by Jake Bible
“No, I agree with you, Jace,” Stuart says and I can see even the simple act of answering my question hurts him. I can’t wait to get his side of what went down that day in Knoxville. “But I agree with Lourdes, as well. While we are on the road, we need to have a clear chain of command. No more committee meetings, no more getting people’s opinions before we act. If we are going to survive until Boulder, we have to have someone in charge that can make the hard choices and get as many of us there alive as possible.”
“As many of us…” I echo and let the words fall away. “You don’t think we are all going to survive, do you?”
“We haven’t so far,” Stuart says. “We lost a lot of people in Knoxville and a lot at the Cookers’ camp. We did pick up a few of the cannies that surrendered instantly. Not everyone there was there because they wanted to be.”
“Whoa, wait, we’re saving cannies now?” I ask. “I guess I missed that this morning when we were loading up.”
“Something wrong with saving cannies?” Elsbeth asks.
“You know what I mean,” I snap.
“We need numbers if we are going to survive the next 1300 miles,” Stuart says. “And who are we to judge who lives and who dies? We’ve all done horrible things to stay alive in this world since Z-Day. There isn’t a fucking saint in this ragtag bunch.”
“Amen to that,” Buzz says.
I look around and see Buzz, Porky, Pup, John, Lourdes, Stuart, and Elsbeth staring at me. Everyone else has gone into the largest of the factory buildings to get washed up, have some food, and to get some rest.
“When did you have time to talk about this?” I ask. “While I was passed out last night?”
“It’s amazing how much we can get done without your mouth around,” Stuart smirks, then grunts with pain. “But, seriously, Jace. We are deep in the shit and Lourdes knows how to get us out of it better than anyone here.”
“Almost better than anyone,” John says, “but her peeps won’t listen to me, so she gets to call the shots.”
“Please don’t say peeps,” I cringe. “Or bro. Those two words are off limits from here on out.”
“Amen to that,” Stuart nods.
“This isn’t going to be a take over,” Lourdes says. “We’ll gather everyone tonight and have a vote, but those that vote against will need to find their own rides. I can’t have dissent while we are on the road. All it takes is a single moment’s hesitation and everything goes to shit.”
“Wow,” is all I can say to that. “Join us or be exiled. Lovely.”
“It’s not like that,” Buzz says. “Not at all. We’ve just got to get our crap together, Jace. We’ve been so focused on running from what’s chasing us that we’ve forgotten about what’s in front.”
“And that’s a whole lotta Hell,” John says. “Nothing is going to get better, just worse. We have to have our shit stored and locked down tight.”
“You don’t store shit,” Elsbeth says, then holds up a hand and hooks a thumb towards me. “Sorry. I know what you mean. I hang out with him too much.”
“Nice,” I frown. “Have you told anyone else yet?” I point at the PCs and survivors busily working on retrofitting the RVs that fill the huge parking lot in front of the factory buildings. “Are these people working their asses off thinking they still have a vote?”
“They do still have a vote,” Lourdes says. “They just may not have rides, that’s all. This is a ‘what’s best for all’ scenario. Sometimes everyone’s safety comes first before everyone’s rights.”
“Spare me the post 911 rationale,” I snap. “I lived through the war on terror, thank you. No one was safer and everyone was a lot less free.”
“Not really a sound analogy,” Stuart says. “This isn’t some perceived threat that may or may not happen, Jace. It’s happening now and we are already deep in it. We dove headfirst and slammed into the bottom. Now we have to deal with the aftermath.”
I close my eyes and start to shake my head, but the pain nearly makes my knees give out and I grab onto the Humvee to stay standing.
“Let’s get you inside so you can rest more,” John says. “I also want Reaper to check you out. Dr. McCormick is good, but she’s also traumatized from the cannibal camp. A fresh pair of eyes could keep you from dying in your sleep.”
He gets a thumbs up to that.
Porky and Pup each take an arm and help me towards the buildings. They are so fucking big that I pretty much just drag my toes and don’t have to walk at all.
