The gun goes off. The noise is deafening.
But the sight of what I’ve done is even worse.
33
Cas
When I pull up to the address Angel sent me, every nerve ending is on high alert. I’ve got my piece tucked into the back of my waistband, and I’m scanning the terrain for any sign of danger.
A couple of the brothers are already here, judging from the bikes parked out front, but I don’t see Angel’s yet. As I pull up next to the others and stop the bike, I realize with a shock of recognition where I am.
This is Abe Abbott’s house.
And the front door’s wide open.
As I walk cautiously toward the place, I see it’s been broken into. A couple of the small front windows next to the door are smashed in. When I walk through the front doorway, I see the place has been tossed. Inside, Rock is standing in the living room with Hawk and Skid.
“Looks like a home invasion," Rock says dismissively when he sees I’ve arrived.
“Jesus,” I swear. Tanner Springs doesn’t normally see this kind of shit. Especially not at the mayor’s house. “Does Abe know about this yet?”
“Abe’s gone.”
“What do you mean, gone?” I ask. “Like, left? Or like disappeared?”
Rock shrugs. “Dunno. He’s AWOL. I haven’t talked to him.”
Something feels off to me. Rock and Abe aren’t exactly best buddies, but they’ve been business associates for years. The number of deals they’ve done under the table with each other alone ought to make Rock more concerned about him than he seems to be. I’m not expecting Rock to shed any tears here, exactly, but his indifference makes me suddenly sure something bigger’s going on that I don’t know about.
A few of the other brothers arrive as we’re talking, and wander into the front room with us. “Where’s Angel?” I ask.
“He’s coming. I sent him on a run up north this morning. He should be back here pretty soon.” Rock turns away from me and addresses the others. “Why don’t you men go upstairs and look around. See what you can see. Grab anything interesting and report back. We’re gonna want to get this place cleaned up before the cops show.”
Fucking A. So we’re cleaning up evidence. Goddamn it. My mind goes immediately to Jenna. Her dad is out there somewhere, and it’s looking like he’s in danger. And Rock’s not telling me something.
“How did you find out about this?” I ask him as we watch the brothers walk upstairs.
“Anonymous tip,” he tells me, his tone short. “A friend of the club.”
I can tell just by the way he says it he’s not about to tell me who the ‘friend’ is.
I can’t figure out what to do. It’s like I’m paralyzed, and it’s driving me crazy. I need to know what’s happening, but Rock’s a closed book, and I know better than to push him on it. I want to call Jenna, but I can’t until I at least have some information for her. And I have to talk to Angel, most of all, but he’s not here yet, and until he shows, there’s no way I’m gonna be able to get enough pieces of this puzzle to put it together.
About fifteen minutes later, Angel finally pulls up outside. I’m about to go out and meet him when my phone buzzes. It’s Jenna. I almost shut it off, not wanting to talk to her until I have more information. But then the hairs on the back of my neck begin to prickle: Jenna wouldn’t be calling me right now unless something important was up.
I press answer and step out into the hallway. “Hey.”
“Cas!” Jenna’s voice is frantic on the other end of the line. “Oh my God, Cas. Something’s happened. I need help.”
Shit. “Okay, okay. Calm down. Tell me what’s wrong.”
I listen in disbelief and mounting rage as Jenna tells me her asshole landlord broke into her place when she and Noah were there.
“He had his key,” she says breathlessly, her voice high and strained. “He opened the door before I could do anything to stop him. His nose was broken, and his face was all bandaged up.” Jenna stops talking for a second, and I can hear her take a few deep breaths. I can tell she’s working hard to stay calm. “He… he told me that my dad has a price on his head, Cas! He said he was going to bring me to the Iron Spiders for leverage… but then Noah…” Her voice breaks, and it takes all the control I have to wait for her to continue. Finally she calms down enough to keep going. “Then Noah came out, and he said he was going to take Noah instead!” Jenna starts to cry. “He started to go toward Noah, and… I shot him… Cas, he’s dead! He’s here, lying out there on the living room floor. I don’t know what to do!”
