Letter to My Teenage Self

by Grace Halphen

  5) As far as your career path goes, if you think there’s something you want to do, or there’s something you love doing or you’re good at, then please follow your passion. Reach for your dreams! Some dreams really do come true – we have seen it happen! Even if the career counsellor at school tells you that you can’t be a pilot because you don’t have perfect eyesight – just ignore them! In the future they’ll have great new technologies like laser eye correction surgery which will make their point null. Anything is possible in the future and it’s WAY too early to give up on your dream at your age, or ever! If you don’t know what you want to do then that’s also fine. Just make sure you keep an open mind and try finding a hobby. You will find your way.

  6) We know Mum and Dad and your brother and sister annoy you but this is normal, and in the future you will understand them better and hopefully even be friends with them. We would recommend that you try to have patience in this awkward stage.

  7) Remember we are our journey so all the turns you make will shape you. You are learning and will always keep learning. No one really has it figured out – they’re all just pretending – so make sure you have a lot of fun along the way. Your happiness is your choice so CHOOSE to be upbeat, motivated and brilliant. Do not let others define you!

  Copyright Cybele Malinowski

  Missy Higgins started singing when she was in her early teens, in Melbourne, and has become one of Australia’s most popular artists since winning the triple j Unearthed competition in 2001. Her debut album The Sound of White, featuring the singles ‘Scar’ and ‘The Special Two’, won the ARIA Album of the Year and went platinum nine times.

  Dear 13-year-old Me,

  Look, I’m going to be honest: this year is going to be your toughest yet. You won’t feel certain of anything. The world will sometimes feel like it is literally shifting underneath those brown leather T-bars of yours. That girl at school who you’re afraid of: the one that everyone wants to be like, who pinches the back of your arm painfully every time you walk by? She is just a sad, sad person. I know it’s hard to feel sympathy for her when you’re currently fantasising about punching her in her stupid face, but at least try not to take it too personally and be glad you’re not her.

  Man, you don’t know it now but there are soooooo many new hormones and stuff coursing through your veins that just make everything seem so emotional and raw, and HARD TO DEAL WITH. Believe me, when you get a bit older, life turns from a rickety old horror movie roller-coaster into a cruisy party sailing boat on a silken sea. OK, that’s maybe an exaggeration but you get what I mean. Things will fall into place like a pro in a Tetris game. One by one. Stuff just begins to make sense.

  Right now there are moments when it feels like you’re never going to belong anywhere, right? That you’re just too different? That no one could possibly understand a freaky alien like you? Well, just know this: some day in the not-too-distant future you’ll realise that those qualities make you SO RAD. Seriously. Possibly even the exact things you’re being teased for right now at school are the exact things that will gain you respect and many-a-high-five once you’re out into the real world. Don’t get me wrong, there are bozos everywhere who won’t get you, even when you’re 40 (and don’t get me started on Twitter trolls) but unlike at school, when you’re an adult it’s easy to find people who get you and love you and accept you for who you are. And when you find those people, you’ve gotta pull them all real close and don’t let them go. They are your friends for life. Bugger the rest!

  Little friend, as the years go by your little guarded heart will unfold bit by bit, it will. You’ll even learn to see the similarities between you and strangers, and realise we’re not all so different after all. In fact you’ll begin to see that most people are fundamentally the same, underneath all the many many layers of crap we build up over time to protect our papier-mâchéd hearts. You’ll realise none of us has a friggin’ clue what we’re doing or how to live, we’re just all doing the best we can. You’ll be sad sometimes, I can’t promise you that you won’t because everyone gets sad. Some more than others. But you’ll learn ways to deal with it (like exercising and not taking drugs … also calling your sister and just talking and talking until the tightness dissipates) and importantly you’ll notice that like everything, sadness comes and goes. Accepting the ride is often the hardest part. That and asking for help.

  Honestly, darling, being a teenager sucks. I know it does. Being liked, being popular, being skinny, being pretty, getting good grades, pleasing your parents … blurgh. Don’t worry about those things. And please don’t diet. Despite what ALL the magazines seem to be telling you, it’s much better to be healthy than skinny. I know it feels like maybe the only thing that you can control in such a crazy, unpredictable world, but it is not the answer. Also, don’t worry about your grades! If you really want to go to uni and get a degree, great. But if not, you should know that almost none of your friends who go to uni will end up using their degrees to get a job and all of them are still paying off their uni debts! If you know what you want to do, just get out there and find a way to do it! Be an apprentice, start from the ground up. Doing what you love is the most important thing in the world. But you’ve got a lifetime to figure out what that is. You’ve got a lifetime of learning, it never stops. And it’s a cliché, I know, but life really does just get better and better. I promise. All you have to do right now is SURVIVE.

  And know that I love you.

