by Frank Kale
Chapter Seven
Phone Conversation, 8PM, Washington to Boston: After analyzing the results of households 1 and 2, Zachary teleconferenced with Samantha and Omar. As the meeting turned towards the results of the data Zachary declared emphatically, “Thus far what has been indicated by the data has been astounding! I wondered whether within the Thurmond family there would be more CMR than found within the general population. More does not express it! And so far all five family members tested positive for the trait!”
“You sound like you are happy about this,” Samantha noted.
“Sorry, that is just the scientist in me. Of course it is awful for people to be running around with this horrendous trait dormant in their system and potentially influencing their thinking on a subconscious level, but on the other hand, this could be a major breakthrough for Trait Theory!” said Zachary. “We have quite a unique population here to study.”
“Zachary I hate to state the obvious, but you have identified people who have a strong subconscious wish to eat the flesh of black people, and you are excited because this could be important for your little pet project,” said Samantha.
“I don’t think that is what Zachary is saying at all,” Omar interrupted. “I know that Zachary would not be elated to discover that potential white cannibals are running amok within the population, right?”
“Thank you Omar, of course I am not happy that this is reality. But Samantha you know as well as I do that as scientists one of the first steps in the scientific method is to gather data. And we havefound this data. We have not created this data. On a side note, I’m also thinking that I have two avenues of contingency research that seem obvious to me,” said Zachary, who then explained his plans for a grief inventory and personal adjustment assessments.
“Zachary, I hate to admit it, but those are two very good ideas. One thing worries me about all this though, you say that you have identified the CMR trait already in five family members and I will need to see that data --.”
“I’m sending my charts to your smart-phone right now,” Zachary interrupted, emailing the data charts.
“Thank you. But how do we know the CMR trait is dormant, and that these are only subconscious urges? With Windsor the urges are not subconscious at all,” said Samantha.
“Because if they weren’t subconscious then these people would not be functioning in society --.”
“Serial killers function in society all the time, think of Ted Bundy. He was just the normal plain-spoken guy next door,” Samantha interrupted.
“Yes, that is true. But Ted Bundy held a series of minimum wage jobs. The Thurmonds hold high stress jobs. The demands of a high stress job would be too much to juggle with the demands of a serial killer. Besides, there are other reasons for why the Thurmonds are not serial killers. For one thing, serial killers almost always stay within the same race when they kill. Whites kill whites and blacks kill blacks --.”
“So you are saying that because this is a desire to kill outside one’s race then it does not qualify as the desire to be a serial killer?” Samantha asked.
“What I am saying is that the CMR trait is something more than just merely desiring to be a serial killer --.”
“Merely desiring to be a serial killer? Tell all the relatives that Jeffrey Domer ate that it was a mere desire,” said Samantha.
“I’m not making myself clear, sorry. But what I am trying to say is that there are a multitude of reasons why this trait must be dormant with the Thurmond family members. For one thing, the CMRtrait is like a super-sized serial killer trait. As Windsor has described, the urges are overpowering and impact all avenues of life. He has only been able to cope because he has been able to engage in a variety of self-chosen diversions. He has not put himself in high-stress situations. The other Thurmond family members have. They are successful because of their high-level financial positions. Financial positions are inherently high stress. Studies have shown that long-term CEO’s and executives have on average shorter life spans than people with low stress occupations. If this stress had brought out the trait they would no longer be high level financial players because they would no longer be thinking about creative ways to make money; they would only be thinking about eating black flesh and their businesses would have failed. But their businesses have thrived,” said Zachary.
“As you said Windsor does not experience high levels of stress. His job is to float around and give away money, but yet all that racism is bubbling right at the surface,” Samantha reasoned.
“Yes, that is true. So I’m thinking that Windsor has a degree of the trait that is stronger. He does function in society, but just barely --.”
“Fine, I follow you. But I also read the narrative family tree, and not everyone is a huge success story. This is not an all or nothing proposition. It is not that all the Thurmond family members need to have an active trait, or none of them do. It could be that some of the Thurmond family members have an active trait, perhaps some of the family members who are not high level executives, but are teachers, or say the bartender. And so far it happens that you have tested two successful financial players and some children. You have not tested any of the quote non-exceptional people within the family, so you really have no basis to be saying what you are saying,” said Samantha.
“I still find it highly unlikely --.”
“Why? Are you just saying that to be argumentative because you can’t think of a response?” said Samantha.
“You two sound like the married couple here,” said Omar, with good humor.
More than you know…
“No, if you will let me finish, I am saying that, first, all the people who are not huge success stories I believe were women and we all know it is extremely rare for women to engage in any type of serial killing activities. Also, from the family tree I gathered that, with the exception of Windsor, the Thurmond family is a very tight knit family. If some family members had an active trait it would be noticed by the others,” said Zachary.
“Okay fine. Then what makes Windsor so different? Why is his trait active while all other family members’ traits are dormant?” said Samantha.
“You know as well as I that causality is extremely difficult to prove, so that is somewhat of an unfair question. But just because we don’t know the root, or rather, the particular etiology of what makes his trait active does not mean that we can’t observe the facts,” said Zachary.
“I think you are being very pig-headed about this, and it concerns me because it sounds like these are dangerous people, and you are just waltzing into their homes like they are members of the clergy,” said Samantha.
“You sound married again! Rebuked, but for your own good. That is the one two punch that I get all the time,” said Omar with a chuckle.
“So you really don’t have any idea what makes Windsor different?” said Samantha.
“Of course I have a theory. You know me, I always have a theory, and I’ve already mentioned it by the way, but I don’t really think you are listening to what I am saying. You’re just focused on saying what you’re saying,” said Zachary.
“I can suggest a good marriage counselor,” said Omar.
Enough with the jokes…I hope this isn’t passive aggressive behavior because he suspects something…
“I’m sorry professor--.”
“What I just said was that I believe Windsor has a version of the trait that is stronger. Therefore, it has come to the surface. Also he has implied that there have been some significantly traumatic events in his youth, these events may have brought the trait to the surface,” said Zachary.
“Concerning your first theory it would be quite easy to settle if you had tested Windsor,” said Samantha.
“Please, enough with the bickering,” said Omar.
“I apologize and admit that that was a massive o
versight on my part. I should have tested him before I left. We need to compare his results to households 1 and 2 and identify if he does indeed have a stronger manifestation of CMR,” said Zachary.
“I could do that,” said Omar.
“I don’t want you near that man!” said Samantha, almost shouting.
“I’m a big boy Samantha. I can handle myself,” said Omar, lowering his voice as if speaking to a distraught child.
“I can’t believe we are having this discussion! You want to enter the home of a cannibalistic murderous racist? Sometimes your lack of common sense Omar baffles me,” said Samantha.
“Darling I’m not going to lie on his dinner table and hand him a fork. I’ll administer whatever test Zachary is administering per his instructions,” said Omar.
“No, it is okay Omar, I want to do it,” said Zachary, who noted that Samantha had not volunteered.
She still doesn’t want to do this job does she? I didn’t think she would remain sticking to her ‘research only’ ultimatum… Or is something else going on here…
Zachary added, “There are some questions that I could ask him that would probably help too. Have you received the charts yet?”
“I’m looking at them now,” said Samantha. “Is this data accurate? This is mind-blowing…”
Figure 1: Relative Magnitude of the Covert Cannibalistic Murderous Racism (CMR) trait for households 1 and 2.
For the duration of the study, Zachary would compare Thurmond household members’ CMR results with control group CMR results. The control group consisted of 100 randomly selected individuals from diverse demographics, as is the standard in research diversification. One week earlier, when testing for the CMR trait in the general population Zachary had made the prediction to Samantha and Omar that the control group score would be zero, “Let’s call a unicorn a unicorn. That Windsor wants to eat black people is not something that he will share with the general population. The real question is whether some of his family members will share this trait.” Astoundingly the data confirmed that the general population had trace amounts of CMR, which was a result that no one had anticipated.
The control group’s CMR score, .001, was minute. Still, that the general population experienced any amount of CMR at all had flummoxed Dunbar and Associates. Eventually Samantha theorized that “as shocking as it is to discover that quote otherwise normal people desire to eat the flesh of another race, what we have really measured are trace elements. The levels are so low that people do not even realize that they have the smallest iota of such a desire. I think it may be a remnant of our lizard brain. We have evolved but still there remains a part of our lizard brain that desires cannibalism – though cannibalism of someone who looks at little different than we do.”
Although Omar handled administrative functions for Dunbar and Associates and did not engage in analyzing psychological data, as an African American he found this data intriguing, saying, “Obviously this is not my area of expertise. But it seems to me that you two, both white I must observe, are trying to discount the fact that white people desire to eat black people. I know our objective is to identify CMR within the Thurmond family. But we have stumbled upon something in the general population as well. And the demographic data speaks for itself; this is a white thing, not a black thing.” At that moment Zachary had peered down at the demographic data and instantly noted that Omar was correct:
Percentage of white control group participants containing trace elements of CMR: 94
Percentage of minority control group participants containing trace elements of CMR: 13
Somewhat astounded by this clear division in trace elements of the CMR trait between whites and other races, Zachary later constructed pie charts for future use in his final report:
Although these were interesting academic matters, they did not pertain to the matter at hand, and Zachary was aware that he needed to ethically balance time spent on contingency testing and the task that he had been hired to complete, Thurmond family CMR test preparation, Thurmond family CMR testing, Thurmond family CMR test data analysis, Thurmond family CMR identification, Thurmond family CMR report creation, Thurmond family CMR test result explanations, and Thurmond family therapy recommendations.
Therefore, Zachary reasoned that the approximately twenty minutes he spent constructing two more charts for contingency testing -- the results of the Philadelphia Grief Inventory and the results of the personal adjustment assessments -- was an acceptable diversion of his now-valuable time. However, he did not yet turn Omar and Samantha’s attention to those charts.
“These data sets are quite out of the ordinary,” said Samantha, still analyzing the CMR magnitude chart and making the napkin calculation that Charles, Alburt, Preston, Dwade, and Hazel had a mean CMR score of 3.62 while the control group had a CMR score of .001, and added, “It appears that households 1 and 2 experienced approximately 3,600 times the Cannibalistic Murderous Racism as the general population. Astounding!”
Who sounds excited now?
But Zachary bit his tongue, knowing that Samantha did not respond well to sarcasm, saying instead, “Yes, you are correct in your math. The so-far tested Thurmond Family members have exactly 3,620 times the amount of CMR as the general population.”
“Is that really safe?” Samantha asked.
“Please not this again. Zachary has already explained that these people would not be functioning in society if they were experiencing their CMR,” said Omar.
He comes to my defense when he should want to beat me up…
“Exactly – what has to be happening has to be an excessive degree of classical sublimation behavior --.”
“Which is why you are doing the personal adjustment inventory,” said Samantha, now following Zachary’s line of thinking.
“Yes, exactly again: I want to know how effective the sublimations have been. The personal adjustment inventory will help me glean that data,” said Zachary.
“What sublimations do you think the family is making?” Omar asked.
“I think the major sublimation is probably that many Thurmond family members are workaholics – it is hard to dwell on your subconscious desires to engage in CMR when your nose is always on the grindstone,” said Zachary.
“But there must be many other sublimations,” said Samantha.
“I’m going to keep my eye out for them,” said Zachary, “Of course, we all know that sublimations are impossible to prove, but we can at least make a case for their existence--.”
“Good. I’m now looking at the Personal Adjustment Inventory. And it isn’t quite as you’ve said. All the family members are not well adjusted,” said Samantha.
Zachary turned to the Personal Adjustment Chart, which calculated a score based on an inventory of 10 questions. There was a 10 question inventory for adults and a 10 question inventory for children:
Adult Personal Adjustment Inventory
A) Do you feel like you are not accomplishing what you were set on earth to accomplish?
Often
Sometimes
Seldom
B) Do you ever feel episodes of uncontrollable rage?
C) Do you feel like your significant other does not understand you? (If you do not have a significant other) Do you feel like your friends do not understand you?
D) Do you ever wish you were a dictator and could make all the rules?
E) Do you ever wish people would obey your every command, no matter how ludicrous?
F) Do you ever envision yourself as some kind of monster with superhuman strength?
G) Do you often think the future will become gloomier and gloomier?
H) Do you think most people do not understand your deepest inner thoughts?
I) Do you think that you do not understand your own deepest inner thoughts?
J) Without consulting a weather report, do you think it will rain tomorrow?
This inventory was followed by a 25 question norm-referenced moral dilemma assessment, containing multiple choice questions such as, “If you were hungry and had no money and no food then you should a) steal money or food from your neighbor or b) rob a bank so that you will have the money to eat for a long time.” The child personal adjustment inventory and moral dilemma assessments were similar to the adult versions but with correspondingly age-appropriate questions. Zachary planned to administer these assessments to each family member who tested positive for CMR as a means of identifying how effective their sublimations were in providing socially acceptable behavioral substitutions. And Zachary had already constructed a chart from the Personal Adjustment Inventories and multiple choice assessments collected from Charles, Alburt, Presten, Dwade, and Hazel:
A score range of 3.5 to 6 corresponded with the description (a) adjusted and content with the rules and expectations of society. A score range of 2.5 to 3.49 corresponded with the description (b) somewhat adjusted and content with the rules and expectations of society. A score range of 0 to 2.49 corresponded with the description (c) not adjusted and content with the rules and expectations of society. And as Samantha noted to Zachary during the teleconference, Hazel tested well within the not adjusted range.
Apparently impaling doll heads is just not doing it for her…
“Okay fine so we have one family member out of five who is not adjusted to the rules and expectations of society. She is a 6-year old girl. Statistically that sort of thing is bound to happen,” said Zachary.
“Yes, that is true. But it is something to keep an eye on. What was Hazel like anyway?” Samantha asked.
“Well, she did not seem very well adjusted to the rules of society, no. So I would say the tests were valid in what they were testing,” said Zachary.
“In what way did she not seem adjusted to the rules of society?” Omar asked.
Zachary paused, trying to form his words carefully. “I don’t want you all to over-react. But she has this thing where she takes the heads off her dolls --.”