Holy shit.
The Iron Spiders. They’re involved in this. Some of the missing pieces appear and try to assemble themselves in my mind. The Spiders were the ones behind Charlie Hurt being so scared he was willing to risk anything not to give me their names.
But Hurt was working for Jenna’s dad, too. Wasn’t he?
Or were the bugs in Jenna’s apartment the Spiders’ work, too?
Jesus. This is all much bigger than I could have realized. I think back to what Hurt said when I tried to get information out of him.
“You think it’s Abe I’m scared of? It’s not Abe, man. There’s nothing you can do to me that’s as bad as what they’ll do if I tell you. Nothing.”
On the other end of the line, Jenna continues to sob. “Okay, baby,” I soothe her. “It’s gonna be okay. Trust me, okay? Jen?”
“Okay,” she says in a small, trembling voice.
I try to think. “Tell me, has anyone downstairs at the tattoo parlor come up to investigate the noise?”
“No,” she whispers. “I think they must be closed.”
I breathe a sigh of relief. The guys at Rebel Ink are geniuses as artists, but they’re shitty businessmen. This is the first time I’ve ever been glad they have a tendency to close whenever the mood hits them.
“Okay, Jen, look baby, hold tight,” I tell her. “I’ll be there really soon, with the MC. Just keep Noah away from the body and don’t answer the door until I text you it’s me.”
I get her to agree, and then I hang up the phone. For a second I feel guilty that I didn’t tell her about her dad, but I don’t want to risk pushing her over the edge. Not until I can be there to catch her if she falls.
Angel is just walking in as I slide the phone back into my pocket.
“Brother,” I greet him, giving him a quick embrace and a clap on the back.
“What the fuck is going on here?” he asks, looking around at the devastation.
“Break-in,” I tell him. “Your dad’s gone.”
“Who has him?” Angel demands. Rock walks up in time to hear the question.
“Hard to say,” he answers evenly.
“Angel,” I say, “I think this might have been the Iron Spiders.”
“The Spiders?” Angel repeats, not comprehending. Then his face changes. “Was he in business with them?”
I nod. “I think so.”
I tell him what I know, piecing what I can together and trying to guess at the rest. When I’m finished, Angel is looking at me in amazement.
“God damn,” he says, looking at Rock. “Did you know this?”
Rock snorts. “No, I didn’t fucking know it,” he spits. “Not for sure. Not until now. Goddamn piece of shit is lucky to be alive.”
If he is alive, I think.
“Fuck. We have to find him,” Angel declares, shaking his head.
“No,” Rock barks. “Abe had this coming. Whatever happens to him now is on his own head.”
“Rock. He’s my fucking father.” Angel looks him hard in the eye. “Traitor or not. I have to at least try.”
“Yeah,” Rock growls, his jaw pulsing. “Which is the only reason why I’m not sending out the whole MC to find him and fucking kill him right now.”
He turns away and stomps off upstairs, leaving the two of us here alone.
“I have to go try and find him, Ghost,” Angel says grimly, turning to me. “He’s a
piece of shit, but he’s my father. And Jenna’s.”
Fuck! I have to tell him about Jenna. “I know,” I reply. “Look, there’s something else you need to know. Jenna just called me. Her landlord, Charlie Hurt — turns out he was on the take for the Spiders, and maybe your dad. He just broke into Jenna’s place and tried to take her and Noah. Jenna shot him.”
“Jesus fuck!” His eyes narrow in anger. “Is she okay?”
“She is, but he’s not. She killed him.” I let out a breath. “You know I’d come with you to look for your dad, but I’ve got to get to Jenna first, Angel. She’s freaking out. Fucking Hurt’s lying in a pool of blood on her living room floor.”
“No, you’re right.” He’s shaking his head. “You go to her. Take some brothers with you. We don’t know for sure whether the Spiders have my dad yet. I’m gonna go on the assumption he got away in time. Anyway, if he didn’t…” He trails off, looking around the wrecked house.
