by Julie Cannon
Other than a light blush on her cheeks, she looked like she had before entering Andrea’s office. In other words, perfectly normal. Inside, however, she was a mess. Two women talking and laughing entered through the double doors but both stopped when they saw Kenner at the sink. They quickly looked away and disappeared into adjacent stalls. Kenner took that as her cue to get back to the control room and tossed the paper towel in the trash on her way out the door.
*
“Andrea?”
The rattling door knob startled her. Andrea had no idea how long she’d been sitting behind her desk or how she even got there. She barely remembered Kenner leaving. Oh God, Kenner. Please let it not be Kenner. She couldn’t handle that right now, or ever.
“Andrea? It’s Jackie. You in there? Barry said you were headed back this way.”
Oh, fuck, that was the last thing she needed right now. Every company had their rumor mill, and NASA wasn’t excluded from that drama. Jackie Grime was the main source of all that was gossip.
“I’m on the phone, Jackie,” she was somehow coherent enough to say. She hoped that would make her go away.
“Why is your door locked?”
“I said I’m on the phone, Jackie,” Andrea repeated, quickly picking up the items scattered on the floor and placing them back on her desk. She pulled out her desk drawer, frantically looking for a mirror. She knew she had one, but her hands were shaking so badly she couldn’t find it. Finally, after her third time rummaging through the contents in the drawer, she pulled it out and held it up.
“Oh my God,” she whispered. Anyone with any skill of observation would know she’d just been fucked. Her hair was a mess, her face was flushed, her lipstick nonexistent, and her eyes were glassy. She’d never had this look before. She ran her brush through her hair several times and re-secured it behind her neck. Somehow she managed to reapply her lipstick without ending up looking like a clown and took several deep breaths. The instant she stood up she remembered she was commando, pulled her panties from her pocket, and stuffed them into the zippered compartment in her briefcase. She knew Jackie was still outside her door and had no choice but to unlock it and hope she’d made herself at least presentable.
“Why was your door locked?” Jackie eyed her suspiciously.
“Because I didn’t want to be disturbed,” she replied, relieved that the handle on her door stayed locked even when opened from the inside. If Jackie had walked in on her with her hair a mess and her panties in her hand…Andrea shuddered as she silently imagined that scene.
“But you never lock your door,” Jackie said, not so subtly looking over Andrea’s shoulder into her office.
Andrea didn’t have the time or the energy for her James Bond snooping. “Jackie, you have no idea what I do or don’t do. Now, did you need something?” Andrea sounded harsh but didn’t care.
“Yes. You’re needed in the control room.”
“Anything else?” Andrea watched Jackie pull her eyes away from the scan of her office and smile too sweetly.
“Nope, that’s it.”
*
Kenner felt, rather than saw, Andrea enter the control room. She didn’t try to convince herself she wasn’t waiting for her, but she was successful in not turning around to look at her. What was Andrea thinking? Was she as rattled as she was? Was she having difficulty focusing on what was in front of her? Was she reliving every moment? Every touch? Every sensation? Did she want more? Or was she mortified that she’d had pure, raw sex in her office? Was she chastising herself for losing control? Did she regret it? Was she embarrassed, ashamed,? Would she blame Kenner? Would she ever speak to her again or look her in the eye? Would she simply pretend it never happened? Was she experiencing the same emotional chaos over something she had no control over? Kenner wanted to look at Andrea, to somehow gauge her reaction, but she didn’t dare, afraid of what she might see in Andrea’s face, and she didn’t like it that what Andrea thought mattered.
Minutes ticked by and hours dragged on, and she had no indication that Andrea was going to do or say anything to her. She knew Andrea hadn’t left because her senses were still on high alert, as they were anytime Andrea was nearby.
“You need to go home, Hutchings. You look like shit,” the man beside her said, stating exactly how she felt.
“Thanks, Saul, I appreciate your concern,” she said sarcastically but with a smile. They had spent far too much time together these past seven days to be anything other than work BFFs. Kenner glanced at her watch, surprised it was almost nine. After making a few notes on her pad and several dozen keystrokes, she stood, stretched, and started gathering her things. She tried to look behind her to Andrea’s desk without being too obvious but only managed to catch a glimpse of an empty seat. Then she saw her from the corner of her eye talking to the propulsion specialist. Her body immediately responded to the memory of how Andrea’s sighs had escalated into gasps, how her face had flushed with passion, and just how damn good she tasted, and she had to grab the back of her chair to steady herself.
She thought about interrupting to say good night, then thought better of it, then thought what the hell and headed their way.
The propulsion guy, whose name she didn’t remember, looked her way first, and Kenner stepped next to Andrea when he stopped talking.
“I’m headed out,” she said to no one in particular.
Andrea stiffened beside her and didn’t acknowledge her in any way. When the silence among the three of them became awkward, Kenner turned and left the room.
Chapter Twenty-two
T-minus 03:01:02:22
“You did what?”
“Beth, keep your voice down,” Andrea said into her phone.
“Who’s going to hear me? Paul and the kids are upstairs asleep, and I’m in the basement. Now tell me again what you did?”
