Liam blew out a breath and ran his fingers through his hair, his usual habit when he was working something out.
“Yeah, he’s always been inside himself. As close as all three of us were in college and on the field, he’s never let Sean or me in on personal stuff. I think he’s got issues.”
“I’ve come to realize everyone has issues,” I countered.
He brushed my hair behind my ear. “Yeah, they do, Hellcat. But I’m not going to give him a pass on issues or his social status with us. His job comes first. Our security comes first. Social circle or not, he gets a handle on all of this, or I find someone else.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
“Okay,” he answered with a kiss to my head.
* * *
The week after Liam got back from his trip found us both snowed with work and playing catch-up. I took a personal day off from work on Friday to catch up around the house, and to check in with Liam’s staff to prepare for two speaking engagements I’d finally agreed to.
Finishing up at home, I’d sorted through some shirts and dress slacks Liam had left piled in the floor in our room. With my arms full of laundry and toys, I slowed down as I passed through the entry on my way to the laundry room. A small brown envelope sat propped against the vase on the table in the foyer, as if it had been hand delivered and placed there. I frowned, because no one had been home this morning but me and Masen. And I was almost positive it hadn’t been there last night. Intrigued, I dropped the armload of laundry in a chair and moved to pick it up. It was addressed simply to “Kelly Covington.” I unclasped the flap and opened it. As I turned it over, a USB stick fell out, along with a four by six cardstock notecard.
Whore…
Secrets are destructive to a political career –
secrets as dirty as you are. What will it take to
keep them secret? Only you know, Kelly. You
don’t belong with him. Leave him, or you
destroy his dreams. The press would be
interested in a motive for murder, don’t
you think?
My hands shook as I picked the stick up. I hurried to Liam’s home office and sank down into the chair at his computer. As the info loaded from the USB, an audio file appeared. Swallowing my fear, I clicked on it. At first, faint white noise came through, and I could hear someone sniffling, as though they were upset.
“You don’t have to do this,” a male voice said hoarsely.
A female whispered, barely audible. “It hurt. I fought him, and kept him from penetrating. But he came in my room more and more, and I couldn’t fight him anymore. After I went to Aunt Debs, I thought the nightmare was over.”
I sucked in my breath, the bile rising in my throat as my stomach turned over. The audio was a recording of the night I confessed to Liam Senator Reeves attacked me, and the resulting pregnancy and abortion. As I sat, listening in horror, the voices droned on.
“I began to get sick. I thought it was the flu at first, but it just… wouldn’t… stop.”
“Oh Kel, no.” Liam’s words were a tortured moan.
“I went to Aunt Deb, and she took me to the doctor. I was three months along when we found out.
I slammed the lid shut on Liam’s laptop and jerked the USB from the port. Clutching it to my chest, I stared into space, running over the words in the note in my head. “Secrets are destructive to a political career…secrets as dirty as you are.”
My mouth watered as the gag reflex overwhelmed me. Running to the powder room off the kitchen, I barely got to my knees before my breakfast came up.
Someone else heard me share my darkest secret.
Someone out there had a recording of my private shame.
I’d shared it with Liam, trusting him and his heart to keep it close and protect me. He was the only living person who knew, or so I’d thought.
I moved in a fog, finishing dinner and getting Masen down for his afternoon nap. Masen was fussy—unsettled and restless. His mood matched my own. I was still trembling with nausea. It was useless to think I could put it all behind me. All I wanted was some peace. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to make Liam happy. I wanted to make a safe, carefree home for Masen and the new baby—a life not tainted by my past. As I lay across our bed, Masen lying restless against my shoulder, I rubbed his back and whispered a lullaby I remembered Aunt Debbie singing to Dana Rae and me when we were little. He finally stilled, dropping into a peaceful sleep. I watched his eyelids moving rapidly. He would occasionally whimper or grin; he must have been having a vivid dream. As I lay gazing at him, it hit me how fiercely I loved this little guy. And we would be having another one soon. I felt fear and anxiety for this new life…a fear I couldn’t explain. As much as I’d try to fight it, I still felt unworthy of being a mother. I worried about Liam’s family’s expectations. And being a good mother seemed to be the least of those expectations. No matter how hard I tried to be the perfect politician’s wife, something ugly came out.