I nod. “Yeah. I know.”
If he didn’t, we’re probably too late.
34
Cas
With Rock’s okay, I take five of the men with me to Jenna’s place, including two in one of the club’s vans. We pull up just as the sun is setting.
Which is gonna be useful for the next couple of hours.
I text Jenna as we’re climbing the stairs and she opens the door, white-faced and frightened. “Noah’s in my bedroom,” she whispers as she lets us in.
“How is he?” I murmur, drawing her into my arms. For a moment, she collapses against me, and I realize how tightly she must have been holding her emotions in, waiting for me to get there.
“I think he’s okay,” she says shakily. “He didn’t see… what I did.” Her breath hitches and she pushes down a sob. “I made him run to the bedroom and close the door. He was scared of the loud noise, and I just told him I slammed the front door really hard.” She manages a wobbly laugh. “I guess I should be glad he’s still young enough to believe me when I tell him unbelievable things.”
“Sshhh,” I whisper, grazing my lips across her forehead. “Let’s go check in on him, okay?” I lead her through the living room, past the brothers who are already starting to work on cleanup. Jenna averts her eyes and shudders slightly as we pass.
Pushing open the door to her bedroom, I wait for her to walk through it and then close it behind us. Inside, Noah is sitting in the middle of the bed, a small, frightened-looking animal, clutching Chip-Chip.
I sit down on the bed and give him a smile. “Hey, buddy,” I say softly.
Noah doesn’t say a word. He just crawls over and climbs into my lap.
I look over at Jenna and raise my eyebrows. Her expression softens as she watches us. I put an arm around Noah and slide myself back against the headboard. He leans into my chest and closes his eyes.
“Wow,” I mouth at Jenna.
Jenna slides up beside me and takes my hand. The three of us stay like that for a few minutes, not speaking. Soon, I hear and feel Noah’s breathing even out. He’s fallen asleep. I look over at Jenna, and I see she’s realized it, too.
“He’s… had a pretty rough day,” she murmurs.
“Sounds like he’s not the only one.”
She laughs softly and nods. “Yeah, even for me, this is not going to go down as one of my better days.” She glances over in the direction of the living room. “What’s going to happen to… him?” she asks, a note of fear in her voice.
“The men will take care of the body,” I tell her.
“What about the police?” Her lip trembles. “I don’t want to go to jail, Cas.”
“Sshhh, Jenna,” I say, tightening my arm around her. “It’s gonna be okay. The club’s got… well, let’s just say the club’s got a reasonably good relationship with law enforcement around here. Sometimes they can be encouraged to look the other way.” I think for a moment. “And as far as I can tell, Hurt isn’t someone who had a lot of relatives who’ll be asking around about what happened.”
“Are you sure?” she whispers.
I nod and kiss the top of her head. “Don’t worry, babe. It’s gonna be alright.”
We sit like that, quietly, for a couple of minutes. Jenna clings to me tightly, and I wait until I can feel the tension in her body begin to ebb out of her. Finally, when I feel like I can’t put it off anymore, I take a deep breath.
“Jenna, I need to tell you something,” I begin. “I probably should have told you over the phone, but I wanted to do it in person. It’s about your dad.”
I tell her about the text I got from Angel, and what I found when I got to the address he sent me. “I didn’t recognize the address at first, until I got to the house. The place was trashed, and your dad is gone.”
“Oh, my God,” she breathes. “Do you think he’s been kidnapped?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “Either that, or he realized that the Spiders were coming for him and got out in time.” I look over at her stricken face, and my chest constricts. “Angel’s out looking for him,” I add quickly. “If he’s out there to be found, your brother will find him.”
What I don’t say — and what I sure as hell hope she doesn’t ask me — is what will happen to him if the Spiders find him first.
Jenna begins to cry softly. I don’t know what else to do but hold her, and let her. The sun goes down, and it grows dark, until the only light in the little room is the tiny lamp on the bedside table. Time passes, and I hear the brothers moving around in the other room. Finally, the front door closes for the final time. They’re gone, and we’re alone.