“You heard me the first time, Beth. I don’t need to repeat myself,” Andrea said, just a little angrily. She’d had a hard-enough time saying it out loud in the first place.
“Oh, I heard you all righty, but I want to hear it again. I can’t even begin to imagine—”
“Beth, stop it,” Andrea said firmly. She didn’t have to imagine anything. The scene kept playing in her brain over and over again, like a record with a scratch.
“Oh, all right, Andi. But you’re no fun sometimes.”
“Fun?” Andrea almost exclaimed. “I had sex…in my office…with an employee…a female employee.” Andrea emphasized the word. “While seven of my crew members are stranded two hundred and fifty thousand miles away on the moon. On the fucking moon.” It sounded too bizarre to be true, but Andrea was living the nightmare and knew it wasn’t.
“Let’s put the stranded crew members to the side for right now and focus on the sex, in the office, with a female employee. I assume we’re talking about Kenner?”
“Jesus, Beth, who else would we be talking about?”
“No one, of course, Andi. I was just checking. You’ve been under a great deal of stress lately.”
“And I’m going to have sex with a complete stranger in my office because of it? Get a grip, Beth.” That’s what Andrea needed to do—get a grip on the mess she’d just made. She’d tried to leave before Kenner did this evening, afraid she’d want to talk to her. She knew that was the coward’s way out, but she had absolutely no idea what to say or how to act.
“So what happened?”
Andrea wished she had the answer to that question. “We were talking, and the next thing I knew we were…you know…” Andrea was waving her hand in the air like her sister could see it through the phone waves.
“No, I don’t know, but I’d like to,” Beth said, and in some other time Andrea could imagine them having this conversation after two bottles of wine while sitting on Beth’s couch. As it was, she held a tumbler of scotch and was pacing in her living room.
“But we’ll save that for later too. So what happened…after…?”
The word hung in the air, and
the image that flashed in her head was definitely during and not after. Her clit began to throb again—or had it ever stopped?
“She left and went back to the control room.”
“Just like that, she left and went back to work? I’m a little ill-informed on the lesbian hookup thing, but she didn’t say anything to you?”
“You’re asking me? I have no fucking clue on the protocol for something like this.” Andrea refilled her glass and took another swallow.
“Okay, so, tell me exactly what happened. I doubt you two were just talking and she pounced. Or were you the pouncer?”
“No, I was not the pouncer,” Andrea said firmly. She was a follower in bed, so her behavior shocked her in more ways than one. “She came into my office right after Barry had just reamed me out and asked if I wanted to get some lunch.”
“I’ll have to remember that line,” Beth said jokingly.
“Beth, this isn’t funny.”
“I know, Andi. I’m sorry, but this is so unlike you. You’re such a by-the-book Barbie, I never, in a million years, would have even imagined you would do something like that. I mean, I know you’ve had sex, but I never thought—”
“Can we stop talking about the sex part?” Andrea asked. “I have a serious problem I need to face tomorrow, and I have no fucking clue what to do.” Andrea proceeded to explain to Beth the foreplay and afterglow of their encounter. An odd choice of words but true nonetheless.
“What do you want to do?”
Beth’s question was so simple Andrea stopped pacing. What did she want? Her left brain was telling her she needed to apologize to Kenner for stepping out of bounds and that it in no way would negatively influence their working relationship. Yeah, that and Tuesday didn’t come after Monday. Her right brain wanted to do it again. She wanted it fast, and hard, and completely without inhibitions. She wanted to feel her pulse race and her heart pound so hard she thought she would explode out of her chest. She wanted to gasp with pleasure and soar in the clouds of ecstasy. She wanted to taste Kenner on her tongue and hear her name whispered in the dark. She wanted to crawl under a rock and never come out.
“You can’t avoid her forever, Andi,” Beth said quietly, stating the obvious.
“Not forever. Just till we bring the crew home.”
“Then what? Are you planning to ask her to dinner? Maybe see a movie or grab a cup of coffee? Exchange Christmas cards?”
Jeez, she’d called Beth for support and to help her figure out what to do, not be part of a comedy act. “Of course not, but my pressing problem is tomorrow morning.” This is what Andrea had been dreading since Kenner had left earlier this evening.
“Well, it looks like you have several choices,” Beth said. “You can act like nothing happened, apologize and tell her it will never happen again, resign because you feel you violated some inner code of conduct, or lock the door behind her and you pounce on her this time.”
“Jesus, Beth, I’m so glad we had this chat and you helped me figure things out. It’s late, go to bed. I’ll talk to you in a few days.”
Andrea dropped her phone on the couch and followed it, lifting her feet to the coffee table in front of her. She had fucked up. Seriously fucked up, and only she could get herself out of this situation. The problem was there was no manual or standard operation procedure for this one. She was in completely uncharted territory. She knew what she had to do but didn’t know what she was going to do. When the clock on the wall behind her chimed one, she wasn’t any closer to figuring it out.
Chapter Twenty-three
T-minus 01:14:28:32
“So you’re just going to ignore what happened between us,” Kenner asked, her words a statement. Two days had passed since the incident in Andrea’s office, and in that time Andrea had spoken to her only when absolutely necessary and never alone. Kenner had finally cornered her in her office after the morning briefing.