Just before we get to the big building, I realize something.
“Hey, Pup?” I ask. “Where’s your uncle? Where’s Critter?”
“We don’t know,” Pup says. “He’s one of the ones still missing.”
“Is anyone looking for him?”
“No,” Porky answers. “Not enough people and not enough time. If he ain’t dead, he’ll find us.”
“What if we leave before he does?” I ask.
“He’ll find us,” Buzz says from directly behind me. “Don’t you worry none about that.”
***
I’m more than groggy as I sit on the hard concrete floor of the big factory building. Stella has just woken me up from a less than restful nap. It was one of those naps where you don’t know if you are asleep or awake and your dreams mix with the sounds of reality.
All that kept running through my head while I tried to sleep was how people would react once they knew that a military coup was happening.
Okay, okay, maybe not a “coup,” but it sure as shit isn’t democracy in action.
I’ve got Greta on one side and Charlie on the other. They are pretty much propping me up and keeping me from toppling over.
Stella is standing up front with Lourdes, Buzz, and Stuart. My wife does not look like a happy camper. Hell, she doesn’t look like a happy cannibal camper and they are a lot less cheerful than regular campers, believe me.
Lourdes has just let everyone know what her plan is and the building is silent. It’s not the reaction I was expecting. I was thinking more vocal outrage and maybe some fist shaking. But everyone sits there before the four of them and listens; no shouting, no voices raised in anger and outrage.
Everyone is so exhausted, so scared, so ready to get someplace safe that they are willing to overlook everything Lourdes is saying.
“This isn’t permanent,” Lourdes says. “This is only while the convoy is in place. Once we reach our destination, Stella will take control again and we can work on getting civilization up and running once more.”
Still, no one speaks out. They sit there, some looking from Lourdes to Stella and back, some looking at their neighbors, some looking down at their hands as they hang their heads. But no one argues at all.
Which means it’s up to me.
“I’m sorry, but this is bullshit,” I say as I slowly get to my feet. The room swims, but I keep my feet and take a deep breath. “If we give up the basic right of freedom of choice, we are no different than the Zs. We’re just a bunch of shambling morons getting from Point A to Point B. Why even bother with the convoy?” I spread my arms, then wish I hadn’t as I struggle to keep my balance. “Why not just stay here? These buildings can house a lot of people and we obviously have tools and supplies.”
“We have tools, yes,” Lourdes says, “but supplies are short. We’ll be out of food and water by the end of next week.”
“Then how will we survive on the road?” I ask. “It’ll take longer than that to get to Boulder, especially with the haul truck blown to shit. We have nothing to clear the road.”
“We’re outfitting a couple of RVs with plows,” Lourdes says. “They’ll shove cars out of the way as we go. And, some of the folks we saved last night have told us that there are quite a few clear stretches along the interstates. People have tried to get things back to a semblance of civilization.”
“And where are those people?” I ask. “Are they here now? If so, what went wrong? Why leave?”
I lo
ok around the huge space and find quite a few new folks that refuse to look at me.
“Let me guess,” I laugh. “You had a good thing going, and then times got hard. A well meaning person decided that maybe some rules needed to be in place and the next thing you know you’re all running for your lives because the shit hit the dictatorial fan. That about sum it up?”
No answers from anyone, but I don’t expect any.
“Stella supports this,” Stuart says, “and so do I.”
“Stuart, man, I love you like a brother, but I also remember when you were Brenda’s trigger finger. As much as I want to believe you, I just can’t. I’ve seen the people you’ve killed since Z-Day.”
“We’ve all killed people,” Stuart replies, not taking my bait. “And we all have to live with those memories. But the only way we can live with those memories is to stay alive, Jace.”
Scared faces, confused faces, that’s what I see as I look for sympathy amongst the crowd. Not a single person is in solidarity with me here. They want to live and survive so bad that they will do so at any cost.
