Kyle plopped down in the chair across from me and propped his feet on my desk. “What are you trying to get it to do?”
I let out a frustrated huff and collapsed back into my chair, spinning it around in circles as I spoke. “I was hoping to get away for a few days, maybe go to Denver, but I’ve got too much on my plate right now. It’s not possible.” Kyle gave me a look that I couldn’t quite decipher. “What? What’s that look about?”
“It’s about the fact that you have me and Samantha to handle your classes for you for two or three days so you can get out of here and take a load off for a while.”
It was an argument I’d heard several times over the few years he and Samantha had worked for me. Any time Kyle thought I was over-extending myself, he’d say he and Sam could carry more of the weight. It was his way of looking out for me. Being his boss made it a little hard to consider Kyle a true friend since the fact I paid him sometimes blurred the lines, but I had to give him credit, he never stopped trying. His insistence made me wonder if it was just my own insecurities that were the real issue.
“I don’t know,” I hesitated. “You each have your classes, plus we’re gearing up for the Winter Showcase. I just don’t think it’s the right time.”
He rolled his eyes dramatically. “It’s never the right time, as far as you’re concerned. What’s the worst that could happen, huh? We burn the place down?”
That certainly didn’t make me feel any better. “Yes. That. Exactly that.”
“Please,” he scoffed. “Just admit it. You’re a total control freak. That’s why you have so much trouble letting go.”
“Am not!” I objected, even though it was the truth. I was a complete control freak.
He gave me a serious look and sat forward in the chair. “Come on, Lil. It’s just a few days. Trust me, Sam and I can handle that. Besides, whether you want to talk about what you’ve been dealing with the past several weeks or not, we aren’t blind. We know it’s heavy. You need a break, admit it.”
I suddenly felt bad for keeping such a tight hold on everything. I hired both Kyle and Samantha because they were talented and capable. And he was right. I definitely needed a break. “Is it that obvious?”
“That you’ve got some serious heavy in your life right now? Uh, yeah, babe. It’s pretty damn obvious. Look, I’m not telling you to sit here and pour your heart out if that’s not what you want to do, but if taking a little vacation will help you deal with whatever it is that’s going on in your world, then let us help.”
For the first time since this morning, I was actually able to take a deep breath. Kyle couldn’t possibly know it, but his concern for my wellbeing eased some of the weight that had been sitting on my chest for weeks.
I smiled my first real smile since Quinn’s blowup earlier that morning. “Thank you.”
“Anything, honeybun.” Kyle stood and headed for the door, but stopped long enough to look over his shoulder and offer, “I know you’re a private person and all that, but if you ever need to talk… about anything, I’m here. I just want you to know that.”
Maybe I needed to start reevaluating my relationship with Kyle.
“YOU’RE HERE!” ELIZA squeaked as soon as she opened the door to her and Ethan’s loft.
“Oh my God!” I screeched at the sight of her little baby bump. She moved in for a hug just as I ducked down and reached for her belly. It wasn’t until I laid eyes on her belly that I realized how real it was. “You’re going to be a mommy!”
We both let out a tiny scream and jumped in place, embracing each other tightly in celebration.
“Dear Lord,” Ethan’s deep voice echoed around us. “I forgot you two reach ear-bleeding decibels when you’re around each other.”
I laughed and disengaged from Eliza in order to hug Ethan. “And you’re going to be a daddy!”
He squeezed tightly and lifted my feet off the ground for a few seconds. “We’re so glad you’re here,” he told me once he put me back down. “Eliza’s been going crazy up here without her partner in crime.”
“Aw,” I pinched his cheek playfully. “I’ve missed you too.”
He swatted at my hands playfully and stepped back so Eliza could come up beside me and loop her arm across my shoulders. “It’s true. We have missed you. And I can’t wait to take you to the game tomorrow, you’re gong to have so much fun!”
That was exactly what I was counting on. Fun. The perfect thing to keep my mind off the fact my world seemed to be spiraling out of control.