I must fall asleep, because when I wake up the three of us are still lying on the bed. Noah’s curled up into a little ball, his thumb having drifted into his mouth at some point. I stand and pick him up, then carry him to his room and tuck him in.
When I come back, Jenna’s awake. She gives me a small smile as I kick off my shoes and climb back into bed with her. “Hey, there,” I murmur, kissing her softly.
“How’s Noah?” she asks, glancing toward the door.
“He’s good. Out to the world.” I chuckle. “Oh, to be young again, and be able to sleep like that.”
“He really seemed to need you to comfort him,” she says slowly. There’s a strange expression on her face.
“Sometimes a boy needs a man to look up to, I guess. It must be rough on Noah sometimes, not having a dad.” I glance at her. “Not that you’re not doing a great job with him, Jenna. You’re a terrific mom.” I stop for a moment, considering my words. “Besides,” I continue. “Now that you’re my old lady, Noah’s my responsibility, too. We’re a family. Right?”
Jenna’s reaction isn’t at all what I’m expecting. Her lip trembles, and then suddenly she bursts into tears.
“Hey, hey!” I say, alarmed. I take her face in my hand and turn it to mine. “Jesus, Jenna, I’m sorry!” I guess the stress of the day must still have a hold on her. Not surprising; it’s not every day you have to kill a man in your own living room.
“No, no,” she sobs. “It’s… it’s not you…” She shakes her head furiously. “Cas, oh my God, I’m such a fool. I’m so sorry…”
“Jenna, calm down, baby. It’s okay,” I soothe. “Tell me what’s wrong.” There’s a strange germ of an idea forming in my head, but I force myself not to jump to conclusions. “Come on, Jen,” I urge her, pulling her back into my arms. “Talk.”
Finally, she manages to calm herself enough to speak. Jenna pulls herself upright and draws away from me, until she’s facing me and we’re no longer touching. She pulls her legs in tight and hugs them against her chest.
“Cas,” she whispers as she looks at me. Tears continue to stream down her face. “You’re Noah’s father.” She takes in a shuddering breath and squeezes her eyes shut. “I should have told you. I should have told you so long ago… I’m so sorry.”
It feels a little like I’ve been punched. Of all the things she could have been preparing to say, this one leaves me speechless.
For a moment, it’s like the words can’t quite penetrate my brain.
Holy hell.
Noah’s mine? I’ve been a father for four fucking years, and I never knew it?
In a daze, my mind goes back to that summer when Jenna and I were first together. All that time since, all the months and years after she left, I’ve been just living my life, with no idea I had a kid. And Jenna’s been doing it all on her own. The pregnancy, the birth, raising him… without anyone to help her.
Why did she never tell me?
Damn Jenna and her pride. As long as I’ve known her, she has the toughest time accepting any help from anybody. Another girl would have come home and leaned on her family during the pregnancy, and the birth. Not Jenna, though. My chest aches a little bit to think about how alone she must have felt through all of it.
But why not me? Why didn’t she ask the father of her child to help her?
Because she didn’t want to push you into it. The answer comes to me immediately. Jenna would never want to think you were with her just because there was a baby on the way. She’d rather be alone than be a charity case.
I haven’t said a word since she told me. I’ve just been sitting here silent. I look over at Jenna to see she’s opened her eyes again. She’s looking down and away from me. Her jaw is tense, her posture rigid. I realize she thinks I’m angry with her. And to be honest, I am.
But the anger I feel isn’t anything compared to the other things welling up inside me.
Joy. Pride. Love.
A little fear, if I’m honest.
Holy fuck. I’m a father.
I have a son.
And Jenna Abbott, the one woman who ever made me slow down and think about settling down, is his mother.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask, even though I sort of know the answer. I need her to tell me why.
She looks down at her hands. “Because we told ourselves it was a mistake back then. I never wanted Noah to think he was a mistake. I never wanted anyone to think he was a mistake.”
BEASTLords of Carnage MC Page 35