I nod, too filled with emotion to say anything. Hug him again.
“Your mom,” he whispers.
I step back from him and walk to my mom, kneel on the grass and hold her hands. “Thanks for coming, Mom. I know this is hard for you.”
A smile cracks her thin lips. “You’re strong. You’re so much stronger than I ever was or could be.” She pulls her hands from mine and cups my face, speaking with slow, labored breaths.
I cover her hands on my face with mine. Swallow down the knot in my throat. I have no idea what to say. But that’s okay, she understands me. She knows I have forgiven her. Her hands drop to her lap, burrow under the blanket. She’s dying before my eyes.
My father puts a hand on my shoulder, squeezes, then moves her wheelchair into a sunny spot. She closes her eyes and tilts her head up to the sun.
Tommy steps in and hugs me. It’s a much-needed distraction. “Don’t forget me.”
“Nah, never. Thank you for being here. You’re a good friend, Tommy.”
He whispers in my ear, “I’m not alone.”
I step back. “What do you mean?”
He nods toward the willow tree.
Dylan.
He’s leaning on the tree, legs crossed at the ankles, hands in his jacket pocket, looking casual and absolutely perfect.
He pushes off of the tree and takes lazy steps my way. People call his name and wave. He acknowledges them and continues to walk in my direction. My heart takes a dive into my stomach when he stands in front of me. He hasn’t shaved in a few days.
My hands ache to touch him, I cross my arms and grasp my elbows.
A lazy, sexy smile grazes his lips. “Hi.”
I want to taste that smile. “Hi.”
He flexes his fingers, steps closer, inches between us. “You did it.”
“I did it.” Everything and everyone fades away. It’s just the two of us standing here.
He reaches for me, touches the tassel, letting it slide between his fingers. “You’re all done now.”
Shivers run down my spine, and it has nothing to do with the cool breeze ruffling my hair. “Not quite. I got accepted for a master’s program. Starting all over again in September.”
“Here?” He searches my face, a smile spreading on his lips.
“No.”
His face falls, the smile gone. “Where?”
“UV.”
“As in the University of Vermont?”
“That’s the one.”
His smile returns. “Not too far, then.”
“No, thirty minutes away.”
“Why? I thought you wanted to stay here and work with Magda.”
“I did. I do. I’ll still work with her. She’s helping me with a job. But there was another little matter to deal with.”
He tilts his head. “Which little matter?”
“You know, the matter of a grad student dating a professor.”
His smile broadens. “You know there’s no policy in the books against it, right?”
“I do. But still. I didn’t want to call attention to it and have anyone talking. Especially when he’s a professor of ethics.”
“A professor of ethics, huh? Who’s this lucky guy you plan on dating?”
I almost make a joke, come up with something clever or evasive. But decide the plain truth is best. “You.”
“Oh my God, get a room already. The eye-fucking is killing me!”
River. Of course it had to be her. So much for not calling attention to us and having people talking. Everyone is looking for whom she’s talking about. We take a step back from each other.
“Nothing to see here, move along, people. You graduated, now go away.” She approaches us, followed by her new guy. She engulfs me in a tight hug, then play-hits Dylan in the shoulder. His reaction is comical. Brows pop up, he sidesteps and glances at me.
“I knew it.” River goes on. “Called it almost a year ago. First week of classes.”
She did.
“River,” I whisper-shout.
“Whaaat?” she whisper-shouts back at me. “If he’s going to be in the family, he better get used to me.”
Dylan looks from her, to me, and to her boyfriend, Liam.
Liam shrugs. “Just go with it, dude. It’s a lot easier. Trust me.”
“Guys?” my dad calls. “I got reservations in thirty minutes. Everyone hungry?”
He looks at Dylan and Tommy. “Let’s go, you two are coming too.”
When I first walked into Riggins, I never imagined I’d leave with a best friend for life.
I never imagined I’d leave with a family.
I never imagined I’d leave with a man who loves me and whom I love just as much.
So much can happen in four years. So much can happen in a few months, in a single moment.
For so long I allowed myself and my life to be defined by what happened to me. Defined by the hurt, angry, and afraid girl I once was.
No more.
It’s not as simple as that, I know. I have much to do. Loving myself, learning to heal and forgive is something I may have to work on for the rest of my life.
I have learned I can’t change the past. But as my father said on that very first day we met, I can change the future.
The choices I make today, the people I keep in my life will set the path of my tomorrow. And I’ll be damned if I don’t make it a much better one than I ever thought possible.
Epilogue
Two Years Later
“When are you guys going to make me an uncle?”
Tommy’s question startles me so much I drop the cake pan I’m washing into the sink. The sound reverberates throughout the quiet kitchen.
“Jesus, Tommy. You scared the heck out of me.” I grab the pan and finish rinsing it, ignoring his crazy question.
“I’m home. Smells so good in here—oh, hey, Tommy. Didn’t know you were coming over today,” Dylan says when he walks into the kitchen.
I smile. Looking at him always makes me smile. “I made you banana chocolate chunk cake.”
Dylan slugs his brother’s shoulder, then ruffles his hair before stopping behind me and holding me to him. My back to his front. He drops a kiss on my shoulder and a chaste peck on my lips when I look up at him.
“Yum.” I don’t know if Dylan is referring to me or the cake.
