by S. M. Koz
“She didn’t have shoes on,” Brittany says. “I doubt she’d go that way.”
Dad makes a couple turns to keep us on the main route to town. With each turn, I get more and more concerned we won’t find her. How far could she have walked in such a short time? She’s got little legs and doesn’t seem to be all that athletic. Maybe Mom’s right and she’s in the woods.
Or maybe she’s with Chase and no one will ever see her again.
“We’ve gone too far,” I complain in frustration. “She couldn’t have walked this far.”
“I think you’re right,” Dad says. “Let’s backtrack.”
We follow the same route back home with the same result. Instead of pulling into the drive, Dad goes past the house and deeper into the subdivision. I think it’s useless, but I keep my mouth shut. It’s not like I have any other ideas.
“Go down the cul de sac,” Mom says. “If she took off through our backyard, she’d end up over there.”
Dad does as she says and only seconds later, the headlights land on the most fragile-looking person I’ve ever seen. She’s sitting on the curb of an undeveloped lot. Her delicate figure is hunched over and her shoulders shake, as if she’s sobbing. Her white socks are coated in dirt and brittle pieces of leaves. Pine straw sticks to her hair and shirt. Evidently, she did decide to hike through the woods, rather than stick to the road.
I let out a breath I’ve been holding since we got in the car. At least we found her. She doesn’t appear to be in great shape, but she’s here and not with Chase somewhere.
“Who should talk to her?” Mom asks Dad.
“This is related to something that happened during the movie?” he asks.
I nod.
“Then you two need to talk to her. Let her know it’s not the end of the world and whatever happened can be fixed. If you need help, just wave for me.”
Brittany and I ease out of the car. I try to shut the door gently, but it sounds like a gunshot in the otherwise silent night. Hailey has to know we’re here, but she hasn’t acknowledged us or even moved, other than the bobbing of her shoulders.
“Where’s Chase?” I ask, when we’re standing directly in front of her.
“How would I know?” she replies, wiping her face with the heel of her hand.
“You didn’t meet up with him?”
“No.”
“You weren’t planning on running away together?”
“No.”
“Did he rape you?” Brittany asks, sitting down next to her.
“What?” she asks, finally looking up. “No. He’s never raped me.”
“You wanted to have sex?”
Hailey opens her mouth and then closes it. Her eyes fall to the ground again and she shrugs her shoulders in a dismissive way.
“Did you tell him no?”
“No.”
“I’m calling bullshit,” Brittany says.
“I’m not lying.”
“If you didn’t want to have sex, then he shouldn’t have forced you into it.”
“He didn’t force me,” Hailey says, finally looking at Brittany. “You don’t get it. My life is different than yours—“
“If a girl says no, she means no. Don’t forget I’ve had your life. Rape is rape no matter who you are.”
“I didn’t say no. I’ve never said no. I’m always a willing participant, okay? He’s my boyfriend. I want to make him happy. I … enjoy it.”
Shit. We assaulted the guy for no reason. Funny thing is I don’t regret it. He did mess with my car last night. I can always pretend that’s the reason we kicked his ass.
“Doesn’t seem like you enjoyed it to me,” Brittany says.
“Just stop, okay?” Hailey says, standing. “It’s fine. He’s fine. I’m fine. It’s all fine and I will be out of your lives as soon as I can talk to Sherry. Can I use your phone, Brad?”
“What do you mean out of our lives?” I ask. “You’ve only been here two days.”
“I’ll get a different placement when your parents kick me out.”
“Why would they kick you out?”
She sniffs and wipes her nose with her sleeve. “Because I broke their rules.”
“They don’t know. And, even if they did, they wouldn’t kick you out. You’d be grounded and lose some privileges, but they’d never turn their backs on you.”
“They have no reason to stick by me and all my stupid drama.”
“I think the reason is they want to help. We all want to help.”
“I can’t stay here.”
“Why?”
She shakes her head, not wanting to talk about it. Even in the dim glow of the headlights, I can see her cheeks turn crimson. My mind automatically replays the compromising position I found her in. I can still picture her pants and pink underwear around her ankles and the red marks on her hips from Chase’s hands.
“I didn’t really see anything,” I lie.
“Right.”
“I was so angry at Chase, he’s all I could focus on.”
“I don’t believe you.”
I take a deep breath, not sure how to respond. After a moment, I decide to ignore her comment and say, “Don’t mess up a good thing because of this. It’s not worth it. Chase isn’t worth it.” I’m still not sure how she really feels about him, but I’m going to throw that out there. She has to realize he’s an asshole. Even if he didn’t rape her, he’s controlling, a criminal, and a drug user. Probably more. I’ve determined as much in the two interactions I’ve had with him.
“He’s the only one who’s ever stuck with me. He’s all I’ve got. ”
“He’s not sticking with you for the right reasons.” I take a step closer, resisting the temptation to try and comfort her with a hug. “Give us a chance. We’ll stick with you and turn everything around.”
She shakes her head. “How can I stay here if I can’t even look at you anymore?”
“You can look at me.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
I place my thumb under her chin and tilt her head up, but even then, she forces her eyes to the side, avoiding my face. Tears glisten at the corners and then fall onto her ruddy cheeks.
