Texas Girl Grit

by Shelley Stringer

  “I can’t even try all the positions Liam wants to. He tried once, you know, holding me face down on the bed, wanting to play. I can’t. I can’t do that. Reeves ruined that for me. Liam knows he can’t hold me down, from behind,” I continued to whisper.

  “Shh, sweetie, I know,” she murmured, wrapping her arms around me. I turned to her abruptly.

  “This tape can’t get out, Tana. It can’t. It took everything in me to show it to you. I can’t show it to Liam,” I said, the panic in my voice rising. “I can’t! And if anyone else sees it…oh, Liam, no.”

  The panic attack struck me full force. My knees buckled, my vision fazed to black. The next thing I knew, I was lying on the couch, Scott peering down at me as Tana held a wet cloth to my forehead. My heart raced, seeming to stumble in its rhythm as it struggled to keep beating. For a moment, I thought I was having a heart attack. I rubbed my chest, willing myself to calm down.

  Then confusion set in, upsetting me even more. I switched my gaze from Scott back to Tana, trying to figure out what we were doing. What did I say to Tana? Why was she here?

  “Do you need to go to the hospital, Kelly?” Scott asked gently, touching my shoulder.

  Hospital? I reached down and covered my belly with my hands. I could feel the flutters I’d been feeling now for several weeks, obviously the baby moving around. My heart continued to pound, but the jumps and flutters that marred the regular beats had subsided, and I was breathing easier.

  “No, I think I’m okay,” I answered.

  “We should call Liam,” Tana said. Scott nodded, pulling his phone out. When Tana mentioned Liam’s name, bits of the moments leading up to now began to filter in. My confession to Tana, her holding me, watching the video…

  “No!” I cried out, pushing up from the sofa. My sudden outburst thundered in my head, making me realize this, whatever it was, had brought on a massive headache.

  Tana stood and pulled me to her, rubbing my arms and trying to calm me. “Kel, you were talking to me one minute and on the floor the next. You were upset. Since you’re pregnant, I think we need to take you to get checked out.”

  Scott had already dialed, his phone to his ear. “Liam, hey. Thought you’d want to know, Kelly had some sort of spell, she apparently fainted…Yeah, okay. No, she doesn’t want to go,” I heard him answer.

  “Kelly?” Tana asked again.

  I was upset. Our conversation before Scott came in came back to me full-force. I knew this was all nerves. First I was throwing up at the thought of the tape and threats, now I was fainting.

  “Just…walk me back to my room and I’ll rest. It’s the baby, hormones and all. Throw in a bit of nerves and this is me,” I joked, waving my hand down my body. Tana’s eyes switched back to Scott as he clicked his phone off.

  “Liam cut his meetings short. He’s on his way home. I’ll warn you, he’s not happy you wouldn’t let us take you to the doctor.”

  “I’m fine, Scott. Tana’s going to take me back to our room to lie down for a bit.”

  “I’ll stay with her till Liam gets here,” Tana added. On Scott’s nod, Tana turned me and, with a hand on my back, followed me down the hallway to our bedroom.

  She shut the door behind her and turned to watch as I pulled the bedspread back and crawled in. Hands to her hips, she walked toward me, sighed, and sank to a spot beside me. Her hip was planted firmly against my belly as I curled around my pillow. She brought her hand to caress my cheek, wiping a tear with her thumb.

  “You’ve been through so much, honey. I can’t imagine how hard all of this has been. You’ve held all that awful stuff close, shielding yourself, and shielding everyone else from it. But none of this has been your fault. At least tell Liam about his grandfather’s threats at the farm. He needs to know Tex is probably the one behind the audio recording.”

  “I don’t know if I can,” I began.

  “The video is another issue. It came after, and because of what Tex said, no doubt he knows about it too. You need to show Liam,” she began.

  “I can’t,” I whispered.

  “Kelly, he’s going to know it’s the two of you. He deserves to know you were videotaped. Let his people deal with it.”

  “But your first reaction,” I interrupted.

