint. He gives me a small nod, greets everyone, and sits next to me on the couch.
My body is burning, but I don't know if it's because I want to be closer to him or farther away.
“Now that we are all here…” Marsh says. “We can get started.” My eyes move from his unreadable expression to that of Amber’s and Ronald’s. “I have a meeting to attend, so this won't take long.” We all nod. Drex looks steady, not nervous at all, and it both annoys and fascinates me.
“It's been brought to my attention, as well as everyone else's, that you two have been engaging in an undocumented interoffice relationship.” His eyes move back and forth between Drex and I.
“Yes sir,” I respond.
“Were you made aware of our strict no fraternization policy?”
“Yes,” Drex says. I nod.
“As well as the proper way to go about reporting a change in relationship status to HR?”
“We were,” Drex answers.
“Were either of you aware of this relationship?” he asks Amber and Ronald.
“We weren't,” Ronald says.
“The relationship was never reported,” Amber says.
Marsh’s eyes narrow and I brace myself for the worst. “What do you two think of this?” he asks Ronald and Amber.
“Well,” Ronald says, “I'm not exactly impressed with the way this situation played out. Drexel represents me and this looks bad on the both of us.” He gives Drex a hard stare. “Th
at being said…” He sighs. “He's a great assistant, truly talented in this business. I'd hate to lose him from the team.”
Marsh nods and we all look at Amber, who's glaring at me. “When exactly did this start?” she asks me.
“It hasn't been long,” I say, finding my voice. “Rest assured that if this was something we were sure of at the time, the proper procedures would have been followed,” I say. Amber holds me with her glare a beat longer, then focuses her attention to Marsh.
“One shot,” she says. “She's proven her worth to the team, and in regards to this matter, I'd be ok with giving her one more shot at keeping her job.”
“Ok.” Marsh nods. “We also have legal issues to consider,” he says.
“Legal issues?” I say.
“There are legal entanglements regarding the blackmail that can cause negative media attention.” he says. “It is your full right to press charges on Mr. Tanner, and before I ask, I want you to know that your answer, or lack thereof, will not affect any decision on my part. Will you two be pressing charges?” he asks.
“I wasn’t planning on it,” I say, and Drex agrees.
“Ok. So that you're aware, Tanner was dismissed from the company the moment I saw the video. That type of behavior will not be tolerated here. You two on the other hand…” he pauses. “You get a pass only because of the circumstances surrounding the indiscretion as well as the stellar performance you both have shown.” My heart nearly leaps from my chest and I have to force myself not to hug Drex. “But this is a one time exception… is that understood?”
“Yes sir,” we both say, and promptly apologize for the unprofessionalism.
“Is this all right with the two of you? Do you feel demotion is needed?” he asks Amber and Ronald. I hold my breath until they both finally answer, “No.”
“Great. So, officially, do you have a relationship to report?” His blue eyes burrow through us and I almost forgot how to breathe. I let my eyes find Drex's for the first time since he walked in the room. I'm sure the tension is obvious to everyone I can feel it so plainly between us. My heart hammers as I look at Drex and my emotions tangle. The fear, the yearning, the unknown.
“Well…” Drex starts.
“No,” I breathe.
Marsh, Amber, and Ronald stare at us for a beat. Drex’s brows rise, but only slightly, and I feel like total shit.
“Ok,” Marsh says, hesitating at first. “Well that's all I need from you right now. I will see you both again at the meeting when you return from Paris.”
We both stand and shake his hand, thanking him again for the opportunity before we leave.
My feet feel heavier than before as Drex and I walk towards the elevator. I expected him to be angry, frustrated… something. But, instead, he's smiling, laughing actually. I wait patiently for the elevator to arrive, holding my questions until we are out if earshot of Marsh's assistant.
“Why are you laughing?” I ask the moment the door closes.
He turns to me with an intensity in his eyes that's I've never seen before. The elevator starts its descent and he moves closer, backing me against the wall. My breath hitches as he slides a hand up my hip and around my waist.
“Because you just started a brand new game.” He smiles. “And it's going to be so much fun watching you lose.”
I hold his gaze as I try to gather my words. The doors slide open and he walks away, leaving me breathless as the doors slide closed behind him.
Drex
Thank fuck that meeting went well. Sneaking around with Kelsa was risky, but damn it, I couldn't stop. Every time she'd open those pouty lips to say something dirty, or had that “fuck me” look in her eyes, all reasons to stop the game ceased to exist. It got to a point where just looking at her across the table during a meeting or passing her in the hall would get me hard. We had sex everywhere, conference rooms, parking garages, employee restrooms. It was insatiable, it was addictive, and I would have felt like shit if she got fired for it.
The year we spent working together at Martin's, we got to know each other well, and I don't know, maybe I was falling for her from the beginning. After we crossed the line in her hotel room that night, all my control melted away. I have zero willpower with this girl, and honestly, I couldn't care less.
