Suddenly he grabs my arm hard, jerking me around. “He sent you something here?”
“No, he gave it to Nana who mailed it to the mail stop. Quit being so paranoid.” For our safety the location of the mansion is top secret, like shooting you for knowing top secret. Not even my grandmother knows exactly where I live.
“Oh.” Will releases my arm. “What did he send you?”
“A book of poetry by the Brontes. It was really sweet of him. I don’t know how he found it. He is so thoughtful,” I say with a quick smile.
Will prickles, the corners of his mouth twitching. The exact reaction I was hoping for. “Why is that vampire sending you expensive gifts?”
“It’s my birthday, Will. Even vampires give presents to people they care about on special occasions.” I spin back around and continue up the stairs.
For a moment he stays put, but then follows me up again. “Have you had contact with him since Christmas?” Will asks, all business now.
“He sent some flowers and asked me out a few times, nothing major. I turned him down.”
“But he believes we’re still a couple?”
“Hence why I turned him down. Though that trip to London was mighty tempting.”
“He invited you to London?” he asks, shocked. “Maybe I should give him a call. Tell him to leave my girlfriend the hell alone.”
“If you’re going to do that over London, you also might want to threaten him. A lot. You know, for kissing me and all.”
Once again he takes my arm and twirls me around. “You kissed him?”
“No, he kissed me. I only kissed him back for like a second.”
“Why the hell would you do that?” he asks, more hurt than angry now.
“Because he’s handsome. And he helped me. And it was nice to be wanted by an uncomplicated man. But I told him in no uncertain terms it would never happen again, and I haven’t seen him since. Because of you.” I pry his hand off my arm and start walking again. “Though if you keep acting this ornery, I might begin to think you’re not worth missing a trip to London with a gorgeous millionaire for.”
We continue the rest of the way to our rooms in silence. He opens his bedroom door, and we walk in. It hasn’t changed since the last time I was in here. Still masculine with blues and greens. The bed is unmade with the covers bunched up at the end. Someone had a fitful sleep last night. I’m about to shut the door when he says, “Leave it open.”
“Why? Don’t trust yourself?” I ask with a smirk.
“The locks are on the outside.”
“Right.” Duh.
He picks out a gray shirt from his dresser. “I need to change. My kit’s in the desk.” He walks into the bathroom and shuts the door.
I open the desk drawer where a small brown pouch rests on top. When I pick it up, what lies beneath jars me. Without thinking, I pick it up. His wedding ring. It’s nothing fancy, just a gold band, but a pang of sadness socks me in the stomach. Poor Mary Price. Would she like me? Is she looking down at me getting together a ghost posse to haunt me because she thinks me unworthy? I never met the woman but certainly feel a kinship to her. Not just because I want to bed her widower, but because from what I can glean, she was a good woman with a lot of love for Will. Something we have in common.
He never talks much about her. All I know is she was a nurse working in Washington, DC, and they were married ten blissful years. A picture of Mrs. Price stares at me from his dresser right now. She was tall, thin, and beautiful with olive skin, dark brown eyes and matching hair. Twins we are not. Then all that beauty was literally ripped apart. What would she—
Crud.
The bathroom door opens, and I quickly toss the ring back into the desk. I hold up the kit. “Got it!” I snap the drawer shut. That was too close.
Since I continue to find myself kidnapped and in locked rooms, I actually do want to learn this skill, so I’m on my best behavior as he instructs me how to use the tools, a paper clip, and a bobby pin to unlock a dead bolt, handcuffs, and even the desk lock. I’m a quick study. Forty-five minutes of alone time where after a demo, Will patiently stands by while I try. Where his voice never changes from that of authority. Where he refuses to touch me, even when I need him to when I hold the bar incorrectly. Where one time, the only time he got within two feet of me, he bent down and his hot breath on my neck made me goosepimply all over. The lesson winds down with us on his bed and me in handcuffs, though not in the way I’d always envisioned it. He sits on the edge across from me while I fiddle with a paperclip inside the lock. One minute of sheer frustration later, the left side pops open. Much faster than last time, but faster still…
In my boredom while I was recovering from surgery, I began experimenting with my power. One can only watch so many episodes of Law and Order after all. Before my experiments I used to have to see or visualize the object or person I was moving, or at least be in the same room with it. Now, if I know something is there I can bring it to me as long as I concentrate and know the path I want it to take. In this case, I know the machinations of the handcuffs and the lever used to keep the bar in place. I press down with my mind and the right cuff unlatches. “Ta da!”
