“Everything is loaded into the wagon. We might as well get going so you can nurse your son.” He walked away without waiting for her.
Your son? She wanted to cry; actually she wanted to break down and sob, but she had too much pride. Heaven stood with her head up and her shoulders back and walked to the wagon. Quinn was already sitting on the bench without even waiting to offer her any assistance climbing aboard. She’d been used to doing herself for years, and she easily climbed up onto the wagon seat.
His face was set in a hard look she’d never seen before. They drove out of town to the ranch without a word being said. He must think he was the only one hurting, but she was hurting too. It was if he suddenly thought his back would be a problem. So, what was his reasoning for not asking her to marry him weeks before? Did he think she had nowhere else to go and he didn’t have to marry her? She couldn’t be around him she just couldn’t. She hopped down and ran inside and then up the stairs.
She tried to relax so she could feed Owen. Daisy and Tim ran up the stairs and sat on the bed with her asking all sorts of questions. She answered them as patiently and cheerfully as she could, and they always seemed to think of just one more. After she burped Owen, she set him back into his cradle where he immediately fell asleep. Now what? She needed to be alone, but she had children. Mothers didn’t get the luxury of much time alone.
Dolly knocked on the door and walked in. Their gazes met, and she immediately offered to show Tim and Daisy how to make cookies. After she shooed the children out the door, she followed and closed it behind her.
Heaven stood and looked out the window as tears ran down her face. Love didn’t matter. It didn’t matter one bit, at least not where Quinn was concerned. Alicia had accomplished what she had set out to do and that was to break up the bond Heaven and Quinn had formed. She looked down at her left hand and slowly took off the wedding band Sullivan had given her to wear. She put it on the dresser, thinking it would make her feel better but it only made it worse.
She wouldn’t be surprised if Quinn rode out and never came back. And his family would blame her for his leaving. Finally, she had caught a glimpse of the loner he could be. He probably had made plans before he ended up at her ranch. She never asked, and he never said. She should’ve known better than to fall for a man. Quinn had been so unlike her husband, and she had taken his every glance, every touch, so personally and into her heart.
And Quinn had only acted as any polite man should act. It had been her husband who had been cold, often withholding any affection or nice words. She’d wanted to believe everything, and she’d wanted to think she was special, but in actuality she wasn’t. She supposed she should’ve asked Quinn about marriage plans weeks ago. Maybe somewhere in the back of her mind she knew he would never marry her, and she had been unwilling to give up the fantasy. She wasn’t good enough for him. Who in their right mind wanted to take on two children plus a baby that was part Indian?
Her poor babies, they were going to be so hurt. She lay on the bed and sobbed into a pillow.
Chapter Eighteen
Quinn kicked the fence post and moaned. It hurt more than he could have expected. He had been fooled—again. Heaven had tricked him. She’d made him believe she saw him as a whole man, and she didn’t care about his scars. How it hurt to hear Alicia giving her advice on how to avoid touching or seeing his back. The house he was having built for them was almost finished, and he had planned to ask her to marry him for real this time. It would be lonely living in the house but that was what he’d do. Anything to get away from Teagan’s happy household.
It was his fault! It was all his fault. He had let his guard down, and his heart was mangled once again. He’d sworn never to let another woman into his life or into his heart, and he had stupidly allowed both to happen. Where did they go from here? Heaven was strong enough now after the birth of Owen to strike out on her own. He had no doubt she’d leave. She’d probably had planned to do that all along.
He wished he could hate her, he wished he could put her out of his mind, and he wished most of all that he had never met her. Maybe she could live in the foreman’s house for now. He just couldn’t stand it, having her and the children in the house with him. He loved those children, and he knew they loved him, but they were young enough to forget him. He looked over at the house and rubbed his chest where his heart pained so much. Who was he kidding? He’d have to leave for a while again. He wouldn’t be able to take pity or sympathy from his brothers.