  “Was just that. I was taken by surprise. But he was there, Kel. He’ll remember the music, and will probably remember the same conversation you did while we were watching it again. Don’t take this on yourself because you are afraid to show it to him.”

  “I don’t know,” I began.

  “The longer you wait, the angrier he will be you kept this to yourself. You know how he is,” she reminded me. “What are you afraid of?”

  I didn’t hesitate. “That he will get sick of my past constantly being something he has to deal with, and he’ll decide I’m not worth it,” I whispered, closing my eyes.

  Tana leaned over to brush her lips across my forehead, whispering “That’s not possible. You are so worth it.”

  The door opened a few moments later.

  “Kel?” Liam called, dropping his jacket in the chair inside the door.

  “She’s good,” Tana murmured, then turned back to me. “I’m gonna go now that he’s home. Call me later, okay?”

  “Okay,” I whispered.

  She rose, meeting Liam across the room. “I think she had a bit of a panic attack. She says it’s partly pregnancy hormones.”

  Liam pulled her into a hug. “Thanks for staying with her and getting Scott to call me.”

  “No problem. Take care of my bestie,” she said, kissing his cheek.

  “Always,” he answered. After Tana closed our bedroom door, Liam turned to me, pulling at his tie to loosen it.

  “I called your doctor. He wants to see you first thing in the morning. I’m going with you,” he announced, taking the spot on the bed Tana had vacated.

  “Really, I don’t think,” I began.

  “Putting my foot down, Hellcat. After today, I’m not taking any chances. You’ve been stubborn with all these spells you’ve had. I caught you last night having a spell on the bathroom floor.”

  I pushed up against the pillows. “Honey, pregnant women get sick all the time. It’s called ‘morning sickness.’”

  “Past that stage. You’ve been having too many episodes, and it doesn’t hurt to get it checked out. We’re moving your appointment up, so humor me.”

  His worried expression upset me. “Okay, I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  He shook his head, then leaned to kiss me. It wasn’t just a kiss. Liam, in serious mode, was hot. And his kisses when he was in alpha, protective mode were molten. Both his hands held my face as he took my lips, his mouth covering mine in possession. I opened to him, his tongue dipping in, teasing mine as he dominated the kiss. He was letting me know, with one show of affection, he was in control and he’d take care of me.

  “Nothing to be sorry for, Baby.”

  “You’re busy right now. And I know you have a speaking engagement tomorrow,” I argued.

  “Already cancelled. Some of what I’m doing right now is overkill. And you come first, Kel. I’ll be good after we see the doc in the morning and he says baby boy Covington is right on schedule.”

  “Again with the boy talk,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.

  He stood, walked to the closet and disappeared for a moment. I could hear him opening drawers and then the clink of his buckle on his dress slacks.

  “By the way, when do we get to find out how big my son’s junk is? I know he’ll take after me,” Liam said cockily through his t-shirt as he reappeared wearing torn jeans, his feet bare.

  “Liam! I can’t believe you said that,” I scolded.

  “Just saying.”

  He sank back down beside me on the bed and reached out to touch my cheek. “You still don’t feel good,” he murmured.

  “My head hurts,” I admitted.

  “You take anything for it?”

  “No. I came in
here to rest before you got here.”

  “I’ll get you some Tylenol. Then I’ll check on Masen, and we’ll see about getting some dinner.”

  “Okay.”

  “And, while I do that, you grab that pad you’re always doodling on in your nightstand and list everything that’s been happening with you. The vomiting, the leg cramps you had at the farm that night…this episode today. Anything you think of, you better tell him tomorrow. Or I will,” he stated, leaning in for a kiss to my forehead and leaving the room.

  And I knew, with him dropping everything to worry about me once again, I couldn’t bring the video up. I’d worry about it tomorrow after my doctor’s appointment.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  L iam took total control of the appointment. He could have gone without me if there had been a way to get around the examination.

  “And she’s not sleeping. She tosses and turns, gets up in the middle of the night and wanders the house.”