“That is not that unusual,” interrupted Samantha.
“And she puts them on pikes,” Zachary finished.
“Pikes?” Omar and Samantha said in unison.
“Yes,” said Zachary.
“And where does she get them?” Samantha asked.
“Well, she constructs them I assume,” said Zachary.
“She is six-years old and she constructs pikes for doll heads?” Samantha asked.
“Yes, but I discussed the situation with her mother and she is well-adjusted in all other respects,” said Zachary.
“Except that she puts doll heads on pikes,” Samantha summarized.
“Exactly,” said Zachary, ignoring her derision.
“Well, like I said, it is something to pay attention to,” said Samantha.
“Yes, I agree, and I intend to follow up,” said Zachary. “But the interesting thing is that the father and the two boys all had violent tendencies that vanished as they aged. She is only six and it is quite probably that the same will happen to her as she matures…”
Assessment Three: Fara Graham
Relation to Windsor: Niece
Address: 4 Thompson Circle, Cleveland Park, Washington, D.C., 20008
Phillip Narrative Tree Snippet:
Fara Graham…daughter of Donald and Lily Thurmond
B. 1968. Age: 40
Profession: Teacher.
Sorry Fara I guess you are the big 40 now! Where does the time go? I remember you climbing that tree in my back yard with your sister, except you didn’t go quite so high did you? Okay, so you didn’t go past the first branch. Hey, I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t have either. Come to think of it I didn’t even get to the first branch because I never even gave it a try! So you have me beat in the tree climbing department blue eyed Fara. Yes, how can you miss those big blue eyes of Fara? Fara married Josh Graham, a fine man, a lawyer by trade (but don’t hold that against him). For years Fara took ballet lessons and she developed a wonderful style that I had the good fortune to observe on more than one occasion. I’m told that Fara is a most creative and interesting elementary school teacher. God bless you Fara, for someone has to keep that herd of youth productive and on point! But Fara’s best accomplishment is her handsome son Fayne, a young man now 20 who is sure to grow into a respectable and well-liked member of society.
The next day as Zachary drove to Fara’s household, the 3rd Thurmond household, he received another text from Jasmine. It read:
Hey Professor. Yesterday I watched a documentary about Antarctica and about how few people go there, but that the people who do go there have to take some risks. Then I realized that this meant that you would never be one of the few people to go there. Jasmine.
Zachary replied:
Lol, maybe when I finally take my long due vacation I will go to Antarctica just to spite you. Zachary.
Jasmine replied:
Sorry Professor, I am going to have to call your bluff there. Jasmine.
Zachary replied:
Good call, the pot is yours. I am now broke. Zachary.
Jasmine replied:
Huh? You know how to play poker? I am shocked because poker involves risk.
Zachary replied:
Lol and don’t get carried away: I played penny poker as a kid.
Jasmine replied:
Okay, that figures – all is right in the world again.
Fara tested CMR negative and seemed amused by the test.
“What did you keep smiling about?” Zachary asked after the testing had concluded.
“Well, I heard that this was a test about racism, but I didn’t realize how gory the actual test would be. I think I’m just smiling because i
t is a defense mechanism. This is some gross stuff and some of it seems more concerned with eating people or killing people than judging them based on the color of their skin,” said Fara, a comment to which Zachary did not respond. Because Fara (and her husband) tested negative that meant that her son Fayne -- currently at Havard -- would test (in all probability) negative too.
Although Fara tested CMR negative she could still provide valuable case history information on the Thurmond family in general, and so Zachary asked, “What do you think of, well, what is known in your family as Herod’s curse?”
“For years, and to be somewhat profane, it scared the crap out of me because of Fayne, my son. But once he turned 14 I just sort of forgot about it and considered it a silly superstition,” said Fara.
“Why 14?” Zachary asked.
“You haven’t noticed? All the boys have died between 10 and 13. So after that, as far as the superstition of the curse goes, your kid, well I should say your boy, is in the clear,” said Fara.
Zachary flipped through his notes. “You had two brothers who died, Edbert and Elvin. Okay I see what you were talking about, Edbert was 13 and Elvin was 12. And, yes, I can see that the other boys all died before 14 as well. So if now you think it is just a silly superstition why do you think this pattern might keep happening?”
“I think it is just random chance. That is the only explanation.”
“Okay, just a couple more questions and then we’ll be done. Tell me about the Yellow Daisy lodge,” said Zachary.
“I go every year. But I don’t really enjoy it. For some of the girls everything is a competition. I just like to relax when I’m on vacation. But when you hang out with my family sometimes that just isn’t possible…”
“What do you do there?” Zachary asked.
“Arts and crafts. Also we shoot arrows at targets. We fish a little. We play board-games. It is all planned in advance and is very structured,” said Fara.
“You don’t like structure?”
“I like structure – but not that much structure – everything is scheduled from 7am to 10 pm when we go to bed --.”
“Wow,” Zachary interrupted.
“Yeah, I could go for a little more spontaneity in my vacations. But that isn’t the way things are done there. And if anyone ever breaks the schedule – Oh, they hear it from a lot of the other girls. Sometimes I feel like I am at some sort of silly-game boot camp,” said Fara.
“That is funny. So what do you know about the Gray Cliff Lodge?” Zachary asked.
“Nothing, well, except what every Thurmond female knows: that the Thurmond men bring home lots of venison. I am constantly getting packages from my father. I do cook it quite frequently. I actually had a venison sandwich for lunch today,” said Fara.
“So in all likelihood they just go up there and hunt deer?” Zachary asked.
“Probably, but they surround it with all this secrecy to make it seem more important. You know, just like those silly clubs like the Elks, or the Freemasons. They don’t really have any secrets in reality – at least not anymore -- but the perception that they are the keepers of secrets makes them feel more important,” said Fara.
“Thank you,” said Zachary.
“When will we know who it is who becomes rich? Well, I mean really really rich – we Thurmonds obviously aren’t doing too badly,” said Fara, playfully motioning to her surroundings.
“I’m not sure. But I’ll let you know as soon as I find anything out…”
The remaining D.C. Thurmond households had either: a) not responded to the RSVP or b) not yet completed their consent forms, and so Zachary decided that he should next fly to California, to test Kaci, and then continue to Texas, to test Teal and Chase’s households. Later that night Zachary called Windsor who approved the proposed route and within 30 minutes had sent Zachary a first-class ticket, departure time: 7 am. Before noon Zachary had landed in California. While riding in his cab to his hotel, Jasmine sent him a text. It read:
Hey professor. Have you landed in Cali yet? I’ve heard that people in California are kind of interesting. So don’t tell people there how boring you are because they won’t like you. Jasmine.
Zachary replied:
Lol – If you have RMT and it is ever activated I bet you will try to annoy people to death…
Jasmine replied:
Don’t joke about that. That isn’t funny.
Zachary replied:
Sorry, yeah that was insensitive.
Jasmine replied:
I was just kidding. And I bet you wondered if I was – but you didn’t dare to call my bluff – because that would have been a risk.
Zachary replied:
I think you should have the PHD in psychology and not me.
Jasmine replied:
Clearly, well text me later. Bored in Boston again: I still want a repeat of our slightly adventurous night…
Zachary replied:
Roger that.
Assessment Four: Kaci Thurmond
Relation to Windsor: Niece
Address: 8542 El Paseo Grande, La Jolla, CA, 92037
Phillip Narrative Tree Snippet:
Kaci Thurmond…daughter of Charles and Cindy Thurmond
B. 1973 Age: 35
Profession: Bartender
Kaci Thurmond is quite happy mixing drinks, thank you very much, and quite good at it incidentally, because I’ve had some of her concoctions and they are perfect ten! Kaci you do your own thing and follow your own path because there are enough Thurmond go-getters out there for at least a few us not to try to take over the world! Kaci you are a sweetheart!
California: Consistent with the D.C. Thurmonds’ respective residences, Kaci lived in one of the most exclusive neighborhoods in the country: La Jolla, home to movie stars and lesser celebrities. More than once Zachary had to stop -- with considerable effort -- his neck from allowing his head to double-take a gorgeous woman who walked past.
On short notice, Kaci had agreed to a testing session. After settling into his hotel, Hotel Parisi, Zachary took a taxi to Kaci’s. Identifying himself through her intercom, she buzzed him inside. Kaci, a very attractive 35 year old, was more out-going and extroverted than the Thurmonds that Zachary had met thus far.
She immediately put him at ease and they engaged in such a comfortable manner of small talk that it surprised Zachary when he noticed that 25 minutes had passed. As they transitioned into the professional phase of the visit, Kaci completed the testing with minimal self consciousness. Result: CMR negative.
As with Fara, Zachary decided to gather assorted case history information for his final report. But before he had a chance to delve into one of his planned questions, Kaci said, “Let me ask you something: you are a psychologist and so maybe you know. I’ve often heard it said that daughters often look for men who resemble, both in looks and in ways of being, their fathers in relationships. I wish I could do that. My father is such a good hearted man. When I hear about all that he does for various charities I burst into tears. And he’s done a lot for me. There are so many success stories in my family. But I’m not one of them. Yet my father has always supported me in my pursuits. Once when I looked around and I thought that my accomplishments weren’t up to par, I considered going to medical school. My father actually talked me out of it. He said, ‘You do what is right and you follow your heart.
Don’t think I ever won’t love you. My love is unconditional.’ So I’ve bounced around. I’ve traveled the world. And I’ve done what I’ve wanted to do. Why can’t I find a man, in the romantic sense, with that kind of unconditional regard for me?”
Zachary supplied a breezy textbook answer that he remembered reading somewhere – though I’m sure Samantha would lambast me had she heard my reply -- and changed the subject, saying, “You were very young when your brothers died. You were 5 when Manfred died, and you were 8 when Aldric died. What do you remember?”
“Of Manfred I don’t remember much. I was too young. I remember playing with him a little bit. Of Aldric one of my most vivid memories was being at the funeral and seeing my mother cry. Why do you ask?” said Kaci.
“I am trying to put together a thorough case history of the family, and they are part of that history. Is there anything that you remember hearing spoken about them?” Zachary asked.
“You know it is strange Mr. Dunbar, as children we take the actions of our parents for granted. We think that is just the way that things are supposed to be done. And when I was growing up my parents said very little about Manfred and Aldric. My mother would mention their names during holidays when she said grace, but that was really it. For example, it was only recently, when I received my family tree created by my uncle Philip, that I learned that Manfred was a fast swimmer, and that Aldric liked to write fairy tales,” said Kaci.
“Why do you think that they were not discussed?” Zachary asked.
“I think it was to present a sense of normalcy for the surviving children. They didn’t want us to see how heart-broken they truly were. Although I must say that my father hid it better than my mother, because sometimes I would see my mother staring out the window and crying for no reason at all,” said Kaci.
“And your father Charles?” Zachary asked.
“He hid it better – though he was often at work – so perhaps he grieved there or during the commute or something like that…”
“Thank you Kaci. This will help me with my report,” said Zachary, shaking Kaci’s hand.
“Any front runners for the billions?” Kaci asked.
“Not yet,” said Zachary with a smile.
“It would be ironic if I won this odd contest, as I have done pretty much nothing with my life,” said Kaci.
“You think other relatives are more deserving?” Zachary asked.
“Very much so, though I suppose that no one deserves to inherit billions of dollars…”
Assessment Five: Teal Thurmond
Relation to Windsor: Niece
Address: 8802 Memorial Drive, Houston, Texas, 77024-5809
Phillip Narrative Tree Snippet:
Teal Thurmond…daughter of Charles and Cindy Thurmond
B. 1976 Age: 32
Profession: Derivatives Trader
This executive knows how to get the job done, and is a frequent flier between D.C. and Texas because she is constantly meeting with politicians from both places. Teal Thurmond is, in short, another Thurmond Family success story!
The next day Zachary flew to Texas and once he had arrived at the airport he sent Jasmine a text:
Jasmine, I just wanted to let you know that I just landed in Texas. It is hot here. Zachary.
Twenty minutes later Jasmine replied:
Typical guy, you are in some interesting place you have never been and your only observation is the weather. Jasmine.
Zachary replied:
And people talk funny… Zachary.
Jasmine replied:
So I was thinking that maybe when we get back maybe we should go somewhere – unless of course that was a one-night stand and you never want to see me again. Jasmine.
Zachary replied:
Of course that was not a one-night stand. I am not that kind of guy. I still haven’t talked to my colleagues about taking time off though. But I will, I promise. Zachary.
Jasmine replied:
Okay, I breathlessly await your reply. Lol. Jasmine.
As Zachary headed to his Houston hotel, the taxi driver struck up a conversation. They mostly talked baseball and Zachary admitted that he was a big Josh Hamilton fan.
When the driver discovered that Zachary was from Massachusetts he said, “Did you know it almost takes longer to drive across the city of Houston than it does to drive across the entire state of Massachusetts?”
Zachary replied with disbelief, “No.”
Before landing in Texas Zachary wondered if all the jokes he had heard about Texas succession would ring true and that Texas would seem like another country. However, after spending a couple days in Houston, Zachary found that he hadn’t had the opportunity to encounter any of the Texan stereotypes that he had seen so often in popular culture. No tycoons smoking big cigars, fat men driving ostentatious Cadillacs, or long bearded old men holding rifles and shouting about Yankees. He did, however, see the Lone Star state flag a lot more than he had expected.
I don’t even think I know what the Massachusetts’ state flag looks like.
But as Zachary read in his tourism brochure, Texas actually was an independent nation in the middle of the 1800’s.
As a PhD, even if of psychology, I feel like I should have known that…
After settling into his hotel, Zachary took a rental to Teal’s residence. Fortunately his hotel was on the right side of Houston because it took him only an hour to arrive. Her house was massive, over 9000 square feet, the front grounds featuring a stone fountain, coconut trees, and cul-de-sac driveway. Teal met him outside and led him into her kitchen, offering him lunch, adding, “I think we should settle into my Grand Room. It really offers the most comfort,” a room which in an ordinary home would be referred to as a living room, but Zachary noted that given the rooms dimensions its title was fitting; the room resembled a chapel and positioned close together in the room’s center were two arm chairs and a sofa facing a small leather table. With unused space abounding on the sides and a concentration of furniture in the middle, the room seemed a refuge for important people discussing important things.
