by Dana Moss
She scratched at her throat. She swallowed dryly and coughed once. The bottle rolled into the puddle and started bobbing. She reached for it, was about to take a drink, when she thought twice. Todd had given her the bottle. Had he given one like this to Tyler too? Had Tyler been forced to drink it because he felt like she did? As if she had a bucket of pea gravel in her throat? Tyler and Todd, two peas in a pod. But they really couldn’t have been more different.
Taffy had the water bottle open now, and she was desperate to drink, but what if this was what contained the overdose amount of pills that would do her in? She shouldn’t drink it, even though she felt like someone was paving her insides with hot tar.
This bottle could be evidence. If she managed to survive.
Which seemed unlikely, since the bottom of the boat was full of water already. She needed to start bailing. But all she had was the bottle. If she poured out the contents, she’d lose the evidence.
If only she could swim…
She’d drifted quite far already and could barely make out the cabin now, but she heard voices on the shore. Arguing tones, pleading tones, but the words themselves were indistinct. Shadows, also growing indistinct, moved on the shoreline. Then the cabin lights went off suddenly.
A minute later, she heard a gunshot.
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
Taffy felt sleepy, and her limbs were heavy. She scooped up water with her hands and started throwing it overboard, but there was more water coming in than she could scoop out. She was up to her knees now. She tried calling out for help, but her throat was too dry. Her voice came out in a hoarse whisper. Why hadn’t she ever learned to swim? She felt so stupid now. Not just for not learning how to swim but for everything about her silly, shallow life. For being jealous of Melanie, for thinking she had any skills helping with murder investigations, for being stupid enough to row across a lake in the middle of the night to confront a potential murderer all on her own. Ethan had given her the benefit of the doubt when he’d said she was brilliant about some things, but not all. Still, he’d overestimated his assessment.
Everything was still now. The owl hooted ominously. Taffy tried to keep her eyes open. The back of the boat filled nearly to its brim. With a glug, it dipped below the surface of the lake.
Taffy went under. The water enveloped her in blanket of cold, dark wetness. She waved her arms against the weight of the water, kicking her feet against its downward pull. Ethan wasn’t here to pull her up into the boat. Not that the boat was anywhere around to be pulled up into anymore. Taffy’s arm waving and kicking had propelled her to the surface, where she took a deep breath. An arc of light swept across the surface of the lake. It momentarily blinded her and then swung away. Was it coming from the cabin? Since going under water, she was all turned around. She’d heard a gunshot, hadn’t she? What had happened? Had Todd shot Cara to shut her up? Or had Cara gotten hold of the—
She went under again. The initial shock of cold water had jolted her from sleepiness, but her limbs were still heavy. No matter how much she flailed, she could barely keep her chin above water for more than a second or two. She didn’t have much energy left. Ethan’s words of admonishment came back to her. “What would you do if I wasn’t here?” But as she flailed and coughed and rose and sank—drinking in gulps of water unintentionally, which helpfully calmed her dry, ravaged throat but also threatened to drown her—she interpreted his question more broadly, as in, what would she do if she lost him? What if Ethan wasn’t there at all? What if Taffy died right here, right now and never saw Ethan again? Her heart, before stopping, would surely break. It would be a most unbearable pain, unlike anything she’d ever felt before, because she’d never loved quite this much. She’d loved her mother this much and lost her, and that childhood heartbreak would always be with her, but this love was different. Her love for Ethan was a choice. It was a choice she had to make every day. And it was a choice she hadn’t been making very well lately, as if it didn’t matter as much as it did, as if, by questioning this choice, she could somehow protect herself from some raw, unforeseen hurt that might be out there somewhere, on some distant horizon, some hurt around losing Ethan that was somehow worse than not loving him at all. But as Taffy took her last breath, aware of a distant light drawing closer and seeming to call out to her to go to it … to go to the light… she realized that not loving Ethan would be the worst hurt in the world, and if she could just be given another chance, another chance to choose, she would choose loving him even if it meant getting hurt, rejected, made fun of, or ignored. Her last thought—as a light so bright it might as well have been the sun approaching her swiftly across the water—was of choosing Ethan, choosing love.
