Texas Girl Grit

by Shelley Stringer

  “Do you have a boyfriend?” I asked, thinking maybe a boy or crush influenced the way she dressed.

  “No,” she said adamantly. Her response was clipped, her body language closing in on itself. A chill ran through me as I recognized the symptoms. I’d lived them. Suspicions about Allison and the way she acted most of the time began to take hold.

  “Would you try this on? I love it, but it won’t look great on me right now with my belly,” I asked.

  Allison turned and took the gauzy brown and black blouse from me, fingering the lace running between the layers as she considered it.

  “I think it would look great with jeans and boots. Try it on for me, please?” I asked.

  “Sure,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.

  When she disappeared into the dressing rooms, I pushed a sleeping Masen in his stroller to the sitting area. This was good. Discussing clothes was a good way into her personal space without my being too intrusive. She was beginning to open to me, and I didn’t want her to shut down. She emerged slowly, her head down as she approached me in the sitting area.

  I was right…the top was cute and breezy on her.

  “That is you. It’s flirty and feminine but goes great with the torn jeans.”

  “Yeah, it would be great on you,” she murmured, looking up at me. She fingered the lace as she turned to look in the three-way mirror.

  “It’s great on you, Allison,” I whispered, close to her shoulder.

  She looked up at me, directly into the mirror, her eyes haunted and full of pain. I drew a breath in.

  “I’d never wear it.”

  I had my answer. I didn’t know how to get her to tell me what had happened to her.

  “Why not, Allison? I’d love to buy it for you,” I offered.

  “No need. I don’t wear things like this.”

  I watched her reflection in the mirror closely. Her eyes rose, and as she looked at herself, her gaze rising from her torso to her face, my stomach churned at the hatred and self-loathing I saw in her eyes.

  “Allie? You know, you can talk to me. I know how it feels.”

  Her eyes shifted to gaze into mine in our reflection. “What?” she whispered.

  “Being violated. Being ashamed. It happened to me too, a long time ago,” I whispered carefully.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  And she shut down. She hurried back into the dressing room without a word.

  After the chime of the bell at the front of the store, I heard Chelsea and Ellen’s voices.

  “Kel, are y’all in here?”

  “Back here,” I called, standing to wave them back. Ellen waved as they both made their way back to me. Just as they joined me, Allison emerged from the dressing room, slapping the curtain back against the doorframe and barreling toward me. She dumped the blouse into my hands as I grabbed my purse. She spoke not a word as she huffed back toward the front of the store and exited to the sidewalk and hurried the direction of our SUV.

  Ellen turned toward me, her eyebrow raised in question.

  “I think I pushed the wrong button,” I murmured guiltily.

  She patted my hand. “Don’t fret, sweetie. She’s been more herself the past couple of days here with you. I don’t know what you’ve done, but we’re thankful for that. She likes you, or she wouldn’t open up. Give her some time.”

  I nodded, and made my way to the register at the front of the store. I bought the blouse and hoped I’d opened a window at the same time.

  * * *

  Although Allison had shut me out after the blouse incident, she did seem to come out of her mood after lunch, and enjoyed the rest of our shopping trip. We found a vintage clothing store that intrigued her so much we had to drag her out at closing time, although I couldn’t talk her into buying anything there, either.

  On Saturday, Liam took his parents, Ethan and Allison hiking to Enchanted Rock, while Chelsea and I stayed at the farm to rest with the kids. As I lay watching Masen sleep on our bed, goosebumps rose on my arms as I thought about how perfect our family weekend had been. I loved Liam’s family, and it was almost a dream come true sharing my childhood home with them. Almost.

  But I couldn’t shake the uneasiness Tex’s threat caused. I couldn’t fully enjoy the rest of our stay. I knew my perfect world was about to implode, Tex’s warning playing over and over in my head. The more I thought about it, the more I was convinced he was the one who’d sent the recording along with the first note, or at least he knew who’d done it. I needed to tell Liam. He was aware of Tex and how he treated his family, but somehow, I was worried Liam wouldn’t believe the worst about his grandfather. He even had Tex working with security on the bugs in his office. What if he didn’t believe me, a repeat of his disbelief about Texanne’s catty conversation I overheard at the fundraiser?