“Please don’t cry. It’s okay. I promise. This doesn’t change my opinion of you. You had sex with your boyfriend. That’s to be expected. It’s my fault for assuming something else. I shouldn’t have barged in there.”
I’m proud I successfully resisted a cringe as I said those words. I don’t blame her for having sex with her boyfriend, but her choice in a boyfriend disgusts me.
“You’re a good person with a bright future. Let’s go home, get a good night of sleep, and by tomorrow, this will all be a distant memory.” I hold out my hand, but she refuses it.
“I don’t have a bright future.”
“Sure you do.”
“This isn’t my life. I need to go back where I belong.”
I take another deep breath, this time to fight back the anger I have for the people who have so thoroughly messed with her. She doesn’t think she deserves anything good to ever happen to her. How could anyone do that to someone else?
“You belong here,” I say simply.
“No.”
“Damn it, Hailey!” Brittany yells, mirroring my own thoughts, but taking a much different approach. She slams her hands on her hips and continues, “Don’t play the helpless victim. You have a chance right now to make a change. Go home with the Campbells. Cut ties with Chase; he’s a loser. Graduate high school. Go to college. You and only you can turn your life around. I’ve been there. I know it’s hard and it seems impossible, but it’s not. You’re getting a second chance on life here. Grab it and don’t let go!” Her steadfast gaze meets Hailey’s. When Hailey tries to look away, Brittany shakes her shoulders. “Do you want to end up like your family? That’s all you need to ask yourself. If the answer is no, then forget everything about the past and focus on your future. This is a defining moment in your life. Don’t blow
it.”
I want to high-five Brittany, but keep myself in check, afraid it might scare Hailey away. I have no idea how she’ll react, but breathe a sigh of relief when her entire body begins transforming in front of us. Her spine straightens. Her shoulders pull back. Her chin rises. The hopeless, murky sea of brown in her eyes becomes clear and determined.
She’s stronger than I thought, and I’m surprised by the surge of emotion that wells within me. It’s a mix of my caveman instinct to protect and something much more unexpected. Not love or lust, but like. Extreme like. This girl has a shitty past and zero self-esteem, yet she’s determined to fight back. There’s something about that determination that really appeals to me, and I can’t stop my lips from spreading into an enormous smile at her transformation.
“Bring it in,” Brittany says, motioning with her hands and wearing a smile, as well. The three of us stand there, on the side of the road, in a three-way hug, as my parents have to be wondering what the hell’s going on. Luckily, they’re awesome. I know they’ll give Hailey a little time before trying to talk to her.
Chapter 11
HAILEY
“You up, Hailey?”
I hear Brad’s voice through my bedroom door and moan. I so don’t want to talk to him after everything that happened last night. The embarrassment I have over what he saw and how I acted when they found me feels like a freight train sitting on my chest. I’ll never be able to get out from under it, no matter what he says.
“Mom made pancakes, if you’re hungry.”
I am hungry and the thought of pancakes makes my stomach growl, but then I’d have to face everyone. Running away would have been so much easier, but I know Brittany was right. I do want to turn my life around. I can either keep saying that without acting on it like I’ve been doing, which will inevitably land me in Chase’s trailer, or I can take a stand, face the embarrassment, and move on to a better future.
“Can you say something, so I know you’re still in there?”
“I’m here,” I reply. Better future, I remind myself.
“Okay, good. We’re all downstairs, if you want to join us.”
Reluctantly, I rise. If I’m staying here, I’ll have to face them eventually. As much as I’m dreading it, it’s probably better to get it over with sooner rather than later. I run a brush through my hair, throw Brad’s old sweatshirt over my tank top, and rinse my face with some water, hopeful it will help wash away my crappy yesterday.
When I arrive in the kitchen, everyone is sitting around the table with not only pancakes, but also bacon, eggs, and orange juice. It’s a feast, really.
“Morning,” Gil says, pouring syrup onto his pancakes.
“Good morning,” I practically whisper, as I keep my eyes down and find my spot at the table.
“Would you like some juice?” Gigi asks.
I nod and she pours a glass for me.
“Have you heard back from the scout?” Gil asks Brad.
“Yeah, he called yesterday. They’re very interested, but said I’d probably be offered an academic scholarship, not a football scholarship.”
“Why’s that?”
“He said I have unusually high grades for an athlete. They’d want to save the athletic scholarships for those who really need them.”
“But you’d still be on the team, right?” Gigi asks.
“Yeah.”
Gigi passes a plate of scrambled eggs to me. “Help yourself, dear.” To Brad, she asks, “So, what do you think? Could you see yourself at Duke?”
“I’m not sure.”
“It’s a fantastic school,” Gil points out.
“Of course you’re going to say that. It’s your school,” Brad replies, rolling his eyes. “Both my parents went to Duke,” he explains.
I nod and spoon eggs onto my plate. I’m happy to see they’re more focused on Brad and his future than me this morning. All of my worry might have been for nothing. Maybe they will act like it never happened.
“They have a top-notch pre-med program and their football program is getting better every year,” Gil says.