She said yes to the light.
She closed her eyes and went under for the last time.
And then she felt something choke her. Pressure against her throat and shoulder, a slight backbend, and then her face was up and out of the water, and there was splashing and a light flickering and arcing and dipping and strong fingers digging into one of her shoulders and her other shoulder being hugged tightly. She was being dragged backward. Her legs lifted. She heard a voice yelling, “Kick! Kick!” Even though her limbs were weak and she was still coughing up water, she kicked. She wiggled her feet like paddles and helped to push back to shore. “That’s it,” said the voice. “Just relax. I’ve got you. We’re almost there.”
It was a voice she recognized. “Mel?”
“It’s okay, I’ve got you. You’re going to be all right.”
Her body moved strongly under Taffy’s, pulling them both back to shore. They splashed and stroked and kicked to the swimming area by the campground. They dragged themselves along the silty bottom and stood up, shivering. When Taffy looked at Mel, she couldn’t see her face at all, it was just a burst of light, until she reached up and pulled the headlamp from her forehead.
Taffy coughed and spluttered. “How did you know I was out there?”
“I heard a gunshot. Are you hurt?”
“It wasn’t me.”
“I used my flashlight to scan the water and saw you splashing.”
Taffy saw a large utility flashlight higher up on the beach.
Mel squeezed out her hair. “I saw the boat was gone from the boathouse, so I swam out to get you.”
“That was some good swimming.”
“When I was younger, I trained with the Olympic swim team.”
Taffy dropped weakly onto the sand. “Why does that not surprise me?”
When Mel sat on the sand too, Taffy said, “Shouldn’t we be calling the police?”
“Already did. Soon as I heard the gunshot.”
“Ah.” Taffy nodded. “You think of everything.”
“I don’t actually.” Mel leaned back, crossed one leg over the other knee, and stretched out her back. “There’s a lot I still don’t know, things I’m trying to figure out. I really don’t know how we got off on the wrong foot, Taffy, but when I first met you, I was kind of hoping we’d be friends.”
Taffy wrapped her arms around her legs to keep herself warm. She could hear sirens in the distance now.
“That was my fault. We got off on the wrong foot because I kept putting my foot in my mouth. I misjudged you, Melanie. I’m really sorry about that.”
“I’m actually used to that. A lot. All my life actually. Back in California, growing up in Wisconsin.”
Taffy said quietly, “I know, Mel.” She reached over and put a hand on Mel’s knee. “I know what happened.”
“What do you mean?” There was a catch in her voice, a nervous apprehension. “What exactly do you know?”
“I know all of it. I know your name wasn’t always Melanie, it was Melvin, and that you used to be a—”
Mel jumped up and started picking up her flashlight and headlamp. “I knew it! I knew this place was too good to be true. I thought I’d finally found a town that I could call home, but now—”
Taffy jumped up and grabbed her arm. “You
have. Abandon’s your home. You don’t have to go anywhere.”
“But…”
“I won’t say a word. Ethan knows, doesn’t he? And it doesn’t seem to bother him.”
“He swore he’d never tell anyone.”
“He didn’t. I found out on my own.”
“How did…”
“I’m not proud of myself for how I found out, but the thing is, you seemed too good to be true and I was… Frankly, I was jealous beyond belief—”
“You were jealous of me?”
Taffy nodded. “And up until recently, I was trying to come up with ways to drive you out of town.”
“You can now. If you just told everybody what you know about me.”
“I’m not so sure if they’d judge you as harshly as you think. At least they shouldn’t. But they sure would judge me. I have no right to undermine your attempt to start a new life here. You’ve already done so much good for this town.”
“Too much? Did I try too hard?”