“Nothing happened,” Andrea said, her eyes darting around the room.
“Nothing happened?” Kenner was surprised yet not surprised at all. She had expected Andrea would take the authoritative stance and demand that they simply brush it under the carpet, so to speak. “Then what would you call it? Because I remember something very definitely happened.”
“A mistake.”
“A mistake?” For some reason that word was like a jab in the stomach with a hot poker. It had been hard to have Andrea snub her for two days, but this was far worse. This was why she didn’t get involved.
“Yes.”
“You can’t undo it, Andrea.”
“Then I’ll just pretend it never happened.”
“Why?”
“Why?” Andrea asked, obviously confused by her question.
“Yes, why?”
“Your twenty questions are up. I don’t have to answer that.”
“Actually it’s been only five. Why do you want to pretend it never happened? You can’t just erase it like a program that didn’t work or a standard operating procedure that’s out of date.” Kenner looked around Andrea’s office—the scene of the “crime.” Andrea didn’t answer and Kenner pushed the point. “Why, Andrea? Are you afraid of what the answer might be?”
“Of course not,” she shot back, her face reddening with anger.
“Then answer the fucking question.”
“I am not going to dignify what happened or this entire conversation with an answer.”
“Why? Because you liked it?” Kenner said, starting to get really pissed off. Andrea had clearly liked it, and Kenner wanted her to hear her say it.
Andrea stood, her face hard and angry. “How dare you?” she said through clenched teeth. Obviously Kenner had hit the right button.
“How dare I? You know, Andrea, there’s a fine line between fighting and fucking.”
“And you crossed it.”
“I crossed it?” Kenner asked, stunned. That wasn’t how she remembered it, especially when Andrea had grabbed her hair and raised her legs higher.
“Yes. This is a working relationship, not your latest hookup.”
“I didn’t hear you say no. As a matter of fact ‘yes’ came out of your mouth on more than one occasion. Especially when I was finger-fucking you and again when my tongue was on your clit.”
“Get out,” Andrea growled.
“My pleasure,” Kenner said and started to leave. She stopped, tilted her head to the side, and said, “As a matter of fact, it was my pleasure, Andrea, and if you stop to admit it, it was yours too. We didn’t commit a crime. Nobody forced anyone to do anything. We simply reacted to a situation in a natural, healthy way. And the sooner you admit that, the better off you’ll be. Yes, you,” she said, noting Andrea’s shocked expression. “Because I’m perfectly fine with what happened.”
Kenner stepped back and ran her eyes slowly over Andrea’s body. Today she was wearing a pair of charcoal-gray trousers, her cuffs settling perfectly on her loafers, a crisp white blouse, and a gray-and-black checked scarf tied around her neck. She was stunning. All power and sensuality, and damn, she wanted her.
“Actually, I’m better than fine. And I’m not ashamed to admit I’d like to do it again. Maybe not right here,” she said, motioning to her desk, “but somewhere else where we can take our time, not have to worry about anything or anyone except ourselves. So when you’re ready, you know where to find me.”
“Get out,” Andrea repeated, her face flushed with anger.
*
“I’ve got it!”
Every voice in the room stopped, and thirty-two pairs of eyes turned to look at Kenner, including Andrea’s. She was standing waving a piece of paper in her hand.
“I’ve got it, I figured it out,” Kenner said, her voice full of excitement and triumph. She looked around the room, her face glowing with accomplishment.
“What is it?” Andrea asked, stepping down from her desk area and weaving her way through the crowd to Kenner. The first thing she noticed was that Kenner looked tired, really t
ired. The second were the dark circles under her eyes, and the third, the sheer joy on her face.
“I figured it out,” Kenner repeated. She went on to explain how she’d discovered the root cause of the ignition switches not firing and what the solution was. She answered dozens of questions shouted out from the people around her.
“Get it on the sim,” Andrea said, referring to the flight simulator in the adjacent room. They would program Kenner’s solution, then observe the shuttle’s response.
Andrea tried not to be overly optimistic because many other simulations in the last few days had failed miserably. But this time was different. This time it was Kenner’s solution, and Andrea had a gut feeling this one would work. Erring on the side of caution, she didn’t plan to call Barry until they knew positively that it would succeed.
Chapter Twenty-four
T-minus 00:00:00:04
“Houston, we have ignition.” Commander Albert’s words resonated throughout the control room loud and clear.
A roar of jubilation erupted in the control room, reminiscent of the scene in the 1995 movie Apollo 13 starring Tom Hanks when the command module broke through the re-entry silence after almost six terrifying days in space. Men and women were shaking hands and hugging as status lights that had been blinked red for ten days now turned green as each system powered up.
Someone was shaking Andrea’s hand and slapping her on the back, but all she could see was Kenner. Actually, she could barely see her because of the celebratory crowd around her so thick it almost swallowed her. She’d come through for the seven astronauts and for this mission, and three hours and fifty-six minutes after Kenner had shot out of her chair, the engines fired up.