Tommy drags a chair and sits at the island. “Don’t ignore me. When are you guys going to make me an uncle?”
Dylan stiffens behind me. “What?”
“You’ve been dating for two years, the last year of which you’re living together. It’s time, no?”
Dylan steps back from me. I turn around, grab a dish towel and dry my hands. Don’t look at Dylan. We’ve never talked about the future or kids in any meaningful way. Dylan knows the idea scares me. We’re taking it a day at a time.
Dylan crosses his arms, leans on the sink next to me. “What are you talking about, Tommy?”
“You two and this whole ‘taking it slow, a day at a time’ thing. Two years. That’s like …” He pauses and looks up, his mouth moving silently. “Like seven hundred thirty days. That’s enough thinking. I’m not getting any younger, and I want a nephew or niece to spoil.”
Dylan’s body shifts next to me, and I meet his gaze. One eyebrow raised. I don’t know what to say either. I take a page out of Dylan’s therapy book. “What makes you say that?”
“I thought it would be fun to have a baby in the house again. Bring some life back into it. Make some changes.”
As far as I know, no changes have been made to the house since their parents died. A baby would definitely force Dylan to make some changes. He has kept it up and painted the house, but always the same colors.
Dylan is nodding. “You’re right. The house could use a freshening up. But I don’t think we need a baby for that.”
“How about a dog instead?” Tommy says.
“A dog?” Dylan scratches his head.
“Yes.” Tom
my nods aggressively. “This house needs a dog for sure.”
I shrug. “I’ve never had a dog before. I like dogs.”
“And I’m moving back in. I’m tired of the dorms. So next semester, I’ll be home, and I can take care of it. We can go to the shelter, and I’ll have the entire summer to train her and—”
“Tommy! Is this your roundabout way of telling me you want to move back in? Because if so, you don’t need a baby or a dog for that.”
“I know.”
“This is your home. This will always be your home. We”—Dylan points at the three of us—“are a family, and will always be.”
“Can I still get a dog though?”
Dylan nudges me with his shoulder. “Guess we’re getting a dog.”
I smile. “Can we name it River?”
That’s a Wrap…
Dear reader:
I want to thank you for coming along on this ride. I hope you enjoyed reading Becca and Dylan’s story.
I would love to read your thoughts on it. Please consider leaving a brief review in one or more of the following:
Amazon
GoodReads
BookBub
Afterword
As promised, I highly recommend these books.
They have been an invaluable resource.
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk MD.
It Wasn't Your Fault: Freeing Yourself from the Shame of Childhood Abuse with the Power of Self-Compassion by Beverly Engel.
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown.
And also RAINN.org. You don’t have to be silent.
Acknowledgments
Writing is a solitary endeavor, but that does not mean that we are alone in this author journey. The book you hold in your hands, be it virtual words on a device or a paperback, is just the tip of an iceberg made up of many people. People who stand in the shadows and behind the curtains. But their support and presence is no less important. While I can’t name every person who in one way or another guided and helped me in this journey, my heartfelt thanks travels across the universe to each of them, and each of you.
To my husband—my real life book boyfriend and the inspiration for all the sexy scenes, a man who knows the true meaning of ladies first—I’ll love you across space and time and multiple life times.
To my two boys, who taught me the meaning of unconditional love. You are as excited as I am about every book. But no, you can’t read them.
Thank you Johana Vera for all the support, and for being my side-kick from the other side of the world. Can’t wait to read your books.
Thank you Giseli Vargas for being an awesome book-buddy and friend, and sorry, Sophia—you can’t read my books until you’re at least 30. #Momrules.
Thanks Lisa Hall-Wilson, and also all the girls in the Deep POV workshop. You were the first to have eyes in this story and your feedback was invaluable.
To the dozens of mental health professionals who took the time to listen to my questions and answer them, I thank you again. I have learned much from you.
I also want to thank my fellow authors in the Do Not Disturb Book Club. You guys have been a great source of knowledge and support. Dear reader, if you are not in our club, you need to join us. We have loads of fun every day.
And last, but not least, I want to say thanks to you reading these words right now.
Thank you for the kindness, for telling me the words I’ve written have touched you. You have no idea how meaningful it is to me that something I created has touched you. Because above all, as human beings, what we crave most is connection. And words are a beautiful bridge between us.
Much love,
Erica.
Also by Erica Alexander
Riggins U Series
Because of Logan
Because of Liam
Because of Dylan
Riggins U Box Set (books 1 & 2)
Seventeen Wishes
Would you like a signed paperback?
Find them here.
Erica Alexander has been a storyteller her entire life. If she’s not writing stories, she’s daydreaming about them. Which has gotten her in trouble once or twice. She has an inclination to use sarcasm and she can make anything that comes out of her mouth, sound dirty. It’s a gift.
Erica’s life goals are: to make sure her family is happy and healthy, bring to life all the stories in her head, visit Australia, and jump off a plane. Preferably with a parachute.
Erica has degrees in Communications and Computer Science and she loves history, all things Native American, and anything that’s off the beaten path and weird.
You can find Erica at:
Erica’s Webpage.
Join Erica’s Reader Group.
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Because of Dylan: A forbidden student teacher slow burn romance (Riggins U Book 3) Page 28