I’ve never really had anything resembling a relationship with a woman before. The most you could say is that I’ve fucked a few more than once. But I’ve never been one for half-measures. No one else is going to have Jenna Abbott. Because she’s mine. Body and soul. Jenna belongs to me. The words resound in my mind, persistent as a heartbeat. The club might not know it yet, but they will. And I’m gonna make sure Jenna knows it, as well.
20
Jenna
Cas slips behind the bar with me when most of the men are in the back room playing pool. “You’re coming with me after your shift,” he murmurs in my ear. His hot breath tickles my skin, and my eyes flutter closed as a flame lights low in my belly.
“Cas, be careful,” I whisper. “What if someone sees you?”
“I don’t fucking care,” he growls. There’s something up with him today: a tension and urgency in his body that I can feel as he leans into me. Between my legs, a familiar ache begins to grow, as it always does when he gets this close to me. His cock is hardening as he presses against my ass. Oh, God… We’ve been together long enough now that I know exactly what he can do to me, and exactly how good it’s going to feel when he does…
“I’ll call Jewel and see if she can keep Noah a little later,” I say in a strangled voice. Then I slide away from him before I burst into flames. He moves away to the other side of the bar, and I exhale in relief. Being around that man is dangerous when I have to pretend there’s nothing going on between us.
There’s not a whole lot going on at the clubhouse today, so I have a little more time to myself just to think and enjoy the relatively slow pace. It’s funny, but even though I have to put up with the men flirting with me, I actually sort of like working here. It’s nice to feel like I belong, for once. Since I’m Angel’s sister, I’m off limits, so I know I don’t have to take any of their B.S.’ing seriously. I get to watch from an amused distance as the fully-patched members test out the prospects, making them do their grunt work to see whether they’ll be loyal to the club. I’ve even struck up friendships with some of the old ladies. For maybe the first time in my life, I don’t feel like I’m “less than,” or like I’m not living up to anyone’s expectations. I just feel like I fit in. It’s a welcome relief from being around my father, who always seems to be disappointed in me and my choices.
My father… I breathe out a sigh as my thoughts turn to him. I’ve been kind of avoiding Dad the last couple of weeks, mostly because I don’t want to deal with his prying questions about what my future plans are. He knows I’m working at the clubhouse now, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t approve — though when I told him, he didn’t blow up like I thought he would. In fact, he was downright subdued about it, to the point where I almost asked him why he wasn’t more upset. Something’s bothering him, I think. And it seems like whatever it is goes deeper than just the reelection campaign.
My hand goes up to finger my mom’s ring as I think guiltily about the three voicemails I have on my cell phone from him. I really need to call him back one of these days, I tell myself. He does deserve at least that much. After all, it’s because of him that I have a roof over my head. Even though I’m doing a lot better financially now, and soon I’ll be able to pay him back for the damage deposit, I should probably make a point to thank him again for helping me in the first place. I resolve to be a better daughter to my dad. Heck, maybe I’ll even bring Noah over to see him for an hour or two this weekend.
My thoughts continue to ping-pong back and forth between turning over a new leaf with my dad and wondering what Cas has planned for us after I’m done working. I call Jewel and make sure she’s okay with taking Noah for a couple more hours. Somehow, I manage to make it through the rest of my shift. Then I drive home to take a quick shower, because I spilled beer on myself earlier, and really, that’s just not a sexy smell.
Cas shows up at my place about ten minutes after I get out of the shower. My hair’s still wet, and I feel a little self-conscious that I haven’t had time to dry it and put a little makeup on. But when he strides through my door and pulls me to him like I’m a glass of water and he’s dying of thirst, my disheveled state doesn’t seem to matter so much.
“God damn, I thought I was gonna go crazy back at the bar,” he murmurs in my ear. One hand goes around the back of my neck, the other to my hip, pulling me hard against him. He’s already huge with need. His lips come crashing down on mine, his mouth taking me, possessing me. I make a small sound between a gasp and a moan as I open to him.
