by Morgan James
Losing my teammate and suffering from near-fatal injuries had me rethinking my life. Before, I’d never hesitated before to put my life on the line. I lived for the rush. But life changed, and so did people. Now I was... comfortable, if not entirely happy.
I sighed as I glanced around the quiet office, wondering not for the first time what Jules was doing today. Though Jack and Mia had invited us over for Christmas dinner, we’d both declined. This wasn’t my first holiday alone, nor would it be my last. The thought of Jules not being around this time next year stung more than it should have, and I pushed down the disappointment.
Maybe after she left, I would make more of an effort to date. I just had no idea how I’d ever find someone who made me feel a fraction of what she did.
Chapter 25
Giuliana
I opened the door of the oven once more to check on dinner, then closed it up and nervously wiped my hands on the towel as I glanced at the clock. The digital green numbers told me that it was already after six o’clock, a good hour past the time when Eric normally got home. I wondered if he was still avoiding me. For the past few days, we had pretty much danced around each other in uncomfortable silence. He pretended to ignore me, and I did my best to not let on how much it bothered me.
My ears perked up as I heard the door of the mud room open, then close again. There was shuffling as I imagined him hanging up his coat and toeing out of his boots as he did every time he entered the house. Several moments later, Eric stepped into the kitchen. His face was drawn, exhausted, as if he hadn’t slept in several days. He looked exactly the way I felt. His head tipped back as he sniffed the air appreciatively.
“Something smells good.”
Growing up, we’d had a chef who made all of our meals. This was my first time really making a meal, and I’d scoured the internet for the perfect recipe. I’d followed it to the letter, and it smelled divine. I was immensely proud of the way it’d turned out.
I willed my pulse to slow as a nervous smile lifted my lips. “I figured you didn’t have a chance to eat today, so...” I lifted my hands in a little shrugging motion.
Eric eyed me from where he stood just outside the kitchen. “You cooked dinner for me?”
“Well...” I rolled the hem of my shirt between my fingers. “I wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done, and I couldn’t really afford to get you a gift so... this was the best I could come up with on short notice.”
His head tipped slightly to one side. “You didn’t have to do this.”
He made no move to come closer, and the hope that had begun to bloom in my chest quickly died away, turning to embarrassment. Was he going to refuse my gift? I stared at him. “I know. I wanted to.”
For a long moment we just stared at each other, then finally, he shook his head. “I can’t accept this.”
Disappointment and humiliation mingled in my gut, and I swallowed hard. “Right.” I threw the dish towel on the counter. “You can bring me dinner every night under the pretense that Rosie sends extra home with you, but I can’t make you dinner to show my appreciation for taking me in when you didn’t have to?”
Face carefully blank, his lips parted to speak. “I don’t...”
I gave a short laugh when he trailed off. He could refuse to eat a simple thank-you dinner, but apparently he couldn’t bring himself to lie to my face. “You don’t know what I’m talking about? How about the fact that Rosie told me you order two meals each day? I know damn well you only eat one of them, so who is the other one for?” Thoroughly frustrated at his complete and utter lack of communication, I started to push past him out of the kitchen.
“Capotosta,” I muttered under my breath.
A strong hand wrapped around my arm and whirled me back to him. I let out a little gasp as the motion brought my face only inches from his. “What did you say?”
Anger welled up, spilling over, and I planted my hands on his chest, shoving as hard as I could. His huge body didn’t even move, and the feel of his hard chest beneath my fingers only served to infuriate me more, reminding me of my attraction to him—and the magnetic pull between us that he continued to fight. “It means you’re bullheaded, you arrogant son of a bitch.”
His eyes flashed and his nostrils flared, his fingers tightening around my bicep. He gave a little jerk, and my body swayed the slightest bit toward him. He drew in a deep breath, then exhaled, the feel of his breath warm against my face. His thumb softly stroked the skin of my upper arm as he stared down at me. I waited for him to say something—anything—but he remained obstinately silent.
I gave him one last chance. “Will you have dinner with me?”