I moaned as I turned and looked up at the ceiling. First, there had been the unplanned pregnancy we’d had to announce early in our marriage, fueling the speculations the pregnancy had been the reason for our hasty marriage. Then Liam’s grandfather’s less than warm welcome into their family at our reception, and his disdain for my obvious lack of breeding. Following shortly behind was the wardrobe debacle at his first big fundraiser, and the revelation of how much Liam’s old-moneyed connections thought of me – a gold digger with no class. Add to that my running from the fundraiser, only to wreck my car, causing rumors I’d been drinking too much. Never mind there was no alcohol found in my system at the time of the wreck. That revelation had been buried on page ten of the Austin American-Statesman. And now the note and audio tape. By confessing everything to Liam, I’d given him a motive for murder. Of course, Liam fighting with Reeves the night Reeves shot me was self-defense. Liam didn’t think the gun going off and shooting Reeves was accidental – he thought Reeves knew it was over, and he chose to take his own life. But I knew Liam’s enemies and political foes might try to spin it differently.
But who could have recorded our conversation? Who would send it? I could think of any number of people who might want to sabotage me, but not Liam. It could be one of his adversaries at the Capital – maybe something to do with the border bill. But this seemed personal. The note was aimed at me. What could they want from me, aside from leaving Liam? Texanne and her friends would surely be overjoyed if I did. Liam’s grandfather would be, too. But I couldn’t see either one of them risking Liam’s political career to accomplish it. If it was one of them, they would never go through with it. I went over the note again.
It was as if the note writer was in my head. I could have written that note. After all these months since I’d tried to put my past behind me, I was back here. Liam put his ring on my hand and professed his love for me. He’d bought this beautiful house for me and Masen. He’d adopted Masen and made him ours. And I still couldn’t make myself feel clean or worthy. The need to run was always there. No matter how many sessions I had with Dr. Hallie, I still fought the urge to flee. And my greatest fear was Liam would finally become sick of me running and let me go.
Whore. That was the same word in the text from my old boss, Dan, when he’d vandalized my parking space at work. Whore. That is what the intruder at our apartment had called me, right before I’d shot him in the toe of his boot. The attacker at the Spa had gritted it out in my ear, then Senator Reeves had used the same word when he’d held the gun on me and Liam.
A montage of memories I’d buried deep came back at me full-force.
Masen stirred, turning his face toward mine. I could smell his sweet baby breath and it calmed me. Knowing I needed to cherish these moments, I shut my eyes, holding tight to my sister’s child -– my child. Mine and Liam’s child. I couldn’t bring myself to move him to his crib, so I curled around him and drank in his sweetness, finally drifting off to sleep, too exhausted to think anymore.
“Mmm. You’re warm,” Liam nuzzled my neck from behind, his arms sliding around me. I smiled and turned into him.
“What time is it?” I whispered, slowly working the cobwebs from my brain. “Where’s Masen?” I gasped, my eyelids popping open.
“Calm down, Baby. Miranda is with him in the den, feeding him cookies and entertaining him with the baby elephant video he loves. And it’s just past six,” he finished, stroking my cheek with the back of his hand. “Are you tired?”
“A little.” I smiled up at him. “I guess there is something to the pregnancy hormones and the tired bit. I didn’t mean to sleep so long; I feel asleep when I got Masen down.”
“You deserve a nap. You’ve been working too hard, trying to keep up with social events, public appearances, working with my campaign staff…not to mention keeping your job at Austin design.”
I nodded. “I know, I haven’t been going in to my office enough,” I started. Liam pulled away and frowned, shaking his head.
“Not what I meant, Kel. You’ve been doing great, and your department is the only one Stuart says he doesn’t worry about. But I wish, for your sake, you would quit.”