THE GAME WAS insane… in a very good way. I’d never seen Eliza as out of control as she was watching her husband on the field. Maybe it was all the extra hormones from the pregnancy, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen her scream at Ethan to ‘Kill him!’; ‘Stomp him into the ground!’ before. Watching the other players’ wives and girlfriends shy away from my bestie had been the icing on the cake. They seriously thought she was demented. It was great.
After the game, we headed over to a dive bar a few minutes from the stadium where the guys liked to go and decompress. Luckily they’d won, so no one would be drinking their sorrows away. I was on my third IPA, Eliza on her second Shirley Temple, when she dropped the bomb.
“Don’t be mad at me.”
I swallowed my beer and gave her a curious look. “Why would I be mad?” I looked around the bar. Sure, it was weathered and had probably hit its heyday back in the seventies, but it was clean and bug free. “This place isn’t that bad.”
“No. Not about the bar.” I followed her gaze through the dingy window and spotted Ethan on the sidewalk just outside. And he wasn’t alone. That was when it dawned on me.
“What did you do?”
Just then, Ethan’s loud, boisterous laughter rang out, resonating through the semi-empty bar.
Eliza’s voice lowered to a whisper and she began talking at a fast clip. “I know you said you weren’t up for any blind dates, but he’s a really nice guy, I swear. His name is Alex Sanders, he’s twenty-seven, single, never been married, no arrest record, and a Defensive End for the team. And I never would have done this, but he saw a picture of you and found out you were here for the weekend. He asked Ethan about setting him up.”
“Shit,” I hissed out, picking up my draft glass and downing the rest of the contents, then waving at the bartender for another. “I should be pissed, but I can’t when you’re carrying my niece or nephew.” I gave her a fake glare as she burst out into laughter. “I came here to relax,” I admitted quietly. “I needed to get away and de-stress for a few days, Eliza. This doesn’t really help me with that.”
Her eyes grew concerned and she tipped her head to the side to study me, however, Ethan and his friend reached us before she could say a word.
“Ladies.” I turned around and pasted a smile on my face as Ethan introduced me to his teammate.
Alex took the barstool on my left, putting me between him and Eliza. “Can I order you another drink?” he asked just as the bartender set my fourth beer in front of me.
“Sorry.” I gave him an apologetic smile. “But I’ll let you get the next one?
He laughed and I noticed then that he was actually pretty cute. Tall, really flipping tall, built, light brown hair and eyes, but that spark I probably would have felt from looking at him a few months ago just wasn’t there.
“I’ll take you up on that.” He ordered a Bud Light from the bartender and turned back to me, holding out his hand for me to shake. His entire hand engulfed mine and I almost giggled thinking of all the women who probably compared the size of his hands to the size of his penis. Okay, so maybe I was a little buzzed. “It’s nice to meet you. Eliza and Ethan talk about you all the time.”
“It’s nice to meet you too.”
Alex was a pretty laid back guy, and the longer we all hung out at the bar, the more I enjoyed his company… in a strictly platonic way. After beer number five, my cellphone vibrated in my purse. I knew I needed to switch to water when I pulled my phone o
ut and had to close one eye in order to read the text.
They were two simple words that came two days too late. But they still hit me right in the chest.
Quinn: I’m sorry.
So much for leaving my stress back in Pembrooke. With a large sigh, I hit the button to make the screen go black and shoved the phone back into my purse.
“Everything okay?” Alex asked, his expression one of curiosity.
I tried to smile but knew it felt short. “Yeah. It’s all good.” My phone vibrated again, and like the masochist I was, I pulled it out and read it.
Quinn: And I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to apologize. Can I come over so we can talk?
Well shit.
“Boyfriend?”
Alex’s voice startled me back into reality. “What? Oh, no. No boyfriend.” I exited out of my texts and sat the phone down on the bar top.
“So, if there’s no boyfriend…” I really didn’t like the way he trailed off and smiled. “Maybe you’d be willing to go to dinner with me tomorrow night?”