I suppose the possibility of a massive inheritance fits that bill perfectly.
Zachary noted that at first Teal seemed cool and distant. However, she soon opened up and they conversed easily for 30 minutes before testing began. Zachary made the mental prediction that she would test CMR negative. However, his prediction proved to be wrong, end result: CMR positive.
Philip’s description of Teal had been short, noting that she often flew between Texas and D.C. to meet with politicians. So Zachary was surprised when she stated that she worked in finance. Zachary replied, “I had assumed you had some sort of government job.”
Teal said, “No, like most other Thurmonds I work in finance. Why did you think that?”
“Philip stated that you often meet with politicians in his narrative family tree. But I’ve also heard that he was slipping into dementia when he wrote that document. Was he off the mark?” Zachary asked.
“No, many of my clients are politicians, and I like to meet face to face when I can,” said Teal.
Teal had taken the day off from work, something she said, “I almost never do. But I’m a derivatives trader and so I’m obviously good with numbers – and the approximate odds of inheriting 3.5 billion, 1 out of 30, are too good to pass up.”
Zachary asked how she enjoyed her work as a derivatives trader.
“Warren Buffet calls derivatives financial instruments of mass destruction, an
d while I believe that as well, it is important to note that he still trades in them,” said Teal.
“Noted,” said Zachary with a smile, trying to build rapport.
“What I like about trading is that it is a zero-sum game. There is a winner on one end and a loser on the other. I’m sure you’ve heard the expression that if you don’t know who the Patsy is at the poker table then the Patsy is you – that is what trading is all about,” said Teal.
Zachary considered this statement to be representative of a possible sublimation.
The urge to bring ruin to another human…
After quickly noting this possibility, he asked Teal her opinion of Herod’s Curse.
Teal, frowning slightly, replied, “It is because of my trade, complex financial derivatives, and because of the ease with which I manipulate numbers that I find the so-called Curse of Herod to be deeply problematic.”
“What do you mean?” Zachary asked.
“Well in statistics when one event follows another a correlation has occurred --.”
Zachary interrupted Teal, informing her that he had already performed the math and had reached the conclusion that while one might have initially assumed that there would be a strong statistical significance in the correlation between male deaths in the Thurmond family and the age: 10-13, the sample size was too small for the data to hold water.
“Well, I wish it could be explained away by chance as you have concluded, but it is not a single correlation – the correlations are multiple – and though the sample size is too small to hold water as you said, it is the prevalence of correlations in this too small data set that complicates the matter and causes me to believe that this is not just the seemingly skewed fluctuations of random chance that can sometimes occur in a small data set,” said Teal.
“I want to understand you, but I don’t think I do,” said Zachary, somewhat apologetically. “And though I have a minor in statistics – it has been a while.”
“You are right when you say that in a small data set, which is specifically any data set smaller than 30, the results don’t hold water. Crazy things can happen in small data sets. For example let’s take a data set of 2 bald people. Now let’s say that both people died in separate car crashes where the car that crashed into them was black. Extrapolating from this data set, it seems to be a 100% certainty that if in the general population you are bald you are going to die in a crash with a black car – or we could say the correlation is 1. Now let’s take a data set of 100 bald people. What randomly happened with 2 people, death by black car, will not happen for 100 – never mind the general population,” said Teal.
“You’ve just supported my point that small data sets don’t hold water because random chance is much more likely to affect a small data set than a large one. And the Thurmond family is a small data set.” said Zachary.
“Yes. But here is what you have missed. When there is more than one correlation the sample size becomes less important – theoretically,” said Teal.
“Well, I see one correlation: Dying between 10-13 and being a male Thurmond,” said Zachary.
“I see three,” said Teal.
Zachary glanced at his family tree, and though numbers were running through his head he could observe no further correlations.
“I give up,” said Zachary, though still staring at the family tree.
“Here they are: (1) the correlation we just named (2) Thurmond fathers and death of a son between 10-13 and (3) First or second born Thurmond males and death between the ages of 10-13. Now it could be that all three of these correlations are pure chance, as this is a small data set. But they all have the common component: death between the ages of 10-13. As a statistician, this would seem to point to something more than, potentially, lady luck,” said Teal.
Interesting: I hadn’t noticed that this only occurred to Thurmond fathers and not Thurmond mothers…
And I hadn’t noticed that it was often a first or a second born…
“Herod’s curse has never happened when a female Thurmond conceived the child?” Zachary asked.
“Never, all the first or second born male children who died between 10 and 13 were born to Thurmond fathers, and never to any of the bloodline Thurmond mothers. Donald’s daughter Yetta, her first born Park has lived past the age of 13. He is 16 now. Donald’s daughter Fara, her first born male Fayne is 20, and so has lived past the age of 13. And finally Phillip’s daughter Laural’s first born male Sawyer is 15 and so has lived past the age of 13 – and her second born male Teddy is 13 and so is at least doing all right so far. Whereas my grandfather was a male Thurmond and his boy Henry died, though admittedly he was not a first born. The brothers Charles, Donald, and Philip are all male Thurmonds and they all had their first two male boys die. And finally Donald’s son Mick was a male Thurmond and his son Kolby died,” said Teal.
“And so if this isn’t the random chance that sometimes happens in small data sets, then what do you think this is?” Zachary asked.
“I’ve talked to my parents, my aunts, my uncles. No one has any idea. So I wouldn’t even know where to start. Besides, I’m not a detective, I’m a derivatives trader,” said Teal.
“Yes, but in your own self-interest don’t you think it would make sense to hire a P.I. if you think something shady is going on here, and have the P.I. try to figure it out. I mean you could have children someday,” said Zachary.
“Mr. Dunbar, we are a very private family. In all honesty the only reason the old men of the family, the old brothers, have allowed this testing and questioning to occur within the family is because you have a very big carrot – 3.5 billion dollars. So if I were to hire a P.I. with no carrot at all: I’m sorry he wouldn’t get very far. Doors would be slammed in his face and that is only if they were ever even opened. Besides there are two selfish reasons that cause me not to be concerned,” said Teal.
“Oh?”
“The first is that I’m 32, I’m getting on in years, and I still don’t have the urge to have children. So as a mathematician I would have to predict that I will never have children,” said Teal.
“And what is the second – wait don’t tell me,” said Zachary, suddenly realizing the answer.
At least she won’t get me on this one.
“You are a female Thurmond.”
“Congratulations Captain Obvious…”
Assessment Six: Chase Thurmond’s Household
Chase’s Relation to Windsor: Nephew
Address: 108 Timberwilde Lane, Houston, Texas, 77024-6922
Phillip Narrative Tree Snippet:
Chase Thurmond…son of Donald and Lilly Thurmond
B. 1962. Age: 46
Profession: Penal Corporation CEO
Every family needs a Texan to keep things in perspective, or rather to keep things out of perspective. Chase Thurmond has been successfully working in finance for 17 years. Every time I hear his Texan drawl it brings a smile to my lips. But as they say when in Rome… And of course most in Texas would say Texas is Rome! But enough with the Texas jokes. Our family originated in the Southland after all, it wasn’t until Norman made the Great migration North that the Thurmond family became Northerners – or Washington D.C people I should say. So in reality Chase is in keeping with the family tradition, while it is the rest of us who are the radicals! Chase has a lovely wife Jessica who makes a marvelous strawberry rhubarb pie (I’ve only had the occasion to try it once, a situation which will have to be remedied soon –hint-hint-hint!). One of my favorite things about Chase is the peculiar expressions he uses to make his points. We’ve all heard them before and though sometimes they admittedly draw groans from the peanut gallery, his ostentatious manner of speaking and his ridiculous comparisons make engaging in a conversation with Chase an event to be remembered! But what is best
about Chase is not Chase himself but the wonderful family that he has gathered around him, the aforementioned southern bell, Jessica, and his four captivating children, Nolene, Posy, Tori, and Dalton. Also, Chase makes the best ribs on either side of Mississippi and rather frustratingly he won’t breathe a word of how he does it (and though it isn’t a secret family recipe I wish it were so that he could teach it to me!).
Nolene Thurmond…daughter of Chase Thurmond and Jessica Thurmond
B. 2008. Age: 8
What a sweet ray of sunshine this fine young woman has turned out to be. She enjoys tap-dancing and playing the flute. May you continue to grow and blossom into a flower of a woman!
Posy Thurmond…daughter of Chase Thurmond and Jessica Thurmond
B. 2002. Age: 6
She loves to read. She loves to watch Disney movies. And she loves to eat cake. Oh, the joys of childhood!
Tori Thurmond…daughter of Chase Thurmond and Jessica Thurmond
B. 2003 Age: 5
If innocent and beauty could be embodied by one single child it would be Tori! She loves her dog max. And she loves playing with dolls. In you Tori all good things have been molded!
Dalton Thurmond…son of Chase Thurmond and Jessica Thurmond
B. 2005. Age: 3
Although I know Chase loves his daughters with all his heart, he made no secret that in the birth of youngest child Dalton, he was relieved to have a son who could carry on the proud family tradition – and at the age of 7 – begin to accompany him on the family outings to the Gray Cliff Lodge. But Dalton has a lot to live up to in the Gray Cliff family tradition, because Chase is a competitive family member and has acquired quite an impressive collection of merit badges. Dalton let me say to you at the time when you are old enough to read these words, that if you can shoot near as straight as your daddy then you have done your daddy proud!
Houston, Texas: Chase’s household could not meet until the next day, an unfortunate occurrence because Chase lived in the same area of Houston as Teal. Zachary took the night to analyze selected data. Because many Thurmonds shared a highly intense dormant trait, Zachary knew it was important to fully understand their family history. A good family history could indicate how the trait was being most effectively sublimated – information that might then be generalized to other intense dormant traits.
Yet, Zachary was having difficulty making sense of all the facts. Why were children in the Thurmond family dying young? What was Grey Cliff?
These were questions that needed to be answered and if not answered at least probed. And after thoroughly reviewing Teal’s Herod’s Curse analysis, Zachary reached the same conclusion he had previously reached: wild swings in a small data set. He respected mathematicians but he knew how they had a way of getting overly technical.
However, unlike Herod’s curse, Grey Cliff was a subject to which the Thurmonds held the answers, and he wanted to know more about the activities that occurred there.
As Philip describes it anyway it seems to be a crucial part of the Thurmond family psyche.
He decided that he would continue to ask questions about both Grey Cliff and Herod’s Curse during Thurmond family interviews.
Taking a break, he checked to see if Jasmine had sent him any new texts. She had not and he composed a text for her. But he did not end up sending it, thinking it too boring.
She already thinks that I don’t take risks. I don’t want to add boring into the equation as well.
He watched television but finding the shows insufferable he turned to a book, later falling asleep with the book in his hands.
The next morning Zachary reviewed Philip’s statements about Chase’s household. Chase was said to have an odd speaking style and his wife was said to make a delicious strawberry rhubarb pie. When Zachary met with this household he would have a chance to observe Chase’s speaking style, but not, unfortunately, the pie.
After Zachary administered the CMR test to Chase (result: CMR positive), he explained that while the test would be appropriate for his 8 year old, Nolene, it would not be appropriate for the younger children, Posy, Tori and Dalton, as the violence was too gratuitous, adding, “And I apologize. That was an oversight on my part. I’ll talk to Windsor and see what he wants me to do. But as I find it improbable that he is going to bestow his inheritance on a family member younger than 8, my prediction is that he may just want to let sleeping dogs lie.”
Next Zachary tested Nolene (result: CMR positive). After Jessica, Chase’s wife finished testing (result: CMR negative with no trace elements), she told Zachary that she wished to speak to him about a private matter. Zachary nodded and she informed him that Nolene had taken to punching her classmates on play-dates.
“Is she seeing a therapist?” Zachary asked, diligently scribbling the gist of her statements.
“Oh no, Chase won’t allow it. He says that it will pass. He says that he was a violent boy, but that it passed for him and that he doesn’t expect anything different for her,” said Jessica.
“Well, that sounds like a conjugal problem Mrs. Thurmond. I would suggest that you attend therapy as a family. Studies have shown that family therapy, when the entire immediate family is present, can be the most effective form,” said Zachary.
“Oh, no, Chase wouldn’t allow that: he pretends to let me get my way. But when he puts his foot down, that is that,” said Jessica.
Possible Sublimation: The choosing of a submissive wife and then acting the part of a household tyrant…
“That sounds like another conjugal issue Mrs. Thurmond. I would recommend that you continue to talk to him about the possibility of attending family therapy. I can bring it up to him if you would like,” said Zachary.
“Oh, no, please don’t do that Mr. Dunbar. He wouldn’t be happy with me if he knew we were discussing these private matters,” said Jessica.
“What do you mean ‘wouldn’t be happy?’ He doesn’t get violent does he?” Zachary asked.
“My Chasey Wasey? He is as gentle as a teddy bear. No, he is very direct with me when he is not happy. He simply says with a serious-sad face, ‘Darling I’m not happy with you.’ And to see him so sad makes me so sad. Therefore, I do everything I can to make him happy – which is why I am talking to you in confidence Mr. Dunbar,” said Jessica, while making and then breaking a nervous eye connection with Zachary.
“I understand. I don’t know what I can do though. Family therapy really is your best option,” said Zachary.
“For Nolene – what should I do about Nolene and the punching? My relationship with Chase is perfect, well, relatively,” said Jessica.
“Absent the therapy I don’t know – maybe just roll with it – enroll her in some boxing classes. That will allow her to punch as much as she likes and to do it in a venue which is acceptable in society,” said Zachary.
“Mr. Dunbar, that is a very clever thought…”
After gathering his materials, Zachary located Chase in the study and told him he would be leaving.
“So soon, my wife will soon be serving hearty portions of her indubitably mouth-watering venison lasagna,” said Chase.
“Do the Thurmonds eat anything besides venison?” asked Zachary.