I shook my head in protest.
“I know you don’t want to, but at least consider taking a leave of absence. My family owns the company, damn it. You can return to the same position at any time. You will want to take some time when the baby comes anyway, right?”
I glanced back up at him, realizing he made sense. I did want to take time off when I had the baby to spend with both the kids. I knew it would be time I’d never be able to get back, and I wanted to make the most of it. I remembered the note and USB drive from earlier. Still clutched in my hand, I slid the envelope under my pillow. It was another complication I needed to deal with, and I had no idea how to do that. Maybe more time was what I needed.
“Okay,” I whispered with a quick nod of my head. I buried my face in his neck.
“Okay? Really…just like that? I’ve been begging you for weeks,” Liam said, incredulous.
“I know. I was being stubborn. I know it’s the best thing for all of us, especially you. I wanted to hang on to my independence a bit longer. I worked hard to get there, in my job,” I reasoned.
“You did, Baby. I’m in awe of you. But you know what? You fought to get your degree all by yourself. No one can ever take it away. You made it on your own, but now you are my wife, and the mother of my child with another on the way. There is no greater role. You know how proud I am of you, right?”
I nodded, taking in his scent. He always smelled great, the clean scent of his starched shirt, the faint scent of his cologne, mixed with the smell of his skin…a smell that was all Liam. All man.
“Yes, I know. Thank you for believing in me. I’ll tell Stuart when I can get in to see him and follow up with something in writing – let him know I’ll be taking a year off.”
Liam moved to sit up, pulling me up with him. “When is your next doctor’s appointment?” He reached to brush a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. I knew my hair must be a mess. I pulled the rubber band loose and ran my fingers back through, pulled the mass up, twisted it, and secured it in a loose bun on top of my head. Liam grinned and then plucked a strand back loose to play with.
“What?”
“I love to play with your hair when it’s all mussed,” he said, twirling it around his finger.
“Next Tuesday afternoon.”
“What?”
I rolled my eyes. “Focus, Covington. My next doctor’s appointment is next Tuesday afternoon.”
He chuckled. “Right. Call Meg, and make sure she takes note of all scheduled visits. I want to make as many as I can,” he said.
“Your schedule is getting tighter, Senator. That might be a bit tough.”
“I’ll make time. You and our kids will always come first.”
A now familiar feeling washed over me. It was the same feeling I had every night when I heard Liam reading Dr. Seuss or the Mercer Mayer books to Masen at bedtime. That feeling I got when Liam would rub my back, or bring ice cream to me in bed. I felt loved…as if I finally had a family of my own.
I had that warm moment, and it was fleeting, because thoughts of the note crept in. I stiffened, my heart rate picking up.
“What’s wrong, Hellcat?” Liam asked intuitively.
Should I tell him about the notes and the recording? Should I tell the therapist? Liam would go crazy, and he didn’t need the distraction right now. I couldn’t ignore the threats. The cost was too great.
Liam waited, his eyebrows drawn as he searched my face. I was going to have to get a lot better at hiding things if I was going to shield him from anything.
“Nothing. Just still trying to wake up. I’m in a bit of a fog,” I said. “And I didn’t thaw anything for dinner,” I added, trying to distract him.
“Hmm…how about I order us a pizza and have it delivered. Problem solved. After we get Masen down, we can have a little time to ourselves,” he murmured, nuzzling my neck as his voice vibrated down my throat.
“You sure?”
“Absolutely. No cooking means more time with you. That’s a good thing, Baby,” he growled, sliding his hand up inside my t-shirt.
“Okay, you talked me into it,” I replied. “But you’d better make that call while I go see about Masen, or we’ll never leave our bedroom.”
He stopped, removed his hand and grinned at me. “Go. But promise me, eight-thirty – you, me, the hot tub and the lights out.”
I rose and moved to the doorway. “Deal.”
And it was a date we were both glad to keep.