He went into the barn and saddled Bandit. All the supplies he needed were already in the barn. He filled his saddlebags and grabbed his bedroll before he headed out. He didn’t stop to say goodbye or to tell anyone of his plans. They’d figure it out soon enough.
Chapter Nineteen
It had been two weeks since Quinn had left. Heaven had arranged for the sale of her ranch, and with the money, outfitted a wagon. She was joining a wagon train, and she had hired two men to help her. Her group was set to leave the next day.
It had been a lonely two weeks during which every thought had been of Quinn. He could have at least said goodbye. It just proved that she was right, and he didn’t care. Teagan had tried to talk her into staying and so had Gemma and Dolly, but she just couldn’t. This was Quinn’s home, not hers.
It had been almost impossible to console Daisy and Tim. They still thought of Quinn as their father. It hadn’t been easy to find two trustworthy men to work for her who hadn’t balked at Owen being a half breed. Most likely because he was just a baby the two agreed. It was going to be hard to say goodbye to all the people on the ranch; they had all been more than generous and kind to her and her children.
It would be a long difficult trip, but she knew she was up for it. She had to be she didn’t have a choice. But a new start in California was what she needed. She needed time to heal her broken heart and learn to go on with her life. It was amazing at how quickly one’s life could change. She had wanted to talk to the local pastor before she left, but she didn’t dare go back into town. Instead, she had many talks with the Lord, and she felt He would keep her safe on her journey. She also prayed for Quinn. He deserved a good life. She hoped that once she was gone, he would feel comfortable enough to come home.
Dolly had wanted to set up a special dinner for them, but Heaven couldn’t bring herself to take her up on her offer. She’d caused nothing but trouble since she’d arrived. The greatest relief would be not seeing the pity and sorrow in the Kavanaghs’ eyes.
Heaven and the children ate their supper in her room that evening, and she woke them up extra early the next morning. She was gone before she had to say goodbye. They probably thought horribly of her, but it was the best she could do.
She drove to the meeting place just outside of town and parked her wagon where the captain directed. Thank goodness, her two hired men showed up on time, and the children seemed excited. She couldn’t help but think she was leaving a big part of her heart behind, but there was no help for it.
They spent the day learning the rules of traveling in a group. They practiced circling the wagons, and the captain and his scouts went from wagon to wagon checking to see if they were lightly packed and that everyone had what they needed.
Captain Todd seemed like a fine man, and the two men she had hired, Herman Loud and Jack Vine, were both very respectful. She and her children would be in good hands, and for that she was grateful.
It took a while to get Tim and Daisy settled down for the night, but finally they were all asleep, including Owen. She looked up at the stars and wondered where she’d gone wrong. Had she been fanciful or had Quinn really loved her? Either way what they’d found had obviously been too fragile, and her heart was still broken into too many pieces to count.
She snuggled against the children and fell asleep.
* * *
Quinn urged Bandit to go faster. They had three days on him, but with wagons they’d be going slow. He expected to catch up at any time. His heart ached wo
rse than ever, and he needed to talk to her. He needed to know, was it his back or had he done something else?
He didn’t think this wagon train would ever make it up over the mountains before winter set in. They had left too late in the season. It was too dangerous for Heaven and the children. He couldn’t wait to see Tim, Daisy, and Owen. He was nervous about seeing Heaven. She wouldn’t be happy he had followed them. This time he wasn’t going to let the woman he loved just leave without saying goodbye.
“They’ve stopped for the night, Bandit. We’ll catch up soon.”
He slowed Bandit to walk as he approached the camp. He looked for guards but didn’t see any. He found the captain and explained why he was there, and the captain gave him leave to find Heaven.
It didn’t take him but a minute to find them. Daisy and Tim were running around while Heaven was bending over the fire stirring their supper. He walked over and Daisy and Tim came to a halt. They looked at each other, and when he kneeled on the ground they ran into his arms.
“Where have you been? All mama does is cry!” Tim asked with narrowed eyes.
“Why did you go away, Dada? I lub you very very very very very much.” Daisy kissed his cheek every time she said very.