“Fine,” I nod. Ow. “Lourdes is in charge while we are a convoy, no problem. But to abandon anyone that disagrees? That’s pretty fucking barbaric.”
“Order will be…” Lourdes starts.
“Fuck your order!” I yell. “This is the mother fucking apocalypse! Every time someone tries to maintain order, innocent people die! We maintained order in Whispering Pines and any unlucky bum that came by the gate got shot! Vance wanted to establish order and we had to blow up the whole fucking subdivision to fight him off! Mondello wanted order and brought an army to take us out! The Consortium wants order and they fucking dirty bombed Asheville to get it! Order will be the mother fucking death of us! FUCK YOUR ORDER!”
“Dad,” Greta says softly, suddenly at my side. “Sit down.”
“I’m not going to fucking sit down!” I shout. “I’m not! I didn’t live this long in this mother fucking hell to be told what to do! No one fucking tells me what to do! I’m a fucking human being and I have fucking inalienable rights!”
“Dad,” Charlie says from my other side. “It’s cool. We know what you mean.”
“I don’t think you do,” I snap. “You’re a kid, Charlie. You both are. You’ve never lived free. You’ve always had parents that can override your decisions and tell you what to do. To live free, then to have that freedom taken away is one of the worst feelings in the world. Worse than death…”
I realize the stupidity of those last words and sigh.
“I just don’t want to die without my freedom,” I sigh. “I can’t die without my freedom. Then it will have all been for nothing and I should have just offed my family on Z-Day.”
“Jason Stanford, you will take those words back this second!” Stella snaps. She stomps over to me and gets right in my face. “You selfish, sorry prick! How dare you say something like that as if it was your choice to make! I am not your property and your kids are not your property! At no point during all of this waking nightmare have you ever had the authority to decide whether I live or die! You talk about freedom and then spout that bullshit? Fuck you, Jason Stanford! FUCK YOU!”
“Uh-oh, sounds like mommy and daddy are fightin’,” a voice calls out from behind us. “That can’t be good. I’d back down, Long Pork. Ain’t nobody gonna win, not even you, when Stella gets all riled up like that.”
We all turn to see a somewhat welcome sight.
Critter.
He’s standing with a couple of the PCs. They aren’t there because of him, but because of who is with him.
Kramer.
“Hello, everyone,” Dr. Kramer says. “I see we are having a discussion. Sorry to be late. I hope I haven’t missed the good parts.”
“Shut yer hole, Kramer,” Critter snaps and the man quiets down immediately.
I don’t know what happened between them out there, but Critter obviously has put the mad doctor in his place.
“I caught the gist of what is happenin’ when I pulled up,” Critter says. “These gentlemen were kind enough to let me know that martial law has been established. Ain’t that somethin’.”
“It’s not martial law,” Lourdes says.
“Don’t get your lady boxers in a bunch, sweet guns,” Critter says as he walks through the seated crowd and up to the woman. “You haven’t heard my take on all this. And I can see from a few faces out there that there might be some interest in what an older, more experienced person such as me might think.”
“Please,” Lourdes says. “The floor is yours.”
“Thank you,” Critter replies after a quick bow. “Hey, folks. Miss me?”
Finally, a few smiles start to show up on the faces of the crowd.
“I figured as much,” he chuckles. “Now, if I have this right, Ms. Lourdes here will be in charge as long as the convoy is on the road, then she gives up control to Stella once we get to our destination. And I am in total agreement.”
There are some surprised gasps.
“That’s right, I think it’s a fine idea to let the person that knows the most about gettin’ a convoy safely to its destination be in charge,” Critter says. “And you all know how much respect I have for Stella Stanford, so her takin’ control again has my vote as well.”
“But…,” I prod.
“Thank you, Jace,” Critter smiles. “I knew I could count on you to spot the but.”
A little laughter, but mainly expectation.
“The but is what happens if our destination doesn’t want Stella to have any control?” Critter asks. “What if we get there and we are either not welcomed, or we are not allowed to have a say in what happens to us?”