Chapter Twelve
I loved bedtime with Masen. The only thing I loved more was giving him his bath. Our little man loved the water, and the ritual seemed to calm us all. It was also quite entertaining, especially with Liam in charge.
“Where are his toys?” Liam asked, kneeling on the bathroom floor beside me. I was struggling to get Masen’s diaper off as he tried to climb over into the tub, his chubby legs not quite long enough yet to throw over.
“In a basket under the sink,” I answered over my shoulder. With the diaper finally off and tossed in the diaper pail, I picked our giggly, drooling son up and sat him down in the shallow bubbles. Squealing, he bicycled his legs, sloshing water about as he grabbed at the small rubber ducks and boats Liam tossed in with him.
“Leave room for the baby,” I said, laughing at my man. He turned after returning the basket to the cabinet, sitting Indian-style in the floor beside me. He’d stripped out of his own shirt, only a pair of torn jeans remaining. What the hell was it about torn blue jeans and bare feet that was so sexy?
“What?” he asked, smirking.
I realized I was staring. Busted. My cheeks grew warm. After all this time, I still got embarrassed at the silliest things. I guessed it was the inferiority complex from which I suffered. Remembering, I changed the subject.
“Um, I was wondering. About your grandfather.”
“Tex? What about him?” Liam said, squeezing baby bath out on a washrag.
“Has he always been like he is?” I asked off-handedly.
Liam turned to me after he’d soaped Masen’s back and squeezed the rag to rinse the soap off. “You’ll have to be a bit more specific.”
“He’s intimidating. Did you spend time with him when you were little?”
He relaxed back against the wall before answering. “Yeah, before Nanny Mae passed away. Ethan and I would go with Momma, and we’d spend the weekend at the ranch. Tex taught me how to ride.”
“Really?”
I couldn’t picture Tex on a horse with his grandsons. I couldn’t picture Tex doing anything with his grandchildren. When Liam spoke again, it appeared he’d read my thoughts.
“Yeah. Hard to believe, even for me, now. He took us out camping on the ranch, once. He even took us swimming in the creek in our underwear! We came back to the main house the next morning
, muddy, covered in chigger-bites and loving every minute of it. Nanny Mae and Momma had a fit, and hosed us down in the yard and covered us in calamine lotion. They swore we’d get sick from all those bites, but Tex just laughed and said he was gonna make men out of us.”
I retrieved several toys off the floor and dumped them back in the tub. Masen giggled at the opportunity to throw them over the side again.
“You used to have fun with him. When did he change?”
He blew a breath out, then focused on me, tilting his head. “I guess after Nanny died. He was never one to show affection in public, with her or any of us. He’s always been hard as stone that way. But Momma always said Nanny was his whole world, and his reason for building the ranch. Nanny almost died when she gave birth to Momma, and Tex swore they’d never try to have any more children. Momma said he was always protective of her.
“And he took it hard when she died?” I asked, the story of Tex’s persona coming clearer.
“Yeah, he did. Nanny was diagnosed with breast cancer. Back then, they didn’t do the routine mammograms like they do today. By the time she found the lump it was too far gone and had spread to other parts of her body. Tex flew specialists in, took her to MD Anderson…and even flew her to Switzerland to try something experimental. He blamed the doctors for not finding her cancer sooner. And he hasn’t been to a doctor since.”
“Wow, Liam. I had no idea. That’s sad.”
“Yeah. He’s been mad at the world ever since. The only time I ever get a glimpse of the old Tex is when he’s with Momma or Allison. They both resemble her, you know.”
“Who, your Nanny?”
“Yeah.”
“Then she must have been beautiful,” I said softly. The memories I’d drawn out of him seemed to make him sad.
“She was. She was petite and delicate, and had a natural grace about her. Her family was old Texas money. Nanny was an only child, and Grandpa Marley wanted her to go to the best schools possible. They sent her to Hockaday and UT, back in the day when most women in Texas didn’t even finish high school.”
Texas Girl Grit Page 11