His heart was near exploding with love for these two. He glanced up and found Heaven staring at him. There was no emotion on her face, and that scared him. He gave her his best grin, stood, and walked toward her. He locked his gaze with hers and was pleased when she finally smiled. He opened his arms, and she flew into them as she gave a little cry. He held her close, not wanting to let her go again.
“I can’t believe you’re here. Quinn, why did you come?”
He pulled her closer and whispered into her ear, “Because I love you.”
She pulled back and stared into his eyes. “You what? But you left.”
He nodded, awash in shame. “I was so wrapped up in my own hurt that I didn’t think about your feelings. I still don’t know how you feel or what you want. I heard all the advice you asked Alicia for and just couldn’t stay. Not after building us a house. I couldn’t face living in it alone. I wanted us to be a family…”
“I never asked for her advice.” Heaven drew back and locked onto his gaze. “That was her way of trying to make trouble. Quinn, I don’t care what your back looks like. I wouldn’t care if you had scars all over your body except for the pain I know that would be. I love you too. I’ve been so torn up and I couldn’t stay. Everything reminded me of you, and I just couldn’t take it.” Tears filled her eyes.
Before he could say anything, he was ambushed by Tim and Daisy hugging him. Being loved was the best thing in the world.
Chapter Twenty
Watching Quinn with the children was the best thing for her. He lay on his back, napping with Owen on his chest. They both had the slightest snore. Quinn found another family who would take on Henry Loud and Jack Vine so they could still make the trip west. He paid half their wages with the promise to pay the rest when they arrived in California. He planned to drive the wagon back to the ranch, though he still didn’t mention getting married.
It turned out to be a very cramped way to sleep. Daisy insisted that Dada sleep in the wagon with them. Heaven had Owen in his cradle above her head, and Quinn had both Tim and Daisy sprawled across him. She couldn’t help but giggle when one of the children moved or turned. It wasn’t comfortable, but her heart no longer hurt.
On their third day riding back, Quinn drove them into town, and she felt ill. Everyone would know by now they never were married. He stopped right in front of the preacher’s house and hurried them all inside. And just like that, before she knew it, she was Mrs. Quinn Kavanagh. She barely looked at the ring until they were on the way to the ranch. When she did glance down at her hand, she was stunned. It was a different ring.
“Look at the engraving.”
She slid the ring off and found one word engraved on the inside: Forever. Her eyes watered. “How long have you had this ring?”
“I bought it a few days after we moved onto the ranch. I wanted the house built first, and then…” His face took on a sheepish expression.
A smile tugged at her lips and she touched him on the arm. “I had my moments of doubt too, but we are finally married,” she told him.
“Forever,” he whispered.
“Forever,” she whispered back.
Epilogue
She’d been right to keep her faith. God had opened the most wonderful door for her and the children. When she saw the scars, they didn’t seem ugly, but they did make her want to cry. He must have suffered horribly. Quinn showed her what love, gentleness and affection could be.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked.
“I was wondering which brother would sacrifice himself.” His lips twitched. He took her hand and led her off the porch so they could see the stars.
“The more wives the merrier if that was what you meant by sacrifice,” she teased back. Then she grew serious. “Was it a sacrifice to marry me?”
“Loving you has been the biggest risk of my life and I’m the happiest of men that I took that risk.” He gathered her into his arms and kissed her.
“To answer your question, I think I’d need to meet your brother, Brogan before I could give the best guess.”
Quinn nodded. “He’s been on his own long enough. I’ll go over to the Maguire ranch and check on him. Meanwhile we should look around for a wife for Sullivan. Like you said the more the merrier.”
“I love you Quinn.”
“That’s good because I love you too.”
Untitled
Thank you for reading Quinn: Cowboy Risk. I enjoyed writing it. I have no knowledge of men rounding up children to sell or of any type of rescue. It occurred to me that so many children had been sold away from their parents. What if they couldn’t find each other? I’d like to think there were people who helped.