I walk into my office still reeling from the meeting with Marsh. It couldn't have gone better. I'm happy to know that asshole Tanner was fired, and honestly, it probably saved my job. If I ran into him again, I don't know if I would have been able to control my anger. I draw in a deep breath and smile as I lean back in my chair. Kelsa's hesitation at the meeting told me everything I needed to know.
Stack one won't break us. She's not hesitant about the baby, it's Tara. It's always been about Tara. But that's good, you see, because Tara I can work with.
Stack two, Job. Done. Now stack three…
My phone chimes with a message knocking me from my thoughts.
KELSA: What do you mean we've started a new game?
DREX: Oh, you'll figure it out.
I laugh and set my phone down. Now I know stack three will be the easiest of all. Proving to her that she's stronger than her pain will be trying, but making her see that she can't control what's going on between us will be the best part of all. Breaking that stubbornness will be a fuck load of fun. I plug my phone into the charger, boot up my laptop, and breeze through the rest of the workday finally feeling in control.
My parents live about an hour drive outside of New York City and have since the day I was born. Their neighborhood is small. Ranch style houses line the streets, with beautifully manicured yards and large porches. Stuff you don’t see everyday living in the city. It’s Christmas Eve, and per tradition, they are hosting a huge dinner party. Mr. Walton, my father’s best friend, is entering my parents’ house and I wave as I pull into the driveway. A week has gone by since the meeting with Marsh, and we will be flying out to Paris the day after Christmas. I’m excited to get started on this deal and I can’t wait to see Kelsa. She flew back home the day after the meeting to be with her family for the holiday. I haven’t talked to her much, and it’s been driving me crazy, but it’s an important part of the new game we are playing. Or should I say… I’m playing.
I kill the engine of my car and look up just in time to see my little sister, Kimberly, walking over to the passenger door. With narrowed eyes and red cheeks, she yanks at the door. As pissed as I am at her for dropping out of college, moving away, and getting engaged, I’m always happy to see her. No matter how old she gets, she’s still my kid sister and my love for her is the only reason I haven’t beaten the shit out of her asshole fiancé, Ben.
“Oh God, take me away!” she says, climbing into the seat.
“What’s going on?”
“Mom is driving me nuts. If I have to knead one more ball of dough I swear no one will have pie because I’m going to smash all of them,” she exclaims.
“You know how she is this time of year.” I laugh.
“Yeah,” she huffs, and peers at me with tired eyes.
I look from her to the house. “Is everyone already here?” I ask.
“Yeah. Well, everyone but Ben,” she says.
“Ben,” I say, trying hard not to grit my teeth. “Why isn’t he here?”
“He had to make a run, but he’ll be here before dinner starts. I think he’s shopping for Christmas presents. We didn’t want to pack a bunch of stuff on the plane.” She smiles. “This will be our first Christmas dinner together as an engaged couple, and next Christmas I’ll be able to say it’s our first as husband and wife!” Her eyes glaze over to a deluded dreamy land and my skin crawls. Ben has my sister wrapped around his finger. She had a full ride scholarship to NYU, a fucking full ride, but somehow he convinced her to leave, move to Michigan, and start a life with him.
“We are in love, Drex, and sometimes love is worth the fight, even you have to make sacrifices.”
I told her she was crazy to leave, and if he loved
her, then he would have come here. But it went in one ear and out the other. She’s even more stubborn than Kelsa is, and if anyone in the family even breathes a word against their relationship, Kimberly freaks out and leaves. The last time she and I went at it about this guy, we didn't see her for eight months. My mother made me promise not to “cause a scene” this year, and let her learn from life.
“Maybe they will surprise us,” she said.
Yeah… not fucking likely. The only surprising thing will be me not putting my foot in his ass before they fly back home.
I follow Kim into the house moments later. All the familiar smells from my childhood surround me. Warm apple pies, gingerbread cookies, fresh pine from the Christmas tree and the cinnamon candles my mother lights every year. It’s familiar, it’s home. The sound of laughter echoes from the living room and I can’t help but smile.
“Drexel,” my mother says. “You made it.” She greets me with a warm hug and a cheerful grin. She's naturally a happy person, but this time of year, she's downright jolly. It drives my father nuts.
“Hey, Dad,” I say.
“Welcome home, son.” He nods from his place on the couch. The large living room is full of people. Many of our neighbors, friends, and their guests stand around the various drink and snack tables. Soothing music flows from the sound system as a few couples slow dance.
The Benton family is already here. Tara, her mother Amy, and her grandmother Helen. I hang my coat and greet everyone as I settle into an empty chair. The same people come every year and it's always a great time. This year, though, I have a lot on my mind and spend most of the evening hiding in the kitchen until my mother comes in carrying an empty cookie tray. “You ok, sweetie?” she asks
I'm on my third round of Jack and Coke, and from what I can see from my place at the breakfast bar, the party is starting to thin out.
“Yeah. I'm great. Just been a busy week.” She nods, placing the tray in the empty sink. Amy's voice rings through the space as she and Tara laugh at a story Greg, the old man who lives across the street, tells us every year. No one has the heart to tell him it stopped being funny three years ago. They both enter the kitchen minutes later probably trying to escape another one of Greg’s stories.