“I think your way is quicker,” Will says.
I hand him the cuffs. “Good to know both. My way only works in certain circumstances, yours works all the time.”
He collects the tools and rises, walking over to the desk, and putting them back inside. “I suppose.”
Guess the lesson’s over. Time for our next class, Seduction 101. I lie on my stomach facing him, rest my hands on my fists, and raise my legs at the knees. “You’re a good teacher, you know.”
Will turns around, shocked for some reason, his mouth opening a little. “Um, thank you.”
“No, thank you. It was fun.” I bite my lower lip. I read in Cosmo this drives men wild. “So. What should we do now?” I ask with a mischievous smile.
The scowl resurfaces. “I’m sure you have plans.”
I roll onto my back. “Not until tonight.” With my head over the side, I stretch like a contented cat. “We have all day.”
“Bea…” he scolds, annoyance growing with each letter.
“Yes, William?”
“Will you please get off my bed now?”
“I don’t think so. I’m quite comfortable here.”
His glower ticks up a notch. “You promised you wouldn’t do this.”
I flip back onto my stomach. “No. I promised not to bring up you mauling me last night. And I haven’t. I said nothing about not flirting with you. I would never promise that.”
He folds his arms across his chest. “You know, you sounded exactly like Oliver right then.”
“Did I? Good for me. It is best to learn from a master.”
“Guess he never got around to teaching you the definition of stupidity. It’s up to me then. It’s doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”
Be it his snotty tone or the rebuff itself, righteous indignation courses through my veins, forcing me to my feet on the opposite side of the bed from him. “Huh. Silly me, but I seem to recall getting a different result last night. And in the hospital. Oh, and in mobile command at Christmas.”
“You kissed me then,” he says.
“But you kissed me back. And I pulled away first that time.”
The scowl is replaced by a momentary twitch. “We’ve gone over this.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m chaos incarnate, and you’re pushing me away for my own good, and blah dee blah. Just because you keep saying it doesn’t make it true, Will. The truth is you’re afraid, and you want to punish yourself, which is beyond ridiculous!” I throw my hands up. “You didn’t kill your wife, Will. You becoming a werewolf is not some divine punishment for not being there when she needed you. It could have happened to anyone, you just drew the short straw.”
“You know nothing about it, Bea, so shut your mouth.”
“I know this: you’re no
t honoring your wife by acting like a zombie. Because that’s exactly what you’re doing. Going through the motions. Not embracing life and love when it’s offered to you. That’s just…sick and wrong. And you look down on Oliver? He may be undead, but you’re just a walking corpse who hasn’t caught on he’s dead yet.”
“So why the hell do you want me?” he shouts. “If I’m a zombie, then,” he stammers, “then-then why the hell can’t you just leave me alone?”
“Because I love you! Haven’t you figured that out yet, you asshat?” I shout back.
Okay, not the way I intended to impart that life changing information. Crap.
My hands cover my mouth, and my eyes bug out as much as his do. We let those words hang between us for a few seconds, me mortified and him shocked into silence. This is bad. This is so bad. I can’t talk first. He has to say something, even if it breaks my heart. And he knows it. “You don’t love me. You can’t.”
I remove my hands. “But I do. I have for months.”
“But you can’t,” he insists through gritted teeth, almost disgusted by this notion. “I—don’t do this to yourself.”
“Too late. It’s done,” I say, shrugging my shoulders.
He can’t look at me. He can’t focus on anything. His eyes jut around the floor, the walls, in search of an answer. Every second of silence drops another boulder into my stomach. I was wrong. Everything I thought was wrong. He doesn’t want me, at least not the way I want him. He might take my body, but my mind and soul mean nothing to him. If he did, he’d say something. Look at me at least. I want to curl into a ball and cry. If he kicked me it would hurt less then the agony he’s inflicting now. I have to get out of here.
