Chapter Five
The cabin didn’t look rundown as she’d expected. It appeared to be a hearty log cabin and that gave her hope that the inside wasn’t too bad.
Once again, Quinn was all smiles lifting Tim and Daisy down, but his smile fled when he touched Heaven. Had she done something? Did he just dislike her? Or maybe it was the baby and his mistake of thinking of her a woman without morals. It wouldn’t bother her as much if his touch didn’t send tingling and fluttering sensations coursing through her. She’d never felt anything like that before.
“Stay out here while I check for animals.”
He had his gun drawn and she wasn’t so sure it was just animals he was looking for.
“I need to go, Mama,” Tim said as he tugged on her skirt. She glanced at the cabin and then led them to a tree they could use. It was big enough to hide behind.
They finished and she led the children back to the cabin and to a scowling Quinn.
“Next time tell me you’re going.” His voice was tense.
“Of course, I didn’t mean to worry you. Did you find anything inside?”
“It’s safe to go in. I’ll grab the supplies.”
Heaven carried Daisy while she held Tim’s hand. The inside was nicer than she’d expected. There was a table with four chairs and one bed. Cooking must have been done over the fire, for there was no stove and no place for one. There were a few cobwebs clinging to the ceiling and a lot of dust on all the surfaces, but other than that, it was a fine place.
She put Daisy down and urged Tim to watch her for a minute. The first thing she did was to go to the two windows and test out the shutters. The locks were strong. Then she examined the door. It was thick and heavy. They’d be safe in here for a bit. Her shoulders relaxed for the first time all day. All the traveling and worrying had taken a toll, and weariness overcame her. A thick layer of dust coated the bed, but when she removed the top blanket, the mattress beneath was in decent repair.
“Let’s try out the bed.” She lifted Daisy in first, then Tim. They scooted over so there was enough room for her and she laid down.
When she woke, she was covered with the quilt they had brought along. The children were playing checkers with Quinn. She smiled, noting that Quinn made sure Daisy got a turn too. She was on his team. That man might act hard-hearted, but he melted when he was with the little ones. He’d find a fine wife someday and have children of his own. A sweet sadness settled on her heart at the thought, but she pushed it aside.
Quinn glanced at her, and his lopsided grin stayed on his face. “We’re glad you’re up.”
“Yes, Quinn said you were being a lazy bones,” Tim said very seriously. “Daisy and I wanted to look at your bones, but we weren’t allowed.”
Her lips twitched. “Quinn is very smart.” She would not say about what, but he was smart to let her sleep. She stretched and got out of bed. “I could eat a bear.”
“No bear,” Daisy said.
“We have rabbits,” Tim told her proudly.
“Goodness, how long was I asleep?”
“Long enough so your lazy bones could get rest,” Quinn teased. A look of surprise swept over his face. Maybe he wasn’t used to smiling or teasing.
There was a fire flickering in the hearth and a pot hanging by a tripod over it. The wonderful smell of rabbit wafted through the cabin.
“How long do you think we’ll be here?”
“A couple days at least. The next part of the trip is dry and dusty. The worst part will be that we can be seen for miles on that stretch. If I was watching for us, that’s the place I’d watch.” He shook his head and glanced around. “There isn’t much around here. Maybe you could find someone to take the boys into this cabin. I’ve never seen anyone here. I’d have to go into town and make sure this parcel of land isn’t owned, but that’s an easy trip.”
She studied their surroundings with a critical eye. “It’s a good possibility. I hate thinking of them arriving to my house and finding it empty. May God look over them.”
“Yes.”
“Mama, I’m hungry. Is the rabbit cooked to a crisp yet?”
“You’ll have to ask Quinn and tell him not to burn them to a crisp.”
Chuckling, Quinn rose as soon as Tim asked him. “Well now, I’d best take a look. Good thinking, partner.” He turned the meat one more time. “It’ll be ready in a few. I didn’t make anything to go with it, except for coffee. Would you like a cup?”