Well shit.
I pulled in a deep breath and prepared to give my first ever rejection. Thank God I was a little drunk. “Look, Alex. You seem like a great guy—”
“Oh wow. The kiss of death.”
“I’m sorry,” I said sympathetically. “I really am. I’ve just got a lot going on in my life right now. I’m kind of a mess.”
“Well, how about this?” Alex picked up my phone and started typing something out. “I’ve enjoyed hanging out with you tonight. If there comes a time when you’re feeling like less of a mess, why don’t you give me a call, yeah?”
He handed my phone to me and I saw he’d saved his number in my contacts. I smiled and answered, “I’ll be sure to do that,” even though I knew I wouldn’t be calling him.
ELIZA HANDED ME a mug of hot tea and plopped down on the couch next to me later that night. We’d stayed at the bar long enough for me to sober up. By the time we got home, Ethan and I were both ready to crash, but Eliza had some sort of crazy hormonal surge which made her as alert as ever. Since Ethan had played earlier, he had an excuse to go to bed. I decided to stay up with her so we could catch up, just the two of us. “So…” she started with a sly grin. “You and Alex seemed to really hit it off.”
I rolled my eyes. Of course she’d think that. She and her husband had spent seventy percent of the evening with their tongues stuck down each other’s throats, clueless to everything going on around them.
At least she wasn’t totally wrong. We had hit it off enough to keep each other company while our friends went at it like horny teenagers.
“Not going to happen, Eliza. Drop it,” I warned.
Her head cocked to the side as she regarded me, her face suddenly awash with concern. “What’s going on with you, babe?”
I brought the mug to my lips and blew before taking a sip, all the while, keeping my eyes diverted. “What do you mean?”
“Something’s off. You haven’t been yourself lately. And I’m not just talking about this weekend. Every time I call you’re… I don’t know, distracted or something.”
I tried to look placating as I shrugged. I came to escape, not rehash all the bad shit going on in my life. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just busy with the school and stuff.”
She shook her head and leaned forward, sitting her own mug on the coffee table so she could turn her entire body to face me. “That’s not it. I’ve seen you busy around this time of year. I know what that’s like. This is different.” She paused and studied my face, like she could read me. “Talk to me, honey. You’ve always been there for me whenever I needed you. Let me do the same.”
I let out a deep sigh and placed my mug down next to hers as my nose began to sting. There was no point in trying to keep it to myself any longer. I knew Eliza well enough to know she wasn’t going to let this go. I also knew I needed her more than anything at this very moment. For those reasons, I found myself opening my mouth and admitting, “Dad’s dying.” It physically hurt to say those two words out loud.
“What?”
“Cancer,” I said in a raspy, pained voice. “It was too far gone by the time they found it. There’s nothing they can do.” My chin quivered as the first of many tears broke free. “He’s dying.”
“Oh my God.” And just like that, she was across the couch, wrapping me in her arms and holding on tight. “I’m so sorry. So, so sorry, Lilly. I can’t believe this.”
I pulled back with a sniffle and wiped at my cheeks. “Yeah. Me too.”
“So that’s why you wanted to come this weekend? To de-stress?”
Part of the reason, I thought. Instead of saying that out loud, I simply nodded. “Yeah.”
“Shit. And here I am, trying to set you up on a date. God, I suck so bad!”
I managed a laugh and took her hand in mine. “You don’t suck. You didn’t know.”
Her shoulders squared and she lifted her chin in determination. “Well, if you need to de-stress, then that’s exactly what we’re going to do for the rest of the weekend. I’m talking manicures, pedicures, facials, massages… the full spa treatment.”
My head fell back against the couch. I could just imagine how amazing it would feel to be pampered. “That sounds amazing.”
“Totally. And to make you feel even better, we’re going to put the whole thing on Ethan’s credit card.” She winked and we both burst into laughter.
“You know me so well,” I teased.