“One of the reasons the extended Thurmond family is so financially secure is that we believe in the virtues of American values, such as self-sufficiency,” said Chase.
“Well I actually have to get going, but thank you --.”
“Mr. Dunbar, I wanted to talk to you about something confidential. Is that a possibility?” said Chase.
“Your confidentiality is secure with me Mr. Thurmond. What is it that you
would like to discuss?” asked Zachary, wondering if this conversation would lead to the same advised solution: boxing classes.
“I love my wife very much Mr. Dunbar,” said Chase, waiting for Zachary to reply. He nodded and Chase continued, “But there are certain subjects, male subjects, which are completely nonsensical to discuss with her. I hope you get my drift Mr. Dunbar.”
“Call me Zachary, everyone is so formal around here,” said Zachary.
“I shoot from the hip Mr. Dunbar. I like to think that if I had been born into the Wild West that I’ve have been a fast draw with a sure hand,” said Chase, pausing to let the image sink in.
For a fast draw you sure do take a long time to get to the gunfight…
Chase continued, “I like your game Zachary. You’re fighting the good fight. I bet that if you had been born in the time of WWII and you were in the trenches that you wouldn’t have been rattled Zachary. The shells would have been blasting to your left and blasting to your right, but you would have been as relaxed as white trash in a whore house. Am I right or am I right?”
The question was a logical fallacy, and so Zachary did not answer. Instead he smiled and nodded.
Chase continued, “I like that you are not a bashful man Zachary. I’m not a bashful man either. Let me get to the point Zachary. We are men and we have always been men. The moment I was born I was a man. And my boy Dalton he is a man too. He’s a young one I’ll admit that – a wee 3 years old. But he’s a tough little bugger and I know he can handle your test just fine --.”
“Is that what this was all about Chase? I’m sorry it is just not possible. He is too young and the images are too disturbing. It just isn’t even a possibility. I’m sorry but no,” said Zachary.
“I know what you are thinking. You are thinking I want my boy tested cause then my immediate family will have a better chance at that 3.5 billion. But that aint the case. Your test is about racism, pure and simple. Racism – the dirty little secret of the USA. Now I’m wagering that I didn’t do all that great – some things are just in your bones – some things are just about the way you been brought up. But I don’t want that for my boy – and I want to know how my boy is doing on this important issue of race relations, because if he is behind the bell curve it is time for me to change my parenting style, or it is time for me to change the private tutors, or it is time for me to change the television channel – I don’t know. But I want to know. I want to be the best dad I can be so I can teach my boy to not be just like me, so that he can be a person who eats with blacks, and lives with blacks, and does not feel racial slurs running through his head. I want the best for my boy – can you help me with that please sir? I respect your work, and think your work could do my boy some good. I’ve said my piece now, and I’ll let you mull it over. But while you do mull it over think about my little Dalton, and think about his future, and think about the future you could help him have. I aint asking you to move a mountain, flip it upside down, and balance it on your nose. I’m asking for a simple favor, one man to another,” said Chase, holding out his hand in preparation for a handshake, one that Zachary could not provide him with.
Although Zachary could see the situation from Chase’s perspective and even agreed with some of his points, the administration of the test in its current form was not a possibility. Subjecting a three year old mind to such graphic images could quite possibly do more harm than good.
“I see your point Chase I do – but this test --.”
“Ten thousand dollars,” said Chase.
“Excuse me?” Zachary asked, wondering in which direction the conversation (if it could be called that) was heading now.
“Ten thousand dollars – you heard correct – that is the number that I am willing to pay if just test my boy,” said Chase, again holding out his hand in preparation for a handshake: again it was a handshake that Zachary could not provide.
Zachary had suspected the possibility of a bribe offer before all testing was finished, but he had not suspected that he would be offered a bribe simply for conducting testing, or that the purpose of that testing would be so that a covert racist could find out if his son was a covert racist too.
Something doesn’t add up here…
“Chase I can see that you are a very passionate man. However, I can’t accept a bribe. But what I potentially can do is modify the test and assess your boy on a future date,” said Zachary, still trying to read past this man’s words.
“Zachary I am very much obliged, both to you and the creativity in your thinking. Like my daddy used to say: Where there is a will, by golly, there are at least ten thousand ways. And that’s a piece of advice that I sometimes forget when I’m thinking pig-headed and I’m thinking inside the box. But you took us outside the box, and after you test my boy – I know you can’t accept a bribe – but I’ll find a way to make it worth your while,” said Chase.
“Actually you can make it worth my while right now,” said Zachary.
“Shoot,” said Chase.
“If you could answer a couple of questions for me that would be great – In my distress over realizing that I was unorganized and unprepared to test 3 of 4 of your children, I actually forget to gather valuable case history information,” said Zachary.
“Fire away,” said Chase.
“You had two brothers,” said Zachary, then taking out his notebook and quickly finding their names. “Edbert and Elvin.”
Chase made the sign of the cross.
“I know this must be difficult for you, but I’d like you to talk about what happened. I mean that is quite a tragedy. They died in the same year,” said Zachary.
“1972 will always be known in my lexicon as the most tragic year in the history of mankind. One year I had three brothers and then the next year I only had one. Forgive me if this subject causes me to cry but sometimes when the subject turns to my deceased brethren Edbert and Elvin, I sometimes break down worse than the weakest member of the female species,” said Chase.
Possible sublimation: chauvinism…
“Chase I don’t judge men who cry. I know life can be hard. So what happened? I read in the family tree compiled by Phillip that there was a car accident?” Zachary asked.
“That’s the nuts and bolts of it Zachary. The car hit some ice, went off the road, and they died. And if I could trade my life for theirs I’d trade it faster than I’d trade an old shoe for a Mickey Mantle baseball card,” said Chase.
“Whereabouts did it happen?” Zachary asked.
Chase shook his head in the negative.
“Can you tell me anything else about the accident – any of the details?” Zachary asked.
Chase shook his head again. “That’s the nuts and bolts of it. Is there anything else because I would like to help.”
“All right – can you tell me about the Gray Cliff Lodge? I haven’t been able to find out anything about it, and like I said I’m trying to put together a good case history on the family,” said Zachary.
“Zachary I’m sorry but now it is my turn to play the part of the stubborn mule. It is the tradition to keep the goings-on at that lodge strictly confidential,” said Chase.
“I see and I don’t want to ask you to gossip about family matters that shouldn
’t be gossiped about. So let me ask you if you know of somewhere where I could dig up some information about the lodge, so that I can more effectively put together my final report, which needs to include a thorough case history section about the family and its habits?” Zachary said, wondering if he should now hold out his hand and try to impose a handshake.
Maybe that’s how they negotiate in Texas…
“I’m sorry Zachary but that is one subject that I cannot discuss. My family would not be happy campers…”
“All right, I do have a couple more questions,” said Zachary.
“Fire away,” said Chase.
“You’re very concerned with having your boy tested --.”
“That’s God’s honest truth Zachary,” said Chase.
“Okay I understand – but though you pressed very hard to have your boy tested – you didn’t mention your girls at all. Why not? They’re older,” said Zachary.
Without missing a beat Chase replied, “That’s a good question Zachary, and that all comes down to my opinion of myself as a traditionalist. I’m fine and well with my boy growing up at a wee young age. I don’t think it is ever too early for a boy to stand as a man. I’ve heard it said many times that many boys died in the Civil War fighting for Dixie. But I say that sentence don’t add up to a hill of beans Zachary, cause those weren’t boys. Those were men. Once you die for your country, once you shed blood for your flag, you are a man no matter what your age. And that gets me to the subject of my two little angels, my glorious princesses. If I had my way Zachary those little angels would stay little angels till they were 97 years old. A southern father, a traditional southern father, our daughters will always be our little girls – and as a traditionalist I try to protect them.”
“You didn’t object when I tested your eldest daughter,” Zachary noted.
“That’s because you are a professional and I took you at your word – that your graphic test is age appropriate for my little angel. Can I answer any more questions for you Zachary? Cause I’m fearing that at this point my answers have been as useful as purple polka dots on a pig,” said Chase.
“Did you always have such an interesting way of talking – you didn’t grow up in Texas?” Zachary asked.
“No I did not sir. But I consider it my home now and I truly believe myself to be a Texan now through and through. And so yes I suppose I’ve adopted some of their speaking ways, but some of it is just me too because I don’t throw the baby out with the bath water, that’s just not something I do,” said Chase.
“I have one final question: earlier you said that you guessed that you didn’t do well on my test and that some things are just in your bones because of the way that you’ve been brought up,” said Zachary.
Chase nodded.
“Well I wanted to ask you what you meant by that, or rather: do you think there was something unusual about the way you were brought up, concerning the races that is?” Zachary asked.
“Let me tell you about my father Donald. That man is a pillar of all that is right in the world. Now we all have our faults. Men ain’t perfect or men would be gods, so he did have his faults just as camels have humps, but racism was not one of those humps,” said Chase.
“What were his humps, so to speak?” Zachary asked.
“He was a 100% genuine workaholic. That man loved to get down to business. But that meant that I didn’t see my daddy as much as a boy should see his dad…”
“Anything else?” Zachary asked.
“Nothing comes to mind Zachary. Unless we want to talk about his short-comings as a checker player because he’s about as good as a midget on a basketball team,” said Chase.
“Well if it wasn’t parenting, then what do you think it was that caused you to have this racism in your bones?” Zachary asked.
“I believe the culprit to be our society at large,” said Chase.
“Society?” Zachary asked.
“Friends, television, you name it. You name it,” said Chase.
“And you don’t want that to happen to your boy?” Zachary asked.
“No sir – not in the least,” said Chase.
“Well I’ll see what I can do about modifying that test and we’ll be in touch,” said Zachary, who, observing Chase taking a business card from his walled added, “That isn’t necessary I have your email.”
“That’s right sometimes I’m forgetful as…”
Here Zachary used one on Windsor’s mind tricks and managed to block this final comparison from his mind. As they parted Zachary had the sense that for all Chase’s portrayal of Southern hospitality and his overblown speaking style, that there was something else going on beneath the words, and that he had been taken for a ride. The problem was that it was just a sense, and if Zachary couldn’t identify the lead then he couldn’t follow up on it.
Maybe I’ll have figured out what has me unsettled by the time I get around to testing his boy…
Assessment Seven: Jonnie Thurmond and Fayne
Relation to Windsor: Great Niece and Great Nephew
Address: 175 Main St. Apartment 3, Cambridge MA and Harvard University: Quincy House, Room: 7
Phillip Narrative Tree Snippet:
Jonnie Thurmond…daughter of Mick Thurmond and Courtney Thurmond
B. 1988. Age: 20
Student: Harvard
A sister’s love for a brother is like the moon’s love for the sun. Yes, Jonnie I know that Kolby’s passing troubles you still, and that in that grand nobility of the Thurmond Family way were you given the opportunity to trade places, to trade your life for his, I know you would do so! But these troubles and difficult times have not prevented you from becoming a fine young woman, a sophomore at Harvard no less, where I am told that you major in philosophy, and so perhaps we can both take comfort in the words of Socrates, for as he said, “The hour of departure has arrived and we go our ways; I to die, and you to live. Which is better? Only God knows.” Or in the words of Shakespeare that inimitable poet-philosopher of the ages:
He gave his honors to the world again,
His blessed part to heaven, and slept in peace.
Fayne Graham…son of Fara Graham and Josh Graham
B. 1988 Age: 20
Student: Harvard
A splendid specimen of early manhood encapsulated! I’ve heard it said that Fayne can melt a woman’s heart with a glance only! And he’s already a fine computer programmer!
Zachary decided to next travel to Cambridge to test Jonnie and Fayne. Windsor agreed, saying, “And before you leave the Cambridge area I want you to pay me a visit. There is something I wish to discuss with you here in my home. It is something that I do not wish to speak about over the phone because I fear that the reverberations of my statements will cause much pain, and so I will need you there with me to bring me through that pain, and then back to my ordinary existence.”
What now?
Later he texted Jasmine to let her know that he was making his way back home for half a day, but that he would be happy to be back even for that short amount of time.
She replied:
Okay Professor. You should come see me as soon as you get back. We should get lunch! Jasmine.
Zachary replied:
Sorry, I still have to do business while I am there. And then as soon as it all concludes I will be catching a flight. But then after I travel back to D.C. and then to Philadelphia I think I should finally be finished. Zachary.
Jasmine replied:
Blah blah blah. Jasmine.
Zachary replied:
I’m sorry I would meet up if there was time but there just isn’t. Zachary.
Jasmine replied:
I’m not mad. I was just kidding. But still I breathlessly await your arrival. Lol. Jasmine.
Cambridge: The next day Zachary arrived in Cambridge and tested Jonnie and Fayne, both Harvard students. They met in a Harvard conference room to which Zachary still had access. Their results: both CMR negative with no trace elements. Familiar with Zachary’s research they asked informed questions making Zachary feel, momentarily, as if he were again a respected Harvard professor. After thoughtfully answering their questions, Zachary requested Jonnie to remain behind. She obliged.
“You had a brother who died young, Kolby. Do you remember him well?”
“Quite well, I think about him often,” said Jonnie.
“What do you remember most about him in the years before he died? Zachary asked.
“The changes,” said Jonnie.
“The changes? What do you mean?” Zachary asked.
“He changed a lot in the year before he died. For example, he loved to collect animals – all sorts, and he had this huge pet snake. But in the year before he died he freed it. It probably died in the wild right away. But still he freed it and I don’t know why,” said Jonnie.
“How did your parents react?”
“They were probably angry – but I don’t remember.”
“What else did he do that was a change?”
“He wanted to start taking ballet lessons.”
“There are lots of male ballet dancers in the world.”
“Yes, but it was just so different from the way that his personality had been.”
“So what do you think brought the change about?”
“I have no idea.”
“Could it have been something that happened at the gray cliff lodge?”
“He’d been going there since he was seven – and the change came around the age of ten. So I don’t think so…”
Boston: Zachary traveled to Windsor’s residence for their meeting. For a while it seemed that Windsor had nothing especially pressing to discuss. He asked Zachary for details of his trip and his impressions about family members. Realizing that this could be a chance to catch up on missed business, Zachary said, “You know I should have already given you my CMR test. Would it be possible to do that now? It shouldn’t take too long.”