Something flickered in his eyes, but he remained quiet for a long moment. Finally, he gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head.
My heart dropped to my toes and I pulled out of his hold. The bridge of my nose burned as tears rose, and I quickly turned away to keep him from seeing the moisture gathering in my eyes. Spine straight, I headed down the hallway, determined to keep my composure. I could practically feel his gaze on my back as I moved away. Part of me hoped he’d come after me, but I knew he wouldn’t.
Just a few more steps... Inside the bedroom, I closed and locked the door then let the angry tears fall. The man was absolutely maddening. He wanted me—I knew he did—so why was he fighting it? He tried so hard to control his emotions, his reactions to me, and I wanted to smack that look of indifference right off his face. I wanted him to look at me with unrestrained desire—not the quick glimpses that flashed in his eyes before he tamped them down. Why couldn’t he see that I wanted it, too?
Men thought they owned and controlled everything, and I was sick of it. I was tired of having no authority over my own life. Never had I been able to make my own decisions. My entire life had been planned out from the day I entered this world. I’d always known that I would grow up, marry a made man, and live a life of luxury surrounded by secrets and funded by dirty money. I’d hated the idea then, and I hated it even more now. Maybe it was because I’d had a taste of what life outside the famiglia could be like. A tiny piece of me missed my home, the men and women I’d grown up with. But all of it had been fabricated—everything arranged to strengthen the bonds between families and different factions. Just like my marriage to Nikolai was intended to settle a feud between the famiglia and the Bratva.
I swiped angrily at my tears. My virginity was just a commodity to be auctioned off to the highest bidder. I deserved more than that. I wanted to be the one who got to decide what to do with it. It was my right, damn it. For the past twenty years, I hadn’t had a say in anything—not my clothes or hair, and certainly not my behavior. Every day had been strategically planned out, a revolving door of tutors and tailors. I didn’t have the chance to just be me.
I was seen as merely an object, not a person. But Eric—he saw me. I knew he did. I saw the desire deep in those eyes, the temptation thick in that growly voice. I was no longer the broken girl he’d picked up almost two weeks ago. He’d shown me what it was like to feel safety and comfort, and I wanted to show him my appreciation. More than that, I wanted control over my own life, over my body. I was so tired of watching over my shoulder, always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I wasn’t stupid enough to think that my uncle would give up looking for me. He would hunt me down on principle alone for running away. Moreover, I’d foiled whatever plans he’d had to soothe affairs with the Russians. If he didn’t need me so badly, I knew he’d kill me for that.
I hadn’t been around men other than family members for most of my life. Bodyguards followed me like oversized shadows, but I’d never had a boyfriend. I’d been deprived of the most normal teenage relationships. I read articles online, and I felt the pull of desire deep in my core when I looked at Eric.
I’d never felt about a man the way I did with him. I was attracted to him, and I knew he was attracted to me too. Maybe Eric didn’t want any more complications. I’d already turne
d his life upside down and was basically living with him. Was that why he was hesitant to deepen our relationship? He’d seen me at rock bottom, sleeping in my car, still bruised from the altercation with my uncle. Eric was honorable, kind, and caring. Over the past couple weeks, he’d taken it upon himself to fulfill the role of protector. But that wasn’t what I wanted from him. I’d be lying if I said he didn’t make me feel safe—I’d never felt more secure with another man. I just wanted... more. I wanted to be desired, loved.
He was nothing if not noble. As sheriff, I expected nothing less. But was that it, or was it... more? Was he afraid to give into temptation? Maybe Mia was right. Did the gap in our age bother him that much? I just had to show him that I was ready for more. I’d done pretty much everything I could think of to make him see me as a woman. But he wouldn’t act on his desires. He would never make the first move if he thought it would be taking advantage of me. I would have to completely bare my soul, put myself out there for him.
Part of me understood why he was hesitant to act on his desires—because I was absolutely positive that’s what I saw in those striking hazel eyes. I didn’t know if he was capable of deeper affection or not, but I needed to find out.