My hips are pressing against him, the ache between my legs already almost unbearable. Cas’s urgency is contagious. I want him — I want this — now. My feverish hands go to his waistband and start to fumble open his fly.
“No,” he growls, grabbing my arm. “Not here.”
I catch a ragged breath and try to focus on what he’s saying. “Where, then?” I’m confused. I can’t see why he’d rather take the time to go to his place. It’s not that much different from mine, other than it’s nicer, and has a larger bed.
But apparently he’s determined. “Come with me,” he rasps. He hasn’t let go of my wrist, and starts to pull me out the front door.
“Uh, Cas?” I begin, pulling back on my arm and halting in my tracks.
“Yeah?” He bites the word out, clearly impatient.
“Maybe I should — you know — put some clothes on first?”
For the first time, he seems to notice that I’m only wearing an oversized T-shirt.
“Oh. Yeah,” he mutters. “Well, okay. Hurry up.”
His tone is gruff, but I know it’s not anger — at least, not at me. Still, I don’t waste any time. I go into my tiny bedroom and stare at the closet. I consider what to wear for a moment, but then tell myself that wherever it is that Cas is taking me, it’s likely I won’t be wearing clothes for very long.
In the end I just pull on a pair of jeans and a tank top, then pull my hair into a pony and walk back out in to the main room. Cas is already standing impatiently at the front door, and pushes it open to let me go through.
Outside, the air’s already starting to cool, the sun about halfway down its descent to the horizon. Cas gets on the bike and I climb on behind him. I take a moment to breathe in deeply and relish the solid warmth of him — the deep comfort and masculinity of a powerful man on a powerful bike.
I wrap my arms around his waist and snuggle close. Then he fires up the engine and we drive out into the evening, leaving Tanner Springs behind.
21
Jenna
It’s been so long that I’ve forgotten all about this place. I can’t figure out where he’s taking me until we’re practically there. But when he takes the last turn onto the dirt road, something snaps into place in my head. I start to laugh against his chest, the sound drowned out by the engine.
“Why are you laughing?” he growls as he looks back at me, but his eyes are twinkling.
“You’re seriously taking me to this run-down old place?” I call out, my tone teasing.
But I don’t mean it. Not at all.
It’s the old motor home. The place Cas took me that first night, all those years ago.
Cas pulls in and cuts the engine. “What do you mean, run-down?” he protests. “This place is fucking classy.”
Cas waits for me to hop off the bike, then pulls it up on the stand and gets off himself. To be fair, it does look a lot better than I remember it being. The tall grass around the motor home has been mowed into a sort of yard, and the door that Cas busted off its hinges to get in has been repaired.
“Donnie fixed the place up a year or so ago,” he says, producing a key and unlocking the door. He gestures ceremoniously for me to enter. “I’d carry you in,” he tells me, “but I’m pretty sure there’s no way we’re fitting through this door together.”
Inside, the place is recognizable, but a lot cleaner and a lot more modern. It still has some of the musty odor I remember, but it’s less rough. It’s almost�
� homey, in a way. I mean, it’s no Better Homes and Gardens, but it’s a lot better than it used to be.
“Donnie never figured out who busted in back then,” Cas chuckles. “I finally told him it was me a couple years ago. He chewed my ass for it.”
“I bet he did,” I smile. “But how did you get a key? Did he give you one?”
“Yeah,” Cas grins. “I guess he thought it’d be better than having me busting his door open again.”
“Good point,” I snort. I spend a few seconds looking around. “This place isn’t bad. You could almost live here.”
“Yeah, depending on how much you wanted to rough it. There’s still no electricity.” Cas opens a cupboard and takes out a bunch of candles in simple holders. One by one, he lights them with his lighter and sets them on various surfaces, until the room is bathed in a warm, golden light.
It’s… romantic.
Or, I’m just a sucker for weird, dark, smelly trailers.