  Love from older you.

  xxxxxxx

  Natasha Jessica Stott Despoja AM is Australia’s Ambassador for Women and Girls. A former politician and former leader of the Australian Democrats, she was a Democrats senator for South Australia from 1995 to 2008. Stott Despoja hails from Adelaide and was appointed to the Senate at the age of twenty-six.

  If you thought being Class Captain at the beginning of Year 8 was a one-off, you may need to reconsider.

  It serves as a good introduction to leadership and duty; however, your teacher does insist on being greeted as ‘Hail O Great One!’, which provides a lesson in not always taking hierarchy too seriously.

  Public service and public life will feature in your future, but be sure to maintain your sense of humour and always do your homework.

  Your love of ballet, music and the arts will not wane. But you must cultivate it. Don’t lose sight of the beauty and music in life. Perhaps schedule a little more time for cello practice.

  Make time for the little things.

  If you think life gets slower, it doesn’t.

  Your career options will not narrow as a result of your decade of ballet training coming to an end. You will go on to bigger and different things.

  This is the year you cut your long hair. The shoulder-length blonde bob will serve you well for the years to come, but don’t worry, in the next few years you will experiment with everything from short hair (even shaved a little) to different colours.

  Keep your sense of style and try to have fun with clothes. Dressing up in a nice frock does not lower your IQ. It is about choice, no matter how women are portrayed. You’ll see those superficial and double standards up close soon enough.

  This is the year your history teacher will tell you off, albeit jokingly, for ‘soiling’ your text book with ‘feminist’ propaganda: you did put a women’s liberation symbol on the cover of your history workbook.

  Stay vigilant. If there is one thing we learn in the Women’s Movement, it is that rights can be reversed and progress can slow.

  Your role models include Senator Janine Haines and the author Germaine Greer. You will meet them both, and follow in the path of that pioneering Democrat Senator. She will launch your campaign to be a Senator in little over a decade.

  That schoolgirl crush you have developed on that new boy in Year 8 won’t go far. But you’ll meet up at your school reunion in many years to come and laugh about it.

  Know that you will have your heart broken at least once while you’re still pretty young bu
t real love will be intoxicating and special in a way that can’t make sense right now.

  You already understand, though – through your mum’s life and work – that not all relationships are safe and sound. Gender equality and keeping women and children safe will be lifelong passions.

  You know now how brave and feisty your feminist journalist mother, Shirley, is but you’ll sharpen this perspective over the next few decades. Besides, you won’t really cause her too much trouble in your teenage years, I promise!

  Education is the key to so many things. It is the great equaliser.

  Your mum has worked hard to get you a great education, but fees for tertiary education would break her. So watch out for the insidious debate about user-pays education.

  That debate will grow, and you will become a key part of the fight for accessible and publicly funded education.

  Your school motto ex unitate vires – ‘in unity is strength’ – is a belief that will guide you.

  You will support those who are like-minded, even at some personal and professional cost.

  Integrity is everything and you won’t lose yours.

  Copyright Collingwood Football Club

  Nathan Buckley is a former professional Australian rules football player, best known for his time as captain of the Collingwood Football Club in the AFL. He is currently the senior coach of the Collingwood Football Club.

  Nathan,

  Knowing you well, I’m not sure if much of this will be absorbed!!

  On the other hand, I know how sensitive you are to what people think of you, how influenced you can be by how they treat you and how the importance of ‘being a good person’ has become a big part of your make-up.

  There are only two things I want to say to you today. The first is: you are special just as you are.

  There will be moments of joy and sadness. You will feel pride and feel embarrassment. You will feel favoured at times and isolated in others. All of these emotions and events are to be embraced. They will teach you more about yourself and others. You will learn about your passions and your dreams through them.

  One of the biggest influences on your happiness in the future will be to know yourself. To acknowledge the strengths you possess and to let them shine as often as you can. Don’t be afraid of being less than perfect. It’s OK.

  The second is: be grateful for your life.

  You have a loving family who care deeply for you. Your mum and dad have sacrificed much to provide you with the opportunity of a good education. You have a roof over your head and you never go hungry or want for the necessities in life.

  The best way for you to remind yourself of these is one simple activity that will keep everything in perspective for you. Each night before you go to bed, write down three things that you are grateful for in your life. Keep looking for those things and you will always remember how blessed you are and, just as importantly, you will be in a great place to help others feel the same.

  Live large, love freely and enjoy every moment.

  Lots of love,

  Your future self

  Nick Lee is the Founder and CEO of The Jodi Lee Foundation, which he established soon after his wife Jodi lost her battle with bowel cancer in 2010. Leaving his role as a director of a multinational consumer goods company, Nick set out to help raise awareness of bowel cancer and educate people about the importance of screening for early detection.

  Here is some advice to my teenage self …

  You never know what’s coming around the corner. Your life can be changed in a heartbeat. Make the most of your opportunities. Live life to the fullest.