“Zachary today is not a good day for such a test. For after I tell you what it is that I want to tell you I fear that I will be much weakened. We will have to do that test on another day.”
“So what was it that you wished to tell me?” Zachary asked, as he pondered the oddness of his relationship with Windsor that had started to seem more and more normal.
Why doesn’t it surprise me that that didn’t surprise me?
“First you must follow me upstairs. There I have a room that I use for some of my therapy sessions,” said Windsor.
Windsor led Zachary into a room in which there were four black chairs in the corners and a medical table in the center. The medical table was padded and had leather restraints.
“You must restrain me here,” said Windsor, pointing to the table.
“Why?”
“I have followed my mother’s advice and I do not look back. But occasionally looking back is a necessity. Today is just such an occasion. And when such occasions occur I must strap myself down,” said Windsor.
“I don’t understand,” said Zachary.
“But you will, now please, apply the leather restraints,” said Windsor, who had climbed onto the table and lay on his back. Zachary did as he was asked and then moved a chair from the corner closer to the center of the room so that he could sit by Windsor’s side.
“Why are there so many chairs in this room?” Zachary asked.
“Because sometimes one therapist is not enough, and I bring in a team of four,” said Windsor, as if such a thing were completely normal.
Though when you’ve got 3.5 billion dollars maybe it is…
“Give me a minute to go back to that place which I both so loath and desire to go,” said Windsor, drawing a long deep breath in the manner that Zachary imagined one of his therapists had taught. “Remember the picture I showed you? Where I am standing with my brothers and my parents, my declared first memory?”
“Yes, I remember,” said Zachary.
“That is where my childhood starts because it is from that point that I can sequence the events of my life. But there is a single memory I still have that occurred before that picture was taken, an outlier memory. I know it occurred before the picture in the Alpines because in this memory I have a cast on a broken arm, and I don’t ever remember breaking my arm after that picture was taken in the Alpines,” said Windsor.
“I follow you,” said Zachary.
“You’ve asked me about my father, and I hope that this memory, a memory which sometimes awakes me in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, will help to answer some of your questions,” said Windsor.
Zachary opened his notebook and Windsor shut his eyes.
“I am in a room with wood floors and wood walls. I am strapped to a table as I am strapped to a table now. Next to me there is a man strapped to a table, and he is black, and he is big, and he is screaming. We are both naked. There are many people standing around holding guns. I see my father’s face and it is friendly, and he places his hand upon my shoulder and tells me to be calm. I don’t remember what else he said but I do remember staring into his deep blue eyes, and he returned my stare with a stare of overwhelming kindness and gentleness, and though I was naked, and though there were many men with guns, and though the black man was screaming, I knew I would be safe. And then it happened: I turned my head to the left away from my father’s gaze where I saw a man in a white suit and a white apron approach the black man on the table. The man in the apron held a tray with metal knives. Then as the men with the guns watched, my father included, the man in the white apron began to cut the flesh from the black man’s body. At this point I could no longer hear the black man’s screaming. I had pushed it from my mind because it was too loud and too disconcerting. In this way, I think even at that early age I was able to block things from my mind that might damage me, or rather my soul. Let me leave that place for a moment and come back to this world, though I must admit that in the leaving it is l
ike I am allowing the taste of a previous sip of lemonade to linger on my lips and filter through my body before lifting up the glass and taking another,” said Windsor, now opening his eyes.
“That is a horrible story Windsor,” said Zachary.
“Yes, yes it is. Can I ask you a personal question Zachary?” Windsor asked.
“Yes you can,” said Zachary, thinking that if this man could freely admit his CMR, then he should be able to admit whatever he was asked as well.
“Do you believe in God Mr. Dunbar?” Windsor asked.
“That is a tough question. Some scientists do and some do not. I don’t think science will ever answer the question definitively. I think it is a matter of faith. I believe in something, but it is not a religious god, it is just something,” said Zachary, answering without thinking because as he answered he wondered: Could that have been the event that brought about his trait?
And what was this event?
And why the men with guns?
And is that an accurate memory?
Or is it a fantasy from a man who wishes to eat black flesh?
“So you think there is something after death?” Windsor asked.
“Yes of that I do – I don’t know what – but again: something. And you, do you believe there is something after we draw our final breath?” Zachary asked.
“I do not, and this has caused me a particular slow gnawing type of pain, because if I did believe that there was something else and that in the departing of this world we start anew in another – I would have left this world long ago. But from time to time the urge is still there – for how can I be certain,” said Windsor, closing his eyes and again drawing deep long breaths. “I am now a child and I am back in the room. The man in the white apron continues to approach me and I look into his eyes, and I see that like my father’s eyes they are kind and gentle too. In his hands he holds a clear glass bowl and I can see that it is filled with bloody flesh. He places the bowl on my table by my feet. He then walks forward and crouches by my ear, whispering words that I still remember, ‘Windsor when you skin a Negro the skin shrinks, so we hope we have chosen a Negro who is the appropriate size. Windsor you wear leather shoes made of cow. You wear beaver hats made of beaver. Today you will wear a Negro suit made of Negro.’ My father told me to be still and move not a muscle. The man in the apron proceeded to cover me in the black man’s skin from my head to my toes. I drew in deep breaths as I am drawing in deep breaths now. I felt the blood tickle my skin. Every now and again my mind would falter and I would hear the black man’s screams, but just as soon they would vanish. The flesh did not cover my eyes and I could see the men with guns nodding with approval. I don’t know how long I laid there like that, covered in the flesh of another man. My memory of it now is not a memory of time – it is a memory of feeling – a memory of bliss. But it is here that my memory vanishes. It is here that I open my eyes and return to this world, discontented that I am not covered in the black man’s flesh. And it is now that thoughts of jumping from a window approach my brain because my brain knows that it is not right to be covered in another man’s flesh – a black man’s flesh – but my body tells me Yes Windsor Yes, you must do this now. And so now you see that when I look back it is dangerous both for myself and the innocent others, and in the interests of both those concerns, myself and the innocent others, it would be a fortuitous decision to leave me so strapped for a little longer, say 30 minutes, so that I can fully return to this world, and to thoughts befitting a man of society.”
“Windsor that’s horrible. Such a thing should happen to no one. I’m sorry for both of you. For him that is a most horrific way to die. And for you, for an undeveloped mind this must have done unimaginable damages. Again, I’m sorry,” said Zachary.
“And I’m sorry that I’m not sorry, truly I am,” said Windsor.
“Why do you think this was done to you?” Zachary asked.
“You might as well ask me to predict the last second of my life, for I have no idea,” said Windsor.
“No idea?” Zachary asked.
“And to put it another way: just as a boy does not wonder why he is so privileged as to receive his first kiss from a pretty girl, rather he simply savors the moment and relegates the memory to an enduring part of his mind. And yes Zachary, as I have explained before, my childhood before 5 is a blank slate, though for some reason this memory of being covered in a black man’s flesh remains – though it remains as feeling more than anything else,” said Windsor.
“Well if you have to guess now what do you think that the purpose of it all had been?” Zachary asked.
“I don’t know. Or to put it another way: to start to think of this would bring me to places that I cannot go. For after the going I would either lose my life or others would lose theirs,” said Windsor.
“I understand, but do you know anything else about the place, or who else was there besides your father, or anything?” Zachary asked.
“I’m sorry Zachary, but I have no more to give,” said Windsor.
“I understand, and though this story creates more questions than anything else, it does answer one question: it would seem your father definitively had the CMR trait,” said Zachary.
“Yes it would seem that I am a chip off the old block Mr. Dunbar,” said Windsor, though completely devoid of sarcasm.
“So, we know that one parent carried the trait --.”
“I told you – information about my mother is off limits!” Windsor exclaimed, the restraints rattling.
“I have been able to find out nothing of use from your relatives. It seems they did not know her,” said Zachary.
“I smell it. I smell it here,” said Windsor.
“You smell what?” Zachary asked, looking around the room. Remarkably, Alexus, the black housekeeper had just passed through the back of the room, though at least 50 feet away, and from an angle of which Windsor had no view. Zachary wondered if she were safe remaining in Windsor’s employment after such deep memories had been brought to the surface.
Should I suggest that he let her go with some sort of severance package?
“Mr. Dunbar, one of my servants will release me from my confinement when the time is right – when my pulse has slowed and my adrenaline has lessened. We’ve had quite a day, and you have more information to put in your report. But it has been draining for me and my strength is diminished and so, old boy, I think that the hour has come where it is right for us to part for the day…”
Assessment Eight: Yetta’s Household
Yetta’s Relation to Windsor: Niece
Address: 3259 R Street, Georgetown, Washington, D.C., 20007
Phillip Narrative Tree Snippet:
Yetta Smith…daughter of Donald and Lily Thurmond
B. 1966. Age: 42
Profession: Financial Industries
Who says women can’t hack it in the financial sphere? Not Yetta Smith that is for sure! She gives her bother Mick a run for his money! Her husband Tom is an all around swell guy and a big football fan. These two gorgeous individuals have produced two beautiful children, Park, and Betsey. I remember when Yetta a child she would climb a tree in my back yard, all the way to the tipsy top. She had no fear of heights! (Which I personally
think is something that deserves an exclamation point because I get afraid once I am higher than ten feet!) That lack of a fear of heights has translated to the rest of her life, she has no fear. I have never seen it in her eyes. She is quite productive at work and (sorry Tom) the major bread-winner, because as aforementioned her financial know-how is first rate (where did I go wrong in this gene pool?).
Park Smith…daughter of Yetta Smith and Tom Smith
B. 1992 Age: 16
Isn’t adolescence supposed to be awkward? Well, someone forgot to tell Park because his charm and grace bestow on him a noble demeanor past his short lived years! May your days to come be as enchanted as your days that have passed!
Betsey Smith…daughter of Yetta Smith and Tom Smith
B. 1994. Age: 14
A charming nymph! A goddess of youth! Your golden hair, your rosy cheeks! Oh why can’t the young stay forever young? But if they could stay forever young they should stay as you are Betsey, such sweetness, such goodness!
Washington: The Washington National Airport had become a familiar place for Zachary. During this trip Zachary hoped to test the remaining four D.C. households: Yetta, Nikkie, Mick, and Donald. And if this goal was met only one household would remain: Philip (Pennsylvania).
First Zachary would test Yetta’s household which consisted of Yetta, her husband Tom and their two children, Park and Betsey. Philip had noted that Yetta worked in finance and that Tom was a football fan. Zachary met them at their house, another gargantuan Thurmond abode. They lived in the Georgetown section of D.C. And although their home was situated in a densely populated neighborhood, it was hidden from view by strategically planted trees and shrubbery. Zachary found these D.C. Thurmonds to be more welcoming than the seclusion of their home would have implied.
Yetta asked Zachary for details about Chase and Teal’s children and not sure what else to say, Zachary replied that they all seemed in fine health.
Except that Nolene has a dormant desire to murder African Americans and eat their flesh…
As expected Yetta’s husband Tom tested CMR negative. Yetta’s boy Park also tested CMR negative, while Yetta and her daughter Betsey both tested CMR positive.
Zachary conducted interviews and asked family history questions. They seemed open with their answers, and when relevant Zachary jotted down their responses. The day’s testing having concluded, Tom and Yetta were curious to know about their estranged Uncle Windsor. Zachary replied that Windsor was protective of his privacy “but I’m sure you can see from all his charitable work that he is a good guy, and you should be proud that he is a member of your family – even if he has decided to separate himself from it.”
After Tom left, Yetta asked Zachary if he could give her advice on how to best handle the mental health of her daughter.
Zachary politely explained that he was a research psychologist not a practicing family psychologist but that he would be happy to make three recommendations (three being the professionally appropriate number).
“No that isn’t it at all Mr. Dunbar, when the invitations went out I saw that you would be testing us, and curious about your credentials I looked you up online. There, I stumbled upon Trait Theory. I found it fascinating,” said Yetta.
“How so?” Zachary asked.
Why do compliments never get old?
“My daughter has developed a rather nasty habit. She has been capturing and dissecting small animals,” said Yetta.
Zachary knew that animal dissection was often a precursor to human killings.
“Yeah, that is pretty serious stuff. How did you make the connection to Trait Theory?” Zachary asked.
“I did the same thing as a child,” said Yetta.
Zachary wondered if perhaps CMR was such a super-strong trait that sometimes its sublimations were actions not accepted by society.
“And what happened?” Zachary asked.
“It vanished of its own accord,” said Yetta.
“Do you ever get urges?” Zachary asked.
“Yes, but I just go watch a movie, or work long hours, or have sex –really anything to get it off my mind,” said Yetta.
“So do you think it will also pass for your daughter?” Zachary asked.
“Yes, but I’d still like to have someone talk to her about it, an expert. My husband wants me to talk to her about it, but of course I haven’t told him about my actions as a youth. And I don’t think I’d be the best person to talk to her about it, because as I just expressed, I only barely have it under control myself,” said Yetta.
Zachary nodded and told Yetta he would talk to Betsey. Yetta called for Betsey and left them alone in the back yard where they both sat on a wooden bench. Right away Betsey asked Zachary if there was something wrong with her.
“No, everyone is special in their own way. And everyone has their own special kind of problems. Your problem is special because it is different from the type of problem that most people have,” said Zachary, hoping he made sense.
“After I slice open an animal I feel like a freak,” said Betsey.
“Then why do you do it if you know it will make you feel like that?” Zachary asked.
“That is how I feel after I do it. While I am doing it I never feel so alive,” said Betsey.
“Betsey, your problem won’t become a problem so long as you recognize it as a problem. You have to fight it. Do you have a boyfriend?” Zachary asked.
“No,” said Betsey.
“Do you want a boyfriend?” Zachary asked.
“Yes,” said Betsey.
“Do you think a boy will want to be your boyfriend if he knows you do this to animals?” Zachary asked.
“No,” said Betsey.
“Well, there you go. It makes sense not to do it because you want a boyfriend,” said Zachary.