“So, you bring many of your conquests out here?” I joke, turning towards him. I expect Cas to laugh, but he freezes, suddenly serious.
“No,” he says simply. “I’ve never brought anyone else out here.”
Something in his tone makes me feel like… apologizing? “It was kind of a joke,” I stammer, feeling kind of lame. I mean, I’ll grant you, the thought of him bringing someone out here does make me feel a little jealous. But I wasn’t fishing for a denial. After all, we both have pasts. In fact, we both have almost five years of pasts since we last saw each other. A man like Cas, I know, has probably had more women than he can count in that time.
Unlike me. I can count the men I’ve been with since Cas on exactly one finger.
Being a single mom of a young son will do that to you.
Cas pulls me tightly into his arms. His length presses hard against me. “Jen.” His voice goes low and raspy. “I’ve never brought anyone else out here but you. And not just here. Anywhere, really. You’re the only woman I’ve ever wanted to have memories with. A past.” He pauses. “And a future.”
Cas is so serious all of a sudden… and he’s almost never serious. I can’t think of anything to say, but luckily, Cas takes care of that for me by lowering his mouth to mine. His lips are demanding, devouring me. His tongue swirls against mine, tasting, possessing, until I’m feeling dizzy. I cling to him, feeling the heat begin to pool between my legs. God, it’s so good with him. I’m afraid of getting used to this, but that’s just exactly what’s happening.
He grins sexily at me now, his eyes flashing in the candlelight. “I still remember how sexy you were that night. Goddamn sexiest thing I’d ever seen. You were a fucking fantasy, you know that?”
“Were?” I manage to tease.
“Are.” His lips are hard against mine, his hand holding my head fast. His tongue winds around mine, claiming it, and I let out a little moan and sing into the kiss, my heart pounding fast. After a moment, Cas pulls back, and growls almost angrily, “Fuck, you still are, Jenna. You’re in my head all the time. You know how goddamn crazy it makes me to see how all the men at the club want you? You know how bad I want to claim you? To tell them to keep their fucking hands off you and their dicks in their pants?”
The hand that was behind my head slips down to pull my hips against his, the other one sliding up to my breast. My breath hitches in my throat. “You’re mine, Jenna,” he mutters. “All fucking mine.” His hand moves under my shirt, under my bra, and he grazes my sensitive nipple with his thumb. I suppress a moan. “Tell me you’re mine,” he insists.
“I’m…” I gasp. “I’m yours.”
“Your body is mine,” he growls. “I’m the only one that gets to touch you like this.”
“The only one,” I repeat obediently, shuddering at his touch.
“I’m the only one that gets to make you come.” He presses my sex harder against him, and my eyes flutter closed as I grind my hips against him, already desperate to relieve the ache. “Tell me,” he demands.
“Yes,” I breathe, but it comes out like I’m begging. “Yes, God, Cas…”
He pulls me down onto the bed, so I’m straddling him, and as he pulls off my tank top and my bra I’m yanking his T-shirt over his head. I move my hips along his length, and God, it feels so good. His hands run roughly over my skin, cupping my breasts and beginning to pinch my nipples just hard enough to make me briefly wonder if I’m going to come just like that. I can’t wait, can’t stand much more, and when his mouth closes over one of the areolas I make a noise deep in my throat that’s almost animal. He swirls his tongue around it, then closes soft lips over it and begins to suck gently as his thumb teases my other nipple. I’m practically writhing against his cock now, my fingers digging into his shoulders for leverage. My body has taken over, my mind’s no longer even in control of what I’m doing, the only thought in my brain is now now now make me come now oh god…
Suddenly, Cas breaks away with a groan. “You’re gonna make me lose all control like that,” he rasps, and grabs my ass to set me aside. I watch as he kicks off his jeans and sets his thick shaft free. My mouth actually waters as I shimmy my jeans off as well, my eyes never leaving him. Mesmerized, I reach out and wrap my hand around him, stroking the hot, velvety skin and moving forward to take him in my mouth.