“Please and thank you.” She didn’t remember her husband ever pouring her a cup of coffee. It was almost like high society as she accepted the cup from Quinn. She gave him a regal nod. He didn’t notice her play, and she supposed that was just as well. He was easy to be around, he didn’t have a lot to say. Or so it seemed. At times he looked to be thinking about something serious. His family maybe?
They ate the succulent rabbit, and then she cleaned up. Afterward, she sat in her chair and smiled at her young ones. Tim looked so much like his father and Daisy favored her. She touched her burgeoning belly, and she already knew the baby would favor its father. She refused to think just how hard it would be to raise such a child.
“Tell you what, if you two can be in bed quickly, I’ll tell you a story about me and my brothers.”
“Oh yes!” Tim looked through the clothes but only found a shirt. “What am I to do now?”
“I’ll take you out to the outhouse now and then you can sleep in the shirt and your underclothes tonight.”
Tim’s eyes lit up. “Is that fine with you Mama?”
She smiled and nodded. “I’ll change Daisy and see what other clothes I grabbed.” She waited until they left before she searched to see if there was anything for her to wear. There was nothing. She’d sleep in her dress again. Maybe that was just as well. If she’d had anything she would have wanted to be changed before Quinn and Tim came back. They probably wouldn’t take long.
Daisy was propped up on the bed and her cheeks were pink while her eyes brightened when Quinn walked in. Timmy ran and somehow took his trousers off at the same time. Heaven shook her head. She watched as Tim jumped into the bed and made room for Quinn to sit on the bed with them. Quinn turned toward her for permission. She nodded.
She got his bedroll ready for him in front of the hearth. She made sure the window shutters were locked as well as the door. When she sat, she felt the pressure that told her she should have made a trip to the privy herself.
Quinn stopped his storytelling as soon as Daisy and Tim closed their eyes. He walked toward her. “Is something wrong?”
“Yes, I should have used the outhouse earlier and now the baby is pushing against me.”
Quinn nodded and lit a lantern. “Come, I’ll walk you.”
“But the children—”
“Will be just fine.” He grabbed a rifle before they left and walked before her, lighting the path.
“I’m so sorry to put you out.”
“Nonsense.”
Her face heated as she went in. He was a stranger and he knew what she was doing. She got a hold of herself. Everyone knew what people did in the outhouse. She was no shy miss anymore.
When she was done, she walked out with her head high. She stopped at the pump and washed her hands. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I would have changed while you were out with Tim, but I didn’t manage to bring anything else to wear, so I’ll have to wear my dress.” She opened the door and Quinn ushered her in first.
He went to his saddle bag and grabbed out a fresh shirt. “You take this and be comfortable. I’ll keep my back to you, don’t worry.”
She took the blue shirt and nodded. He had a caring way about him, and he was a gentleman too. How he still had a fresh shirt after traveling by horse surprised her. His shirt when she had first seen him had looked to be on the clean side too.
She settled the shirt over her body and sighed. He was right, it was much more comfortable than her dress, which was stretched to the limit. The shirt fell below h
er knees, almost to her ankles. He was much bigger than her husband had been. She was grateful.
Chapter Six
Heaven stared into the flames that danced gently across the logs in the fireplace. She should get up and stoke them to keep the blaze going, but she was worn out. Her arms and legs felt as though weighed down by stones. She took a deep breath and slowly released it, giving in to the lethargy.
They’d been in the cabin for three days. In the morning, they planned to leave. Heaven didn’t know why but her energy had depleted rapidly and she had slept the greater part of each day. Would she be able to ride a horse? She didn’t have a choice, but it was going to be uncomfortable. Her back hurt like never before. Quinn said they’d camp out one, maybe two nights before they would be on his property. He really hadn’t been very far from home. He’d said he had left his home and had just ridden around looking for a place to fit in. She wasn’t sure what he meant by that, and he hadn’t told her why he had found such a thing necessary.