  * * *

  With our families back in Austin after the holiday weekend, Liam buried himself in meetings, driven to make up the time he’d taken off to be with me and his family.

  He worked late several nights after we returned home. He often came home after I’d gone to bed. It was easy to use his absence and the distraction of getting ready for the holidays as excuses to avoid telling him about Tex.

  I found myself alone again at bedtime a week later, curled up on our lonely bed, both wishing he’d come home before I went to sleep, and hoping he wouldn’t. I dreaded giving him more distressing news, and I knew if he did believe me, he’d be annoyed I’d kept Tex’s threats a secret for almost two weeks. I’d been jumpy, thinking every phone call or piece of mail would be the next threat, but nothing had happened.

  My cell phone chimed beside my bed, alerting me to a text message. It would be Liam, apologizing for working late again. I sighed, reaching for it and swiping the screen. The brightness of the screen disoriented me for a moment until my eyes adjusted. The text was from an unknown number. Thinking it was probably a response to one of the many speaking engagements I’d agreed to since joining Liam’s team, I hit “download.”

  A video popped up.

  My pulse sped up, causing me to flush as I watched the naked back of a woman, her head thrown back, moaning. “So good, don’t stop. Please, don’t stop, Baby.” Obviously in the throes of an orgasm, she continued to moan, grinding down, riding as a naked man pulled his legs up, his hands squeezing her hips as he thrust into her…

  A gasp escaped my lips, the realization as the woman’s head turned slightly, as if to gaze at the camera…it was me. The woman in the video was me.

  Before I could react, the video darkened, and a message popped on the screen.

  Sex tapes will come back to haunt you

  every time. They’ve been known to destroy

  political careers. Texas will never put a

  man in the Governor’s mansion whose

  wife is in a sex tape. Leave, and the

  tape stays between us. Stay, and Liam and

  the entire world see the whore in action.

  Tex won’t go that far, but I will.

  The sudden rush of saliva in my mouth and my gag reflex had me rushing to the bathroom. After emptying the contents of my stomach, I closed the lid and shakily reached to flush. I jumped as a warm hand met mine, reaching the lever before me.

  “Baby, are you sick?” Liam asked, kneeling behind me and stroking my hair.

  “Yeah,” I replied weakly. “I had a late dinner, and I guess it didn’t set well. I’m a bit over tired.” I met Liam’s gaze, noticing his tie hanging loosely around his neck, his button on his collar undone. Dark circles underlined his eyes, highlighting nights spent away from home. He stood, reached to grab a washcloth and wet it under the sink. Turning back to me, he folded it gently across my forehead.

  “Feel like standing?”

  I nodded, taking his hand as he pulled me from the floor. He let me back to the bed. I panicked, remembering the phone laying there with the video playing. But the screen was dark. I let out a relieved br
eath as I picked it up and placed it face down on the nightstand.

  “Sorry I’ve been so late these past few nights,” he said, moving around the bed as he undressed. “I think I’m caught up. Just in time, too. Christmas is around the corner. We’ve got toys to put together for Masen, and we’ve still got the dinner you and the girls planned here at the house next week, right?”

  I’d glanced worriedly back at the nightstand, wanting desperately to make sure the message and video weren’t still on my screen. I realized Liam had asked me a question. My eyes snapped back to him in the dim light.

  “Sorry, what?”

  “The dinner. The one you planned for the girls and Sean and Scott,” he urged. “If you aren’t feeling up to it,” he began.

  “Right. Yes, it’s still on. I’m going to get Angela and Miranda to help me with the menu. I won’t overdue, I promise.”

  Liam crawled under the sheets, pulling them around us as he drew me into his side.