I’m about to run out of the mansion, out of the damn state, when he finally opens his mouth to ask, “Why?”
“Why?” I parrot back.
“Why do you love me?” he asks in disbelief.
All that strength. All that power. All that beauty. And he’s as insecure as an anorexic girl in a beauty pageant. He breaks my heart, and not in his usual way. “Because you’re strong. And smart. And handsome. Because your moral compass always points north even when it’s to your detriment. Because you’re passionate. Because you have integrity. Because you’re brave. Because you’re a good man.”
“I’m not a man!” he roars. “How can you say that? I eat men! I prey on them. You saw that first damn hand.”
“Yeah, Will, I did. I saw it. I saw you at your worst. You’re most monstrous.” I walk around the bed as fast as I can, stopping mere inches from him. “And I’m still here. Telling you I’m in love with you.”
I’m on the verge of tears now. Two months I’ve waited for this moment. Two months of planning, scheming, psyching myself up. Because this is it. This is the precipice. The last battle. Me versus the monster. Winner take all. “I love you, Will. I do. I don’t care that you’re a werewolf anymore than you care that I’m telekinetic. It is not what defines you, Will. Not to me. And it never, ever will.” I put my hands on his chest, my right one over this heart. He doesn’t pull away. “Why is that so hard for you to understand? After everything. Colorado. The war. The cave. Why can’t you just…” I look into his exquisite eyes, so full of pain and longing, just like mine. “Trust me?”
Hesitantly, he places his hands over mine. “It’s not you I don’t trust, Bea.” His hands fall from mine and ball into fists. “I just…I can’t. I’m sorry.”
He literally turns his back on me. He won’t even give me the courtesy of saying this to his face. “Then you’re nothing but a coward, Will Price. A massive, idiotic, cruel coward. You have no idea what your fear is making you give up here. A woman who-who-who loves you despite your damn temper. Your ridiculous possessiveness. Your prejudice. Who would…fight for you to her last breath. But I can’t do it anymore. Do you hear me? Because God help me, I’m starting to think you aren’t worth it.” He doesn’t turn around. “This is it, Will. Your last chance to prove to me you are. Because when I leave this room, it’s done. You will have lost me. Is that what you want?”
He doesn’t answer.
I bite my lower lip to stop the tears. “Then…I guess everyone was right,” I say, voice breaking. “You don’t deserve me.” With as much dignity as I can muster, I stalk out of the room straight into mine, slamming both our doors behind me.
And that’s it. I lost. The wolf won.
Happy Birthday to me.
I burst into tears.
*
“I hate men.”
I lie in my bed hours after that heartbreaking debacle surrounded by tissues, ice cream cartons, and popcorn with Rhett and Scarlett sparing on the screen. Gone are my cute outfit and polished exterior, replaced instead with flannel Oreo pajamas and red, swollen face. It’s as dark as it can get in here. Light pisses me off. “They should all be rounded up and shot,” I say into the phone.
“A great idea on paper,” April says.
“I mean, why can’t they be like they are in the movies?” I ask with a sniffle. “Witty. Strong. Considerate. Rhett Butler wouldn’t turn down Scarlett just because he’s a big, stupid coward.” And I crumble again, little cries escaping me. “He loves her so much!” I get another tissue and blow my raw nose.
“Okay, you have got to turn off that movie! It’s making things a million times worse.”
“No! I’ve already given that fleabag enough power over me. He’s not going to ruin my birthday tradition too! Oh!” Strong, virile, roguish Rhett chases after wild Scarlet, picking up the protesting woman and carrying her up the stairs to screw her brains out. “No man will ever be that way for me.”
“What?”
“So consumed with passion and love he has to have me right there and then. He just ignores my protests, scoops me up, and takes me to bed.”
“I certainly hope not! That’s rape!”
“You know what I mean.” I sniffle again. “I’m gonna die alone.”