“Yeah, I guess, but the problem is that I’d rather do it than have a boyfriend,” said Betsey.
Zachary wished that he could explain to Betsey that she carried the CMR trait, but he feared that it would currently do more harm than good. At this point she had not identified blacks as her actual desired target, but if he told her what she truly desired she might seek it out because her sublimation was already one that did not confirm to the expectations of society. Betsey could then turn into one of those rarest of breeds – a female serial killer. Still, when Zachary published the final report she would learn that she carried the CMR trait, though hopefully by that point she would be more mature and ready to handle the implications. In any case, Zachary would have to arrange for frequent therapy for Betsey when this revelation was made.
Assessment Nine: Nikkie Thurmond
Nikkie’s Relation to Windsor: Niece
Address: 4847 Rockwood Pkwy, Spring Valley, Washington, D.C., 20016
Phillip Narrative Tree Snippet:
Nikkie Thurmond…daughter of Donald and Lily Thurmond
B. 1969 Age: 39
Profession: Teacher
Aint no man gonna slow down this go-getter. Nikkie is unmarried and I am told quite happy about it! More than one man has offered the ring, but Nikkie has turned them all down. She is a Thurmond family heartbreaker. Quiet I think I hear a sound? Hark, it is the sobs of her latest lover! Or it could be the sobs of her students, for it is rumored that she is the hardest teacher in her school, and to add insult to injury her subject is chemistry. If there was ever a subject where students need a little teacherly compassion it is the subject of chemistry. But they won’t get any from Nikkie, because true to her craft she holds them to a high standard of achievement. I once heard Donald complain that Nikkie hadn’t entered the family business, saying, “Her mind is sharp as a
tack. She would have made a fine addition to the company.” (Again, where did I go wrong in this gene-pool for talent abounds!)
Washington: Zachary next traveled to Washington Heights High to test Nikkie Thurmond. After providing the front office with a current CORI report, Zachary was led by a pimply hall monitor to Nikkie’s chemistry classroom. She had planned for them to meet during an open block and he found her grading papers. Zachary observed that the room was carefully organized. After minimal small-talk the testing began. Result: CMR positive – a result which surprised Zachary as teaching is considered a helping profession and it seemed to Zachary that teaching would provide poor opportunities to sublimate her latent CMR desires.
How does she cope?
Therefore, he began interviewing, probing for interests and hobbies.
“If you are wondering how I spend my free-time Mr. Dunbar, I enjoy exercise, healthy eating, and reading about historically important figures in chemistry,” said Nikkie, sighing and adding. “Who unfortunately are usually boring dead white guys.”
Not much there…
After a short pause, she continued, “But if you are wondering about what I am really passionate about in life there is only one subject.”
“Chemistry,” Zachary guessed.
“No, the prevention of male school violence,” said Nikkie.
Zachary nodded and prepared to take notes.
“Mr. Dunbar, when I learned that you would be interviewing my family I became quite excited. It is true that I am a chemistry teacher by day, but my real passion lies in preventing male school violence – and I believe that this subject is more psychological than anything else. When I researched your credentials I thought it a happy coincidence,” said Nikkie.
“How is it that you are connected to the prevention of male school violence?” Zachary asked.
“I’m not. But I wish to be. I’ve been researching the question for almost 10 years – ever since the Columbine shootings. My data is extensive – and I think it could be quite accurate, someday I hope to publish.” said Nikkie.
“What is your theory?” Zachary asked.
“My theory is that boys in high school are motivated primarily by the possibility of sex. And for the ones who aren’t getting it, everything they do is meant to achieve this aim.”
Zachary thought back on his own high school days, “Yes, that is an intuitive statement, well for me as a male. But how does this connect to preventing male violence?”
“My theory continues that when male teens are unable to consummate their sexual longings those longings can turn to violent acts. For example, I believe that the Columbine killings were almost certainly perpetrated by virgins and that the student’s gunfire was a symbolic ‘final ejaculation.’” said Nikkie, straight-faced.
“An interesting hypothesis – I’m sure it must make good conversational fodder in the teacher’s room anyway,” said Zachary, trying not to grin inappropriately.
“Hardly. I’ve kept it a secret. I know that my work is racy and controversial and so I do not want to publish until I am retired. But I am also conflicted about keeping the work a secret because I think this research could help prevent future violence,” said Nikkie.
“You believe that strongly in your research?” Zachary asked, seeing in Nikkie a like-minded thinker.
Could her result have been a false positive? Maybe I should test her again…
“Mr. Dunbar, I believe that there is no greater threat to the safety of our children in public and private high schools than the frustrated male virgin,” said Nikkie.
“So what is the solution?” Zachary asked.
“I’ve struggled over this. I’m really not sure. First, they would be difficult to identify. High school males are notorious for lying about their status as virgins. Second, once identified, we obviously can’t just send them off to brothels. So I really don’t know. But maybe if they are just made aware that they are at a high risk to commit a violent act precisely because they aren’t yet successful in their mating endeavors – then maybe they would think twice before deciding to commit a killing spree in the form of a violent ‘final ejaculation’”
“I must be honest – this sounds like quite an off the wall theory. Yet at the same time it is quite intriguing. May I peruse your data?” Zachary asked.
Nikkie handed him a notebook, one filled with pages of observations.
“So what does this data consist of?”
“Like I said, while they are in high school males will often lie about their status as a virgin. But I carefully note each violent act of my male students. Then years later I interview them at reunions and after having them sign confidentiality agreements I explain the nature of my study and ask them when they first had sex. The results have been clear. The virgins were much more violent than the non-virgins: fights, verbal altercations – you name it…”
For the next hour Zachary pored over the data, reaching the impression that this amateur researcher had a professional’s touch.
“You do seem to have data to back up your theory. When you are ready to publish let me know and I will point you in the right direction.”
Nikkie beamed.
The CMR trait just does not seem to fit…
“Would you mind if I quickly test you again?” Zachary asked.
Nikkie consented and Zachary obtained the same result: CMR positive.
A sublimation that is the pursuit of a research question! Astounding!
Although Windsor had informed Zachary not to pester him with individual results during the testing phase, Zachary, due to the perplexing nature of the sublimation, decided to make an exception and called Windsor:
“I know you told me that you want to bestow your inheritance on someone without the CMR trait.”
“Yes that is certainly the case,” said Windsor.
“Why?” Zachary asked.
“The answer is obvious my good fellow. I know exactly what is like to live with this trait. As I have previously expressed, it is only through enormous self-restraint that I have not unleashed my destructive forces upon the world. Giving someone this much money with the CMR trait could put race relations in this country back a hundred years, at least.”
“The reason I ask, and I am just playing devil’s advocate here – is because one of your female relatives tested positive for the trait, and yet through her sublimation of the trait, she has developed a social theory – a theory which she has named The Deadly Virgin Theory for Safety in American High Schools – that if correct could help prevent the senseless killings that crop up from time to time in American schools. I firmly believe that it was her sublimation of the CMR trait that caused her to do this. Of course I can’t prove that and it is only theory, but --.”
“Zachary, I already told you – test the females if you wish for your report – but my inheritance must go to a male – so this will not affect my thinking on this individual family member.”
“I’m not trying to affect your thinking on an individual member; I’m trying to affect your thinking on all members – and specifically the males – I’m saying that maybe you should look at the males differently. For example, some of the CMR positive Thurmond males hold quite commendatory positions on racial relations. Perhaps it is time to consider the position, no matter how contradictory sounding, that you should look at the whole person.”
“Zachary thank you for your input. But if you were to walk a mile in my shoes you would realize that what you speak of is just not a possibility.”
“I understand – I was mostly just playing devil’s advocate.”
“This isn’t a game.”
“I know.”
“Do you? Or to p
ut it another way: are you approaching this project from the angle of a scientist or the angle of a human, a human with emotions and feelings?”
He’s put me on the spot – and the moral tables have been turned…
“I’m just trying to do my job,” said Zachary, realizing that he sounded defensive.
“I know and you are doing a fine job. Keep me updated if there are any more developments. And I don’t mean to chastise you --.”
“No, No I understand, and you are right. Sometimes theories do separate me from the human and that’s something I should stay on the look-out for. And you’re right that this isn’t a game. Your relatives have a strong urge, even if subconscious, to eat the flesh of African-Americans and I shouldn’t just be playing around with that fact as if it is a mental game.”
“I’m glad we see eye to eye on that.”
“And Windsor, I have to admit something to you. I came into this project for the money. I’m deeply in debt. I convinced myself that it wasn’t totally for the money, but I think that was just a rationalization on my part so that I could cross the boundaries of my own moral standards by agreeing to work for a person who admits to having the desires that you have. But the longer that I have worked on this project -- and Windsor, I have tried to imagine what it is like to walk in your shoes, though I know that is completely impossible – so yes the longer I have worked on this project the more respect I have --.”
“Zachary this isn’t necessary --.”
“No let me finish – the longer I have worked on this project the more respect I have began to have for you – to do what you do every day – to function in society – to do good for the world – and all the while to do it --.”
Suddenly Zachary realized he was speaking to a dial tone.
It is just like his charity work. He does not accept accolades. He thinks he does not deserve them. But because of the hand of cards that life dealt him, he deserves accolades more than most…
Assessment Ten: Donald Thurmond
Relation to Windsor: Brother
Address: 2510 Foxhall Road, Foxhall Neighborhood, Washington, D.C., 20007
Phillip Narrative Tree Snippet:
Donald Thurmond…son of Norman and Virginia Thurmond
B. 1933 Age: 75
Profession: Financial Industry
The first thing that I have to note about Donald is that the old bugger has had seven children! Of course, of the 7 only 5 would see adulthood as both Edbert and Elvin would succumb to an early death in 1972. However, Donald’s marriage with his wife Lily has remained strong. I called Lily and told her I was putting together this family tree. I said to her, ‘How was it that you stayed together during those stressful years after 1972?’ She replied to me, ‘I was able to make it through because of Donald’s kind heart.’ As Donald’s brother I can second that opinion. Often when people in the family think of Donald the first thing that comes to mind is that he is another family financial success story. And that is true, among amazing financial accomplishments: he created…the first and now largest private penal corporation in the country! Yet it is his kind heart that I think we should think of when we think of Donald. I remember when I fell into a well as a child, breaking my leg Donald ran six miles to get help! Six miles at the age of 7! Donald has the heart of a warrior. But his fight is love. Donald is a proud member of the Gray Cliff Lodge and has served as secretary of that noble organization for 20 years. Thus his book-keeping skills are put to use not only in the arena of finance but also in the arena of fraternity…
Washington: Because Donald lived next door to his son Mick it would have been simplest to test them together, but Mick’s household couldn’t be tested until the next day. The narrative family tree outlined that Donald (if Philip was accurate) had created two hedge funds of hedge funds, so that those who were not ultra-rich could still invest in these specialized instruments, and also a door-to-door investment service, which listed as its mission statement, “The achievement of favorable returns for the common people.”
Another socially positive CMR sublimation?
Two years prior, Zachary had attended an annoying networking seminar and therefore knew that he should at least provide Donald with a business card for Dunbar and Associates. Yet the thought made Zachary feel more snake oil salesman than upstanding businessman.
But I suppose that is the way the world works, selling yourself or selling something else…
Zachary found Donald’s wife Lily to be a naturally pleasant hostess. After the testing concluded (results: Lily: CMR negative; Donald: CMR positive) Lily expressed that it was a sad occurrence that Windsor persisted in maintaining his familial estrangement. She showed Zachary an old photo album. Zachary was able to identify many of the family members.
Hoping that this moment of Thurmond family sharing might lead to answers about the Gray Cliff Lodge, Zachary suggested that Donald reminisce about this long-standing family establishment. However, Donald only smiled softly, saying, “I may be getting on in the years but I still keep my oaths, and so I’m sure that you’ve heard by now that all occurrences at the Gray Cliff Lodge are veiled with a Thurmond oath of secrecy.”
“Yes, although I hadn’t heard that exact term. What can you tell me about the oath?”
“Very good! If you can’t learn about what the oath secludes then you try to learn about the oath itself! I admire your tenacity. But I must repeat, affably though firmly, that all matters pertaining the Gray Cliff Lodge are family secrets, including all matters pertaining to the oath to maintain that secrecy,” said Donald.
The man practically speaks in legalese about what is supposedly a vacation. What are they hiding?
“I’m sorry to persist, but I am trying to put together a family history. Grey Cliff is a gaping hole in my report. Based on the fact that the Gray Cliff Lodge is frequently referenced in Philip’s narrative family tree and because absolutely no one will talk to me about it, I have to assume that this lodge must be of some major importance to the family,” said Zachary.
“Young fellow, I wish you were a Thurmond because you seem like the respectable sort who would fit right in were you given the chance. But the truth of the matter is: Zachary you are not a Thurmond, and as much as you seem to be a fine fellow, the wonders of the Gray Cliff Lodge are for the Thurmond family only. I’m sorry but that’s just the way it is,” said Donald.
“It is for Thurmond males only,” Zachary corrected.
“Yes, yes, the women have their lodge as well of course,” said Donald.
“I simply love the Yellow Daisy Lodge. It is the highlight of my year…” said Lily, who proceeded to describe her favorite activities. Zachary nodded politely while impatiently tapping his foot.
I must continue to press Donald…
“…Donald you described what occurred at the lodge as ‘wonders’ – how so?” Zachary asked, thinking that perhaps he would finally receive some answers, even if limited, concerning this secretive family vacation spot.
This man at least talks about the concrete in the abstract, which is more than any other male Thurmond has done…
“Good try, but I have already said too much. And even if I could tell you I wouldn’t. The Gray Cliff Lodge is something that needs to be experienced for words do not do it justice. I will say this though, the time that I spend at the Gray Cliff Lodge gives my body and soul the sustenance that it needs for all the time spent away from the lodge,” said Donald.
“It sounds like the perfect vacation,” said Zachary.
Donald slapped his thigh as if Zachary had made a noteworthy joke, saying, “I may have given away the family secret after all because that description is just right,”
Zachary decided to try another meth
od.