  “You’ve been tired, Kel. You haven’t looked good since we came back from our trip to the farm. When is your next doctor’s appointment?”

  “The week after Christmas,” I answered, distracted.

  “I want to go with you this time. Be sure and call the office and confirm we have it on my calendar. You also need to remind me the day of,” he added sternly.

  “I will,” I whispered.

  He was exhausted. His breathing evened out, a soft snore beginning only moments later. When I was sure he was completely out, I eased out from under his arm, slipping from the bed as I grabbed my phone. Hurrying down the hallway, I crossed the house to the first guest bedroom and into the adjoining bath. I closed the door, locking it, then sank down on the closed toilet seat. I dreaded what I would see on the screen but I wanted to find answers. I clicked on the message again. As I watched the video replay, I was horrified to realize I could easily tell the woman was me, but I couldn’t easily identify Liam. And that was absurd. I knew it had to be him, but his moan sounded much deeper than his voice in real life. And his skin seemed darker. There was a dark hue to the walls in the background. It made no sense. It didn’t resemble Liam’s hotel suite we’d spent so much time in before we got married, and it wasn’t our bedroom, either. There was nowhere else we’d been. I frantically watched the video over and over, searching the background for anything I could identify. Everything was blurred out.

  I knew I hadn’t been with anyone but Liam. Not since college and my old boyfriend. It was Liam in the video, but someone had voiced over his moan. The video had been altered, darkening Liam’s skin and concealing the background. It was retouched in a way that almost made me question it, so would Liam? There was no doubt everyone else would.

  And even if there was no doubt the man was Liam, it looked as if we’d made a sex tape.

  I sank to the floor and dropped my phone. There was no spinning this. There was no silver lining to find, no angle to work into a speech at a ladies’ luncheon. I could never show again in public if the video was leaked online. I felt as violated as I had at fourteen when Reeves had raped me.

  Someone had watched me naked.

  Some unknown person had watched as my husband and I had sex.

  My stomach turned over now at the thought of sitting down with Liam and having the talk about Tex and his threats. My eyes watered, my gut clenched as I imagined handing him my phone to share this latest threat.

  I was devastated. To do what Tex and this other blackmailer was asking, to leave Liam now, was unthinkable. But I was determined. I was much stronger than I was before I married Liam, but I knew if this video of me naked were ever leaked, having an orgasm on camera, it would destroy me. I’d never recover, and neither would Liam’s political career. I had to talk to someone. I needed to know how much time I had.

  Chapter Twenty

  T he next afternoon I spent video conferencing with Liam’s campaign managers and Texanne. I’d finalized a calendar for the next two months, scheduled speaking engagements, dinners and photo ops for the two of us, and gone over a strategy for dealing with the press. Reporters and photographers had picked up their game, and we were ambushed at every turn when we were in public. I didn’t understand the obsession they seemed to have with us. Liam was only a State Senator, not a U.S. Senator. But Texanne had laid out a plan as if she’d interned for the President and First Lady. She seemed determined and professional, and although still wary of her, I decided whatever Liam had said to her after dress-gate had worked. I knew she still wanted Liam and envied me as his wife. But if she worked this hard on his campaign I could overlook some jealousy.

  Just as I placed a slumbering Masen down in his crib, I heard my cell chime in our bedroom. Hurrying in to grab my phone, I answered it breathlessly, not even pausing to look at the screen.

  “Hey, I got your message. Are you at home?” Tana asked. I’d called and left her a voice mail, telling her I desperately needed advice. I had to talk to someone, and I was finally going to trust Tana with my secrets.

  “Yeah, just got Mase down. Miranda’s in her room studying, I can get her to watch him. Can you do a late lunch?”

  “Yes, but I’m coming to you. Almost there, can you make us a sandwich?”

  “You bet. See you in a few,” I said, ending the call. Tana had heard the desperation in my voice and she’d dropped everything. God, I loved the woman. I ran to the kitchen and barely had our sandwiches made before I heard her at the door. I left everything I’d assembled on the kitchen island and dashed to let her in.