He lets that sink in.
“I wouldn’t mind if we figure that out before I fully give up my right to die a free man,” Critter says. “Because, unfortunate as it was, I have spent the past couple of days alone with Kramer. Now, I don’t believe everythin’ he told me, but there are some nuggets of truth that are botherin’ me somethin’ wicked like.”
“Like what?” Stuart asks, looking from Critter to Kramer. “What information haven’t you told us?”
“Quite a lot, Gunnery Sergeant,” Dr. Kramer grins. “You didn’t think I’d spill it all and lose my only insurance policy, did you? I’ve given you what you need to know to stay alive on the road, but when you get to Boulder, you’ll still need me to get you inside.”
“Well, of course he hasn’t told us everythin’,” Critter laughs. “Wouldn’t expect a weasel like him to be forthcomin’, now would we?”
“I can get him to talk,” Buzz says.
“Oh, Mr. Fitzpatrick, I am sure you could,” Kramer grins. “But would what I say be of any value? That is the question one must ask themselves when they propose torture as a means to gather information.”
“See?” Critter frowned. “I have been dealin’ with that shit for hours and hours and hours. Nearly killed him myself.”
“Can we get back to the root of all of this?” I ask. “The fact that we still need freedom to…”
“Oh, cram your freedom fantasy up your asshole, Long Pork,” Critter snapped. “What the hell do you know about freedom? What do any of us know? Not a goddamn bit, that’s what. You think we were free before Z-Day? We ain’t never been free! This country was a lie from the start and those of you that lived in your little subdivision ate that lie up like a dog eatin’ it’s own puke!”
“Could have done without that visual,” Charlie says.
“No shit,” Greta responds.
“Hush,” Stella growls.
They hush.
“I grew up where my own daddy whipped me harder than he whipped our mule,” Critter said. “That ain’t free. I was drafted and spent four years in a nasty jungle against my will. Four years of killin’ people I didn’t know enough to hate. That ain’t free.”
Critter was in Vietnam? Didn’t know that.
“I spent the rest of my life runnin’ from the
law because I wanted a piece of the lie like everyone else,” Critter continued. “That ain’t free. Now I gotta live with you losers instead of being back in my holler with a jar of ‘shine and a plate of barbecue. That ain’t free.”
He zeroes in on me and it takes all of my willpower not to look away from those intense, beady eyes.
“You don’t know what real freedom is, Jason Stanford,” Critter says. “You never have, boy. So don’t stand there and fill these people’s heads with your arguments for this and your arguments against that. You are wastin’ their time and you are wastin’ my time. We need to be back on the road and we need to be doin’ that now. So shut that smart mouth of yours and let’s get this convoy rollin’. Understood?”
Well, it’s not like I can say much to that. The crotchety old fart has a point. I may not agree with his points, but for the first time tonight, I see some small bits of hope on the faces before me.
“Understood,” I say. “But I am going to propose a change in leadership.”
“Are you now?” Lourdes sighs. “This should be good.”
“I propose Critter is in charge,” I say. “He can defer to you how he wants, and he may want to defer everything, but I’d feel a lot better if he was the man with the final vote. He’s been fighting all his life and he knows the unwritten rules of a brutal road. He’s a criminal, a rebel, an asshole, and a leader. That’s who I want telling me what to do when I die, not a soldier.”
“Now hold on a damn…’”Critter starts to protest.
“I second that motion,” Buzz says.
“And I’ll third it,” Stella says as she reaches out and takes my hand. “I think Critter would be the perfect choice.”
“Stuart?” Lourdes asks. “What are your thoughts?”
“Once again, Jace pulls the answer out of his ass,” Stuart smiles, winces, then smiles again. “The man is a survivor and I sure as shit know he won’t let power go to his head.”
“Hey, now!” Critter cries. “I don’t want the damn job!”
“Tough shit,” I say. “All in favor of Critter Fitzpatrick being the man in charge?”
“Aye!” the crowd shouts.