“Damn right I do.” She picked up her mug and settled back into the couch, her entire demeanor shifting from humorous to serious. “I’m here, Lilly. I might not physically be in Pembrooke, but I’m always here for you. Don’t ever doubt that.”
“I know, sweetie,” I whispered. “But you’re pregnant and I didn’t—”
She shot me a cutting glare. “Pregnant or not, that doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been my best friend since elementary school. I practically grew up in your house. I love your folks like they’re my second family. You’ve always had my back whenever I needed it. Now it’s my turn to return the favor. Let me do that for you.”
Somehow I managed to speak past the mass of emotions building up in my throat. “Okay.” There was no point in arguing with her.
“So what can I do for you, huh? How can I help?”
I looked from the mug back to her and answered, “You can get me drunk. Very, very drunk.”
She smiled brightly at me. “I can totally do that.”
Quinn
I WASN’T EVEN sure how it happened, but I’d somehow managed to sink to a whole new low.
I was stalking Lilly’s Facebook and Instagram pages like a creep. But when I stopped by the dance school and found out from that Kyle guy that she’d gone to Denver for the weekend, I kind of lost my mind. I hadn’t seen her in three days. I was like a junky in need of a fix. If Eliza’s last comment on her Facebook page was anything to go by, Lilly should be on her way back home today. Unfortunately, I was in the middle of a shift at the department and had another twelve hours to go.
I needed to talk to her. I had to apologize face to face and try to make things right. But mostly, I needed to find out why the fuck there were so many pictures of her on Alex Sanders’ Instagram page and what happened over the weekend to make them look so goddamned cozy together.
I’d texted her countless times over the weekend, even called twice, trying to get her to talk to me, but each one went unanswered. That was, until earlier this morning. She finally replied back saying: In Denver. Will be home tonight. See you at Sophia’s class Wednesday.
I had no fucking clue how to interpret that, but it left me feeling uneasy. I’d asked her if we could talk, and instead of saying yes or giving me a time to meet, I had to wait two goddamned days after she got home to see her, and even then, it would only be in passing when I dropped my daughter off and picked her up.
I was going out of my mind.
“Hey man.” I jumpe
d at the sound of Tony’s voice coming from behind me. Before I had a chance to shut my laptop down, he and Carpenter moved in. “Hey, isn’t that Lilly? And is that…”
“Holy shit!” Carpenter exclaimed. “Is that Alex Sanders?”
“Yes,” I hissed through clenched teeth.
“Dude, his hand’s really close to her tits. I thought she was your girl.”
I gave Carpenter a bewildered look even as the image of that particular picture of Lilly and Alex seared itself to the backs of my eyelids. “What? She’s not my girl. Where the hell’d you come up with that idea?”
Tony and Carpenter glanced at each other, both with a cocked eyebrow, before turning back to me. “Uh… maybe because you watched her like you wanted to take a bite out of her that time she stopped by?” Carpenter said.
“Or because you talk about her all the damn time like a pussy-whipped teenager?” Tony added.
“Or that you’re constantly texting her?”
“Or stalking her social media accounts in the middle of work?”
“All right!” I shouted, cutting them both off. “You’ve made your point.” I slammed the laptop closed and scrubbed my face with both hands. “Fuck,” I hissed. “This whole thing’s a goddamned mess.”
Carpenter grabbed an apple from the bowl on the counter and leaned back, crossing his ankles as he took a bite. “So, she’s not your girl?” he asked through a full mouth.
“No,” I grunted.
“Then… you wouldn’t mind if I made a move?”
All I saw was red as I glared at him. “Touch her, and I’ll break every bone in your fucking body.”
He shot a smirk in Tony’s direction and muttered, “Not his girl my ass,” before taking another bite.
I was just about to rip into him when my cellphone rang from my back pocket. I stood and pulled it out, and as soon as I saw the name on the screen, moved out of the kitchen into the empty bay for some privacy.
“Ethan, man. What’s up?”
A Broken Soul (The Pembrooke Series Book 3) Page 11