  “Geez, I didn’t even ring the bell,” she said, dropping her purse and jacket on the bench in the foyer.

  I grabbed her in a hug. She hugged me back, squeezing me and then releasing me. Pushing away, she studied my expression.

  “You’re not usually the affectionate type, Kel. What’s going on?”

  I sighed, wishing I’d told her more about my past before now. “How long do you have?” I asked, pulling her into the kitchen.

  “All afternoon, chick. I still have lots of unused personal time, so I told the office I was taking the afternoon off. Thought I’d go surprise Sean after our chat.”

  “I think we’re going to need all afternoon,” I admitted, urging her to sit at the table at the window overlooking the pool. Leaving to grab our plates, I returned to her, placing hers in front of her. “Eat, I’ll talk.”

  And I did. I filled her in on the parts of my childhood I’d left blank up till now. I spilled the secrets about Senator Reeves, and how he’d molested me and raped me when I was a young teenager. Revealing to her he was the one who’d gotten me pregnant when I’d had the abortion was the most emotional moment. She rose, pulled me into her arms, and we cried together.

  We moved our tear-filled session to the living room, and sitting across from her on the sofa, I let the rest spill. I told her my fears about the press getting in on the spin of Liam’s involvement in Reeves death, and the threat of releasing the rapes as a motive for murdering him, fueling the old rumors. I told her about all the threats we’d received since we’d been married. At my admission Tex was most involved in the blackmail by his own admission, she ran her hands through her hair in disbelief.

  “Why would Tex purposely try to sabotage Liam’s campaign? It doesn’t make sense.”

  “I don’t think he wants to take it that far. He wants me gone, and he’s threatening using all of this if I don’t leave Liam. Something makes me think this has gotten out of his control, and he’s scared.” I handed her my phone, clicking on the video to let her watch and the warning.

  As she watched, tears gathered in her eyes. When it was over, she touched the screen, and dropped the phone to the cushions between us. Shaking her head, her eyes rose to meet mine, her expression incredulous.

  “You made a sex tape?” she whispered.

  “What? No! Of course not,” I said, hurt she’d come to that conclusion. And then it hit me. If she immediately thought that, knowing Liam and me as well as she di
d, everyone else would likely react the same or worse. No one would believe me.

  My voice shook with emotion. “The video was taken of us, but we had no knowledge. I’m not sure, but I think it was taken while Liam was still living at the hotel. They did a good job of masking his voice and blurring the background.”

  “That’s Liam?” Tana asked, seemingly skeptical.

  “Of course it is!” I thundered, rising from the couch. “I’ve never willingly been with anyone else except him and my college boyfriend,” I said, throwing out my hand. “But if you don’t believe me, no one else will either!”

  Tana rose and grabbed both my hands in hers. “I’m sorry, Kel. I believe you. It’s just, you looked back at the camera and smiled before you reached down with your hand,” she whispered.

  Yeah. That’s what killed me too. I’d smiled back over my shoulder as if I was looking right into the hidden camera, just as I’d reached my hand down, obviously touching myself.

  It clicked in my head. I remembered the exact afternoon. If the video had played out, Liam had told me when I touched myself, using my fingers to press the magic spot to make myself orgasm faster, it turned him on so much he always came with me. There had been music playing on his phone. He’d placed it behind us on the console beside the TV across from the bed. I’d glanced back at it as a perfect song had played, the lyrics perfect for our lovemaking.

  “The camera must have been close to the iPhone dock,” I whispered, turning from her to gaze out the windows. “At least now I remember. I looked back at his phone as the music changed.”

  “That makes sense. The music had just changed in the video.” She moved to rub my back. “I’m sorry, Kel. I, of all people, shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions about you.”

  “I’m the last person who could make a sex tape. I can’t even,” I said, stopping on a sob.

  “Can’t even what, Kel?” she urged, continuing to rub my back in support.