If you could take a moment and write a review on Amazon about this book, I’d appreciate it. Reviews help sell books and allow me to buy better advertising.
Brogan: Cowboy Pride is the next book in this series. It takes a strong man to swallow his pride for the benefit of his family.
Brogan: Cowboy Pride
Chapter One
Brogan threw his black hat onto the grass-filled pasture. His horses were missing, not all but enough. He needed the income from those horses to get through the winter. He gazed at his Dunn, Prince. “Mind telling me where your friends went?”
Grumbling, he grabbed his hat and jammed it on his head. Without those horses he wouldn’t be able to feed the horses he’d decided to keep. A disaster, that was what this was, a foul disaster. He mounted up and turned Prince toward the far corner of the property.
He had to find those horses. He’d rather starve than go home with his hat in hand. Never would he step foot on the Kavanagh land again. His gut clenched. He tried and tried to push his brothers and the ranch from his thoughts. Keeping busy helped, barely.
He spurred Prince on and he suddenly pulled the reins hard to stop short. “Sorry Prince.” He wrinkled his brow staring at the covered wagon on his property. Property that had been fenced. Anger coursed through his body with great speed. He was tired of people taking what was his.
He took his rifle out of the scabbard and lay it across his lap as he slowly approached the camp. It smelled of smoke and coffee with a hint of bacon. They were eating better than he. There wasn’t time for cooking.
He expected to see a few people, but it was silent. Did they have a gun beaded on him as he approached? A good portion of his fence had been removed. Someone would have to pay. The urge to punch someone swelled up.
“Hello the camp!” Where were the thieves? Were they cowards? He squinted against the sun. Was that a girl hand feeding one of his horses grass? What was going on here?
“I’m coming in and I have my rifle cocked!” The wagon moved slightly. Someone was in there.
“Wait! Don’t shoot!�
�� a woman yelled. “Orla where are you?” She sounded exasperated.
The woman climbed out of the wagon and she didn’t have a gun in her hands but she might have one tucked in his skirt somewhere. He kept his rifle pointed at her. Her big blue eyes grew bigger as her ebony hair blew in the slight breeze.
“Can I help you?” She clasped her shaking hands.
Where was her husband? She appeared too frightened to drive a covered wagon without one.
“For starters you can tell me why in the name of heaven you would cut my fence and let my horses loose? Then I want to hear how you think you have the right to squat on this land?” He narrowed his eyes. He wanted the truth, the first time. It would be a nice change.
“What did you do with my sister? If you’ve harmed her…”
“I think that’s her hand feeding my horses,” he snapped.
The woman put her hand over her mouth. She turned and looked at her sister. “Orla won’t harm them. My name is Ciara Doyle. The fence was down, and it seemed safer to camp here rather than the wilds of Texas.”
Wilds of Texas? “You’ll have to move along, don’t think for a minute I believe you about the fence. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have horses to find.” He clenched his fists around his rifle and gave her a hard stare before he put the rifle back in the scaffold. Brogan started to turn Prince but stopped. “Where’s your husband?” He was still in the mood to punch someone.
“We don’t have husbands,” Ciara explained.
He fixed his gaze on her. “I’m to believe it’s just you and your sister? Lady, I’ve been lied to by the best so don’t bother. What’s really going on here?”
Her chin quivered and she darted a glance at him before she began to shuffle her feet. “We were traveling with their parents and now it’s just me and my sister. We couldn’t go on because the wagon train had been destroyed, so I turned around and somehow I ended up in Texas. I know it sounds like a tall tale but if you ever relied on me to lead you anywhere you’d know I always go the wrong way. So then I thought since I always go the wrong way I’ll go the other way that didn’t help either. Pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to cross that river about six days ago. Then I thought, I don’t think I’m uneducated, but I really thought the West is on my left side and East was on my right no matter where I stood. I have since realized I need to be facing North for that work.” Her face turned crimson and when she looked at his face she winced.
Quinn: Cowboy Risk: The Kavanagh Brothers Book Two Page 11