Perhaps Lily has heard something…
After Donald excused himself to take an urgent telephone call, Zachary asked Lily what she knew of the lodge.
“I wish I could help you because you seem like such a nice boy, but I know nothing about what goes on at that lodge with those men – men and their secrets. Well, that isn’t exactly true. I know that they hunt deer because each year Donald and the other Thurmond men bring back so much deer meat that the Thurmond wives could create at least ten cook books solely dedicated to creative deer recipes – believe me we’ve had to learn,” said Lily.
“Yes, I’ve heard that before,” said Zachary.
And killing a large animal is probably quite an effective CMR sublimation.
When Donald returned he asked Lily what he had missed.
She summarized.
Donald exclaimed, “What a coincidence! Zachary we were about to have lunch and the menu today actually is venison if you would like to partake.”
“No, I grabbed a bite to eat before I arrived,” said Zachary, playfully grabbing at his belly.
Lily coyly waved a finger, saying, “Zachary, I insist. I have made Venison soup – and call me a roguish opportunist, but I would simply love to get the opinion of an unbiased taster. Of course Donald tells me everything I make is marvelous, but he has to live with me. But you can be honest. You don’t have to live with me!”
“Okay, I’ll give it a try,” said Zachary.
But only because I still have questions to ask…
“Wonderful!” said Lily, leading Zachary by the hand into the informal dining room. Zachary immediately noted the room’s singular decoration: mounted deer heads. He began counting.
“45,” said Donald before Zachary had finished.
“Are these all of your kills?” Zachary asked.
“Of course not – but these were some of my proudest moments. I wish I could describe them to you, but of course I cannot,” said Donald with a rakish smile.
“You must be a very competent hunter,” said Zachary.
“Draw whatever conclusions you want from these magnificent specimens on my walls but you will draw no information about the lodge from me,” said Donald, smiling again.
“Well,” said Zachary, seating himself, “allow me to change the subject then. And I apologize because I know that this must be a difficult subject, but could you speak about the circumstances surrounding the deaths of your children Edbert and Elvin. Herod’s curse is something that I have also been trying to make sense of.”
While Lily spoke at length about her two deceased children, Zachary jotted her responses, often nodding sympathetically. Her tears began flowing almost as soon as she choked up and when she found herself unable to continue, Zachary thanked her for her efforts. Immediately Donald grasped her hand, kissed her gently on the cheek, and turned to Zachary, saying, “The loss of Edbert and Elvin were the most difficult tragedies that I’ve ever experienced in my life…”
I can’t quite place why but he seems phony…
“And on a more theoretical level, what is your opinion of Herod’s curse? Why do you think this curse keeps after the Thurmond family?” Zachary asked, a servant placing a bowl of soup before him.
Both Donald and Lily stated that they believed the curse to be nothing more than the chance unfolding of a series of horrendous tragedies. Zachary noted their answers and turned his attention to the soup, a soup which he found highly seasoned and surprisingly appetizing.
Soup usually leaves me wanting another dish but this soup leaves me wanting more soup…
“Interesting, this does not actually taste like venison to me,” said Zachary.
“So then you are familiar?” Donald asked.
“Yes, I’ve had it on perhaps 10 occasions. But I must say this is the best tasting venison I’ve ever had – how did you cook it Lily?”
“Well just like Donald I also have some family secrets that I am not willing to talk about, like my recipes – but I can tell you that it was extensively marinated,” said Lily.
“Oh, well that must explain the difference between the gaminess I expected and the present flavorful taste – very nice job,” said Zachary, as he continued to consume the bowl’s contents.
“Zachary, in my line of work, finance, you have to make split second decisions about people – and I must admit that the thought of having someone judge me never sits well in my mind – that’s actually why it took me so long to respond to your RSVP. I wasn’t sure I even wanted to do this -- Let another family member get the money I’ll be departing this world in the not too distant future anyway was my thinking – but whenever someone likes my wife’s venison cooking and thinks my wife’s venison is delicious: well, I like that person a whole lot more,” said Donald, raising a glass of milk in salutation.
“Yes, it is very good and I’m not just saying that to be polite,” said Zachary.
Lily grinned appreciably and said, “thank you Zachary, you are welcome back any time – and if you do come back there is a good chance we will be eating venison again…”
Time to network…ugh…
Before leaving Zachary summarized the mission statement of Dunbar and Associates and briefly outlined their accomplishments.
“Yes, effective hiring is important. If you think you could improve the hiring practices in prisons I’ll send word along to my contacts,” said Donald.
They shook hands. Donald’s grip was strong.
“Zachary you’ve been in my home, you’ve eaten my meat, and though you aren’t officially a Thurmond, I now consider you a surrogate Thurmond, and we Thurmonds watch out for each other – so if I hear of some work I will hand it your way…”
“Thank you, again thank you for the meal. You don’t happen to have any extra that I could take with me do you?” Zachary asked.
“I’m sorry, but we really don’t…” said Donald, which Zachary thought an odd answer because Donald had earlier been bragging about his stockpile of venison and had been generous in doling out portions.
It had been a hearty meal and once Zachary reached the hotel he decided to nap but the hotel bed was so comfortable that he slept straight until morning. After shaving and showering, Zachary ate breakfast at the hotel, finding his toast and muffin intolerably bland.
But maybe Mick will be eating venison too, though I doubt it would be as tasteful as Donald’s…
Zachary had time to kill before meeting with Mick, so he analyzed data sets and started outlining his preliminary report. Then he read a newspaper and watched the news. Nothing newsworthy in either place, he turned his attention towards test preparation. Mick was divorced, a Thurmond rarity. His first child Kolby had died at age 11, a victim of Herod’s Curse. His two surviving children, Ralph and Jonnie were, respectively, 16 and 20. Zachary had already tested Jonnie, result: CMR negative.
Assessment Eleven: Mick Thurmond’s Household
Mick’s Relation to Windsor: Nephew
Address: 2520 Foxhall Road, Foxhall Neighborhood, Washington, D.C., 20007
Phillip Narrative Tree Snippet:
Mick Thurmond…son of Donald and Lily Thurmond
B. 1963 Age: 45
Profession: Financial Industries
If there was ever a worker who was ready to burn the midnight oil, well then that worker is Mick Thurmond. I think it is a fair assessment to say that he takes after his daddy in his financial wizardry. I don’t think Mick has ever seen a quarterly report that he wasn’t too busy to read, analyze, re-organize, and evaluate for pros and cons. As I once heard Chase state about his brother Mick, in his characteristic speaking way, “If I had one half of the work ethic of my brother Mick, I would already have built a ladder to the moon, taken up a construction crew, and built
myself a genuine lunar vacation home!” Sadly, Herod’s Curse struck Mick’s family, and took away his sweet boy Kolby in 1986. As with his grandparents (Norman and Virginia), the loss of a child introduced too much stress for the marriage to remain intact, and Mick and his now ex-wife Courtney have gone their separate ways. However, I’m told that the divorce has been amicable and that they rear their surviving child Jonni tenderly and wonderfully. Mick played football for Harvard and now as a body builder cuts quite a wide-berth.
Ralph Thurmond…son of Mick and Courtney Thurmond
B. 1992 Age: 16
Profession: high school student
What a fine young man! A well rounded high school scholar, ready to enter the world, ready to do his Thurmond duty!
Washington: Mick lived next door to his father Donald and the outside of their houses looked similar, but Mick’s interior was gloomy with dark paints, foreboding modern paintings, framed antique weapons, and of course that Thurmond mainstay: mounted buck heads. Having observed the buck heads, Zachary tried his best to nonchalantly insert his venison appeal.
Mick laughed.
“Yes, Donald told me that you really took to the venison.”
“I imagine everyone must. It was heavenly,” said Zachary.
“You’d be surprised, some people don’t. My boy Kolby never could seem to acquire the taste, which was unfortunate because we eat it so often.”
Zachary took the opportunity to question Mick about Herod’s Curse, and carefully noted his answer. Zachary continued, “Well, it must be a relief now that Ralph is older than 13. You don’t have to worry about it anymore.”
Mick changed the subject and offered Zachary a beer. Zachary accepted and they drank on the patio in his backyard. The patio overlooked an in-ground pool built to resemble a flatbed creek. Zachary complimented Mick’s yard and Mick waved off the compliment, explaining that it had all been his ex-wife’s idea.
“Yes, I heard that you were divorced. I’d like to get her contact information from you if possible. It would be good if I could test her as well,” said Zachary.
“What, she didn’t already get enough money from me? She needs another 3.5 billion?” said Mick and after chuckling, he added, “Yes, of course. Whatever you need Zachary – my father Donald told me to get you whatever you need.”
“Was that before or after I enjoyed his venison?” Zachary asked, smiling.
“Why do you ask?” said Mick.
“It just seemed very important to him,” said Zachary.
“Well actually, after,” said Mick, laughing again.
Both Mick and his son Ralph tested CMR positive. Mick took an interest in the specifics of the test, saying, “It seemed obvious that you were testing for racism there, but were you testing for anything else?”
Zachary still believed that the murderous-cannibalistic part would be too much for the Thurmonds’ pride to handle, yet due to ethical disclosure the question could not be avoided. But Zachary found a way out of the dilemma, saying, “Yes, racism, but a very strong form of racism, a form that might cause a person to commit acts not condoned in society.”
“Interesting, can you be any more specific?” Mick asked
“It will all be in the final report, along with recommendations,” said Zachary.
“So what does that mean that Ralph tested positive? I mean, does it mean that Ralph is like me because we both tested positive? Do we both have a similar type of this strong racism?” Mick asked.
“Yes, it is similar, and it will be within a similar range. But the magnitude will differ, and that will take a little time to calculate,” said Zachary.
“How long?” Mick asked.
“Perhaps a few days.”
“I’d like those results as soon as possible,” said Mick.
Zachary noted that Mick was the first Thurmond interested in score specifics, and wondered his reason. However, the subject was changed because the butler at that moment placed a platter of venison on the patio table. Zachary’s mouth instantly began watering.
Mick grabbed a piece of meat and stuffed it into his mouth, explaining, “finger food.” Zachary followed suit. Remarkably Mick’s venison was just as tasty as Donald’s and Zachary continued to toss chunks of the meat into his mouth until the platter was empty. As they ate Zachary tried to pry from Mick some information about Grey Cliff. But he gave the standard Thurmond answers and the subject was closed. Fortunately Mick was as generous with his venison as Donald had been on the prior day and a second platter was consumed. Zachary left Mick’s house in convivial spirits.
It is too bad he is CMR positive, or I think that I just might make a personal appeal on his behalf to Windsor. (Then Zachary wondered if that was the venison talking.)
Later Zachary called Courtney, Mick’s ex-wife. Her children had already informed her about the testing.
“I know that I am no longer married into the Thurmond family, but I was still wondering if you would eventually contact me.”
As the sun began setting, Zachary met her at her home. Judging by her home’s size she had done well for herself in the divorce.
If she isn’t from some independently wealthy family line too that is…
The gratuitousness of the test shocked her and consistent with that shock she tested CMR negative. After the testing had concluded, Zachary stated, “You know, I have to admit that you and Mick are the first divorced couple in the Thurmond family that I have come across, though not the first, and I don’t mean to sound harsh, that lost a child.”
“Yes, the divorce was mostly my fault. Mick was always kind to me. But I needed to leave him because he basically lives at work, and after Kolby’s death I needed more attention. As a couple, dealing with the death of a child is very hard. It wasn’t that Mick was cold about Kolby’s passing, but he never wanted to talk about the memories…”
Zachary realized that he should have asked Mick to take the Philadelphia Grief Inventory, but because he had not, he decided to at least take the opportunity to question Courtney about her husband’s reaction, “Did he seem matter of a fact about Kolby’s death?”
“Like I said he was not a cold man. He gave a stirring beautiful eulogy at his funeral. And he sends flowers to Kolby’s grave pretty much every holiday. But he just wasn’t available to talk about it. But we all grieve in our own way Mr. Dunbar. Kolby was our little baby, our little baseball player boy. He had quite an arm. I remember after Kolby threw Mick a baseball, Mick would sometimes take off his glove and pretend his hand was injured. It was funny.” Courtney paused, adding, “See that right there is something I never could have talked to him about. I just met you and I can talk to you about it. So you can see our marriage wasn’t fated to last. But all and all he was a good father and a good husband.”
“Thank you for your time Mrs. Thurmond…”
Assessment Twelve: Phillip Thurmond’s Household
Phillip’s Relation to Windsor: Brother
Address: 1410 Monk Road, Gladwyne, PE, 19035
Phillip Narrative Tree Snippet:
Philip Thurmond…son of Norman and Virginia Thurmond
B. 1934. Age: 74
Profession: Financial Industries
What do say about me? Clearly, my brother’s had more business acumen than I. Yet they never avoided a chance to give me a helpful tip. I think there were many times that I would have been ruined were it not for the help of the noble Charles or the fearless Donald. One of my saddest moments that must be mentioned is the death of my twin Henry. Oh, Henry Henry I will see you soon on the other side! (Although not too soon I hope for I still have things
to accomplish as a Thurmond’s work is never done!) I’ve heard it said that only a twin can understand the love that a twin has for a twin. I believe that statement to be true through and through. We were inseparable Henry and I. There was no mischief that we didn’t dare to get into. The pneumonia that took him took him oh so fast. But through the fraternity of my brother’s and the love of my parents, I was able to grieve and move forward. Although it is true that I did not achieve as much worldly success as my brother’s, I was no slouch. For seven years my financial advising company… brought in hefty profits, comparable with my brothers. And though tragedy is no excuse for we have all had tragedy in this family in spades surely, it was after I lost my own two children Nat and Woolcott in one horrific year 1977, that my own business drive subsided. It was at this point that my wife Penelope gave her courageous eulogy for our boy’s titled, ‘Herod’s Curse.’ And in this Eulogy she stated that the frequent occurrence in our family of the death of a first or second born male was similar to Herod’s massacre of the innocents in the Bible. However, through my wife’s love and through my daughter Laural’s comforting eyes, I moved forward, and we have remained a functional and nurturing family. In the words of Tiny Tim, “God bless us everyone!”