“Yeah, maybe a little too much. You might want to pace things out a bit.”
“I still don’t really know how to be a … Like this. I think that’s why I was hoping we would one day be friends. You’re, like, perfect.”
Taffy snort-laughed.
Mel flinched at the sound. “Well, almost perfect.” She grinned.
Blue and red flashing lights bounced off the dark trees as two cruisers pulled into the campground. Their high beams landed on Mel and Taffy on the beach. Maria jumped out of Lucy’s patrol car.
“You two all right?”
They both waved and said, “Fine.”
Taffy added, “You’ve got to get a car over to the Bradford cabin.”
Maria held a walkie-talkie in her hand. “Malcolm and the chief are there right now. So is Ethan.” She pointed at Taffy’s hand. “What have you got there?”
Taffy had forgotten. Ever since the rowboat had sunk, her cold fingers had been numbly clutching a plastic water bottle. She held it up now.
“Evidence,” she said with a smile.
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
Taffy soon found out that Chief Green and Officer Malcolm Peck had entered the Bradford cabin with guns drawn. They said they found Cara sitting, shaking, on the couch and staring into the empty fireplace. She looked up when she saw them and then pointed at the French doors, still open, leading to the porch, lawn, lakeside, and dock.
At the water’s edge, they found Todd, the gun in his hand, a bullet wound in his temple, apparently self-inflicted.
By the time Maria, Taffy, Mel, and Lucy had driven over to the cabin, an ambulance and the medical examiner were arriving.
Ethan was speaking to Chief Green, but when he saw Taffy, he rushed over. He fingered the ends of her hair. “What happened to you?”
“I’m embarrassed to say.”
He gathered her into a warm embrace.
“Something woke me up. A car backfiring or something. And I saw that you weren’t there. I thought maybe you went home. But the Blue Bear was still parked. So I checked the bathrooms first and tried your phone, but it was still in the tent. I drove over to the ranger office to see if you went there, and I found the lights on, and Mel’s Jeep, but neither you nor Mel. I noticed the boat shed was open, and I didn’t know what to think then. I couldn’t reach Mel on her phone either. Then Maria called me to say she was over at the Bradford cabin after getting a call about a gunshot. My heart’s been racing ever since.”
“I’m sorry I left without telling you.”
“I’m just glad you’re okay.”
“Thanks to Melanie.”
They looked over at her. She smiled and saluted them both.
Malcolm had placed Cara in the backseat of his patrol car.
“Can I talk to her?” Taffy asked him.
He nodded.
Taffy, wrapped up in a blanket taken from Lucy’s trunk, knocked on the backseat window. Cara turned her head slowly. She seemed to be in a daze, probably shock. It took her a moment to recognize Taffy, but when she did, she offered a weak smile and nodded. Taffy opened the back door. She sat on the edge of the seat, leaving the door open.
“Are you okay?”
Cara’s hands cupped her abdomen. She nodded. “I’m so sorry, Taffy, I had no idea…”
“It’s all right. It’s over now.”
“I was a fool for letting things get out of hand with Todd. I was desperate, sick with wanting a child, feeling ignored by Noel. I’ve got no excuse. They were simply moments of weakness.”
“He played his part, too, Cara.”
Taffy had pieced it together now. All along, Todd had been being abused by his stepmom, but he’d grown used to the routine by the time he got to high school and met Tyler. Tyler must have offered hope of a normal family to Todd, and when Tyler’s parents separated, it was in his best interest to keep his alternative family as happy as he could. Taffy guessed his original intentions had been good, pure even, but the unnatural relationship with Rita had damaged his psyche, and he saw Cara in a different way. And Cara had succumbed to an inexcusable moment of weakness.
Now, she dropped her head dejectedly. “If I had only known, I never would have… He wasn’t well, I see that now. It wasn’t natural. But he was so loving and seemed so much older than his years.”