“I know.”
“What’s your hesitation?”
Brad chews his food thoughtfully. When he finally swallows, he says, “I always thought I’d move away from home to go to college.”
“Duke is away from home. It’s two hours away.”
“An hour and a half. You’d be there every chance you got.”
“Bradley Nolan, are you trying to get away from us?” Gigi asks, pulling her hand to her chest like she’s totally offended, although her smile gives her away.
“You know what I mean.”
“Yes, we’d go to all your games, but we’re not going to show up at your dorm unexpectedly, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Gils says. “You will get the full college experience and all that entails without interference from me or your mother. You’ll be free to make your own mistakes and learn from them.”
Brad rolls his eyes again. “This is the psychiatrist coming out,” he says, nudging my arm with his elbow. After taking a gulp of juice, he continues, “I need to think about it and see what the other schools have to say.”
“Of course,” Gigi responds. “So, what are your plans for the day, kids?”
“Homework,” Brad says.
Then, they all look at me. The only homework I have left is geometry, and I’m not sure any more time will help me there. Of course, I don’t have anything else to do, so I reply, “The same.”
“Do you need help with geometry?” Brad asks, as if reading my mind.
“No, you’re busy. I’ll be fine.”
“I’ll be done in a few hours and can help you.”
“Oh, okay. Sure,” I mumble, moving eggs around on my plate. I do need the help and I don’t want to seem unappreciative, so I feel I have no choice but to agree.
The rest of the meal is more chitchat between Brad and his parents. Gil and Gigi have some fundraising golf event to go to in the afternoon. Then, they discuss where to travel during the holiday break at the end of the year. Brad tries to sell a Caribbean cruise, but his parents are leaning toward skiing in Colorado. I’ve never been out of this state, let alone this county, so it all seems a bit extravagant to me. I do wonder what they’ll do with me while they’re gone, though. I don’t have the guts to ask them, so I decide to wait and talk to Sherry about it.
Overall, I’m happy no one mentioned what happened yesterday. If we never talk about it, then eventually I’ll forget. Brad is acting exactly the same, so maybe what he said is true. Maybe he really didn’t see anything. At this point, I think I’ll have to go with that assumption in order to feel somewhat normal around him.
*****
“Want to do something fun?” Brad asks, standing up.
I close my geometry book, surprised what would normally take me four hours, only took one with his help. He hasn’t been in the class in three years, but immediately knew how to do every single problem. He really is a math nerd.
“What?” I ask, standing up next to him.
“It’s a surprise, but I guarantee you’ll like it.”
“You guarantee?”
“Yeah.”
We exit his room and start making our way downstairs.
“What if I don’t?” I ask.
“Then I’ll think you have a heart made of stone.”
Now I’m really intrigued. What are we going to do and why is he so convinced I’ll enjoy it?
An hour later, I find out. We’re at an animal rescue, but it’s not a typical rescue place for cats and dogs. No, it’s for tigers, lions, cougars, and every other massively large cat you can think of.
“Brad!” a middle-aged woman screeches as soon as we walk through the door of the main building. She races over to us, her curly hair bouncing with each step, and hugs him. “Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in weeks.”
“I know. Sorry. Between school and football, I haven’t had much time. This is
Hailey, my new foster sister. Hailey, Jill. Jill, Hailey.”
“Nice to meet you,” Jill says, holding out her hand.
“Likewise,” I reply, shaking it.
“How’s Tasha?” he asks.
“About the same. Still anxious around almost everyone. I’m sure she’d like to see you.”
“I’d like to see her, too. Do you mind if I show Hailey around?”
“Not at all. Just stay clear of the new pen on the west side, down by Kaela. We rescued two leopards this week and they’re still jumpy. They need peace and quiet for a bit longer.”
“Will do. Thanks for the heads up.”
We walk down a hallway, stop in another room where Brad grabs a set of keys, and then head out a back door.
“Okay, what’s going on?” I ask, totally overwhelmed by the last few minutes. Who knew this place existed not even fifty miles from where we live? And how the heck is Brad involved?
“What do you mean?” he asks, unlocking a gate and leading us toward a field dotted by enormous chain link pens.
“What is this place and why do you walk around here like you own it?”
“I’m not walking around like I own it. I’m walking around like I’m a volunteer.”
“You volunteer here?”
“During summers and occasional weekends. I tried during school last year, but couldn’t do it. It’s too far of a drive with everything else I’ve got going on.”
He veers right to follow a dirt path that separates rows of pens.
“So, what exactly is this place?” I ask, following behind him. “Some sort of zoo?”
“No. It’s a big cat rescue,” he says, glancing down at me.
“What’s that mean?”
“You’d be surprised by how many people have big cats, especially tigers, as pets, either legally or illegally. When they can’t deal with them anymore, which inevitably happens, this place steps in and rescues them.”
“How many do they have here?”
“Last I knew, seventy-five, but the number’s probably changed since then. There’s my girl,” he says, tilting his head toward the enclosure at the end of the path in front of us. “They brought her in when I was working one day. She was scared of everyone, but came right up to me. I don’t know why, but she seemed completely comfortable around me.”