Laural Toomey…daughter of Philip and Penelope Thurmond
B. 1969 Age: 39
Profession: Homemaker
Laural my daughter my everlasting sun! You bring me hope when the skies bring me only rain. Laural cares for my old bones in our grand Pennsylvania home. Her husband Jeremy is a good man, and her three sons, and my three grandsons, Sawyer, Teddy, and Carl do proud the Thurmond family name!
Sawyer Toomey…son of Laural Toomey and Jeremy Toomey
B. 1993 Age: 15
I don’t know if my daughter Laural named her boy after Tom Sawyer but she should have because that boy muddles into his fair shake of trouble. I remember hearing last summer that he almost blew off his hands with some firecrackers! But if the saying “boys will be boys” were ever true it is true of good old Thurmond Boys! What is more is that he is kind and good and even helps his little brothers with their homework. I hope that my boys Nat and Woolcott have someone as good-hearted as Sawyer to help them with their homework in that great green pasture in the sky!
Teddy Toomey…son of Laural Toomey and Jeremy Toomey
B. 1995 Age: 13
This boy likes to play video-games so much that he has even convinced this old-fart to give them a try! But in this boy I see the makings of a fine man, a man in the tradition of the Thurmond Family way!
Carl Toomey…son of Laural Toomey and Jeremy Toomey
B. 1998 Age: 10
What an explorer! And he likes to read about nature. Carl, I bet that when you grow up you will sail around the world and in doing so will make your granddaddy the proudest of the proud and lend only more glory and greatness to the Thurmond family name!
Gladwyne, PE: After Zachary finished analyzing his recently obtained data he decided to research Gladwyne, which was the town of Philip’s household, the final Thurmond household. Zachary discovered that Gladwyne has one of the highest per capita incomes in the country, had been populated based on its proximity to a Philadelphia railroad station, and had landed most of its old money families when “white flight” from Philadelphia began. However, white flight populating a suburb was nothing unusual and so there was no reason for Zachary to include this information in his report on tested Household Number 12.
The 2000 census determined Gladwyne to be 97.22% white and .32% black (the remainder being other races). This would also seem to hint at a potential dislike for blacks. However, the wealthiest neighborhoods in the U.S. are usually almost 100% white, so this also did not point definitively to racism.
Though they aren’t going out of their way to find a non-segregated area from which to integrate either…
The Gladwyne Thurmonds had offered to shuttle Zachary from Philadelphia to their suburban mansion by way of limousine.
Another bribe offer in the making?
However, Zachary told them he was perfectly capable of driving -- his rental had GPS -- and besides, (though this part went unstated), Zachary wanted to maintain his autonomy.
The Gladwyne Thurmonds’ household consisted of 6 family members. The eldest, Philip Thurmond, author of the narrative family tree, was a widower and he lived with his daughter, Laural, her husband, Jeremy, and their three children, Sawyer, Teddy, and Carly. From the narrative family tree Zachary learned that Philip was CEO of a financial advising company called Water Tower LLC. The company was privately held and so information regarding its financial status was not available for public purview through the SEC.
Zachary surfed the company’s website, but log-in credentials were needed to continue past the first couple of screens. The company advised accredited investors (those with a net worth of U.S. 1 million, not including real estate, or those making over $200,000 per year) on a limited basis. The standard minimum investment in the company was U.S. 10 million.
And this is a man who declared in the narrative family tree that he was much less financially successful than his brothers? If that is true then how financially successful are Charles and Donald?
As Zachary arrived at the property, parking his tiny rental beside a massive SUV, an ambulance slowly pulled away, lights off. While taking a few minutes inside the cramped confines of his rental to organize testing materials another vehicle pulled up, this one a hearse. Groaning, Zachary exited the car and approached the front door apprehensively. Now walking behind a man in a black suit, Zachary thought testing that day clearly unlikely.
And not just for whoever died but for the living as well.
Yet, however unlikely it seemed to the mind of the PHD at that moment – quite – before the day had concluded Zachary would have tested each of the Gladwyne Thurmonds, except, of course, the one who had deceased and who Zachary would soon learn to have been the patriarch, Philip.
Expressions of grief were minimal. No one was crying. In fact, the family seemed more interested that Zachary had arrived than that Philip had departed. Zachary was led into the parlor and instructed to wait. When he stated that he could return later on some future date he was informed that that wouldn’t be necessary and that the testing could continue as scheduled:
No lost love for the recently deceased? I’m guessing we are going to score some pretty high positive CMR traits at this locale…
But as his daughter Laural later explained, “The dementia had lately gotten so bad that this is really a gift, for me, for my husband, and for the children, and most of all for Philip. I don’t know if I’m in shock, or what, but I feel a sense of peace because I feel that Philip is finally at peace.”
“It had lately been difficult?” Zachary asked.
“Pretty much nothing he said lately made sense. It was difficult. The man my father became over the past six months was not the man he was over the course of his life,” said Laural.
“Please explain,” said Zachary.
“You’ve obviously never had a family member succumb to dementia Mr. Thurmond,” said Laural, somewhat gruffly.
“No, but I am familiar with the disease through clinical study, though I am sure that is nothing like the experience of losing someone in its grasp,” said Zachary.
Am I following Windsor’s advice? Am I trying to inject more empathy into my professional capacities?
“It has been very hard. Philip had been such
a loving man and then once the dementia came,” Laural said, stopping mid-thought.
“He was no longer the same loving man?” Zachary guessed.
“Not at all – he became something of a monster,” said Laural.
“How so?” Zachary asked – thinking that even if he couldn’t test Philip, a posthumous description could still be included in the case history section of the final report.
“I’d rather not talk about it. The important thing is that he is at peace now,” said Laural.
These Thurmonds never want to talk about anything…
“I understand. This might not be the best time, but I’m trying to put together a comprehensive family history for my final report. Could you instead tell me about your deceased brothers Nat and Woolcott?” Zachary asked.
“What do you want to know?” Laural asked.
“For starters what is your opinion on Herod’s Curse?” Zachary asked.
“It scares me. Sawyer is a 15 year old and Teddy is 13,” said Laural.
“Sawyer and Teddy yes, but are you aware that Herod’s curse has never struck a bloodline female Thurmond mother, only the fathers?” Zachary asked.
“Yes, there has been talk of that at the Yellow Daisy Lodge, though I probably wouldn’t have noticed it myself. I don’t know. It still doesn’t make me feel safe though. I love my children more than anything. I don’t know what I would do if any of them were to die,” said Laural.
“At the Yellow Daisy Lodge were there any theories tossed about as to why the curse had repeatedly struck at the bloodline male Thurmonds but never the bloodline female Thurmonds?” Zachary asked.
“Sure – all sorts of crazy ideas,” said Laural.
“Do you remember any of them?” Zachary asked.
“Honestly, I try not to think about it because it scares me so I just put it out of my mind,” said Laural.
“That is only natural,” said Zachary.
“But I do remember one theory. I forget who came up with it. But they pointed out that one main difference between the males and the females of the family is that the males vacation at the Gray Cliff Lodge and that the females vacation at the Yellow Daisy Lodge. So maybe the males pick up some bad luck at the Gray Cliff Lodge. Maybe it isn’t the family that is cursed, but that it is that lodge that is cursed,” said Laural.
“And what do you think?” Zachary asked.
“Who knows? Like every other female, Thurmond, I don’t know anything about the Gray Cliff Lodge, so I don’t know,” said Laural.
“Okay that theory makes a little sense but it does have a hole. Even though you don’t attend the Gray Cliff Lodge your boys still do and therefore they could pick up this so-called bad luck on their own,” said Zachary.
“No that isn’t true: perhaps no one told you, but female Thurmonds cannot send their male children to the Gray Cliff Lodge, only male Thurmond fathers can send their male children,” said Laural.
“I didn’t know that, interesting. So where do you send Sawyer and Teddy while you attend the Yellow Daisy lodge?” Zachary asked.
“There’s a private camp not too far from here, they love it…”
Later, after having implemented his CMR tests, Zachary discovered, somewhat shockingly, that the results indicated negative CMR scores for each Gladwyne Thurmond.
False negatives?
So Zachary tested them again but the results were the same.
I should have started with Philip. He wrote the narrative family tree. He was therefore obviously the most likely candidate to share secretive Thurmond family information.
While eating a light meal consisting mainly of venison, an awkward conversation ensued that seemed to touch upon every subject except the man who had just left the house in a box. Remembering that Philip had written in the family tree about a room for the mementos of prematurely deceased Thurmond boys, Zachary mentioned this to Laural.
Nodding her head knowingly, she said, “Yeah, I only read that ridiculous family tree one time but I remember what you are talking about. That room only existed in his mind. There is no room like that in this house.”
“Laural I understand that you don’t want to talk about your Dad right now, and I’m just appreciative that you have actually allowed me to conduct testing today, but is there anyone else around that I could talk to? I just want to try to get at least a little information for my report.”
“If you really like you could talk to his live-in nurse. We told her she could stay until she found another position so she is still here – if she is at home that is – but I do think I just saw her in the kitchen making a sandwich,” said Laural, showing Zachary the way.
In the kitchen Zachary found a meek woman with a mousy face busy consuming a sandwich.
“I bet that is venison,” said Zachary to the nurse.
“You’re right,” said the nurse, smiling.
“Sharon this is Mr. Dunbar, the psychologist I told you about, the one who is conducting the testing,” said Laural, and placing her arm upon Sharon’s shoulder, she added, “Again Sharon I have to thank you for everything you did for my father. You were an angel for him, though I know it was at times quite difficult.”
“Please, no more thanks. I was just doing my job,” said Sharon.
“Yes, but it still needs saying. Mr. Dunbar would like to ask you some questions about father. Don’t hesitate to answer them honestly. I would do it myself but that isn’t the way I want to color my final remembrances,” said Laural.
Sharon told Laural she understood.
“I’ll be outside getting some fresh air if you need me,” said Laural, though neither Zachary nor Sharon was sure who she was speaking too so they both nodded politely.
“How is the venison? I just had a sandwich myself and I thought it delicious,” said Zachary, attempting to build rapport.
“They really know how to cook it here – I will give them that. Actually I’d never had it before I started working here, but now it is venison breakfast, lunch, and dinner,” said Sharon.
“Really, three meals a day? That must get old,” said Zachary.
“Sometimes – so you wanted to talk about Philip?” Sharon asked, sneaking a small bite.
“Yes, Sharon expressed that he became – well the way she actually put it was that he became a ‘monster’ as of late,” said Zachary.
“Mr. Dunbar, I’ve worked with my fair share of dementia patients. Dementia can take a person in any direction and that direction is completely unpredictable. What is difficult for the family is for them to accept that the loved ones are no longer themselves,” said Sharon.
“So what was Philip’s change like?” Zachary asked.
“When I first arrived he was usually polite. Yes, sometimes there would be flashes of anger. But nothing like the despair of his final days,” said Sharon.
“How so?” Zachary asked.
“Well, he had convinced himself that he was a murderer,” said Sharon.
�
� “Really?” Zachary asked, flipping open his pocket notebook.
“And he said that I was too – and moreover, that everyone who lived here was a murderer,” said Sharon.
“And how did he come to this conclusion?” Zachary asked.
“He said it was because we ate Negros,” said Sharon.
“He said that?” Zachary asked.
“Yes,” said Sharon.
“What else did he say?” Zachary asked.
“When he went to his dark place he just kept focusing on that delusion – that we all ate Negros -- stating it over and over again – at first it drove Laural and the rest of the family nuts, but eventually they accepted that this was his delusion, and that it wasn’t his fault that he had this delusion, and that in all probability the delusion was going nowhere,” said Laural.
“Anything else?” Zachary asked.
“I thought that was a pretty good one. It was something that I had never heard anyway,” said Laural.
But not as impossible as you might think…
“No, that is helpful. But was there anything else – let’s say – peculiar about his delusions?” Zachary asked.
“Delusions by nature are peculiar --.”
“I’m sorry that was the wrong word choice – let’s say racial – was there anything else racial about his delusions?” Zachary asked, wondering if dementia had unleashed Philip’s subconscious mind and in the doing had unleashed his latent CMR desires.
This would make a fabulous research question – but what are the odds of ever getting another subject?
“Not really – but it is funny that you should say that. White patients often become quite racist when dementia strikes and much to the families embarrassment the N-word, nigger can be freely tossed about. I don’t know why but this really is a frequent occurrence with white dementia patients,” said Sharon.
Trace elements of CMR perhaps?
“And so this also happened with Philip?” Zachary asked.
“Sort of – except that instead of saying the N-word every one became a Negro, but he used the word Negro in just as derogative a manner as if it had been the N-word,” said Zachary.
“And you found that odd?” Zachary asked.
“It’s just the first time I’ve ever heard one of my old timers do that…”
Zachary spoke with Sharon for a few more minutes and then thanked Laural for her hospitality. She told him to visit if he was ever back in the area.
If I didn’t still have to test Chase’s boy I would actually be finished with testing. Still, I can start to get my final results together for Windsor and begin outlining the final report…
Zachary texted Jasmine, writing:
Jasmine I think I am almost finally finished. Thank God, this assignment has been too much hectic traveling. I’ll be back in Boston tomorrow and after I attend two meetings we should meet up for drinks.
Jasmine replied:
That’s great news! But don’t think you can use the hectic traveling line as an excuse not to take a vacation. A vacation and hectic traveling are not the same thing, and you should still take a vacation and we should still go somewhere!
Zachary replied:
Lol, I still do want to go somewhere with you. By the way, I looked orienteering up on Wikipedia and I still laugh when I think of you doing that.
Jasmine replied:
Hahaha. That is so funny, making fun of orienteering, like everyone I know doesn’t make fun of me for being an orienteer. That is like so original. Jasmine.
Zachary replied:
The Three Stooges repeated a lot of the same gimmicks but they were still funny. So maybe you and orienteering will never stop being funny. Zachary.
Jasmine replied:
Professor, so now you are comparing orienteering with the three stooges? I just might have to cancel those drinks. Jasmine.