The thought of rejection made my knees tremble, and I sank down on the bed. I really had two choices. I could keep going the way things were, my heart hurting every time I saw him, or I could try to win him over. My heart was already cracked. What was the worst that would happen? If he told me no, I would pick myself up, pull myself together, and move on.
I was determined to make one last overture to win him over. If this attempt failed, I would leave him alone for good. Of course, if this didn’t work out, it would probably make things so awkward between us that I would have to leave. Was I ready for that? I wasn’t sure I had a choice. Being here with Eric, slowly falling for him but knowing that he may never return my feelings was breaking my heart. I couldn’t continue to put myself out there only to be shot down every time. Deep down, I knew he was worth the fight, and I was willing to give it one last try.
I took my time brushing out my hair so it hung down my back in loose, tousled waves. I used the makeup I’d borrowed from Mia to bring some color to my face and dressed carefully in the red lingerie I’d purchased from Joey’s shop. Taking one last long look in the mirror, I took a deep breath and gathered every last ounce of courage before striding out to the living room.
He sat on the couch, and I saw surprise flare—and lust—in his eyes before his expression shuttered once more. His knees were spread wide, and I moved between them, so close I could reach out and touch him. I forced myself to meet his gaze. “You said you don’t make love.”
Every inch of me trembled, and I steeled my spine against those eyes, hooded now as they studied me. He blinked, the only indication that he’d heard me, and with a sharp inhale, I rushed on. “I want you to fuck me.”
Chapter 26
Eric
What the actual fuck?
Shock pinned me to the couch, the sound of that dirty word falling from those perfect, sweet lips damn near inconceivable. I wanted to bend her over my knee and paddle her ass red for thinking it, let alone saying it aloud. I wanted... goddamn it, I wanted to do exactly what she asked and fuck her so hard she forgot how to speak altogether.
The woman in front of me wasn’t the reserved girl I’d met twelve days ago. She was a fucking goddess—a walking, breathing temptation. Though she was still too thin, her lithe, nubile body was perfectly rounded in all the right places. My hands ached to take her breasts, feel the tight little nipples outlined beneath the lace of her bra. I curled my fingers into my thighs, desperately trying to rein in my desire.
She had no idea what she was asking. I leveled a hard stare at her, hoping it would break her. But Jules stood stubbornly, statue-still, the only sign of her distress the faint twitch of her fingers at her side. Anger consumed me. She wanted to push me? I’d play her game and give it right back, twice as hard.
I grasped the backs of her legs and yanked her toward me. I caught her as she stumbled, lifting her so she was spread over my lap. Her hands moved to my shoulders, gliding upward to the back of my neck. The sensation of her nails scraping the sensitive skin sent a bolt of pleasure straight to my groin. My cock leaped between us, pressing eagerly against my zipper. The heat from her core was so close, I could feel it through the fabric of my pants. I wondered with sick curiosity if I’d have a wet spot from where she rested on my thighs.
I cupped her cunt. “You want me to fuck this pretty pussy?”
My fingers slipped past the barrier of her panties and glided along her lips. I barely managed to hold back a groan as I slipped a finger inside. Holy fuck, was she wet. I pressed a second finger deep inside her, delighting in her sexy little gasp as she dropped her head forward, burying her face in the crook of my neck.
“So fucking tight, baby.” Her head tipped to one side, allowing me better access, and I bit her neck. “Do you want my cock inside you?”
The jerky motion of her head must’ve been a nod, but I needed her words. “Yes or no?” I sank my teeth into her skin again, and she hissed in a breath. “Because I want to feel you. I’ve been dreaming of being buried deep inside you, pounding into you, feeling you come on my dick.”
Jules let out a whimper and wiggled on my lap, bringing her closer to me. Her nails dug into my shoulders, spurring me on. Fingers still buried deep inside her, I fisted my free hand in her hair, wound it around my wrist, and yanked hard. Her back bowed, thrusting those perky, perfect tits toward me, and my cock jumped at the sight. I wanted to see what was beneath the sexy red bra, imagining what she’d look like bare. Would her nipples be large or small? Dusky pink or brown?