  He’d gone down my list I’d made the night before, and he’d embellished it. Seems he’d catalogued every time I’d even sighed too hard in his brain, to be retrieved to use against me.

  “And you say you think you had a panic attack yesterday? Has this ever happened before?” Dr. Fisher asked, writing in my chart.

  “Yes, it has,” Liam answered for me. “The first time was on our honeymoon when the reporters swarmed us at the beach during our reception. She went down then. Then, after the speech at the luncheon,” Liam continued.

  “I don’t think that qualified as a panic attack. That would have happened to anyone,” I cut in.

  “Kelly, you’ve been anxious through the whole pregnancy. You have to be truthful with the doc, don’t hold anything back,” Liam cautioned.

  I’d shared my past with my obstetrician at the first checkup after my initial diagnosis of pregnancy. He knew my emotions ran high with our first baby, considering the decision in my past to have the abortion after the rapes I’d endured.

  “He knows, Liam. I told him,” I whispered. I could feel all the blood rushing out of my face. The doctor looked up at us, his expression softening at my reaction.

  “Pregnancy can be a time of great emotional change for women, often producing increased stress and anxiety. Changes in estrogen levels can be extreme. These changes can exacerbate emotions and psychological factors can cause anxiety disorders. Expectant mothers worry about the baby’s health, the changes in lifestyle, and her own ability to be a good mother.”

  He looked to Liam and back at me. “For some women, pregnancy may recall painful events in their lives such as what you’ve experienced. It’s not a surprise you are experiencing some form of anxiety. And the fact you two are under a microscope with Liam’s political career certainly add to that.”

  “Is there something we can do? This can’t be good for her or the baby,” Liam demanded.

  “Let her take a more passive role in your campaign. I know you can’t reign in right now, but she needs to. Lots of rest,” his eyes cut to me, “and we can prescribe a mild anti-depressant.”

  “I didn’t think she could take anything with the baby,” Liam interrupted.

  “The benefits to her health far outweigh any side effects, or any affect it might have on the baby. Anxiety can increase the risk of preeclampsia, fetal abruption, fetal distress, and the incidence of C-section. If we can avoid those, it’s worth the risk.” He smiled at both of us, then said, “Now, for the fun part. Let’s get you down to the sonogram tech.”

  * * *

  “Did you buy all these books?” I asked, overwhelmed by the stack of catalogues Liam scattered on the bed around me. He’d insisted, when we came home from the doctor’s appointment, I go on bed rest for a couple of days. Those were Liam’s orders, not the doctor’s. I complied. I knew it was overkill, but he seemed delighted he was doing something for me. He’d taken the rest of the day off, although his phone pinged messages constantly.

  I picked one of the books closest to me. The pages were filled with beautiful, high-end baby furniture, crib mobiles and wall hangings designed to match, designer comforters and blankets. Every design was more beautiful than the last.

  “We already have nursery furniture. I thought we’d move Masen into a toddler bed in another room and decorate it for him.”

  “Nope. Masen stays where he is, for now. If we need to put him in a toddler bed, we’ll order it. But this,” he said, flipping another book my way opened to the most beautiful pale pink and yellow room I’d ever seen, pale white-washed pine furniture beneath a canopy of twinkling stars, “is what I want for our little Marley Belle.”

  Not once, since we’d left the doctor’s office, had he called her “the baby.” He’d unlocked my SUV, helped me in, kissed me on the forehead and whispered, “Marley Belle Covington.”

  “Really? Her middle name after my grandmother?”

  “Yeah, unless you don’t like it. And Marley was my Grandma Whelan’s maiden name. Mom always wanted to give the name to one of her kids, but I guess she didn’t have enough of us.” He chuckled, then continued, “Have you thought of any names?”

  I grinned up at him, loving the moment I’d realized he’d secretly been thinking girl names all along.

  “Not really. I had a couple of boy names because you were insisting. But I love naming her after family. Marley,” I whispered.

  “I love both names together…Marley Belle.”

  And Marley Belle it was. His whole demeanor had changed. He seemed more protective than ever, now we knew I was carrying a girl. His daughter.