What if he decided that he still didn’t fit with his family and left her there? It wasn’t as though she was his responsibility, and he’d gone far beyond what any other man would have.
“Can I get you anything?”
She smiled up at him. “No, you’ve been wonderful to me, to us all. We’ve never been treated so gently. I’ve never known a man who could be so attentive. I come from a long line of people where the man was king and the woman his servant.” She swallowed hard. “Is there something I can do for you? Without you, we’d be dead.”
He stared at her with a blank expression on his face. Then he reached over and put his hand over hers. “I don’t want to ever hear you offering something to me or any man. You are better than that. Has anyone ever taken—” He stared at her stomach.
“Oh my, no! I—this child — No, I wasn’t doing any favor when this baby was made. I bled so and I could hardly walk for a week.” Her chest tightened as the memories swamped her, and she drew a deep breath before she went on. “My eye was swollen shut, and I couldn’t open my mouth wide enough to eat. I never knew pain could be so bad. It’s a wonder I survived. I don’t think they intended me to.” Chills raced up and down her spine. “I’d had my children hide where I usually hid the Negro boys. If I hadn’t—they would have taken my babies and sold them. I could hardly move afterwards, but I could sit by the window with my rifle loaded.” She hung her head. She couldn’t bear the pity in Quinn’s eyes, and suddenly she wished she’d never told him. Shame filled her and her eyes filled. Hastily she wiped the tears away.
He didn’t move, didn’t speak.
“I shouldn’t have told you,” she decided aloud. “I didn’t mean to place my burdens on you. I’d best get some sleep.” She shook her head. “What you must think of me…” No sooner had she stood, when the next thing she knew she was drawn on to Quinn’s lap. He pulled her close and placed her head on his shoulder. At first, she stiffened but fairly quickly, she was holding on to him just as tight. She wept as she never had, and it was pure anguish remembering it all, but it was also cleansing. She finally leaned back and took his face in her hands and she kissed his cheek.
“Thank you,” she whispered before she stood again and went to bed. She fell asleep immediately.
* * *
He lay in front of the fire unable to sleep. What had he just done? Had she read anything into his comfort? He hoped not. What if she started looking at him in some special way? He was just helping her and her family and that was it. There were no emotional strings. He could easily drop her off at Teagan’s ranch and leave again.
That still stuck in his craw; Teagan was the only brother listed on the property. It was a betrayal of how they’d all lived their lives as brothers. He was just as good if not better at ranching than his brother. This was his father’s fault; he’d made the will. What had he’d been thinking? Was there one of them his father didn’t trust? Was it because of Brogan, the son he’d fathered with the neighbor’s wife? Had the hatred between the families caused his father to become nervous? Maybe he was afraid his ranch would somehow become Maguire land. Whatever the reason it hurt him to his soul. Teagan, his brother, his best friend, had known the whole time and never said a word. He’d allowed all the brothers to assume they all had equal shares.
Turning over, he saw Heaven gazing at him. Was she thinking about wedding bells? Disturbed by the disastrous thought, he threw the covers off and put on his gun belt and coat.
“Where are you going?” She sounded worried.
“I just need some air. Go to sleep.” He shoved his hat on his head and quietly opened the door, stepped out, and closed it behind him. He kicked around a bit until he found a piece of wood that looked interesting. He turned it over and over, studying it. Then he pulled out his hunting knife, sat on a tree stump, and began to whittle. What he wanted and what was happening were two different things. He wanted to be alone. He craved solitude, didn’t he?
Pieces of the branch he was carving on flew, dropping to the ground around him in chunks and curls. He scraped the knife along one of the rough edges and just barely avoided taking a piece out of his thumb.