Cas hisses as my lips wrap around the large head. His skin is taut, and I love the way it feels against my tongue as I lick and stroke it. His fingers fist in my hair, guiding me as I slide him in and out, but I know he won’t let me keep doing this for long. I can tell just by the way he’s restraining himself. Sure enough, about thirty seconds later he pulls himself away from me, ignoring my moan of protest. Then before I even realize what’s happening, I’m on my back, and he’s on his knees in front of me.
“Jesus Christ,” Cas groans as his head slicks against my soaking lower lips. “You’re so fucking wet for me, Jenna. You’re wet for me.”
“Yes,” I tell him. “For your cock.” I never talked dirty before, but with Cas there’s just something about his cock that makes me want to call it that. It’s so massive, so huge. It is a cock, if ever there was one. He’s sliding the head along my pussy lips, gliding it around my clit, and my thighs tense as I angle my hips toward him. It feels fucking amazing, the heat of his skin against my wetness like that. I’m wound up tight as a rubber band, and I know he knows it. “Cas,” I urge him, and bite my lip, waiting for him to free me from the exquisite torture. “Please… I need it… Oh, God, I need you right now, just like this…”
A low noise, almost like he’s in pain, comes from deep in his throat as I strain toward him. Then, finally, he shifts on his knees and slams deep inside me, the top of his shaft sliding against my sensitive nub. Oh, God, yes! I’m so wet I coat the length of him, so when he pulls out and slides in again, it’s slick and perfect and delicious, and he rides me, watching me as I arch my back, hard, and shatter, my channel clutching him. Cas pulls back and drives himself into me, harder, harder, filling me with his cock and prolonging my orgasm as I call out his name. Then, I literally feel him get larger inside me, and he tenses and explodes, filling me with white-hot heat as the pleasure rockets through me.
“You’re mine,” he whispers against my ear as he holds me to him.
“I’m yours,” I whisper back.
22
Cas
“I’m yours,” she whispered, trembling in my arms.
Her words are still echoing in my head the next day. Last night was… well, fuck. It was incredible. I still can’t quite believe that Jenna’s back in my life, let alone that I want her — or any woman, for that matter — to stay in my life.
But one look at Jenna’s body, full and lush in the candlelight, and it’s not only lust I feel. It’s goddamn reverence. My throat almost closes up with the beauty of her. As she came shuddering in my arms, and I released myself deep inside her, all I could think about was how I couldn’t imagine not having Jenna in my life. I’d never even considered what it would b
e like to spend my life with a woman before. But last night, as she fell asleep in my arms, my mind was reeling with how much I’d changed in just a short time. Because of her. Because of this. Because of how right it all felt.
I’m still thinking about all of it as I walk out of another tense club meeting with Angel today. Rock brought another proposal to the table for the club to consider. Apparently, Abe Abbott is looking for a loan, to finance his stalled development project on the south side of town, and he came to Rock to find out if the club was willing to front him the cash.
“Why’s he coming to us for this?” Skid barked, his face a mask of suspicion.
“Probably because the bank won’t help him,” I said. “Pretty damn bad news if a bank won’t cough up a loan for the mayor.” Next to me, Gunner snorted.
“How the fuck are we gonna give him a loan when we don’t have enough cash to even pay ourselves?” Brick complained. “Makes no damn sense.”
“We got enough to do this,” Rock cut in. “We can get it, anyway.”
“I dunno,” I said, shaking my head. “There’s been a lot of rival MC activity out there from the Iron Spiders. Seems like we could spend a lot of goddamn time and effort protecting our assets if we get involved in this shit.” I looked around the table to see a few of the brothers nodding.
“We can handle it,” Rock growled. “The fuckin’ Spiders aren’t gonna stop me from doin’ what I want.”
BEASTLords of Carnage MC Page 29