  I looked up from the book. “You’re not disappointed? You wanted another boy,” I said, searching his eyes.

  “Are you kidding? No way. She’ll be so beautiful, her mother’s eyes, her mother’s hair…I’ll be a mess. I can’t wait to hold her,” he said, his hands coming to rest on my swollen tummy.

  “Me either,” I whispered, my eyes filling with tears. “I’m glad we decided to find out the sex. Now she’s real.”

  “Yeah,” he breathed, laying his head down in my lap, checking to see if he could hear her, his knees up, bare feet resting on the bed.

  * * *

  At Liam’s insistence, I stayed on bedrest for two days. On the third, I’d just gotten Masen down for his nap after wrestling on our bed with him. His eyes closed as I heard voices drift down the hall.

  “I know she would want me to wake her, it’s fine,” I heard Miranda through the door as she pushed it open. “Hey,” she said, smiling at me as I pushed up from the pillows, “your girls are here. Are you up for a visit?”

  “Sure.”

  My day brightened as Sunni, Tana, and Jen piled in on me, their voices cheery and upbeat. Upon seeing Masen, however, they quieted, Sunni “shushing” them.

  “I’ll take him and get him settled in his crib,” Miranda offered, raising him gently and settling him on her shoulder.

  Sunni moved to sit where Masen had been resting beside me, while Tana and Jen sank down into the chairs by the windows opposite our big bed.

  “What are y’all doing here?” I asked.

  “Checking on you, Momma,” Sunni answered. “Tana told us you are having panic attacks. We are worried about you!”

  I hung my head as a shook it..

  “I’m sorry, but I thought I needed reinforcements! You won’t listen to me, so we are staging an intervention,” she said defensively.

  My heart skipped a beat and resumed at full-throttle. They were all three looking at me as if they already knew everything. I turned to glare accusingly at Tana.

  She returned my glare for a moment, then sighed and held her hands up. “I had to. I didn’t show them the sex tape,” she added hurriedly as I sucked in a breath, “but I did tell them some of your history before you met us.”

  I looked to Jen, who had tears in her eyes.

  “Sweetie, why didn’t you say anything?”

  I took another deep breath. “I’ve always had to keep it close. And
I’ve never felt I could share any of it, until now,” I whispered, looking back at Sunni as she reached to take my hand in hers.

  “We’re here to take your back. First, you’re going to do something about all this stress. Then, you’re coming clean with Liam about this blackmail business!” Jen cried, her expression pleading.

  “No! I mean, I’m working it all out in my head first. I have to be careful because I don’t want to set the blackmailer off. If they release that tape, Liam’s campaign can do damage control for him, but there isn’t enough PR in the world to help me,” I said sadly, shaking my head.

  They all looked to one another with doubtful looks.

  “Liam knows enough about my stress he made me go to the doctor. He’s prescribed something for me to help with that, and as you can see,” I said, motioning to the big bed piled high with comfy comforters and pillows, “I’m on forced bed rest by Liam, not the doctor,” I finished.

  “Well, that’s good,” Jen said. “But the fact you are keeping this blackmail crap to yourself is going to stress you out. If you don’t deal with it soon, we will.”

  “Jen,” Tana warned.

  “And Sunni and I are now on the case. Send the video to me and copies of the notes and recordings you’ve received.”

  Sunni nodded in agreement.

  I snorted as I tried not to laugh. The thought of the two of them sleuthing was entertaining.

  “Laugh it up. But I have professional connections at UT, and I can have those notes analyzed.” I could tell by the determined expression she was dead serious.

  Sunni chimed in, “And my father has the connections too! Gurus of technology for the making of the film in pieces,” she jumbled words excitedly.

  Jen gave Sunni her classic eye roll as she corrected her statement. “Her father has people who can analyze the audio and video, break it down, and catch things we can’t.”

  “That’s sweet guys, but I don’t want anyone else to see it,” I said, emotions grabbing hold of me as I thought of anyone else watching the video.