“You’re not going to die alone,” April says, getting aggravated. Poor thing has had to listen to me whine and cry for almost two hours. I’m amazed she hasn’t hung up.
“I am! I’m not skinny, I have crazy hair, and I’m a freak of nature! Who would want me?”
“Um, you want the list? Oliver? That Connor guy? Like all of Javi’s friends? You’re funny, you’re hot, and you literally kick ass. Don’t let this one douche bag make you forget that.”
This makes me feel a little better. “Did I tell you what Connor sent me?”
“No. What?”
“Another Bronte book. It’s a second edition.”
“Wow.”
“I know, right? Maybe I should just leave here. Become his consort and have wild, hot, monkey sex on his yacht. Be a kept woman with minions to do my bidding. Like stringing up a certain werewolf on the Coronado Bridge. Naked. And covered with bees. He’d so do that for me.”
“Or you could join e-Harmony and meet a non-evil guy.”
“Or there’s Oliver. He’s taking me out tonight. I could invite myself into his bedroom afterwards and rip off his clothes. He wouldn’t turn me down.” Except he did. I threw myself at him after a particularly scary night, and he had the good sense to put on the brakes. Shot down by a sex crazed dead man and now a half man. Is it any wonder I’m such a Cassandra when it comes to romance? Didn’t think so.
“You just had your heart broken. A fling with your friend is not what you need.”
“Then what am I supposed to do?”
“Exactly what you are doing. Eat too much, watch sappy movies, and bawl your eyes out. It’s all you can do.”
“I just don’t understand how I could have been so wrong, April. I mean, I did everything right. I was patient. I made a good argument. And I wasn’t even that wrong. He does want me. Just as much as I want him. He just…hates himself more than he cares for me.”
“Bea, you can’t save someone who doesn’t want saving.”
“I know. But I had to try.”
/> “That’s what makes you the best person I know.”
Thudding footsteps in the hallway grip me with terror. It’s him. Seconds after I fled his room, I heard him slam the door and leave. Where he went, I don’t know. I was just so glad he wasn’t around to hear me sob like a baby for hours. Guess he’s back now. Whoop-a-dee-do. The fast footsteps grow closer. I mute the movie. “Hold on a sec, April,” I whisper into the phone. The noise stops right outside my door. A shadow of two feet is visible under the frame. Crap, he’s right outside. Though my heart thuds double time, I stop breathing. After a faint sigh, the shadows finally fade. His door shuts. I take a deep breath. “April, I gotta go.”
“Feel better, okay?”
Before I can even set down the phone, I hear it. The sound of his door opening. The purposeful footfalls. I leap out of bed and rush over to my door, reaching it just as those two shadows reappear. I fling open the door just as he raises his hand to knock. Our eyes lock, and that’s it. That’s all he needs.
“I love you too.”
Our smiling lips collide together like magnets. Greedy, rough kisses that make me want to swoon. My knees even buckle. He must sense this because his powerful arms surround me, pulling me into him so there’s no space between us. Not good enough. I leap up, wrapping my legs around his waist and throwing my arms around his neck. Our mouths devour each other as he backs us onto my bed, falling on top of me, crushing me with his warm body while tissues and popcorn spill onto the bed and floor. I finally got him into my bed.
His mouth leaves mine to nibble then kiss down my neck as I moan and writhe against him. Oh Jesus that’s lovely. He traces the edge of my skin this toe curling way until he yanks my top open, buttons popping and cloth ripping. I’m so shocked I jolt, but then his mouth finds my bare breast, flicking his tongue against my erect, sensitive nipple as his fingers expertly roll the other. My eyes cross, and I throw back my head in ecstasy. But it’s not enough. Nowhere near enough. I sit up and tug at his shirt. He raises his arms to aid me and leans back down to find my mouth again. Our flesh meets, my sensitive soft breasts crushed by his hard chest. I toy with his lips and suck on his tongue all the time our pelvises grind against their mate. His bulge is barely contained and my nethers throb with each coupling. I’m so wet already my panties stick.
High Moon (A F.R.E.A.K.S. Squad Investigation Book 4) Page 4