  Don’t sweat the small stuff and concern yourself with matters you can’t control. There are so many things in life that are not worth worrying about. Too much stress can lead to health problems. Don’t keep things bottled up – let them go.

  Your happiness in life will largely be dictated by the relationships you have with your family, friends and colleagues. The best way to build and deepen your relationships is by making other people feel good. Ask yourself each day, ‘What have I done to make someone feel good?’ Try to be there for people when you are needed most.

  Stand up for what you believe in. You will come across many doubters in your life. Don’t let them get in the way of what you believe in and want to achieve. Have the courage to say ‘no’ if something doesn’t feel right.

  The more you put in the more you take out. Have a crack, jump in, don’t procrastinate. You miss 100 per cent of the shots you don’t take. Seek out new life experiences whenever you have the opportunity.

  You will make mistakes – you’re only human. Realise your mistakes, don’t hide from them. Take responsibility and don’t be afraid to say you are sorry. Your most important lessons come from making mistakes.

  You can’t control what happens to you but you can control how you react to it. If you get knocked down, get up! Try to make the best of every situation. Life will serve you many road bumps but just keep going.

  Your integrity is so important. If you are honest, trustworthy and don’t judge others, you will be happy with who you are. Don’t be influenced by what other people think. Be your own person and people will respect you for it.

  You don’t know everything – ask questions, be curious and, above all, listen.

  Take time to appreciate things and maintain childlike wonder. There are many beautiful things in this world – enjoy them. Don’t let yourself get so bogged down in life that you miss out.

  Your health is the most important thing. Invest in it so you can enjoy a long and healthy life. Follow your passions and believe in yourself. Work hard and love every minute of it. Look after yourself and the people you love, and laugh a lot.

  Paul Bangay is one of Australia’s most renowned landscape designers. His beautiful and classically inspired gardens are celebrated around the world for their symmetry, rich detail and interesting palette. In 2001, Bangay was awarded the Centenary Medal for his contribution to public design projects, and has had his gardens displayed in many publications.

  Dear 13-year-old Paul Bangay,

  I am writing to you with all the experience and knowledge you have gained over the next 39 years. Your career in landscape design has served you well: it’s facilitated much travel and financial security, allowed you to publish nine books and, most importantly, to indulge your passion. Passion has been key to your success; you can now, at the age of 13, already feel this passion as you potter around your parents’ garden and experiment with neighbours’ and friends’ garden spaces. Follow this passion and do everything in your power to nurture it. This will involve travelling the world to explore gardens and new trends in landscaping, reading as many books and magazines as you can and, most importantly, experimenting. Experimentation is also key to success: don’t be afraid to take risks and make mistakes. Even now, at my stage of life, I still make mistakes and am proud to own them. It’s only through having the confidence to experiment that you will succeed. I now travel every year to look at gardens in all different parts of the world. I explore new countries as I try to find new sources of inspiration. I am never afraid to step out of my comfort zone in the pursuit of new experiences and adventures.

  Confidence is key to selling your story; you will gain this by reassuringly creating more and more beautiful successful garden spaces. Every time you feel good about your result and every time a client appreciates what you have done you will gain more confidence. Everybody loves confidence: both in your personal and professional life it will be vital to your success.

  Listen to people and what they have to say, and then work out how you can weave this into your way of thinking and expressing yourself. Clients in particular need to know you have their understanding but still want your talent and interpretation of their requirements. Be true to yourself. After listening to others’ needs, don’t proceed with a project or friendship if their values and style are at odds with your own. You may lose out on one job but you will win it
back on another one where you will have far more integrity.

  At your current age I know you have decided to make a career of your passion of garden design, but I also know you think it doesn’t require a tertiary education to pursue this chosen career path. I am here now to tell you it does. My very wise father convinced me to attend Melbourne University to study a degree course in design, this is the best piece of advice anyone has ever given me and I was very wise to heed it. It’s very important to have talent but without the technical education I would have never been able to succeed as I have. It’s daunting at first but going to university was the best period of my life.

  Paul, you have a distinct advantage in having a passion that you can make a career of. Follow this as far as you can, and I promise you this will serve you well.

  Best of luck,

  Your older self,

  Paul Bangay

  Peter Alexander is Australia’s leading sleepwear designer. In 1987, he founded the brand Peter Alexander, selling designer lines of underwear and pyjamas, and it has since grown into an international company. Peter was awarded Australian Designer of the Year in 1992. He is a well-known supporter of animal rights and welfare.

  I know school is hard, but your results at school, your so-called ‘mark’ is NOT as important in life as you think, or in any way your mark in life.

  Who you are at school does not dictate who you are going to be after school. I know that remedial classes are embarrassing, I know having a stutter is hard and I know not being good at sport sucks. But again I want to say, I promise you that just because you’re labelled a D student and don’t fit in, this does not mean you’re not going to be happy and successful in life.