“And you’re still young, Cara. Young enough to be tempted.”
“I might not have been old enough to be his mother, but I could have been his babysitter! And he was my stepson’s friend! You can’t strip me of my shame and humiliation.” She ran her hands up and down her thighs, a worried, repetitive rubbing. “Oh God, what will Noel say when he finds out?” She turned to Taffy. “Does he have to find out?” Cara searched Taffy’s eyes, perhaps looking for some kind of salvation.
“You both have some confessions to make. Enough damage has been done. It’s time for you both to tell the truth.”
“Our relationship can’t survive the truth. Not now. He’s going to leave me for Shannon now, I know it.” She gave a short bark of a laugh. “He won’t want me. He won’t want this child.”
Taffy thought of Todd, so desperate to have some version of a normal family, in his skewed perception of what that might be, that he was willing to kill for it. And die when he realized he couldn’t have it.
“Did he really shoot himself, Cara?”
Cara blinked, looking at Taffy incredulously. “You think that I…?” Her eyes narrowed shrewdly. “You really think I’m capable of something like that?”
“You told me we were friends. You said you trusted me. But you weren’t truthful with me.”
Her jaw clenched, with regret or determination, Taffy couldn’t tell.
“So you’re still going to make a case against me now?”
Taffy shook her head. “Enough damage has been done. Enough lives ruined. And no, I don’t think you’re capable of something like that.”
“I had no idea what Todd had been through with Rita. That’s the truth. And I had no idea that one night with him, that one mistake, a grievous slip in judgment, would lead to such horrible consequences. Yes, Tyler had found out about it. And that I was keeping the baby. He’d always wanted to ruin me, and now he could do it.” She pulled her jacket tightly around her trembling shoulders.
“Maybe Todd was trying to protect me. I don’t know. That night, he insisted I meet him at the cabin for a final conversation. So I came back early from the spa. Tyler somehow found out and figured that Todd and I were meeting. He confronted us at the cabin, and I really thought Todd had talked sense into him and he’d gone back to his friends. Until the next day. Until Noel called me and told me the news.
“And then yesterday, before he left to go back to Eugene, Todd finally said he was going to leave me and Noel in peace. And I was going to tell Noel about the pregnancy, until you came over…” Cara tucked her arms tight around herself. Her tone grew quiet and cold.
“Then Todd called last night and said he needed to see
me one more time. He told me to meet him at the cabin. So I told Noel I needed a break and was going to go back to San Diego for a few days. But then Todd arrived with the gun.” Her voice caught in her throat. “And I thought he was going to kill me and the baby, but I made him think we could work something out so no one else would get hurt again, but he knew I was lying. He knew I wanted him to go away and leave me and Noel alone.” She paused for a breath. “I think he may have intended to kill himself the whole time.”
Tears suddenly burst from her eyes. She held her face in her hands. “I don’t know why he did it. I was telling him it would all work out. That we’d work something out. I just wanted him to calm down and give me my phone back so I could call the police before, before… anything happened to you.”
She rubbed tears from her cheeks but kept talking.
“I said we’d get him some help, that it wasn’t fair what Rita did to him, that he could have a good, normal life. He didn’t seem to like it when I brought up Rita. He asked me if I really would let him raise this baby with me. And… and I didn’t know what to say. I just stared at him, and I think he saw something in my eyes, fear maybe. Fear of him, fear of what was happening, and I think he read the hopelessness there, my desperation to calm him down. To say anything to get him to put the gun down. So I said yes, we could go away together.
“And he did calm down. He did. He got quiet and soft, and he smiled. A very peaceful smile. He told me to go into the cabin and get a blanket. He said we should look up at the stars together and think of baby names and where we would live together. So I did what he told me to and went into the cabin, because I needed to get away from him, but before I knew it, the gun went off.”
She started sobbing.
A paramedic came to check on Cara, so Taffy got out of the car and joined Maria by the cabin.
“You all right?”