“I want to fuck you long and hard and rough.” I pressed my thumb against her clit, moving in small circles. “Is that what you want?”
“Yes,” she breathed. “Yes, I want... I need...”
She broke off, panting heavily as the walls of her pussy tightened around my fingers. I’d be damned if I was going to let her come on my hand. Hell, no. She was going to come on my cock—multiple times if I had any say in the matter.
She let out a cry of distress as I pulled my hand free of her pretty red panties. “No! Don’t... Don’t stop, please!”
Her pleas fueled me, breaking the tenuous grip on my resistance. Lifting my hand to her face, I painted her lips with my fingers, coating them with her juices. “Taste it, baby. Taste how much you want me.”
Her tiny pink tongue darted out, tasting the musky, salty nectar. Unable to hold back, I fused my mouth with hers, drinking in the taste of her sweetness on her plump lips. The sensation was erotic as hell. I pulled on her hair, breaking the kiss, and her nails cut into my shoulders as she let out a needy moan.
“Eric!”
Two syllables. That’s all it took for me to lose my mind and my control. Slamming my mouth over hers, I stood with her still in my arms and stalked toward the bedroom. Maneuvering from memory, I made my way to the bed until my thighs bumped the mattress.
Ripping my mouth from hers, I tossed her on the bed. Her breasts jiggled as she landed with a bounce, and she let out a sexy little gasp as I caged her in my arms. I’d give her one last out. “You’re tempting the beast, baby. Last chance.”
Her teeth burrowed into her lower lip, and she shook her head. I lifted an eyebrow. “Is that a yes or no?”
She grabbed the fabric of my shirt and pulled me toward her. “Don’t stop.”
Ah, fuck. I groaned into her mouth as her tongue tangled with mine. Reaching between us, I popped the button on my fly and worked the material of my pants down my legs. Breaking the kiss, I unzipped my shirt and tossed it to the floor, then shucked my boxers.
Yanking open the drawer of the nightstand, I grabbed a condom. I stroked my cock with one hand as I ripped the foil packet open with my teeth then rolled the thin material over my straining erection.
Jules stared at me from wher
e she lay on the bed, propped up on her elbows, and her tongue darted out to wet her lips. I could see the faint glistening in the bright moonlight, and my cock jumped. I wanted those gorgeous lips wrapped around my cock. But first... I needed to be inside her. I was on fire, ready to fucking burst, and I couldn’t wait another second to feel her.
I hadn’t lied to her earlier—I’d fantasized about this moment hundreds, if not thousands, of times this past week. She was fucking gorgeous, so young and naïve, but so goddamn tempting at the same time. The sexy little vixen shifted her legs, hiding her sensitive folds from me. A feral smile broke over my face. I was going to get very well acquainted with that part of her very soon.
I climbed onto the bed and prowled over her, prying her knees apart. My favorite assets were still covered in red lace, and that just wouldn’t do. Reaching behind her back, I flicked the clasp on her bra and drew it up her arms, then tossed it over my shoulder. Jules’s hands moved to cover her breasts and I shook my head. “Huh-uh, gorgeous. You’re going to let me see you. All of you,” I emphasized as I took her wrists and lifted them over her head. The motion pushed her breasts higher, and my attention zeroed in on them. I rubbed a palm over one tiny pink tip, and it pebbled under my touch.
Jules arched her back at the sensation, and I dropped a kiss on her navel, then moved south. She lifted her hips as I slipped my fingers beneath the waistband of her panties. The backs of my fingers grazed the soft skin as I pulled them down her legs. She slipped her feet free of the material, then automatically tried to clench her legs together again. I lifted a brow. “What did I just say?”
She blinked up at me, and I halted my movements as I stared down at her. “I asked you a question.”
She licked her lips nervously. “You... you want to see me.”
Her legs reluctantly fell open as I tugged on one knee. “That’s right, baby. I want to see every...” I trailed my lips up her inner thigh, punctuating each word with a kiss. “...single... inch.”