Fury surged as he stared at the knife and the wood that had been nearly whittled to nothing. Angry with himself for getting into such a sticky predicament, he hurled the wood across the clearing. It had been his own fault. He’d still been wandering because he’d held on to Teagan’s betrayal to keep himself from going home. But the way their father’s will had been written wasn’t something Teagan could have controlled. He should have told them, but it hadn’t been such a grievous wrong, certainly nothing worth getting so mad about.
Quinn sighed. It also wasn’t Heaven’s fault that he was helping her. He’d just ridden into that one; it wasn’t like she had asked him to intervene. But now… Now he was angry because he’d enjoyed having her in his arms. He knew how it would all end, and there were children involved this time. Children he already cared about. He needed to get his heart hardened against all women again. Heaven had made a small crack and it needed fixing.
He sat again, staring into the woods, and let the memories come upon him. They were never far away.
Everywhere he went, he had smelled the hospital. The cleaning scent, the medical scent, the odor of blood and the wretched stench of death. No matter how hard he scrubbed, no matter how long it had been, he carried the stink on him. He groaned as he flexed the muscles across his back. His flesh had healed finally, but his back and part of his chest were covered in scars, and the skin grew tight at times.
He’d thought he looked hideous, but Alicia had made him feel like a normal man. She often sat with him during her breaks and then one day they started talking about a future together. She wove such a lovely picture, and he fell for it as hard as he’d fallen for her.
An owl hooted from deep in the woods. He ran his hand over his face. Remembering was working; his heart was in unbearable pain. Heaven wouldn’t be able to get in. Not after how he had suffered at Alicia’s coldhearted hands. He stood and went inside. He didn’t feel as troubled. He’d be able to sleep.
The next morning, he tried his best to stay out of Heaven’s way. When he did gaze at her, the bewilderment and hurt on her face made him feel guilty. He made no promises, so why should she should act hurt? Even little Tim gave him a glare.
“Ready? I want to get as far as we can.”
Heaven nodded. “Everything is packed, and the children are ready.” She led Tim and Daisy out of the cabin without glancing at him.
He grabbed the supplies and loaded up the horse. He then helped Heaven onto the saddle and lifted Tim, so he sat behind her. “I’ll take Daisy for a while and give you a rest.” He saw the beginning of a nod before he bent and took the girl into his arms.
Daisy smiled at him and patted his face. All his irritation melted away. She sure made the world light up just like — No, he refused to think about it.
He placed her in front of him and she said, “Giddy up!
”
It might have been nice to share an amused smile with Heaven. His chest tightened, and his heart seemed to twinge with longing. This was going to be much harder that he had thought. They rode for a while, and he glanced at Heaven. Her face was pale, and she seemed in pain.
Concern for her welfare led to guilt for how hard he was driving her and the children.
“Are you all right?”
“I’m perfectly fine.”
She was a stubborn one.
“We’re taking a break.” He just wished he had more than a few rocks for shade. He lowered himself down with Daisy in his arm. He set her down and then turned to get Tim. Quinn received another glare from the boy. He set him on the ground. “Look after Daisy for a minute.”
He met Heaven’s gaze as he held his arms up for her. His heart ached at the hurt and shadows in her eyes. Carefully, he helped her down, but he didn’t let go.
“What’s going on? I can see you’re in pain.”
She quickly stepped away from him. “It’s nothing, but a rest will be welcome.”
He took her hand and led her to one of the bigger rocks, kicking some loose gravel out of the way before he sat her down so she could lean against it. He then made sure everyone had plenty of water. He watched the flat land around him for any other riders. He didn’t see a thing, in particular not any kind of dust cloud to indicate riders. But he also watched Heaven, and she winced when she moved. Were her legs sore from riding? She likely hadn’t ridden much if she had no call to do so. He needed to get them to the ranch. But would she be able to ride eight more hours? He doubted it. Regret for the sacrifice of the wagon plagued him, though there had seemed little choice at the time.
Quinn: Cowboy Risk: The Kavanagh Brothers Book Two Page 3